CHY AN DOUR (Cornish Or KERNOWEK for “Our House” or
“Our home” KERNOW =
Category: Written for IMTP VS 10 Valentine challenge.
Keywords: H MSR Mild Angst , very light MT ( Now
theres a shocker)
Rating: PG for several choice metaphores, lots of
affection, romance and
general goofyness. Stuff happens.
Summary: Uh well A reunion , a gift, and a cosy
weekend of planned romance
in Cornwall,rustic charm, Best laid plans etc etc..
Spoilers: FIRE and The PILOT. SOME MYTHARC eps.
Archive: 2 weeks exclusively on IMTP VS10 after that
my website and
anywhere that would want it..
Feedback: Any would be much appreciated.
Disclaimer: They have more fun with me CC but Il be
nice and give them
back clean ,sweet smelling and refreshed.
A couple of brands of various drugstore products which
also dont belong
to me but hey Im giving you free publicity.
No point sueing. C’mon criss what would you do with a
mouldy cornish pasty
and my son’s battered scooter with the
wonky front wheel?
Author’s Notes: Humble appologies to the wonderful
folks of Cornwall.
I go there every year on vacations and spend simply
oodles of money in your wonderful Duchy. I am in fact,
part Cornish myself paternally, so please don’t take
the content of my fic to be in anyway derogatory,
either people , culture,language.etc…
All references thierin are made with a mixture of
personal anecdotal licence and deep affection. Its a
beautiful place to explore, beaches are
fantastic, and the weather is great (most of the
time.) A few scenes from the last James Bond was
filmed there. (VEG)
All incedents in this fic have been anecdotal either
to me, friends or loved ones and adapted for your
amusement and M&S’s. Although I fear a certain friend
will be quite honoured to know that I have forever
immortalised a previously entertaining feature of her
humble abode into X files fanfic. I say previous,
because the er problem has been recified. By
Chy an Dor (Kernowek for Our house)
“Mulder it’s so gorgeous!” Scully’s grin was all
bright eyes and teeth; a radiance of love dancing in
their blueness to rival the perfect sky, as she gazed
with awe at the picturesque cottage before them,
gravel crunching pleasantly as Mulder slid up the
drive in their rented open top MG. The car came to a
stop and he switched off the ignition. The car purred
a beat then stopped.
” This is it. I promised you candy box perfect. Can I
cook Scully? I knew you’d love it.” Mulder sighed
expectantly, turning to show off his own expensive
orthodontistry. He took off his shades, his thumb
gently grazing her cheek.
She looked like a 16 year old on her first big prom
His arms slid around her waist and he leaned in for a
kiss, claiming her lips with his own, a gesture she
hungrily returned. His heart did a happy little
Lambada knowing that he’d done something that had
delighted the love of his life and turned her into the
cuddly little ball of mushy promise, he cradled in his
arms. All his blood rushed south.
His other current love – the car, was hugging his ass
in a leather caress beneath him, which was quite
pleasing in several ways…. He really had to pick one
up when he got home. It was so choice.
Mulder imagined cruising around the countryside with
Scully in one of these, going from case to case in
beautiful sculptured seats. Weekends at the coast,
picnics etc.. Comfort personified. Better than a
bureau Crapsmobile any day of the week. Since he’d
become Scully’s lover, he’d developed a definite
extravagant streak. Not because he really cared about
his parents money, but now he often got overwhelmed
with the need to ensure Scully’s comfort and pleasure.
He had the cash, the “black” money his father had left
him, and he thought he might as well use it to make
her life a little better…a little happier. His
eternal guilt chip over things she had lost along the
way on his quest, still in prime working order,
despite her reassurances and love.
Scully seemed beside herself with happiness. Good to
know he still had the knack to make her happy,
especially after the unfortunate events in Oxford. The
reunion from hell. How he hoped that they could forget
the last few days and write them off as a particularly
unpleasant miasma of cosmic forces, bad moon rising or
post Christmas funk. The alcohol probably hadn’t
helped either. Scully had seemed a little out of
kilter lately anyway, it had started to gnaw at the
back of his subconscious.
Scully’s warm lips played tango with his own, paying
special attention to his pouty bottom lip, eventually
they came up for air, sun shining its benevolence on
them and not a cloud in the sky. February in Cornwall,
who would have thought the weather would be this kind.
It was perfect, the rolling hills and woods behind the
cottage were amazing and they felt like this was the
only little nook for miles around, and Scully’s hot
mouth eased away any fears he’d harbored in his heart
that she might be reconsidering their relationship.
He still couldn’t believe his luck that she had chosen
him at all.
The Ivy that hugged the whitewashed cottage walls sang
with the light breeze as if whispering “Hello”.
Mulder, content enough not to move for a few minutes
after what had been a long drive, burrowed further
into Scully’s neck, breathing in the Cherry scented
soap they had both been lathering themselves with in
the shower, the night before leaving Oxford. It had
tasted so good on her skin. Something south of
Mulder’s belly button twitched in remembrance. An
early birthday present he’d picked up for her in
Selfridges. He’d probably be buying a case before they
went home. The cottage break was her real present
though, and also doubled nicely as a romantic
Valentines getaway. Hopefully their latest and
unwelcome encounter with the demonic specter of Phoebe
Green would vanish into the ether of the beautiful
Cornish countryside and a weekend of serious passion.
With his nose buried in Scully’s fiery wind tussled
hair, all was right with the world…until he opened
one sleepy eyelid.
The Seagull seemed to do a victory swoop above them
after scoring a direct hit on its unfortunate targets.
It prescribed a perfect arc in the sky and veered off
with a last cheerful shriek towards the sea.
Why Anton Chekhov had ever felt moved enough to name
one of his more famous plays after one of these
defecating feathered bastards, was beyond Mulder at
that point and found his hand twitching for the weight
of a gun that wasn’t there. Right now a Bee-bee might
come in useful.
They stared at each other for a second or two in utter
stupefaction, taking in the aftermath of the attack; a
truly astounding amount of greeny yellowish, foul
smelling substance the consistency of lumpy oatmeal,
that would make the ABH throw up in disgust,
generously pebble dashed all over their clothes,
clinging to their faces and hair, not to mention
spread all across the entire cherry wood veneer of the
car dashboard. Must have ricocheted at an impossible
angle for its payload to coat everything so
completely, Mulder mused, trying hard not to vomit.
“Yikes. Hot lunch, Scully?” He was truly stunned at
the sheer volume of crap that one bird could produce.
Had this been the States, he’d have thought that a
Condor had happened by and taken a dump on them.
“Look at this amazing new hair gel, I’ve discovered.
Umm.” He gingerly held his fingers up to his nose to
sniff at them.
” Mulder you are truly gross, do you know that?” She
scooped a lump of the slimy muck out of her eye socket
and vigorously shook it off her fingers, onto the
gravel. Mulder was wiping a blob off his nose with the
cuff of his sweater, spitting out what was smeared all
over his lips. Scully watched him use around 80% of
all his facial muscles in a mask of utter disgust.
” I live for moments such as these, don’t you?. Bang
goes the car rental deposit. I don’t even think Amway
products could cope with clearing up all this crap, or
Scully produced a tissue and began dabbing at Mulder’s
quivering lips. He looked a bit green. ” There. You
missed a bit. Just tell me there’s a hot shower or
bath and you packed my soap.”
” I did. There’s a Claw foot tub, candles, hot water.
Soft sheets…. ” She grinned goofily at him.
“There had better be Mulder, and don’t tell me this is
supposed to be lucky. That’s bullshit.”
“Actually its gull shit.”
“Mulderrrr…” What was it about the cadence of
her voice that spoke directly to his groin?
“Kiss me Scully.” He leered at her over the top of
the tissue. Puckering his lips. Waggling his eyebrows.
” Yuck, in your dreams, Mulder.”
” I promise to floss.” Her face pulled into a just-
sucked- a- lemon grimace in reply before making a
beeline for the trunk. He sucked in a breath, flicking
a lump of bird crap off his cowlick and followed her
out of the car. “Twice..?” he glanced back once at the
state of the car and wanted to cry.
Their footsteps crunched swiftly across the gravel in
their haste to get indoors, and out of range of any
more reinforcements that might turn up in true
Hitchcockian tradition. Mulder muttering something
under his breath that sounded a little like “muck’ but
not quite, as he literally kicked the door open. Rain
clouds were sifting in from the east and looked
ominous on the horizon. He considered it wasn’t
entirely beyond the realm of science fiction that the
vapid Phoebe could be an evil sprite from middle earth
in an latter-day incarnation, and sitting in her bat
cave somewhere with a rippling seeing- eye mirror like
the big boobed witch had in “Red Sonya” , and set this
unpleasant revenge on them in retaliation for Scully’s
display back in Oxford. Phoebe had always made a
startling Cawing noise –much like a constipated gull
during her noisier orgasms, he shuddered in
remembrance as he hefted the bags through the door.
Definitely a visual to banish forthwith and
concentrate on what he had planned with Scully.
The house was as beautiful inside as it was out; it
just smelled musty with disuse. It was so cozy, the
perfect love nest. Seascapes adorned the walls,
tasteful décor that extended to the quaint floral
print sofa that looked like a giant marshmallow ready
to swallow them up, it looked so comfortable. Scully
almost cried with delight when she spotted the huge
open log fire and the antique range in the kitchen.
The bedrooms revealed a king size canopy bed with
Fleur de Lillie cotton valence and bedspread. Mulder
thought how romantic it would be to cast a sea of
blood red Rose petals all over the white organza and
light candles all around the room. His heart did a
little unnatural twist thinking about him and Scully
lying side by side, the candlelight flickering in her
eyes and their skin painted with amber light, sipping
champagne. He just needed to distract her long enough
to put his plans into action. Perhaps while she was in
the bath. His long fingers closed over the felt
covered mound in his pocket, to reassure himself it
was still there. He let him smile despite his nervous
Professor Scott, who had always looked sagely upon
Mulder like a second son while at Oxford, had been
badgering him for years to take him up on his offer to
borrow the cottage and take a lady friend there. It
had only taken him the best part of two decades to
capitulate. He remembered fondly the knowing wink the
old buzzard had given him. Now slightly deaf and away
with the fairies, he’d taken one look at Scully and
surreptitiously pressed the keys into Mulder’s hands,
with shaky fingers that spoke of early Parkinson’s.
The old boy seemed to find it profoundly amusing when
Scully, who had taken just about all she could stand
from Phoebe’s obnoxious repartees of put downs, and
accidentally on purpose retaliated in very un- Scully
like fashion. Phoebe’s head became the sole
beneficiary of Scully’s virtuous generosity, in the
form of her untouched Fillet minion in sauce
Béarnaise. Much to the amusement of the assembled
thong. Professor Scott lit a cigar and puffed on it
with barely concealed amusement, taking in Scully’s
satisfied glow and Mulder’s open mouth astonishment as
the said Miss Green., all dripping fury and bug eyes,
had beaten a hasty retreat from the diner hall. Whose
bright idea had it been to seat her next to Scully?
The professor had leaned over and whispered in
“She’s got balls, my boy. Do yourself a favor and hang
onto her. Marry her for god sakes.” Mulder had nodded
dumbly. The old guy smiled at Phoebe’s retreating
maelstrom as he handed him the keys. ” Silly Cow,
little Miss “Bury me a Y shaped coffin”, we used to
call her.” He chuffed on his cigar, laughing
So here they were, in a tiny village nestled in the
downs a few miles from Camborne.
They both fought the urge to sneeze as they dropped
their bags. First order of that day. Divesting
themselves of their clothes. This wasn’t quite the
reason Mulder wanted to get naked, but making love
would be a whole nicer not smothered in itchy bird
shit. He could hear Scully putting the kettle on the
range for tea. Right now he needed to strip and clean
his teeth…several times with a wire scrubbing brush
if necessary. No way was his missing out on Scully’s
amazing lips tonight. He was rooting for tongue too if
all went well with his gift.
Hot water rained down on their entwined bodies like a
warm blanket, cleansing the last of the Seagull
surprise from their hair and skin. Scully’s arms were
around his waist, head nestled against his chest,
drawn there by the rapid beat of his heart, warmth and
the cherry sweet smell of his skin, enjoying the
feeling of being clean again and revived by the water
and being with man she loved more than life itself.
He held against his own chest like a second skin,
nuzzling her neck and breathing her whole essence into
his soul. He loved her so much he wanted to weep. She
looked flushed, wonderful.
“Scully, what exactly made you mad enough so that
Phoebe ended up wearing your meal?” His soft voice
reverberated in his chest as he softly rinsed the soap
from her hair. Her eyes rose to meet his hooded green
ones and she let her lips curl up in a knowing smile
before melding herself to his mouth. God she was
beautiful, all wet and warm in his arms, nipping
little kisses down his face and neck
“I….er guess I decided she had it coming, Mulder. I
think it was the wine stripping away my normal good
sense. Right at that moment, it seemed like a good
thing to do at the time.” He was massaging her scalp
now and she automatically leaned into his touch.
“You enjoyed it way too much.” His voice was like
warm honey as his laugh ticked the hair at her neck.
” She got your Irish up…admit it. ”
“Yes she did…I guess…are you feeling sorry for
her?” He chuckled; her fingers smoothing over his
waist, feeling his stomach ripple in amusement.
” No, I’m just thinking of the poor chef who sweated
blood and tears to produce such a fine feast, only to
have you dump it all over Phoebe’s head. I enjoyed
” I enjoyed that. The satisfaction of seeing that
sauce dripping lazily down her prissy little face was
almost orgasmic. I wasn’t all that hungry, her
proximity had quite ruined my appetite for one
evening. I did the only thing I could have done under
the circumstances…what? Don’t tell me you didn’t
get a kick out of it? I know you Mulder.”
Mulder grinned devilishly, sucking air through his
teeth like ice cream had just gone in a filling.
Scully poked his chest with a teasing finger.
” I cannot lie to you. … yeah. Kinda hot. But that’s
“Orgasms. Agent Scully.” His eyes rolled about in a
sultry leer that made her toes melt. Scully laughed
running her fingers up and down Mulder’s back.
” So you liked me defending your honor, huh.” That
piqued his curiosity.
” C’mon baby what did she say?”
” I…. ?”
Just then, a huge thunderclap cracked the air over the
cottage, shocking them both. Something loud crashed in
the vicinity of the living room, the sound of glass
breaking startled them.
Shit!!!! What now ?, Mulder thought groping for their
“What was that Mulder?”
“Dunno sounded like the living room window. C’mon.”
Sure enough, a large oak branch had come through the
window. Rain, Glass and debris strewn everywhere.
Mulder sighed, quickly dressing, leaving Scully to
build the fire up while he found boards to nail up at
the windows. The storm outside raged on.
Half an hour later Mulder emerged back through the
door cold, soaked through and shaking from braving the
elements, which had turned decidedly nasty since
they’d arrived here. Howling wind came through door
with him. He just wanted to drop. He went to stand by
the heat of the log fire Scully had built up while he
fixed the window. Apart from freezing through to the
bone, he’d managed to drive a nail into his palm
instead of the board. He looked miserable as he held
his bloodied hand to his chest.
“Here le me see that, Mulder.” She took his hand in
her own , away from his chest to inspect it. He was
” Its Okay, just a scratch…. it will be fine. I
just want to get back in that hot shower. I’m frigging
freezing.” His teeth chattered just to make his
point. Their romantic evening seemed to be sliding
further and further onto the back burner.
” Its more than a scratch, Mulder, this will need a
few sutures. I’ll get my kit. Aren’t you due for
another tetanus about now? ” He cringed. Uh oh,
Doctor Scully rides again. Trust her to remember
something as anal as that.
” Umm…. Maybe…Its okay, I want to get out of these
wet clothes now. You can see to it after. ” Blue
daring eyes locked on defiant green. He looked so
gorgeous when he batted those huge lashes at her. The
little boy in him could always knock her dead.
“Okay,” she acquiesced with a tired sigh. “Go get
your shower and get warm G-man. Careful with that
wound though, rinse it thoroughly but not with very
hot water. I’ll get you some clothes, make you some
hot tea and we’ll do this after. But…” and there was
a hint of evil about her smile that Mulder felt right
down to his frozen marrow. “…It comes with a jab. I
don’t want you getting lockjaw on me.”
Mulder’s leer reached right up to his ears as his
mind skittered off on a divergent thought at her last
words. Scully caught the look and pursed her lips.
She’d been with him way too long to need to wonder
what mucky little innuendo he was thinking about.
Mulder ducked into the shower again, while Scully
decided a visit to the ladies room was in order first;
she followed Mulder to the bathroom and stopped,
checking the other doors off the passageway. Where the
hell was it?
” Mulder? Where’s the ah…?” She stopped short at
the site of his splendid naked ass vanishing behind
the shower curtain. ” The um….”
” Little agent’s room? Its outside.” His voice came
back through a cascade of running water and steam. The
smell of cherries pleasantly availed her senses.
” What? You are joking right? ”
” Scully this is rural Cornwall, land of legend and
devilish little people called Knockers, the Cornish
Pisky, pasties, communing with land sea and sky, half
the charm of living in rustic places is the outside
” A Chokey… Mulder? You mean I have to go out in
that storm…. in all that wind. Okaaayyyyy then. ”
She thought she heard him giggle. ” Mulderrrr? ”
“Its either that or a bucket….”
” Oh…nicely put, Mr. sophisticated.” She huffed,
sounding whiney even to her own voice ” coming from
someone who has been known to relieve himself in the
sink.” She heard a wet sounding chuckle and the sound
of a thud on the shower floor that told her he’d
dropped his soap. A wet, bemused , adorable Mulderface
appeared around the curtain.
” I did NOT!!!”
“Oh yes you did. Frat boy…Frohicke has the
“Where?…That little weasel…I” Scully flashed him a
kilowatt smile that smacked of victory. Too much for
his liking. He couldn’t remember the incident in
question fully, but just prayed to the gods the
dastardly deed hadn’t occurred at Margaret Scully’s.
His height challenged friend was going to be dead meat
when he got back to DC.
“Mulder, honey, please can we hurry.”
” How about you try the sink facilities, G- woman?..”
Her glare seared his retinas with their intensity. ”
But…. on second thoughts…since you are um…a
little gender..err height challenged for that
activity…I’ll just get dressed and come out there
with you. Find the mag-light, will ya, Scully. It’s in
my rucksack. Can you hand me my robe. Please?” The
soft terry-towel landed on his head.
Scully just stared at him, strangely lost for words,
tapping her fingers in an irritable tattoo on the
wall, trying to ignore the ache in her bladder as he
threw on his bathrobe, then went off to find the
torch, shaking her head and rolling her eyes.
The ‘Chokey’ was two thirds of the way up the garden,
since the path went up hill, they had a devil of a
job, just keeping hold of each other, keeping upright
as the wind blew around them in an angry tempest.
Nature felt really pissed off in this part of the
world, they both gasped as the wind took their breath
away, leaves and branches slapped at their skin.
Individually, they both wondered about catching
pneumonia, most likely at this rate. So much for the
romantic weekend. Mulder felt a suspicious tightness
in his chest that was starting to be very unfunny.
Scully darted inside the dilapidated wooden door,
leaving the latch on. Mulder shivered miserably,
aiming his mag-light beam around the gap left in the
opening. He was nearly knocked flat by Scully coming
back through a beat later.
“What? What is it.. Scully?” He fought to steady
himself against the chokey wall, while she just looked
” Mulderrr…it ….barfed up a rat…?”
“What?!!” Sheesh, you’d think some of the things
she sees at autopsy’s
” A …a rat! …horrible BIG rat! ” Her despair was
a shaky whisper fighting against the wind, half her
voice torn away by the elements, she swung back the
door and they both peered gingerly inside. Scully
grabbed hold of his ass. He bit down a gasp at her
fingernails digging in.
” Its was floating and it all welled up and slid over
the top. It’s flooding over. Its little eye looking up
at me. I almost sat on it.” Stifling an insane urge
to laugh, Mulder shone his torch at the troubling
sight before him.
This particular Chokey was not well. Something very
brown and nasty clung to every inch of the chipped
porcelain and something bubbled inside it like the
thing from the black lagoon, cheerfully burbling away
to itself like some hideous sucking swamp creature
from Mulder’s nightmares.
WUP WUP …WUP.
I know just how you feel, pal, thought Mulder as he
spied the unfortunate soggy rodent amidst the morass
of spilled ablutions. The smell made the chokey live
literally up to its name.
” Alas poor Krycek , I knew him well. So that’s where
you have been hiding buddy. Scully, um, I need a
bucket full of soapy water and bleach. The ah…
facilities seem to be blocked so we need to find the
drain cover. ” Mulder sighed, he was looking at his
third shower of the evening, his chest hurt and his
hand throbbed like a battered heart, but the worst
feeling of all was knowing with all reasonable
certainty, that a wild and pleasurable coupling (or a
good ole portion, as the locals called it,) was not on
the cards tonight.
After this, he was going to have a very hot,
alcoholically saturated cappuccino and collapse into
those inviting fluffy virgin white sheets, hopefully
with Scully to fuss over him. When he turned around,
Scully was scowling and trying not to eat a mouthful
of hair that kept plastering itself in her face. Last
time he saw that look of death frenzy; it had been
aimed at one infinitely annoying Scotland Yard
inspector, whose social skills hadn’t evolved much
since Cro-Magnon times. She trembled with disgust or
annoyance, he wasn’t quite sure which, but she
suddenly grabbed his flashlight and was scuttleling
back down the path toward the cottage again before he
could utter another word. The back of her robe
swishing in the mud behind her. The howling wind
snatched away all but her choicest words of profanity.
On the other hand, perhaps he’d be sleeping alone. He
hung his head in the rain. This did not bode well. A
single tear slipped down his face and merged with the
moisture already there. The heavens were crying with
him in empathy it seemed.
Getting the drain cover off was a feat in itself and
took the two of them a good few minutes of scorching
‘F’ words and broken fingernails to achieve their
objective. Mulder was wheezing by now and for the
first time in an hour, Scully looked at him with some
concern, but even that was short-lived. It put him in
mind of that first case back in Oregon. A graveyard in
the rain, Scully laughed that time. Beautiful, all wet
and exhilarated, their partnership gelling closer
together with each moment of growing trust even at
that early stage. They’d both been so young. He’d
loved her then too. Even back that far, his heart
reminded him, as he hefted back the metal cover as she
watched on. She really looked pissed.
” Go back inside and keep warm Scully, I can do this.
” Scully glared at him, shaking her head. The rain
came down like stair rods now. He wasn’t sure what
had stopped her jigging about but for a desperate
woman, she looked much calmer now. He bit down the
urge to comment about the sink again.
” Can’t it wait to the morning? I should look at your
Yep the sink had seen some action.
” Nah lets do this now, I don’t think Il be compos
mentis in the morning. I’m as stiff as Elvis now.”
She gave him a predictably filthy look.
Scully helped him pour the soapy concoction gingerly
into the drain hole. As it disappeared into the dark
abyss beneath them, they heard a swooshing noise going
the length of the drain. Hopefully that hit the spot.
Now for the second bucketful.. They heaved the bucket
into position, between them, fighting to stay upright
in the wind, all of a sudden the mag light went out.
Then two things happened simultaneously. Scully’s
fearful shriek drowned out Mulder’s heart stopping
yell, as some unknown heavy object cannoned into his
back and knocked him arms and legs akimbo flat across
the drain hole. The full force of the water from the
bucket shot up the drain like a bursting dam with a
horrible THUNK!. Scully and Mulder heard their voices
cry out in fearful union.
There was a short warning sound of ominous gurgling
before a huge torrent of water shot full force back
out the hole like a the old faithful geyser and
sprayed everything in its path with a dripping river
of crap. Scully fell backwards and Mulder cringed as
he heard a loud splash, an unhappy confirmation that
the love of his life had fallen in the pond he’d
spotted earlier. Something wet and slimy nudged his
face as he lay there breathless, and a even wetter,
raspy thing slid over his face, that stilled his heart
on the spot. A second or two later, it was thudding
again, he was panting at the frigid air,
dripping…smelling. Something rough almost took off a
few layers of his face. Yuck. He was up and out of the
hole then like a bat out of hell.
” Scully? ” He ambled towards her frightened voice,
the high level of it scaring him silly. Something was
following him…not just one thing, lots of things…
shitshitshit.. Every part of him ached as he spotted
the damp outline of Scully and he leaned forward to
grasp her hand.
Just then a blast of white light shone in their faces,
blinding them. Mulder arms automatically shot up to
his face to protect his eyes and he keeled over on top
of a struggling Scully trying to get up behind him,
her cold wet hands grabbing his ass cheeks. Normally
he would have enjoyed the sensation but their combined
inertia immersed them again in the icy pond; Mulder
spluttering and gasping as his face slid beneath the
murky water. They grappled against each other to sit
upright again. It was then they heard the hideous
laughter. …And something else. Something not quite
Once their eyes became accustomed to the light, they
both gasped at the sea of red eyes bearing down on
them. They flew into each other’s arms, clinging
tighter than conjoined twins as they both tried to
breathe and couldn’t.
Oh God! Did he just yell that out loud?
The light came nearer and became more intense, then it
suddenly swung upward into the driving rain, leaving
enough light to see the shape of a…man?
” Not God, my andsome boy, jus farmer Morley. Seems ye
found my erd, avee?” His stout body seemed to fold in
on itself as once again the maniacal laughter floated
through storm like a hyena doing something unnatural
to a corpse. ” Ohh let the cows owt oohhh ohhhh,
ooohhh?” More laughter bounced around them.
Mulder was not amused. Christ, the stupid old fart
sounded akin to that alien from ‘Galaxy Quest’ ” Now
the damn cows were joining in with their braying.
Scully was too shocked to do anything other than to
cling to Mulder like a limpet. This joker should be
damned glad they left their guns in DC.
Cows…lots and lots of cows. If he had his way they’d
be hamburger. His eidetic mind’s eye played out a nice
fat juicy steak stuck right on phoebe’s head, while
her big mouth opened and a mooing noise came out.. A
prickly tongue curled itself around Mulder’s ear with
a playful slurp just then. Ewweee.
” Whoever you are, you Kernowek redneck jackass, don’t
just stand there like an asthmatic warthog, get us out
of this F*&&^^%$$#$% pond!!!”
Just then a previously dumbstruck Scully, found
credence to her voice.
” Fu… ff.. f*^&%#%#$#$!!!!!”
” Not in front of the, Bovine
Scully….ahhhhcheeooooooo!!” Wheeze splutter.
A little while later.
Mulder lay naked and warm beneath the white comforter
of their huge bed. Scully lay beside him, hands
lovingly running through his damp hair. He groaned
softly as he leaned into her touch. There was a short
beep and Scully removed the thermometer from his ear.
” BEEP! Your body temperature is 102,4.” The scratchy
digital voice on Scully’s new state of the art med-
gadget declared all too cheerfully, kind of reminded
him of Joan Rivers.
Scully put a stethoscope bell to his chest, smiling
ruefully as she listened. Mulder leered goofily at her
through a cherry Nyquil haze. Sitting there in her
peachy bathrobe, hair wet and cheeks carrying just a
hint of wind kissed flush, she looked too darn hot to
be a doctor. But he was glad she was. He hoped while
she was listening to his heart, that she could hear
just how much he loved her right then. She leaned
forward and kissed him, signaling that Doctor Scully
had retired for the evening and his lover had
returned. Not that he had any strength to show her a
good time. He felt like he was floating up amongst the
old oak beams in the ceiling. Their lips met again,
briefly dueling for a better taste of each other.
” Its official G-man. You have bronchitis. A couple of
days in bed and you should be fine. ” Mulder was
rubbing her back in little circles through her fleece
” Does that mean I get to share them with you, Doctor
” Only if you’re a very good G-man.” She was making
that purring sound at the back of her throat again.
” Sorry Scully. So much for romance huh.” he tickled
that sensitive spot behind her ear.
” If you are a very good boy, you might get a massage
when you’re feeling better. But I think for now I just
prescribe hot chocolate and a couple of hot water
” You’re the only hot thing I want baby” She almost
squealed as he sucked at her ear lobe. His arms
pulling her onto the bed until she straddled his legs.
“Hey, it’s the 14th today. Happy Valentine’s, Scully?
I love you. Baby.”
” Love you too, Mulder.” She looked radiant in the
candlelight flickering around the room. She looked
hesitant for a second then looked up her eyes ablaze.
It was a look he didn’t recognize, just a tiny nuance
that had him curious and made his heart beat like a
” I got you a present, Scully…” Now his heart was
thudding in earnest as he rolled slightly to one side
and slid his arm slid his pillow, fingers closing over
the almost pulsating little box, or was that just his
own pulse. He’d never been so nervous in his life.
This, despite being ill, this was a wonderful setting.
He’d save the rose petals for another day and the
champagne. It would taste much better when his taste
buds returned. He had to do this before his heart
gauged it’s way out of his chest. …
“Mulder, I got you one too, its …er big.. Pretty..
um big. Can I give you the little one first,”
“Scully…I…you did? Er…sure. ” She slid her
hand over the covers of the bed and pushed a fist
sized package into his shaking palms. Her impossibly
blue eyes never leaving his. He was holding his
breath, heart one big ache and for a moment he thought
it had stopped altogether. After what seemed like an
eternity, he tore his eyes away from hers and looked
down, uncurling his fingers. Two seconds later, the
paper was off and he gulped when he revealed ….a
jar of VICKS VAPOR RUB.
Mulder could not believe the high-pitched hysterical
laughter had come from his mouth. Scully seized both
his arms when she thought he might have some kind of
seizure and made him look at her. The little green
flecks in his eyes blew up in a riot, pupils dilating
madly in a way that shouted the hurt he felt. His lips
were trembling and his eyes held back a dam of tears
that made her smile fade.
” I um , I always wanted one of these, …err.. Every
boys wet dream…”
” Mulder, that prescription I was telling you about?
…That’s part of it. I have your real gift right here
the big one. Don’t cry…I’m going to rub this all
over your chest later. I’m sorry, please…love so
sorry. ” he sniffed, and choked out a sound that could
have been a laugh., eyes still holding a sadness she
hated herself for causing, already regretting the
silly gag. Something more serious was going on with
him and it shocked her to realize just how much she
misjudged this moment. Suddenly she felt scared.
Scared for both of them, the stress of the last few
days, the strangeness she felt inside that robbed her
of her normal equilibrium. His beautiful eyes held her
fast. She felt her breath hitch as she pulled a long
slim beautifully wrapped package from the deep pocket
of her robe, took his fingers and closed them over it.
His eyes were closed but his face was a mask. She
could hear his heart beat through the ambient light.
As loud as the storm in her mind and in every breath
she took with him, both of them now breathing in sync.
” This is the big present?” he bit his bottom lip as
she nodded. His fingers turning it over in his hands,
knuckled almost white, he was gripping it so tightly.
Scully gulped back a threatened tear.
” Its big, very big, trust me on this. The biggest
” Is it a tooth brush? ” he made no move to take off
the paper. Something in her eyes made him start
tearing at it gently, almost in slow motion.
“Scully…?” His eyes changed colors so suddenly that
it made her gasp, it was that second she realized that
his mind has pulled into all the right places like a
Rubik’s puzzle and they were both staring down at his
hands, …..at the slim plastic pen shaped device that
showed two blue lines in two separate little windows.
They came together by consensus, arms tightening
around each other. Mulder’s face was suddenly wet and
from that split second, it was finally real to her.
The other half of her, the other soul that joined with
her to make this miracle merged as one and they
finally basked in the healing warmth of a supernova.
” Scull……god..ba ..ba bab..god baby!! Scully?
You’re pregnant…?oh god.” The rest of his emotional
wheezing got lost beneath her hair as he buried
himself against her and sobbed his heart out. She
nodded her head, suddenly laughing and crying , trying
to do the impossible and pull him closer.
After everything they’d lost after all they had been
through, all the pain, the fear and anguish, vaporized
in an instant. The miracle of their unborn child had
already begun to heal them.
He came up for a strong heaving breath. Chest tight
with emotion and they kissed at each others tears,
their fingers at each others temples. When he spoke
again he was gasping for air but she’d never seen him
” I love you…so much.”
” I love you Mulder, …we love you.” her hands left
his face momentarily, and pulled his to caress their
unborn child. ” Happy Valentine, Mulder. I love you so
so much. I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want
you. I wouldn’t have thought it was possible to feel
what I feel for you.”
” Your are my Heart scully, my life. No one could ask
for such a wonderful present as this. Thank you. So
Much…….Oh my GOD” She startled at his stricken
” What? …Mulder, are you alright.?” She was too
busy worrying about his sudden hacking cough to
notice the little felt box he was pressing into her
Oh MY God!! MULDER…
” Almost forgot. Guess…now…” Choke …cough ”
this will come in handy. ”
” Mulder!!! Oh…”
“Scully will you do me the profound honor of becoming
my wife?.” his hands slid nervously to their child
safe in her belly. ” mother of my child.” Taking her
left hand in his own, eyes never leaving hers, he
leaned back, pushing the ring on her third finger. A
” Oh Mulder. You know damn well I will!!! You have
the most amazing timing.”
” ummmm let me show you timing baby.” For the rest of
the night they lay together, never more than a breath
away. Despite his illness, they consummated their
engagement and their good news . Several times.
” Yeah baby?” His mouth had started that slow erotic
trail behind her ear again and she shivered.
” I hate to ask this but……..Did you close the soft
top on the car last night?”
” OH F^^%%&*)K!!!”