Ebay Wars

TITLE: eBay Wars

Author: Kathy Foote

Summary: Mulder and Scully are unknowingly bidding on the same auction item

Rating: PG

Category: MSR, Humor

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, these characters are the property of Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and Twentieth Century Fox. I wish they were mine, but they aren’t.

Archive: Two weeks exclusive with VS12, then anywhere is

fine by me


Mulder and Scully were opening gifts on Christmas morning.

Boxes and ripped wrapping paper were strewn all over the floor.

They had had a wonderful morning together opening gifts. She was in her satin pajamas and robe wearing her new white socks embossed with little green alien heads. He was wearing sweat pants and his new t-shirt with “Area 51 Travel Agency” printed on it.

There was one last gift under the tree and it was for Mulder.

Scully retrieved the small box and, with a huge smile on her

face, gave it to him. He opened the box and found that it

contained a baseball. The baseball he had told Scully about last month. It was an autographed baseball from the 2000 world champion Yankees. He stared at the baseball in total shock. He had showed the ball to Scully on eBay and asked her to get it for his Christmas present, but she had scoffed at the idea, saying absolutely not. Obviously, she had been kidding. Mulder remembered the moment clearly as he continued to stare at the ball. He had wanted the ball very badly and since she wasn’t going to get it for him, he had tried to buy it himself, but someone kept outbidding him…


Mulder was in the upstairs office using his computer, while

Scully had set up her laptop downstairs. You had to love that

wireless router the guys put in. She could get on the Internet using her laptop from any room in the duplex, even the bathroom. However, Scully assured him she would never need to use it in there. The wireless router allowed them to use their own computers to gain access to the Internet and their email at the same time…no waiting.

Mulder was bored and had been surfing around the Internet,

checking out some of his usual UFO related haunts; MUFON,

UFO Research Center, and the center for UFO studies. There

were no big sightings to report. He did find a site called the

UFO Store where he found a great pair of socks for Scully’s

Christmas present with alien heads on them. She would only

wear them around the house, but he liked them.

He tired of the UFO sites and decided to make a stop at eBay. He liked to check the site every now and then to see what kind of stuff was up for sale. The Gunmen were always raving about the great deals they had gotten on electronics there. Mulder had bought a few things, but never elec-tronics; mostly books and movies. There were a few select topics that he liked to search.

‘Elvis’ was his favorite. He had always been a huge fan and he loved seeing what kind of stuff people would try to sell on



OWNED TCB’ NECKLACE – $1,000,000.00

Wow! He would have to tell Scully to buy him that for

Christmas. Oh wait…he could also get the matching TCB ring

for $152,000. Would anyone actually bid on that? he

contemplated, laughing to himself.

Next, he searched for ‘Knicks’. Hey, he wondered if Scully

would like tickets to a Knicks game for Christmas. Well,

maybe not for Christmas, but for the heck of it. Scully would

like a trip to New York for just the 2 of them; nice hotel,

shopping, eating, AND a Knicks game. Someone was selling 2 tickets to the Knicks vs Lakers on 2/28. He quickly checked his calendar and found that February 28th was a Monday night.

That could work. They could make a long weekend of it,

driving up Saturday and returning on Tuesday. He would have to think about it.

Next, he searched for ‘Yankees’.

1928 New York Yankees Baseball Team Panoramic

Photo – $100,000.00

He judged that item was too rich for his blood. As he paged

through the items, he found something that caught his eye. A baseball from the 2000 world series that had been signed by some of the players, including Derek Jeter and Roger Clemens.

It was only $99. He had to have it. He ran down the stairs,

shouting ‘Scully’ the whole way.

She could hear Mulder frantically calling her name. Concerned, she went to see what the commotion was about and practically ran into him. He could barely speak.

“Scully! Scully! I know what I really want for Christmas!” he

enthusiastically told her.

“Mulder…that’s what you said about the Playstation 2, the new video games, the Outer Limits on DVD, and about a dozen other things”, she replied exasperated.

“No…this is different. I just saw it on eBay. It’s a baseball

autographed by the 2000 world champion New York Yankees. I’ll show you.”

He snatched up her laptop and brought up the auction item.

Handing the laptop back to her, he pointed to the screen.


She studied the display, unable to believe that he really wanted an autographed baseball. As she looked up at his expectant face, she could tell that he really did want it. He had always been a big Yankees fan and it was only $99. She came to the conclusion that she would try and buy it; she didn’t want him to know. It would be a big surprise when she gave it to him on Christmas morning.

“I am _not_ going to buy you that baseball. Besides, I have

already bought your present.” She lied, hoping to throw him



“No way!” She switched the screen back to her report and

resumed her work.

Dejected, Mulder left and returned upstairs.

When she was sure he was gone, she switched back to eBay and put in a bid of $99. Now she would have to wait 1 day for the auction to end.

Mulder was sulking upstairs. He had really wanted that ball and it was only $99. After much contemplation, he decided, if she wouldn’t buy it for him, he would buy it himself. It would be his Christmas present to himself. With the decision made, he returned to eBay to bid on the ball. Someone had placed a bid on the ball. He wanted to see who had placed the bid, but it was a private auction, so he was unable to see the ID of his competition. He really didn’t want to lose the opportunity to possess that ball, so he placed a bid of $105. Satisfied when the screen showed his bid as the current high bid, he resumed surfing the net. Maybe he would check out hotels in the New York area for February.

Scully was in the middle of editing her report, when she got an email notification. When she accessed her mail, she found an outbid notice from eBay. Someone had already outbid her for the baseball. She knew it would happen, but not so soon. She navigated to the item and found a current high bid of $105. The bidding history was hidden, so she had no idea who had outbid her for the ball. She would fix that guy and entered a bid of $125. When the screen refreshed, she saw her bid was the current high bid. That ought to do it. Scully went back to work on her report.

Mulder was reviewing the latest UFO reports for November at the MUFON National UFO Reporting Center, when he got an email notification. He had already been outbid for the baseball.

Damn. Another person or persons wanted his ball, although not as much as he did. He accessed the eBay item. The bid was now up to $110. He entered a new bid of $115, but was

immediately outbid. What? He re-entered his bid at $120 and again was immediately outbid. Shit! He’d fix that. He entered a bid $150 and finally got the message that he was the highest bid at $130.

Scully saw the “You Got New Mail” message popup on her

screen. She got another outbid notice from eBay. Whoever was bidding on this item must be online right now. She went to eBay and found the current bid was $130. She tried several higher bids, never managing to get the high bid. She was trying to decide whether or not to keep bidding. Mulder better really love this ball, she thought, as she entered a bid of $200. That had been the amount that outbid her op-ponent, because now she was the highest bidder. Noticing that it was getting late, she logged off her laptop, so that she could get dinner started. She would check it out again later.

Mulder got another email notification. Outbid again? Dammit!

He was not going to lose that ball. The bid was now up to

$155. He first entered $175 and then jumped to $200, each time being outbid. He sat back and contemplated his situation. He really wanted that ball, but the bid was already at $200. Should he bid more or give up? He paced the room considering what to do. How bad did he want that ball? He deliberated a moment and decided…really bad. He moved back to the computer and entered a bid of $300. Finally, he got the notice that he was the highest bid at $205. Whew! He wondered how high that other guy was going to go? He still thought $300 was a great price for that ball, but of course, for Mulder, the ball was priceless.

Soon Scully called him to come help with dinner, so he logged off.

Before turning in, Scully wanted to check the eBay auction one more time. She told Mulder she was going to check her email once more before bed, while he was in the bathroom getting ready for bed. After logging on, the first thing she saw was…you got mail! She was outbid again. “Dammit!” she shouted into the empty room.

Hearing her swear from inside the bathroom, Mulder asked if

she was OK.

“I’m fine…I just…hit my foot…on …_something_”, she

replied. She was totally focused on the auction and could not be distracted. She had to finish this before Mulder came out of the bathroom. The current bid was listed at $205. She placed a bid of $250 and was notified that she was outbid. She tried $300 and was again outbid. How high was too high of a price for that ball? Scully didn’t know, but she knew he really wanted it and she determined to get it for him. She finally decided $400 was her limit, and placed the bid. Whew! She figured the other guy must not have bid higher than $300, because the current bid jumped to $305.00. Satisfied, for now, she logged off and waited for Mulder to get out of the bathroom.

When he finished, Scully got in the bathroom to get ready for

bed. He hurried to the other room to log back onto the

computer and check out the auction. He didn’t even bother

checking his email, but went directly to the eBay item. He had been outbid again. He debated on outbidding the person again or waiting until the auction was closer to the end, since it was not over until 12:00pm the next day. If he kept outbidding this person for the next 14 hours, the price could easily be $1000.00.

He concluded that it would be best to wait until the auction was almost over before placing a new bid. He shutdown the

computer and hurried back to the bed before Scully came out

The next day, after cleaning up from breakfast, Mulder said he had some work to do and disappeared into the upstairs office.

Scully was glad, saying she had work too. They both logged

onto their respective computers and went straight to eBay.

Scully was pleased to see that she was still the top bidder.

There was still 2 hours left in the auction, so she would have to keep checking back. She passed the time by continuing to work on the report she had started the previous day.

Mulder was pleased to see that his plan had worked. He hadn’t outbid the other guy, so the price had not gone up. It was still sitting at $305. Now, he had to time this just right. His plan was to wait until 2 or 3 minutes before the end and then raise the bid.

At 11:57am, he made his move. He entered a bid of $350.

When he pressed the submit button, the message “you have been outbid” was his response. No!! He quickly entered another bid…this time $400. Again he was outbid. SHIT! This can’t be happening! Running out of time, he went all out and entered a bid of $500. Finally, he was high bidder at $405.

Scully was going to kill him when she found out how much he

had spent. He couldn’t think about the ramifications right now; he had to win it first. He just sat there hitting the refresh key every second, waiting to see if he was going to be outbid. He would need to know immediately so he could enter a new bid before the end of the auction, which was ending in 1 minute and 45 seconds.

Scully had been monitoring the item at eBay for the last 10

minutes. She was still the highest bidder. She was getting

excited about the prospect of winning. She thought $305 was a lot to pay for a baseball, but not compared to how much Mulder would love the ball. Refreshing the screen every few seconds, she finally saw the price change to $405. Damn! Sneaky bastard had outbid her and with only 1 minute 45 seconds left. She had to hurry. She immediately entered a bid of $450.00 and was outbid. Oh my God, she could not lose it now…not after all this time. She quickly entered $500.00 and submitted the bid. Outbid again!!! The time was down to 1 minute.

This was getting ridiculous. Could she really pay over 500.00

for a stupid baseball? It was just a ball with some signatures on it. She pictured Mulder’s face when he opened the item on Christmas and came to the conclusion that she could. She

entered $1000 and prepared to hit submit. She was going to

wait until the last possible second to submit the bid. That way she couldn’t be outbid.

Mulder was impatiently hitting the refresh key, watching the

countdown to the auction ending…30 seconds. The bid had

gone up, but stopped at $500.00. Maybe the other guy decided to quit at $500. The sound of his finger hitting the key sounded like a ticking time bomb. A time bomb set to explode in 30 seconds.

Suddenly the phone rang and Mulder almost jumped out of his skin. There was no way he was leaving his computer to answer that phone. “Sculleeee! Can you get that phone? I’m…busy!”

She heard him yell down from upstairs about the phone. There was no way she was leaving her computer to answer that phone.

“No…I’m busy too. It’s probably for you anyway.”

“Fine”, they said in unison, the answering machine would get it.

Scully waited patiently until she figured there were about 10

seconds left in the auction and pressed the submit button. The screen changed to show that she was the highest bidder at $505.00. The auction ended 5 seconds later with her being the winner. “Yes!!!” she shouted in triumph. She felt like she had won a war. She wanted to celebrate but she couldn’t tell Mulder why, obviously. She logged off her computer and went to get her and Mulder a victory beer.

Mulder pressed the refresh key again and the screen changed to show that the auction had ended. He practically crumpled when he saw the winning bid of $505.00. After all his work and planning, he had lost. He had really wanted that ball, but obviously so did someone else. Disgusted, he shut down his computer and sat there pouting…


Mulder was holding the ball reverently, turning it in his hands

so he could see all the signatures. He was in a world of his


“Mulder? Earth to Mulder…”

“Huh? Oh…uh…sorry Scully. I…I have something to confess.”


“Well, you know I really wanted this ball…and you said you

wouldn’t buy it…and…I believed you, so I…I tried to buy it

myself.” Scully raised her eyebrows upon hearing his

confession. She had an idea of what coming. He explained

how he had tried to buy the ball but was constantly being outbid by some unknown person.

“You were the other guy?” Scully finally asked.

“Well…yeah, I guess so…sorry about that,” he answered

sheepishly lowering his eyes to look at the ball. After a few

ments, he raised his face to look at Scully, breaking out into

a wide grin. “But…I really, really, _really_ love this ball.

It means so much more to me to know that you went to so much trouble to get it.” He embraced her in both arms. “Thanks, Scully.”

“Merry Christmas, Mulder.” Scully said as she hugged back.

She was so glad she had managed to get it for him. It was

obvious that he really liked it, but in the back of her mind she

thought, “For the price I paid, you had better like it.”

The End

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