Chy An Dour

CHY AN DOUR (Cornish Or KERNOWEK for “Our House” or

“Our home” KERNOW =


Category: Written for IMTP VS 10 Valentine challenge.

Keywords: H MSR Mild Angst , very light MT ( Now

theres a shocker)

Rating: PG for several choice metaphores, lots of

affection, romance and

general goofyness. Stuff happens.

Summary: Uh well A reunion , a gift, and a cosy

weekend of planned romance

in Cornwall,rustic charm, Best laid plans etc etc..

Spoilers: FIRE and The PILOT. SOME MYTHARC eps.

Archive: 2 weeks exclusively on IMTP VS10 after that

my website and

anywhere that would want it..

Feedback: Any would be much appreciated.

Disclaimer: They have more fun with me CC but Il be

nice and give them

back clean ,sweet smelling and refreshed.

A couple of brands of various drugstore products which

also dont belong

to me but hey Im giving you free publicity.

No point sueing. C’mon criss what would you do with a

mouldy cornish pasty

and my son’s battered scooter with the

wonky front wheel?

Author’s Notes: Humble appologies to the wonderful

folks of Cornwall.

I go there every year on vacations and spend simply

oodles of money in your wonderful Duchy. I am in fact,

part Cornish myself paternally, so please don’t take

the content of my fic to be in anyway derogatory,

either people , culture,language.etc…

All references thierin are made with a mixture of

personal anecdotal licence and deep affection. Its a

beautiful place to explore, beaches are

fantastic, and the weather is great (most of the

time.) A few scenes from the last James Bond was

filmed there. (VEG)

All incedents in this fic have been anecdotal either

to me, friends or loved ones and adapted for your

amusement and M&S’s. Although I fear a certain friend

will be quite honoured to know that I have forever

immortalised a previously entertaining feature of her

humble abode into X files fanfic. I say previous,

because the er problem has been recified. By

Liceneced workmen.

Chy an Dor (Kernowek for Our house)

“Mulder it’s so gorgeous!” Scully’s grin was all

bright eyes and teeth; a radiance of love dancing in

their blueness to rival the perfect sky, as she gazed

with awe at the picturesque cottage before them,

gravel crunching pleasantly as Mulder slid up the

drive in their rented open top MG. The car came to a

stop and he switched off the ignition. The car purred

a beat then stopped.

” This is it. I promised you candy box perfect. Can I

cook Scully? I knew you’d love it.” Mulder sighed

expectantly, turning to show off his own expensive

orthodontistry. He took off his shades, his thumb

gently grazing her cheek.

She looked like a 16 year old on her first big prom


“Definitely Mulder.’


His arms slid around her waist and he leaned in for a

kiss, claiming her lips with his own, a gesture she

hungrily returned. His heart did a happy little

Lambada knowing that he’d done something that had

delighted the love of his life and turned her into the

cuddly little ball of mushy promise, he cradled in his

arms. All his blood rushed south.

His other current love – the car, was hugging his ass

in a leather caress beneath him, which was quite

pleasing in several ways…. He really had to pick one

up when he got home. It was so choice.

Mulder imagined cruising around the countryside with

Scully in one of these, going from case to case in

beautiful sculptured seats. Weekends at the coast,

picnics etc.. Comfort personified. Better than a

bureau Crapsmobile any day of the week. Since he’d

become Scully’s lover, he’d developed a definite

extravagant streak. Not because he really cared about

his parents money, but now he often got overwhelmed

with the need to ensure Scully’s comfort and pleasure.

He had the cash, the “black” money his father had left

him, and he thought he might as well use it to make

her life a little better…a little happier. His

eternal guilt chip over things she had lost along the

way on his quest, still in prime working order,

despite her reassurances and love.

Scully seemed beside herself with happiness. Good to

know he still had the knack to make her happy,

especially after the unfortunate events in Oxford. The

reunion from hell. How he hoped that they could forget

the last few days and write them off as a particularly

unpleasant miasma of cosmic forces, bad moon rising or

post Christmas funk. The alcohol probably hadn’t

helped either. Scully had seemed a little out of

kilter lately anyway, it had started to gnaw at the

back of his subconscious.

Scully’s warm lips played tango with his own, paying

special attention to his pouty bottom lip, eventually

they came up for air, sun shining its benevolence on

them and not a cloud in the sky. February in Cornwall,

who would have thought the weather would be this kind.

It was perfect, the rolling hills and woods behind the

cottage were amazing and they felt like this was the

only little nook for miles around, and Scully’s hot

mouth eased away any fears he’d harbored in his heart

that she might be reconsidering their relationship.

He still couldn’t believe his luck that she had chosen

him at all.

The Ivy that hugged the whitewashed cottage walls sang

with the light breeze as if whispering “Hello”.

Mulder, content enough not to move for a few minutes

after what had been a long drive, burrowed further

into Scully’s neck, breathing in the Cherry scented

soap they had both been lathering themselves with in

the shower, the night before leaving Oxford. It had

tasted so good on her skin. Something south of

Mulder’s belly button twitched in remembrance. An

early birthday present he’d picked up for her in

Selfridges. He’d probably be buying a case before they

went home. The cottage break was her real present

though, and also doubled nicely as a romantic

Valentines getaway. Hopefully their latest and

unwelcome encounter with the demonic specter of Phoebe

Green would vanish into the ether of the beautiful

Cornish countryside and a weekend of serious passion.

With his nose buried in Scully’s fiery wind tussled

hair, all was right with the world…until he opened

one sleepy eyelid.

“Get down!!!!”



“…Shit! …”


The Seagull seemed to do a victory swoop above them

after scoring a direct hit on its unfortunate targets.

It prescribed a perfect arc in the sky and veered off

with a last cheerful shriek towards the sea.

Why Anton Chekhov had ever felt moved enough to name

one of his more famous plays after one of these

defecating feathered bastards, was beyond Mulder at

that point and found his hand twitching for the weight

of a gun that wasn’t there. Right now a Bee-bee might

come in useful.

They stared at each other for a second or two in utter

stupefaction, taking in the aftermath of the attack; a

truly astounding amount of greeny yellowish, foul

smelling substance the consistency of lumpy oatmeal,

that would make the ABH throw up in disgust,

generously pebble dashed all over their clothes,

clinging to their faces and hair, not to mention

spread all across the entire cherry wood veneer of the

car dashboard. Must have ricocheted at an impossible

angle for its payload to coat everything so

completely, Mulder mused, trying hard not to vomit.

“Yikes. Hot lunch, Scully?” He was truly stunned at

the sheer volume of crap that one bird could produce.

Had this been the States, he’d have thought that a

Condor had happened by and taken a dump on them.

“Look at this amazing new hair gel, I’ve discovered.

Umm.” He gingerly held his fingers up to his nose to

sniff at them.

” Mulder you are truly gross, do you know that?” She

scooped a lump of the slimy muck out of her eye socket

and vigorously shook it off her fingers, onto the

gravel. Mulder was wiping a blob off his nose with the

cuff of his sweater, spitting out what was smeared all

over his lips. Scully watched him use around 80% of

all his facial muscles in a mask of utter disgust.

” I live for moments such as these, don’t you?. Bang

goes the car rental deposit. I don’t even think Amway

products could cope with clearing up all this crap, or

the smell.”

Scully produced a tissue and began dabbing at Mulder’s

quivering lips. He looked a bit green. ” There. You

missed a bit. Just tell me there’s a hot shower or

bath and you packed my soap.”

” I did. There’s a Claw foot tub, candles, hot water.

Soft sheets…. ” She grinned goofily at him.

“There had better be Mulder, and don’t tell me this is

supposed to be lucky. That’s bullshit.”

“Actually its gull shit.”

“Mulderrrr…” What was it about the cadence of

her voice that spoke directly to his groin?

“Kiss me Scully.” He leered at her over the top of

the tissue. Puckering his lips. Waggling his eyebrows.

” Yuck, in your dreams, Mulder.”

” I promise to floss.” Her face pulled into a just-

sucked- a- lemon grimace in reply before making a

beeline for the trunk. He sucked in a breath, flicking

a lump of bird crap off his cowlick and followed her

out of the car. “Twice..?” he glanced back once at the

state of the car and wanted to cry.


Their footsteps crunched swiftly across the gravel in

their haste to get indoors, and out of range of any

more reinforcements that might turn up in true

Hitchcockian tradition. Mulder muttering something

under his breath that sounded a little like “muck’ but

not quite, as he literally kicked the door open. Rain

clouds were sifting in from the east and looked

ominous on the horizon. He considered it wasn’t

entirely beyond the realm of science fiction that the

vapid Phoebe could be an evil sprite from middle earth

in an latter-day incarnation, and sitting in her bat

cave somewhere with a rippling seeing- eye mirror like

the big boobed witch had in “Red Sonya” , and set this

unpleasant revenge on them in retaliation for Scully’s

display back in Oxford. Phoebe had always made a

startling Cawing noise –much like a constipated gull

during her noisier orgasms, he shuddered in

remembrance as he hefted the bags through the door.

Definitely a visual to banish forthwith and

concentrate on what he had planned with Scully.

The house was as beautiful inside as it was out; it

just smelled musty with disuse. It was so cozy, the

perfect love nest. Seascapes adorned the walls,

tasteful décor that extended to the quaint floral

print sofa that looked like a giant marshmallow ready

to swallow them up, it looked so comfortable. Scully

almost cried with delight when she spotted the huge

open log fire and the antique range in the kitchen.

The bedrooms revealed a king size canopy bed with

Fleur de Lillie cotton valence and bedspread. Mulder

thought how romantic it would be to cast a sea of

blood red Rose petals all over the white organza and

light candles all around the room. His heart did a

little unnatural twist thinking about him and Scully

lying side by side, the candlelight flickering in her

eyes and their skin painted with amber light, sipping

champagne. He just needed to distract her long enough

to put his plans into action. Perhaps while she was in

the bath. His long fingers closed over the felt

covered mound in his pocket, to reassure himself it

was still there. He let him smile despite his nervous


Professor Scott, who had always looked sagely upon

Mulder like a second son while at Oxford, had been

badgering him for years to take him up on his offer to

borrow the cottage and take a lady friend there. It

had only taken him the best part of two decades to

capitulate. He remembered fondly the knowing wink the

old buzzard had given him. Now slightly deaf and away

with the fairies, he’d taken one look at Scully and

surreptitiously pressed the keys into Mulder’s hands,

with shaky fingers that spoke of early Parkinson’s.

The old boy seemed to find it profoundly amusing when

Scully, who had taken just about all she could stand

from Phoebe’s obnoxious repartees of put downs, and

accidentally on purpose retaliated in very un- Scully

like fashion. Phoebe’s head became the sole

beneficiary of Scully’s virtuous generosity, in the

form of her untouched Fillet minion in sauce

Béarnaise. Much to the amusement of the assembled

thong. Professor Scott lit a cigar and puffed on it

with barely concealed amusement, taking in Scully’s

satisfied glow and Mulder’s open mouth astonishment as

the said Miss Green., all dripping fury and bug eyes,

had beaten a hasty retreat from the diner hall. Whose

bright idea had it been to seat her next to Scully?


The professor had leaned over and whispered in

Mulder’s ear.

“She’s got balls, my boy. Do yourself a favor and hang

onto her. Marry her for god sakes.” Mulder had nodded

dumbly. The old guy smiled at Phoebe’s retreating

maelstrom as he handed him the keys. ” Silly Cow,

little Miss “Bury me a Y shaped coffin”, we used to

call her.” He chuffed on his cigar, laughing


So here they were, in a tiny village nestled in the

downs a few miles from Camborne.

They both fought the urge to sneeze as they dropped

their bags. First order of that day. Divesting

themselves of their clothes. This wasn’t quite the

reason Mulder wanted to get naked, but making love

would be a whole nicer not smothered in itchy bird

shit. He could hear Scully putting the kettle on the

range for tea. Right now he needed to strip and clean

his teeth…several times with a wire scrubbing brush

if necessary. No way was his missing out on Scully’s

amazing lips tonight. He was rooting for tongue too if

all went well with his gift.

Hot water rained down on their entwined bodies like a

warm blanket, cleansing the last of the Seagull

surprise from their hair and skin. Scully’s arms were

around his waist, head nestled against his chest,

drawn there by the rapid beat of his heart, warmth and

the cherry sweet smell of his skin, enjoying the

feeling of being clean again and revived by the water

and being with man she loved more than life itself.

He held against his own chest like a second skin,

nuzzling her neck and breathing her whole essence into

his soul. He loved her so much he wanted to weep. She

looked flushed, wonderful.

“Scully, what exactly made you mad enough so that

Phoebe ended up wearing your meal?” His soft voice

reverberated in his chest as he softly rinsed the soap

from her hair. Her eyes rose to meet his hooded green

ones and she let her lips curl up in a knowing smile

before melding herself to his mouth. God she was

beautiful, all wet and warm in his arms, nipping

little kisses down his face and neck

“I….er guess I decided she had it coming, Mulder. I

think it was the wine stripping away my normal good

sense. Right at that moment, it seemed like a good

thing to do at the time.” He was massaging her scalp

now and she automatically leaned into his touch.

“You enjoyed it way too much.” His voice was like

warm honey as his laugh ticked the hair at her neck.

” She got your Irish up…admit it. ”

“Yes she did…I guess…are you feeling sorry for

her?” He chuckled; her fingers smoothing over his

waist, feeling his stomach ripple in amusement.

” No, I’m just thinking of the poor chef who sweated

blood and tears to produce such a fine feast, only to

have you dump it all over Phoebe’s head. I enjoyed

mine. ”

” I enjoyed that. The satisfaction of seeing that

sauce dripping lazily down her prissy little face was

almost orgasmic. I wasn’t all that hungry, her

proximity had quite ruined my appetite for one

evening. I did the only thing I could have done under

the circumstances…what? Don’t tell me you didn’t

get a kick out of it? I know you Mulder.”

Mulder grinned devilishly, sucking air through his

teeth like ice cream had just gone in a filling.

Scully poked his chest with a teasing finger.

” I cannot lie to you. … yeah. Kinda hot. But that’s

my department.”

“What G-Man?.”

“Orgasms. Agent Scully.” His eyes rolled about in a

sultry leer that made her toes melt. Scully laughed

running her fingers up and down Mulder’s back.

” So you liked me defending your honor, huh.” That

piqued his curiosity.

” C’mon baby what did she say?”

” I…. ?”

Just then, a huge thunderclap cracked the air over the

cottage, shocking them both. Something loud crashed in

the vicinity of the living room, the sound of glass

breaking startled them.

Shit!!!! What now ?, Mulder thought groping for their

bath robes.

“What was that Mulder?”

“Dunno sounded like the living room window. C’mon.”

Sure enough, a large oak branch had come through the

window. Rain, Glass and debris strewn everywhere.

Mulder sighed, quickly dressing, leaving Scully to

build the fire up while he found boards to nail up at

the windows. The storm outside raged on.

Half an hour later Mulder emerged back through the

door cold, soaked through and shaking from braving the

elements, which had turned decidedly nasty since

they’d arrived here. Howling wind came through door

with him. He just wanted to drop. He went to stand by

the heat of the log fire Scully had built up while he

fixed the window. Apart from freezing through to the

bone, he’d managed to drive a nail into his palm

instead of the board. He looked miserable as he held

his bloodied hand to his chest.

“Here le me see that, Mulder.” She took his hand in

her own , away from his chest to inspect it. He was

ice cold.

” Its Okay, just a scratch…. it will be fine. I

just want to get back in that hot shower. I’m frigging

freezing.” His teeth chattered just to make his

point. Their romantic evening seemed to be sliding

further and further onto the back burner.

” Its more than a scratch, Mulder, this will need a

few sutures. I’ll get my kit. Aren’t you due for

another tetanus about now? ” He cringed. Uh oh,

Doctor Scully rides again. Trust her to remember

something as anal as that.

” Umm…. Maybe…Its okay, I want to get out of these

wet clothes now. You can see to it after. ” Blue

daring eyes locked on defiant green. He looked so

gorgeous when he batted those huge lashes at her. The

little boy in him could always knock her dead.

“Okay,” she acquiesced with a tired sigh. “Go get

your shower and get warm G-man. Careful with that

wound though, rinse it thoroughly but not with very

hot water. I’ll get you some clothes, make you some

hot tea and we’ll do this after. But…” and there was

a hint of evil about her smile that Mulder felt right

down to his frozen marrow. “…It comes with a jab. I

don’t want you getting lockjaw on me.”

Mulder’s leer reached right up to his ears as his

mind skittered off on a divergent thought at her last

words. Scully caught the look and pursed her lips.

She’d been with him way too long to need to wonder

what mucky little innuendo he was thinking about.

Mulder ducked into the shower again, while Scully

decided a visit to the ladies room was in order first;

she followed Mulder to the bathroom and stopped,

checking the other doors off the passageway. Where the

hell was it?

” Mulder? Where’s the ah…?” She stopped short at

the site of his splendid naked ass vanishing behind

the shower curtain. ” The um….”

Hot damn.

” Little agent’s room? Its outside.” His voice came

back through a cascade of running water and steam. The

smell of cherries pleasantly availed her senses.

” What? You are joking right? ”

” Scully this is rural Cornwall, land of legend and

devilish little people called Knockers, the Cornish

Pisky, pasties, communing with land sea and sky, half

the charm of living in rustic places is the outside


” A Chokey… Mulder? You mean I have to go out in

that storm…. in all that wind. Okaaayyyyy then. ”

She thought she heard him giggle. ” Mulderrrr? ”

“Its either that or a bucket….”

” Oh…nicely put, Mr. sophisticated.” She huffed,

sounding whiney even to her own voice ” coming from

someone who has been known to relieve himself in the

sink.” She heard a wet sounding chuckle and the sound

of a thud on the shower floor that told her he’d

dropped his soap. A wet, bemused , adorable Mulderface

appeared around the curtain.

” I did NOT!!!”

“Oh yes you did. Frat boy…Frohicke has the

photographic evidence.”

“Where?…That little weasel…I” Scully flashed him a

kilowatt smile that smacked of victory. Too much for

his liking. He couldn’t remember the incident in

question fully, but just prayed to the gods the

dastardly deed hadn’t occurred at Margaret Scully’s.

His height challenged friend was going to be dead meat

when he got back to DC.

“Mulder, honey, please can we hurry.”

” How about you try the sink facilities, G- woman?..”

Her glare seared his retinas with their intensity. ”

But…. on second thoughts…since you are um…a

little gender..err height challenged for that

activity…I’ll just get dressed and come out there

with you. Find the mag-light, will ya, Scully. It’s in

my rucksack. Can you hand me my robe. Please?” The

soft terry-towel landed on his head.

Scully just stared at him, strangely lost for words,

tapping her fingers in an irritable tattoo on the

wall, trying to ignore the ache in her bladder as he

threw on his bathrobe, then went off to find the

torch, shaking her head and rolling her eyes.

The ‘Chokey’ was two thirds of the way up the garden,

since the path went up hill, they had a devil of a

job, just keeping hold of each other, keeping upright

as the wind blew around them in an angry tempest.

Nature felt really pissed off in this part of the

world, they both gasped as the wind took their breath

away, leaves and branches slapped at their skin.

Individually, they both wondered about catching

pneumonia, most likely at this rate. So much for the

romantic weekend. Mulder felt a suspicious tightness

in his chest that was starting to be very unfunny.

Scully darted inside the dilapidated wooden door,

leaving the latch on. Mulder shivered miserably,

aiming his mag-light beam around the gap left in the

opening. He was nearly knocked flat by Scully coming

back through a beat later.

“What? What is it.. Scully?” He fought to steady

himself against the chokey wall, while she just looked


” Mulderrr…it ….barfed up a rat…?”

“What?!!” Sheesh, you’d think some of the things

she sees at autopsy’s

” A …a rat! …horrible BIG rat! ” Her despair was

a shaky whisper fighting against the wind, half her

voice torn away by the elements, she swung back the

door and they both peered gingerly inside. Scully

grabbed hold of his ass. He bit down a gasp at her

fingernails digging in.

” Its was floating and it all welled up and slid over

the top. It’s flooding over. Its little eye looking up

at me. I almost sat on it.” Stifling an insane urge

to laugh, Mulder shone his torch at the troubling

sight before him.

This particular Chokey was not well. Something very

brown and nasty clung to every inch of the chipped

porcelain and something bubbled inside it like the

thing from the black lagoon, cheerfully burbling away

to itself like some hideous sucking swamp creature

from Mulder’s nightmares.


I know just how you feel, pal, thought Mulder as he

spied the unfortunate soggy rodent amidst the morass

of spilled ablutions. The smell made the chokey live

literally up to its name.


” Alas poor Krycek , I knew him well. So that’s where

you have been hiding buddy. Scully, um, I need a

bucket full of soapy water and bleach. The ah…

facilities seem to be blocked so we need to find the

drain cover. ” Mulder sighed, he was looking at his

third shower of the evening, his chest hurt and his

hand throbbed like a battered heart, but the worst

feeling of all was knowing with all reasonable

certainty, that a wild and pleasurable coupling (or a

good ole portion, as the locals called it,) was not on

the cards tonight.

After this, he was going to have a very hot,

alcoholically saturated cappuccino and collapse into

those inviting fluffy virgin white sheets, hopefully

with Scully to fuss over him. When he turned around,

Scully was scowling and trying not to eat a mouthful

of hair that kept plastering itself in her face. Last

time he saw that look of death frenzy; it had been

aimed at one infinitely annoying Scotland Yard

inspector, whose social skills hadn’t evolved much

since Cro-Magnon times. She trembled with disgust or

annoyance, he wasn’t quite sure which, but she

suddenly grabbed his flashlight and was scuttleling

back down the path toward the cottage again before he

could utter another word. The back of her robe

swishing in the mud behind her. The howling wind

snatched away all but her choicest words of profanity.

On the other hand, perhaps he’d be sleeping alone. He

hung his head in the rain. This did not bode well. A

single tear slipped down his face and merged with the

moisture already there. The heavens were crying with

him in empathy it seemed.

Getting the drain cover off was a feat in itself and

took the two of them a good few minutes of scorching

‘F’ words and broken fingernails to achieve their

objective. Mulder was wheezing by now and for the

first time in an hour, Scully looked at him with some

concern, but even that was short-lived. It put him in

mind of that first case back in Oregon. A graveyard in

the rain, Scully laughed that time. Beautiful, all wet

and exhilarated, their partnership gelling closer

together with each moment of growing trust even at

that early stage. They’d both been so young. He’d

loved her then too. Even back that far, his heart

reminded him, as he hefted back the metal cover as she

watched on. She really looked pissed.

” Go back inside and keep warm Scully, I can do this.

” Scully glared at him, shaking her head. The rain

came down like stair rods now. He wasn’t sure what

had stopped her jigging about but for a desperate

woman, she looked much calmer now. He bit down the

urge to comment about the sink again.

” Can’t it wait to the morning? I should look at your


Yep the sink had seen some action.

” Nah lets do this now, I don’t think Il be compos

mentis in the morning. I’m as stiff as Elvis now.”

She gave him a predictably filthy look.

Scully helped him pour the soapy concoction gingerly

into the drain hole. As it disappeared into the dark

abyss beneath them, they heard a swooshing noise going

the length of the drain. Hopefully that hit the spot.

Now for the second bucketful.. They heaved the bucket

into position, between them, fighting to stay upright

in the wind, all of a sudden the mag light went out.

Then two things happened simultaneously. Scully’s

fearful shriek drowned out Mulder’s heart stopping

yell, as some unknown heavy object cannoned into his

back and knocked him arms and legs akimbo flat across

the drain hole. The full force of the water from the

bucket shot up the drain like a bursting dam with a

horrible THUNK!. Scully and Mulder heard their voices

cry out in fearful union.


There was a short warning sound of ominous gurgling

before a huge torrent of water shot full force back

out the hole like a the old faithful geyser and

sprayed everything in its path with a dripping river

of crap. Scully fell backwards and Mulder cringed as

he heard a loud splash, an unhappy confirmation that

the love of his life had fallen in the pond he’d

spotted earlier. Something wet and slimy nudged his

face as he lay there breathless, and a even wetter,

raspy thing slid over his face, that stilled his heart

on the spot. A second or two later, it was thudding

again, he was panting at the frigid air,

dripping…smelling. Something rough almost took off a

few layers of his face. Yuck. He was up and out of the

hole then like a bat out of hell.

“What the…f..”

” Mulder?”

” Scully? ” He ambled towards her frightened voice,

the high level of it scaring him silly. Something was

following him…not just one thing, lots of things…

shitshitshit.. Every part of him ached as he spotted

the damp outline of Scully and he leaned forward to

grasp her hand.

Just then a blast of white light shone in their faces,

blinding them. Mulder arms automatically shot up to

his face to protect his eyes and he keeled over on top

of a struggling Scully trying to get up behind him,

her cold wet hands grabbing his ass cheeks. Normally

he would have enjoyed the sensation but their combined

inertia immersed them again in the icy pond; Mulder

spluttering and gasping as his face slid beneath the

murky water. They grappled against each other to sit

upright again. It was then they heard the hideous

laughter. …And something else. Something not quite


Once their eyes became accustomed to the light, they

both gasped at the sea of red eyes bearing down on

them. They flew into each other’s arms, clinging

tighter than conjoined twins as they both tried to

breathe and couldn’t.

Oh God! Did he just yell that out loud?

The light came nearer and became more intense, then it

suddenly swung upward into the driving rain, leaving

enough light to see the shape of a…man?

” Not God, my andsome boy, jus farmer Morley. Seems ye

found my erd, avee?” His stout body seemed to fold in

on itself as once again the maniacal laughter floated

through storm like a hyena doing something unnatural

to a corpse. ” Ohh let the cows owt oohhh ohhhh,

ooohhh?” More laughter bounced around them.

Mulder was not amused. Christ, the stupid old fart

sounded akin to that alien from ‘Galaxy Quest’ ” Now

the damn cows were joining in with their braying.

Scully was too shocked to do anything other than to

cling to Mulder like a limpet. This joker should be

damned glad they left their guns in DC.

Cows…lots and lots of cows. If he had his way they’d

be hamburger. His eidetic mind’s eye played out a nice

fat juicy steak stuck right on phoebe’s head, while

her big mouth opened and a mooing noise came out.. A

prickly tongue curled itself around Mulder’s ear with

a playful slurp just then. Ewweee.

” Whoever you are, you Kernowek redneck jackass, don’t

just stand there like an asthmatic warthog, get us out

of this F*&&^^%$$#$% pond!!!”

Just then a previously dumbstruck Scully, found

credence to her voice.

” Fu… ff.. f*^&%#%#$#$!!!!!”

” Not in front of the, Bovine

Scully….ahhhhcheeooooooo!!” Wheeze splutter.

A little while later.

Mulder lay naked and warm beneath the white comforter

of their huge bed. Scully lay beside him, hands

lovingly running through his damp hair. He groaned

softly as he leaned into her touch. There was a short

beep and Scully removed the thermometer from his ear.

” BEEP! Your body temperature is 102,4.” The scratchy

digital voice on Scully’s new state of the art med-

gadget declared all too cheerfully, kind of reminded

him of Joan Rivers.

Scully put a stethoscope bell to his chest, smiling

ruefully as she listened. Mulder leered goofily at her

through a cherry Nyquil haze. Sitting there in her

peachy bathrobe, hair wet and cheeks carrying just a

hint of wind kissed flush, she looked too darn hot to

be a doctor. But he was glad she was. He hoped while

she was listening to his heart, that she could hear

just how much he loved her right then. She leaned

forward and kissed him, signaling that Doctor Scully

had retired for the evening and his lover had

returned. Not that he had any strength to show her a

good time. He felt like he was floating up amongst the

old oak beams in the ceiling. Their lips met again,

briefly dueling for a better taste of each other.

” Its official G-man. You have bronchitis. A couple of

days in bed and you should be fine. ” Mulder was

rubbing her back in little circles through her fleece


” Does that mean I get to share them with you, Doctor


” Only if you’re a very good G-man.” She was making

that purring sound at the back of her throat again.

” Sorry Scully. So much for romance huh.” he tickled

that sensitive spot behind her ear.

” If you are a very good boy, you might get a massage

when you’re feeling better. But I think for now I just

prescribe hot chocolate and a couple of hot water

bottles. ”

” You’re the only hot thing I want baby” She almost

squealed as he sucked at her ear lobe. His arms

pulling her onto the bed until she straddled his legs.

“Hey, it’s the 14th today. Happy Valentine’s, Scully?

I love you. Baby.”

” Love you too, Mulder.” She looked radiant in the

candlelight flickering around the room. She looked

hesitant for a second then looked up her eyes ablaze.

It was a look he didn’t recognize, just a tiny nuance

that had him curious and made his heart beat like a

little birds.

” I got you a present, Scully…” Now his heart was

thudding in earnest as he rolled slightly to one side

and slid his arm slid his pillow, fingers closing over

the almost pulsating little box, or was that just his

own pulse. He’d never been so nervous in his life.

This, despite being ill, this was a wonderful setting.

He’d save the rose petals for another day and the

champagne. It would taste much better when his taste

buds returned. He had to do this before his heart

gauged it’s way out of his chest. …

“Mulder, I got you one too, its …er big.. Pretty..

um big. Can I give you the little one first,”

“Scully…I…you did? Er…sure. ” She slid her

hand over the covers of the bed and pushed a fist

sized package into his shaking palms. Her impossibly

blue eyes never leaving his. He was holding his

breath, heart one big ache and for a moment he thought

it had stopped altogether. After what seemed like an

eternity, he tore his eyes away from hers and looked

down, uncurling his fingers. Two seconds later, the

paper was off and he gulped when he revealed ….a


Mulder could not believe the high-pitched hysterical

laughter had come from his mouth. Scully seized both

his arms when she thought he might have some kind of

seizure and made him look at her. The little green

flecks in his eyes blew up in a riot, pupils dilating

madly in a way that shouted the hurt he felt. His lips

were trembling and his eyes held back a dam of tears

that made her smile fade.

” I um , I always wanted one of these, …err.. Every

boys wet dream…”

” Mulder, that prescription I was telling you about?

…That’s part of it. I have your real gift right here

the big one. Don’t cry…I’m going to rub this all

over your chest later. I’m sorry, please…love so

sorry. ” he sniffed, and choked out a sound that could

have been a laugh., eyes still holding a sadness she

hated herself for causing, already regretting the

silly gag. Something more serious was going on with

him and it shocked her to realize just how much she

misjudged this moment. Suddenly she felt scared.

Scared for both of them, the stress of the last few

days, the strangeness she felt inside that robbed her

of her normal equilibrium. His beautiful eyes held her

fast. She felt her breath hitch as she pulled a long

slim beautifully wrapped package from the deep pocket

of her robe, took his fingers and closed them over it.

His eyes were closed but his face was a mask. She

could hear his heart beat through the ambient light.

As loud as the storm in her mind and in every breath

she took with him, both of them now breathing in sync.

” This is the big present?” he bit his bottom lip as

she nodded. His fingers turning it over in his hands,

knuckled almost white, he was gripping it so tightly.

Scully gulped back a threatened tear.

” Its big, very big, trust me on this. The biggest

thing …”

” Is it a tooth brush? ” he made no move to take off

the paper. Something in her eyes made him start

tearing at it gently, almost in slow motion.

“Scully…?” His eyes changed colors so suddenly that

it made her gasp, it was that second she realized that

his mind has pulled into all the right places like a

Rubik’s puzzle and they were both staring down at his

hands, … the slim plastic pen shaped device that

showed two blue lines in two separate little windows.

They came together by consensus, arms tightening

around each other. Mulder’s face was suddenly wet and

from that split second, it was finally real to her.

The other half of her, the other soul that joined with

her to make this miracle merged as one and they

finally basked in the healing warmth of a supernova.

” Scull…… bab..god baby!! Scully?

You’re pregnant…?oh god.” The rest of his emotional

wheezing got lost beneath her hair as he buried

himself against her and sobbed his heart out. She

nodded her head, suddenly laughing and crying , trying

to do the impossible and pull him closer.

After everything they’d lost after all they had been

through, all the pain, the fear and anguish, vaporized

in an instant. The miracle of their unborn child had

already begun to heal them.

He came up for a strong heaving breath. Chest tight

with emotion and they kissed at each others tears,

their fingers at each others temples. When he spoke

again he was gasping for air but she’d never seen him

so alive..

” I love you…so much.”

” I love you Mulder, …we love you.” her hands left

his face momentarily, and pulled his to caress their

unborn child. ” Happy Valentine, Mulder. I love you so

so much. I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want

you. I wouldn’t have thought it was possible to feel

what I feel for you.”

” Your are my Heart scully, my life. No one could ask

for such a wonderful present as this. Thank you. So

Much…….Oh my GOD” She startled at his stricken


” What? …Mulder, are you alright.?” She was too

busy worrying about his sudden hacking cough to

notice the little felt box he was pressing into her



” Almost forgot. Guess…now…” Choke …cough ”

this will come in handy. ”

” Mulder!!! Oh…”

“Scully will you do me the profound honor of becoming

my wife?.” his hands slid nervously to their child

safe in her belly. ” mother of my child.” Taking her

left hand in his own, eyes never leaving hers, he

leaned back, pushing the ring on her third finger. A

perfect fit.

” Oh Mulder. You know damn well I will!!! You have

the most amazing timing.”

” ummmm let me show you timing baby.” For the rest of

the night they lay together, never more than a breath

away. Despite his illness, they consummated their

engagement and their good news . Several times.



” Yeah baby?” His mouth had started that slow erotic

trail behind her ear again and she shivered.

” I hate to ask this but……..Did you close the soft

top on the car last night?”

” OH F^^%%&*)K!!!”

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