Title: SILENT NIGHT
Author: CallRachel
Classification: V, mild A
Rating: PG for adult situations
Keywords: MSR, Holiday Angst
Disclaimer: The characters of Fox Mulder, Dana
Scully, Walter Skinner and Maggie Scully belong
to 20th Century Fox,1013 Productions, and Chris
Carter.
Summary: Musings of an insomniac on Christmas Eve.
Written for the IMTP VS10 holiday special.
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SILENT NIGHT
By CallRachel (callrachel2000@yahoo.com)
It was snowing.
Insomnia had been a boon companion since his early
youth, and he knew the geography of his nighttime
apartment almost better than he knew it in the light.
The metallic ticking that sounded like water dripping
was a heating duct. If he pressed his ear to the wall
behind his bed, he could just hear Mrs. Chavez’s
radio, tuned softly to ’40’s dance music. And always,
faint and far, he could hear the traffic, the muted
hum punctuated with occasional horns and occasional
metallic booms when the horns didn’t work and fender
met fender.
But tonight the night sounds of traffic were muffled,
and he leaned his forehead against the cool glass,
watching the white motes of fat, feathery snow drift
down under the streetlight, tracking with a fingertip
the twin trails of a single car’s track through the
white world. Hegal Place was asleep, all but for Fox
Mulder.
Insomniacs cope; he knew the drill: get out of bed,
don’t toss and turn, take a pill, distract yourself
with a book or some not-too-interesting television
show, set up a bedtime routine. Don’t look at the
clock.
Don’t watch the years ticking down.
It was easier when he was alone. Scully’s presence in
his bed made it hard to get up when he couldn’t
sleep. The television often woke her, even with the
sound turned almost off, and she took it personally
when she woke to find him on the couch, having
finally drifted off to the lullaby of some
infomercial. And of course, there was comfort in
holding her warm weight in his arms, cradling her
head on his shoulder. But still, the trickle of her
breath against his skin was like a fall of sand
through an hourglass, one moment gone, another, and
another…
He closed his eyes briefly, crushing that thought
down into the bad-thoughts-box and finally slamming
the lid on the tag ends and corners that kept trying
to emerge. He wondered sometimes what would happen
when the box was too full, but that wondering
itself would have to be squashed inside, and so he
skittered away from the thought, instead.
Distraction, distraction…
The cat was back.
He smiled as he watched it trotting purposefully into
the lane, rising to the top of a whitecapped trash
can as if by levitation. There it sat, daintily
washing its face, paying particular attention to its
ragged ears. He’d seen it first a year or so
ago, a brash young Turk of a cat then, striking fear
into the black hearts of rat-gangs for blocks
around. He’d heard, and once even witnessed, battles
for territory; that time, he’d crept down to the
alley with milk and a can of tuna, and stood
by just out of flight range while the battered cat
had inhaled his victory meal. That scuffle and others
had made the cat cautious, and where he had once been
sleek and bold, now he was lean, muscular, watchful.
But still master of the alley, Mulder was glad to
see. He touched a fingertip to the glass as if he
could stroke the round head, and the cat looked
suddenly up at him for a long, breathless moment
before it vanished silently among the cans.
Suddenly anxious for no reason he could fathom,
Mulder turned back into the room. A Christmas tree,
aggressively artificial, stood on the coffee table,
four presents under it. He ticked them off in his
mind: single-malt scotch for Skinner, a knitted
blanket for Maggie Scully, pearl earrings for Scully,
and something he thought was probably a sweater for
him. Nice presents. In – he peered at his watch in
the darkness – in six hours, at nine, they would open
half these gifts, then get in the car and take
Maggie’s gift to Baltimore. Skinner’s would wait
until they were back in the office, a day or
two later. A day or two wouldn’t matter. The scotch
would be that much older, that’s all. He stared at
the packages, telling them over and over: liquor,
blanket, earrings, sweater, liquor, blanket,
earrings-
Nobody needed these things. He hated giving liquor to
people; Maggie had enough blankets to warm the
neighborhood, and Scully rarely wore jewelry. He
himself had ten sweaters, assuming that’s what his
gift was.
Like gold, frankincense and myrrh – what they’d
needed was food, shelter, a midwife, and nobody had
offered any of that.
Abruptly, he turned to the kitchen, poured a bowl of
milk and opened a can of salmon, pulled on a pair of
sweats from the laundry hamper, and put the food in a
box with a towel from the bottom of the bathroom
cupboard.
The snowflakes touched his back and shoulders like
wet feathers, and he hurried to the mouth of the
alley, setting the food out and putting the box back
in the lee of a boarded-up doorway, out of the wind.
Then he backed away, crouched in the snow, and
waited.
He was wet through, drops turning to ice in his hair,
and shivering when the cat emerged. It walked
majestically, as if it owned the alley, and Mulder,
too, and Mulder wasn’t at all sure it was mistaken.
Keeping a careful eye on him, it approached the
food, sniffed, crouched cautiously and began to eat,
forgetting, after a few seconds, that it was master
of the universe, and ravenously devouring the milk
and fish. Mulder stayed stock-still, not even wiping
the water that ran down his face, the warm and the
cold, as he saw the lean belly swell. This close, he
could see that the sleek coat had lost its luster,
that there was a patch of stiff fur on the back that
spoke of blood matting a wound.
The food gone, the cat sat for a long moment, licking
its chops and staring with wide yellow eyes at
Mulder.
He stared back, still unmoving, as the cat once again
washed its face. When it was done, it rose,
stretched, and turned toward him, squeezing its eyes
shut briefly before it vanished into the shadows.
Mulder hoped it would find the box a safe place to
sleep.
“Merry Christmas,” he whispered, and thought, as he
collected the empty bowl, that he heard the soft
rumble of a purr.
* * *
End