My Funny Valentine

Title: My Funny Valentine

Author: Britt Mulder


Date: 02-02-03

Category: MSR

Spoilers: None

Rating: PG

Archive: Anywhere

Disclaimer: Fox owns them.

Summary: Scully has a secret admirer.

Thanks to my dear friends Marcella and Debra for their beta.

Scully’s Apartment

6:00 AM

Friday, February 14 2003

The first rays of the morning sun streamed through Scully’s

blinds and across her bed. She lay awake in bed and could feel

the warmth from the sunshine through her comforter. Scully

sighed contently with a faint smile playing on her lips in

remembrance of what day it was. It was February fourteenth,

Valentines Day. It was the day of love when men wooed woman

with chocolates and flowers.

Scully crawled from her cozy bed and made her way to the

kitchen. She put on a pot of coffee and went to retrieve the

morning newspaper. Opening the front door, she was taken aback

by what she found. A long white box with a red ribbon tied

around it sat neatly by the morning paper. She picked up the

box and shut the door without giving the newspaper a second


Scully sat down on her sofa and untied the ribbon wrapped

around the box. Her face lit up with a grin as she opened the

box. Inside lay a dozen red roses. She picked up the card that

was attached to the roses. Her eyebrows lifted as she read

over the card.

“From your secret admirer.” She read out loud.

Well, there is only one person this could be, Mulder.

7:30 AM

Scully exited her apartment building. Dressed in a red v-neck

shirt with a black dress coat and skirt that was an inch or

two above her knee. She had decided to show Mulder a little

leg today; after all it was Valentines Day.

“What the…” Scully muttered as she stopped to study the

object on her car parked a few feet away.

A fuzzy brown teddy bear holding a red laced heart sat on the

hood of her car. Scully walked up to her car and looked around

before picking up the teddy bear.

‘Be My Valentine.’ It read across the tiny heart the teddy

bear held.

“Mulder is really into Valentines Day.” Scully mused out loud

as she hopped in her car and drove off.

FBI Headquarters

8:00 AM

Scully walked into the basement office already in high

spirits. The office was empty but a bag of Krispy Kreme donuts

sat on Mulder’s desk showing that he had been here. Scully

walked over to her desk and put her briefcase down. She was

shocked to see a heart-shaped box of chocolates sitting on her

desk. She picked up the envelope that lay on top of the


“Meet me at Naples Italian Restaurant at eight o’clock

tonight. With love, your Valentine.” Scully read to herself.

Just then Mulder strolled through the door carrying a mug of

hot coffee.

“Morning Scully!” He said taking a seat behind his desk. He

took a sip of his coffee before placing it on his desk. When

Scully didn’t respond he looked up with a confused

_expression. Scully stood there gazing at him lovingly with a

Cheshire Cat grin across her face. Mulder was surprised by

what he saw.

Scully walked over to him alluringly and wrapped her arms

around Mulder’s neck. She began to pepper kisses below his

ear. Mulder didn’t know why he was getting all this attention,

but liked it.

“Hmm, Happy Valentines Day Mulder.” Scully purred into

Mulder’s ear. A then squirming Mulder went cold still.

“Oh, shit.” He mouthed. His eyes went big as saucers. Scully

was too busy nipping at Mulder’s neck to catch his little


“Thanks for the roses, the teddy bear, and chocolates.” Scully

said nuzzling Mulder’s ear. Mulder swallowed hard.

“I never knew you were such a romantic.”

“Um, well…surprise.” Mulder stumbled out.

“Wait till you get your Valentines present tonight.” Scully

whispered in a husky voice. Mulder laughed nervously as he

jumped out of his chair.

“Mulder?” Scully said looking at him with a puzzled look.

Mulder scratched the back of his head trying to come up with a

reason to leave the office.

“Um, uh…I forgot something and um I need to go get it.” He

said motioning with his thumb toward the door.

“What is it?” Scully asked. Mulder had to think a minute.

“Um, I forgot I have to pick up some laundry at the dry

cleaners.” He said walking toward the door.

“Mulder wait!” Scully called out

“Yeah?” He said poking his head back through the door.

“See you tonight.” Scully said with a mega watt smile. Mulder

nodded his head returning the smile then disappeared. Once he

was in the elevator he began to really wonder who had sent

Scully the gifts. A twinge of jealousy coursed through him.

“I’m going to give Scully a Valentines Day she will never

forget.” Mulder vowed.

Naples Italian Restaurant

8:00 PM

Scully stepped on the plush red carpeted floor of the ritzy

Italian restaurant dressed in a silky black dress with strappy

high heels and a shawl draped over her shoulders. Her auburn

hair was done up with a few wisps of curly red tresses left

down. The dim lights and glowing candles on each table gave

the restaurant a cozy atmosphere.

Scully walked up to a well-dressed man who stood at a polished

wood podium. “Excuses me sir, a Fox Mulder is expecting a Dana


Scully waited as the man check the roster in front of him.

“I’m sorry Madame there is no Fox Mulder here.”

“Are you sure?” Scully said in confusion. The man looked down

at his roster one more time.

“Ah, wait a minute. There is one Melvin Frohike expecting a

Dana Scully.”

Scully froze in shock staring at the waiter. “Frohike.” She

squeaked out through a suddenly dry throat.

“Yes, Madame. Now if you will please follow me your party is

waiting.” The man said starting toward the dining area. Scully

stood frozen for a minute before following the man.

He led her past many tables blanketed by white tablecloths.

She caught sight of Frohike dressed in a nice tux at a table

in front of a painting of Italy. Frohike spotted Scully and

stood, straightening his tie as she approached.

“Agent Scully you look gorgeous as always.” Frohike greeted

her with an enormous grin on his face.

“Frohike, what a surprise.” Scully said with a laugh.

Frohike got down on one knee making Scully worry for a minute

before he grabbed her hand giving it a kiss. He pulled out a

rose he had hidden behind his back. “Happy Valentines Day.”

“Oh, Frohike thank you.” She said smiling as she took the


“Um, hum.” The well-dressed man cleared his throat. Holding

out a chair indicating for Scully to take a seat. Frohike and

Scully both took their seats. “Your waiter will be with you

shortly.” The man said before walking off.

“I hope you liked the gifts I got you.” Frohike said gazing at

Scully admiringly.

“Yes, I did. That was sweet of you, but you really shouldn’t

have.” Scully said.

“Who couldn’t resist showing their love for such a beautiful

woman on Valentines Day!” Frohike confessed. He picked up a

bottle of wine. “Wine?” He asked. Scully held out her glass

for him to fill.

“I can think of someone.” She said taking a sip of her wine.

“Don’t tell me Mulder didn’t get you anything.” Frohike asked.

“I’m afraid he didn’t.” Scully said with a sigh.

“That horse’s ass!” Frohike exclaimed. “Want me to knock some

sense into him for you?” He offered eagerly.

“No, but thanks Frohike.” Scully laughed. “Don’t worry he

won’t get off easily.”

“Mulder has always been the kind of guy who couldn’t show his

true feeling. I mean look how long it took you two to finally

get together!” Frohike explained.

“Yeah, that is true, but I haven’t always been so open

either.” Scully said picking up a bread stick from the basket.

“You wouldn’t believe how many bets Langly, Byers, and I made

on how long it would take you two to do the naked pretzel.” He

said before taking a sip of his wine.

“Frohike!” Scully looked at him with surprise.

“Hey, it was Langly’s idea.” He lamented.

“Mulder and I have always had this unspoken love between us.

Even before we got together we always had this bond.”

“Well, about that bond thing. I think here is something you

should know.” Frohike said leaning closer to Scully.

“What?” Scully whispered in question.

“Mulder has always been jealous of the bond between you and

I.” Frohike said hunched down close to Scully. Scully laughed

with amusement.

“Oh, Frohike.” She said cupping his face in her hands and gave

him a peck on the cheek. The little man’s face turned as red

as the rose he gave her. “You’re my funny Valentine.”

Dana Scully’s Apartment

10:00 PM

Scully got off the elevator and walked down the hall to her

apartment. After leaving the restaurant she had tried to reach

Mulder, but couldn’t get a hold of him. She guessed he was

hiding from her since he had forgotten it was Valentines Day.

Scully planned for him to write the case reports for the next

three months as payback. She reached for the keys in her purse

and opened the front door, then dropped her purse in total


Her living room was bathed in candlelight and the faint music

of Frank Sinatra’s ‘My Funny Valinetine’ floated through the

air. A picnic of strawberries, whip cream, chocolate cake,

lobster, and wine was spread out nicely across the coffee

table. Scully had to cover her mouth to keep from bursting

into laughter at the sight on her sofa.

Mulder lay poised out on the sofa clad in nothing but a pair

of white boxers with little red hearts on them and a rose in

his mouth.

“Oh Mulder”, Scully sighed. ” You’re no Melvin Frohike.”

The End

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