Category Archives: Season 12

The Bicoastal, Bilocated, Fly-By-Murder Case

The Bicoastal, Bilocated Fly-By Murder Case

Author: Martin Ross

Category: Columbo/X-Files crossover

Rating: PG-13 for language

Summary: When America’s top horror writer

scares up a murderous doppelganger, Lt. Columbo

summons Special Agent Fox Mulder to help bring

a supernatural killer to justice.

Disclaimer: I dedicate this paean to the

inverted mystery to Chris Carter and Mssrs.

Levinson and Link, the creators of two of my

favorite investigators.

Vista del Sol Hotel

Beverly Hills

9:34 p.m.

Lt. Columbo meditated as the M.E.’s people

hauled away the remains of America’s departed

New Crown Prince of Horror (New York Times).

The homicide detective gazed across the now-

deserted deck of the Vista del Sol’s Olympian

pool at the hotel’s luxurious lobby, his eyes

suddenly alighting.

Raincoat flapping, he corralled the distressed

hotel manager, who’d been simultaneously

mourning the loss of one of his favorite

celebrity guests and contemplating how he’d

communicate the attending unfavorable publicity

to the Vista’s German-French ownership

consortium.

“Mr. Martel?” Columbo inquired, cautiously. The

manager looked up — the odd little policeman

already had asked about his $76 handmade,

imported Italian silk designer tie. “You said

Mr. Prinze had had dinner in the hotel

restaurant about an hour or so before he fell

into the pool.”

Martel blinked away his corporate anxieties.

“Yes, yes, that’s right, Lieutenant. The

maitre’d said he had the canard l’orange,

orange duck, our specialty du jour.”

Columbo looked baffled by what seemed a litany

of French. “Ah, yes, sir. Well, let me ask you

this.”

“Absolutely.”

“See, I had to be in court today, and I didn’t

get a chance to grab any lunch or nothing. You

guys serve chili? Cause I could sure go for a

bowl right about now.”

Martel paled. “I’m afraid today’s soup du

specialte is a chilled cream of cucumber with

tarragon.”

“Ah.” Columbo nodded sadly. “Bacon

cheeseburger?”

“I believe there’s a Jack-in-a-Box a few blocks

away, Lieutenant.”

“Hey, Columbo!” The pair turned toward Sgt.

Kramer’s gravelly voice. He was standing near

the mouth of the Vista del Sol’s winding stone

drive with a stout middle-aged woman in

brilliant chartreuse jogging regalia. “Got a

witness here, thinks she mighta seen the perp!”

Columbo put his hands to his mouth. “Just a

second, Sarge!” He returned to Martel. “You

know, chili’s real popular. You put it on the

menu, you might be surprised how much street

traffic you pull in. Just a thought.”

“And a very trenchant one, too,” the manager

said dryly.

The lieutenant was winded by the time he

scrambled down to the street. He held up a

hand, and Kramer patiently studied the evening

traffic until Columbo was through wheezing and

weaving.

“Mrs. Flossburton here was out for her evening

‘constitutional’ when the vic came down,” the

detective sergeant grunted.

“I looked up to see where he’d come from,” she

breathed in a moneyed British accent. “That’s

when I saw the killer. He was smiling, mind

you, bright as day.”

“Wow,” Columbo breathed. “That’s absolutely

amazing. Ma’am, I wonder if you wouldn’t mind

going with Sgt. Kramer down to headquarters. We

got a guy down there, you can describe somebody

to him and, well, it’s like one of those mall

artists–”

“I don’t need any police artist,” Mrs.

Flossburton said, digging into her Prada

handbag. “I have his picture right here.”

The volume she pulled out was thick and black,

a silver skull embossed on the cover. The title

was dwarfed by the name slashed above the

grinning Death’s head: Simon Khan.

Mrs. Flossburton turned the book over. A tall

man with a broad forehead, large brown eyes,

and Fu Manchu moustache glared into the camera.

“That’s him.”

Malibu Canyon

One day later

“Cool customer,” Sgt. Kramer grunted, staring

at Simon Khan’s glass-fronted home. The Maestro

of the Macabre waved cheerfully at the pair

from his stone stoop.

Columbo grinned ruefully. “I guess a fella like

that, writing all the time about murder and

monsters, probably doesn’t get too ruffled

about things.”

“Why would he? Man’s got a perfect alibi.”

“And we got a perfect witness. We just can’t

make both of them fit together. We just have to

work out how they fit.”

“I don’t see how that’s possible,” Kramer said

as they approached Columbo’s vintage (his term)

Peugeot.

The lieutenant wrenched the import’s door open

with a screech worthy of a Stephen King crypt,

and leaned on the frame. “Well, you know what

Sherlock Holmes said?”

Kramer sighed. “‘Why am I wearing this nutty

hat?'”

“No, Sergeant. He said when there isn’t any

possible way for something to happen, you gotta

consider the impossible. And I know just the

fella to help me do it.”

**

“You didn’t tell me this was going to be on the

final exam,” Special Agent Fox Mulder

complained.

Mulder had welcomed the Homicide cop’s call —

the paranormal investigator collected quirky

people like Midwest housewives collected

Hummels or pimply dateless twentysomethings

ST:DS9 memorabilia. He had been intrigued by

Lt. Columbo’s receptivity to some of the more

unorthodox elements of the Huykendall murder

case (see “Murder With a Future” at

http://www.planetpreset.com/murdfut.html.

“There’s a killer, real smart guy, who has a

perfect alibi miles away from the murder

scene,” Columbo repeated. “But a witness — a

very reliable witness — swears she saw the guy

in the room with the victim right after the

victim went off a 14th floor balcony. And the

guy’s very unusual-looking.”

“Wait a minute,” Mulder interjected. “Is this

the Daniel Prinze murder? The horror writer?”

“That’s the fella.”

“So I assume your killer was a critic.”

“Geez, I kinda like the guy’s books. You ever

read that one he wrote about the demon who gets

elected president?”

“Hell to the Chief. An American literary

treasure. So who do you think killed Prinze?”

“Get a load of this, Agent Mulder. Simon Khan.”

Mulder leaned forward. “Get outta here. The

Simon Khan? He writes circles around that hack

Prinze.”

“Yeah, he’s a hell of a writer, all right. But

Mr. Prinze’s manager, she tells me Mr. Khan’s

got like, oh, ah, a mental blot.”

“Block, Lieutenant. Well, I guess at two novels

a year over the last 20 years or so, plus seven

books worth of short stories, he was bound to

tap out. You trying to tell me Khan killed

Prinze out of jealousy? The washed-up master

and the hack kid?”

“We-e-ell, there mighta been a little more to

it than that. See, Mr. Khan, he was about to

make a big sale to one of the studios. You ever

read Kenneth?”

“Wow, yeah. Guy convinced he’s trapped in some

parallel universe, or is he? Classic modern

fable of dislocation and alienation in the

post-9/11 world. They’re making a movie out of

Kenneth?”

“They were, I guess. Then the studio changed

its mind and signed up to do three of Prinze’s

books. Manager said they got Jennifer Lopez to

star in the one, oh, you know, the one about

the lesbian zombies?”

Mulder groaned. “Ghoul-on-Ghoul?”

“Yeah, that’s the one. Mr. Prinze just found

out about the movie deal the day before he was

killed. He lives near San Diego — he was at

the Vista del Sol, fancy-shmancy hotel in

Beverly Hills — for some news conference or

something. We traced a call from the hotel to

Mr. Khan’s house out in Malibu, maybe about an

hour before he went off the balcony.”

“Really? What’d Khan have to say about that?”

“Said Mr. Prinze called him to tell him about

the big movie deal.”

“Youch.”

Columbo chuckled. “Yeah, I guess Mr. Prinze

didn’t know nothing about Mr. Khan losing out

on his movie deal. Mr. Khan says Mr. Prinze

wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. Uh,

that was Mr. Khan’s words, Agent. Anyways, Mr.

Prinze didn’t seem to know Mr. Khan wasn’t real

crazy about him.”

“How long had Khan known Prinze?”

“The manager says they met right after the

Columbine thing, you know, the two boys that

shot up the high school? Terrible thing. Mr.

Khan got a buncha horror writers together for

some kinda teen suicide charity thing. Started

a foundation for troubled kids.”

“Face Your Fears. Heard of it. So you say Khan

has a perfect alibi?”

“Oh, yeah, a party at his place. We got a

hundred or so people will vouch for him.”

“Then why do you believe he killed Prinze?”

Columbo paused. “Well, I guess you could call

it a policeman’s hunch. Or maybe that Mrs.

Flossburton, our witness, swears Mr. Khan was

in that room when Mr. Prinze went off the

balcony.

“Or it could be what Mr. Khan said when I went

to question him about Mr. Prinze’s death. I

mentioned the off-possibility it coulda been a

suicide – which I don’t think it was, cause

when he had supper earlier, Mr. Prinze asked

his waiter about the next day’s dooger.”

“Dooger?”

“The thing, you know, like the blue plate

special, only fancier.”

“The specialty du jour.”

“Yeah. That’s it. Seems he was torn between

a couple of the dishes on the menu, and so he

wanted to know what the hotel restaurant would

have the next day so he wouldn’t have beef two

days in a row, or chicken, or…”

“So why would Prinze have been interested in

the next day’s special if he was going to take

a swan dive off a balcony?” Mulder summarized

smoothly. “I gotta say, it’s a little weak.”

“Well, there was also an open bottle of

champagne in the room – room service brought it

up after Mr. Prinze’s manager called him with

some more details on the movie deal. The hotel

sent that bottle up only about 15 minutes

before Mr. Prinze was killed. You gonna open a

couple hundred dollar bottle of bubbly if you

aren’t gonna be around to drink it? And, oh

yeah, there was no note. Nothing in the room or

on his laptop.”

“That’s a little more solid. But why’s any of

this point to Khan?”

“Because,” Columbo said meaningfully, “it

wasn’t me that made that point about the

champagne. When I mentioned that we didn’t

think Mr. Prinze had killed himself, Mr. Khan

said that made sense, cause why would he pop

open a bottle of Dom Perignon right before he

does the dutch? Now, Mr. Prinze ordered that

bottle quite a bit after he called Mr. Khan.

When I pressed him about how he knew about the

champagne, Mr. Khan said he woulda ordered up a

bottle if he’d just struck a big deal that was

gonna make him rich.”

“Why didn’t he just say Prinze told him he was

going to open a bottle of champagne to

celebrate? It would’ve made more sense, and

nobody would know for sure that wasn’t Prinze’s

plan.”

“Exactly!” The triumphant crispness of

Columbo’s exclamation startled Mulder. “And why

say Dom Perignon? Why go into that kinda

detail? Why not just say, ‘Mr. Prinze was gonna

open up some champagne’?”

“Because he’s playing you,” Mulder drawled.

“You told him you had a witness who could put

him in Prinze’s room, but he has an airtight

alibi, so why not have a little fun? He’s

daring you to catch him.”

“That’s why I called you, Agent Mulder. You

know all about this crazy stuff. Maybe you

could figure out some way he could be in two

places at one time. You fly out, I’ll show you

the town, maybe take you for a burger.”

Mulder paused, tempted. “Gee, Lieutenant, I’d

love to, but my director’s suggested I stick

around the office for the next few weeks. There

was a little incident involving silver bullets

and a lawsuit. You’ll crack it, Columbo. And

you need to bounce any ideas, just call. OK?”

“Well, OK,” Columbo sighed. “Thanks for taking

the time. Good talking to you again.”

“Same.”

Scully strolled briskly into the office,

inspecting her meditative partner. Mulder

looked up and hastily cradled the phone.

“Well, Buffy, you lucked out,” the petite

redhead breathed. “Skinner talked to the brass,

and they agreed to let your little misadventure

in lycanthropy slide if you get some

counseling.”

“Aw, jeez, Scully, I gotta see a shrink?”

Mulder whined.

Scully smiled slightly, enjoying her control of

the moment. “Relax, Mulder. We negotiated, and

it just so happens there’s a major Bureau team-

building seminar coming up.”

Mulder came out of his chair. “I’d rather have

the inkblots and the electrodes.”

Scully blinked innocence. “I assumed that given

the choice of sharing your affinity for bizarre

role-playing games with some Washington PhD or

playing Truth or Dare in the California sun–”

Mulder’s tantrum halted in mid-tant.

“California?”

“Yup,” she nodded gleefully. “La-La Land.”

Mulder pumped his fist in the air, causing

Scully’s jaw to drop. “YES!”

LAX International Airport

21 hours later

Fox Mulder took in a deep breath of Southern

California air as he stepped out of the LAX

terminal, sneezing as the brown L.A. haze

seeped into his nasal passages. He flipped his

Raybans back onto his recovering nose, sighing

as the L.A. sun caressed his face. Mulder leapt

back as a wheeled brushed steel makeup case

bumped over his Italian loafers. The Nordic

blonde toting the arsenal glared back at the

agent.

“Hey, Agent Mulder!”

Lt. Columbo flapped his rain-coated arms beside

a small foreign compact that appeared to have

lost a minor skirmish with a monster truck.

Mulder had planned a few Scullyless hours by

the hotel pool. “Columbo,” he called, limping

toward the disheveled detective. “I thought we

were supposed to meet down at Parker Center at

2.”

“We got another sighting!” Columbo shouted as a

pair of airport security guards approached.

“Sighting?”

“Another Simon Khan sighting,” the lieutenant

explained nervously.

“This is a shuttle zone, sir,” the larger of

the pair rumbled. “You gotta move on.”

“That’s what we’re gonna do, fellas,” Columbo

grinned, finally locating his badge case.

“Today, officer,” the guard ordered, enjoying

his moment of control and turning on his heel.

“Bye, fellas!” Columbo yelled. “Gee, they

seemed nice. Climb on in, Agent Mulder.”

“You know, it looks kinda tight in there,”

Mulder murmured. “Why don’t I take a

cab and meet you there.”

“Oh, geez, no. Those cabbies drive like

maniacs.”

Ten minutes later, as Mulder’s shins slammed

for the fifth time into the dashboard, he

gripped the windowframe for stability. “I, ah,

researched a few possible explanations for

Khan’s bilocation.”

“Bi-what?” Columbo asked.

“The road, please? Bilocation – the ability of

an individual to be in two locations

simultaneously. There’s actually extensive

documentation of such cases. The most common

phenomenon reported is the doppelganger, or

‘double walker,’ a so-called shadow self.

Supposedly, only the owner of the doppelganger

can see it, and it can be a harbinger of death.

Guy de Maupassant, the French novelist, claimed

to have been haunted by his doppelganger near

the end of his life.”

“Demap a…?”

“A variation is the wraith, a double an

individual can project to a remote location.

The double can interact with other people just

like the real person. It’s kind of like astral

projection, except…”

Columbo scratched his forehead. “You know, I’m

not sure the Captain would really go for that

wraith thing…”

“OK, how about good old solid quantum physics?

Scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of

Technology recently proves that an object at

least as large as a molecule can be made to act

like a light wave. It can be forcibly split

into two component waves and separately

manipulated, altered, recombined and analyzed.”

“That’s real interesting…”

“In other words, the same molecule conceivably

could exist in each of the two waves – in two

places at once. Then, if you want to get really

cosmic, there’s mirror matter. Every particle,

every atom may have an identical ‘partner’

particle or atom. The asteroid Eros shows signs

of being bombarded by invisible mirror matter.

If mirror matter exists, it opens the

possibility of parallel universes. Or people.”

Columbo stuck the cold cigar in his mouth. “Oh,

yeah, the captain’s not gonna like this at

all.”

**

“Where’s Extreme Makeover when you need it?”

Mulder muttered as he studied the sunburst

mural that adorned the lavish lobby of the

Vista del Sol. A huge pewter sun anchored the

lobby.

Columbo whistled. “Yeah, I’d love to do

something like this with my living room, but

Mrs. Columbo’s got real simple tastes.”

“Hey,” a plump young woman called as she

approached the pair. The housekeeper was draped

in a sunny canary yellow – the Vista del Sol’s

official staff color. “You the cops? I’m

Consuela. What’s up?”

Columbo ducked his head. “Hello, ma’am. I’m Lt.

Columbo. You told Sgt. Kramer you saw something

the night of the murder here?”

“When I heard you guys thought that writer guy,

Khan, might’ve killed that other guy, I thought

I ought to let you know,” Vargas said,

nervously playing with the hem of her uniform.

Columbo nodded appreciatively. “That was very

public-spirited of you, ma’am. So when did you

see Mr. Khan?”

She pointed vaguely toward the hotel

restaurant, La Fête du Soleil (the feast of the

sun,” Mulder translated). “See, I was on my

break, oh, maybe about a half-hour before that

man went into the pool, and I…”

“Yes, ma’am?” Columbo invited.

Vargas’ eyes flitted to the front desk. “Well,

see, I been dating Karl, the sous-chef, and I

was hoping maybe he was around. So I look in

the kitchen, but he ain’t there. So I kinda

roam around the service corridor – you know,

the back way to the ballrooms? — and I

see him.”

“Karl?” Mulder prompted.

“No, man,” Vargas sighed. “That writer guy. He

ain’t supposed to be there, so I thought about

telling him he needed to get out of there. But

he’s like, famous, or used to be, so I don’t

want to sound mean or anything. Anyway, I

figured this big writer guy wouldn’t be

stealing napkins or forks or nothing, so I just

got outta there before he saw me.”

“How was he dressed?” Mulder asked.

“Well, he was kinda in the dark, you know, the

shadows. But it looked like he was all in

black, like a burglar or Johnny Cash or

something. Makes sense, I guess, him being a

horror guy and all.”

“Anything else, ma’am?” Columbo spurred.

“Nah, that was about it. That help you? ‘Cause

it is about my break time…”

“You were very helpful, ma’am — very helpful.

You go enjoy your break, and give Karl my

regards.”

The plump housekeeper blushed and smiled coyly

before fleeing. Columbo leaned against a lobby

table and sighed heavily. “Well, that sure

doesn’t make anything any easier. Now we got

about an hour window when Mr. Khan had to be

away from his party. You wanna tell me about

that mirror matter again?”

**

“Lieutenant!” Simon Khan beamed as Columbo and

Mulder approached his table. Several heads

turned to glare at the mismatched duo

interrupting Khan’s signing session. The

autograph seekers clutched an assortment of

mostly paperbacks, with a few more elegantly

attired fans sporting mint hardcovers bearing

Khan’s amiably macabre countenance.

The author himself was wearing his talk-

show/public appearance uniform — a loose-

fitting Hawaiian shirt festooned with red

hibiscuses, and stonewashed jeans. He waved the

new arrivals into the Barnes and Noble.

“I was hoping you’d be back,” Khan said as he

accepted a plump matron’s copy of The Autumn

People. “Your initial visitation inspired me to

explore my first detective novel. Well, a

supernatural detective novel. Perhaps Mr.

Mulder might be able to counsel me.”

Columbo blinked, nearly backing into a life-

sized cardboard Tom Clancy stoically guarding

his latest opus. “You know Agent Mulder, sir?”

“Tiny community, Hollywood,” Khan grinned. “The

studio almost hired me to consult on The

Lazarus Bowl a few years ago. How’d you like

Shandling’s Agent Mulder, Agent Mulder?”

“Lot better than Rob Lowe in Lazarus Bowl II:

The Pontiff’s Revenge,” Mulder murmured.

“What’s your idea, Mr. Khan?”

“Kind of a twist on the old astral projection

theme,” Khan answered nonchalantly, jotting a

greeting into a Goth girl’s battered copy of

Glow. “What they call the ‘Janus resolution’ in

the mystery world. Was a supernatural agent

responsible for the crime in question, or has

the murderer committed the perfect murder?

“There’s no such thing as a perfect crime,

sir,” Columbo countered.

“Well, perhaps not outside of fiction,” Khan

conceded, his grin widening. “What do you

think, Agent? Was my good friend Daniel

dispatched by a dastardly doppelganger?”

Mulder smiled. “Was your good friend into

alliterative graveyard humor, Mr. Khan?”

The writer shrugged. “Touche, Agent Mulder. But

you have to understand the world of horror

writers. Most of us were geeks and freaks in

high school, even college, and sometimes,

sarcasm and eccentricity were our best

weapons against a cold world.”

“Where’d Dan Prinze fit into that scheme?”

Mulder posed. “He wasn’t actually a geek in the

traditional sense. An assistant professor of

the classics, a Mensa member, one of the

country’s top Greek scholars. Even published a

mainstream novel.”

“Icarus Ascending,” Khan supplied. “Wasn’t a

bad read — Dan probably should’ve stuck to

literature. Problem was, he wasn’t content to

toil in academic obscurity. When Icarus tanked,

he cranked out a quickie paperback under a

pseudonym and was astonished — and probably

pretty damned disgusted — to discover the

public ate it up. Then the cable people made

that cheesy TV-movie out of it. Dan quit his

university gig and became a writing machine,

each fast-food book more popular than the rest.

“The problem is, Dan didn’t have the outcast

mentality necessary to fully imagine the basest

human fears. But the more popular he became,

the more he wanted to hang out with the geeks.

I found him sort of amusing. Hell, I even

invited him to my party the other night. But

Dan was too busy crowing about his movie deal.”

The Maestro of the Macabre glanced at his

watch, a Mickey Mouse model. “Hey, gotta run,

fellas — drinks with some audio book folks.

Sorry, Lieutenant, but I can’t be two places at

once. Right?”

Five minutes later, the cop and the agent

gnawed pensively on mall pretzels, Columbo

noisily sucking on a Coke. Suddenly, he stopped

in mid-suck.

“Mr. Khan knows some folks in the movie

business, right?” Columbo inquired.

“Yeah, I guess he would.”

“Think he might know any doubles — you know,

stunt doub–”

“No,” Mulder responded simply, ripping into a

salty rope of dough.

“Just a thought,” Lt. Columbo sighed. The

detective stared back into the bookstore, where

a clerk was removing all evidence of Simon

Khan’s visit. Within minutes, an unsmiling Tom

Clancy was replaced by a cardboard tombstone

loaded with Daniel Prinze’s latest novel. As

the cop watched the clerk and Clancy disappear

into a stockroom, he slapped his forehead.

“You want to drink that slower,” Mulder

suggested.

“I got it,” Columbo announced. “I got the how.”

He sobered, respectfully. “You might not like

it though, Agent Mulder. I’m afraid there

wasn’t any doppler-gangers or nothing.”

“Tell me.”

Columbo’s brow furrowed. “First, you got one of

those cell phones on you? Thanks.” Mulder

walked him through the intricacies of dialing

in the new millennium, then listened as he was

bounced between several parties. “Yeah,

Consuela? This is Lt. Columbo — yeah, the

murder guy. Sorry to take you away from your

work. Huh? Yeah, that’s how I feel, too.

Anyway, I just got two questions to ask you.

You got any big horror fans work with you?

Somebody likes scary books, Simon

Khan?…Really, yessss. Well, thanks, Consuela.

You mighta just busted the case wide open.”

**

“Hey,” Vincent Carmody mumbled, stretching and

blinking at the cop and the agent in his

apartment doorway. His carrot-hued hair was in

disarray. “You’re the dude that came out to the

hotel after that writer guy got offed.”

“Yes, sir, that’s right,” Columbo nodded. “And

this is Special Agent Mulder with the FBI. I

hope we didn’t wake you up, Mr. Carmody.”

“Naw, man,” the bellboy yawned. “I was watching

Chainsaw again. Hooper’s no Carpenter, you

know?”

“Mind if we come in, swap notes on Freddy vs.

Jason?” Mulder asked.

Vincent glanced anxiously back into his

darkened apartment. Mulder caught a glimpse of

Leatherface pursuing a distraught adolescent.

“Aw, you know, it’s kinda messed up. I ain’t

much of a housekeeper. That’s why I’m a

bellboy.” He snorted at his wit.

“Oh, come on, Vince,” Mulder urged. “We just

want to come in and see your collection. Or at

least one item. OK?”

“Hey,” Vince protested, blocking the doorway.

“I watch The Practice. You guys can’t just come

in here without a, you know, one of those

search things…”

Columbo smiled. “That’s true, sir. I’ll go

to go downtown and talk to a judge I know, then

come back here with a search warrant.

Meanwhile, Officer Schmidt will keep you

company.”

“Officer Schmidt?” Vince looked past Columbo

and Mulder, to the patrol unit at the curb. A

crewcut halfback leaned against the passenger

door.

“Yeah,” Mulder said. “We wouldn’t want anything

to get ‘lost’ while we’re getting that search

warrant.”

Vince slumped against the doorjamb. “Shit,

man.”

“Yup,” Mulder grinned.

**

Simon Khan stepped off the elevator with a

sense of trepidation. Columbo had been

particularly solicitous when he’d called out to

the house. Did he suspect the truth?

And why was he supposed to meet the cop and his

fed friend in Dan’s room? Simon fingered the

plastic keycard Columbo had left at the desk

for him.

The corridor was empty, and as the author

approached Room 1413, he listened for voices

within. Silence. He slipped the card into the

lock, waited for the green light, and pushed

in.

For a second, Simon’s breath was taken away.

His feet froze to the carpet, and his eyes

locked onto the figure across the room.

Simon Khan stared at Simon Khan for a moment

before his eyes acclimated to the darkness. The

Simon Khan by the balcony curtains was clad in

black and grinning mischievously, as if he were

savoring the horror in his doppelganger’s eyes.

Then Simon’s heart slowed as he understood, and

he laughed, briefly. Then the curtains flew

open, and he blinked.

“And that, Mr. Khan, is how a man can be in two

places at one time,” he heard Columbo announce.

The compact cop came into focus, followed by a

taller silhouette. Mulder.

The good lieutenant walked over, reached behind

the second Simon Kahn, and effortlessly picked

him up. He carried the two-dimensional author

over and placed him before the three-

dimensional one. “You’ve seen one of these

before, haven’t you, sir?”

Simon was silent.

“It’s one of those cardboard standup displays

like they put in the bookstores. I almost

knocked one over yesterday, remember? Tom

Clancy, I think.

Columbo examined the standup. “I think Agent

Mulder here’s actually a little disappointed.

He was hoping there was some kinda supernatural

reason for Mrs. Flossburton and Ms. Vargas

seein’ you here at the hotel when you were

sposed to be at your party. That’s what you

wanted us to think. But it was just a mistake –

a mistake you decided to take advantage of.

“See, Mrs. Flossburton saw you from, geez,

musta been at least two football fields away.

And Ms. Vargas, the maid, she saw this thing in

the dark. Turns out the bellboy – big fan of

yours – had this standup in his van. He bought

it at a comic book store a few days ago.

“But the night Mr. Prinze died, Vincent, the

bellboy, he snuck it in the employee entrance

when he thought nobody would notice. That’s

when Ms. Vargas saw it – while Vince was

checkin’ to see if the coast was clear. Then it

wound up in this room – that’s where Mrs.

Flossburton saw it, thinking it was you.

“You heard on the news what’d happened to your

friend, Mr. Prinze, and when I came to visit

you with that story about Mrs. Flossburton

seeing you up here, you decided to let me

believe you really were here. What harm could

it do? You had a perfect alibi, and since you

didn’t kill Mr. Prinze, you knew I’d never

crack it.”

The detective turned to the author – the real

one. “One thing bothered me. Why would you

try to take the blame for a murder you didn’t

commit? I get murderers, they like to play

games. Sometimes, somebody’ll try to protect

the real killer – a friend, a family member.”

“But I don’t think it was a friend or relative

or lover you were trying to protect,” Mulder

picked up. “When Prinze called you that night,

he was depressed, wasn’t he?”

Khan smiled inscrutably. “You gotta be kidding.

He was riding high.”

“I don’t think so,” Mulder said, calmly. He

pulled a small brown, safety-capped bottle from

his slacks. “I think the true impact of his

newfound fame came home to him. Prinze was a

associate professor, familiar with classic

literature, unsuccessful at his own try at the

Great American Novel. He was good at

literature, but he knew down deep he was a

failure at horror fiction. A popular failure,

but a failure. He called his mentor, you, and I

think you talked him through it.

Then you invited him to your party.”

Khan laughed. “You must have a touch of psychic

ability yourself, Agent.”

“Not really. See, that’s why this standup was

in the room. After talking to you, Prinze came

out of his funk. He ordered a bottle of

champagne, and bragged to the bellboy – Vince –

that he was going to a party thrown by the

great Simon Khan.”

“Great, yeah. I haven’t published in three

years, and I can’t get even any hack producers

interested in doing one of my stories. I’m on

the downhill side in an age when people are

more interested in a good beach read than

serious gothic scares.”

“To Daniel Prinze, you were a master in a genre

where he felt like an imposter. Then the

bellboy comes back, armed with his little

collector’s item here.” Mulder studied the

cardboard figure. “Prinze is already in a

vulnerable state, and Vincent the Sensitive

asks Prinze if he could get the Great Simon

Khan to sign it for him. Prinze says OK.”

“Then why didn’t he show up at the party?” Khan

challenged.

“I think Prinze sat here for a while, staring

at ‘you’ and realizing he’d never be you, no

matter how much fame or money he got,” Columbo

suggested. “Then I think he went out onto the

balcony for some fresh air. And that, Mr. Khan,

is when he jumped.”

Mulder glanced out toward the balcony. “Kurt

Cobain.”

Khan looked up. “What?”

“You weren’t protecting a killer. You were

protecting what you and Prinze had tried so

hard to do with Face Your Fear. What would

happen to your teen anti-suicide campaign if

one of the founders, a celebrity, the height of

his career, was found to have killed himself?

Guys like Kurt Cobain have already glamorized

the idea of suicide. You’d rather have had

people wonder if you were a killer rather than

let Daniel Prinze become some kind of romantic

hero to disaffected kids.”

Khan stared silently at Mulder, then at

Columbo. “You think you can prove this?”

“Vince was at poolside when Prinze jumped,”

Mulder said. “He didn’t want be implicated –

or, I suspect, to have his collector’s item

confiscated as evidence – so he rushed up

before anybody could identify Prinze and

removed the standup of you. He’s confessed to

doing that.”

“But he didn’t see Prinze go off the balcony,”

Khan said evenly. “This still doesn’t prove

Prinze wasn’t murdered.”

“You’re absolutely right, sir,” Columbo agreed,

thoughtfully. “We’re pretty sure Mr. Prinze

jumped off that balcony out there, but the only

solid evidence we have, well, I’m not so sure a

jury would buy it. See, I figured out the how,

but Agent Mulder worked out the why. He’s what

you call a profiler – he gets into a killer’s

head and figures out how he’d think, what he’d

do. But in this case, he got into the victim’s

head. Mr. Prinze’s head.”

“You know what Vista del Sol means, don’t you,

Mr. Khan?” Mulder posed.

“I live in California, Agent,” Khan smiled

sardonically. “View of the Sun, or something

like that, right?”

“Close enough. The hotel’s decorators and

owners have taken the name literally. You’ve

seen the sunburst in the lobby, the staff’s

uniforms, the name of the restaurant – French

for ‘Feast of the Sun.’

“Prinze’s first novel, the one that flopped so

badly. Icarus Ascending. You know who Icarus

was, I assume. The tragic Greek hero who made

wings of feathers and wax and tried to fly to

the sun. Only the sun’s heat melted the wings,

and he fell to his death. Prinze drew on his

knowledge of Greek mythology for his story of a

young man whose dreams exceeded his talents.

“Mr. Khan, Lieutenant, would you two come out

onto the balcony?”

Columbo pushed past the heavy drapes and, after

a moment, Khan moved out into the warm

California night. The sounds of music and

partying wafted up from the hotel pool.

Mulder grasped the railing. “Prinze already had

been fighting feelings of insecurity and

depression. Then Vince showed up and reminded

Prinze that he’d always be a pale reflection of

the Master of Horror, Simon Khan. I think

Prinze came out here to reflect, to be alone

with his dark thoughts, whatever. He comes over

here, looks down and… Well, Mr. Khan, would

you look down at the pool, please?”

Khan moved to the rail and willed himself to

glance down. “What am I suppose to be see-?”

The writer gasped sharply and stepped back.

Columbo placed a hand on his shoulder, and Khan

looked back into the shimmering blue water.

Beneath the surface, vivid tiles of orange and

yellow and red and white were arranged into a

large, seemingly incandescent circle. Tiled

rays emanated from the circle.

“You see, sir,” Columbo said quietly, “When Mr.

Prinze looked down there into that pool, he

musta thought about that character in his first

book, about how his talent would probably never

live up to his dreams…”

Washington, D.C.

15 hours later

“It must have seemed like an omen,” Mulder

suggested, rolling onto his side to face

Scully. He’d seemed subdued when she’d picked

him up at Reagan Airport, so Scully didn’t razz

him about his no-show at the Bureau seminar.

She placed a palm on her partner’s chest, and

pushed her pillow closer to his’. “But what a

horrible, hopeless decision.”

“We all want to imagine ourselves the hero of

our own drama – or, in Prinze’s case, his own

Greek tragedy. When he looked over that balcony

rail and saw what was at the bottom of that

pool, it must have seemed, oh, just right, I

guess. He climbed onto the railing and, just

like Icarus…”

“He flew into the sun.”

end

A League of Demon Cats

TITLE: A League of Demon Cats

AUTHOR: Sue Esty/ Windsinger

RATING: PG-13 –for occasional sick humor.

CATEGORY: Casefile

DISCLAIMER: No, Mulder and Scully and Maggie Scully are not mine but to my way of thinking Chris has clearly given up all rights to them.A League of Demon Cats

SUMMARY: Three elderly people have been murdered and the evidence points to the most unlikely person you can imagine.

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Grantsville, Maryland

January 22, 2005

Mrs. Helen Landsburg lowered the footrest of her Laz-E-Boy then paused for

strength. Before reaching for her walker she pushed her frail body to the edge

of the chair. This was too hard, she thought as she shuffled towards the kitchen.

She should have petitioned her doctor for a prescription for one of those lift

chairs whose seat raises to push you to your feet. And a trapeze bar above her

bed would be helpful as well like the ones they have above hospital beds. Or a

service dog? A nice, friendly Lab could bring her things she forgot and save her

at least half the trips she made around her house each day. And a dog would be

company. Grace had a service dog, Peetie, the sweetest little Border collie you

ever saw. Helen had Missy but the gray tabby refused to fetch anything that

didn’t resemble a dead mouse. Still she slept on the old woman’s stomach on cold

nights, a warm, welcoming presence. That was worth a lot.

Behind her the television still blared. It was playing the opening theme music

for that soap Helen hated which came on after Jeopardy. Since the remote was ten

feet away now, the damn thing would just have to stay on until she could get

back to it. By then maybe the Meals on Wheels volunteer would get it for her. In

truth the volunteer who brought her lunch and dinner six times a week didn’t

work for Meals on Wheels but another organization even if Helen couldn’t

remember its name.

Helen never made it to the kitchen where she would have waited at the kitchen

table for the volunteer to come to her back door. She felt suddenly a little

dizzy and very weak and the bedroom was closer. She was lying down, useless

Missy mewing at her side for her missed breakfast, when the expected knock

sounded at her back door. “Come in,” she tried to cry though barely a whisper

escaped. As if from far, far away she heard the lock turn and the door open.

* * * * * * * * * * *

January 24, 10am

Georgetown

Washington DC

Scully found her partner and housemate in their back yard putting the little BBQ

grill away in the duplex’s four-by-six garden shed. The red dome was covered

with a double layer of dry-clearer bags. No fancy grill-covers for Mulder.

Scottish frugality and Yankee ingenuity all the way. Timing however…

“You should have done that in November,” she commented with a smile.

He shrugged as he tried to manhandle the grill past the lawn mower that took up

most of the floor space in the tiny shed. “I thought we might get another warm

spell before the holidays.”

“Which one — Thanksgiving or Christmas?” she teased.

He paused in his maneuvering to narrow his eyes at her. “I’ll remember that the

next time you’re in the mood for home-grilled shrimp, not that either of us are

going to get that wish for the next couple of months. They’re finally seeing a

change in the jet stream.” His attention turned to banks of clouds building from

the north then went back to struggling with the shed’s aluminum door. “I forgot

how living in a house with a yard required so much stuff.”

“I told you that we didn’t need a mower. A yard the size of this you can cut

with an electric hedge trimmer.”

“At least I didn’t get the riding mower that I really wanted. By the way, did

you have a nice morning with your Mom?”

For the holidays, Mulder had bought the house a bench made out of recycled

plastic and had set it up under the back yard’s drooping cherry tree in

anticipation of its spring fountains of pink blossoms. Scully collapsed down

onto the bench, which was overhung in January by only bare whips of twigs and a

lifeless sky. She looked suddenly so downcast that Mulder immediately came to

sit by her side. “What’s wrong? Is Maggie still having problems dealing with

Bill’s death?” And Charlie’s coldness he could have added but didn’t. When

Scully didn’t respond immediately he assumed both were a ‘yes’. His complexion

went a little paler than usual even for January. “W-Would it help if we …. if we

discussed the… uh… the ‘M’ word.”

With that Scully threw back her head and laughed even as she patted his clenched

hands. “Don’t get your intestines all tied up in knots. You know that you’re as

much of a son to her now as you will ever be.” In relief his death grip relaxed

and color returned to his face. “You just don’t have to be so relieved about

it,” she chided. “No, what’s wrong with Mom is not depression. She’s more….

manic.”

“Being manic is the flip side of depression,” he said. “It’s just another way of

grieving. Keeping busy helps.”

“I know,” Scully agreed reluctantly, “but this is just not Mom. It’s as if she’s

flying from one thing to the other. Some of it’s understandable — like her work

at the hospital which she’s very committed to — but she’s joined a community

chorus and a committee for the county fair. She volunteers at the library and

there’s the neighborhood watch she’s organized. Her schedule would exhaust

anyone!”

Mulder eyed his partner with concern. There was more. “What aren’t you telling

me?”

She sighed. “As I said, she’s just not Mom. She’s always been so neat, so

careful of her appearance. Now it’s as if she doesn’t care. She hasn’t seen her

hairdresser in months, she’s pulled out clothes from seasons and seasons ago and

wears them, and not just around the house. She goes out like that. Don’t get me

wrong, I’m not into that entire status thing, but I do believe that for most

people neatness mirrors emotional well being. She’s also forgetting things, like

our shopping date today. I found her wandering around the neighborhood.”

“Was she lost?”

Scully shrugged. “She says, no. She says that she was just getting exercise

though how anyone as busy as her needs more exercise, I don’t know.”

“And her forgetting her favorite daughter was coming?” he asked. Only belatedly

did he remember that Dana had been Maggie Scully’s only daughter for some years.

“We’ll invite her to dinner,” he offered, “though I don’t know why. She cooks

better than either of us.”

“It might be tough finding a night she’s free.”

They didn’t have time to discuss the topic further. At that moment, Mulder’s

cell phone began playing the Close Encounters theme that he had downloaded off

the Internet. He answered and listed before replacing the instrument into his

pocket.

“That was Moratti in VCS. They have a consult for us. Yes, I know that we had

the morning off but we’ve been specifically requested. Murder of an elderly

woman. Grantsville, Maryland.”

Abruptly, Scully’s back straightened. “That’s a suburb of Baltimore and not very

far from where Mom lives.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Mulder’s thumb and first finger rose up under his reading glasses in an attempt

to pinch away the headache rising behind his eyes. “You called us in about

demonic cats?” he repeated for the fourth time in the past two minutes. “Demonic

‘cats’?”

Lyndon Freize was an young, over-eager agent, five-foot-ten, slender and blond,

who had been so enamored by Mulder’s lecture series at Quantico on profiling and

out-of-the-ordinary cases that he had earned a near perfect score and then

audited the classes twice more. He had also applied for assignment to the X-

Files a least half a dozen times until Scully took him gently aside to assure

him that, in the opinion of the bean counters, there was barely enough work to

keep she and Mulder occupied. If there were ever an opening, however, Lyndon

would be the first one they would call.

“Lyndon,” Mulder repeated slowly, knowing the man preferred the use of his first

name since ‘Frieze’, shouted in the midst of a critical law enforcement action

could lead to unnecessary and potentially fatal confusion, “say again why you

believe demon cats are at the heart of these murders?”

The slender young man nearly danced around Helen Landsburg’s genteelly shabby

living room as he performed for his idol. “All three victims — one over the

line in D.C. and two in Maryland — were suffocated. All owned cats, who from

the amount of cat hair in the bed clothes, slept with them regularly. Upon

autopsy, cat hair and dander was found in the nasal passages and deep in the

lungs of the Uba and Pulaski. This third appears to be nearly identical though

they’ve barely started the autopsy. ‘Two may be a coincidence, but three? ‘Watch

your ass.’” Lyndon quoted and beamed, Mulder groaned inwardly. The quote was

from Mulder’s summation statement from lecture number three.

Scully was scanning the two earlier case files. “There is a surprising degree of

similarity. All elderly and in poor shape physically. One man, Ivan Pulaski. Two

women, Angela Uba and Helen Landsburg. All lived alone except for a cat. All

were suffocated.” Suddenly, like a hound on a scent, she was off, heading for

the kitchen. Mulder followed, Lyndon sliding in his wake. Mulder watched as she

leaned down to read a single sheet of paper on the otherwise empty kitchen table.

With a latex-gloved hand she swung open the hinged door on the trash receptacle

and opened the refrigerator. There she stood, back straight. Too straight,

Mulder noted. Then she went to the sink next to which sat a small forest of

prescriptions. After searching for only a few seconds she held up two bottles.

“Different religions, different neigh-borhoods and economic classes, but all had

a least some of their prescriptions filled at Baltimore-Washington Hospital.”

Mulder’s right eyebrow raised. “We’ll start there then, Scully, after we wrap up

here.”

Lyndon looked up, pert as a terrier. “Where do you suggest I start, Agent

Mulder?”

Mulder considered for a moment and for once did not say the first words that

came into his head. Instead he gestured as a sleek, gray and white shape crept

in through the cat door, glanced quickly and with disappointment at the empty

food dish, then vanished into the living room. “After we talk to your evidence

people, why don’t you round up our chief suspect there, and keep him, or her,

close confined for the next few days. With a name like Missy I guess it’s a her.

See if she exhibits any unusual behavior. Also, see if all three victims

frequented the same veterinarian.” Lyndon nodded with the same eagerness and

started off, crouching low. “And Lyndon,” Mulder added tongue so firmly in his

cheek that he was in danger of choking himself, “perhaps it would be best to

lock the cat out of your room at night.”

As they left Helen’s modest sixties-era ranch house, Scully headed for the

driver’s side of their Bureau car. All too familiar with that determined posture.

Mulder settled without a word into the passenger’s seat. She drove unerringly

and in silence for fifteen minutes, sliding at last onto the Baltimore-

Washington Parkway. The Parkway was like the cherry tree in Mulder’s back yard,

gray and barren, but in his mind he could see all the seasons interposed one

upon the other; the new green of spring, the jungle lushness of summer and the

golden splendor of fall. Variable yet never changing like partner’s moods. They

continued in silence. Scully turned off a few exits later at a sign for the

Baltimore-Washington Hospital. The set of her chin mirrored the steel in her

spine.

“You knew your way here without even glancing at a map,” he commented carefully,

“yet I don’t remember bleeding on the floor of their E.R. anytime in the past.

This must be the only hospital in the Washington area that can boast that

distinction.”

The expression on her face finally softened. “Not for lack of trying. This is a

small, private hospital. It specializes in geriatrics.”

Mulder’s eyebrow twitched. “That would explain why I haven’t checked in there

lately. So why did you know your way here so well? Geriatrics isn’t one of your

specialties. Is this related in any way to what you saw in Mrs. Landsburg’s

refrigerator?”

The tenseness was back. “On the table was a monthly receipt from Lots in the Pot,

a meal delivery service for the at-home infirmed. There’s a sliding scale for

payment depending upon need. The clients are usually elderly, but don’t have to

be. It’s like Meals on Wheels only in addition to a prepared lunch they also

deliver upon request a ready to heat dinner and other small necessities like

toothpaste and shampoo and staples like milk and cereal.”

“You recognized the carry out containers in the trash.”

She nodded, suddenly grim again. “There was also an unopened delivery in the

refrigerator. I know it was unopened because each client’s delivery is packaged

in a medium-size, brown grocery bag which is stapled closed at the top with a

list of the contents and the date and initials of the volunteer who made the

delivery. Deliveries are made between 10am and 2pm. This delivery was made the

day Mrs. Landsburg was murdered.”

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“So about the time of her death according to the coroner.” Suddenly uneasy, he

added gently, “We’ll need to question whoever made that delivery.”

They had reached the visitor’s packing lot. Scully pulled into a space and

turned off the ignition but her eyes remained focused forward. “You know that

Mom volunteers at a hospital. Well, this is the one. Lots in the Pot works out

of here as well as other places. They have a contract with the kitchen to

prepare the food. She often drives for them. Those were my Mom’s initials on the

receipt in the refrigerator. I’d know them anywhere.”

Their first stop was to the pharmacy where they were the youngest people in the

room, both in front of and behind the counter, by at least three decades. They

requested and received all of the information the pharmacy database had on the

three victims which included drug history, doctors, and diagnoses. There was

nothing unusual in this information, Scully reported after a quick read. Just

the various ailments of old age – arthritis, diabetes, heart disease. They also

had different primary physicians. A trip to the hospital’s blue and beige

business office provided them with personal information that matched that in the

case files. All lived alone with no family close by. The second, Ivan Pulaski,

was relatively well off while the first, Angela Uba, seemed barely able to make

it month to month. Helen Landsburg’s finances seemed to fall somewhere in the

middle.

They retreated to the hospital’s coffee shop to review the new information.

Large picture windows looked out upon barren trees and gray sky which shortened

the already short day and did nothing to raise their spirits. As they finished

their coffee, Mulder’s cell phone chirped up with its Close Encounters Theme.

“Forensics,” he informed his partner, seeing the number, and took the call. He

asked a few questions and hung up less than a minute later. “That was easy.”

”Because it was just like the other ones?”

“Actually, they don’t have results on Landsburg yet. I asked some question on

the other two. In both cases suffocation was with something soft — but not a

cat — though they did indeed find cat hairs in the mouth and windpipe of both

victims. I did, however, see a several soft pillows listed as having been

removed from both Angela Uba’s bedroom and Ivan Pulaski’s bedroom. I asked the

lab to check for saliva on the pillow and the approximate number of cat hairs.

Other than the pillows they slept on, the pillows with the most cat hairs from

each bedroom also showed traces of the victim’s saliva.” As she stared, he added,

“I’m talking about cat pillows, you know. The beasts usually have only a few

preferred sleeping places. They’re very territorial. A neighbor in Chilmark had

three. I fed them when he was out of town.”

She found herself smiling for the first time in hours. “I know what a cat pillow

is. I wasn’t sure you did. So you really don’t buy into Lyndon’s demon cat

theory after all?”

He returned her smile. “I won’t say that I didn’t give it a passing thought.

After all there’s also that old wives’ tale which blames SIDS deaths on cats

smothering babies while they sleep. Old wives are not old wives for nothing, but

I’d still say that there are no demon cats today.”

“Your fan club will be disappointed,” Scully remarked as Mulder put in a call.

Within moments he had switched the speaker on and placed the cell phone on the

table between them. It sounded as if a half-dozen dogs were barking in the

background.

“Lyndon, any luck checking out vets?”

“REPEAT THAT?” asked the young agent in a raised voice.

“Any LUCK!” Mulder shouted back.

“NOT MUCH… “ The rest was lost.

“Check to see if Helen Landsburg kept a cat pillow in her bedroom. A CAT

PILLOW!”

“CAT PILLOW! Riiiight….”

The rest was grateful silence. Mulder folded up the phone. “That’s all.”

“I’d say that was enough,” Scully retorted.

Reluctantly, Scully led her partner down to the hospital’s ground floor. Here

the decoration was more utilitarian overall and the halls were narrower. The

overall impression was of coats and coats of blinding white paint. They were

very close to the hospital’s kitchens which was obvious not only from the warm

aroma of cooking from but from the hollow clatter of trays and cutlery, the

bell-like ring of huge pans, and the hiss of steam. Scully walked directly past

all this to a door marked: “Lots for the Pot. Welcome.”

She had been here before with her mom, Mulder surmised, feeling awkward. The

room was small and simply but neatly furnished with a couple of comfortable

chairs, a sofa, and end tables. On the end tables were lamps and little racks of

brochures. They had been in the room less than a minute before a small woman in

her mid-seventies wearing a print dress, low heels, and a single strand of

pearls greeted them.

“Dana,” she exclaimed with a smile, “so good to see you again. When I heard the

bell I thought it was someone coming in to inquire about the service for a

relative.”

Scully extended a hand and proceeded to tell ‘Delilah’ how good it was to see

her again as well.

“Are you here to see your mother? I can check her route for today,” Delilah

offered.

“Unfortunately, I’m here in my professional capacity today.” Noting how directly

the older woman was eyeing Mulder, Scully added. “This is my partner,” she

introduced as the partners both automatically pulled out their ID.

“Yes, Fox Mulder,” Delilah said smiling up at him as they shook hands, “Maggie

has mentioned you often.”

“Positively, I hope,” he replied radiating charm in the way only Mulder could.

Delilah hesitated a moment before answering. “We certainly have found the

stories of your exploits fascinating. But she never mentioned how… tall… you

were.”

Scully was willing to bet that ‘Good-looking’ was what the woman was actually

thinking, or ‘scrumptious’. Scully was proud of her handsome lover and gave

points to her mother for downplaying that aspect otherwise her mother’s friends

would all be planning her wedding.

Briefly, Scully summarized the reason for their visit. Delilah was shocked at

the news of the tragic deaths for, as Scully feared, all three were clients of

‘LIP’ as Delilah called it.

“We need to know the delivery dates in December and January and the IDs of the

drivers for Pulaski and Uba,” Mulder said.

“Let me go get the schedule for those weeks,” Delilah answered and hurried off

so quickly that she almost ran into a gangly, middle-aged security guard with

bold, arresting features. “Oh, Rubin, you’re still here? Do you have a minute to

help me pull down a box from the file room?”

As Delilah and the guard hurried away on their errand, Mulder murmured, “So our

exploits are fascinating?”

“I only discuss the most mundane of our cases with Mom,” Scully protested.

“She probably guesses that and makes up others to fill in the gaps.”

“Couldn’t be stranger than the truth,” Scully grumbled remembering ‘Flukeman’

and the carnival murders of many years past and others as bizarre since.

Delilah returned, her head buried in charts, her heels tapping brightly on the

linoleum. “Deliveries around December 17th for Mrs. Uba, January the 6th for Mr.

Pulaski, and the 13th for Mrs. Landsburg? All Thursdays,” the woman noted as her

eyes scanned down the columns. Mulder felt Scully’s eyes on him. Rattled over

Maggie Scully’s possible involvement, the pattern hadn’t occurred to either of

them. Delilah had a perplexed expression on her face when she next looked up.

“Dana, your mother was the assigned driver for each one of those clients and

there was a delivery on each of those days.”

To Mulder’s eyes his partner was visibly shaken but not so much that anyone but

he would notice. “And who was the driver for the next day’s delivery?” What

Mulder was asking was who should have found the bodies. None of the three were

found for at least forty-eight hours and always through a phone call to police

or a neighbor from a concerned and far-away relative.

Delilah’s brow furrowed as she referred to the sheets again. “There were no

other deliveries. Each contract was cancelled on the dates you stated.” The

woman looked pale. “I guess that that would have been the same day each died.”

A chilly breeze suddenly flowed through the room though no one had opened a door.

“Who cancelled?” Mulder asked, as Scully clearly couldn’t.

“Maggie,” Delilah reported and didn’t need to consult her spreadsheet this time.

Mulder led his partner from the hospital a few minutes later. She walked through

a light flurry of snow flakes in a kind of daze.

“We need to call Skinner,” Mulder said. “He likes your mom. He’ll want to be in

on this from the beginning.”

Scully’s step became more firm in the cool air. “Not yet. At least not till we

know more. Besides, odd behavior or not, she didn’t do it.”

“Of course she didn’t,” he assured her and meant it.

“But it looks bad,” Scully said. “How could she know to cancel the deliveries if

the bodies hadn’t even been found yet?”

“That’s what we’re going to have to ask her,” he said opening the car door.

“It’s only a coincidence, I’m sure.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in coincidences,” Scully accused.

He frowned. “There’s always a first time.”

Act II

January 24, 4pm

Mulder drove this time. He needed no help finding Scully’s childhood home, a

rambling white colonial sitting slightly below street level half way down a

gentle slope that ended at a little stream and a line of willowy trees. They

were relieved to find her car in the driveway, but alarmed to discover the door

unlocked and Maggie Scully nowhere to be found. Scully was clearly frantic but

struggled to hide it. Mulder climbed back into the car and they slowly drove the

neighboring streets. All the stately homes were at least forty years old, and

unlike the mega-cookie-cutter mansions of today had been built to house large

families in comfort, not opulence. Some were brick, some stone, some frame. Some

had wrap-around porches, some bay windows. Some had turrets, others were topped

with widow’s walks or gingerbreak. There were wrought-iron fences, stone walls,

brick walls and hedges. The streets were all lined with sidewalks and everywhere

there were trees. Mulder finally saw a small figure trudging along in the

distance, though with its overlarge coat, unfashionable goulashes, and slouch

hat pulled low he didn’t think it could possibly be Maggie. But it was. Scully

instantly recognized the outfit as one that many a bag lady would have disdained.

Maggie smile broadly as her daughter leaped out of the car before Mulder had

even brought it to a stop.

“Mom, what are you doing!” Scully exclaimed.

“Getting exercise,” and in truth Maggie’s cheeks were glowing from the cold.

“It’s nearly dark.”

“So it is. I love the glow of lights behind the windows of the houses,

especially in the winter. I think about everyone safe and warm inside. And talk

about warm…” Her walk had been brisk and she pulled off the shapeless mass of

the hat and briefly wiped at her perspiring forehead. “What’s wrong?” she asked

seeing her daughter’s grim expression. “I know that look. I first saw it when

you were eight. You disapprove of something. Don’t you like my hat?”

“I looks like it got run over by a truck.”

“So it does, but it does the job. Besides, I made this one myself.”

“But you don’t knit.”

Looking fondly at the misshapen object, Maggie sighed, “Some people will say I

still don’t.” She cast another look at her daughter. “You disapprove of more

than my hat.”

Scully squirmed. “Mom, it’s just that that outfit makes you look… sort of old.”

A button clearly having been pushed, Maggie flared, trounced a few steps over to

a bus shelter, and dropped herself firmly onto the bench. “In case you haven’t

noticed, I am old, or getting old. One day you’ll realize what it’s like. And

I’m not talking about the aches and pains part — that’s bad enough — but the

narrowing of your options, the limitations on being able to do everything you

still want to do in your life –“

“Mom, stop,” Scully said so sharply that Maggie did stop. “And don’t say such

things to anyone again.” Looking from one grim, young face to another Maggie saw

that there was more going on here than her attire. “Why? What did I say?”

“Because a D.A. could read a motive in there.”

“What? Fox…” Not getting sense from her distraught daughter Maggie turned to her

‘adopted’ son.

As quickly and simply as possible, Mulder told her about the three deaths. There

was no doubt that she was surprised and saddened.

“I knew that they were no longer clients of ours, but not why. Did you know they

were on my delivery route? Yes, you must have known or you wouldn’t have brought

it up.”

“Mom,” Scully explained in control again, “they aren’t just dead. They were

murdered and you were the last person that we know of to have seen them all

alive.”

Maggie’s eyes widened with a dawning expression of horror and sadness. “You

can’t possibly think that I –“

“No, of course not!” Scully exclaimed. “But a D.A. might see that a woman

undergoing a mid-life crisis, who complains about the ‘limitations’ of her life

–“

“Semi-end-of-her-life crisis,” Maggie corrected. “So how did you become

involved?”

Helplessly, Scully shrugged. “It’s not really our jurisdiction. They called the

FBI in because the crimes are similar enough that they might be the work of a

serial killer as well as the fact that the murders cross state lines.” Her eyes

went to her partner almost accusingly, “Then one of our bright young agents

called Mulder in because of some unusual ‘features’ of the case –”

“What features?” Maggie demanded.

“Cats,” Mulder answered with a kind of apologetic cough.

“Excuse me?” Maggie asked, not sure that she had heard correctly.

“Cats,” Mulder coughed again. “All three kept a cat.”

“That’s right. One of the reasons they were assigned as my clients was because

I’m not only _ not _ allergic to cats, but I like them. But I can’t see how

that has anything to do with the murder of those poor people.”

“Neither do I,” Scully murmured nearly, but not entirely inaudibly.

Mulder sighed. “Just tell us what you know about the last time that you saw each

of these people alive.”

Maggie looked hurt. “Do you really think I’m a suspect, Fox?”

Helplessly, Mulder waved a hand. “Just think of it as helping us to determine

time-of-death.”

Thought not altogether satisfied, Maggie gave it some thought. “I’d have to look

at my log to give you exact dates and times. I didn’t talk to Helen that day. I

came to the back door as usual and knocked, but she didn’t answer so let myself

in. I have a key. As important as bringing food, we check on the well-being of

our clients — mental and physical. Helen was lying on her bed asleep but

breathing easily so I didn’t wake her. The last time I saw Angela, she and I

chatted about her new great-grandchild and Ivan complained about his arthritis.

I changed a light bulb in a ceiling fixture for him.”

Without a glance in Scully’s direction, Mulder went on to ask, “What can you

tell us about their cats?”

Eyes round, Maggie proceeded to clasp her hands in her lap while making a

visible effort to comply. “Angela’s was a great big tom. Mycroft, a yellow tabby.

Followed her like a dog. Ivan’s was this white ball of fur, which he brushed

religiously twice a day. Its hair was still everywhere. I tried not to wear

black when I visited Ivan. It had a longer name but he called her Snowball.

Helen’s was a gray and white female. Missy, I think. I didn’t see her or

Snowball much. They didn’t like strangers but Mycroft would sit in your lap,

anyone’s lap. Does that help?”

Mulder sighed again. “I have no idea. Would you like a ride home? It’s cold.”

“Not when you’re walking it isn’t, which I’m not any more, but my neighborhood

watch meeting is just two houses up the street.” She glared at them pointedly,

“And no one there accuses me of murder or criticizes my hat,” and Maggie

proceeded to dump the lopsided tangle of wool on her head as she rose to do just

that.

“Mom,” Scully called after her, “I’m really sorry. I didn’t handle that very

well.”

Maggie paused, smiling softly. “No, you didn’t, but you’re forgiven.” A few

steps further and she took a moment to look back at the two of them. Dana wore a

bereft expression like the one last seen on the ten-year-old Dana when the

family dog died; her ‘son’ stood with shoulders hunched, hands deep in the

pockets of his long coat.

“Don’t you wait too much longer, you two. Life is shorter than you think.”

Jan 24, 6pm

Having no heart for food or even for a night on the couch before a movie, they

headed for the scene of the first murder, Angela Uba. She had lived in a tiny

duplex in the D.C. side of Takoma Park. It was an isolated place near a railroad

track and just as dreary inside as out. Clearly the person who had lived there

had been chronically ill for too long to do much more than the most rudimentary

house-keeping. The detective who let them in was well versed enough in the case

to answer most of their questions.

“And where is the cat now?” Mulder asked. “Mycroft, was it?”

“Animal shelter,” the detective answered. “Almost jumped into the cat carrier it

was so lonely. Has the run of the place now, I hear.”

Wearily they turned to Ivan Pulaski’s neat, gothic revival. It sat with its back

against a dark, looming parkland. Its red-shingled roof was almost lost in the

branches of the trees and three-quarters of its brickwork had been invaded by

English ivy. A single turret stood gracefully beside the front door, it’s cone-

shaped roof reaching to the second floor. Despite the presence of its feline

familiar, here was the romantic beauty of Tolkien’s English heritage and not the

lair of any witch or warlock. They found no garden troll on the doorstep,

however, only a tired-looking Lyndon Frieze.

“Heard you were coming,” he explained as he used a key to open the front door.

“You look as if you had as successful of a day as we did,” Mulder muttered as

the young agent used a latex-gloved hand to reach for a light switch.

“From the expressions on your faces, better than the two of you,” was Lyndon’s

reply as a foyer with high walnut wainscoting sprang into view. The rooms

opening on either side, small formal living and dining rooms, matched with their

dark wainscoting and pale stucco above. They were furnished in a graceful and

classic style, all dark wood and cream upholstery with here and there a splash

of color.

‘Nice place,’ was Scully’s thought. ‘Not expensive but elegant, if a little dark.

Mulder would love living here.’ When she saw the small study, its walls floor to

ceiling with books, she was sure of it.

Lyndon led them up a stairway, each tred so deeply carpeted that their steps

made no sound. Half way up the steps turned within the turret they had seen from

the outside. A window seat was constructed under each of the two oversized

arrow-slit windows. Between them on the wall, in what was clearly a place of

honor, hung an icon of Michael the Archangel. Its gold leaf and tiny pinpoints

of jewel colors reflected the yellowish light of a brass and glass fixture that

hung from a chain from the point of the turret roof above.

They had just reached the second floor and Lyndon was searching the shadowy wall

for the hallway light switch when a ghostly form, low to the ground, darted

across their path. Startled, Scully jumped and stopped still and was promptly

run into from behind by Mulder. Only by grabbing for the head of the handrail

did he stop himself from pitching down the stairs.

“What the…!” Mulder exclaimed even as he felt his partner’s touch on his arm,

steadying him.

“I think we found our demon cat,” she said, “at least temporarily.” Like some

will-o-the-wisp, the gray streak was gone.

The bedroom, the murder site, was all hunter green and beige beneath the

comfortable day-to-day clutter of a single man who had not had time to put his

affairs in order. Lyndon began to speak but a gesture from Scully stopped him.

Mulder was silently ‘feeling’ up the room, not only with his eyes, but with his

whole body, long hands raised like medium. A few minutes later at a nod from

Mulder they left for what from the thin layer a dust was an infrequently used

guestroom. In addition to a bed and small bureau there were two comfortable

chairs with a lamp table between them. Mulder dropped into one of the chairs,

long legs sprawled and gestured to the young agent. “Sit. Tell us what you

have.”

clip_image004

Perching on the corner of a cream chenille bedspread, Lyndon pulled out a small

dog-eared notebook, which in truth was a dog-chewed notebook. “I’m not sure what

it means. All three victims did take their cats to the same veterinary office,”

Mulder sat up a little straighter, “but to different vets in the practice. No

other similarities. I did find this, though,” he extended a scrap of paper,

“with the records for Maxilla’s Mischance Pulaski, AKA ‘Snowball Pulaski’.”

Scully took the paper, which seemed to be cut from a glossy magazine, and asked

as she read, “With a formal name like that, Snowball, was — is — purebred?”

Mulder’s eyes flickered with interest.

“A pure white Turkish Van,” Lyndon replied. “One blue eye, one amber eye.

Relatively rare markings for the breed and show quality but no champion.”

Scully continued to read. All at once she sat up still staring at the paper. “I

need to see Maxilla’s vet.”

Being nearly eight p.m. Mulder, Scully and Lyndon agreed to meet the slight,

fair-haired veterinarian at a neighborhood bar.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Tami Nash explained in a slight southern drawl, “I enjoy

talking genetics, but after a whole day of dealing with socially maladjusted

canines, I just have to get out.”

“We understand,” Scully said. “What we need is simple, I hope.” She handed over

the clipping which Lyndon had given her. “This came from Snowball Pulaski’s file.

This is from a top cat breeder’s digest and describes Pontifar, a rare lavender-

eyed, ring-tailed, Turkish Van. He is unique in my understanding in that he did

not trigger the typical reaction with any of a hundred individuals reported as

being medium to heavily allergic to cats.”

The woman looked with soulful eyes at the picture in the clipping. “Yes, I

remember this. Tragically, he escaped from his handler, lost his head in traffic

and was killed.”

“So an absolutely unique gene was lost. If the trait bred true, kittens of his

would have been worth thousands, not to mention the prestige to the breeder.”

“At least,” Nash agreed, “because Turkish Vans are luxurious animals. Almost any

cat owner would prefer them over your hairless breeds which many cat lovers with

mild allergies keep at pets. Interestingly, it’s not the hair but cat dander and

their saliva that people are allergic to. Light-colored, long haired breeds have

even been found to be less allergenic so it’s not totally surprising to see this

rare trait coming up in something like the Turkish Van. The Turkish Vans, in

case you don’t know, is a type of medium-haired magpie. That is a bi-color. One

of the most common coat patterns is generally referred to as a ‘tuxedo’. Turkish

Van’s, however, are largely white. Any contrasting color, if found, is primarily

on the head and tail. Very striking.”

“And the article states that Maxilla’s Mischance, Ivan Pulaski’s Snowball, was

Pontifar’s mother,” Scully said. “So the genes aren’t entirely lost. Did Mr.

Pulaski consider breeding her?”

“We had many conversations after Pontifar’s uniqueness was discovered.” Nash

took a sip from her beer. “He was even in contact with the owner of Pontifar’s

sire only he was worried about the dangers of pregnancy. He loved that animal.

You’ve seen her I take it?”

“Actually, she’s been making herself scarce,” Lyndon reported, “though she’s

somewhere in the house. Food laid out for her disappears.”

“She must be frantic. Anyway, Mr. Pulaski ordered a complete work-up on Snowball

before he would consider breeding her. I take it that he was a rather solitary

individual who seldom left his house after his wife died. Snowball was all he

had. In the end, he decided that the dangers were too great. She had her first

and only other pregnancy when she was too young and things went wrong. This was

before Mr. Pulaski acquired her. I agreed with his decision not to breed her

again. Could be fatal.”

“But maybe not.”

“Maybe not, but Mr. Pulaski needed her companionship more than he needed the

money. He was also offered quite a high sum to purchase her outright.”

Mulder perked up. “Do you know by whom?”

Nash shook her head and took a longer swallow of her beer. “No, though he

complained to me once about being harassed.” Mulder and Scully exchanged glances.

When they turned back the vet’s expression had changed to one of mild surprise.

She began to rise from the table. “Excuse me a moment, but I think I see someone

I know. I’ll be right back.”

They paid little attention as Nash greeted a nondescript sort of man sitting

alone with his back to them two tables from theirs. “If Pulaski refused to breed

or sell and never left his home, making theft difficult, then we may have found

our motive,” Scully suggested.

“And the other two murders were just ‘copycats’?” Mulder asked.

Scully groaned though from Mulder’s grim expression she knew that he found no

humor in the thought of two elderly people being killed merely to serve as a

smokescreen for a single intended victim. “The tragedy is that even if our perp

has the dame and the original sire, it may still take dozens of pairing to

reproduce a Pontifar.”

“Not fifty or twenty-five percent?” Lyndon asked.

“This is not simple high school wrinkled pea, smooth pea genetics here,” Scully

explained. “It’s a mixture of genes, more like looking for one wrinkled, yellow,

spotted pea among thousands of smooth, green peas. Maybe five percent; maybe one

percent. I’m not current with advances in veterinary science, but if the

technology were available and I were an unscrupulous professional breeder and I

had a female with Snowball’s history, I’d put her on huge doses of fertility

hormones to ripen the eggs. I’d then harvest them and fertilize them in the lab

with the right sperm. The fertilized eggs could then be implanted in multiple

surrogate females. In that way it would be possible, if expensive, to create

hundreds of offspring, vastly improving the chances of creating another

Pontifar.”

“I’d hate to see that tom’s child support payments,” Mulder murmured.

Scully allowed herself a thin smile. “In any case, the chances would be far

better than keeping poor Snowball constantly pregnant for the rest of her nine

lives if much more technically complicated. But then if this extreme

hypoallergenicity were due to a single spontaneous mutation, then they may never

be able to reproduce it.” Scully had been scanning the vet’s records as she

talked. Now she pointed to a later entry in Snowball’s history. “Look, here. The

harassment must have picked up. Six months later he and Dr. Nash actually

discussed hysterectomy for Snowball which would remove the ovaries as well, but

not to harvest the eggs, only to make her worthless in the eyes of certain

people. They went back and forth on that for months. The last note here

indicates that he was coming around to that decision.”

“Panic time for our mysterious breeder,” Mulder noted.

Lyndon raised an eyebrow. “You’re right about the panic. There’s a police report

of a break a month before the murder but only a watch and a pair of gold cuff

links were taken.”

“But not Snowball because, being skittish around strangers, she was obviously no

where to be found,” Scully said approvingly.

“After that Pulaski got a security system,” Lyndon read.

“So our perp needed another way into the house,” Mulder said.

“The Lots in a Pot drivers!” Lyndon exclaimed so loudly that the partners

gestured in unison for him to keep his voice low. “You suspected from the

start!” He said excitedly to Scully. “That’s why you were looking so closely at

the delivery containers. The LIP volunteers have got to be involved in some way

with the murders.”

Mulder coughed discretely. Scully flushed but only so much, as Mulder would

notice. “True, we have been looking into that,” she told the young agent. “LIP

is probably the source but we don’t believe that the driver is involved, at

least not criminally so. We think they are being used. LIP volunteers always

have the means to let themselves in since that’s part of their function — to

check on their clients who usually live alone and who might be sick or hurt and

unable to get to the door.”

“Think of it this way,” Mulder went on, describing the scene. “The LIP volunteer

inactivates the alarm if there is one, unlocks the door, announces herself and

goes in. While the driver goes to check on their client, the door is unlocked,

maybe even left open, and our perp can just walk in and hide until the volunteer

leaves.”

“You referred to this fictitious volunteer as ‘she’,” Lyndon said. “Do you have

one particular driver in mind?”

“Most LIP volunteers are female,” Mulder answered a bit too quickly, so much so

that Lyndon raised a suspicious eyebrow. “Besides, I think that we are looking

for two people. One who saw the article about Pontifar in Snowball’s records and

one who has access to LIP’s schedules and the other elderly people on that

volunteer’s route.”

“But why target other cat owners?” Lyndon asked. “Wouldn’t non-cat-owners make

for a better smokescreen?”

A little desperately, Mulder sought Scully’s eye. Lyndon’s point was far too

sharp. Luckily, Scully was already adding “Thursdays…” in an attempt to

complicate matters. “All the deaths occurred on a Thursday so wherever he works

now, our perp seems to have Thursdays off.”

But the young agent’s expression showed that he had already become distracted in

another direction. He was staring up to where Nash was still talking to the man

whom she obviously knew. Lyndon was soon furtively skimming through the dog-

chewed notebook. “I know that man,” he reported to the partners in a fast, low

voice, “the one Nash is speaking to. He’s a veterinary assistant in Nash’s

practice. He retrieved Snowball’s records for me. Took his time doing it, too. I

took down his name from his ID badge. DuPres. Jonathan DuPres.”

Scully raised both eyebrows at Mulder. “Coincidence again?”

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…. I think we’d like for you to look

into the background of Mr. DuPres, Lyndon, since you’re practically old friends

already. For example, does he have Thursdays off? Also, see if you can find out

if he has any connection with anyone at LIP. Also, who currently owns Pontifar’s

sire or do they have such things as feline sperm bank and is he a donor. We’ll

take care of the LIP contact.”

Once alone in their own car again Scully asked, “Why _ would _ the perp target

only cat owners? As Lyndon says, damn him, it doesn’t make sense.”

Mulder started the engine. “The fact that that all have cats may be due, like

your Mom said, to her having so many cat owners as clients since she’s not

allergic and actually likes the beasts. She was probably singled out at LIP to

‘take the fall’ only because she had Pulaski on her route but we have to prove

this before Lyndon’s superiors start getting itchy for a progress report.”

Act III

Jan. 26, 11:30am

Just before noon on a sunny, winter day, a white medical assistance van pulled

up in front of Ivan Pulaski’s brick and ivy home. A petite brunette in dark-

rimmed glasses and a practical but shapeless coat got out from behind the

driver’s seat and went around to the sliding van door to assist a thin, elderly

man in exiting the van. As she handed the frail old man his walker, he grumbled

and began to swear loudly in a thick Eastern European accent. Crotchety with

impatience, he began shuffling along towards the house moaning over how Ivan had

died leaving his whole house for his poor cousin Boris to have to clean out and

how he wasn’t a young man any more.

Grasping a portable oxygen tank in one hand and a suitcase in the other, his

‘nurse’ hurried to catch up. A brand new cat carrier sat in full view on the top

of the pile of luggage visible through the van’s open rear door. Over his loud

protests the small woman took the old man’s arm to assist him painfully up the

four steps and onto the front porch.

“Pull back on the awful accent,” Scully warned in a whisper close to the well-

known ear, “or he won’t be able to understand a word you’re saying.”

In answer the old man harrumphed loudly and fumbled for a full five minutes with

a ring of keys before he hobbled inside.

Once away from any windows the old man straightened up but not without clutching

his lower back. “Being old is going to kill me,” Mulder grumbled in his own

voice.

Scully scratched at the edge of her dark wig. “And here I thought Halloween was

in October.”

“You make a fetching brunette,” he leered, swooping down to nibble an ear, but

she only swatted his attentions away.

“And you’re a dirty, old man.”

“Someday. Now I’m only a dirty, not-quite-so-young man.”

“I’d better go bring in the rest of the luggage,” she announced and turned on

her heel and marched outside. Three trips later and it was all piled in the

small living room where in full view of the room’s largest window Mulder sat

sprawled with his legs far apart and his arms on the armrests of a deeply

upholstered chair, his walker by his side. “You don’t like my plan,” he sulked.

Forcing herself not to overtly snarl at him, Scully did allow herself a frown.

“I never have. You have your basketball buddies over in drug surveillance make

you up like some sort of Methuselah. Then you show up here trying to lure our

perp out of hiding by making him think that Ivan’s cousin has come to clear out

the house, including the cat. This assumes that he’s watching the house.”

“I assume he is, if only with a hidden video camera. ‘Boris’ even showed up at

LIP early this morning to loudly sign up for meal delivery starting tomorrow. He

was clear that he would only be in town a few days.”

“And Maggie is not scheduled to drive,” Scully said. “I made sure of that. If

Mom has been picked to be the scapegoat in this mess they’ll have to find a way

to change the schedule. It’s just the ‘they’ we need to find.”

“Remember that she can’t know about the masquerade,” he went on. “We know she’s

innocent, but we have to have proof for the rest of the world. Jonathan DuPres,

our eavesdropper of the other night, is clearly half of the team. Cream of the

crop that one: Age forty-five,” Mulder repeated from memory, “one-time furniture

salesman, one-time supermarket checker, one-time lawn service employee, and

currently veterinary assistant.”

“Who still lives with his mother — ”

“– and is desperate not to be, I’ll bet,” Mulder observed.

“You’d feel the same way if your two-bedroom apartment was also home to thirteen

cats. Mulder, you know why I’m against this. I don’t think the possible gain is

worth the risk, not when we’re so close without it. We know from his mother that

he picks up her prescriptions at the hospital pharmacy when there are a dozen

pharmacies closer. He has some reason to go there besides that. To meet his

contact probably. Sooner or later we’ll find that contact.”

“But we don’t have a name yet or what kind of job that person holds.” Mulder

made a motion to scratch at his make-up but forced himself to make an irritated

gesture instead. “He’s also dropped from sight, which his mother says that he

does from time to time, mostly to gamble, but who knows what he’s up to this

time. Worse, he knows that the FBI is sniffing around the veterinary office

where he works. He’s got to be worried, the kind of worried that can make a

person do something stupid. Scully, it’s imperative that we flush both of these

characters out as soon as possible. What if DuPres decides that they need to

suffocate another old person this week just to thicken the smokescreen?”

“So we arrange for him not to suffocate any ‘unknown’ old person, only you?”

Mulder leered again. “But I’m hard to suffocate, as you should know, my little

lamprey.”

The memory of a recent marathon kissing session when she had tired to ‘steal his

breath away’, and been successful, flowed through her. When she dared look back

at him again there was heat in his ‘old’ eyes.

“Cousin Boris and his cat carrier is a threat to any plans they may have.

They’ll need to make new plans, regroup. They won’t move for a day or two.

Tonight at the earliest.” He gestured towards the second floor. “Nothing to do

but wait then. We could try out the guestroom bed,” he suggested with a wink.

“Mulder, someone died in this house!”

“The forensics teams are finished here. Besides, that hasn’t exactly stopped us

before.”

He was right about that. “An authentic medical assistance service would only

linger here long enough to get ‘Boris’ settled. The plan — much as I dislike it

— is that you should be here alone.”

“The better to draw them out, my dear.” His long fingers began stroking the arm

of the chair as they so often stroked the skin of her back. She found herself

staring transfixed at that hand. “Come on, Scully, I’ll be here all alone

tonight. A quickie on the study floor. All those musty books for company. The

windows are heavily curtained already.”

She wavered, tried to think of an excuse and wavered again. He saw that and

began making feeble attempts to get out of the chair. Dutifully, she went over

to take his arm and help him begin tottering towards the back of the house.

“You’ll be gentle with me, won’t you?” he asked in his most ancient of voices.

“Of course, I will, but only to save wear and tear on your makeup, not because

you deserve it.”

1 pm

Hastily, Scully straightened her wig in the hall mirror. “Try not to play the

hero while I’m gone,” she warned him.

Mulder rolled an eye even as he reapplied black lines of mascara on either side

of his mouth. Kissing _ was _ hard on makeup, even when you’re careful.

He hobbled with his walker out onto the porch with her. They both shivered

automatically. In the hour they had been in the house the wind had picked up and

the air had a wet, chill to it. The blue sky was gone replaced by a sea of thick,

flying, gray clouds.

“Real snow for sure,” Mulder grunted in his Slavic accent and proceeded to take

in a thick breath of air that left him coughing. “Also smells like snow. Besides,

almanac says so. Three inches.”

“Five,” Scully challenged in a low voice, “or you pay for Starbucks for a week.”

It was a game of theirs, but then predicting the weather in the D.C. area was

always a gamble.

“Done!” Mulder whispered back but didn’t drop the accent. “Won’t keep the

delivery lady from coming, will it? Neither rain nor snow, nor dead of night—“

“That’s mailmen and five inches? My mom? She was raised in New England. She’ll

be here… What are you doing?”

The ‘old’ man was half-bending, half-falling down, long trembling fingers

reaching for one of a half-dozen newspapers which had been delivered since Ivan

Pulaski’s death. With a sigh of exasperation, she picked them up for him so that

their hands had an excuse to touch before she headed back to the van.

Dressed once again in her own clothes and without the awful wig, Scully stopped

at the FBI field office in South Baltimore and signed up for a visitor terminal.

Despite the backup agent who was staged less than a block from the Pulaski’s

house, she didn’t want to be as far from Mulder as their D.C. office but she

needed access to the FBI’s wider database that even Google didn’t have feelers

into. There was a lot they didn’t know about their chief suspect and his

supposed contact at LIP. And it wouldn’t do any good to catch him if they didn’t

have the evidence to hold him and confirm her mother’s innocence. Now she had

access to all the employee and volunteer records from LIP and everything they

had been able to come up with on Jonathan DuPres. With determination she began

crosschecking backgrounds.

9 pm

Hours later she found it. Good old-fashioned police work. Her last query had

come up with a match between DuPres and a security guard at the hospital who had

recently begun volunteering at LIP some evenings and on a few his days off.

Rubin Sweet. DuPres had been a student at Towson University when Sweet had been

a security guard there. She had also found how Sweet had probably been pulled

into the scheme. DuPres not only played poker but was preparing to finance his

future life by gambling, of which he was clearly very good. DuPres probably made

all those trips to the hospital because he had a little game going on off hours.

Certainly Sweet’s bank account showed large withdrawals over the past six months.

How much did he still owe? Enough to pay it off by volunteering at LIP, thus

obtaining access to the delivery schedules? Enough to break in and commit

murder? Also DuPres had Thursdays off and Sweet mostly worked nights.

Before she could call Mulder with the news, her cell phone buzzed. As she feared,

it was Tippett, Mulder’s backup.

“Got a problem, Harry?” Scully pounced, having detected a note of excitement in

the young agent’s voice.

“McAlester has turned himself in,” Harry Tippett reported in a rush. “That’s the

interstate fraud case I’ve been working on for the past two months. They want me

in the office ASAP. I’ve called for a replacement but there will be a gap in his

getting here.”

Scully felt a loosening in most but not all of the tension in her back. Not a

huge problem. Having a backup in place was part of their trying to take proper

precautions for once. They didn’t expect a visit from their perp until the next

day when the LIP volunteer — Maggie Scully — made her first delivery. “How

long of a gap?”

“Half hour, probably longer what with all this snow.”

The tension locked around her spine again. “How much snow?”

“What planet have you been living on, Agent Scully. There’s ten inches on the

ground and it’s still coming down like a house-afire.”

Her hand clenched and unclenched around the pen she held. She barely remembered

the lowering clouds and the bet she had laughingly made with Mulder. Then for

the first time she realized how quiet the usually busy office had been for some

time. Of course, this was the Baltimore-Washington area and the first

significant snowfall of the year. The roads would be clogged before the first

flake fell, its citizenry manic. Not a loaf of bread, a quart of milk, or roll

of toilet paper would be left on any shelf in any store in the area, and every

employee that could would had headed for home hours before.

She realized that Tippett was calling her name. “Sorry. I’ve been down in the

tombs of the South Baltimore station for the past — “she stared at her watch in

amazement “ — six hours.”

“Then I hope that you have four-wheel drive, otherwise you might be there for

another six, or more likely twelve hours,” Tippett informed her. “They’re

predicting at least eighteen inches now.”

“Eighteen inches! What happened to four?”

She sensed a shrug on the other end of the line. “A low pushed up from the Gulf

and got stalled by highs in the Midwest and New England leaving the storm right

over us with no place to go. But enough weather report. If I don’t get moving I

won’t make it to the station and you know that these scumbag lawyers don’t

respect snow delays.”

“Okay, go,” she told him. “Just urge your replacement to get there as soon as he

can.”

The connection broke and she dashed for the elevator. The first floor was just

as silent as the basement had been. She skidded to a halt by the employee lounge.

The large windows looked out on — black. She found the switch and turned off

the lights. Now she could clearly see the falling of the thick snow by the

parking lot’s security lights. There was an unbroken blanket everywhere except

for one solitary lump the size of her car.

Mulder had been going through Ivan Pulaski’s papers in study and bedroom, attic

and basement. He had spent the last few hours in a third bedroom on the second

floor. There seemed to be nothing there but paperwork. The man kept everything.

But did he keep an offer to buy his cat? It would be helpful to have that kind

of evidence if they were unable to catch the man red-handed. When Mulder’s cell

phone rang he had to return to the guest bedroom to retrieve it from the pocket

of his jacket. More time must have passed than he thought because the house was

totally dark except for the light in the bedroom where he had been working. By

the time he reached it, the phone had stopped ringing but he didn’t need to call

up his messages or missed calls log to guess who it had been. Her research must

have borne fruit. He called back. “You have news?”

She pounced without preamble. “Why didn’t you tell me about what’s been going on

outside?”

“I’ve been working. What has it been going on outside? Wait, what was that?” An

odd, muffled rumble had shaken the house. Mulder cocked an eyebrow. “Thunder?

Couldn’t be.”

“Ever hear of thundersnow, Mulder? It’s rare, but happens.”

“I know about thundersnow. It usually means inches per hour.” Peering though

slats in the blinds, he was shocked by the transformed street scene. “How much

snow _ have _ we gotten?”

“You don’t want to know. Also your backup had to leave to attend an

arraignment.”

“Well, it’s not like –” Mulder’s voice suddenly cut off. He wouldn’t have heard

the sight sound if it hadn’t been for the unnatural silence of the muffling snow

and the empty roads. It seemed like the grinding of a door being unhappily

opened somewhere, perhaps in the garage. Shit. “I think I have company, Scully,”

he reported in a hushed, tense voice.

“It might not be DuPres. It might be a hospital security guard named Rubin Sweet.

Sweet owes DuPres a lot of money.”

Mulder swore softly and reached for his service weapon. Not there. The stiff

leather of his new shoulder holster had been digging into his side. He had taken

if off and left it… where? In the master bedroom on the bed in plain view.

Stupid. The house had been so peaceful, but still stupid. The master bedroom was

on the other end of the house, but the hallway was carpeted. He should be able

slide down easily before whoever was tampering with the garage door could get in.

The door from the garage to the house was locked; of that he was sure. He

couldn’t risk any more lights though.

“Mulder, what’s going on!” Scully was demanding from the other end of the call.

“I’ll be right with you. I have to –“ He had begun soft-footing it down the hall.

It was nearly black but he remembered the layout; pass the entrance to the

stairway, then two more doorways and he’d be there. Suddenly there came a

glimmer near his feet, a ghostly white shape streaked across his path.

Unfortunately he hadn’t seen what Scully had before or he wouldn’t have been so

surprised. A whisper of Lyndon’s original demon cat theory flitted across his

mind. Deftly, Mulder stepped aside to miss the phantom, or so he thought. At the

last moment the form changed direction with a sinuous leap. Mulder stepped on

something soft that screeched and rolled. Losing his balance, he grasped for the

head of the railing post but it come off in his hand just as it did in Jimmy

Stewart’s in It’s a Wonderful Life. He found the black void that was the unlit

first floor not coming up to meet him, but he was definitely going down to meet

it. There were eight steps to the landing and he hit every one.

Scully found herself screaming into the phone, her voice bouncing eerily off the

glass of the empty employee lounge. There was no answer, however, but a long,

odd roll of thunder from outside where the snow, if anything, was descending

even more heavily than before. Ten more seconds of silence from the headset and

she began to run.

Back down the steps she went to the computer room where she had left her coat,

laptop and notes. She knew from Tippett’s call that she should still have signal

in the basement. The signal bars still glowed, but there was no answer to her

demands that Mulder answer. There were only odd scratching noises that could be

the sounds of a battle too far away from the phone to be picked up clearly or

just as easily be static. Much as she hated to take the time, she paused at a

desk to stab in ‘9-911’ on one of the office phones. She had no illusions about

her ability to travel dependably in this weather. The stressed-old dispatcher if

anything was even more discouraging. “We have limited vehicles that can navigate

safely under these conditions and all are tied with other emergencies. Can you

be more specific about the nature of yours?” Scully wanted to scream ‘Officer

down!’ but had to admit that she had no way of knowing that for sure. The noises

from the garage Mulder had heard could have come from a noisy water heater, an

old furnace, or raccoons and she had heard no shot, just some grunts and banging

about. He had been fumbling around in the dark. He could have bumped a knee then

dropped the phone, which was now malfunctioning. Damn she needed more

information! In the end she could only request that an officer might need

assistance, give the location, her cell phone number, and flee.

Outside the rear entrance to the building, she paused only a moment as she

fished for her keys in the deep pocket of her coat. Juggling awkwardly with

phone, keys, notebooks and laptop, she prepared to ferry out into the dismaying

expanse of unbroken snow to her car. Nothing to be done but to plunge in. Even

when walking in the tracks of cars which had fled for home less than two hours

before, Scully found that the snow was well over her ankles. Her feet were cold

and wet within seconds. A sweep of her arm cleared the trunk lid where she

dumped in everything but keys and cell phone and fished around for the ice

scraper. As she swept away the worst of the cold, white stuff from the hood and

windows of the car, a glow of lightning lit up this upside-down fairyland. The

thunder that followed rolled and rolled across the sky. As if in response, it

seemed to snow harder. It was coming down so fast that her windshield was

covered almost as fast as she could clear it. Finally she was behind the wheel,

windshield wipers on high. Still, she barely dared to touch the accelerator as

her car rolled carefully out of the uncleared parking lot, snow groaning under

her tires. The side street she turned into was not much better.

clip_image005

10pm

She finally made time on a snow emergency route but not because it had seen a

plow. Some four-wheel drive monster must have gone up the same way no more than

ten minutes before. Other than these two tracks that were already white, her

world was quickly limited to the meager yards that her headlights could cut

through. Beyond that cone, the night was all blue-gray ground and formless black

sky that brightened from time by time by the ghostly lightening. Belatedly, she

realized how devoid of color the night was. It had been blocks since she had

seen a working traffic light. Not unexpectedly for an area that saw such storms

only every five years or so, dragging tree limbs had already taken down power

lines and transformers all over the city.

The minutes crawled by. Scully gripped the steering wheel so tightly that her

hands cramped. Neither did she have a hand free to hold the cell phone though

from time to time she shouted down to where it lay on the seat beside her. No

answering voice came back.

After what felt like hours, Scully began to notice familiar lines in the

streetscape of buildings and trees that even the drifts and heaps of thick snow

and the dark could not make entirely unrecognizable. This was the area where her

mother ran her day-to-day errands. Knowing where she was, Scully realized that

she could cut off some time if she dared. She paused in the middle of the street

— it wasn’t as if there was anyone to have an accident with — and picked up

the silent cell phone. Praying that she was doing the right thing and that the

chirping of Mulder’s phone wouldn’t call attention to him at a bad time, she

hung up the call and tried again. She screamed as the phone displayed ‘No

Service’. Of course, the storm would disrupt the microwave towers and everyone

would be calling loved ones who were not home or just clogging up the airways

chatting about how horrible the weather was. All of that meant that emergency

calls – like hers! – could not get through.

Swearing in frustration, she threw the phone back down on the seat and guided

her car into a sliding left turn onto a side street. The smaller road could not

have seen another car in hours and yet was a straight shot to where her own

loved one was. But in what shape? Injured? Dead? Foolishly stumbling around a

black, unfamiliar house looking for a flashlight or candles? Pulaski’s house

would undoubtedly be as dark as all the other houses around her by now.

Progress on this new road was slow. The snow was easily up to the undercarriage

of her car in places. There were no tracks going her way but then there were

none on the cross streets either so at least she could keep the car going in a

reasonably straight course. Deciding where the edges of the road were was

another matter. She sighed in relief when the street became tree-lined and the

black trunks against the misty-white field of snow gave her a guide. The

drooping branches overhead, mostly pines, also caught an amazing quantity of the

white stuff so the inches under her tires lessened and her visibility improved

so she dared to increase her speed. Finally she was making some time.

Feeling confident enough at last to free a hand for the phone, she tried another

call. The green glow of ‘No Service’ continued to leer at her. During that

second of distraction she failed to notice that the road ahead was no longer an

infinitely unbroken expanse of white. A faint black line, unclear in outline but

unmistakably there, had appeared. Even when she saw it, it took a few more

precious seconds to interpret what she was seeing. It was a tree, an aged blue

spruce brought down by the weight on its branches but long enough ago that it

was almost entirely covered with snow. Throwing down the phone, two hands on the

wheel again, she gently tapped the brakes and turned more sharply than she would

have wished. The tree did not seem to cover the entire road. With luck she

should be able to pass it on the right.

Their luck must have taken an early flight to Florida. The car began to slide.

It may have been packed snow from earlier in the day or old ice. It didn’t

matter. The car spun and spun as if she were on some slow-motion amusement park

ride. Turning into the skid didn’t help; her tires were that caked with snow.

Her car, and possibly Mulder’s salvation, ended up sliding tail first into a

ditch on the side of the road. The front wheels of her front-wheel drive car

spun uselessly in the air. In despair Scully dropped her forehead down onto the

steering wheel.

From the shadowed floor where she had thrown it, her cell phone began to ring.

End of Act III

11:30pm

Mulder had had worst falls. He had broken bones, dislocated joints and suffered

more concussions than were good for anyone. He had fallen in worse places —

onto hard pavement, parked cars, among rocks and in cold and rainy woods dozens

of miles from help. Falling down stairs was totally mundane, but then so was

falling in your own bathtub. At least the steps had been well carpeted, and

there had been only eight of them; he knew because he had a bruise for each one.

He had also come to rest on a landing, just as well padded, in a warm house in

an old Baltimore neighborhood while a once-a-decade storm raged outside. Things,

therefore, could be worse. Granted, he had no gun and no cell phone. What he had

was a back in a conflagration of pain and someone — very probably their three-

time murderer — was methodically searching the first floor.

From time to time Mulder could look down and see the gray light of the man’s

flashlight flickering off windowpanes, light fixtures, and the glass fronts of

cabinets. There was no other light, not even the light that he knew he had left

burning in the third bedroom above him. The storm must have disrupted electric

service. All Mulder knew for sure was that he had passed out, and woke

completely in the dark. Oh, yes, and any attempt to move caused all his limbs to

involuntarily contract and brought tears of indescribable agony to his eyes.

For long minutes he lay there, frantically concentrating on relaxing — a

contradiction if ever there was one. He was pretty sure of what the problem was

and what to do because he had thrown out his back before and super strength

muscle relaxants were what Scully had prescribed then. This time, however, there

was no Scully standing over him with weapon drawn, prepared to deal with the

perp on one hand while she dispensed her pharmacy of good drugs with the other.

In comparison his mind games seemed pretty lame.

So here he was, nearly blind in the dark and totally helpless. He had had a cell

phone once. He had even been talking on it at the time he had plunged down the

stairway. But where was the instrument now? Even if he knew he doubted that he

would be able to get to it.

‘Stay calm,’ he raged to himself again. He knew from before that anger only

locked the muscles tighter as if squeezed in a gigantic vice. Damn, but the

tightening spasms around his ribs were so bad that he could barely breathe.

There was a weight on his chest too. Fear racketed up a notch. Please, not a

heart attack; not that, not at his age. Not when he had just found…

But then heart attacks don’t rumble on your breastbone like a very small

motorboat.

Scully leaped for the ringing phone, finally pulling it out from under the seat.

“Mulder…” she began anxiously.

“Sorry,” apologized an only moderately familiar male voice in her ear, “just

Lyndon, and before you ask I’m stuck at Baltimore-Washington hospital. And where

are you celebrating the great snow-in? Clearly you’re not shacked up snug and

safe with Agent Mulder.”

Scully felt a wave of unease, but there was no way that Lyndon knew about their

relationship. He could only guess like all but the very few. “Neither snug nor

safe. I’m stuck in a snow drift about five miles from Pulaski’s house.”

There was a pause while Lyndon took this in. “That doesn’t sound good. I mean

about your car, not the other thing. Mulder on his way to rescue you?”

“Unfortunately not. He’s playing stalking goat at Pulaski’s and now he’s

stranded without a car or backup. Worse, he was cut off suddenly the last time

we talked and I haven’t been able to get any service on my cell since. How did

you ever get through?”

“It’s totally a volume problem or so I hear. It’s hit or miss getting a

connection. I’ve had nothing to do — except try not to be enlisted to pass out

bedpans since they are so short-shaffed — so I’ve been calling everyone I know.

You’re the first person I’ve been able to reach. So how did you get caught out

in this?”

”Backing Mulder up. He was hearing noises from the garage the last we talked.

Tippett had to leave and his replacement hadn’t arrived.”

“You tried 911?”

“Got through, but what can they do in this?”

Scully heard the edge in her voice; part fury, part fear. Sitting in her useless

car, in the total dark, how could she help it? But her anxiety was not for

herself. She was in the middle of a well-settled neighborhood. Knock on a few

doors, show her ID and some citizen would take her in. But Mulder… What in the

hell had happened — was happening — to him?

“I’m coming,” said Lyndon firmly. “How far away is the hospital from where you

are. Can’t be far.”

“Two miles, maybe, but Lyndon…” She’d seen what he was driving. It was no better

than her own.

His voice sounded distant as if he were already on the move. “I can do this. We

have snow in Texas, in my part anyway. Where do you think I got this first name?

Anyway, how can I make it any worse?” Scully could think of about half a dozen

ways but before she could interrupt, he continued, “There are emergency vehicles

here but very few. The storm caught everyone by surprise. I can’t even attempt

to commandeer one unless you’re sure the problem with Mulder is an emergency.

Are you?”

“No, I’m not sure,” she admitted through gritted teeth. “Just come then.”

Each left their cell phones on for who knew when either could get a connection

again and she talked him through the familiar streets now totally unfamiliar. He

was a good driver on snow, which meant slow and steady, not foolhardy, no sudden

moves, no stopping on uphill slopes. Still he had to get out from time to time

to brush off street signs so that he could accurately report his location. It

took an hour for him to make the two miles. During that time, Scully had waded

through the ditch drift to her trunk for a better look at what she had in the

way of emergency supplies. She found a pair of ankle high hiking boots, stiff

from cold and inadequate for the foot-and-a-half of snow, but better than her

work shoes. There was some food and the water was frozen, but what was most

useful was a small emergency shovel. It was like trying to empty Lake Michigan

with a spoon. Still, between trips to the car to sit in the dark to warm up, she

cleared the tailpipe and dug a kind of path to the road and tore branches from

the fallen tree to lay on a snow as a marker so Lyndon wouldn’t fall into the

same trap that she had.

Finally through the thick black of the storm, a gray car-shape loomed into sight

within a soft bubble of headlights. Lyndon’s young face was damp with sweat and

etched with strain as he crawled stiffly out and, taking the shovel from her,

dug out around his own idling tailpipe. “We’re not going to make five miles,” he

reported. “The exhaust is dragging in the snow and this poor old thing is

overheating. We need something higher off the ground.”

From his passenger’s seat Scully thought for a long moment, brow furrowed, hair

damply dripping with slush. Then her body straightened to alertness. “Can this

thing make two miles?”

“Probably, if we’re careful,” Lyndon reported.

“Then let’s head for my mother’s. It’s about two miles away and she just brought

home a new SUV to help her with her deliveries and shuttle her older friends

around. She also knows everyone in the neighborhood so she might be able to find

us something better.”

Not needing their own cell connections any longer she tried calling Mulder, her

mother, 911, the FBI switchboard, all in rotation while Lyndon crept on,

windshield wipers frantically trying to keep pace with the storm. When he got

out to clear the tailpipe, she would chop away at the corners of the packed

slush and ice that built up at the far sweep of the wiper blades. She had gloves

but they were already wet so it wasn’t long before her fingers, as well as her

feet, were like that ice. Finally a call got through to Mulder’s phone but her

worries soared when all she got was a busy signal.

“Busy! Who the hell’s he talking to?”

“Did he call you the last time?” Lyndon asked.

Scully found it hard to think clearly as if her brain had also turned to mush.

Then she remembered about how her last call to him had rung with no answer and

that he had called her back almost immediately. “He did.”

Lyndon’s lips tightened in renewed concentration and he gave his unhappy vehicle

just a whisper more of gas. They both had the same thought, that maybe the line

was still open from the original call.

A call that had been abruptly interrupted.

Lyndon continued his slow passage though black, featureless, snow-clogged

streets while Scully hunkered down in her coat and went back to pressing buttons.

Finally she got through to her mother’s house. Her daughter’s demands for use of

her SUV were crisp and edged with urgency.

“This has got to be related to Fox. I think that I can get you something better,

just you get here… That soon? We’ll still be ready.”

Scully didn’t take much notice of the ‘we’ll be ready’ only buttoned her coat

more tightly around her, in preparation for her dash from the car. Twenty

minutes later Lyndon’s wallowing Subaru labored up the last curving street, the

black trunks of old trees standing like ancient centennials to the right and

left. Scully anxiously sat on the edge of her seat peering out even though

visibility was less than twenty yards. A lightening in the distance caused her

to blink and consult her watch. Two a.m. It was no where near dawn yet the glow

grew as they crawled nearer. There were also pale colors in the light as if the

aurora borealis had come to earth. Engine laboring, Lyndon’s car rounded the

crest of the last rise. There was no need for Scully to announce that they had

arrived. As they slid to a weary stop, both stared.

One of Maggie Scully’s neighbors must have a generator because her house and the

ones on either side were brilliantly lit. Every interior light and every

exterior flood were burning. In addition, all three houses were fully

illuminated in holiday displays which may have been turned off after New Years

and Twelfth Night but never taken down. Hundreds of feet of tiny multi-colored

lights, cascades of shimmering ‘icicles’, white prancing reindeer, full-throated

choirboys, and animated Santas lit up the night with festival gaiety. Most

importantly, however, four high-clearance, four-wheel drive vehicles sat on the

street, engines purring and headlights burning. Eyes wide, Scully stepped out of

Lyndon’s weary sedan, which shook like a panting war-horse, to stare wide-eyed

at the largest and most amazing customized van she had ever seen. Each wheel was

half as tall as she was. The cab had been customized so that it could carry ten

or more people with ease.

There were figures everywhere shoveling and talking. One came briskly forward,

recognizable by her disreputable hat and shapeless coat even before anyone could

have made out her features.

“Well, what are we waiting for?” Maggie announced as step ladder dropped down

from the open side door of the monster van. “Let’s go!”

Mulder’s concerns over an incipient heart attack dispelled quickly as the

rumbling weight on his chest began to move and tiny pinpricks found their way

through his shirt to pierce the skin of his chest. His suspicions were confirmed

with the fluffy flag of a tail brushed his nose. It was all he could do not to

sneeze which wouldn’t have helped either the pain in his back or his anonymity.

Yes, Maxilla’s Mischance, AKA Snowball, had finally made an appearance. Even in

the tiny bit of light available to him on the pitch-black landing he could just

make out her outline. In full light she would have been white. Without a doubt

she was the misty-white ball of mysterious ectoplasm that had appeared under his

feet and that was responsible for his being stranded and incapacitated here.

With a wave of his hand – he dare not move more of his arm than that – he tried

to encourage her to move the rest of the way down stairs. If this was their perp

and not a random burglar, maybe the man would just take the damn cat and leave.

Not that Mulder ever liked losing a ‘collar’, but they knew enough that their

chances of finding DuPres again and getting poor Snowball back high. Balancing

the chances of losing Snowball temporarily with losing his life permanently,

therefore, Mulder made an emotional decision and pushed the cat again. She only

dug her claws into the carpet all the harder then bent back to what she had been

doing which was batting something around on the floor just out of his sight. All

at once, a paw made contact. The cat’s current toy made a quiet but unmistakable

‘beep’ and a pale light lit the furry, white face.

No seductive, silver mouse this but his cell phone.

Stuffing a fistful of his old-man’s sweater in his mouth, Mulder reached out,

curled, and rolled towards the instrument. Mulder wasn’t so much distressed by

the scream of pain that surged up and threatened to explode around the mat of

sweater. Pain he could deal with. It was the convulsive way his body thrashed

out involuntarily as the tortured muscles seized giving him so little control.

As his hand flailed in the direction of the glow, Snowball pounced, claws

extended and drew a long line of parallel scratches. “No, I don’t want to play

now!” Mulder growled deep in his throat. The only sound that made it out was a

grunt.

The abused hand finally slide against the phone. Though the hand shook, he

managed to get the instrument up to where he could read the screen. His original

call to Scully was still connected but, not surprisingly, she was long gone.

What must she be thinking? He disconnected and called again. The switching took

an inordinately long time and in the end there was no dial tone. Swearing, he

allowed his hand to drop to the floor.

Within seconds the instrument began to vibrate and chime in his hand. At least

the volume was set low, but it still sounded terrifying loud under the

circumstances. His finger stabbed down on the button even though the action of

raising his arm again sent a knife stab of agony down the length of his back. So

intent was he on silencing the ring that he temporarily forgot that his mouth

was full of musty sweater. He barely heard Scully anxiously repeating his name

as he spat the wad from his mouth.

“I’m here,” he finally answered hoarsely.

“Are you hurt?” was her next question, not ‘Are you in danger?’. How did she

always know?

“You could say so,” he whispered short and petulantly.

“Do you need help?”

“Just a bit,” he snarled.

“You can’t talk, can you?”

“Got it in one.”

There was a pause. She was obviously thinking. “Keep this line open. We’ll be

there in fifteen, twenty minutes. You’ve got to hold out that long.”

“You don’t need to assemble a whole cavalry. A small SWAT team should suffice.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, there’s eighteen inches of snow out here and it’s

still coming down, so I don’t have the cavalry, nor even a single SWAT team

member.”

“What do you have then?” he whispered.

“Mom’s neighborhood watch group.”

Scully placed the call on mute and leaned back against the monster van’s

incongruous glove-leather seat with a sigh of relief. Knowing what she was

facing, even if it was bad, was better than the unknown. Mulder was alive and in

good enough shape to be grumpy about it which was always a good sign. The nine

women and one man around her had heard her end of the conversation and deduced

that there was work to do. All but the man who drove and three who readied cans

of pepper spray began pulling out handguns from pockets and purses.

A mammoth headache began to buildup behind Scully’s eyes. Maggie noticed and

gave her arm reassuring pat. “Don’t worry. They all know what they’re doing. We

all have permits and go to the range once a month.”

At that moment old Mrs. Hampton whose husband had died in Vietnam dropped her

little Smith and Wesson and Frank whose converted van it was — “Better than a

blond and a red convertible,” his wife had testified — turned on the overhead

light so the weapon could be found. While rolling her eyes, Scully noticed for

the first time that all the women wore odd hats or scarves of various shades of

maroon and scarlet and purple. Noticing in the rear view mirror how her eyes

went from the head of one woman after another, Frank touched the brim of his own

jaunty red beret. “Honorary member,” he remarked enigmatically then went back to

his driving.

“Of what?” Scully asked more to herself than anyone.

“I’ll explain it later,” Maggie assured her with a sage smile. “We’re harmless.”

“Mostly harmless,” a spry octogenarian corrected, displaying a can of pepper

spray securely gripped in each liver-spotted hand. The purple feathers in her

red straw hat had seen far better days.

It would have all been surreal fun — as X-Files occasionally were — only

Mulder was not there to enjoy it.

“Can you give this monster a little more speed, Frank?”

The old man tipped his hat. “As you will, Mum,” and the truck leaped forward,

swallowtails of snow flying in its wake.

Mulder lay perfectly still, his heart slowing. For the first time he became

aware of the distinct chill in the air. His fingers and nose were cold. No

electricity must mean no heat. Just great. At least the soft sounds of the

intruder were still far away. Sweet was searching in the basement as he had been

for some time, a quiet kind of searching so that he wouldn’t alarm the cat or

the rest of the house. He would have to begin searching the second floor soon.

It was the only place besides the study that he had not searched. At least there

was no indication that he had heard the cell phone’s signature chirp or the

terse conversation. Good, but only a temporary reprieve. Mulder had to get off

this stairway and out of sight and it might not be a bad idea to have a weapon.

His eyes sought the dark at the top of the stairs. His own weapon in its stiff

leather holster was up there, and he was familiar enough with the layout of the

second floor that he was sure that he could find it even in the dark, but from

where he lay it seemed impossibly far.

A door shut below. Kevin Sweet the hospital security guard, if Sweet it was, was

finished with the basement and had shut the door to keep Snowball from

retreating down there later. Mulder knew that he dare not be seen and he would

be as soon as Sweet came down the hall from the kitchen. Sweet would only need

to swing the flashlight in just the right way. Chomping down on the sweater

again, Mulder rolled with infinite care onto one hip. His body trembled with the

stain of using as many muscles as possible that were not attached to his back,

but his limbs still threatened to twitch beyond his control. He was at least

facing the stairs now. And so he began the slow crawl up the eight steps to the

elusive second floor.

When the flash finally shone from below some minutes later, it first swung from

side to side. Soon enough, however, it touched the lower steps and traveled up

to the landing. So engrossed was the searcher on the brilliant gold of the icon

in the light from his beam that he failed to notice long legs being swung

laboriously over the last tred at the top of the stairs. When the cone of light

finally traveled up to touch the upper stairs, there was nothing to be seen. The

light disappeared into the study.

On the floor of the second floor hallway, Mulder lay belly down. His teeth were

clamped down on the now soggy sweater; his body jerked in spasms. His fingers

had dug into the nap of the rug up to the first knuckle and tears of strain ran

down his cheeks. For all of that, however, he felt an incredible upsurge of

exhilaration. Eight steps weren’t a mountain but it had been his.

3am

Weapon drawn, Scully cautiously approached the dark house. It was dark behind

her as well. The caravan had driven the last block with lights off. At least the

snow deadened not only the approach of SUVs and monster van but voices and

footsteps mounting stairs. That was, of course, if the voices were not too loud.

With irritation Scully spun around to where Lyndon was attempting in terse

whispers to prevent the gang from coming with them. Despite her instructions,

eight dark forms were struggling through the drifts following her tracks.

Furiously, she added a rather rude gesture of her own which managed to slow if

not stop them. Scully groaned. Sometimes there just were civilians around; risk

assessment was part of the job.

“Mom, you can’t come,” she admonished as firmly and quietly as she could.

“Do you think that I’m going to let you go in there alone?” Maggie’s pistol was

in her pocket but they both knew it was there.

“I won’t be alone. Lyndon will be with me, but only if we are certain that you

and your people are safe.”

“This child!” Maggie exclaimed. Lyndon glowered.

“He’s a fully trained agent, Mom.” Maggie looked dubious. “Mom, I need to depend

on you in this and Mulder needs you. What you can do is keep an eye out for our

suspect. He’ll try to escape if he hears Lyndon and I go in. If you see him with

a gun at any time, drop! So far he hasn’t used one. But I don’t want any of you

to use a gun either. I don’t even want to see one in sight. You can use pepper

spray, better bombard him with snowballs, but no guns.” Scully had laid down the

law in her FBI voice which he mother had seldom heard and the neighbors never

had.

Finally Scully could return to the house, this time with Lyndon at her side. On

the porch she carefully turned the front door knob. Locked. At least Mulder had

done something right and she had a key. It turned quietly in the well-oiled lock.

Lyndon gently pushed the door open as they stood to the side. They waited. No

light, no sound, no greeting or demand for identification. Scully peered in.

From the direction of the stairs halfway down the hall to the kitchen there was

a dim, gray glow.

Cautiously, they shook caked snow from their numb feet. They didn’t want to slip.

From the bottom of the stairs they could hear a voice — or was that two? —

coming from the second floor, but they couldn’t make out the words. The angry

one she heard most clearly was male but not Mulder’s. Gripping her service

weapon she padded as silently and quickly as possible up the stairs. The door to

the master bedroom was open. Here was the source of the light, a flashlight on

the floor. A dark figure half crouched in silhouette just inside the doorway.

“She bit me!” complained the crouching figure.

“Well, she scratched me,” came an equally peevish voice from inside. Mulder’s.

Scully let out a silent breath of relief. When there came a break in the

argument over who was most injured, Scully called out “FBI, no one move!”. When

it was clear that the figure now standing with arms raised was following her

instructions, Lyndon stepped rapidly forward and took control of the situation.

Beyond the round shouldered, middle-aged man who stood frozen in the doorway she

saw Mulder. He was sitting on the floor, strained features in high contrast from

the flashlight. He held his weapon in both hands, propped on his knees, and

still it shook with fatigue or pain, she didn’t know which.

“Took you long enough,” he growled.

“Aren’t you going to thank me for saving you?”

He gestured with the gun, an action which was accompanied by a grimace. “In case

you haven’t noticed, I managed to rescue myself this time. Now, can I put this

down?” Without waiting for an answer the heavy weapon fell and Mulder slipped

sideways to lie twitching on the floor.

Epilogue

4am till the snow plows come

It was the most delightful ‘snowed in’ party Mulder could remember other than

the one where he and Scully …

But that was another story.

Because of his injury Mulder got the couch in front of Ivan Pulaski’s roaring

fireplace. It was without a doubt the center of the snowbound party’s

festivities. Frank, the monster van driver, and Lyndon had built up the fire.

“Not because we can’t, dear,” Nina Pickeral told him, “but because they

volunteered and if they want to be responsible for having to go in and out

carryin’ wood, well, that’s their decision. Besides, it makes them feel useful.”

Maggie and her woman friends bustled about digging in the kitchen for anything

remotely edible and making nests of blankets for beds around the fire because no

one would think of going home even though with their vehicles they certainly

could.

The oddest, giddy sensation of celebration pervaded the group. It was almost as

if they had all taken part in the glorious capture of some notorious, black-

hearted criminal and not just middle-aged, mild-mannered and, at the moment,

very frightened Jonathan DuPres, a mamma’s boy if ever there was one. They had

suspected that the violence had been done by Rubin Sweet, the security guard,

who at least carried a gun on a regular basis. But it had been DuPres. Sweet had

only supplied information. Tied with loop after loop of Rita Pendergast’s

knitting yarn, DuPres now cowered in the corner staring wide-eyed at whatever

senior citizen was currently responsible for ‘covering’ him.

“But he is dangerous, Mulder. He murdered three people.”

“We talked some before you came. The killing of Angela Uba was an accident, not

that that absolves him. He was only trying to ensure she would be unconscious

for a while. He used less pressure with Ivan Pulaski but the old man was very

frail. DuPres swears that he didn’t kill Helen Landsburg. She died at some point

while he was searching the house. We’ll have to check the coroner on that. He

swears that he was hoping tonight to get nowhere near Ivan’s cousin ‘Boris’.

That’s why he searched the rest of the house first. Our theory was correct about

the three victims, by the way. He was only trying to keep the police from

identifying the real target.” Mulder inclined his head — carefully — to where

the pale, scanty-haired man shivered in his cold corner before Olivia Inaga’s

tiny, pistol-tottin’ form. “The influence of TV and the movies will have to be

blamed for much of this. DuPres thought that rendering someone unconscious would

be easy. He was terrified over the first death and tried to hide it as long as

possible by having Sweet cancel Angela Uba’s contract. They just repeated the

process after the other two victims died.”

Lyndon’s voice sounded from above their heads. “That’s what I found out at the

hospital when I was there just before the storm.” He was approaching with Maggie

having been pressed to help in the kitchen. “Although Margaret Scully was listed

as having called in and cancelled all three contracts, it was Rubin Sweet’s

handwriting on the log book each time. They were trying, rather clumsily, to

implicate her. Same reason they selected victims who had the same driver all

three times.”

“The fact that all three had cats,” Maggie added, “was just a coincidence. They

weren’t picking victims who had cats, it was just that most of my clients do.

And the reason why all three victims used the same veterinary office is that

that practice gives excellent discounts to senior citizens.”

“They didn’t choose cat pillows the first two times either,” Lyndon explained.

“DuPres just choose _ a _ handy pillow.”

Not for the first time that night Scully noticed a conspiratorial look pass

between the young agent and her mother. “So what’s up with you two? You’ve had

your heads together about more than this since we got back.”

“Your mother has been making improper advances, Agent Scully,” grinned Lyndon

boyishly.

“I have not!” Maggie retorted with a grin. “He just mentioned that he’s been

considering going to graduate school at John Hopkins University in forensics but

that the cost was prohibitive. I just offered to rent him one of my spare

bedrooms.”

“At a ridiculously low price,” Lyndon added.

Maggie drew her small frame upright. “In exchange for becoming a legitimately

trained addition to our neighborhood watch group since you and Fox seem so

against our carrying firearms.”

“I am considering it,” Lyndon replied, “though I’m not so sure how I feel about

being a kept man.”

“At least I’m not hiring you as my pool boy,” Maggie said.

“But, Mom,” Scully reminded her, “you don’t have a pool and it’s January.”

“Since when does that matter?” Maggie asked in all innocence. At that moment

Lyndon, smiling, was called away by the oldest member of Maggie’s gang who

needed help getting out of her chair. He was clearly a favorite already.

Maggie seated herself a little stiffly onto the floor next to her daughter. She

had been carrying a tray on which there was ‘something’ on crackers. At least it

was colorful. She extended it in Mulder’s direction.

“What is it?” he asked dubiously.

“Take-what-you-can-get S’mores: marshmallow cream and M&M’s on Ritz crackers

warmed by the fire.”

Scully made a face but Mulder reached for the plate. When a grimace crossed his

face, Scully magnanimously handed him one.

“I never heard:” Maggie asked as Mulder munched and Scully counted out more pain

medication. “How did you subdue the dread Jonathan Dupres?”

“I made it back to my weapon – somehow.” Pain crossed his face when he thought

of that agonizing crawl down the hall. “I was terrified that he’d come too soon

but instead he was taking forever. He really wanted to find that cat before

running into ‘Boris’. Then I began to worry that he’d get away when you and your

commandos showed up. Then we’d have to track him down all over again. So I lured

him into a trap.”

“And how did you do that?” Scully asked, smiling.

“What was he after?”

Enlightenment showed on her face and she glanced over to where Rita Pendergast

was entertaining the enchanting and enchanted snowy-white feline with more balls

of her endless yarn.

“She must have been lonely after all those days since Ivan’s death so she stayed

with me.” He frowned. “She won’t any more. I pulled her tail trying to get her

to meow. She didn’t like it but neither did she make much noise.” He licked at a

set of deep gouges on the back of his hand that ran perpendicular to his

original set. “She _ is _ a little demon. I had to shut her up in a closet.”

“So how did you lure DuPres?” Scully asked.

Mulder looked uncomfortable. “Made noises.”

“Like what kind of noises?”

He made a face and reluctantly answered, “Meowing noises.”

Maggie snickered. Scully knew better than to snicker, though she did ask,

“Interesting. Could I hear –“

“No,” he snapped. “You don’t ask me to make cat noises and I won’t ask you to

sing.”

“Better not then,” Maggie warned. “You don’t want to hear Dana sing.”

“I have,” Mulder reported with an adamant glare. He didn’t add that he had been

semi-conscious at the time.

“And you’re still together? Then it must be love.”

“Mom…” Scully began, knowing exactly where that subject was leading.

“Have another S’more,” Maggie suggested and the silence was filled for a moment

with the comforting crackle of the fire and a few snores from surrounding bodies.

Mulder was nearly asleep. The results of the day, the warmth of the fire, and

relief from the worst of the pain made it hard to stay awake. Scully had managed

to come up with an amazing cocktail of over-the-counter and some not over-

counter pain relievers from Ivan Pulaski’s medicine cabinet and the purses of

the neighborhood watch. Not surprisingly, the gang carried even more medication

than firearms. It was Scully who broke the four a.m. quiet to softly apologize,

“Mom, we are really sorry… about suspecting you.”

Maggie frowned. “That did hurt.”

“At the start the evidence did point to you as DuPres and Sweet intended it to,

and you had just been acting so strangely.”

“What you mean is differently. I guess that I should have told you about the

Society.”

Scully looked around the room at the women who had to be part of this ‘Society’.

They were a bright and energetic lot. Good friends for her mother to have, if a

bit eccentric.

“We’re members of the Red-Hat Society,” Maggie announced as if that should mean

something. When her daughter and as-good-as son-in-law exchanged blank looks she

went on. “Well, it’s fairly well-known in the over-fifty crowd, so well known

that we are thinking of changing the trademark for our local group. We agree

with the principle but once a secret handshake is no longer secret, a lot of the

fun goes out of it. How would you feel, Fox, if everyone suddenly believed,

unequivocally, that there were aliens on earth?”

Mulder raised an eyebrow, all the energy he could manage. “I wouldn’t exactly

call it ‘fun’, but I get your point.”

“Thought you would.”

“So the red hats mean what?” Scully prompted.

“It’s from a poem which describes one way of not going ‘silent into that good

night’.” And Maggie began to recite. “’When I am fifty, I will wear a red hat

and a purple dress that doesn’t suit me…”

As the twelve women in unison softly intoned their private mantra, Mulder let he

head lean against Scully’s shoulder as he sank into sleep as gently as he

thought he ever had. He had convinced himself once that he was alone and always

would be. Then he had found Scully. Then he thought that the two of them were

alone and now he found a whole sub culture of grown-ups who did not believe in

acting your age. He didn’t know if he had ever felt so contented in his life.

The End

clip_image006

The actual title of the poem is “Warning”. But I think “When I Am Old” makes

more sense.

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple

With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired

And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

And run my stick along the public railings

And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

And pick the flowers in other people’s gardens

And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat

And eat three pounds of sausages at a go

Or only bread and pickle for a week

And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers

And pay our rent and not swear in the street

And set a good example for the children.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?

So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

By Jenny Joseph, reproduced from the following web page:

http://www.jworkman.com/purple.html

You can find more out about the Red Hat Society at the following web page:

http://www.redhatsociety.com/info/howitstarted.html and, yes, I’m old enough to

be a member but X-Files fans don’t need red hats to not act our age.

1

48

A League of Demon Cats by Sue Esty

Slim Dickens

Slim Dickens

TITLE: Slim Dickens

AUTHOR Martin Ross

ARTWORK: Martin Ross Summary: You better watch out, you better not cry, Fox Mulder is about to debunk one of the world’s most beloved works of holiday literature.

Rating: PG for Yuletide reference to pity sex and snide sexual comment to anti-social law enforcement officer.

Spoilers: A Christmas Carol. Contains references that give away key plot points unknown to those who never took junior high English or watched any of the three dozen movie or TV Christmas Carol remakes (including the absolutely phenomenal Six Million Dollar Man homage with Ray Walston as Scrooge and Lee Majors portraying all three ghosts in a

magnificent tour de force).

Disclaimer: Chris “Kringle” Carter owns these people, except for the ones Charles Dickens created.

Archive: Two weeks exclusive with VS12.

J. Edgar Hoover FBI Building

Washington, D.C.

5:12 p.m.

Dec. 24

The irony of a Marley turning up in Mulder’s caseload on the day before Christmas was too great for the special agent to resist, especially as said Pierre Marley was a Jamaican

drug dealer who had apparently dropped from a planeless, chopperless New York sky, his back scored with yet-un-identified talon marks.

Skinner was no Dickensian slavemaster, and Mulder’s Christmas Eve presence in the basement of the J. Edgar Hoover was purely a labor of academic love.

Mulder thus was vexed by the unannounced arrival of Willis Dorritt, just as his own theory – involving pterodactyls and global warming – was taking shape and his Yuletide Bacon Cheese Double Patty beckoned on the desk blotter. Ordinarily, Dorritt’s fantastic tale might have been the plum in Mulder’s Christmas pudding, but his nails drummed impatiently on the Marley folder as the pudgy middle-aged man meandered, side-barred, and detoured.

“So basically, you believe you’ve been scrooged,” the agent deadpanned.

Dorritt sighed. “I realize how crazy this must sound. I really do. That’s why I called you.”

Mulder paused to consider the quality of this compliment. “You also must realize there is no practical legal recourse you could take even if I could prove it was true.”

“I haven’t thought it through that far. But I’ve read a few things about you and your work on the web. You know how many hits I came up with when I googled ‘Fox Mulder’?”

It was too easy a set-up. Mulder shifted in his chair and consulted the wall clock. “OK, I got an hour before my roommate takes the figgy pudding out of the oven. You believe Charles Dickens was part of an elaborate conspiracy to cheat your family out of its fortune.”

“Our potential fortune. And I don’t think Dickens was involved, beyond reporting the crime.”

“Uh huh. I know Dickens was a journalist in London for a time, before he started cranking out bestsellers. What got you going on this – some 19th Century newspaper piece?”

“No, it was in one of his novels. A novelette, actually. You’ve read A Christmas Carol?”

“Well, sure.” Actually, Mulder had seen the George C. Scott version twice and the Bill Murray adaptation a round half-dozen times.

“You’re trying to tell me Ebenezer Scrooge was a real person?”

“Not by that name, of course. As you noted, Dickens was a journalist, but before that, he was a clerk with a London law firm. Well, one of the firm’s clients was a businessman named Aloysius Dodge.”

“Ebenezer Scrooge,” Mulder murmured. “Same syllabic rhythm. Sorry, go on.”

“Well, although Dickens and Dodge traveled in different circles and Dodge was reputed to be a ruthless tyrant with his own employees, he took a shine to the young Dickens. Dodge was too big a cheapskate to be Dickens’ true patron, but they kept touch as Dickens evolved into a writer and then a popular author. And then, in 1843, Dodge and Dickens had a parting of the ways, reportedly on bad terms.”

“Same year A Christmas Carol was published.”

Dorritt nodded, then reached into the large manila envelope that rested intriguingly beside his left shoe. He displayed a small, silk- covered book with brittle yellow pages.

“Aloysius Dodge’s journal. In it, he relates how Dickens betrayed his confidence. In print.”

Mulder leaned back, an incredulous grin forming. “Get out.”

Dorritt carefully leafed through the diary.

“This is from 1854, shortly before Dodge died.

‘With reckless disregard for my standing in the London business community, Dickens exploited my preternatural experience for his own gain. I would have sought the services of his former colleagues at law to take him before the Queen’s bench, but I fear I would be judged to have been of questionable sanity or, worse, to have been under the influence of absinthe or opium. The damage to my reputation would be inestimable. It would appear I have no remedy against this scurrilous opportunist.’ He goes on like this for three pages, then starts ranting about Parliament, taxes, and meat pies.”

“Are you trying to tell me Dodge actually encountered the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future? That A Christmas Carol was actually a factual account of a genuine

supernatural visitation. God save us, every one.”

“I’m sure Dickens took considerable license with the story. But my research shows Dodge went through a very Scroogelike change in 1842.

He became one of London’s most prominent philanthropists – gave big lumps to the local hospital and orphanage every year, endowed a scholarship at Dartmouth. And get this: His

chief bookkeeper’s daughter had been crippled in a coach accident when she was six, and after his Christmas ‘visits,’ Dodge paid for her to get an operation from one of Europe’s top surgeons.”

“Holy Tiny Tim,” Mulder murmured. “Well, I guess it’s reasonable to assume Dickens would have real-life models for his characters. But my question remains, why the FBI? We don’t have the geographical jurisdiction, I’m reasonably

sure neither ectoplasmic housebreaking nor Dickensian defamation are criminal matters, and even if they were, I’m even more certain the statute of limitations would have passed.”

Dorritt frowned and fidgeted. “You still don’t get it, Agent Mulder. See, Aloysius Dodge was my great-great-grand uncle on my mother’s side, and I recently came across this journal in a bunch of boxes Grandma sent Mom 30 or 40 years ago. Since then, I’ve been trying to find evidence of my theory.”

“Which is?” Mulder coaxed, glancing not so covertly at the office clock. Scully’s temper would reach Orange Alert in roughly another half-hour.

Dorritt leaned forward. “That Aloysius Dodge’s Christmas Eve ‘visitation’ was no supernatural occurrence, but rather a carefully calculated, cleverly orchestrated plot to cheat our family out of its future financial legacy.”

“O-kay,” Mulder nodded, formulating an excuse for Scully.

Fox Mulder/Dana Scully apartment

Washington, D.C.

7:41 p.m.

“So this is why you couldn’t stop off at the market for yams or drop off Cousin Elena’s present for me,” Scully concluded, hands on hips, in a lethally neutral tone. Mulder’s coat

stopped halfway to the closet rod.

“How could I know the guy would just show up on Christmas Eve?” he squeaked. “I was just wrapping up the Marley case when the idiot security guard sent him down.”

“And just how did the Marley case come out?” his partner posed, cocking a brow.

“That,” Mulder began, “That’s beside the point, Scully. Dorritt’s a taxpayer, a citizen. I had to hear him out.”

“Of course. So what’s our plan? You take the Ghost of Christmas Past and I get Christmas Future? Let’s see, big black cloak, no distinguishing facial features. Or face, for

that matter.”

“All right, jeez. So he thought I might be intellectually intrigued by his whacko theory.”

“And why would he assume that?” Scully breathed.

Mulder gave her an extended withering look. She finally sighed.

“So, give already with the whacko theory.”

“Goes something like this,” Mulder said, plopping onto the couch. “At the time of his yuletide revelation, Aloysius Dodge had been working on developing lubricants for locomotive

and factory equipment. He was something of a mechanical whiz for his time – a virtual 19th Century Ron Popeil.”

“I have yams to peel. Quit playing Pocket Fisherman and cut to the chase.”

Mulder exhaled. “Dodge’s entrepreneurial spirit disappeared with his spiritual rebirth. He sold one of his laboratories to help shelter unwed mothers, and even after the afterglow wore off, he never really got his capitalist groove back.

“But a few years after Dodge liquidated his lubricant lab, his head chemist – get this – Robert Thatchett…”

“No way.”

“Yes, way. Bob Thatchett. Thatchett came to New York and promptly patented a series of mechanical innovations that provided the capital he needed to start his own company. In

America, mind you – out of the reach of the British courts. With the Industrial Revolution, Thatchett made a pile, and he became as rich, if not as famous, as the Rockefellers and

Carnegies.”

“And 150 years or so later…”

“Hold on, hold on. Do you want to know the name of his company?”

“Actually…”

“Thatchett named it after his late wife – Regina Works and Mechanical Ltd. Over the years, it was modified and streamlined. Today, you know it as…”

Scully’s jaw dropped open. “Shut up.”

“Yup. Reginex. Last year’s Fortune 50 Playmate of the Year. Makes everything from CPUs and airline engines to microwaveable meals. Owns three major cable networks and has a basketball stadium named for it. Ruport Murdoch wets his Armani suit at the mere mention of the company.”

His partner plopped onto the sofa. “And this Dorritt, he thinks somehow his great-great- great-granduncle would own Reginex today if he hadn’t had the dickens scared out of him.”

“Maybe, maybe not. But the potential was there.”

“And how, Mulder, did this Thatchett devise, much less carry off, a scam of such elaborate proportions?”

“Well, we know cocaine, laudanum, and other controlled substances were commonly used back in Dickens’ London. Maybe Thatchett slipped Aloysius the queen mother of all hallucinogenic cocktails. He was a chemist. If we’re to assume Dickens stuck closely to Dodge’s story, there may be evidence he was drugged. Remember, Scrooge suggested his ghostly visitors might have been no more than ‘a bit of undigested beef’? What if Dodge suffered gastric distress

as a side effect of the hallucinogen?”

Scully’s cheeks puffed. “Yeah, I’m gonna get power of attorney one of these days. Mulder, do you honestly believe Thatchett and his cronies could have created a series of hallucinations so convincing and yet coherent that they could

influence him to give up the bulk of his worldly goods? And that, as a result, Thatchett could steal Dodge’s invention, run off to the Big Apple, and become the Victorian Donald

Trump? That would require some pretty powerful foresight, Mulder.”

Mulder began to retort (though his retort had not yet been fully formed), then clamped his mouth shut and slapped his forehead.

“Rebooting, Mulder?” Scully inquired, dryly.

Mulder grinned. “My partner in cohabitation. I think I’ll keep her. You’re a freaking genius, Scully.”

“To have determined the true depths of your dementia?’

“No,” Mulder said flatly. “Scully, don’t you see? It couldn’t have been foresight.”

“Mulder, what the-” Scully’s profanity was interrupted by the warble of Mulder’s cell phone.

“Mulder,” her partner snapped.

“Yeah, Special Agent Mulder?” The voice was two pack-a-day gravelly, the tone cautiously brusque. “This’s Sgt. Micawber with the DCPD. You know a guy named Dorritt?”

Mulder stumbled to a chair. “Yeah, he visited me today. Something happen?”

“The big something,” the cop supplied. “Maid here at the Capitol Holiday Inn heard a ruckus coming from his room, called management, and they found him.”

Mulder jumped up. “Be right down.”

Micawber was suddenly solicitous. “Aw, jeez, Agent, no. We got it under control. It’s Christmas Eve.”

“Nothing’s going on. I’ll be right down.”

“Nothing’s going on?” Scully squeaked. Mulder swatted at her. “Where are you going?”

“No, seriously. I don’t wanna interfere with your holiday. Really.”

“It’s OK. Sgt. Micawber, right?”

“I just wanna know why Dorritt came to see you. He’s got your card, even though it looks like an old one.”

Mulder’s brow creased. Printing had just delivered new cards two days before. “I’m coming down.”

“No,” Micawber blurted. “I mean, you should be celebrating in the, um, the bosom of your family.”

“The only bosom here won’t let me anywhere near it. Be right there.”

The detective sighed loudly, aggrieved. “OK. What if I said I didn’t want some effing fed tromping all over my homicide? What would you say to that, huh?”

“Bah, humbug,” Mulder countered, disconnecting

Capitol Holiday Inn

Washington, D.C.

8:23 p.m.

“Where’s his head?” Mulder demanded upon inspecting the body, which was sitting up at the base of the bed in a spreading pool of blood.

“I dunno,” Sgt. Micawber sulked. “Guess he musta misplaced it. Look, how you figure this is a federal case?”

“Remember the Tulley case, Scully?”

Scully, kneeling by the oddly positioned corpse, looked up. “Tulley shot him in the skull, switched clothes, removed the head like the series of serial decapitations they’d had in the area. He was trying to confuse the vic’s identity, eliminate the ballistics evidence, and fake his suicide in one stroke.”

“More like about 15 strokes, unless he was stronger than he looked. You think this could be the same thing?”

Micawber dug his foot angrily at the hotel carpet. “Oughtta be able to get a DNA match. If there’s something to match it to, that is. Besides, door was bolted from the inside. How’d

the perp get out, especially with a head?”

Mulder grinned. “You think he cut himself shaving?”

Micawber muttered something obscene and anatomically impossible.

“He couldn’t have cut himself, Sarge,” a lanky patrolman called from the bathroom. “No bathroom kit. Not even any luggage.”

“Treese, you freakin’ idiot, wait outside,” Micawber growled.

“Wait,” Mulder murmured. He peered around the room. “No bags, no change of clothes, no bathroom stuff. Door’s locked from the inside.”

The agent perched on the edge of the bed.

“Sergeant, could you check the tub drain, please.”

“Ah, geez, you’re the boss,” Micawber groused, stalking out of the room.

“What do you think he’ll find?” Scully asked as Mulder dropped to the floor beside the body.

“Mulder, what in hell are you doing? You’re robbing the victim? Mulder!”

“Shut it, Scully,” Mulder whispered, pocketing a money clip full of bills.

“Dry as a bone,” Micawber reported as Mulder quickly stood. “Neither the sink nor the crapper look like they been used, and all the cups and soap and shit are still wrapped.”

Mulder nodded as Scully gaped. “Well, all right then. Looks like you’ve got everything in hand. We’ll just say adios.”

The bags beneath Micawber’s eyes darkened.

“What? Just like that?”

“Your jurisdiction, your case,” Mulder chirped.

“You’ll clear it — all you need are a few good leads and a little head.”

**

“Mulder, I’ve seen some real surprises from you, and not only at Christmas,” Scully finally commented, calmly, after 10 minutes of silence.

“Stealing money from a corpse on Christmas Eve and then ditching a case?”

“There is a Dickensian precedent for robbing the dead, Scully, and that boxed set of Crossing Jordan: Season One you wanted was pretty pricey,” Mulder murmured, turning on K Street. “But I wasn’t looking for pocket change on the unfortunate Mr. Dorritt. I was trying to prove a theory – one the good Sgt. Micawber wasn’t likely to buy.”

Scully shook her head, hopelessly. “All right. Give.”

“You said it before, Scully,” he began without further prompting. “A scheme like Dorritt proposed would have required superhuman foresight – to be able to predict Aloysius Dodge’s reaction to his ‘supernatural’ experience would have been impossible. Doris Day was right – que sera, sera. The future’s not ours to see.”

“We have to have some Tylenol left.”

“And even if Dodge was drugged, look at the incredible staging and special effects the Christmas ‘ghosts’ would have had to bring off.

No, it wasn’t foresight behind this. It was hindsight.”

Scully stopped rubbing her temple, and she looked at her partner, bathed in a strobe of passing streetlights. “You’re not suggesting…?”

“Time travel, Scully. The ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future were conmen from the future. Only they’d have the technology to create Aloysius Dodge’s elaborate and vivid ‘vision.’ Only people from the future would know the ultimate consequences of Dodge’s actions and their impact on Bob Thatchett and his heirs. I believe they were his heirs. In an alternate timeline, I suspect Aloysius Dodge marketed his little innovations and raked in a buttload of money, while the Thatchett clan lived on in relative obscurity and poverty.”

“Mulder,” Scully sighed, “I was going to offer you pity sex when we got home, but I think instead we’ll devote the time to a crash course on quantum physics. I suppose you’re going to suggest next that these time-traveling ghosts

found out Dorritt had come to you and were afraid the great Fox Mulder would thwart their scheme to rule the consumer electronics market.”

“Nobody likes a bitchy Scully, girly-girl. No, I’m not conceited enough to believe I could somehow prevent a 160-year-old crime committed by futuristic bunco artists. Even if somehow, I could build a case for fraud, what could he do? Hire Johnny Cochran and go on Larry King? No, there’s only one way Dorritt could do anything to regain his family fortune.

“Besides, you saw the crime scene, Scully. Locked room, head missing, no easy means of removing the head from the premises. Once again, wrong premise. It isn’t a question of

where Dorritt’s head is – it’s a question of when. He didn’t bring any bags or personal effects to the hotel because he didn’t need them. Toilets are probably cleaner in the future, and I know I prefer to use the john at home.”

Scully’s fingers instinctually went for her temples again. “So what are you saying, Mulder? That the ghosts found out Dorritt was onto them, and they whacked him, taking along the head to hide, what, raygun marks?”

“No. Suspend your disbelief for a moment, Scully, and go back to the Tulley case. Remember how many whacks it took to sever the victim’s head? Well, you saw Dorritt’s body.

How many strokes would you say that took?”

Scully’s eyes opened, and her fingers quit massaging. “Well, I suppose it looked pretty clean, almost surgical.” She sat up. “In fact, if it wasn’t impossible, it looked almost like

what I’ve seen in auto accidents where someone’s stuck their head out the window and had it sheared off by a passing truck or utility pole.”

Mulder smiled. “Or maybe if someone were interrupted while attempting to make a time leap, stuck their head out of the time machine, and had their head sheared off by a time

anomaly.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Scully said, eyes widening, bolting up straight. “That just has to be it. You call Skinner, I’ll put out an APB on Scott Bakula.”

“Sure, fine, whatever,” Mulder grumbled.

Fox Mulder/Dana Scully apartment

12:01 a.m.

Dec. 25

Mulder awoke with a dry mouth, his undigested burger and theories still rolling in his gut.

Scully was snoring softly but regularly beside him. Neither pity sex nor quantum physics nor any combination thereof had followed their return home, and Mulder had ended Christmas Eve with the Cartoon Network.

He padded into the darkened living room in search of leftover Domino’s, stumbling on the ottoman. As Mulder uttered a curse to all superfluous furnishings, the lights blazed on.

“Thanks,” he muttered before jumping back. The tall figure by the switch was cloaked entirely in black, its face shrouded in shadow. One long hand gestured toward Mulder, beckoning.

“Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, right?” Mulder finally yawned. “Want a brewski?”

The specter’s fingers froze, then resumed beckoning.

“Diet Sprite, then,” Mulder nodded, jerking his head toward the kitchen. The phantom paused, then followed the agent.

Mulder popped the top on the can, and turned.

“You like a lot of ice? I don’t. C’mon, the jig’s up. Speak, boy.”

“I-” the cloaked figure stammered. “Oh, shit.”

“Want a little ‘za?” Mulder inquired, pulling a flat box from the fridge.

The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come sighed and slumped into a chair. “My God, no. I mean, it’s in cardboard. Cardboard. You know how many organisms are crawling on that mozzarella Petri dish?”

Mulder ripped off a huge bite. “I gargled earlier. Sho, how are da kidsh?””I want the money.” It wasn’t so much of a

demand as it was a whine. The “spirit” flipped his hood down. “Just give me the money, and I’ll get out of here.”

“Was it an accident?” Mulder asked, wiping tomato sauce from the corner of his mouth.

“What? Yes. Of course. We surprised him as he was about to come back, and the morph turned around as the temporal drive engaged. The quark field lopped his head right off.”

“It happens.”

“Look, you’re messing with time here,” the ghost protested. “You have no idea what you could do to the space-time continuum…”

Mulder grinned. “I watch the Sci-Fi Network, too. Just because I’m a primitive entity doesn’t mean I’m stupid. Besides, what have you and Larry and Curly think you’ve been doing to the space-time continuum?”

“Larry? Curly?” The G.O.C.Y.T.C. tapped the earpiece of his thick glasses, appeared to scan something on the inside of his lens, and frowned. “Hey. Look, we only undid Dodge’s

fuckup.”

“Dodge’s?” Mulder sat up.

“Yeah,” the tall stranger said emphatically.

“He called himself Dorritt. Guess he had his great-great-great-great-…oh, shit — Aloysius Dodge’s ingenuity. He was Regina’s top technology development manager, and he started screwing around with the submolecular fields.

He’d found Dodge’s journal – the one from our original timeline – and realized how Robert Thatchett had pirated his inventions while he was recovering from a minor case of consumption.

Dodge went back and planted enough evidence for

Aloysius to uncover Thatchett’s plans. Well, he underestimated his great-great-you know’s temper:

Aloysius confronted Thatchett and shot him, then keeled over dead from cardiac failure.

You know the crap they ate back then? His heart must’ve looked like a nuclear test site.”

“Glad to see carb-counting isn’t just a fad.”

“He managed to erase Thatchett’s family line, and without Dodge’s charitable contributions – he wasn’t quite the tyrant that hack Dickens made him out to be – thousands of orphans, widows, unwed mothers, and sick children died,

turned to crime, failed to reach the potential for which history had destined them.”

“And what happened?” Mulder asked.

“Hey, I’m sure you’re smart enough to know I can’t tell you that. Just suffice it to say it was pretty effed up.”

“So how’d you guys get back here?”

“The chronotech lab’s superaccelerated boson membrane produced a temporal tesseract that — you wouldn’t understand,” he said simply. “But we knew that somehow, we had to shift the continuum back into line.”

“And that’s what you came up with,” Mulder observed.

“Hey, we were dealing with virtual cavemen here,” the ghost pointed out, witheringly.

“Aloysius didn’t even maintain basic oral hygiene – his breath could cause a temporal rift. We preyed on his 19th Century sense of superstition and pre-Victorian guilt. It worked, didn’t it? And now, everything’s pretty much right again – pretty much. And when I get back, we’re going to take Dodge’s machine apart and recycle the parts into proton ovens. That is, if you’ll just give me the money and leave

things alone.”

“Look, I’d like to oblige, but how do I know what you guys may have in mind next? Maybe you’re bent on world domination, maybe you think a Fourth Reich’d kind of spice things up.

You seem to have some pretty fanatical views on nutrition – maybe you arrange a little accident for Harlan Sanders or Ray Kroc, wipe the Thickburger completely from man’s memory.”

The time traveler’s jaw tightened. “OK. I understand. We studied up on you – we knew you were the only person who might be, ah, open- minded enough to help Dodge figure out how to readjust the continuum. Would it convince you of our goodwill if we could help you put your career back on track? Maybe if you had a second chance to investigate your sister’s disappearance with a little more discretion, you could rise to a position of authority where you could command the resources necessary to find out what happened to her.”

Mulder merely smiled.

“Or better yet,” the visitor persisted, “what if you could go back to 1973, go back to when Samantha disappeared? What if you could have been there to protect her? To remove her from harm’s way?”

Mulder’s smile froze. Then he remembered to breathe. The agent stood up, walked out into the hall, and opened the front door closet. Mulder returned a moment later and flipped Dodge’s small roll of bills across the table.

The ghost riffled through the currency, sighing loudly, then pocketed it and looked back at Mulder.

“And that’s it?” he asked, suspiciously.

Mulder smiled again, leaning back. “You guys are all scientists, right? You and the ghosts of Christmas past and present?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, then, you ought to understand. I’ve got what I need here. Answers. The Truth. I don’t need to alter the truth, tweak it, head it off at the pass. I just want it to show itself.”

For the first time, The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come smiled, as if the two had transcended some temporal boundary.

“I hope you mean it,” Mulder added. “That you’ll destroy the time machine. Doris Day was right.”

“Que sera, sera.”

Mulder grinned. “Geez, maybe there is hope.”

The time traveler tipped his head and folded into nothing. Mulder stared at the vacant space for a moment, then picked up a slice and chewed. He pulled a rectangle of paper from his T-shirt pocket and smoothed it on the table.

“Santa’s gonna open a big can of whoopass, he finds you up this late,” said Scully, yawning and rubbing against the kitchen doorjam. ”

‘Case’ still bugging you?”

Mulder shook his head. “It’s Christmas morning, Scully. The past and the future don’t matter. Mankind should be our business.”

“Jacob Marley,” Scully nodded, impressed.

“John Forsythe, Scrooged.”

“Ah huh. Look, Mulder, you still want that pity sex?”

Mulder’s chair squeaked back. “God bless us everyone.”

Scully pursed her lips. “Shut up, Mulder. You had me at John Forsythe.” She glanced at the bill on the table, picked it up, squinted, and let it float back onto the formica, smirking.

“Cute – Frohike give you this? Treasury might not think it was so funny, you accidentally spend it.”

Mulder smiled, watching her disappear back into the bedroom. He took one last look at the square-jawed visage engraved onto the U.S. tender – the one he’d withheld from his midnight visitor — before sliding it back into his T-shirt.

He could have sworn President Schwarzenegger smiled back.

end

Ebay Wars

TITLE: eBay Wars

Author: Kathy Foote

Summary: Mulder and Scully are unknowingly bidding on the same auction item

Rating: PG

Category: MSR, Humor

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, these characters are the property of Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and Twentieth Century Fox. I wish they were mine, but they aren’t.

Archive: Two weeks exclusive with VS12, then anywhere is

fine by me

CHRISTMAS MORNING

Mulder and Scully were opening gifts on Christmas morning.

Boxes and ripped wrapping paper were strewn all over the floor.

They had had a wonderful morning together opening gifts. She was in her satin pajamas and robe wearing her new white socks embossed with little green alien heads. He was wearing sweat pants and his new t-shirt with “Area 51 Travel Agency” printed on it.

There was one last gift under the tree and it was for Mulder.

Scully retrieved the small box and, with a huge smile on her

face, gave it to him. He opened the box and found that it

contained a baseball. The baseball he had told Scully about last month. It was an autographed baseball from the 2000 world champion Yankees. He stared at the baseball in total shock. He had showed the ball to Scully on eBay and asked her to get it for his Christmas present, but she had scoffed at the idea, saying absolutely not. Obviously, she had been kidding. Mulder remembered the moment clearly as he continued to stare at the ball. He had wanted the ball very badly and since she wasn’t going to get it for him, he had tried to buy it himself, but someone kept outbidding him…

ONE MONTH EARLIER, SATURDAY AFTERNOON

Mulder was in the upstairs office using his computer, while

Scully had set up her laptop downstairs. You had to love that

wireless router the guys put in. She could get on the Internet using her laptop from any room in the duplex, even the bathroom. However, Scully assured him she would never need to use it in there. The wireless router allowed them to use their own computers to gain access to the Internet and their email at the same time…no waiting.

Mulder was bored and had been surfing around the Internet,

checking out some of his usual UFO related haunts; MUFON,

UFO Research Center, and the center for UFO studies. There

were no big sightings to report. He did find a site called the

UFO Store where he found a great pair of socks for Scully’s

Christmas present with alien heads on them. She would only

wear them around the house, but he liked them.

He tired of the UFO sites and decided to make a stop at eBay. He liked to check the site every now and then to see what kind of stuff was up for sale. The Gunmen were always raving about the great deals they had gotten on electronics there. Mulder had bought a few things, but never elec-tronics; mostly books and movies. There were a few select topics that he liked to search.

‘Elvis’ was his favorite. He had always been a huge fan and he loved seeing what kind of stuff people would try to sell on

eBay.

ELVIS PRESLEY’S 1st PERSONALLY WORN

OWNED TCB’ NECKLACE – $1,000,000.00

Wow! He would have to tell Scully to buy him that for

Christmas. Oh wait…he could also get the matching TCB ring

for $152,000. Would anyone actually bid on that? he

contemplated, laughing to himself.

Next, he searched for ‘Knicks’. Hey, he wondered if Scully

would like tickets to a Knicks game for Christmas. Well,

maybe not for Christmas, but for the heck of it. Scully would

like a trip to New York for just the 2 of them; nice hotel,

shopping, eating, AND a Knicks game. Someone was selling 2 tickets to the Knicks vs Lakers on 2/28. He quickly checked his calendar and found that February 28th was a Monday night.

That could work. They could make a long weekend of it,

driving up Saturday and returning on Tuesday. He would have to think about it.

Next, he searched for ‘Yankees’.

1928 New York Yankees Baseball Team Panoramic

Photo – $100,000.00

He judged that item was too rich for his blood. As he paged

through the items, he found something that caught his eye. A baseball from the 2000 world series that had been signed by some of the players, including Derek Jeter and Roger Clemens.

It was only $99. He had to have it. He ran down the stairs,

shouting ‘Scully’ the whole way.

She could hear Mulder frantically calling her name. Concerned, she went to see what the commotion was about and practically ran into him. He could barely speak.

“Scully! Scully! I know what I really want for Christmas!” he

enthusiastically told her.

“Mulder…that’s what you said about the Playstation 2, the new video games, the Outer Limits on DVD, and about a dozen other things”, she replied exasperated.

“No…this is different. I just saw it on eBay. It’s a baseball

autographed by the 2000 world champion New York Yankees. I’ll show you.”

He snatched up her laptop and brought up the auction item.

Handing the laptop back to her, he pointed to the screen.

“Look!”

She studied the display, unable to believe that he really wanted an autographed baseball. As she looked up at his expectant face, she could tell that he really did want it. He had always been a big Yankees fan and it was only $99. She came to the conclusion that she would try and buy it; she didn’t want him to know. It would be a big surprise when she gave it to him on Christmas morning.

“I am _not_ going to buy you that baseball. Besides, I have

already bought your present.” She lied, hoping to throw him

off.

“But…Scully…”

“No way!” She switched the screen back to her report and

resumed her work.

Dejected, Mulder left and returned upstairs.

When she was sure he was gone, she switched back to eBay and put in a bid of $99. Now she would have to wait 1 day for the auction to end.

Mulder was sulking upstairs. He had really wanted that ball and it was only $99. After much contemplation, he decided, if she wouldn’t buy it for him, he would buy it himself. It would be his Christmas present to himself. With the decision made, he returned to eBay to bid on the ball. Someone had placed a bid on the ball. He wanted to see who had placed the bid, but it was a private auction, so he was unable to see the ID of his competition. He really didn’t want to lose the opportunity to possess that ball, so he placed a bid of $105. Satisfied when the screen showed his bid as the current high bid, he resumed surfing the net. Maybe he would check out hotels in the New York area for February.

Scully was in the middle of editing her report, when she got an email notification. When she accessed her mail, she found an outbid notice from eBay. Someone had already outbid her for the baseball. She knew it would happen, but not so soon. She navigated to the item and found a current high bid of $105. The bidding history was hidden, so she had no idea who had outbid her for the ball. She would fix that guy and entered a bid of $125. When the screen refreshed, she saw her bid was the current high bid. That ought to do it. Scully went back to work on her report.

Mulder was reviewing the latest UFO reports for November at the MUFON National UFO Reporting Center, when he got an email notification. He had already been outbid for the baseball.

Damn. Another person or persons wanted his ball, although not as much as he did. He accessed the eBay item. The bid was now up to $110. He entered a new bid of $115, but was

immediately outbid. What? He re-entered his bid at $120 and again was immediately outbid. Shit! He’d fix that. He entered a bid $150 and finally got the message that he was the highest bid at $130.

Scully saw the “You Got New Mail” message popup on her

screen. She got another outbid notice from eBay. Whoever was bidding on this item must be online right now. She went to eBay and found the current bid was $130. She tried several higher bids, never managing to get the high bid. She was trying to decide whether or not to keep bidding. Mulder better really love this ball, she thought, as she entered a bid of $200. That had been the amount that outbid her op-ponent, because now she was the highest bidder. Noticing that it was getting late, she logged off her laptop, so that she could get dinner started. She would check it out again later.

Mulder got another email notification. Outbid again? Dammit!

He was not going to lose that ball. The bid was now up to

$155. He first entered $175 and then jumped to $200, each time being outbid. He sat back and contemplated his situation. He really wanted that ball, but the bid was already at $200. Should he bid more or give up? He paced the room considering what to do. How bad did he want that ball? He deliberated a moment and decided…really bad. He moved back to the computer and entered a bid of $300. Finally, he got the notice that he was the highest bid at $205. Whew! He wondered how high that other guy was going to go? He still thought $300 was a great price for that ball, but of course, for Mulder, the ball was priceless.

Soon Scully called him to come help with dinner, so he logged off.

Before turning in, Scully wanted to check the eBay auction one more time. She told Mulder she was going to check her email once more before bed, while he was in the bathroom getting ready for bed. After logging on, the first thing she saw was…you got mail! She was outbid again. “Dammit!” she shouted into the empty room.

Hearing her swear from inside the bathroom, Mulder asked if

she was OK.

“I’m fine…I just…hit my foot…on …_something_”, she

replied. She was totally focused on the auction and could not be distracted. She had to finish this before Mulder came out of the bathroom. The current bid was listed at $205. She placed a bid of $250 and was notified that she was outbid. She tried $300 and was again outbid. How high was too high of a price for that ball? Scully didn’t know, but she knew he really wanted it and she determined to get it for him. She finally decided $400 was her limit, and placed the bid. Whew! She figured the other guy must not have bid higher than $300, because the current bid jumped to $305.00. Satisfied, for now, she logged off and waited for Mulder to get out of the bathroom.

When he finished, Scully got in the bathroom to get ready for

bed. He hurried to the other room to log back onto the

computer and check out the auction. He didn’t even bother

checking his email, but went directly to the eBay item. He had been outbid again. He debated on outbidding the person again or waiting until the auction was closer to the end, since it was not over until 12:00pm the next day. If he kept outbidding this person for the next 14 hours, the price could easily be $1000.00.

He concluded that it would be best to wait until the auction was almost over before placing a new bid. He shutdown the

computer and hurried back to the bed before Scully came out

The next day, after cleaning up from breakfast, Mulder said he had some work to do and disappeared into the upstairs office.

Scully was glad, saying she had work too. They both logged

onto their respective computers and went straight to eBay.

Scully was pleased to see that she was still the top bidder.

There was still 2 hours left in the auction, so she would have to keep checking back. She passed the time by continuing to work on the report she had started the previous day.

Mulder was pleased to see that his plan had worked. He hadn’t outbid the other guy, so the price had not gone up. It was still sitting at $305. Now, he had to time this just right. His plan was to wait until 2 or 3 minutes before the end and then raise the bid.

At 11:57am, he made his move. He entered a bid of $350.

When he pressed the submit button, the message “you have been outbid” was his response. No!! He quickly entered another bid…this time $400. Again he was outbid. SHIT! This can’t be happening! Running out of time, he went all out and entered a bid of $500. Finally, he was high bidder at $405.

Scully was going to kill him when she found out how much he

had spent. He couldn’t think about the ramifications right now; he had to win it first. He just sat there hitting the refresh key every second, waiting to see if he was going to be outbid. He would need to know immediately so he could enter a new bid before the end of the auction, which was ending in 1 minute and 45 seconds.

Scully had been monitoring the item at eBay for the last 10

minutes. She was still the highest bidder. She was getting

excited about the prospect of winning. She thought $305 was a lot to pay for a baseball, but not compared to how much Mulder would love the ball. Refreshing the screen every few seconds, she finally saw the price change to $405. Damn! Sneaky bastard had outbid her and with only 1 minute 45 seconds left. She had to hurry. She immediately entered a bid of $450.00 and was outbid. Oh my God, she could not lose it now…not after all this time. She quickly entered $500.00 and submitted the bid. Outbid again!!! The time was down to 1 minute.

This was getting ridiculous. Could she really pay over 500.00

for a stupid baseball? It was just a ball with some signatures on it. She pictured Mulder’s face when he opened the item on Christmas and came to the conclusion that she could. She

entered $1000 and prepared to hit submit. She was going to

wait until the last possible second to submit the bid. That way she couldn’t be outbid.

Mulder was impatiently hitting the refresh key, watching the

countdown to the auction ending…30 seconds. The bid had

gone up, but stopped at $500.00. Maybe the other guy decided to quit at $500. The sound of his finger hitting the key sounded like a ticking time bomb. A time bomb set to explode in 30 seconds.

Suddenly the phone rang and Mulder almost jumped out of his skin. There was no way he was leaving his computer to answer that phone. “Sculleeee! Can you get that phone? I’m…busy!”

She heard him yell down from upstairs about the phone. There was no way she was leaving her computer to answer that phone.

“No…I’m busy too. It’s probably for you anyway.”

“Fine”, they said in unison, the answering machine would get it.

Scully waited patiently until she figured there were about 10

seconds left in the auction and pressed the submit button. The screen changed to show that she was the highest bidder at $505.00. The auction ended 5 seconds later with her being the winner. “Yes!!!” she shouted in triumph. She felt like she had won a war. She wanted to celebrate but she couldn’t tell Mulder why, obviously. She logged off her computer and went to get her and Mulder a victory beer.

Mulder pressed the refresh key again and the screen changed to show that the auction had ended. He practically crumpled when he saw the winning bid of $505.00. After all his work and planning, he had lost. He had really wanted that ball, but obviously so did someone else. Disgusted, he shut down his computer and sat there pouting…

CHRISTMAS MORNING

Mulder was holding the ball reverently, turning it in his hands

so he could see all the signatures. He was in a world of his

own.

“Mulder? Earth to Mulder…”

“Huh? Oh…uh…sorry Scully. I…I have something to confess.”

“Oh?”

“Well, you know I really wanted this ball…and you said you

wouldn’t buy it…and…I believed you, so I…I tried to buy it

myself.” Scully raised her eyebrows upon hearing his

confession. She had an idea of what coming. He explained

how he had tried to buy the ball but was constantly being outbid by some unknown person.

“You were the other guy?” Scully finally asked.

“Well…yeah, I guess so…sorry about that,” he answered

sheepishly lowering his eyes to look at the ball. After a few

ments, he raised his face to look at Scully, breaking out into

a wide grin. “But…I really, really, _really_ love this ball.

It means so much more to me to know that you went to so much trouble to get it.” He embraced her in both arms. “Thanks, Scully.”

“Merry Christmas, Mulder.” Scully said as she hugged back.

She was so glad she had managed to get it for him. It was

obvious that he really liked it, but in the back of her mind she

thought, “For the price I paid, you had better like it.”

The End

Kenneth

Title: Kenneth

Author: Elf X

Type: Casefile…

Rating: PG-13; strong language

Spoilers: Folie a Deux

Synopsis: Mulder plays Christmas angel to a man

who’s become a stranger in his own not-so-

wonderful life.

Disclaimer: Mulder, Scully, and their cohorts are

not my property, but are the inspiration of Chris

Carter, 1013 Productions, and Fox.

clip_image002

Bloomington, Illinois

Christmas Eve

6:42 p.m.

Kenneth sips his coffee, staring silently for the

thousandth time at the digital display at the

base of the Mr. Coffee on the kitchen counter.

Sean and “Brenda” have left quietly for school,

stealing anxious glances at him as they slip out

the door.

“OK,” Kris sings, grabbing her purse from the

table and shrugging into her jacket. She

experiments with a kiss; Ken submits, wanting to

please her, wanting to be pleased by the physical

intimacy. “Try to have a good day, Sweetie.”

“Mm, yeah,” Ken murmurs with a false and fleeting

smile. Kris regards him with worry and something

else, and nods. The door closes, and his

shoulders relax as he hears her Camry ease out of

the driveway.

Alone in the house, he feels momentarily normal.

Ken risks a glance out the backyard window. His

heart quickens as a small, rust-colored creature

scampers across the grass and up a red maple that

one day had appeared on the lawn.

It takes a moment for Ken to stop shaking and

finish his coffee.

**

Ken hopes to pass quickly by the cubicle which

happens to open onto the hallway, hopes “Brad”

has been called into a staff meeting, hopes Brad

has contracted this year’s superflu or has been

caught shtupping his secretary and has been

unceremoniously added to the unemployment rolls.

“Kenneth,” “Brad” calls out, wheeling around from

his PC. Ken freezes, fixes a smile on his face.

“See the Bulls last night?”

“Mm,” Ken shakes his head and moves on,

registering the look of — what, hurt or

contempt? — on his coworker’s face. Ken’s hand

instinctively burrows into his overcoat pocket,

caressing the cool, comforting steel…

From the field report of Special Agent Scully

Bloomington, Illinois

Christmas Eve

11:22 p.m.

The Scotch pine, strung with bold primary colors

and blazing whites, was perched on the roof of

the seven-story concrete and glass Farmstead

Insurance complex, on the building’s public face

— a misdemeanor breach of corporate protocol,

like ripped jeans on Casual Friday or a

graphically incorrect but good-natured e-mail

joke tacked to the coffee cubicle.

For Mulder and I, the tree was a beacon, guiding

the Bloomington P.D. Crowne Victoria down

Veteran’s Parkway and toward its grim

destination. Even a good four blocks away, I

could see Farmstead Insurance’ northern edifice

blush rhythmically with reds and blues, a sort of

perverted Christmas display signaling discord on

Earth and the ever-prevalent ill will of men.

“Shit detail for Christmas Eve, huh?” the BPD

captain empathized, his eyes locked on the

parkway as he wove tightly between the holiday

diners and last-second gift-grabbers. “Really

appreciate you letting us drag you all the way to

Hell and gone.”

The captain’s evocation of damnation on this

sacred night, in the midst of this crisis –

particularly given its lethal potential — caused

me to shudder. I tried to shake it off as

Scully’s perpetual preternatural itch. The

condition always emerged full-blown during the

holidays. All I’d faced, all I’d lost in every

familial, physical, and spiritual sense, came

home to roost each year, like a dark Yuletide

angel haunting my door. Mulder’s agnostic, off-

track faith in forces unseen saw him through the

season, but my nagging doubts about the existence

of anything but molecules and silence beyond this

earthly veil collided constantly with my Good

Catholic Girl angst, forcing an uneasy compromise

of blind, ritualistic faith.

“Not a big deal, probably would’ve just grabbed

some wassail and waffles at the D.C. Denny’s,”

Mulder said from the seat beside me. “What can

you tell me about Kenneth Ralston?”

The captain’s broad shoulders convulsed. “This’s

just a total blast from the blue, Agent. Ken

Ralston’s kind of mid-exec level at Farmstead –

big house with a three-car garage on the east

side of town, Peoria debutante wife, honor roll

kids, runs the company United Aid campaign every

year, that kinda thing. We’re in the local Lions

together, just pretty much know him to see him,

though.”

“Any idea what might’ve caused this kind of

uncharacteristic behavior?” I asked. “Any

personal or professional setback, tragedy in the

family?”

The cop shrugged. “Ralston had a major accident

in September – nearly drowned saving his kid out

at Lake Bloomington. He was under for, Jesus,

maybe 15 minutes before they got to him, and they

had to bring him back at St. Joseph’s.

Hypothermia, they were afraid he might have

suffered brain damage, but he seemed to pull

through just fine. At the time, I suppose.”

Though the unit’s heater was on full-blast, a

chill was spreading from deep within me. The

captain’s unconsciously religious references

sapped the warmth from me, fed my nearly

constant, seldom-spoken fear that Death, once,

Hell, twice or thrice cheated, was circling back

to claim my soul or that of a suitable

substitute.

“…but apparently, there must’ve been some kinda

brain damage or just, what do they call it with

the Viet vets? Post-traumatic syndrome? Cause his

work performance started going in the toilet, the

wife said he started acting distant. Shit, my old

lady says the same thing every NBA tournament.

Sorry, Agent Scully – no gender stereotypes

intended.”

I woke from my contemplations. “As they say,

stereotypes usually have a basis in truth. For

example, the stereotype of the successful

suburban breadwinner, the ideal family man, can

become a mask for hidden fears and insecurities.

A near-death experience can drastically alter a

person’s perceptions of their daily reality,

redefine their essential ethical and emotional

precepts.”

“Whoa,” the captain chuckled amiably. “Dumb cop,

remember?”

“She’s saying it can fuck you up something

awful,” Mulder provided.

“Now you’re talking my language. OK, folks; here

we are.”

**

Mulder accepted the wire and the microcam, but

refused both the ankle holster and the vest.

“Might as well wear a red cape and jab him with

sharp sticks, don’t you think?” he posed, making

permanent pals with the Peoria PD Tactical Unit

commander BPD had called in to deal with this

rare instance of white-collar mayhem.

“Guy asked specifically for you, huh?” the

commander asked drily, as if the very idea was

both absurd and offensive. “What makes you such a

big deal?”

Mulder smiled broadly – he was used to such jibes

from his “brothers” in law enforcement. “Must be

those commercials I’m running during Judging Amy,

I guess. Hey, I think we’ve got enough tape on

the mike here, Sergeant, unless you want to take

me to dinner and a Julia Roberts movie.”

I bit on my inner cheek. Making friends and

influencing people in the face of danger – that

in itself was ample evidence of Mulder’s faith in

something larger than human foible and the

acceptance of macho cohorts.

“I don’t like the camera,” I murmured, staring at

the small device, no larger than a lapel

microphone, being affixed to poke through one of

Mulder’s buttonholes.

“Digital, with infrared transmission, totally

wireless,” the captain said, as if I’d asked to

see the new 2001 Hondas. “Got it on a pilot

basis, some big Japanese company hopes to makes

some bucks with the metro cop shops.”

“I don’t like it. Ralston trips to the fact

Mulder’s taping him, he could go ballistic.”

“Evil bellybutton eye steal man’s soul,” Mulder

chanted ominously. He caught the look in my eye,

and grinned reassuringly. “Look, Scully; if

Ralston is that attentive, he might be a little

more interested in why I have about five pounds

of duct tape wrapped around my pale torso. I

think the camera’s a moot point. Besides, if you

can track Ralston’s reactions and assess the

risks up there, maybe there’s less chance Lance

here” – he nodded at the tactical commander –

“will blast a few holes in either Ralston or me.”

“Ordinance costs too much to waste on a fed,” the

commander stated. “And the name’s not Lance. It’s

Captain Slaughter.”

Mulder’s brows rose. “Charlie Babbitt made a

joke,” he muttered in a perfect Dustin Hoffman.

The tactical commander sighed. “Button up and

haul ass, Rain Man.”

**

The picture was sharp, if somewhat grainy, and

the camera angle, from navel level, was

disorienting. The view of the elevator button

panel was abruptly interrupted as Mulder panned

to the commander, who just looked blankly ahead.

“Lance is wearing the latest in tactical law

enforcement gear, from Kevlar Klein,” my partner

observed with a faintly British accent. “From the

fashionably rakish Sig nine millimeter to the

reinforced Green Beret boots and accessorized

Mace canister, Lance is ready for a night of

hostage negotiation or the hotdog line at a

Detroit hockey game. This ensemble says no to

wadcutter bullets with a capital ‘N.'”

“Think Ralston’s going to need more protection

than you,” the commander responded.

**

Kenneth Ralston had struck at about 4:45, as the

end-of-the-day crowd was thinning out but his own

departmental team continued to toil on a tightly-

deadlined project. He had two semi-automatic

pistols and far more backup ammunition than

appeared warranted to subdue a 56-year-old

supervisor, two fellow mouse-pushers, and an

administrative assistant barely out of community

college. Within an hour, after Ralston had made

his unusual and very specific singular demand, it

was obvious his judgment regarding weaponry had

been sound.

The tactical commander hung back at the elevator,

covering Mulder’s back as he approached the

departmental suite where Ralston had set up shop.

As I leaned forward at my makeshift monitoring

station in a board conference room, I heard the

hollow ringing of Mulder rapping on the glass

suite door.

A disheveled face appeared as the door swung

partially open. Ralston was fairly young, early

30s, slightly receding hairline fringed with an

obviously expensive cut. The digital microcam

captured only grays, but I could make out a dark

Polo pony against Ralston’s light sports shirt.

What had pushed this man from his likely world of

sports and investments and cookouts into a dark

universe of reprisal and burgeoning violence? As

a physician, I had only my experience to help me

hazard any psychological theory, but I could see

even though the digital grain the stress that

tugged at Ralston’s eyes and mouth and placed

Mulder in a volatile, perhaps deadly, situation.

“Two extra larges, half sausage, half Canadian

bacon, and an order of wings?” I heard Mulder

ask. The Bloomington P.D. captain rustled behind

me.

The man blinked. “You have to be Mulder, right?

Thanks for coming, man; get in here, please. I

don’t trust Dudley Doright at the elevator.”

“Ah, he’s OK, just watched a little too much NYPD

Blue, maybe,” my partner said as he slipped into

the office suite. Mulder trained his buttonhole

cam immediately on the four hostages on the floor

near the receptionist’s desk. Their wrists were

bound before them, and their fear transcended the

depersonalization of computer imagery. I heard

Ralston lock the suite door with a sharp snick.

“Guess you never heard of 1-800-COLLECT?” Mulder

inquired as Ralston gestured him to a chair.

Ralston slumped into a chair facing Mulder,

pistol gripped tightly in his right hand. “Man,

I’m sorry, I really am. I know this is a shitty

way to do this, but I’ve got no options anymore.”

“Everybody in good shape, I trust?”

Ralston glanced back at the quartet on the floor.

“Oh, sure, yeah. I don’t want to hurt any of

these people, I really don’t.”

I frowned as I stared at the computer monitor. It

had been a curiously phrased remark. “These

people,” who according to Ralston’s personnel

file, had worked with him over the past five

years. A coworker had told the captain Ralston

and his colleagues had shared a close

camaraderie, at least until recently.

I thought of a case a few years back, a similar

desk jockey hostage-taker, convinced his

supervisor was some form of monster who was

draining the life from his fellow wage-earners. A

rather transparent delusion, giving literal

meaning to our essential feelings about

authority. Except Mulder had shared the man’s

suspicions, nearly losing his badge and life in

the process, and Skinner generously wrote the

case off as a folie a deux – a delusion shared by

two.

What had flavored Ralston’s delusion?

“Hey,” Mulder greeted the hostages. “I’m Special

Agent Fox Mulder, and we’re going to see if we

can’t resolve this as quickly as possible, OK? So

what are your names?” I applauded the gesture:

Mulder not only was reassuring the frightened

knot of captives, he was reminding Ralston of

their humanity. I wondered again at Mulder’s

ability to keep his own humanity in the face of

the cosmic truths and colossal doubts he tilted

daily at.

Ralston calmly allowed the hostages to respond to

Mulder’s roll, tensing visibly as a small but

muscular and well-groomed man – one of the two

fellow drones – stammered out his name, Brad

Scheffler. Mulder settled back into his chair, as

if preparing for a 60 Minutes interview.

“So, they tell me you’re not quite yourself these

days,” he said casually.

“Shit,” the captain murmured behind me. He and I

both knew it wasn’t good negotiating strategy to

immediately question the hostage-taker’s mental

state or sanity.

“Exactly,” Ralston responded happily, surprising

us all.

**

There’s a famous psychological case study – a

young boy so emotionally detached from those

around him, so alienated from the joys and

feelings of others, that he had come to believe

he was a robot. Dissociation was a not uncommon

response to the pain and emptiness of feeling

untethered from the mass of humanity. My – a

psychotherapist had explained it to me once: When

we cannot adapt or fit in, we tend to erase

ourselves through passive surrender, others

though dismissal or negligence, or, in too many

of the cases Mulder and I have investigated,

both, bottling our pain inside until it explodes

in resentment and agony and irreparable damage.

Ken Ralston’s story was a magnum opus of

dissociation.

“I realized something was seriously fucked up a

few days after the accident, after they put me in

a private room at St. Joe’s,” he told Mulder.

“I’m not like a news junkie or anything, but the

soap operas and the trash talk shows were driving

me out of my tree, so I started watching CNN. So

anyway, they’re doing some newsbriefs, talking

about President Bush’s trip to China or

something, and they show the president getting

off the plane. And it’s not him.”

“What?” the captain muttered rhetorically.

“It’s not him?” Mulder probed.

“It’s not Jeb Bush.”

“Jeb Bush is the president?” Mulder asked it

without a trace of irony or ridicule.

“Except he’s not anymore,” Ralston said, reliving

what must have been the world-shaking impact of

his “discovery.” “And that wasn’t all. Like I

said, I’m not a current events guy, but there

were all kinds of screwy things going on. Anwar

Sadat wasn’t the president of Egypt any more, and

there was no mention of the Bosnian peace accord.

It was all that was on CNN for weeks before it

happened.

“I tried to write it off to some colossal case of

post-traumatic disorientation, maybe even some

brain damage – I was underwater for a godawful

long time. When I got home, things seemed better,

at first. Yeah, the furniture seemed a little

different in places, the kids were a little

rowdier than I had remembered. But, hell, what

happened to us was kinda rattling, you know. But

then, a few weeks later, Kris – my wife – and I

got in bed, and she started, well, you know. She

wanted to make love.”

“And you couldn’t,” Fox said sympathetically.

Impotence wouldn’t have been an unusual response

in the aftermath of Ralston’s accident.

As if he had read my mind, Ralston sighed. “Kris

was very understanding about it, said it would

take a while after what had happened to get back

to, well, to normal. But the thing is… Fuck.”

“Hey, take your time.”

“The thing is, there isn’t any normal,” Ralston

said, through his teeth, “I haven’t been able to

get it up for more than a year. You could ask my

doctor, but he says nothing was wrong before the

accident. So I’m wondering what the fuck’s the

matter with everybody, maybe with me. Sean, my

eight-year-old, suddenly is great at math and

sucks at reading, the opposite of what it was

before. And Brynda, my girl, is now Brenda, and

the goddamned birth certificate in our fire safe

says so, even though I picked the fucking name

myself.”

I felt a growing sense of apprehension. Ralston’s

carefully civilized conversation was

deteriorating into erratic cursing. Contain the

chaos, I willed Mulder.

“And when you came back to the office here,” my

partner concluded, “These people were waiting,

including him.”

I tried to determine who “him” was, but one of

the hostages beat me to the punch.

“Kenny, man, it’s me,” Brad Scheffler wailed. “We

went to fucking high school together!”

My chair squeaked back as I gripped its arms and

the captain leapt to his feet. Ralston had

knocked his chair over and trained his automatic

on Scheffler. The supervisor squeezed his eyes

shut as the administrative assistant whimpered.

“Brad,” Mulder asked, politely. “Give us a few

minutes here. I want to hear Ken’s version right

now, OK?”

The courteous banality of Mulder’s response

seemed to defuse the situation, but the tactical

commander appeared in my peripheral vision. “He’s

losing it, you can hear that. I think we need to

start devising come alternate responses.”

I wheeled around. “I disagree. Agent Mulder’s a

behavioral scientist – his methods are a

little…unorthodox…but he has control of the

situation.”

The commander planted his left cheek on the

table’s edge. The monitor jiggled. “I know about

Mulder. And you. I know who you both are, and

what. It raises serious questions about whether

you should even be sitting here.”

“Can we stay on task here?” I snapped. He seemed

unfazed by the ice in my voice, but he rose and

moved temporarily away. The commander hadn’t been

the first to do his homework, nor had he been the

first to register his disapproval about Mulder

and I’s place in the Bureau.

“Does he?” the Bloomington captain asked with no

discernable emotion. “Have control?”

“Yes.”

He nodded and looked back to the monitor.

“So I walk in, and here’s this guy I’ve never

seen in my life sitting in the next office,”

Ralston continued. “I introduce myself, and he

just looks at me like I’m fuckin’ insane. Asks

how I’m feeling, asks about Kris and the kids. I

ask about Ted, where he went to. I hadn’t heard

anything about Ted getting fired or quitting or

anything. Brad here just keeps looking at me,

which I’ve gotten incredibly tired of getting

from people, so I just shut my mouth and get back

to work.

“But there are things, you know? My Windows isn’t

working quite the same – the keyboard commands

are slightly different, and I damn near delete a

major report the first week back trying to print

it. The company claim procedures are a little

wacky, though I admit they seem to work better,

and the paperwork is just slightly out-of-whack.

That’s the thing, man: Most of the changes are

just little things, like somebody went with ALT-F

for the Word File menu instead of the Format

menu, or the Coffee Butler is now Mr. Coffee, and

there’s no such fucking thing as a Coffee Butler

machine, and everybody looks at you like you

ought to be committed for even suggesting there

is.”

Mulder leaned forward, with the effect of zooming

in on Ralston’s face. “So it’s as if the world

you’re living in now has been revised – like the

choices people have made were different, but not

drastically.”

“Like a parallel universe,” Ralston sighed.

“Somehow I came back from the dead to a world

where Bill Gates decided to make the Save key a

Delete key and Ted is off somewhere, probably

playing on the PGA tour like he always wanted

to.”

“But no Woodrow Wilson dimes, huh?”

“Woodrow Wilson –?”

“Story by Jack Finney about a man who finds

himself in a parallel world where Wilson’s on the

dime instead of Roosevelt. Nothing like that,

huh?”

Ralston was silent for a second, and I wondered

if Mulder had pressed some hidden and deadly

button within the displaced corporate family man.

But Ralston slumped back in his chair, his eyes

haunted.

“Just one thing,” he said.

**

“Um, Agent Scully,” the captain coughed. “This is

Kris Ralston, Mr. Ralston’s wife?”

My irritation at being drawn from the monitor

dissipated immediately. “Mrs. Ralston.”

She was blonde and trim and as wholesomely

Midwestern as a Wisconsin extra hand-picked by

Steven Spielberg to play a farm-raised suburban

housewife. “Are you people going to get him out

of this alive?” Kris Ralston asked tremulously.

“He’s not a violent man; he never was. There’s no

need to hurt him, because I know he won’t hurt

those people.”

“Mrs. Ralston, my partner is a trained expert in

psychological behavior, and I can assure you his

one and only objective is to bring your husband

and his coworkers out of that office, alive and

well.”

Kris virtually collapsed into a chair. “It was

all so good before we almost lost him. Now, it’s

like he’s…”

“A different person?”

“That’s what he seems to think, isn’t it? Except

he’s not different; we all are.”

**

“I was really thinking about seeing a shrink –

the hospital had recommended it, and Kris

supported the idea. Then, one morning, I was

having a bagel. A round bagel.” Ralston chuckled

bitterly at the notion. “I look out the window,

and there it is, sitting on the fence. Like

seeing a dodo or a tyrannosaurus eating out of

your bird feeder. I don’t know how I avoided

seeing them before.”

“What?” Mulder asked.

“It was a squirrel. A red one. Just sitting there

as if nothing was wrong.”

“And that was unusual because?”

clip_image004

“Because they’re all fucking dead, every single

red fucking squirrel in North America, or the

world, for that matter. I remember when I was a

kid, when that disease hit all of them. You’d

find them lying on the ground, even falling out

of trees. They blamed it on some new strain of

rabies or avian influenza or something. But

here’s one sitting in my backyard, like he just

came out of a fucking 25-year hibernation. I

start yelling for everybody to come see. The kids

are like bug-eyed at Daddy waving his arms like a

bloody lunatic, and Kris… Kris is just…standing

there crying, man. And that’s how I knew it

wasn’t me, Agent Mulder. Because of the

squirrels.

“So I started doing some research on the

Internet, which wasn’t easy because it seemed

like every word I keyed in brought up some porno

site, which isn’t how it is…well, you know.”

“Yeah, I know, it’s awful.” Mulder coughed.

“I checked the Library of Congress, history

sites, the White House home page, old ’60s sitcom

fan pages, anything that might help me understand

and, I guess, ‘pass’ for whatever normal is in

this world.”

“Did Gilligan get off the island in your world?”

Mulder inquired.

Ralston then laughed, a release of tension and

dread that made me relax as well. Kris was biting

her lip, her eyes welling.

“Yeah, matter of fact,” Ralston replied, showing

me a glimpse of the nine-to-fiver who’d seemingly

been left at the bottom of a lake somewhere.

“They get back to the mainland, hate how much

things have changed in the five years they were

gone, and move back to start their own society.

With a resort hotel, of course.”

A thought had been formulating in my mind, one

spiked with too many pre-med psych courses and,

possibly, too many years basking in the

brainwaves of Fox Mulder. I took a breath, and

turned to Kris. “Mrs. Ralston, what happened?

Right before the accident? What changed?”

**

“I think it started in 1945,” Ralston said.

“That’s where the differences start, where things

start to peel off.”

“Peel off?”

“Things start to develop differently than I

remember them. Joe McCarthy has those horrible

Communist witch hunts here; he got caught with a

young boy in my world before things really got

going. Nixon almost beat Kennedy in my world. The

Watts Riots never happened where I came from.

Disco never happened in my world.”

“Yow, can I go?”

“And, of course, there’s the squirrels. Nothing

changed before 1945, that I could find, that is.

Then I found your theories. I was visiting a lot

of the paranormal discussion forums on the Web,

and I came across your theories about time,

parallel planes of existence. It didn’t take long

to track the messages to you, through some of the

others.

“You said you thought it was possible that there

might be several, maybe infinite timestreams that

split off into different probabilities, and that

maybe cosmic calamities or events could cause

disruptions in existing streams.”

Mulder grinned. “Shoulda stuck to the Britney

Spears chatroom, just knew it. Look, Mr. Ralston,

Ken, that was just my wildass speculation, a

little Einstein, a little Stephen Hawking, a

little Sliders, probably. The good Fox episodes,

not the sucky Sci-Fi Channel ones.”

“What does 1945 mean to you?” Ralston probed

abruptly.

Mulder was silent for a second. “The end of World

War II? The A-bomb…”

“August 6, 1945, the Enola Gay drops the first

bomb on Hiroshima, Japan. Some 130,000 people

killed, injured, or missing, and 177,000 made

homeless. Three days later, we drop the second

one on Nagasaki. A third of the city’s wasted,

and another 66,000 people are killed or injured.

OK – so what if by splitting the atom, they did

something else, something more, um, more cosmic?”

More silence. “Well, scientists suppose a

relationship between matter, energy, and time,

and they’ve found subatomic particles with some

pretty strange properties that defy physical law

as we know it. You’re saying that when we split

the atom on that massive a scale, we might have

started some other kind of subatomic chain

reaction? Two timestreams ‘peeled off’ from each

other? Only one problem I can see: The bombs

dropped on Japan weren’t the first atomic blasts,

and, of course, Earth isn’t the center of the

universe. Major natural nuclear events must

happen every day somewhere in the universe. By

your theory, alternate timestreams would be

splitting off all over the place.”

“How do we know I’m not just the first guy to

cross over between timestreams?” Ralston

demanded. “Or how do we know other people

haven’t? Look at all the psychos and lost souls

out there. These people on the street who

could’ve just dropped out of nowhere. Maybe I’m

just the first one who knows what happened to

him. What? That’s funny?”

Kris and I straightened at the new note of

tension in Ralston’s voice. Mulder’s

unpredictable responses could short-circuit the

violence in a room or, in the wrong circles,

bring on a minor shitstorm.

“No, it isn’t what you said,” Mulder mused. “You

ever see It’s a Wonderful Life?”

Ralston leaned back, struck dumb by my partner’s

non sequitur. Then he grinned. “Jesus, haven’t

seen that one in years. I love it at the end

where Jimmy Stewart comes running into the house

hugging everybody, even though he thinks they’re

about to haul his ass off to prison.”

“Jimmy Stew–?” Kris murmured curiously. I held

up a hand.

“It’s a wonderful movie,” Mulder agreed. “I

always thought it was one of the most underrated

sci-fi flicks of the ’40s.”

“Sci-fi?”

“Sure. The whole concept of alternate realities –

the chain reaction of interpersonal and cosmic

changes resulting from George Bailey’s sudden

non-existence. A Christmas Carol explores some of

the same territory, in some ways in an even more

philosophical –”

“Uh, Agent, pardon me, but what the fuck does

this have to do with anything?”

“Well, look around. Here we are on Christmas Eve;

you got pulled out of the water to find yourself

in this strange new world where everything’s

turned out different than you remember. I’ve been

summoned to make sure you don’t take yourself out

along with these folks.”

Ralston shook his head and smirked. “What, that

makes you Clarence the Angel or something?”

“Teacher says, ‘Every time a witness sings,

another agent gets his wings,'” Mulder recited.

“Hey, you called me, right? Pretend you’ve been

touched by an angel for a second, and cut me a

little slack. You got your folks’ phone number

handy?”

Ralston leaned forward, the gun still tightly in

his grip. “There’s just my mom now. Why do you

need her number? I can tell you anything you want

to know. She’s been through enough — don’t bug

her, man.”

“From what you’ve been saying, she’s not your

mother, anyway.”

“She’s my mother, just in another, Jesus, life?

Even if she wasn’t, I wouldn’t dump this on her.”

“Listen, Ken,” Mulder said placidly. “I want to

help you, but more than that, I’m here to make

sure nothing happens to these people. Way the

media is, if your family hasn’t called your

mother, the Action News Team has filled her in.

At the risk of being tactless, you’ve made this

omelette; what eggs are broken are broken. Can I

have the number, please, Ken? Trust me.”

Ralston sighed and rose, backing to his desk.

“Let me check the Rolodex. For my own mom’s

number. Jesus.” He rifled through the cards,

glancing frequently at Mulder. My partner didn’t

budge, thank God.

Finally, Ralston reluctantly handed him a

relatively new card. Mulder propped it on his

knee and punched out a number.

“By the way, Ken, when did your dad die?” he

asked before hitting the send button.

“Here, you mean? About a year ago, hit his head

in the tub. In my timestream, he’s been gone

since I was about 12.”

I nearly jumped a yard when the phone rang at my

elbow.

**

“Mrs. Ralston?” Mulder inquired. I remained

silent – I’d learned long ago to ride his rhythms

and just trust his odd instincts. “This is

Special Agent Fox Mulder with the Federal Bureau

of Investigation. I’m with your son right now…No,

ma’am; he’s just fine, Mrs. Ralston. Nobody’s

been hurt, and he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. If

you could answer just a few questions for me,

maybe we can resolve this real soon. Yes, it’s

very important. Thanks.

“First off, how did Ken and his dad get along?

It’s crucial that you’re absolutely straight with

me.”

“Mulder, I was talking to Kris Ralston, the wife?

What she told me may cast some light on the

situation.” I filled him in as quickly as his

unrelated question allowed.

“That’s interesting. They do a lot of things

together? Oh, like fishing, baseball, hunting?

Ah, really. What kind? Uh huh. And when did they

start doing that?”

“I’m sure you realize this isn’t an X-File,

Mulder. I think Ralston’s a victim of a

dissociative fugue, except where a person in a

fugue state normally forgets his personal

identity or wanders away to establish a whole new

identity somewhere else, Ralston has dissociated

his environment rather than himself. Here’s the

kicker: Dissociative fugue usually occurs after

serious psychological stress of some kind, such

as the death of a family member, the loss of a

job, or a failed relationship.”

“That’s very illuminating, Mrs. Ralston. One last

question, if I may. Is Ken a movie buff? I mean,

does he follow movies, actors. No? Hmm. OK. Yes,

ma’am; I will certainly tell him that. Yes, I

believe I can. Just try to relax, Mrs. Ralston.”

“Mulder, you have to be careful here. If you just

tell him–”

With a click at my end and a beep from the

monitor, he was gone. “Damn it, Mulder,” I cried

out. Whatever game he was playing, I was now

‘out.’

“He won’t want to hear that,” the tactical

commander said blankly. “If your ‘partner’ tells

him he’s a Section 8, it could push him over.

Especially if he gives him any details.”

“Mulder’s a behavioral scientist,” I said through

my teeth. “He knows what buttons to push and when

to push them.”

“Gotta man in a window across the courtyard with

infrared and a long-range rifle in case the wrong

button gets pushed. Thought you ought to know

that.” The commander sauntered away.

I glanced back at the Bloomington captain. He

sighed deeply and shrugged. Under the

circumstances, it was probably as strong a vote

of confidence as Mulder could get.

Then I made some connections I supposed Mulder

wanted me to make. I turned to the anxious woman

beside me.

“Mrs. Ralston, is your husband a movie buff?”

**

“What do you do here, Ken, specifically?” Mulder

asked.

“We all work in death claims – investigations,

mostly,” Ralston answered slowly.

“Pretty shitty work, I’d guess. Buffy slips some

rat poison in Aunt Sarah’s chamomile tea. Marge

shoves Earl down the trailer steps, then tries to

cash in on the big lotto. Joe puts a bullet

through his brain, not realizing he’s canceling

his family’s ticket with the insurance company.”

Ralston’s gun hand elevated an inch or so.

“What’s your point?”

“My point is, you’re a trained insurance

investigator who witnesses the dank side of

humanity and the darkest grief imaginable on a

daily basis. When your – or his dad, if you wish

– died in what I have to believe is a rather

unusual household accident, I have to think that

would rouse an investigator’s suspicions. It

would mine. What do you think the other Ken

Ralston might’ve found out?”

“I don’t know,” Ralston responded, tersely.

“OK. Now, do you recall how your dad died, when

you were 12?”

“Heart attack, plain and simple, no question. It

devastated us – he was a wonderful guy.”

Mulder was silent for a second. “You know, it’s,

well, just, strange.”

“What?”

“Your mother, his mother, whatever, said you and

your father had your issues. Like a lot of guys

who were raised in a rural environment in the

’50s, she said your dad was very concerned about

raising you according to his own very specific

definition of a real man. Her words, not mine. It

seems that when Alternate Ken turned 13, his dad

initiated him into the grand Central Illinois

tradition of squirrel hunting. According to his

mother, he didn’t much take to it. Ken’s dad

practically had to force him to go.”

Ralston sat rigidly, staring at Mulder.

“And now you tell me you come from a world where

the squirrel has been wiped from the face of the

Earth. Bear with me, Ken. You tell me you live in

a world where McCarthy never hunted Communists,

never killed the careers and souls of hundreds of

men and women. Where Anwar Sadat was never

assassinated right at the height of hopes for a

Middle East peace treaty. Where the war in Bosnia

was about to come to an end after centuries of

civil strife. Where Gilligan, Skipper, and the

rest found their way back to society, found it

wanting, and chose to return to their island

Eden. And your Dad died of natural causes before

you would even have turned 13.”

Ralston looked tightly at Mulder. “So you think

I’m a mental case, too?”

“I’m stating another possible scientific

explanation for your situation. See, I don’t know

if you realize it, but in addition to being

versed in the paranormal, I’m also a behavioral

scientist. You’ve given me one possible rationale

for what’s happened to you, within the context of

physical science. I view psychology as merely the

laws of physics as regard the human mind. Mental

stimuli, emotional trauma, and guilt influence

our actions just as physical forces affect matter

and energy. You want me to go on?”

Ralston breathed deeply. “All right. Just in

English, please.”

“First, I want to ask you to release these

people.”

Ralston laughed harshly. “You’re shitting me,

right? You do think I’m whacko, don’t you?”

“Labeling you as whacko makes as much sense as

labeling a quark or a tachyon as an aberrant

personality. No, I have a very specific reason for

wanting these people out of here, so we can talk

candidly. Look, you still got Clarence the Angel

here as a hostage.”

“Good man,” the captain murmured behind my

shoulder. I was reserving judgment; I didn’t like

Mulder going mano-a-mano with an emotionally

distraught, armed, delusional man.

“This works, I’ll eat my baton,” the tactical

commander said tactlessly.

“I’ll supply the salt,” I offered, my eyes

riveted on the monitor.

“There’s something wrong with this,” Ralston

hesitated, rubbing his temples.

“I have no desire, nor hopefully do any of the

officers downstairs, to see my brains decorating

these tastefully appointed walls,” my partner

assured him. “Nobody’s going to pull a Steven

Seagal just because it’s me instead of four

taxpayers.”

“Pull a who?”

“Wow, that must be a wonderful universe you come

from. What do you say, Ken? You called me; you

trust me. Trust me for a few minutes longer. A

few more minutes won’t really matter either way,

will they, Ken?”

I felt a pang at the intimate nature of Mulder’s

last comment. Something was going to happen we

hadn’t planned for, and Mulder was the only one

who knew what it was.

“Sure, let ’em go, sure,” Ralston finally

announced, wearily.

“Thanks. Let me call down, let ’em know they’re

coming, OK? After I send these guys down the

hallway – that way, you know there aren’t any

tricks, no cops waiting outside the door.”

“Sure.”

“Shit, he’s giving away the goddamned game!” the

tactical commander shouted. “I can’t possibly get

anybody into position before he releases those

hostages.”

“I believe that’s the new game plan,” I

suggested. “Everybody comes out alive.”

The commander planted a hand a foot from my elbow

and leaned dangerously close to my left ear. “I

don’t know how many NYPD Blues you’ve seen,

Agent, but that’s my game plan, too. I just have

a lot more moves and a lot more experience on the

field.”

“I don’t see any point to this,” the captain

snapped. “The man’s done what he’s done, and at

least he getting the hostages out of the firing

line. As for the rest, I’d suggest we do what I’d

be doing at St. Mary’s Christmas Eve Mass right

now, if this day hadn’t gotten so totally fucked

up.”

This bit of theological counsel, coming from such

an incongruous source, knocked the fight out of

the tactical commander, and transported me

momentarily to a place I’d repressed, of candles

and icons and rosaries, of the basso-profundo

rumbling of my rough military man father reciting

Latin phrases I had no doubt he understood

perfectly, of freshly scrubbed good Catholic

girls with simple and unsullied faith.

“…and lead us not into temptation…” The hairs on

the back of my neck bristled at the whispered

invocation. I looked to my side, where Kris

Ralston sat, head inclined, eyes squeezed shut,

lips moving softly. The captain looked up at the

tactical commander, who nodded curtly and walked

away.

Mulder and Ralston were done untying the

hostages, who they now herded to the suite door.

Mulder’s micro-cam swept the hallway outside,

then panned back to the group. “Move as fast as

you can to the elevators, and go to the cafeteria

floor. OK?”

The hostages nodded numbly and allowed themselves

to be ushered into the hall. Ralston’s supervisor

had to help one of the traumatized desk jockeys

along, but they finally disappeared into the

elevator car, and I heard Mulder exhale.

“I think we’re alone now,” he told Ralston, who

frowned at the joke. “They don’t know that one in

your universe, do they? You must be hell on

karaoke night. Let’s call downstairs now, OK?”

“OK,” Ralston said in a new voice, one I didn’t

like.

My phone rang a few seconds later. “Hostages are

on the way down – don’t let Lance exercise

extreme prejudice on ’em,” Mulder advised.

“Mulder,” I said, my voice dry and high. “I don’t

know what you have in mind, but make damned sure

you know what the hell you’re doing. If you get

yourself killed, I’ll dog you into Eternity.”

“If this is going to turn into a personal call,

I’m afraid we’ll have to terminate the

discussion. You know company policy.” The line

went dead.

**

“Under my theory, this started about a year ago,

when Eugene Ralston died in a household accident.

Ken Ralston worked in death claims; it was only

natural he’d be curious. Maybe he picked up on

some bad vibes or an off-tone. Maybe he found out

his mother had a role in his father’s death;

maybe he found out his father had been drinking;

maybe there was a fight. Whatever happened, it

hit Ken hard, all the more so because he’d never

gotten along with his father.”

“Look, don’t patronize me,” Ralston said.

“OK. Bad blood plus death frequently breeds

guilt, and it isn’t unreasonable to assume a

daily litany of death and deceit at the office

added to the stress. But I believe things came to

a head just before your accident at the lake.”

“Before?”

“I don’t know how it happened, but you found out

about your wife.”

“Mulder,” I barely uttered, my heart beginning to

pound in my ears. Ralston raised his weapon, his

eyes locked on Mulder’s.

“What about Kris?”

“Think about it, Ken: If indeed Brad Scheffler’s

been working in this office with you for more

than five years, why would he be the only person

to vanish from your world when you came back from

the dead? The man your wife’s been having an

affair with over the past several months.”

“God,” the captain murmured. “Glad he got

Scheffler outta there.” Kris’ face was buried in

her hands as she wept silently.

“That’s a bit much to ask of even cosmic

coincidence, isn’t it, Ken? Couldn’t it be the

final blow to your emotionally fragile state,

combined with your brush with mortality, your

second chance, as it were, could’ve spurred you

to mentally erase Scheffler from existence?”

Ralston leveled his gun, his face locked in

knotted muscles.

“You got a shot?” the tactical commander demanded

urgently into his radio, I assumed to the

infrared sniper across the courtyard.

“Roger,” the radio crackled. I sat mute before

the monitor; I knew I should try to delay the

execution order, but I couldn’t speak or move.

The gun wavered, then moved swiftly to Ken

Ralston’s temple.

“Fucking shit,” the commander murmured.

“Ken,” Mulder said with a maddening serenity. “I

thought I just explained to you why that won’t

get you anywhere. That is why you asked me to

come here, right?”

Ken Ralston’s electronic image began to shake,

and even through the microcam’s relatively low-

resolution transmission, I could see his irises

disappear in a sea of welling tears.

I jumped as Ralston dropped his weapon with a

clatter, and remembered again to breathe as

Mulder engulfed him in his arms…

**

My partner came through the cafeteria door a few

minutes later, his arm around Ralston’s shoulder.

The Bloomington captain accepted the man gently,

then handed him off to Kris Ralston. As Ralston

collapsed into his wife’s embrace, she began to

sob, out of relief, remorse, release, I don’t

know.

The Peoria tactical commander clamped a hand on

Mulder’s shoulder and turned him around. “You

must use a powerful antiperspirant, ‘Lance.'”

Mulder grinned. “Merry Christmas, General.”

I moved quickly around the desk.

“Hey, Scully, hope you saved some eggnog for me–

And that’s when I slapped him, as hard as I

possibly could.

**

“Your face feel any better?” I asked timidly as

Mulder and I hurtled through the stratosphere

somewhere over the Eastern Corn Belt or the

Appalachians. The Peoria tactical commander,

whose name in fact was Ted, threw us both a curve

by volunteering his weekend flying skills to get

us back to D.C. and Christmas dinner. Under the

circumstances, the combined influence of the

Bloomington and Peoria P.D.s and Farmstead

Insurance were enough to get us early morning

clearance out of Bloomington Airport.

Mulder waggled his jaw. “You hit like a girl.

Then again, I take pain like a 5-year-old.”

“You frightened me. You took an unnecessary

chance, and charged headlong into what could have

been a tragic outcome. I could have…” I looked

out into the black sky.

“Look,” Mulder said calmly. “I had to slap

Ralston, shock him into accepting what I was

telling him. That’s why I got Scheffler out of

the office. If I was going to get Ralston out of

there alive, I had to convince him his condition

was psychological, not physical.

“Don’t you see where this was going? Why do you

think Ralston asked for me? He could have e-

mailed me, called me, and the odds were his story

would have intrigued me enough to meet with him.

So why force this dramatic scene? Was I going to

get him out of this hostage situation clean? Too

late for that. Did he honestly believe I’d have

the answer to his dilemma, that I could teleport

him back home? Of course not. The only possible

reason for Ralston to summon me was to confirm

his worst suspicions. I’m the FBI’s loose cannon,

the guy who values the truth over the

consequences, who’ll buy into anything — except

of course Ben Affleck’s acting ability. And once

I’d confirmed his theory, Ralston felt he could

take the step he had determined was necessary to

return to his ‘world.'”

I looked at Mulder, dimly lit in the tiny

passenger compartment. “To go back the way he

came in.”

“Exactly. The only solution Ralston could reason

out was to leave this existence and take the

chance of passing through the same wormhole or

corridor or rift he’d entered through. I don’t

believe Ken Ralston would have taken my life back

there, but I think he was willing to take his own

life on the off-chance he could return home.”

“So the realization that he was profoundly

delusional actually saved his life.”

Mulder breathed. “The Big Lie for the greater

good. I guess I’ve learned well. Call it my

Christmas gift to Ralston and his family. I’ll

testify as to his emotional state; maybe he’ll

get a light sentence for treatment. Every day,

some headshrinker plants a false memory in some

willing patient’s skull — maybe a misguidedly

talented therapist can persuade Ralston that this

is his home, that Kris and the kids are his

reality. God help him and me.”

“Mulder, you don’t really believe Ralston’s story

is true, do you? Parallel universes? Alternate

realities?”

My partner leaned back in his seat. “Who’s to

say, Scully? In our world, Joe McCarthy throws

’50s America into a state of Cold War panic,

helping form young Eugene Ralston into a macho

role model intent on making his son a ‘real’ man.

Maybe a real man who can’t emotionally connect

with his wife, who then takes up with Brad

Scheffler. In another, McCarthy is disgraced and

Eugene dies young, leaving his son to grow up in

a kinder, gentler world where Nixon’s darker

nature doesn’t emerge and he almost wins against

Kennedy. In their world, Jeb Bush gets interested

in politics rather than banking; in ours, Laura

Bush becomes our first woman president. And in

the world our Ken Ralston dropped in from, Brad

Scheffler shows an aptitude for Renaissance

literature instead of actuarial tables.”

I smiled at the idea of Jeb Bush in the White

House instead of his far-brighter sister-in-law.

Might as well have the president’s goofy, tongue-

tangled husband, George, in the Oval Office.

“If there are parallel realities, maybe we’re not

talking about dinosaurs evolving into the master

species instead of humans, or the U.S. becoming a

monarchy ruled by France. Maybe the differences

for the most part would be incremental — a

different path taken here, a different roll of

the dice there.”

“My God, if that were true, what happens to our

basic spiritual beliefs, to our concept of a

higher power guiding the universe?”

Mulder shrugged. “Why are our concepts of science

and religion and psychology and faith so rigid

and mutually exclusive? From a theological view,

humanity is tested every day. Racial attitudes,

tolerance, charity — maybe these are that higher

power’s way of putting us through the rat’s maze.

Maybe there are a hundred, a thousand, a million

test groups out there, all vying to become some

sort of golden people. In a universe of black

holes, quasars, and Paris Hilton, why is that an

impossible notion?”

It was just like Mulder, deconstructing the

entire Judeo-Christian precept while arguing for

the existence of God. “You presented such a

compelling case for dissociative delusion,” I

pointed out. “What could possibly make you prefer

such a fantastic alternative?”

Mulder smiled. “Did you ask Kris Ralston if her

husband was a film buff?”

“As a matter of fact, he is not.”

“All right, then. Do you remember Jimmy Stewart?”

“A little before my time, Mulder. He was a

promising young actor back in the ’30s and ’40s,

right?”

“Who, like many Hollywood stars of his era,

enlisted to serve his country during WWII. In the

final days of the war, following the bombings of

Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Stewart, a U.S. Army Air

Force pilot, experienced engine failure and

crashed into the Pacific Ocean. You ever seen

It’s a Wonderful Life?”

“Gary Cooper, Donna Reed? It’s a classic. They

used to show it, what, 200,000 times every

Christmas. Now the network promotes the shit out

of it. Who hasn’t seen –?” I stopped. “But Ken

Ralston said…”

clip_image006

“That Jimmy Stewart starred in It’s a Wonderful

Life, which Frank Capra’s Liberty Films produced

after Stewart died. And that’s the kicker. Maybe

Ken Ralston might’ve had his head in a cave and

not seen one of the cinema’s greatest Christmas

stories, next to Lethal Weapon, of course. But

it’s a little-known fact that Stewart originally

was the studio’s prime pick to play George Bailey

in It’s a Wonderful Life, before his tragic

death. That isn’t general knowledge. Where would

Ralston have gotten such a piece of information,

even to help formulate another piece of his

fantasy?

“I believe that in Ken Ralston’s alternate world,

Jimmy Stewart survived the war to portray George

Bailey. But had I backed up Ralston’s theory,

where would he go from there? Stranded in a

strange world among strangers who were near

approximations of those he loved? Even in our own

world, there’s often little keeping even the

sanest person anchored in place.”

I took Mulder’s hand, feeling him stroke the gold

band on my left hand, the one he’d given me a

year after I’d joined the X-Files.

“Well, one other good thing came out of this,” I

suggested. “I think Ted up there has changed his

view of married agents, even if Assistant

Director Doggett hasn’t. The whole time you were

with Ralston, he kept grumbling about knowing

‘what we are,’ and questioning my ability to back

you up. Now, he’s chauffeuring us back to

Washington.”

Mulder winced. “Which reminds me, Scully: You

were supposed to bring the dessert for Christmas

dinner, weren’t you? You know Samantha loves your

French silk pie.”

“I can rustle up something from the side of the

Gello Pudding box,” I assured him. “Mr. Spender

can have a pack of Morleys for dessert. I know

he’s your parents’ oldest friend, but I wish he’d

find another family to scrounge Christmas dinner

from or get on the patch or something.”

Mulder just smiled and squeezed my hand. Below, I

could see the lights of Washington’s Charlton

Heston Airport.

“Merry Christmas, Fox,” I murmured.

“Merry Christmas, Melissa,” he responded before

dozing off.

END

Docked

Title: Docked

Author: Martin Ross

Spoilers: Kill Switch

Summary: A senator is targeted by a would-be assassin with

more powerful connections than the politician’s and,

possibly, an accomplice from Mulder and Scully’s past.

Written for Virtual Season 12 with exclusive rights for two

weeks.

Category: Casefile

Rating: PG-13 — adult language

Disclaimer: Mr. Carter and the gang own it; I just visit.

clip_image001

National Cybernetics and Informatics Laboratory

Arlington, Va.

1984

Dr. Witthauer leaned back in the plush swivel chair her

director recently had had installed in her clean room, an

uncharacteristic smile imbuing her face with the modest

beauty she had worked years to suppress.

Felicia Witthauer wasn’t given to mirth: She once had been

induced to watch some inane television farce dubbed

“Three’s Company” with her husband — himself no font of

good cheer — and as a result had banished the set to the

basement rec room. She did not appreciate movies: The

logical holes distracted her beyond comprehension or

enjoyment. Novels were an unnecessary abstraction, a

distortion of real life where the dice of fortune and

reason were loaded in favor of improbable heroes.

The object of Dr. Witthauer’s warm sense of triumph was an

algorithm — quite possibly, the algorithm. Dry palms

resting on her abdomen, she regarded the equation on her

computer screen with an almost maternal love. People were

unstable; code and mathematics, always reliable. Perhaps

only God could make a tree, although her colleagues in the

biotechnology field were challenging the premise, but only

science could make something this perfect, this true, and

this momentous.

She grasped the arm of her chair as her smile curled with

another spasm in her temple. Proof of the essential bugs

hardwired into organic life, Dr. Witthauer reflected.

Nearly daily nausea and migraines periodically interrupted

her crucial work, although she tuned out her husband’s

urgings to consult their family physician, a competent

enough applied scientist who nonetheless insisted on

injecting an annoying note of pathos into her visits.

Witthauer placed her hand on the case of her PC, sighing

inaudibly as its muted electronic vibrations tingled

through her fingers. She surveyed the supercomputers

flanking her — a cybernetic Stonehenge, holding the

secrets of a more perfect world only she could unlock.

The room gave her comfort, or what others might think of as

comfort. Here, there was precision unmarred by human

foibles and emotional excesses.

Now content, she turned back to her perfect algorithm,

ignoring the restless vibration in her own swollen abdomen…

Avalon Hydro-Components

Baltimore

11:20 a.m.

As much thought had gone into Sen. Clark Farriman’s

wardrobe as had been put into his remarks to the assembled

management and crew of Avalon Hydro-Components

and the metro, regional, and Washington press corps

recording the campaign event.

A suit was out: This was East Coast, hard-core union

territory, and fine tailoring tended to boil the red,

white, and blue-collared blood of this group. The labor

crowd also was wary of candidates who pretended toward the

proletariat, and a Chambray work shirt, jeans, a Carhartt

jacket would more likely generate snickers and snorts than

fervent feelings of kinship or admiration.

Sports shirt and khakis seemed the best bet. Nothing pastel

— Clark prided himself on as manly an image as anyone on

Capitol Hill could muster without pissing off the Left. No

polo players or animals embroidered onto his chest, no

effete designer labels stitched on his ass — labels

(except on beer) bred class hatred, and half this shit

probably was made in China or Honduras, anyway.

Clark thus entered the plant in a campaign uniform closer

to Eddie Bauer than K-Mart. Plausable but not elitist — he

was dressed like most of the foremen and mid-level execs

now applauding his entrance. And it was reasonably

unprompted applause: Clark’s Senate district included plant

workers, dockworkers, and other patriotic types who might

follow union voting mandates but who brooked little

bullshit when it came to the type of apple pie issues Clark

dealt in and, most of the time, believed in.

“Aw, c’mon,” the senator “protested,” waving off the whoops

and cheers. “You’re just happy to get an extra break

today!”

Self-effacement — that was the key. Let the rank-and-file

know you have a sense of humor, that you know that they

know politicians essentially amount to little more than a

warm bucket of spit in the scheme of their blood-and-sweat

lives. Clark beamed as he joined the plant manager and an

ethnically diverse, carefully selected delegation of line

workers. He could afford to be nonchalant — after the last

two mishaps, the staff had beefed up security, and the

factory’s workers had been subjected to discreet background

checks.

“I know you want to get back to work,” he winked, drawing a

gentle ripple of mock derision from the coveralled crew

and, hopefully, a warm moment on the six o’clock

broadcasts. “But I wanted to come out today and ask you to

join me in helping keep plants like this at full production

and jobs like yours here in America.”

A wild burst of applause followed his carefully formulated

remarks. Clark ducked his head as if he had no idea his

humble thoughts could spark such emotion.

“That’s why, this summer, I voted to give hard-working

families like yours’ a break on their taxes and companies

like yours’ the ability to build the best facilities and

capitalize the best equipment right here in the U.S.”

This was potentially delicate ground: Blue-collar America

remained somewhat wary of automation and robotics and the

other high-tech trappings that had made many manufacturing

jobs obsolete. But Clark’s people had done their homework.

“I continue to push for not only free trade, but also fair

trade. And I’ve supported technology research and

development that can help workers work more productively

and more safely. We buy your services, not your souls.”

Another explosion of applause. It was a guaranteed

CNN/FOX/MSNBC byte, one that identified Clark as a

compassionate conservative deeply concerned about labor

issues.

“I only regret that some in the Senate do not share my

vision,” Clark lamented. “My attempts at returning more of

your tax dollars to your pockets were torpedoed on the

floor, and my opponents have tried to frighten good people

with wild speculation and innuendo about trade and the

economy. I’m here to ask you to allow me another six years

to persuade my colleagues that government is indeed for the

people, not for the chosen few on Capitol Hill. Thank you!”

Clark greeted the thundering applause with a one-handed

wave. Early in his second campaign, one of the political

wonks noted the two-handed salute he’d cultivated as a

state representative stirred echoes of Nixon.

“Sen. Farriman,” the plant foreman finally announced, voice

cracking over the popular adulation. “Sen. Farriman, we’d

like to thank you for taking the time to speak with us

today, and we’d like you to see some of the state-of-the-

art technology you helped make possible through the

American Investment and Development Act. This robotic

assembly system has helped boost productivity an estimated

12 percent over the last six months alone, while

significantly reducing workplace injuries.”

The huge, articulated monstrosity that towered above Sen.

Farriman came to life as if on cue — one robotic arm

seemed to wave to the crowd. Clark jumped, and joined with

the media and laborers in nervous laughter. The foreman

glanced sharply at a lab-coated man at a computer console a

few yards away. The operator shrugged, a surprised look on

his face, and the foreman pasted his grin back on.

“Without the tax incentives the AID bill provided, Avalon

might have been forced to downsize as part of its retooling

program,” he continued. Both robotic arms rose and fell, as

if performing The Wave, and the crowd cracked up.

“Hey, I thought this was my show,” Clark ad-libbed as the

foreman and the operator exchanged confused looks.

As if in response, the arms mimed applause. Then they rose

like wings, freezing in mid-air.

“Senator,” the operator began, nervously eyeing the press

corps.

And the arms swooped in a downward arc. The assembled

network, affiliate, cable, and print media gasped as well,

in unison with the workers. Clark froze, paralyzed by

terror, as the two mechanical appendages closed in on him.

And stopping precisely 11 inches from his skull. A group

exclamation of relief broke through Clark’s shroud of

impending death, and he removed his hands from his face,

opened his eyes slowly, and tried not to look down at the

spreading dampness that would spur numerous digs on the

talk radio circuit…

**

When the judge ordered me to sever all ties with

cyberspace, I’d very seriously considered having him offed.

It was as if he’d condemned me to some rock in the middle

of the ocean, with neither decent human company nor

diversion.

My very ‘crime’ was testament of my devotion to the one

world where I was accepted and understood, and I could see

the smug satisfaction plastered on His Honor’s face as he

looked down at me and banished me to a life with the

Undocked. He’d done this in other cases, and the media had

applauded his “creative sentencing.” A creative man would

have recognized the grandness of what I’d managed to

accomplish, found a way to channel and apply my abilities.

Instead, I was dubbed some kind of sociopathic misfit, a

dangerous outcast, a threat to all the Undocked.

After analyzing the situation, my rage gave way to

rationalism. He was a federal judge, and his murder, even

by cleverly arranged accident, would simply draw too much

high-powered attention. I knew enough of the system he

perverted to recognize I’d be on the short list of

suspects. Hiring his death was equally impractical: I

didn’t hang in that company, and I doubted I could raise

the funds necessary to employ someone competent, loyal, and

honest.

So I tried living with the Undocked. But after a few weeks

of non-stop face-time, listening to droning, endless

dialogues of interminable detail and insipid emotion,

breathing in waves of dragon breath and microbes, I was

ready to off the rest of humanity – at least this race of

prohominid knuckle-draggers. I now understood some measure

of the fiery agony of those crackheads down in Southeast

who were cut off from their suppliers by poverty or the

law. Each evening was an eternity: TV was 125 channels of

contrived “reality” and cultural sludge; books were

cumbersome tools of a primitive society, spending pages to

convey what a few well-chosen emoticons could communicate

with significantly less energy and exploring the boring and

repulsive “psyche” of Undocked.

So I tried to cheat. But because of my past record, I

already was living on a short leash, and I found it

increasingly more difficult to slip the leash for a few

moments at an Internet café or for a chat at the Public

Library. Out among the Others, on public machines, I lacked

the tools to go where I needed, and chatting exposed this

way, with potentially dozens of eyes watching me, was

almost a form of reverse masturbation, without any of the

satisfaction. Not that I’d ever found sex to be such hot

shit, anyway. Now, hacking past a half-dozen firewalls and

taking down a bank or an agency, that was a multiple orgasm

smothered in Belgian chocolate.

In the end, I had considered offing myself. But then, I

started listening to the voices in my skull. Not voices,

precisely – it was like undecrypted code that had hummed

somewhere beneath my conscious thoughts since I had been 12

or 13. As I perfected my abilities, learned intuitively how

to troubleshoot and write my own code, the meandering

whisperings in my head began to make sense. But only in the

way isolated foreign phrases emerge from the unsubtitled

chatter in an arthouse movie. Bits of data familiar and

alien ebbed and flowed through my brain. But I couldn’t

defrag any of it, and I wondered from time to time if I

might not be just slightly insane.

My salvation came one late afternoon at the Starbucks in

Union Station. I’d scratched together enough for a latte

and was sitting a few tables away from some suit – probably

a federal peon or somebody with one of the D.C. law or

consulting firms. His back was to the wall, his Thinkpad

open close to the edge of the table, screen slightly

inclined. I watched him with growing hunger and frank envy.

And then the whispering began. Evil, depraved whispers. And

images – nightmarish images of innocence defiled and

innocents degraded. Like a Powerpoint from Hell, the images

flashed through my mind and I knocked by Grand Latte to the

floor. The guy glanced up from the Thinkpad, and his eyes

met mine. For a moment he froze, and I realized what I was

seeing, hearing. As a busboy hustled to my table with a

towel, time froze between us – I staring in shock at him,

the perv paralyzed in shame and dread and disbelief.

The busboy offered me a fresh latte, and the spell was

broken. The man in the corner slammed his laptop shut,

jammed it in his canvas case, and flung the bag over his

shoulder. His eyes were locked on me as he fled,

questioning, pleading. The images of violation and

defilement – some blurred, some grainy, some crystalline in

their sick clarity – faded off as he rushed into the

crowded mall beyond, and I slumped back in my seat.

I thought about giving chase, siccing Security or DCPD on

the perv. But what would I tell the cops? They couldn’t

very well search his hard drive, especially not on the say-

so of somebody like me.

Then it hit me, and all at once, everything made sense.

My almost supernatural grasp of code, my affinity for

programming and apps, the increasingly risky and alluring

hacking expeditions that had led to my exile.

I spent the rest of the day at the Starbucks honing my

craft, capturing megabytes of dry bureaucratese and

business-speak, awkward and badly punctuated professions of

love and anger, some really shitty fanfic and amateur

poetry (LOFL), and some diverse and occasionally

stimulating sexual perversions. This time, I was more low-

key, surfing from laptop to laptop as I sipped my cooling

coffee.

WHO R U?

I jumped, nearly upsetting my latte again. Unlike the

third-person data I’d scanned that afternoon, this was

direct, demanding, sexless and ageless but somehow human. I

glanced anxiously around for the source of the

transmission. It had come either from the Dell in front of

the fat guy who looked like Penn Gillette or the sticker-

plastered Apple wired to the young, heavily pierced woman

at the table beyond him. The coffee shop had gone wireless

a few months ago, like a lot of the more yuppified D.C.

joints, and I could see her portable was WI-FI’ed.

R U ONLINE?

Heart pounding, I thought, No? Are YOU online?, I asked,

mentally. Nada. Helloooo….?

The cybervoice faded off, leaving me with the pathetic

Buffy the Vampire slash the fat guy was composing and the

anime chat the perforated girl was now into. I scanned the

room for any other machines, and caught the curious eye of

the busboy, who’d been refilling the nutmeg at the

condiment bar. He glanced at the fat loser and the pierced

woman and then back at me, one half of his black unibrow

arched.

I shoved my chair back and grabbed my stuff. I could feel

his eyes on my back all the way to the street. But by the

time I reached my Metro stop, my heart had slowed down to

an excited roar as I contemplated my first move…

Office of Sen. Clark J. Farriman

Longworth Building, Capitol Hill

Washington, D.C.

9:23 a.m.

“How long do you believe this ‘plot’ has been underway,

Senator?” Special Agent Fox Mulder asked with a serious

expression meant to conceal his amusement.

Despite his expensively razor-cut hair and his expansively

telegenic public persona, Clark Farriman was far from a

stupid man. He intercepted the irony in Mulder’s voice, and

frowned at his legislative director, who was seated to his

right next to Mulder’s partner, the attractive redhead.

Farriman had nearly been dragged into a mess with an intern

the summer before, and he had scrupulously “ignored” the

female agent.

“I know it sounds kind of ludicrous, Agent,” the L.D.

shrugged with a consciously self-effacing grin. “But the

senator has had three near-fatal encounters on campaign

stops over the last month. And, to be frank, Sen. Matheson

told us you and Agent Scully sort of specialize in, well,

the ludicrous.”

Mulder smiled, wondering how he’d gotten back on Sen.

Matheson’s referral list after their last, rather terse

encounter. The legislator had been one of Mulder’s few

official patrons, spurring him to investigate the Truth

with the promise of unlimited federal resources, but Mulder

had distanced himself after an incident involving A.D.

Skinner had revealed Matheson’s complicity in some shadowy

doings he couldn’t condone.

“I wasn’t aware you and Sen. Matheson had such a healthy

rapport,” Mulder said, turning back to Farriman. “I thought

you two were going to come to blows last week on C-SPAN

over that health care amendment.”

Farriman replaced the Capitol Hill paperwork with which

he’d been fidgeting. “We may sit on opposite sides of the

aisle, and we may occasionally become zealous in pursuit of

our disparate ideologies, but the senator and I remain good

personal friends from our days together on the House

Intelligence Committee. He assured me that while your

methods are unconventional, you function in an objective

and unbiased manner.”

“Senator, I don’t care whether you’re a leftie, a rightie,

or a tightie whitey,” Mulder said. “I don’t know what Sen.

Matheson said about my love of conspiracies, but even for

me, this is reaching. An equipment malfunction at a plant

in Baltimore, a car crash in Bethesda, and a hotel fire in

Cincinnati. The agents you ‘requested’ investigated all

three incidents thoroughly, and could find no connection

between them.

“The Baltimore factory worker on the robotic arm was a

Persian Gulf veteran who’s campaigned for you your last

three races. Your driver in Bethesda tested negative for

alcohol or criminal connections, and a forensics crew ruled

your Lexus had had a simple mechanical failure. As for the

hotel fire, well, the Des Moines arson unit’s still

investigating. But offhand, I’d say you’ve just had a

string of bad luck. Unless you have some specific idea who

might want to harm you.”

“Here’s a start,” the L.D. said, pulling a thick folder

from the corner of Farriman’s desk. “These are more than 50

threats the senator has received since before the Baltimore

incident. And they’re just the serious ones. The whacko

environmentalists who don’t care for the senator’s stance

on clear-cutting. The whacko supremacists who were pissed

off by Farriman’s support for a black female Cabinet

secretary. Radical liberals who think he’s Hitler. Radical

neo-conservatives who think he’s Castro. Iraqi and Qumari

nationals who think he’s the Great Satan. Atheists who feel

he’s playing God with the Constitution. Folks all the way

from rural Arkansas and Harlem to Idaho and Brooklyn.”

“You must’ve taken the Carnegie course,” Mulder marveled.

Farriman shrugged, it seemed to Mulder with a trace of

pride. “I stand on my values, even if those around me are

falling right and left, and I don’t back the party line if

it goes off track. I’m hard on criminals and terrorists,

both foreign and domestic. And I don’t care if they blow up

a logging crew or bomb an abortion clinic, regardless of my

personal or legislative feelings toward abortion.”

Mulder held up a hand. “Whoa, Senator – this isn’t New

Hampshire.”

“Sorry,” Farriman smiled sheepishly. “Force of habit these

days. Look, who would’ve predicted Al Quaeda could’ve

brought down the Twin Towers with a couple of airliners or

that crazie a few years ago could almost have killed a few

hundred people with a shoe bomb? I remember working out of

a hotel room downtown after 9-11, while they swept the Hill

for anthrax. We live in insane times, and the more insane

they become, the more insanely brilliant these crazies

become. I was told you’re open to any possibility, Agent

Mulder, no matter how strange. I’m asking you, personally,

if you’ll just look into this possibility.”

“Assistant Director Skinner already authorized us to fly to

Cincinnati,” Agent Scully informed him, speaking for the

first time since the introductions in the senator’s

reception area. Mulder glanced over at her; Scully stared

straight ahead.

“Excellent,” Farriman said, planting his hands on his

blotter and looking to the L.D. His aide rose, signaling

the agents to do likewise.

“Are we independently wealthy, Mulder?” Scully asked as

they reached the Longworth steps. It was a warm spring day,

and the scent of cherry blossoms wafted over the bustle of

laws being made, futures being forged, and staffers

hustling coffee and legislation. “Since when are you so

picky about the cases we accept. Note my use of pronouns.

You don’t like Farriman’s politics?”

clip_image003

Mulder glanced across the street at the Capitol Dome. “Ah,

he’s no different than any of the rest of them – just a

different flavor. Snaps his fingers, and there we are.”

“Mulder, I know you have a basic issue with authority, but

you’re not usually so petulant about it. I didn’t hear the

man snapping too many fingers in there. And, I might remind

you, if someone somehow is attempting to harm a U.S.

senator, that does fall within our purview.”

“C’mon, Scully; you read the file. The security for each of

Farriman’s campaign stops has been airtight. I wouldn’t be

surprised if this wasn’t some kind of media ploy. You saw

that stack of hate mail Farriman’s lackey had – maybe the

good senator’s developing a paranoid streak.”

Scully snorted as she dodged a fast-moving lobbyist. “And

you would be the authority in that area, wouldn’t you?” She

held up a hand. “Sorry. Let’s put it this way: For once,

I’m willing to go along with one of these longshot wild

goose chases. You have me in a vulnerable position – take

advantage of my moment of weakness.”

“You put it that way,” Mulder replied dryly, “you in the

mood for a long, very Atkins-friendly lunch?”

“Now, that’s the Mulder I know. And, by the way, in your

dreams.”

Arson Investigation Unit, Cincinnati Fire Department

Cincinnati, Ohio

8:12 p.m.

“Who decorated your office?” Mulder asked Lt. Yancy

Cleland, glancing at the blankened knick-knacks, toys, and

unrecognizable lumps that lined the shelves and wall.

“Martha Sterno?”

“Have to remember that one,” the stocky black arson

investigator murmured in a way that assured Mulder it would

be thoroughly and gratefully forgotten by the end of shift.

“Few little accessories I’ve collected over the years.

Reminds me and maybe some of the rookies what we’re up

against on a daily basis, what it can do. Maybe it helps me

connect with the folks who owned these things, remember

whose asses we’re protecting.” Cleland sank into his

antiquated office chair, which protested loudly. “Now,

whose ass are you two looking out for today?”

Scully replaced a scorched, deformed doll she’d been

inspecting. “Sen. Farriman is concerned there may have been

some possibility of foul play in the fire at the Omni Queen

City.”

Cleland picked up a mug with the common post-911 acronym

F.D.N.Y stenciled across its glazed surface. He peered at

the cold black liquid inside it, and shoved it away. “You

wasted a trip, Agents. You can tell your boy none of the

tree-huggers tried to barbecue his ass.”

Mulder perked. “You found the source of the fire.”

“Electrical,” Cleland grunted. “Well, electronic, I suppose

I oughtta say.” He opened a drawer, withdrew a manila

folder, and extended it to Mulder.

The agent examined a black-and-white closeup of a flat,

charred box that had begun to melt and run at the edges.

The casing had warped from the heat, and Mulder instantly

recognized the motherboard.

“This the senator’s PC?” he asked. Cleland nodded. “What

was it – a short or something?”

“Our guess. Though…”

“Yes?” Scully prompted.

“Just kinda curious is all,” the investigator said. “Look

at that other shot – the one of the hotel desk.”

Mulder squinted at the stark department photo of the

blackened desk and the damaged computer on it. The wall

beside the desk had been licked by flames, but a nearby

plug-in appeared untouched.

“It wasn’t even plugged in?” he challenged.

“Found the adapter cord in the senator’s computer bag, in

the suite’s foyer. This ain’t exactly my area of expertise,

but I’m thinking maybe the battery might’ve leaked, caused

some kind of electrochemical reaction or something.

Checking with some of the cybergeeks down at the CPD lab.”

Mulder lined up the photos. “We get copies of these,

please? I know a few cybergeeks of my own. By the way, if

this was deliberate, who would you look at?”

Cleland shrugged. “Man’s a congressman — suspect we might

have a few candidates, pardon the pun. Myself, I don’t care

for the man’s views on affirmative action, but he did get

us a few million more in fire grant money. Well, him and a

few dozen others, I guess, causa the 911. I don’t know,

this’d be such a freaky way of torching the place, but

given the security around that room, I would say inside

job. But you want my opinion, I’d say have a bowl of chili,

take a riverboat tour, and take a morning jet home. Less

you can prove Bill Gates had a hard-on for your senator.”

Avalon Hydro-Components

Baltimore, Md.

1:08 a.m.

“You guys are barkin’ up the wrong tree,” Jack Kreevich

said loudly, striding purposefully between two lines of

workers. “Hey, get that headgear on, FBI – your girlfriends

at OSHA’d have our asses for breakfast.”

“That’d be an all-you-can-eat,” Mulder murmured to Scully

as the troll-like shop foreman barked a hello to some

laborers. He wedged the hardhat onto his head. “Scully,

you’re going to have a case of hat hair Paul Michel

couldn’t repair.”

His partner said something, but it was drowned out by the

clamor of hydraulic wrenches and welding equipment, and

Mulder was forced to read her lips.

“Same to you,” he responded.

“Here she is,” Kreevich announced, halting before a large

computer monitor and keyboard dwarfed by the mechanism next

to it. The “robot” arms looked like they’d been ripped from

the shoulder sockets of some alien monstrosity, with cables

and tubes replacing the tendons and ligaments. “Totally

computerized.” Kreevich tapped a few buttons, and the

robotic arms deftly swooped, grasped an engine assembly on

the belt below, and turned it 180 degrees. “Every safeguard

some pencil-necked engineer at the home office could dream

up.”

“So what do you think happened with Sen. Farriman? Computer

malfunction? Pilot error.”

“No, sir.” Kreevich’s voice was tense and firm. “Albert –

Albert Weller – could operate this thing in his sleep.

Always sober; always on his game. He’d’ve never let

anything like what happened that day happen. Hell, this is

a union shop – Al’s the only one in the plant with a

Farriman bumper sticker on his pickup. I don’t give a red

rat’s ass what the safety guys say – it was some kind of

computer screwup. These things are the second coming until

something goes wrong.”

**

Albert Weller may have been intimidated by the two FBI

agents across the table, but he didn’t let it dampen his

appetite. The sallow, rail-thin man put away a bag of

Fritos and a BLT while Mulder was introducing himself, and

continued to silently chew his apple as the agent asked his

questions. The lunch crowd had thinned, and the few

stragglers in the Avalon cafeteria glanced with impassive

curiosity at the suits grilling their coworker.

“Never had a second’s trouble with the thing ’til that day,

and they haven’t been able to find anything either in the

mechanics or the brain – the computer,” Weller said, wiping

juice from his chin. “I ain’t had any computer training

outside the job, but I had to say, I’d guess it was all

that TV shit. CNN, FOX, everybody but the Food Network was

here to cover the senator’s visit. All those cameras,

microphones, and shit must’ve caused some kinda

electromagnetic interference, or some such shit.”

“Your foreman says you’re a big Farriman backer,” Mulder

inquired casually.

“Yeah, he’s a good man, don’t take shit from the terrorists

or the gays. Even more reason I wouldn’t try to rip him a

new one the hard way.”

Mulder grinned. “I dunno – love hath no fury like a

taxpayer scorned. Your boss said there’s been some talk of

moving your unit to Malaysia. Farriman’s not exactly a big

man with organized labor.”

Weller’s jaws stopped chewing. “Wait a minute, man. You

don’t think I’d try to waste the man? In front of God and

everybody like that? That’s freakin’ crazy!”

“You could say it was an accident,” Scully suggested,

picking up Mulder’s rhythm. “Like you are right now.”

“No, man, no, no,” the worker murmured, his fingers tearing

nervously through his thinning hair. He glanced nervously

at the two agents, and leaned forward. “Look, I don’t

expect you to believe me, but can I tell you something?”

Mulder looked to Scully, who shrugged.

“Reason I didn’t tell the cops before was cause I was

scared they’d think I was a whack job. But when the senator

was looking over the equipment up close, well, it was like

the computer took over. All of a sudden, it just started

chunking out commands, like it was thinking for itself. For

a minute or so there, it was like I couldn’t control the

damned thing.”

Scully gave Mulder a second, genuine look of puzzlement.

Mulder’s eyes lit with curiosity.

“Swear to God,” Weller pled. “I didn’t override the thing,

Farriman’d be Kibbles and Bits right now. Hell, I saved his

life.” He paused. “I need a lawyer or something?”

“Not right now,” Mulder smiled. “Just make yourself

available in case we need a few more answers.”

“Sure, man.” Weller frantically wiped crumbs and an apple

seed from his mustache, and scurried from the cafeteria.

Scully sat back, crossing her arms. “You think he’s telling

the truth?”

“It should be no surprise to you,” Mulder said, “but I do.”

“That the computer just commandeered the robot and tried to

kill Sen. Farriman? Mulder, I will agree it’s unlikely

Weller would’ve tried to murder the senator, but it makes

far more sense that he hit the wrong keys at the wrong

time, slipped, something like that. He was probably nervous

– he was 20 feet from his hero, and surrounded by cameras.

Or maybe there’s something to what he said, about all the

electronics in the vicinity somehow interfering with the

computer.”

Mulder shook his head. “It makes as much sense to say your

blow dryer could cause your toaster to go on the fritz. No,

I think any interference was internal.”

“Within the computer? Remote control? You mean someone else

took over the controls to kill Farriman?”

“The forensics people virtually took that computer apart.

It was a self-contained system – no network connection, no

modem, and the BPD found no software apps that would allow

for remote operation. And besides, Farriman’s toadie said

the plant tour was spontaneous – the senator was there to

talk to a group of workers , but he saw a good photo op

with the robot. Probably got it from Dave, you know, Kevin

Kline? No way anyone could have anticipated he’d be up

close and personal with Weller and his boy toy.”

Scully braced herself. “OK. Give.”

Mulder rose with a half-grin. “Not yet, not ’til we visit

Frohike and the gang. Fella’s got to have a few secrets.

Hey, look – he left a Rice Krispie Treat behind.”

“C’mon,” Scully breathed, grabbing his elbow. “And by the

way, I don’t happen to use a blow-dryer.”

Office of The Lone Gunman

Washington, D.C.

5:47 p.m.

“Mulder,” Byers beamed, swinging open the warehouse’s

steel-reinforced door.

“Scully,” Frohike exclaimed, his face materializing behind

his co-editor’s elbow.

“Do I have to spray Bitter Apple on my partner, Frohike?”

Mulder sighed, brushing past the gnomish conspiracy

theorist. “Any good dish lately, boys?”

“Source in the Democrat National Committee told us John

Kerry had been replaced with a robot,” Byers reported

earnestly, “but it was impossible to verify.”

“Closet neocon,” Frohike grumbled, moving into the

cluttered “newsroom”/data collection center. “Coffee,

agents? I think we still have some from yesterday.”

“Tuesday,” his suited compatriot corrected. “I can scrape

the skin off.”

“No, thank you,” Scully sighed. “Mulder, maybe now you can

remove the shroud from your mysterious theory?”

“Where’s Langly?” Mulder asked, peering into the murk of

the warehouse The Lone Gunmen called home. “I need a

cybergeek, and I need him now.”

“Cybergeek at your service, dude.” A long-haired,

spectacled refugee from a 1978 Metallica concert emerged

from beneath a wobbly workstation. “What’s up?”

Mulder extended the envelope from the Cincinnati PD. “Want

you should look at some photos and tell me how this laptop

might’ve spontaneously combusted.”

“Jeez, you think I’m the Amazing Maleeni or something?”

Langly moaned, leafing through photos of an incinerated

PC. “I can tell you a few ways this might’ve happened,

mainly with lighter fluid, but unless I can commune mano-a-

machine…”

“That’s only part of the equation. I’d also like to know

how somebody could tinker with the on-board computer of a

tightly guarded limo and sabotage the computer controls for

an assembly line robot.”

“We’re not the Pep Boys, so you’ll have to ask Mr.

Goodwrench about the limo. But it would be too tough to

fool with the hard drive on that robot, if you had the

opportunity.”

“They didn’t. The hard drive was inspected immediately

after the accident, and there was no modem or external

connection to the robot PC, so I can’t see how anybody

would’ve been able to establish a remote link. And nobody

knew the almost-victim was going to use the robot the day

it went kerflooey. Same with the limo – the rental company

suddenly had to switch the victim’s limo for one that had

just been driven a few hundred miles. Even if somebody

could’ve switched mother boards while they cleaned the car

up for the victim, we couldn’t find any evidence of

tampering. Lemme me hit you with a concept, and you tell me

what you think. Cyberkinesis.”

The Gunmen glanced at each other. “You just make that up?”

Frohike grunted.

Mulder smiled. “What’s the possibility a person could forge

a mental link with a computer hard drive? A telepathic

link.”

“Mulder,” Scully sighed.

“C’mon, Scully – we have ample documented evidence of human

telepathy and telekinesis. If brainwaves, thoughts, are

merely bioelectrical impulses, and psychic transference is

merely the transmission or reception of those signals, then

why is it impossible to believe we could psychically read

the electronic information stored in a computer?”

“Well, first of all,” Scully drawled, “I’m not aware of

such definitive documentation of psychic phenomena, but

even so, to make the leap that a human and a machine could

become psychically linked…”

Mulder nodded eagerly. “And think of the advances that have

been made in bringing human and cybernetic thought

processes into line. MS Word intuitively corrects

misspellings and suggests grammatical changes as you type.

True artificial intelligence is probably only a few years

away, if it’s not already here.”

“NASA’s looking at software that would enable computers to

understand words that haven’t yet been spoken,” Langly

noted. “The software would analyze nerve commands to the

throat – lots of times, a person thinks of phrases and

talks to himself so quietly they can’t be heard, but the

tongue and vocal cords nonetheless receive speech signals

from the brain. It’s the first step toward truly telepathic

computing, Scully.”

Scully crossed her arms in a familiar and unyielding

stance. “Those are technological changes based on training

computers to anticipate common individual thoughts or

activities or to read sub-vocal but nonetheless palpable

signals.”

Mulder threw an arm around her shoulder. “And you wonder

why I love this gal, boys.”

Scully’s elbow dug into his intercostals ribs. “Mulder,

would you like a non-telepathic signal that I assure you

will resonate throughout your inner being?”

The arm retreated.

“Why isn’t it possible, Agent Scully?” Byers murmured. “Man

has adapted – in some cases, mutated — to environmental,

climatic, and even social stimuli over the eons. Maybe, as

our civilization becomes more dependent on digital

information and less dependent on human interaction,

psychic capabilities are evolving into cyberspace. There’s

an entire agoraphobic generation out there that has trouble

interrelating without cell phones, emoticons, or a chat

room.”

“Sandra Bullock, The Net,” Frohike cited.

“Dude,” Langley snorted. “Angelina Jolie, Hackers. Cooler

flick, hotter chick.”

“Siskel, Ebert,” Mulder sighed. “Let me hit you with

something – it may be totally off the rails, but this whole

AI thing kind of brought it back to me. Esther Nairn?”

Langley’s pointed jaw fell, and Byers’ already somber brow

furrowed. “Hoochie mama,” Frohike simply murmured.

“Esther Nairn?” Scully mouthed. Then, awareness dawned in

her eyes. “Mulder, are you suggesting there’s any validity

to that cybernerd urban legend?”

“Hey,” the Lone Gunmen protested in unison. They had been

the recipient of the programmer extraordinaire’s purported

first contact from beyond the digital divide, more than six

years ago. Esther Nairn had been the companion of a

missing software pioneer, whose shell had been found

hardwired into a complex computer network in a heavily

fortified mobile home. He – it had tried to make Mulder a

similar human server, and in rescuing the agent, Esther had

misguidedly tried to become one with the World Wide Web.

The disincorporated soul of Esther Nairn was said by

hackers and crackers worldwide to be surfing the depths of

the Internet, occasionally making her presence known

through some fabulously complex virus or worm or a

mischievous e-mail left inside an “impenetrable” corporate

or government firewall.

“Present company excepted,” Scully relented. “Esther Nairn

died when that trailer blew, Mulder. She didn’t uplink, she

didn’t digitize, she didn’t metamorphasize – she just

vaporized. The Internet community has tried to keep her

alive in spirit – very likely wish-fulfillment by a group

of undersexed, hardwired geeks. Present company excepted.”

The Gunmen shrugged graciously.

“And besides, Mulder,” Scully added, “if you had

successfully linked to the world’s most extensive

informational entity, recreating yourself as a new life

form, why would you want to off some two-bit politician.”

“Was Esther particularly political, guys?” Mulder asked.

Byers shook her head. “Except for a hatred of digital

capitalism, she never seemed especially interested in

social causes. The only thing is…”

“Yeah?”

“Well, I assume you’re talking about these attacks on Clark

Farriman?” Byers shrugged humbly. “A computerized robot, a

luxury rental car I assume to be equipped with a

sophisticated on-board computer, and a hotel fire linked to

a laptop.”

Scully’s brow rose. “How did you know about the fire?

That’s still under investi-”

“The discussion boards have been all lit up about it,”

Langley provided. “What I heard, the hotel maid who

reported the fire leaked. I’m a love-and-peace guy myself,

but there are those in our little community who wouldn’t

mind seeing Farriman fricasseed.”

“Why?”

“The Internet Security and Decency Act of 2004,” Frohike

pronounced gravely. “Introduced in the Senate three weeks

ago. Harsher criminal penalties for hackers and spammers,

mandatory firewall and filter systems for all U.S. service

providers, an FCC-style agency to enforce new decency

standards. Sponsor, Clark Farriman.”

Mulder laughed, disbelievingly. “That’s ridiculous. There’s

no conceivable way to regulate an interstate, international

system with millions of cyberspace on- and off-ramps.”

“Like I said, I hold no animus toward the man, other than

that he’s a neocon clown. People want to protect the kids

from predators and crack down on the spammers – Farriman’s

just giving the folks what they want. The bill won’t go

anywhere. Even if she took an interest, Esther would

understand that.”

Scully nodded, and grabbed Mulder’s sleeve. “There. See?

The goth ghost lady didn’t do it. You’ll have to get your

hard drive off some other way.”

“Hoochie mama,” Frohike breathed.

Gessner Institute for Neuromuscular Research

Washington, D.C.

8:34 a.m.

The girl at the monitor studiously ignored Mulder and

Scully as Dr. Karin Lenz escorted them into the lab. She

could have been anywhere from 10 to 18 – disease had

twisted her arms and legs into uselessness, and her

expression beneath the elaborate headband was slack and

asymmetrical, beyond some flitting eye movement. The

Gessner Institute’s hallways and workrooms were populated

by victims of cerebral palsy, final stage MS, and a host of

nervous disorders that had locked them into a life of

immobility.

But the screen before the girl continued to fill with

characters, the cursor stopping occasionally to delete a

word or phrase. Mulder leaned in to get a look, and the

cursor froze.

“Heather’s rather shy about strangers reading her work,

Agent,” Dr. Lenz chided.

“Sorry,” Mulder murmured, backing away. The girl resumed

“writing,” and Lenz ushered her guests toward the far end

of the lab.

“We discovered Heather had an astounding aptitude for

writing after her parents brought her here,” the scientist

told Mulder and Scully, glancing proudly at the girl.

“We’ve been able to unlock that marvelous mind of hers, and

I have every hope we can integrate her into an advanced

classroom environment.”

“The headband,” Mulder said. “That’s a Cyberlink device?”

Lens looked up with a surprised smile. “Yes, Andrew Junker

over at Brain Actuated Technologies developed the Cyberlink

Interface, and we’ve added some refinements that enable

even severely impaired individuals like Heather to clearly

communicate hands-free via PC.

“The system combines eye and facial muscle movement and

brainwave bio-potentials to generate computer inputs – the

signals detected by plastic sensors in the headband are

sent to a Cyberlink interface box that contains a bio-

amplifier and signal processor, and the interface box

connects to the PC computer’s serial port. The forehead

signals then are amplified, digitized, and translated by a

decoding algorithm into multiple command signals, creating

an intuitive and, we’ve found, easily learned hands-free

control interface.”

“So the computer ‘reads’ Heather’s thoughts?” Scully

inquired.

“Essentially. The signals gather by the headband receiver

are translated into three basic types of control signals.

The first relates primarily to eye movements, and can be

mapped to left and right cursor motion or on/off switch

control, like a TV remote. The second reflects internal

brainwave and subtle facial muscle activity: Users can

control their environment through subtle tensing and

relaxing of various muscles including the forehead, eye,

and jaw muscles. Typically, that’s used for vertical or

horizontal cursor movement. The third type of control is

primarily facial muscle activity, and it’s typically used

for on/off control program commands, switch closures,

keyboard commands, and the functions of the left and right

mouse buttons.

“We’ve just landed a federal grant to expand our system to

accommodate a living environment equipped with a highly

sensitized infrared/radio monitoring system. Instead of

being encumbered with the headband and accompanying

apparatus, Heather could feed eye and muscular signals into

the monitoring system to turn on lights and appliances and

perform a variety of other functions. We’re aiming toward

helping people like Heather gain both professional and

personal self-sufficiency.”

“Is Heather one of your more advanced subjects, Dr. Lenz?”

Mulder asked.

The scientist crossed her arms and regarded the agent.

“Could I ask what your interest is here, Agent Mulder? You

weren’t very precise on the phone this morning.”

“Nothing to do with the institute, doctor,” he assured her.

“Just a little deep background on AI and assistive

technologies. We’re working a case where someone appears to

have established some kind of remote link with random

computer systems. Hands-free, modem-free, cross-platform.”

Lenz frowned. “Well, as you can see, as far as we’ve come

with Heather, we still have to rely on a battery of

interface devices and receiving systems. What you’re

describing, well, that’s decades beyond any development

I’ve heard of. It sounds more like some kind of military or

intelligence application.”

“God help us,” Mulder grinned grimly.

**

Deep down, The Judge was a relic of his generation – in

affect, the cyberspace equivalent of a playuh hater. He

viewed the Information Age as some kind of Decline and Fall

of the Global Empire and the Internet as the domain of the

perverted and the pierced.

“Someday, you will realize the tremendous favor I am doing

you,” he’d said before he’d undocked me. He always talked

that way, no contractions, like a white James Earl Jones

without the kickass modulation. “If I have an addict before

my bench, I make every attempt to sever him from his

dealer, even if that means prison. In your case, less

extreme but no less stringent measures appear necessary.”

I had accepted the “measures” without whining. The Judge

was immune to human emotion, and I was certain someone of

my unique technical abilities could find a backdoor out.

So far, I hadn’t. He was killing me slowly — I should have

had him offed before sentencing. However, with that out of

the question, I could at least keep him from undocking all

of us, which appeared to be his long-term goal.

But even that was proving more difficult than I had

imagined: Farriman was still among the living, and it was

only a matter of time before he went public. The accidents,

the fire had been lame-ass failures. I had to figure out

something bigger, more surefire. Maybe create a little

collateral damage if I had to. I actually kind of liked

that idea – it would confuse the cops, divert attention.

Everybody would assume it was a little post-9/11 havoc.

I’d undock both of them – Farriman permanently.

J. Edgar Hoover Building

Washington, D.C.

10:23 a.m.

“You interested in something mundane and non-

preternatural?” Scully inquired as Mulder returned from

Skinner’s office. “Granted, we’re unlikely to solve this

case using rational earthly logic, but–”

“Scully, please – your sarcasm sucks. What’ve you got?”

His partner spread a sheaf of photos on the desk before

her. “I got some photos from the Post and the Cincinnati

and Baltimore papers and vidcaps from Farriman’s near-fatal

campaign stops. If some kind of serial stalker is at work

here, he or she might well want to be around for the

fireworks. Aside from the senator’s staff, I’ve IDed two

people who were at the scenes of the limo and robot

accidents and at the hotel at the time of the laptop fire.

They’re both reporters – one for Farriman’s hometown paper,

the other for his state’s major daily.”

“What do we know about this hometown guy?”

“Squeaky. More interesting from the standpoint of your

crackpot theory was who was near the scenes of the crime.

As you’ve pointed out repeatedly, Sen. Farriman is a

controversially figure. There were dozens of protestors at

each of his appearances – anti-war and pro-choice groups in

Bethesda, anti-trade protestors outside the Baltimore

plant, and gay rights marchers in Ohio. Another group was

in attendance at all three locations. FREENET ring a bell?”

Mulder’s eyes lit up. “FREENET – the voice of Free

Cyberspace. They started up a few years back, about the

time Congress started pushing to tax Internet sales and

clamp down on cyberfraud. They’re the PETA of the Web – let

no man abridge the rights of hackers, crackers, spammers,

or porno slackers. The group’s mostly a bunch of media-

grabbers – the most violent they ever get is crashing The

Man’s hard drive.”

Scully leaned back. “Well, maybe they’ve graduated. Most of

the FREENET protestors at the Farriman stops were local

chapter people, except for Raymond Kelch.”

“Rabid Ray Kelch,” Mulder sighed. “The living

personification of the Simpsons’ Comic Book Guy, without

the sparkling personality. Larry Flynt’s a more lovable

press bunny.” He picked up a photo and smiled at Ray, a

350-pound, thirtysomething man with a sharp goatee and an

elevated right middle finger. “Suppose it does fit – Ray

was a reputed repeat cyberterrorist until he got caught six

months ago trying to break into Bill Gates’ home PC.

Federal judge slapped a boot on him.”

“Boot?”

Mulder flopped into a chair. “Best way to describe it. It’s

like one of those electronic anklets they put on paroled

molesters to keep tabs on them, except this one goes off

like a Brinks alarm if the offender gets within two feet of

a computer. Some enterprising company came out with them a

while back to capitalize on the growing cybercrime

industry. If our friend Ray even reached for a mouse, some

guy at a console sends the dogs after him.

“So Ray not only would be one of a handful of people with

the technical expertise to pull this off in a – yawn –

plausible way: He would have had to work out a way to get

into those computers without physical contact. Which,

according to the Dynamic Trio, is probably impossible.”

Scully blinked, once. “Probably. So, anyway, this Kelch

lives here in D.C. – runs FREENET out of his apartment.”

“Rabid Ray,” Mulder murmured. “To the Fedmobile, my

skeptical friend.”

Residence of Raymond Kelch/FREENET headquarters

Washington, D.C.

11:43 a.m.

“Shit,” Raymond Kelch grunted, beefy fingers wrapped around

his scabby second-floor door. “Thought you were the kung pao

chicken.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Mulder said cheerfully. “You

know, there is a Chinese restaurant downstairs.”

“They don’t deliver,” Kelch stated.

“They’re downstairs,” Scully repeated.

“Yeah? You said that,” the obese cyberspace radical

drawled.

“I’m Special Agent Scully, this is Special Agent Mulder,”

she breathed, badging Kelch.

“Ja, mein herr,” Kelch sighed. “Mi casa your casa, unless I

wanna get hauled downtown, right?” He moved aside, but his

huge belly, draped in a T-shirt depicting a boy urinating

on an IBM, still encompassed half the doorway. Scully edged

past, and Mulder gestured their host inside.

Kelch’s apartment was a clutter of pizza boxes, Chinese

food cartons, and boxes of pamphlets. Mulder pulled one

from a stack and read the blaring headline. “‘Fight the

police stat?’ Police STAT?”

“Yeah, our printer sucks,” Kelch said sourly, dropping onto

an abused couch. “I’d’ve done it myself, but you storm

troopers undocked me.”

“Undocked?” Scully inquired, standing over the shaggy

activist.

“Yeah, you want to undock us from our ideas, from our

planet, from your comfortable little society. We’ve got

something important to say, and it scares you.”

Mulder grinned. “If I remember right, what you had to say

was, ‘Gates blows,’ and you’d planned to send him three

million anonymous e-mails telling him so, along with the

muthah of all Trojan horses. Guess it doesn’t sound like

much now…”

“Yeah,” Kelch glowered. He held up his wrist, which bore a

snug, thick bracelet with a small LCD display. Mulder eyed

the UnBoot alarm device. “My point is, historical relics

like that judge who had me fitted for this charming piece

of jewelry, like those Moral Majority jokers up on the

Hill, are terrified of the potential of cyberspace, of a

universe no petty despot can control…”

“Speaking of which, Clark Farriman says hi.”

“Farriman? The Goebbels of the Great Undocked? That what

you’re here about? That accident at the widget plant down

in Maryland?”

“And the auto mishap in Bethesda and the Cincinnati hotel

fire,” Scully prompted.

Kelch emitted a single chortle, a sort of still-born belch

of derision. “God, you got a higher opinion of me than I

do, and that ain’t easy. You don’t really believe Farriman

is the target of some hacker hitsquad, do you? You don’t

think I hacked into an on-board automotive computer? LOFL,

man. My personal theory is that this is some kind of

cyberspace karma coming home to roost.”

“Maybe Esther Nairn?” Mulder ventured.

The hacker extraordinaire looked to Scully. “Your partner’s

hard drive needs a little defragging, I think.”

Scully didn’t comment. Mulder glared at her.

Kelch sighed. “Look, even if I had the expertise to do what

you said, I wouldn’t waste a nanosecond on Clark Farriman.

He’s just some right-wing jerkwad who’s trying to trade on

the public’s fear of technology to score a few votes.

Farriman’s no threat, man – Congress’ll never pass that

manifesto of his. The courts, man – that’s where the real

danger is. The guys in dresses who think they’re gods.

That’s who we have to worry about shutting us down.

Farriman’s just a trained monkey. You gotta watch out for

the judges, The Man.”

“All right,” Mulder nodded. “If not you, then who? Who’d

want to yank the senator’s ticket?”

The Che Guevera of Cyberspace nestled back in his cushion

and considered. “Maybe some hot, nubile little

congressional intern could suck the graphics card out of a

CPU. Maybe Farriman kissed off some sweet little poli-sci

android with a nice rack.”

“Really miss that computer, huh?” Mulder sympathized.

Rauxton Technologies

Georgetown

2 p.m.

“You can’t beat the boot,” Paul Trangh stated, shaking his

head vigorously. “You like that? We go consumer, that’s

what I’m going to suggest to Marketing. You can’t beat the

boot.”

“Wouldn’t it be the ‘You can’t beat the UnBoot?'” Scully

asked the engineer. Trangh and Mulder exchanged the

universal geek’s eyeroll. “So in your opinion, it would be

impossible for Mr. Kelch to have overridden this device?”

“Well, impossible,” Trangh breathed. “Nothing’s absolutely

foolproof, especially with a guy like Rabid Ray. But we

built this baby precisely for a guy like Ray, for the

criminal justice system. Once secured, you can’t open the

wrist piece without breaking it, and once you break it, it

sends an impulse to our system administrator, kinds like

how OnStar can tell if your engine’s going to blow. The

UnBoot has a satellite-controlled tracker that records the

user’s movements anywhere on the planet. Just in case

somebody was clever enough to slip the boot, the user’s

biometric signal is carried on the tracking impulse. Also

works nice as a medical alert signal, ‘case the user ODs on

one too many Big Macs.”

“So you’ve met Ray,” Mulder mused.

Trangh’s bespectacled eyes lit up. “He’s like my

underground hero, dude. Power to the System. Kind of hate

to think we’re responsible for clipping Ray’s wings.”

“How many of these things you guys got out there right

now?”

“Four,” Trangh responded automatically. He blinked. “Three,

I mean. Sorry, dude, must need a Dew. Yeah, three. See, we

got some Justice Department funds to try the UnBoot out in

Maryland, Virginia, and D.C. Let’s see – Ray’s got one, and

some kiddie porn collector in Arlington got another, part

of a plea bargain along with the other members of his e-

mail file-swapping buddies. And the third one got clapped

on some junior high kid in Southeast was using the school

lab computer to cook up some virus code.”

“Sounds like it’s catching on,” Scully said.

“Cybercrime’s ‘way up – you can look at the DOJ stats.

‘Sides, all three boots were ordered by the same judge.

Hardass with the D.C. district court, got a thing about

hackers and crackers. Messimore, yeah – Judge Wesley

Messimore. Guy’s single-handedly keeping our grant funding

alive. Dude, what’s wrong?”

It was Mulder’s turn to blink. He smiled at the tech.

“Sorry. I could do a Dew myself.”

**

“Now what?”

Mulder hung in the driver’s doorway as he pulled the

Rauxton Technologies visitor’s pass from the dashboard

inside. “The tone of mutual reverence and regard for the

exchange of ideas is inspiring, Scully. I mean, if you want

to drive, I’ll get the booster seat out of the trunk.”

His partner looked over the top of her shades. “You went

off into cyberspace when Trangh mentioned the judge. What

are you thinking?”

He slid in behind the wheel, and Scully bent into the car’s

interior. “OK. Rabid Ray doesn’t seem to have a real

problem with Clark Farriman, right? He’s just a mosquito, a

political pest. The courts are the real threat to a free

and open Internet.”

“Yeahh…”

“So what if all of this is aimed at Wesley Messimore

instead of the congressman?”

“Rather convoluted route, don’t you think? What’s the

connection?”

Mulder leaned back in his seat. “I’ve read some stuff about

this Messimore. He’s a real hardcore, right-wing Cotton

Mather type. If he’d been around at the Salem Witch Trials,

he’d have been considered one ba-a-a-ad muthah.”

“Shut your mouth,” Scully sighed, playing along with her

partner’s pop culture reference to expedite things.

“Well, ever since Justice Mason keeled over last fall, the

administration’s been looking for a new Supreme Court

justice the Senate would be willing to confirm without a

public circus or a filibuster. Messimore’s tough on

criminal justice issues and some First Amendment stuff, but

he tends to be hard on corporate defendants in pollution

cases. He’s an old-style Audubon Society guy, kind of

grassroots enviro the libs could get behind, maybe given

the right support on a few strategic bills.”

Scully frowned for a second, and then it dawned. “You think

Farriman’s thinking of nominating Messimore for that seat?

And, what, Ray is trying to kill Farriman before he can put

Cyberspace’s Most Wanted on the high court?”

Mulder beamed. “Now, that’s the Scully I enjoy playing IRS

auditor-and-white collar felon with.”

“I wonder if they make an UnBoot for horny UFO nuts,”

Scully grumbled. “One in a special size.”

“Youch,” Mulder gasped with horror and just a trace of

interest.

Wesley Messimore residence

Georgetown

4:53 p.m.

“Wow,” the ponytailed girl breathed, her large blue eyes

popping. “You guys are like really FBI agents? That is so

cool.”

Mulder smiled at the flawless young blonde poised in the

colonial-style doorway, and pocketed his ID. The

neighborhood was all sprawling, flawlessly green lawns

flourishing despite an ongoing drought, flawlessly white

columns and flawlessly constructed masonry, and flawless

avenues free of the gulches and crevasses of most of D.C.’s

streets. The agent had begun to feel he’d stepped into

Stepford, and the fresh-scrubbed debutante before him

seemed to confirm it. “Your dad home, uh…?”

“Oh, Syd, sir – Sydney,” she bubbled, beaming, eager to

please. Mulder beamed back

“Syd,” Scully inquired patiently, “is Judge Messimore home

right now.”

“Oh, Jeez,” the tall, athletically built girl laughed.

“Duh. Sure, come on in. DADDY?”

Mulder and Scully jumped, but followed her into the marble

foyer of Judge Wesley Messimore’s Tudor-style Georgetown

home. His daughter disappeared into a hallway beyond the

entry.

“Nice place,” Mulder finally commented, studying an old oil

of New England sailing ships. “Can’t wait to see the

embalming room.”

“Yeah,” Scully responded, drily. “Where’s the Bigmouth

Billy Bass?”

“Hey, it went with the décor.”

Syd reappeared, pulling a rubber band from her ponytail and

swishing her shiny hair free. “C’mon, guys – he’s in the

library. Y’know, I think maybe we’ve still got some

lemonade Sandra – the housekeeper – made this morning. You

want some? It’s really yummy.”

“Sounds yummy,” Mulder said.

“No thanks,” Scully answered for both of them.

“You go to Georgetown, Syd?” Mulder asked as they moved

down a wainscoted corridor lined with more vintage nautical

paintings. He was beginning to feel the need for some

Dramamine.

Syd stopped and turned, confusion lining her brow. Then the

perfect white teeth re-emerged, and she plucked at her T-

shirt. “Cause of this? Oh, no – I’m at Wellesington, it’s a

private college in Maryland. I, uh, was dating some guy

from G.U. last year, and, oh, you don’t want to hear it.”

Scully suppressed a sigh of relief. Syd stopped at the last

doorway, and the trio peeked inside to see a sturdy man

with salt-and-pepper hair and a long Roman nose setting a

thick volume on an antique end table next to his wine-

colored leather wing chair. He was dressed as though he’d

just closeted his judicial robe, in a white pinpoint oxford

shirt, gray flannel slacks, and oxblood oxfords. Judge

Messimore was surrounded by clusters of uniform volumes of

varying color – the accumulated statutes, codes, acts, and

codicils of a nation.

“Here they are, Daddy,” Syd announced, rubbing her neck

anxiously.

“Yes,” he answered drily, eyes growing narrow seemingly not

at the agents but at his daughter. Syd beamed expectantly.

“Sydney, why don’t you see what’s keeping dinner, eh? You

two, please, have a seat. Thank you, dear.”

The judge leaned back and steepled his fingers over his

stomach. “Special Agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. Your

father was William Scully, am I right, Agent? Impressive

man – met him at a White House function, Reagan White

House,” he added as if the point were somehow crucial. “I

understand you two are investigating some matter for Clark

Farriman.”

“A matter involving Sen. Farriman,” Mulder said with a calm

smile.

The judge nodded approvingly. “I stand corrected. “Clark

has been a good friend, and if there’s anything I can do to

assist him, well, I’m at your disposal. My guess is you

have reason to suspect Clark’s recent series of

‘accidents.'”

“You seem to know a lot, sir,” Scully murmured.

Judge Messimore shrugged. “I knew Jerry Ford very well –

well before his presidency — and even he couldn’t rack up

the record of mishaps Clark’s managed to compile in the

past month or so. No public servant who does his job

adequately escapes office without a solid list of enemies.

Clark and I frequently compare lists, and lately it’s been

heavy with computer-literate, societally inept individuals

who take exception to our efforts to curb the excesses of

the technology. I assume you’ve called on Raymond Kelch, or

is he next on the agenda?”

Now, Mulder nodded approvingly. “No wonder the senator

wants you as power-forward for O’Connor and Scalia.”

The judge’s expression froze, and he regarded the bemused

agent neutrally. “May I ask where you heard this piece of

intelligence? We’ve managed to keep the Post and CNN in the

dark about my pending nomination – and I do emphasize

‘pending.’ Either there’s a leak somewhere, or you’re both

very good at your jobs.”

“Your taxpayer dollars at work. Don’t worry – it was just

conjecture on our part. So, have you had any threats from

Mr. Kelch or any other cyberactivists?”

“Cyberterrorists, Agent Mulder,” Judge Messimore amended

pointedly. “Activism implies civil disobedience in the name

of some greater good. These people are thugs who’ve

conspired to exploit an essentially lawless system. The

Internet is one of the greatest achievements of our

military R&D effort, but in opening an international,

public on-ramp to the Information Superhighway, we’ve also

opened a Pandora’s box. Criminals, pornographers, and

conmen have found a lawless new territory in which to prey

on the innocent, and any disgruntled or disenfranchised

soul with a detailed knowledge of program code could bring

down a major corporation or a federal agency.

“Don’t get me wrong: We live in a land of protected speech

and expression, and I wouldn’t presume to change that. But

just as we’re prohibited from shouting fire in a crowded

theater or instigating a riot through our unfettered

political or religious expression, I believe we have to

draw a line somewhere. That’s what the courts are for, and

I’ll unapologetically bring the full force of the law down

on anyone who’d use technology to victimize society or

corrupt the young. New technology creates new law.”

“So, in other words, the answer is yes,” Mulder concluded.

The judge’s smile was steely, but the heat drained from his

face. “Yes. Mr. Kelch is too practiced to openly threaten

violence against a federal judge, but even after his

conviction, he’s continued to regale me with strident – and

badly phrased, I might add – invective against my ‘Gestapo

tactics.’ With the media coverage of my ‘creative

sentencing,’ I’ve received at least 50 more far less

genteel communications.

“Any mention Sen. Farriman, as well?” Scully inquired.

“None, as I recall, or I’d have notified Clark. My clerk

will give you complete access to every piece of

correspondence. In exchange, I’ll trust in your discretion

about my nomination. I don’t mind a little media heat, but

this is an election year, and during what we call the silly

season, timing is everything.”

“We’ll do our best,” Scully murmured, rising.

Judge Messimore didn’t appear pleased, but he nodded

curtly. “Very good. You remember your way out?”

“Your Honor, you mind if I use your, uh…” Mulder grinned

sheepishly.

“Certainly. Guest lavatory’s off the foyer.”

“Thanks.” The agent disappeared, and Scully coughed in a

pre-farewell gesture.

“Agent Scully,” the judge rumbled thoughtfully. “When your

partner called me, I asked around a bit about you two and

this obscure little branch of the Bureau you work out of. I

understand Agent Mulder is inclined toward taking the most

circuitous route to solving a case. Does he have some

rational reason to believe Clark and myself are the targets

of some mad ‘cyberactivist’?”

Scully stared at him for a second while formulating a

response. None came.

“Ah,” Messimore said, reaching for his book.

**

“Thanks for coming, guys!” Syd sang from an Adirondack

chair on the wide porch, as if the pair had delivered a

casserole. “Hope you solve your case!”

“Nancy Drew needs to kick it down a notch,” Scully

muttered, beaming a return greeting.

“Or perhaps someone could kick their dosage up a notch,”

Mulder suggested, waving to the judge’s daughter. “I

thought she was nice – kind of a sororitized Darryl

Hannah.”

Scully’s eyes rolled toward the cloudless sky. “Mulder, I

hope you’re not working up to some kind of kinky

roleplaying game. Law and Order’s on tonight.”

“Too bad, young lady, ’cause your mid-terms are right on

the edge between a D and an F. Seriously, though, Barbie

back there did give me an idea. On the case, that is.”

Scully stopped before the passenger door of their sedan.

“Mulder, if that girl ever had an idea of her own, I’d urge

her to hold onto it like grim death.”

She was interrupted by the trill of Mulder’s cell phone.

“Yeah,” her partner responded. “Sen. Farriman? Yeah, we can

talk. C’mon…No shit?” He looked up at Scully. “Wow, and

they’re sure? No shit? You got it right now? Scully and I

will be right over to take a look, OK? Thanks – owe you.”

Mulder folded the cell phone and slipped it back into his

pocket with a frown spreading across his face. He leaned

back against the car.

“What?” Scully demanded.

“It looks like our Sen. Farriman may be in some deep do-do.

Couple of the guys in Cybercrimes got a tip and paid a

routine visit to Capitol Hill. Farriman voluntarily

surrendered his private laptop and guess what they found?”

Scully leaned over the hood. “Mulder…”

“Roughly 500 megabytes of porn. Teen porn. Junior high,

high school stuff. Apparently, a female aide came in with a

file while the senator was out on a vote and saw a

particularly graphic sample.”

“My God,” Scully breathed, shaking her head. “Well, Mulder,

I guess our work here is done – the senator should be safe

in federal custody.”

Mulder nodded slowly. “I don’t know, Scully. We have good

circumstantial evidence of computer tampering in this case

– maybe remote tampering. Farriman might not be a lot of my

favorite things, but wouldn’t you like to know we got the

right guy?”

University of Maryland Imaging Lab

10:12 a.m.

“Extraordinary,” Chuck Burks murmured, eyes aglow with

scientific excitement. He turned from his PC. “Mulder, this

is sheer genius.”

Scully bent down and peered at the single window the

imaging specialist had opened in Photoshop. The girl in the

.jpg was pleasuring herself with an appliance the

sporadically devout Catholic had never before seen.

“Disgusting, appalling, yeah. Genius is one term I wouldn’t

have come up with.”

Chuck blushed. “No, Agent. Geez. No, I meant the quality of

the manipulation here.”

Mulder, who had began to fade during his friend’s discourse

on digital imaging, now perked. He jumped from his lab

stool. “They’re fakes.”

clip_image005

“Not in the standard sense,” the doughy scientist murmured,

zooming in until the nude teen degenerated into a mosaic of

multicolored pixels. “Every sample you brought me from the

senator’s hard drive had almost identical sharpness,

curves, and levels – uh, lightness, contrast, and the like.

That in itself was unusual enough, if these files were

supposed to be from a variety of sources. And the uh,

girls, in the hundred or so photos I examined, well, they

were strangely similar.”

“Probably a lot of them feature the same girls,” Scully

suggested sadly.

Burks shook his head. “They were different girls, but they

all shared many of the same facial features. One girl’s

slightly crooked nose pops up with another’s hairstyle and

a third girl’s triangular chin, and the chin turns up on 15

other girls. It’s like Mr. Potatohead – it’s like parts of

10 or 12 girls have been mixed or matched. But there aren’t

any artifacts – the mattes, mismatched light patterns, or

other digital blemishes you’d see if these photos had been

even professionally manipulated.”

Scully looked at Mulder, who shrugged. “What are you

telling us, Chuck?”

“That these images — what did you say, 500 megabytes of

them? – weren’t shot or scanned or downloaded from

anywhere. They were created.”

“Created?” Scully gasped. “That’s incredible.”

Burks nodded almost cheerfully, having gained his

audience’s attention. “And I don’t mean they were drawn,

colored, and scanned. I mean they were assembled, pixel by

pixel, with photo-like precision. You’d have to be an

expert to spot it. But I’d testify to it, if you need me

to.”

Scully glanced at the pornographic mosaic on Burks’

monitor. “We’ll need you to.”

**

As part of my sentence, the judge had ordered me into

counseling “to help develop sane and healthy outlets for

your pathological rage.” I almost preferred the UnBoot: The

court-ordered shrink was a condescending bitch who believed

she’d gained some handle on my psychosis from the moment my

ass hit her bomber leather couch. We’d sparred a few dozen

rounds over a half-dozen sessions before she threw in the

towel.

The only things of merit Dr. Welkin was able to contribute

to me were a few stress relief exercises, which I now

employed.

After the Dynamic Duo from the FBI showed up (LOFL), I’d

decided a more rational, subtle approach was needed with

“Clark.” I remembered the job the media had done on that

Illinois guy just because he’d suggested a few kinky moves

to his Star Trek babe wife. If I’ve learned anything about

the hypocrisy of public life, it’s that sex kills, at least

in politics. If I couldn’t off Farriman physically, I could

bury his career.

When CNN reported the porn on Clark’s hard drive was phony

and probably planted, I nearly shit a brick. I thought I’d

done an artful job, but somebody – maybe the FBI geek and

his redheaded girlfriend – had seen right through it. I’d

have to watch my ass from now on.

MULDER AND SCULLY.

E’s sexless, ageless voice had popped into my brain like a

telepathic IM pop-up. What?, I thought. You know them or

something?

THE GEEK AND HIS GIRLFRIEND. DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THEM.

At first, I was terrified I’d gone schizo or something, or

worse, that “God” had started talking to me like that Joan

of Arcadia nerd. But then I connected it up with my

recently acquired cyberskills – I’d made first contact with

some kind of artificial intelligence, maybe some

Supercomputer at the Pentagon or somebody’s mutant virus

that had grown an attitude.

They’ll never figure it out, I assured E. They’re a couple

of bureaucratic dweebs.

THEY KNOW.

Yeah, right.

THEY KNOW.

So what do I do, O Great AI?

SOMETHING BIG.

I already tried to waste the guy. What’s bigger than that?

CRASH THE SYSTEM.

Speak English, dude…whatever you are.

A knock at the door interrupted E’s reply. Come on, what do

you mean?, I demanded.

The knock turned into closed-fisted pounding. I sighed

loudly, and went to answer it.

Wesley Messimore residence

11:23 p.m.

“Clear case of self-defense,” Lt. Stewart Hedger grunted,

displaying a Ziploc evidence bag sagging under the weight

of a .38 revolver. “Homeowner went to investigate a

suspicious sound about the time Capitol Security received

an alert the house security system had been breached. The

deceased came at him with a hunting knife, and Judge

Messimore dropped him with a single shot. Clean shoot, far

as I’m concerned.”

“Charlton Heston’d be proud,” Mulder mumbled, regarding the

sweat-suited corpse crumpled against the upstairs hallway

wall. “You got an ID yet?”

“Got a couple guys out scouting any suspicious vehicles in

a five- or six-block radius. Nothing on the block here –

would’ve stood out like a sore thumb. Look, I called you

guys cause the judge said you’d been by today asking all

kinds of questions. You got anything can help me, I’d

appreciate it, but otherwise, you know where the door is.”

Scully kneeled beside the intruder’s body, prodding gently

at his sweats and examining his hands. “Lieutenant, have

you taken a close look at this man yet?”

“Leave that to the M.E.”

“Well, he doesn’t exactly fit the profile of your typical

burglar,” she murmured, turning the waistband of his

sweatpants inside out. “Designer jogging wear, and these

cross-trainers he’s wearing must cost at least $300. And

look at his hands – the only heavy work he’s ever done is

draft a quarterly statement. Your perp’s even had a high-

end manicure.”

“Stalker by Ralph Lauren,” Mulder suggested. “Why would a

guy like this go housebreaking in the middle of the night?

Not a thief, obviously – no bag, and that sweatsuit

wouldn’t hold much more than the judge’s weekend green

fees. Think he was targeting Messimore, Scully?”

“Whoa, whoa,” Hedger breathed exasperatedly. “We got

jurisdiction here, unless this guy turns out to be Jimmy

Hoffa. Why don’t you two cool your jets, and I’ll meet you

downstairs, maybe let you have a peek. That’s not an

invitation to tea, either, by the way.”

“Where’s the love, Scully?” Mulder posed, taking the stairs

two at a time.

Scully shrugged. “At the risk of encouraging your boyish

fervor, Messimore is a federal judge – you could have

pushed it. Why didn’t you?”

“All in good time.” Mulder halted near the doorway of the

Messimore living room, waving Scully back. The judge, deep

in discourse with a young detective, bore his pajamas and

robe like judicial trappings. Sydney Messimore, showcasing

a Dave Matthews T-shirt, boxers, and a cable-knit cardigan

sweater, was more rumpled and contemplative on the sofa

across from her father. Mulder quietly sidled over and

lowered himself onto the cushion beside her.

“Well, hey, Agent Muller, right?” Sydney brightened,

tugging distractedly at her right sweater sleeve. “Boy, I’m

glad you’re here. These cops are so grim, you know?”

“Harshed my mellow, that’s for sure. You OK?”

“God, it’s like some kind of bad TV movie. My dad wasting

some guy. Too weird. I mean, it was a burglar, but still…”

“I know,” Mulder assured her. “So you think this guy was a

prowler or something?”

Sydney glanced at her father, worrying her sweater cuff.

“Well, sure. I mean, I don’t know the guy and I’m sure the

judge – Dad, I mean — doesn’t.”

“You think maybe this guy could have been here to hurt your

dad?”

She frowned, then began to nod vigorously. “God, I bet

you’re right. Dad pisses people off all the time. I mean,

he’s sent a lot of people to jail and like that.”

Mulder looked toward Judge Messimore, who was staring at

the agent even as he continued to talk to the detective.

Mulder nodded, and the judge returned to the cop.

“Well, the important thing is you two are OK,” Mulder said,

smiling, pushing off the couch. “Oh, hey, you know what

time it is?”

Sydney’s eyes widened as she reached for her sweater cuff.

She scratched her wrist and grinned. “Sorry. There’s a

grandfather clock in the hall.”

“Cool enough.”

“And what, may I ask, was that all about?” inquired Scully,

leaning against the corridor wall.

“I’ll save that for pillow talk, later,” her partner

murmured. He perked as the front door opened and a uniform

materialized. Mulder approached the cop rapidly, peeking

into the living room to ensure the detective was still

occupied with Judge Messimore.

“You find that vehicle yet?” he demanded, flashing his FBI

ID. “Hedger’s getting antsy.”

The patrolman composed himself. “Two blocks away – I told

the lab guys already. 2003 Lexus – not exactly your typical

lowlife ride. But we found a wallet tucked under the front

driver’s seat. Driver’s license photo matches the perp.”

Mulder arched an eyebrow, Scullylike. “And?”

“Oh, yeah,” the cop stammered. “Carl Phelan, D.C., Capitol

Hill address. Probably a townhouse, given the sweet ride.”

“Assume nothing, Mister,” Mulder scowled. “You gonna let

Hedger know all this by FAX, officer?”

“Oh, yeah.” The cop started to salute, caught himself, and

scurried past Scully and up the stairs.

Scully was shaking her head as she strode into the foyer.

“You’re a real bastard sometimes, you know.”

“Tell your friends, Babe. C’mon, gotta see a man about a

hard drive.”

Carl Phelan residence

Washington, D.C.

1:09 a.m.

“Sweet mother of Peewee Herman,” Langly gasped, shoving

back from the laptop with an expression of utter shock.

“This is some effed-up shit, Mulder.”

Mulder emerged from Carl Phelan’s bedroom, Scully from the

deceased’s kitchen, converging behind the Gunman’s bony

shoulders. Scully inhaled sharply. “Oh, my God,” she

whispered, fingering the cross around her neck.

Langly punched a key, and the .jpg vanished. “Dudes, there

are hundreds of these files on this cockroach’s drive.”

“Probably part of some kind of ring,” Mulder said. “We’ll

want to get this machine to Sex Crimes.”

Scully lowered herself into Phelan’s expensive recliner.

“But what’s the connection between a pedophile and the

Messimores? From the high-rent digs, I’m going to assume

Phelan never came before Messimore’s bench.”

Mulder turned from the laptop. “I don’t think it was the

judge Phelan was after.”

J. Edgar Hoover Building

Washington, D.C.

9:02 a.m.

FBI Special Agent Phil Creighton looked up from the Compaq

he’d confiscated from a suspected ID theft wizard as

“Spooky” Mulder peeked into the Computer Crimes’ analysis

lab. Ordinarily, he was somewhat wary of the oddball agent,

as if his eccentrically destructive manner or weird ideas

about aliens and the supernatural might be contagious.

But today, Creighton was feeling magnanimous. Mulder and

Scully had delivered a key linkage in a man-boy love ring

that extended from Washington to Portland, Ore. He loved

taking down short-eyes, molesters, and other child

exploiters, and, more than that, getting Bureau accolades

and maybe a leg up for doing it.

“Hey, Fox, thanks again for the lead,” Creighton said with

false camraderie, swiveling around to greet the ghost-

chasing geek. “The Phelan guy’s gonna lead us to a whole

nest of scumbags. It’s amazing how safe these guys think

they are on a laptop.”

Mulder smiled. “Probably didn’t count on getting blown away

by a homeowner.”

“Yeah,” Creighton chuckled, turning quickly back to the

monitor. “Some big-time law-and-order judge or something

with an NRA card, right? Dirty Harry in a robe.”

“Aw, c’mon, Phil. You remember Judge Messimore, don’t you?

It’s only been six months or so.”

“Messimore…”

“You know,” Mulder prodded, holding up a manila folder.

“You investigated a case at his daughter’s school,

Wellesington. Somebody erased the college’s student records

for the previous five years, sent a worm through the staff

mail system that scorched every faculty member’s home PC,

and broadcast the Pam and Tommy Lee video on the school’s

website. My understanding is you and your partner even

interviewed Judge Messimore.”

Creighton placed his palms on his desk to either side of

the confiscated keyboard. “Oh, yeah. Case went nowhere.

Some of these hackers are like phantoms, you know?”

“You spent three days on the case, and then suddenly tossed

it into the unsolved file. Why? Because Messimore asked you

to?”

Creighton didn’t move.

“Let me help you here, Phil,” Mulder continued, opening the

file. “Sydney Messimore was a computer prodigy at age 13 –

won a national science prize for some standardized student

testing software she developed. High school Computer Club

president and webpage developer, 4.0 GPA, until she started

hanging with the wrong crowd. After she was suspended for

drinking and assault at a mixer, the high school’s system

crashed.

“Syd managed to squirm out of at least two DUIs and a pot

charge during her first year at Yale, before she was

expelled. At Wellesington, she’s proved a brilliant student

with a bad temper. Who’d she piss off at the school, Phil?”

Creighton sighed, and turned, palms out in a plea for

forbearance. “Look, Mulder. The judge, he’s had his hands

full with the girl, and he’s one of the good guys. We can

always count on him to work with us, come through with a

warrant when we need one. You know how it is with some of

these pussy ACLU judges, always more concerned about the

rights of hackers and molesters than their victims.”

“So you fixed things for him.”

“Wasn’t like that, Mulder, Fox. I told him he had to sit on

the girl, get her into counseling, away from the

temptation. He said he knew a way to control her.”

Mulder nodded with satisfaction.

“So,” Creighton started awkwardly. “You gonna squeal? I was

just cutting the guy and his kid a break. She seemed like a

basically good kid.”

“Oh, yeah,” Mulder said. “Reese Witherspoon Meets

Frankenstein.”

Creighton sighed. “All right, so maybe I was watching my

ass. You think I’m gonna tangle with some high-powered

judge and his buddy, the senator…”

“Senator,” Mulder said, his blood dropping a few degrees.

**

“A Senate intern?” Scully squeaked, nearly upending her

office chair. “Clark Farriman’s intern, yet? And I didn’t

think this could get any worse.”

Mulder leaned on a file cabinet stuffed with EBEs,

lycanthropes, and poltergeists. “What the good judge failed

to mention was that Clark Farriman is Sydney’s godfather,

and that she’s been working in his office part-time for

about a year. She helps out with campaign PR, and I’m

guessing with school out, she’s been on the road with the

senator’s entourage. I’ll call Farriman’s L.D., check it

out.”

“But why, Mulder? Why sabotage her father’s nomination? Why

try to kill Farriman? And what’s the connection with

Phelan?”

“Taking your questions in order, I’m guessing her

motivation for screwing over dear old Dad is mired in

adolescent complexities,” Mulder suggested, slipping on his

profiler’s cap. “Just the judge and Sydney — the mother

died of brain cancer when Syd was five – and the judge is a

very busy and, if I may observe, frosty sumbitch. All of

her acting out in school, with her friends? I wouldn’t be

surprised if it were a bid for Daddy’s attention.

“Then, Daddy announces he’s up for Supreme Court, or worse

yet, Sydney finds out through one of Farriman’s staffers.

Suddenly, her whole life, her father’s life, are about to

irrevocably change. Then add in the Oedipal love-hate

element – Judge Messimore’s an avowed enemy of the

Internet; his daughter’s become an accomplished hacker. The

one’s fed off the other probably for years. And that

probably gives her a motive to target Farriman, as well.

When she failed three times, Syd realized she could more

effectively take out her father’s partner in cyberspace

censorship and benefactor by killing his political career.”

Scully inhaled sharply. “Farriman’s computer. It was

printed. If Sydney was in the office that day, we might be

able to prove…”

“That she tampered with it, Scully?” Mulder shook his head.

“My guess is we won’t find any tell-tale prints, that she

either never went into Farriman’s office or called in sick

the day the porno popped up.”

“Are you still sticking to this cyber-telepathy theory? You

said she was a computer prodigy…”

“I don’t think Sydney could even have gotten near the

senator’s laptop. You notice anything strange about our

little judicial princess last night or when we first met

her?”

“The teeth were a little too straight,” Scully mumbled.

“And I’ll bet she had those boobs-”

“Scully,” Mulder admonished. “It’s the middle of summer – a

particularly hot summer even by Washington standards – and

she dresses like a frumpy housewife. Sweatshirts around the

house on a blistering July day and cardigans for evening

wear with her pajamas.”

“So she has questionable fashion taste,” Scully shrugged.

Then she caught Mulder’s eye, and a gleam of realization

formed in hers’. “The way she tugged at her sleeve last

night…”

“You learn quickly, grasshopper,” Mulder murmured.

Office of Sen. Clark J. Farriman

Washington, D.C.

11:27 a.m.

Scully knew something was up as soon as she asked the

legislative director about Sydney.

“What about her?” the aide asked, smiling a bit too

brightly. He’d held up his 1 p.m. for the agent out of

gratitude for her role in clearing his boss of the teen

porn charges, but it had been clear to her her visit was no

cause for celebration.

When Scully didn’t speak, he chuckled unnecessarily. “I

mean, it’s not an uncommon practice on the Hill to offer a

helping hand to promising young people. In this case, the

senator thought he could also help a friend. Sydney

Messimore’s an exceptionally bright young woman, but her

father felt she could use some focus, some direction. Hell,

we’ve had her running around so much, we hardly notice

she’s around any more.”

Scully decided to remain silent.

“Look,” the L.D. said, leaning over his blotter. “Why don’t

you just tell me what you’re getting at?”

“Well, my partner and I have been curious about Ms.

Messimore’s presence at all three of the recent incidents

involving Sen. Farriman,” she finally murmured. “Is it

common practice for congressional interns to go on the

campaign trail? I thought she worked on legislative

issues.”

“Other work as assigned,” the aide explained coolly. “Clark

wanted the judge’s daughter to get as rounded an education

in the process as possible.”

Scully artfully arched an eyebrow, improvising. Hell, it

wasn’t as if she could be demoted any further than the X-

Files. “And then there’s the specificity of the accusations

our alleged computer hacker leveled at the senator. That he

had an unhealthy interest in under aged women. Why not

boys, children? It’s almost as if he or she was trying to

tell us something.”

The L.D.’s palms gripped the blotter. He hastily jumped up,

closed the door onto the senator’s staff work area, and

took the guest chair next to Scully’s. “What did she say?

Because I swear to you, it was only the once, and the

senator promised it would never happen again.”

Jackpot, Scully thought glumly.

**

“Hey, Syd!” Mulder called from his side of the Longworth

Building metal detectors.

Sydney Messimore looked up, juggling her armful of reports.

Mulder thought he saw frost form around the edges of her

abrupt grin, and her eyes quickly became vacant. “Mr.

Mulder! Wow. I mean Agent.”

“Hold up,” he directed, dumping his keys and coins into a

plastic bowl as he passed through the electronic gate.

Mulder repocketed his effects and joined the girl at the

elevator bank. “So, you holding up OK?”

“Ye-e-e-a-eah,” Sydney sighed uncertainly. “Sweet of you to

ask.”

“Well, that’s our motto at the FBI,” Mulder beamed.

“Sweetness and justice.”

Syd blinked, then grinned reprovingly. “You are sooo full

of shit, aren’t you. Gee, I wish I had time to grab a Coke

or something with you, but I gotta get these up to the

chairman.”

“What’ve you got there, anyway?” Mulder inquired, reaching

for the precariously balanced top folder. It slipped, and

Sydney dipped to save it. She came up with a faintly

irritated smile, but not before the agent caught a gleam of

jewelry.

“That’s an unusual piece,” Mulder remarked.

Sydney’s eyes widened.

“Of jewelry,” he added, hastily. “What is that, some kind

of tennis bracelet.”

The judge’s daughter had tugged her sleeve down, as she had

the night before, but now she raised it reluctantly. “Just

a gift,” she mumbled.

“No, I’ve seen one like that before. Hey, I remember. You

know a Ray Kelch?” If Mulder’s theory was correct, Syd

would worship Kelch like her peers probably worshipped

Ashton Kutcher.

Her face was by Mattel, locked in a plastic smile. “Gosh,

no.”

Mulder leaned in, eyes now serious. “It must be hell for

you. Better than a federal record, though, huh?”

Sydney clutched her reports as if she were strangling a kitten.

Her eyes sharpened into focus, and her candied lips

hardened into steel. “You know, they’ve got an Unboot chip

now – they can inject it wherever you want, and nobody

knows you’ve got it. When you’ve served your time, they

deactivate it and it eventually biodegrades. Harmless, and

impossible to get rid of.

“They offered the Judge the option — the chip or the

bracelet. They thought it might be less embarrassing for

him. And me. But no, he wanted me to wear this out in the

open, like some kind of badge of shame. Wanted me to see it

every morning when I got up, think about what I’d done.”

“That why you went after Farriman? To screw up your dad’s

shot at the bench? To get back at him for shackling you

with that thing?” Mulder paused. “Couldn’t have hurt that

Farriman took advantage of you. Or was it even more basic

than that? All this hacking, this acting out of yours’, it

was to get the judge’s attention, wasn’t it? Then, just as

you got it, he gets the nod for the Supreme Court

nomination. This is nothing more than a high-tech teenage

tantrum, isn’t it?”

It was the right button to push – Syd’s eyes turned to

fire, and she started to lash out at the agent. Then she

caught herself, glaring silently, jaw tight.

Mulder forged ahead. “The intruder in your home. He was an

Internet pedophile. Somehow, you got a peek inside his hard

drive, and he sensed it somehow. He came after you, but

fortunately, your dad and his .38 intervened.”

“He’s real big on gun rights,” Syd grunted. “You know you

sound seriously demented, don’t you?”

Mulder nodded in acknowledgement. “Tell a friend. You know,

I used to be a profiler with the FBI, used to chase some of

the most frighteningly intelligent, violent sociopaths

you’d ever dream of.”

“So you’re not scared of some little Yuppie chick, right?”

“No, you scare me plenty, Sydney. My point is, I never met

one of these geniuses who didn’t leave behind some trace,

some clue. A lot of times, I think they do it on purpose:

They need to prove how brilliant they are, to take credit.

I think you were just sloppy.”

Syd waited, forearms tensing.

“The teen porn they found on Congressman Farriman’s laptop,

the manufactured teen porn, well, our digital expert

figured out all the ‘models’ were essentially permutations

of five girls. Switch a nose here, transpose a mole there.

But it’s awfully difficult to paint a subject from

imagination. Our artist had to have drawn on memory. I got

to thinking, who would’ve been able to recreate these girls

in the, ah, clinical detail we found in those files. Who

would’ve had such prolonged exposure to these girls in

their natural state?”

“Put a lot of thought into this, didn’t you?” Syd leered,

accusingly.

“On a hunch, my partner, Agent Scully, located your

freshman yearbook and subpoenaed the records for your dorm

floor. Bingo, five perfect matches. The girls you shared a

shower with every day of your second semester.”

“You ever hear of diminished capacity, Agent Mulder?” she

asked angelically.

“Yeah, I know. I don’t have anything I could take to a

prosecutor, without winding up in a cushioned room.” Mulder

leaned forward. “But you’ve already slipped up, and it’s

only a matter of time ’til you drop some physical evidence.

Big brains and adolescent hormones – a dangerous

combination. And I’m willing to bet your dad might just

take me more seriously than the police would.”

Syd’s eyes narrowed to a rodential slit, her breathing

accelerating as she stared murderously at Mulder. He

jumped, along with everyone in the corridor, as the twin

metal detectors in the lobby suddenly began to drone

without provocation. A dozen cell phones trilled, sang, and

shrieked. Beeps and buzzes sounded from within a dozen

computer cases.

A swarm of guards descended on the lobby, barking orders

and ushering lawmakers, aides, lobbyists, and tourists away

from the elevator bank. Mulder stood transfixed, gawking at

the chaos erupting around him. Then he glanced at Syd

Messimore.

Who no longer was there.

It wasn’t until he was back behind the driver’s seat,

checking for Judge Messimore’s work phone, that he

discovered his PDA’s memory had been wiped clean.

J. Edgar Hoover Building

“So what’s our next move?” Skinner demanded. Mulder and

Scully’s story had silenced the assistant director, but

he’d long since quit wasting time trying to debunk Mulder’s

theories. “We’ve got nothing on the girl, and she knows it.

You think she’ll take another run at Farriman?”

Mulder shrugged. “Or her father. Her motive’s out of the

bag, so there isn’t much to gain from killing or

discrediting the congressman except personal revenge. She

may just back off now, hope things go away.”

“Or she could kick things up another notch,” Scully

murmured beside him. “Sydney Messimore’s a very angry girl

who’s been subjugated in two very different ways by two

male authority figures. She’s also smart and arrogant, and

doesn’t necessarily have the emotional maturity to act in

her own best interests.”

“Which also makes predicting her next move nearly

impossible,” Skinner moaned. “We could ask DCPD to put a

unit outside the judge’s house, maybe put a couple of guys

in Farriman’s office. But we can’t put a wealthy teenaged

girl with a 4.0 GPA and a judge for a father under

permanent surveillance without cause.”

Mulder chewed his bottom lip, tapping the arm of his chair.

Scully and Skinner waited.

“Well?” Scully finally asked.

He frowned. “Trying to remember if I had any of that mu shu

pork left in the fridge.”

Chambers of Judge Wesley Messimore

Federal Court of the District of Columbia

5 p.m.

“You’re both insane,” Judge Messimore concluded, his robes

underlining the hanging judge expression on his

distinguished countenance.

After a particularly frenzied day’s docket, he had allowed

the agents into his chambers on the assumption they had

fresh information on Carl Phelan and his attempted home

invasion. The judge then listened silently and neutrally as

Mulder outlined the steps and reasoning that had led him to

Sydney as a potential political assassin, Clark Farriman’s

ex-paramour/victim, and sociopathic cyberspace manipulator.

Scully took a breath. “I realize how far-fetched this must

sound, your honor. But at the least, your daughter is

somehow implicated in the attempts on Sen. Farriman and the

break-in at your home. And Agent Mulder and I have some

reason to believe your own life could be in danger.”

Messimore’s eyes darkened. “Agents, it hasn’t been easy

raising an intelligent and willful daughter alone — God

knows, I recognize my failures as a father. But what you’re

telling me is not only ludicrous — it’s monstrous.

“And to believe Clark Farriman would betray a friendship

that goes back 20 years just to, what, satisfy some mid-

life yearning? Well, I’m tempted to alert both his office

and your superiors about your defamatory allegations.”

“I saw it myself,” Mulder said, leaning forward. “I saw

what she can do.”

“You saw what?” Messimore laughed mirthlessly. He looked

up, irritated, as his door opened and his clerk, a

fiftysomething matron, popped in.

“The tuxedo’s here,” she said, ignoring Messimore’s

annoyance, Mulder, and Scully. “The car’s coming around at

6 on the dot.”

“Yes, yes,” the judge growled, and she slipped out the

door. He turned back to his guests. “I know the Director

well, and I intend to have a talk with him Monday. Now, I’d

suggest you be on your way.”

Mulder opened his mouth, but Scully shook her head, and the

pair rose reluctantly.

“Look,” Mulder said, turning at the judge’s elaborately

carved door. “Let me give you my number, in case anything

happens. Or give me your cell number.”

Messimore turned back to his desk. “I don’t have a cell

phone. I can’t. Now, good day.”

Fox Mulder/Dana Scully Apartment

6:47 p.m.

“Mulder,” Scully said. “You aren’t inhaling your pizza.”

She looked down at the table. “And, and you appear to have

eaten your salad. Look, we did our best. Syd’s not going to

make a move now that she knows we’re onto her.”

Mulder leaned back in his chair. “It’s a game, Scully.

She’s an intelligent girl who’s been exploited and

effectively muzzled. Now, she feels empowered for maybe the

first time in her life. You had to have seen her at the

Capitol today. Sydney made a public presentation of her

abilities – she was challenging me.”

“So, what do you think? Is she going to go after her

father or the senator?”

“I don’t-” Mulder stopped dead, and his chair tipped back

on all fours.

Scully followed his gaze to the muted TV in the living

room. And to Judge Messimore being surrounded by reporters

outside the federal court building. Mulder leapt from the

table and cranked up the volume.

“…disclosed today that Messimore has been on the

president’s short list to fill the retiring judge’s slot.

It’s expected Sen. Clark Farriman, a member of the

Judiciary Committee, may publicly endorse the Georgetown

jurist’s nomination at tonight’s fundraising banquet at the

Hayes Plaza ballroom. Meanwhile, Messimore was surprisingly

reticent about the potential post, and some Senate

Democrats questioned the judge’s conservative stance on

free speech issues and noted his serious cardiac episode

only three years ago…”

Mulder turned from the set, anxiety etched onto his face.

“Farriman and Messimore together in a public place. Of

course, Sydney would know about it. It’s too good, Scully –

she can’t pass it up.”

Scully frowned. “But if remote control attacks are her

M.O., how’s she going to pull this off in a public venue

like the Hayes. Remember that security detail we worked

there a few months ago? It’s a historic landmark, and all

the systems are outdated – no automated controls, no

computerized systems. Unless Sydney has a rocket launcher,

I can’t see how she could pull it off.”

Mulder stared at her.

“Mulder,” she sighed. His face remained impassive, and

Scully flopped the pizza box shut. “Guess I can dust off my

little black dress and holster ensemble.”

The Hayes Plaza

Washington, D.C.

8:01 p.m.

“If you’ve finished stuffing your face with pigs-in-a-

blanket, why don’t we say our adieus and blow this joint?”

Scully suggested, yanking again at the hem of the little

black dress. Across the banquet hall, she spotted Clark

Farriman’s L.D. studying her. Scully knew it wasn’t because

of the diminutive outfit.

Mulder scanned the tables loaded with peach melba and

Washington’s political and social elite. “I just feel like

we’re in the right place at the right time. Syd wants

visibility, and with both of her targets here at the same

time…”

clip_image007

“People,” Clark Farriman’s voice echoed across the lavish

space. “I don’t want to spoil this lovely evening with

political rhetoric and backslapping, but, well, that’s my

job.”

Polite tittering, none of the raucous caterwauling the

senator had encountered at Avalon Hydro-Components.

“First of all, I want to thank you all from the bottom of

my heart for supporting me in what I deem a campaign to

reshape America. We’ve lost jobs, we’ve lost global

prestige, and, worst, folks, we’ve lost the essential

American character. We sacrifice moral substance for

liberal tolerance. We compromise ethics for the

satisfaction of the moment. We pervert science and

technology to accommodate our personal comfort and

pleasure. Well, not on my watch, people. Not on my watch.

“But a strong legislative branch is only as effective as a

resolute executive branch. And as we sadly have come to

acknowledge, in today’s society, laws are only as effective

as the courts that enforce them. That’s part of why I come

here tonight, besides the money, of course. The White House

has given me the green light to announce tonight what I

believe many of you have been eagerly anticipating. Monday,

a great and good friend of the Farriman family and a

supporter of my campaign to reshape America, His Honor

Judge Wesley Messimore, will be placed into nomination to

fill the currently vacant seat on the nation’s high court.

And I will be standing at his side in the Senate to help

ensure the confirmation of this great American. Your

Honor?”

Three hundred chairs squeaked on marble as Washington’s

finest rose to applaud the judge. Messimore, a thoughtful

frown on his face, finally rose, crossed the banquet room

floor, and ascended the podium. Clark clapped him on the

shoulder; Messimore appeared to Mulder to flinch.

“Well, I’ll be–” Mulder murmured.

“Please,” Judge Messimore requested over the enthusiastic

ovation. “Sit down, please. Thank you.

“First of all, I’d like you all to know I’m heartened

deeply by the obvious vote of faith and confidence you all

have shown me. The Supreme Court is the final arbiter of

law in America. The buck stops at its bench, without

prejudice or partisanship. It has long been my dream to sit

with those scions of justice and democracy.

“But tonight, I hear a greater calling, one that resonates

with me as a father, as an interpreter of laws, as an

American deeply concerned about that essential American

character. Predation has become the dark theme of our

society. It exists on street corners and projects in

Southeast, in corporate boardrooms across this nation, and

even in the once-hallowed halls of government. And the most

insidious predation practiced at all economic and social

strata today is the corruption of the young.”

Clark Farriman lost his vivid smile, this time forgetting

to recapture it. The senator began to step forward, but his

eye caught the CNN camera positioned between the lead

tables.

“I recognize, perhaps belatedly, that I and my colleagues

are what stand between prey and predator. And so, with

regret, I must decline the president’s kind invitation. I’m

needed out here in the jungle. Ah, thank you.”

Messimore unceremoniously left the microphone without

acknowledging his old friend and started back for his

table. Before Clark could regroup, a few tables erupted in

wild applause. Others, taken unaware by Messimore’s

remarks, glanced nervously around, then leapt to their

feet. The judge returned to his seat amid an ovation that

persisted by Mulder’s count for two minutes.

“I will be damned,” Mulder breathed as the thunder died.

Scully, smiling, squeezed his arm. “Perhaps not. Looks like

you got through.”

That was when he heard it – a cacophonous symphony of

warblings, chimes, and electronic music. Several guests

hastily unholstered their whining cell phones, pagers, and

Blackberries. Others who obviously had set their appliances

on vibrate reached inside handbags and suit jackets.

“Mulder,” Scully whispered. “What’s going on?”

Her partner glanced anxiously around as more cell phones

came out. The room now sounded like a telemarketer’s loft

during peak activity. And, Mulder noticed, there seemed to

be no staunching the noise: People were punching buttons,

even banging phones against the tables.

“Oh, God,” Mulder gasped. “Scully, we have to get Messimore

out of here. Now!”

“What?”

“Remember, this afternoon, the judge said he couldn’t have

a cell phone. Not just that he didn’t want one or disdained

the technology, but that he couldn’t have one. Scully, who

can’t have a cell phone? The woman on the news said

Messimore had had a heart attack a few years ago.”

Scully frowned, then looked sharply up at her partner, who

was already moving toward Messimore. “But Mulder, the link

between pacemakers and cell phones is far from

established.”

“Yeah, but what if someone could concentrate digital cell

signals, maybe even amplify them? It could be like putting

Messimore inside an operating microwave.” Mulder elbowed

his way past alarmed diners to the judge, who was breathing

heavily, face ashen. “Your Honor, do you have a pacemaker?”

Messimore’s face contorted as he flexed his left hand. “Y-

yes.” His eyes widened in a dawning horror. “Did she…?

Sydney…?”

“C’mon, quickly,” Scully urged, seizing his arm.

Their exit went virtually unnoticed as the banquet guests

attacked their high-tech toys. Then, the chirps and warbles

and themes were overridden by an ear-numbing bell.

“The fire alarm!” Mulder shouted as a large woman tried to

scramble from her chair. Other chairs fell, and the agents

and Messimore were buffeted by shoulders, elbows, hips.

“She set it off somehow. Hey! Stop! It’s a false alarm!”

“They can’t hear you, Mulder!” Scully cried. She threw her

purse onto a table, drew out her Glock, and took aim at an

isolated corner of the ceiling.

An explosion rocked the room, and suddenly, time froze. The

panicked herd stopped dead in its tracks, and only the echo

of Scully’s weapon and dozens of cell phones could be

heard.

“FBI!” she shouted. “This man could die if we can’t get him

out of this room now! Everyone else, leave this room

through the fire exits in an orderly and calm fashion. Or,

I guarantee, I will not be responsible for the

consequences.”

The crowd, wide-eyed and chastened, parted like the Red

Sea, clearing a path for Mulder, Scully, and Messimore

before flowing in the opposite direction. Mulder tried to

call 911 on his own cell, but it was dead. When they

reached the lobby, well away from the banquet room, Scully

cleared the area while Mulder ordered the desk clerks to

summon assistance.

As they waited for an ambulance for the judge, who was

beginning to regain color, Mulder used the pay phone to put

out an APB for Syd Messimore.

“You really think they’ll find her?” Scully asked her

partner as the EMTs rolled the jurist off. “You said she

wanted to be caught.”

Mulder watched Messimore, broken and hanging onto what life

he might have left after the revelations of the evening.

“No, Scully. She wanted to be discovered.”

Mission, Ohio

Three days later

What the hell?, Sydney thought, rechecking the detailed e-

mailed directions E. had transmitted. The numbers on the

mailbox matched the note, but she was vaguely disappointed

by the battered silver trailer and its rusting chainlink

fence. A dozen scuffed baseballs and discolored Frisbees

littered the scabby grass inside the tall fence.

“What an effing dump,” Syd sneered. She had expected

something more sinister, more macabre from E. After she’d

looted everything the Judge had left loose around the

house, she’d cabbed it down to that rest home/hotel, done

her thing, and, according to instructions, hit 20 ATMs

within the greater D.C. metro area.

She’d been astonished to find her stringently regulated

checking account had been enriched to the tune of $300,000

(secreted in her knapsack, minus the $400 she’d spent on

the rental car E. had reserved for her under the name

Tetris Pacman. She’d switched off to a Greyhound in Albany,

after rinsing her hair to a totally gross walnut brown in

the bus station john.

She still hoped E. wasn’t a dyke or something, even though

Syd had sexually experimented a little at Wellesington.

After the experience with Clark, she wasn’t currently big

on relationships.

The Judge had survived, probably out of sheer evil, Syd

supposed. At least Clark was toast – the teen porn charge

was dismissed but not forgotten, and the press had taken a

hard look at him after Dad’s rejection speech and

discovered he’d screwed a couple of other female staffers.

As for Fox and his bitch, she was sure E.’s little plan had

bought her ample time for their next move. She glanced

around – a redneck down the block was under the hood of a

souped-up pickup, an old lady was walking a graying weiner

dog. Syd pulled out the bolt-cutters she’d purchased at the

local Ace, crept up to the gate and, with an effort that

had broken a nail.

The trailer door was unlocked, as E. had said. Syd pushed

in, and gasped/

It looked like the dumpster at Best Buy. Wires and cables

and big metal boxes whirring and clicking and flashing red

and green. It was frigid within the aluminum box – Syd’s

breath formed clouds before her face. She hugged herself

and peered through the darkness.

“Hey, E.!” Syd called, growing increasingly pissed. “Where

the F are you?”

She jumped as she heard the familiar Windows signature

theme. Then she spotted the monitor at the far end of the

trailer. Lines of text filled the DOS screen, and Syd

yawned as she edged through the Bill Gates yard sale toward

the machine.

The screen went blank.

“What the hell?” Syd repeated.

The message suddenly popped up on the screen. TOOK YOU LONG

ENOUGH.

“Oh, my God,” Syd laughed. “Hey, quit screwing around!”

WELCOME TO MY WORLD.

Syd looked around. Where was E.? This was like that stupid

old goody movie the Judge had made her watch as a kid, with

the scarecrow and the dweeb with the red shoes and the old

fart hiding behind the screen trying to freak everybody

out.

She felt something brush her calf, and jumped back.

Freaking rats, of course. “Hey, Martha Stewart, buy some

mousetraps,” Syd muttered.

I’VE ALREADY SNARED MY LITTLE PET.

“What the-” Syd got out before a hundred snaking wires

seized her, penetrating skin, muscle, nerves, and, as she

tried to scream, the soft spot at the base of her skull…

North Carolina State Police Post

Ketcham, N.C.

Four months later

“Found her catching some Zs at a roadside park on I-95,”

the North Carolina trooper drawled, a corner of his mouth

quirking most likely at the terminal stupidity and hubris

of civilians. “Had an APB out on the Chevy — GTA, after

she screwed the owner’s brains out at some hotsheets motel

near Fayetteville. District manager for some dollar store

chain, wife, three kids. Took his clothes and the car while

he was basking in the afterburn.”

“Afterglow,” Mulder murmured, peering through the two-way

glass at the lanky blonde seated serenely at one end of the

NCSP interview table. Sydney Messimore was smiling

seraphically, hands clasped before her — the model Sunday

school student. The angelic image was sullied, however, by

the flame-red midi tank top, the micro jersey skirt, and

the glitter of metal affixed to her right nostril, left

eyebrow, and navel. And the trained behaviorist and horndog

in Mulder tuned in on the glint of lascivious mischief in

the former Washington deb’s eye as she glanced at the

transparently opaque window.

“What the fella told me, I think ‘afterburn’s more

accurate,” the smokey murmured, a grin wriggling under his

State Police-mandated brush.

Sydney had cut quite a swath along the Eastern Seaboard in

the four months since her abortive assassination attempt.

She had managed somehow to evade police in five states, the

FBI, and Homeland Security, while financing her adventures

on the road with a series of computer piracies, cheap

scams, and post-coital pilferages similar to the one in

Fayetteville. In fact, Syd had made Heidi Fleiss seem like

a novitiate with The Benevolent Sisters of St. Mary’s,

although she appeared to display little discretion or

aesthetic judgment in her sexual exploits.

Almost as if… Mulder shook his head, banishing the

impossible hypothesis.

He wished Scully were along. But his partner was tied up in

the autopsies of five NSA agents discovered in a locked

armored car, riddled with each others’ bullets.

“Shoulda seen the backseat of the stolen Chevy,” the

trooper mused. “Two pizza boxes, three Hardees bags, and

enough Hershey wrappers to get her elected the governor of

Pennsylvania. Look at her — girl must have the metabolism

of a thoroughbred. Though from the reports, I can imagine

she burns off quite a few of them carbs, know what I mean?”

“Down, Trigger,” Mulder murmured, opening the door to the

interrogation room.

“Agent Mulder!” Sydney breathed ecstatically, as if she’d

encountered him outside the Gap during a post-Christmas

clearance orgy. “God, it’s like so great to see you.”

“As if,” Mulder grinned, dropping into the chair at the

opposite end of the scarred table. “Somebody’s been a very

naughty girl.”

Syd arched an eyebrow in a very unScullylike manner. “I

probably deserve a good spanking. Go ahead, Agent Mulder —

I brought the cuffs.” She held up her manacled wrists.

“What’d they think, 130-pound chick’s gonna pull a Hannibal

Lecter in the middle of a state police barracks?”

“You have shown an unusual level of sociopathic

resourcefulness,” Mulder noted.

“Yeow, speak English,” Syd gasped, eyes suddenly free of

guile.

The FBI agent leaned back, smiling. “You know, that little

electronic diversion of funds you pulled in Maryland

surprised even me. No one would ever have been able to

track that money back to you if we didn’t know you were

probably the only person in the world who could’ve pulled

it off. You got any idea how you came by these very special

abilities of yours?”

“Clean living?” she suggested, licking her lower lip.

Mulder slid a manila folder toward the girl. Syd caught it

with black-painted talons and flipped it open.

“Witthau–” the girl began. “Mom.”

Mulder leaned forward, curiously, but continued. “Felicia

Witthauer, your mother, was one of the nation’s top

computer researchers — helped refine the National

Supercomputer Project, was on the short list for the Nobel

science prize three years running. If she hadn’t died of

brain cancer a few years after you were born, the guys at

the Pentagon believe she would’ve found the key to true

artificial intelligence.

“The judge, your dad, said she spent nearly every waking

moment of her last few years in the computer lab,

constantly searching for the right algorithm, the right

code that would unlock the secrets. Felicia was surrounded

14 to 18 hours a day by supercomputers and electromagnetic

impulses — some of the doctors believe that’s what may

have killed her.”

Something flashed across Syd’s cerulean blue eyes. Or

someone, Mulder contemplated. Then the navel-pierced party

girl was back.

“Genetics versus environment, the eternal debate,” he

murmured. “What makes a Bush twin or a Kennedy cousin truly

tick – beautiful people and trust funds, or a chromosome

looking for trouble? But every once in a while, genetics

and environment come together. Adaptation and mutation. I

think you fall into the latter category, X-Girl. Your

mother was bombarded all day by intense electromagnetic

impulses, like living under a high-power line in an X-ray

machine. In her, it caused the cellular mutation we call

cancer. You were a developing fetus at the time, and I

think, somehow, your neurological impulses fell into rhythm

with the electromagnetic pulses around you. Your brain fell

into synch with the machines. You could represent the next

step in human evolution.”

“You’re more cut than Bill Nye the Science Guy, but you’re

also a little more boring,” Syd yawned.

“Sorry – I’m sure none of this is new information to you.

Tell me: You were never after Judge Messimore or Sen.

Farriman, were you? It was all about a little girl-on-girl

action, wasn’t it?”

For the first time, Mulder saw a familiar set of eyes

behind Syd’s glittering ultraviolet lids. She smiled

warily. “I’m not into the babes, Agent Mulder. Want me to

prove it?”

Mulder smiled back. “I don’t mean anything sexual, Esther.”

The smile widened into a predatory invitation. “Who?”

“It must have been like a voice in the wilderness out there

in cyberspace, when you picked up on Sydney’s vibe. Being

one with the cosmos, possessing all the secrets of the

human race, isn’t necessarily all it’s cracked up to be if

you can’t scarf the occasional Quarter Pounder or enjoy the

sweaty company of others every once in a while, is it? You

got tired of living in virtual Alcatraz, and you realized

Syd Messimore was your off-ramp on the Information

Superhighway. That’s the reason for the current Courtney

Lovefest.”

“You keep a souvenir from your last meth raid?” she

sneered.

“You’ve become intimately familiar with Internet predation

out there in the ether, Esther. Syd was a lonely, troubled

girl under her father’s thumb and under the influence of a

powerful older man. It probably wasn’t hard to gain her

confidence and trust. Then, all you had to do was use her

alienation from her father and her hatred for Farrimore to

push her into a corner where she’d have nowhere to escape.

Except you. You talked her into making her grand play, then

pulled the plug. You couldn’t physically snag her in your

web, so you made her come to you. To your ‘server,’ or

whatever you call it. You hardwired her – I remember my

own little close encounter with your ex – and uploaded

yourself into her memory. Overwrote her programming, as it

were. She is gone, isn’t she?”

“Sydney Messimore” hooked an arm over the back of her chair

and recrossed her legs in a Sharon Stone recreation. “Yeah,

I’m guessing meth. You honestly got the co-hones to take

this into court? That I tried to kill Clark by remote

control? That the body snatchers performed a mind meld on

me? You go, boy.”

Mulder sighed and pushed his chair back. “She was a

vulnerable, emotionally battered kid, Esther. You stalked,

used, and destroyed Syd Messimore like a pedophile in a

chatroom. Congratulations – you may represent the next step

in human evolution. The first true cyber-parasite.”

The girl across the table grasped the arms of her wooden

chair, eyes blazing. “She was a blank disk, a brainless

little slut who’d never accomplish anything greater than

servicing some buff Ivy League lawyer. Now, Syd Messimore

is in the upper 1 percentile of human intelligence, ‘Fox.'”

“And what do you plan to accomplish with that intelligence,

‘Syd’?” Mulder asked. “Teach the lifers in Cell Block B to

get their GEDs online? Hey, gotta run. Keep it real,

Esther. ‘Cause that’s all you’ve got now.”

He heard her screamed obscenities all the way to the

parking lot.

“So this is what they learn on the Internet?” Mulder

muttered, sliding his key into the ignition.

THE END

Glow

Title: Glow

Author: Girlie_girl7

Email: Girlie_girl74@yahoo.com

Rating: PG

Category: M&S, case file,

Spoilers: Detour, The Beginning

Archive: VS12 for two weeks then anywhere.

Disclaimer: Fox owns ’em.

Summary: Mulder and Scully are called in to help two other agents

but did they get more than they bargained for.

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~ Glow ~

Teaser:

“Mulder why are we headed to Oak Ridge, Tennessee. I know how

you like to surprise me but I would like to find out sometime

before we land.”

“Scully, all I can tell you is Skinner said two agents requested

us. He didn’t say which two, he just said get a flight out and

they would meet us at the airport.”

Scully sighed. “No case file?”

Mulder slowly shook his head. “He didn’t send one down.”

Scully looked straight ahead. “Hum, that is strange.”

Mulder shrugged. “Skinner is a strange man.”

Scully just stared at her partner.

Two hours later they touched down in Knoxville, Tennessee.

Scully gathered up the notebooks while Mulder retrieved the

luggage. They piled their gear near a chair and began to wait.

“How the hell are we supposed to know who we’re looking for?”

Scully asked with her arms crossed over her beige business suit.

“I suppose I could hold up a cardboard sign that reads, FBI.”

“I’m sure that would get you noticed.”

Mulder squinted his eyes then craned his neck. “I think, I see,

oh shit!”

Scully whipped her head around. “What is it?”

“Kinsley.”

“Agent Mulder, over here,” Special Agent Michael Kinsley motioned

to his two fellow agents.

“And Stonecypher,” Scully sighed.

Act I

“Agent Kinsley.” Mulder offered his hand. “And you know Agent

Scully,” Mulder said looking down at his partner.

“Of course,” Agent Kinsley said as Agent Stonecypher moved in to

shake hands with Mulder and Scully.

“So agent, want to let us in on what this is all about? AD

Skinner gave us no indication,” Mulder said as he picked up the

luggage while Scully gathered up the laptops.

“That’s because there is no case, well there was, but we solved

it.”

“Mike was brilliant, he pieced together a few facts and the next

thing you know we got our man.” Stonecypher beamed at her

partner as a self-assured grin covered his face.

“Congratulations Agent Kinsley,” Scully politely offered.

“So why call us?” Mulder asked with a touch of irritation in his

voice.

“Because you deal in freakazoid things.”

Scully glared at Agent Kinsley.

They walked through the terminal doors. “So Agent Kinsley,

what’s up?”

“Agent Mulder, one night Agent Stonecypher and myself were nosing

around one of the Rutherford and Stone plants.”

“They run several of the nuclear test reactors built here don’t

they?” Scully asked.

“That’s right, anyway, we were going through the personnel files

and such. We took a break and went down on the plant floor and

that’s where we saw it.”

“Agent would you like to get to the point.” Mulder sniped as he

dropped the luggage into the open trunk on Kinsley’s bureau

issued sedan.

Kinsley slammed the trunk lid shut. “In the car,” he said as his

eyes darted around the parking lot. “I don’t want others to

overhear.”

Mulder looked around the empty parking lot. “Agent, there is no

one else out here.”

Scully tugged at her partners sleeve as she opened the rear door

and slid in the car. Mulder calmed down, somewhat, and crawled

in the front seat with Kinsley. Once all four agents were seated

Agent Kinsley turned to face Mulder while Stonecypher moved

foreword in her seat.

“Agents,” Kinsley began, as he looked from Mulder to Scully, “I

saw a man.”

“It could have been a woman,” Stonecypher interrupted.

Kinsley rolled his eyes. “Okay, I saw a being, but it wasn’t a

person.”

“What was it?” Scully asked.

“It was some kind of ectoplasm man.”

Mulder stared at Kinsley. “Have you been watching Ghostbusters?”

“I’m serious, I saw this, this, thing.”

“I saw it too,” Stonecypher confirmed.

Kinsley pulled out of the parking lot and into the late afternoon

heat.

“Agent, you want to tell me exactly what you saw?” Mulder was

beginning to think that this was not such a good case to

investigate.

Kinsley’s eyes grew large and his voice dropped, “It looked like

walking lightning.”

“It did,” Stonecypher added with a nod of her head.

“What did it do?” Scully asked, now interested in what the other

agents saw.

Kinsley pulled into the late commuter traffic out of Knoxville

and headed for Oak Ridge. “It wasn’t doing anything. It stood

at the end of the room and watched us for a few minutes then

disappeared.”

Stonecypher jumped in at this point. “Then we saw it again! It

was walking around the pool of water that cooled the reactor.”

Kinsley was visibly nervous. “We saw it several nights in a row,

really freaked me out so I called AD Skinner and requested you

two.”

“Has anyone else seen it?” Mulder asked as Kinsley begun to pick

up some speed as the traffic thinned out.

Stonecypher looked at her partner. “We didn’t ask anyone.”

Mulder frowned. “Why not?”

Kinsley huffed at Mulder’s question. “They would have called us

nuts and laughed us out of here.”

“So you called us instead.” Scully bristled. “How ironic.”

“Well yeah, but you two are used to being laughed at.”

Scully cast a look at Kinsley that Mulder had been on the

receiving end of in the past, he almost felt sorry for the other

agent. “Did you think to check the security tapes, I’m sure they

have them.”

Mulder smiled back over his shoulder at his partner.

“No, we never, no,” was all Stonecypher managed to say.

“Then we need to look at those tapes,” Scully said.

Kinsley pulled into the Smoky View motel. The rooms had outside

entrances, were small but clean and had been recently renovated.

“This is the key to our room Agent Mulder.”

“Our room?” Mulder asked mildly irritated at Kinsley as he

removed the bags from the trunk.

“Yeah, you didn’t think you would be bunking in with Stonecypher

did you?” Kinsley laughed.

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Mulder slammed the trunk lid shut and glared at the other agent

as he took the offered key. “There had better be two beds in

that room or one of us will be sleeping in the car.”

Kinsley looked at Mulder and swallowed hard.

Scully walked into the room that she would be sharing with

Stonecypher and dumped her notebook on the nearest bed. Mulder

brought in her bags and sat them next to her notebook.

Kinsley walked in behind Mulder and clapped his hands together.

“Why don’t you two freshen up and then we’ll all go out for

dinner.”

“Oh yes, Mike has found this wonderful steakhouse just around the

corner,” Stonecypher said as she pulled her long, blonde hair up

and pinned it in a bun.

“Well, I’m game if Agent Scully is.” Mulder looked down at his

diminutive partner.

“Sounds good,” Scully lied.

“Then we’ll all meet,” Kinsley said looking down at his watch,

“say in twenty minutes at the car.” With that Mulder and Kinsley

headed for their own room.

Scully opened her bag and took out two pantsuits and hung them up

before taking her makeup bag into the bathroom. There was a soft

knock on the door. “Come in,” Scully said around a mouth full of

toothpaste.

“Agent Scully?” Agent Stonecypher walked in and leaned against

the sink.

“Yes, Agent Stonecypher,” Scully replied once she had rinsed out

her mouth.

“Agent, I just wanted you to know that we really did see

something out there. I’ll have to admit I was afraid.”

Scully sensed Stonecypher’s uneasiness. “Don’t worry, I’ve been

afraid lots of times. Fear is a normal human reaction.”

Stonecypher stared out into space. “It’s just that I’m an FBI

Agent, I’m not supposed to be afraid.”

Scully took Stonecypher by the arm as she brushed past her.

“There is not an agent alive who hasn’t been afraid at sometime

or another.”

“Thanks,” Stonecypher replied as she followed Scully out of the

bathroom.

Soon all four agents were seated at a table in Perry’s

Steakhouse. The room was dimly lit with candles on each table.

As the group looked over their menus Kinsley spoke up. “The food

is tasty and within the bureau budget.”

“Mike is a stickler when it comes to our travel expenses,”

Stonecypher commented as she scanned her menu.

“Never over budget and not one penny unaccounted for,” Kinsley

beamed.

“Sounds like me,” Mulder whispered to Scully behind the huge

menu.

Scully bit her bottom lip to suppress a laugh.

Their orders were placed. “So Agent Kinsley, what was the case

you were working on when you saw this apparition?” Mulder asked

between bites of his breadstick.

“Stonecypher and I were sent out here to investigate some missing

uranium. You know, terrorism and all.”

Mulder politely nodded.

“We were in the process of looking over employee records and

bills of lading when we first saw this thing.” Kinsley loosened

his tie and undid the top button on his shirt.

“How did you solve this case?” Scully asked as she sat back so

that the waiter could place a salad in front of her.

“The metal is actually gathered at the end of each day from huge

machines that separate the uranium 235 from uranium 238, its only

found in nature at a rate of 1 to 140, so they only recover a few

specks per day. The company records indicated that the U235

daily recovery stayed steady throughout the month except twice a

month the daily recovery would be half as much as usual. The

company suspected the individuals who cleaned out the collecting

receptacles on those days but they checked out, even the security

cameras came up with nothing.”

“So who was doing the stealing?” Mulder asked as they began to

eat.

“Turns out the guy in charge of recording the weight of the U235

was actually under weighing the stuff then he would hand it over

to the courier who would filch it.”

“Unbelievable,” Scully commented, “how did you figure it out?”

“I majored in accounting at Virginia Southern. If we couldn’t

catch anyone stealing the stuff it had to be in the accounting.”

Kinsley smiled as he cut off a piece of steak and shoved it into

his mouth.

“So you saw this apparition in only the one plant? Mulder asked

as he pointed his fork at Kinsley.

“Well yeah, but we were only in the U235 recovery plant and the

reactor area.”

“We saw the apparition in the reactor area,” Stonecypher added.

Kinsley cut off another piece of steak. “This place is harder to

get into than Fort Knox. I doubt that we can ever get back into

the complex now that the case has been solved.”

Both Mulder and Scully stopped chewing and stared at their fellow

agent. “Then why did you call us out here?” Mulder asked as he

put down his fork.

Kinsley’s eyes darted from one agent to the other. “You have

connections, I’ve heard the rumors about you two breaking into

the DOD, Arecibo, and places like that.”

Mulder cut his steak with a little more vigor than was necessary

and glanced up at Agent Kinsley. “Agent this had better be worth

it or I’ll be kicking your ass all the way to Arecibo.”

Kinsley suddenly grew pale.

Stonecypher and Kinsley got out of the car first and entered

their rooms. Scully lingered behind wanting to spend a few

moments alone with Mulder.

“Scully, you majored in physics, is this how this stuff, U235, is

made?”

“For the most part yes. The famed Physicist Neils Bohr once said

to separate enough U235 from U238 one would have to turn an

entire country into a factory. He took one look at Oak Ridge and

said see I was right.”

Mulder smiled at the comment but Scully could tell his thoughts

were elsewhere. “What do you think this is Mulder?”

“I have no idea, but if we’re going to get in to that plant we

will need some help from the Gunmen and I can’t get a hold of

them with Kinsley looking over my shoulder.”

“I’ll try to get him into my room for a few minutes.”

“That should do it,” Mulder replied to her offer then he looked

down at her. “Scully, I would love to kiss you under this big

moon.”

“But others may be watching,” Scully finished for him.

“Yeah,” Mulder agreed as he watched her walk back to her room.

Scully gave him a long look and disappeared through the door.

Once she knew Mulder was in the other room she knocked on the

connecting door. “Agent Kinsley?”

“Yes Agent Scully,” Kinsley answered as he pulled the door open.

“I was wondering if you and Agent Stonecypher would mind going

over the floor plans for me, as you remember them of course.”

Kinsley eagerly agreed to help Scully; he relished the

opportunity to talk about the case he had just solved.

Thirty minutes later Mulder walked in the female agents room and

gave Scully a subtle nod. “What’s up?”

“Agent Kinsley was kind enough to draw a floor plan of the plant

and Agent Stonecypher filled in the details.”

Mulder looked over the floor plan that did indeed look like

something drawn by an accountant. “This should be of help.

Thanks, agents.” Mulder said as he patted Kinsley on the back.

“Okay you two back to your room. I’m tired and I’m sure Agent

Scully is too.” Stonecypher shooed the male agents back to

their own room, then she locked the connecting door, something

Scully hadn’t done since the Tooms case.

“You can us the bathroom first,” Stonecypher offered.

“Thanks, I won’t be long,” Scully said as she gathered up her

nightclothes and makeup bag.

Mulder had stripped down to his boxers and was lying on his bed

channel surfing when Kinsley came out of the bathroom wearing the

most hideous pair of pajamas Mulder had ever seen.

Kinsley glanced over at Mulder as he folded his dirty clothes and

placed them in his suitcase. “You can change now.”

Mulder smiled as he continued to stare at the TV, “I have

changed, this is it.”

Kinsley frowned, “But what if Agent Scully should need you in the

night?”

“If Agent Scully should need me in the night then I am

overdressed.” Mulder crawled off the bed and wiggled his

eyebrows at the other agent before he headed to the bathroom.

“Agent Scully,” Stonecypher said as she brushed out her long

hair, “what’s it like being partnered with Agent Mulder?”

Scully stuffed her clothes in her overnight bag and began to comb

out her own wet hair. “I doubt it’s much different than being

partnered with Agent Kinsley.”

Stonecypher stopped combing out her hair and rolled her eyes.

“Come on Agent Scully, I love being partnered with Mike, he’s the

wisest agent I know.” Scully had to smile at the other agent’s

loyalty. “But everyone knows Agent Mulder is, well, he’s like a

loaded gun waiting to go off. He’s spontaneous.”

Scully sat down on the edge of her bed. “The rumors about Mulder

are grossly exaggerated. He is a steady, solid agent that has

always watched my back. It’s just that his passion for the

answers and the truth are sometimes perceived as him being a risk

taker, but he’s not.”

“Sometimes I envy you Agent Scully and at other times I feel

sorry for you.”

Scully looked stunned. “Sorry. For me?”

“Look, I don’t mean anything by it but with Mike, I know he’ll be

up at 7:10 precisely, we always meet for lunch between 11:30 and

12:30. We do all our interviews after lunch. Mike has a system

that we follow while you were dragged half way around the world

and you two disappear for days on end. I couldn’t live that

way,” Stonecypher shivered.

“I would agree that it is taxing except for one thing, I’m

working with Mulder.” Scully needed to change the subject. “Now

you said something about being tired. I think we should both

turn in.”

“Yes, you’re right.” Stonecypher crawled off her bed and turned

down her blankets.

Kinsley was in bed going over his notes with his back braced

against the faux headboard that was screwed to the wall. “What

do you think they are talking about in there?”

Mulder looked up from his channel surfing. “Us.”

“Us?” Kinsley frowned. “What makes you think they are talking

about us?”

“Because that’s what women do after they have been in the company

of men.”

“Isn’t that a rather sexist statement?” Kinsley asked.

“No because right now most men would be talking about the two

woman in the other room.”

“How do you know that?” Kinsley suspiciously asked.

“I majored in Psychology.”

“Must help on a job like ours.”

“At times.” Mulder watched Kinsley for a few seconds. “What are

you working on?”

“Our dinner check. I’m dividing it up but it’s off by two

dollars. Wait! I found it! Stonecypher had marinara sauce with

her breadsticks.”

Mulder looked at the gleam in Kinsley’s eyes and just shook his

head.

Act II

Dana Scully heard a knock on the connecting door. “Agents, are

you ready?” It was Kinsley right on time as Stonecypher said he

would be.

Stonecypher met him at the door. “Morning Mike, we’re all

ready.”

“Great. Let’s get some breakfast.” Stonecypher grabbed her

purse and headed for the front door with Kinsley hot on her

heels. “We’ll meet you two in the car,” Kinsley said over his

shoulder to Scully.

Scully peeked into Mulder’s room but he wasn’t there. Just then

the bathroom door opened and out walked a haggard, disheveled

looking agent. “Mulder!” Scully exclaimed. “What happened to

you? You look awful.”

He sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled on his shoes. “I

always look this way after a night of no sleep.”

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Scully sat down next to him and brushed the hair away from his

eyes. “Why didn’t you sleep?” She softly asked.

Mulder put both elbows on his knees and turned to look at his

partner. “Kinsley snores.”

Scully’s eyes grew wide. “He snores?”

“Like a buzz saw.” Mulder wrapped his arm around his partner and

leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Scully,” he pled, “let me

sleep with you, you don’t snore much.”

Scully shot him a glance, “Much?”

“Well, maybe a little more than much, but we can talk about that

later.”

Scully chuckled and looked into his puffy, red eyes. “There is

nothing I would like more, but we can’t”

“What if we kill them?”

“Mulder!” Scully got up and pulled her tired partner off the

bed. “Come on, they’re waiting in the car.”

Mulder whined as Scully straightened out his tie then they walked

out of the motel room and into the bright sunshine.

“Agent Mulder will you pass the jelly?” Kinsley was busy

buttering his toast while Mulder shoveled another bite of omelet

into his mouth.

Stonecypher put down her coffee cup as Scully finished her

English muffin. “So Mike, what’s on for today?”

Kinsley shrugged. “I guess it’s up to Agent Mulder to decide.”

Mulder put his fork down and moved foreword on his chair. Scully

smiled, she knew he was now ready to get down to business. “I

want you two to point out the plant where you saw this electric

man and give me some pointers on how to get around in there.”

Kinsley laughed and shook his head. “You will never get past all

that security.”

Mulder ran his tongue over his top teeth. “Agent, I fail to see

why you even bothered to call us. You seem so set on the idea

that we can’t investigate this thing. Tell me, did you have an

ulterior motive for getting us out here?”

Kinsley shrunk under the pressure Mulder had placed the agent

under. “No Agent Mulder, I assure you we only wanted you to look

into what we saw.”

“That’s right,” Stonecypher chimed in.

Mulder looked from one agent to the other then threw down his

napkin. “You just show me where you saw this thing and let Agent

Scully and myself handle it from there. Besides they know you

two, you can’t be seen on the property. Your case is over, go

home.”

Scully was even amazed at the forcefulness in Mulder’s tone but

she figured he was just tired.

A smile broke out across Kinsley’s face. “Oh no, no way. We’re

staying here to see what you find.”

Mulder looked across at his partner and slowly batted his eyes as

he slightly shook his head. Scully knew this was Mulder’s way of

telling her that this guy was an idiot, and she agreed.

Soon the rented Taurus was sitting outside the gated fence that

surrounded the Rutherford and Stone complex. “This is it,”

Kinsley said as he ducked his head under the sun visor to look up

at vast amount of buildings.

“Okay, take off and lets check it out from a distance,” Mulder

told Kinlsey.

“Why?” Kinsley shrugged. “We can sit right here and see it.”

Mulder looked up under the visor. “And those security cameras

can see us.”

Kinsley looked up and sure enough the building was ringed with

cameras. He swallowed his pride and pulled away from the large

complex. Mulder directed him to park at a nearby tourist

overlook. The four agents exited the car and stared at the huge

complex. Mulder placed a small pair of binoculars to his eyes

and scanned the building.

Scully shaded her eyes and walked a few paces to stand beside her

partner. “It certainly is big.”

“It is, but all we need to worry about is getting into it.”

Mulder took the binoculars down and looked at Scully. “No matter

how big the building, the doors are all the same size,” he

grinned.

Scully returned his smile as Stonecypher stepped near her. “See

that long wing off to the right side of the building in the

middle?”

“Yes,” Scully answered looking in the direction Stonecypher was

pointing.

“That’s the main office where we were working and the tall

section is where the experimental reactor is and where we saw

it.”

Kinsley stepped foreword and pointed. “It was just about in the

center of the building.”

Mulder turned to his three fellow agents. “Look Kinsley, you and

Stonecypher are known there so that leaves you two out. Agent

Scully and myself will be going in alone.”

Kinsley placed his hands on his hips inside his suit jacket and

looked down at the dust-covered parking lot. “I still don’t know

how you two will get in there?”

Mulder pulled on his bottom lip and squinted under the harsh sun.

“You leave that to us.”

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Kinsley shrugged and started back to the car with Stonecypher at

his side. Scully lingered behind. “Mulder, just how do you

think we’re going to get in there?”

“I have no idea,” Mulder said taking Scully by the elbow and

heading back to the car.

All the agents piled back into the sedan and drove past the big

building once more Mulder turned to Kinsley, “How far are we from

town?”

“I don’t know,” the agent shrugged, “I guess about six or seven

miles.”

“Let’s go there next,” Mulder requested.

“What for?” Kinsley sharply asked.

Mulder looked out the side window. “I have an urge for a

Slurpee,” he sarcastically answered.

“Oh, that sounds good!” Stonecypher agreed while Scully just bit

her bottom lip to keep from laughing.

Kinsley drove down the four-lane Main Street while Scully looked

out the side window. “It’s hard to believe this was just scrub

oaks prior to 1942.

“How’s that?” Kinsley asked from the front seat.

“Oak Ridge was part of the Manhattan Project that developed the

atomic bomb during World War Two. This area was chosen for the

huge gaseous diffusion and liquid diffusion plants and the atomic

reactor because of the Tennessee Valley Authority hydroelectric

dams that were strung out along the valley floor thus providing a

large source of electricity and water, two necessary ingredients

in separating U235 from U238. The town sprung up from the need

for construction workers, scientist, technicians and their

families to have a place to live and shop.”

“That’s very interesting,” Agent Stonecypher commented.

Mulder had been listening to the conversation as he scanned the

storefronts that they passed. Suddenly he grew excited, “Stop

here!”

“Where? We’re in the middle of traffic!” Kinsley yelled.

“Stop!” Mulder yelled back.

Kinsley stopped but not before he was honked at. Mulder opened

the door and bolted from the car. “Hey where is he going?”

Kinsley frowned.

“I have no idea,” Scully sighed.

The honking got louder and Kinsley finally crept back into the

flow of traffic. By now Mulder had disappeared around a corner

but Scully knew he was merely trying to shake the other agents.

Finally Stonecypher broke the silence. “He isn’t going to find a

Slurpee around here.” Kinsley looked in the rearview mirror at

his partner and just shook his head.

Back at the motel Scully and Stonecypher were just entering their

room when Scully’s cell phone rang.

“Scully.”

“Hey Scully, it’s me but don’t let on.”

“Oh, hi mom.”

“Do I look like less of a man in your eyes?” Mulder joked.

Scully laughed slightly. “No mom, of course not.” She dropped

the phone to her chest. “Agent Stonecypher, I’m going outside

where the reception is better.”

“Okay Agent Scully, I’ll go see what Mike is doing.”

Scully stepped outside and walked to the small pool area.

“Mulder, where are you?”

“I’m at Kinko’s. I needed to find a place with high speed

Internet service and a laser jet printer.”

“Why didn’t you check with the local PD?” Scully frowned.

“Because I needed to contact the guys.”

“Oh,” Scully moaned, “’nuff said.”

“Where are Frick and Frack?”

Scully looked back at the two motel rooms. “In the rooms.”

“Scully, see if you can shake them.”

“How am I supposed to do that?” Scully snapped.

“Look, I’ve got to go, our ID’s are coming through. Call me when

you get free.” Mulder broke the connection before Scully could

object.

Stonecypher found Scully standing near the pool. “Agent Scully,

Agent Kinsley and myself are going to file our final report with

the local PD. Do you want to tag along?”

“Finally something going right,” Scully mumbled under her breath.

She folded up her cell phone and turned to face Stonecypher.

“No, thank you. I’ll wait to hear from Agent Mulder.”

Stonecypher crossed her arms. “Tell me Agent Scully, does Agent

Mulder run off a lot?”

Scully just smiled and shrugged her shoulders.

Kinsley and Stonecypher had left for the police station while

Scully had called Mulder and been instructed to call a cab and

meet him at a little café down the street from Kinko’s.

Scully stepped from the cab and walked into the dimly lit café.

She scanned the back of the restaurant knowing Mulder would never

be sitting out in the open. She spotted him in a back booth near

a large fern. “So what’s up?” Scully asked as she slid into the

booth.

Mulder ignored her question. “How did you break free so fast?”

“They had to make their final report to the local PD.”

Mulder shoved an ID badge across the table. “Here’s our key to

getting in, we work for the AEC as inspectors. Frohike has

already hacked into the AEC and Rutherford and Stone’s computers

and opened a file on us. We were due to arrive at 2PM today but

our flight was delayed and we got in at 7PM so we’ll show up on

Rutherford and Stone’s doorstep around 9PM.”

“What makes you think they’ll let us in at that hour?”

Mulder smiled and shrugged, “They’ll have to, we’re with the

Atomic Energy Commission.”

Scully huffed and shook her head then looked down at her badge

and frowned. “Mulder, what is this?”

“That’s your alias, I’m George Hale and you are…”

“Dana Frohike!”

Act III

Mulder rented a car, he and Scully made their way back to the

motel. “So when are Frick and Frack due back?”

“I’m not sure and stop calling them that,” Scully scolded.

Mulder let a little smile cross his face. He loved to watch

Scully when she was perturbed.

Mulder soon had his answer when he wheeled into the motel parking

lot and saw the other agent’s sedan sitting there. He shut off

the engine and stared at the door to the room he shared with

Kinsley. “You know Scully, we could just back out of here and

find another motel and they’d never know it.”

Scully turned to stare at her partner. “Mulder, my good pantsuit

is in that room and I’m not leaving it.”

Mulder laughed at her reply.

“So Mr. Hale what’s our plan for tonight?”

“Tonight Miss Frohike…”

“You had better say ‘miss’,” Scully teased.

“We change our clothes, you in your good pantsuit and me in a

decent tie.”

Scully smiled.

“And we walk into the joint like we belong there.”

“As simple as that?” Scully baited him.

“That’s right, Miss Frohike,” Mulder teased back.

“And what about Stonecypher and Kinsley?”

“They have to stay back here. Lucky for us they’ve seen them

before.”

Scully looked up to see the curtain to her room pulled back and

Stonecypher waving at her.

“We could make out like two teenagers and really give them

something to talk about,” Mulder joked.

Scully sighed, “As much as I’d love to, I think I had better just

go in.”

Both agent’s slowly crawled from the car as Stonecypher opened

the door. “I see you found Agent Mulder.”

“Yes, I did,” Scully said as she walked past Stonecypher.

“Mike was just saying that once you all got back we would go to

lunch together.”

Scully looked down at her watch. “Yes it is noon, I’m sure Agent

Kinsley would like to remain on schedule.” Mulder poked his

partner in the ribs for the cutting remark but he was also

smiling.

“Our last meal together before you shove off?” Mulder hopefully

asked.

“Oh no, we’ll be here for dinner too,” Stonecypher happily said.

Suddenly Kinsley stuck his head out room door. “Good you’re

back, it’s lunch time.”

Scully looked back at Mulder and rolled her eyes. He nodded

slightly, returning her thoughts.

“So just how do you two plan on getting in there?” Kinsley asked

as he wiped ketchup off his mouth.

“We’ll be impersonating AEC staff members,” Mulder nonchalantly

answered.

Kinsley stopped chewing and swallowed the wad of meat he had in

his mouth. “But that’s illegal!”

“Yes, yes it is,” Mulder solemnly said.

“But you can’t do that, it’s illegal!”

“First of all, stop saying its illegal and second of all, we are

doing it.”

“Agent Mulder won’t the bureau frown on this?” Stonecypher

asked.

“Not if they don’t find out,” Mulder said directing his glare

from one agent to the other.

Kinsley got a stupid grin on his face. “Like covert operations,

now I get it! Stonecypher and I have never gone, you know,

covert before.”

Mulder shrugged, “Ah, there’s nothing to it and besides you two

will be back at the motel.”

Kinsley started to object.

“Look agent, they know you two, you have to stay back.”

Stonecypher slumped back in her chair. “And I was looking

foreword to being covert.”

Back at the motel Mulder looked over the map at the mass of

buildings that made up the Rutherford and Stone complex while

Kinsley looked over his shoulder. “Where did you get that?” He

asked with a frown on his face.

“I picked it up at a tourist trap,” Mulder said never looking up

at Kinsley. “So much for Home Land Security.”

Kinsley sat down opposite Mulder on his own bed. “Isn’t there

anything we can do?”

“Yes there is,” Mulder said as he rose, giving Kinsley some hope,

“stay out of our way.” So much for hope.

“Hey Scully come here,” Mulder yelled as he knocked on the

connecting door.

“What is it?” Scully asked as she opened the door.

“I think we need to look this over and decide where we’re going

to enter from and how we’re going to get out.”

“You have to enter from the south gate, it’s the only one open

after six at night,” Kinsley interrupted.

Mulder and Scully both looked at their fellow agent. “Thank

you.” Mulder then added, “Is there anything else we should

know?”

“The surveillance tapes are kept in the room marked ‘security’.

You will pass it on your left as you enter the building.”

“Mike’s right, that’s where the tapes are kept, the first night

we saw it we had been going through the tapes of the loading

dock. We got done and decided to check out the docks so we

walked past the reactor and that’s when we saw the apparition as

Agent Mulder called it.” Stonecypher runs her hands up and down

her arms. “At first I thought I was imagining it, we had put in

a full day and we were both tired, but Mike saw it too.”

Scully looked over to see Kinsley staring into space as if he was

reliving the moment.

“It should be easy to nose around, our clearance will afford us

that opportunity,” Mulder assured the other agents.”

“Just what are we supposed to be checking for?” Scully asked her

partner.

Mulder brushed past her and headed for the motel room door. “How

the hell should I know, you’re the physicist.”

“Where are you going?” Scully yelled.

“I need some air,” was all Mulder would say before shutting the

door.

“Excuse me,” Scully apologized before following her partner. She

caught up with him as he walked the length of the long, narrow

parking lot. “Mulder, what is going on?” Scully fumed.

“Nothing, I just needed to get away from Frick… our fellow agents

to think.” Mulder leaned against the pool railing and stared out

as the oaks and pines that buffered the parking lot. “Scully,

you and I have been partners for what, twelve years now?”

“About that,” Scully said as she studied a leaf that she had just

picked up.

Mulder bent his head down as if telling her a secret. “Scully, I

don’t like working with other agents, it hampers our

investigation.”

“Maybe it makes us slow down,” Scully offered.

Mulder turned to stare at her. “You make it sound as if we go

off tilting at windmills. Are you saying you are buying into the

rumors of my rushing into things before I’ve done my homework?

If you are maybe you should be partnered with Frick, I mean

Kinsley.”

“Mulder why are you so jumpy? Now you are starting to scare me,”

Scully argued but with a touch of concern in her voice.

“I just don’t have a good feeling about this Scully.” Mulder

finally confessed to her. He leaned against the rail and slumped

his shoulders as he crossed his arms and stared at the ground.

Scully leaned against the railing next to him and unfolded his

arms and took his hand in hers. “Mulder this is not an official

case, Skinner didn’t give us a 302, no paperwork, hell we’ll

probably have to pay our own expenses.” Mulder had to smile at

her last remark. “We can walk away from this and go home. It is

on property governed by the NRC, and the AEC, and most likely the

DOD. That’s a lot of the alphabet to have coming down on us.”

“I know,” Mulder softly agreed as he draped his arm across his

partners shoulder.

“But we’re going in anyway aren’t we?” Scully could see a small

smile cross Mulder’s face as he nodded his head yes.

“Then you better have a plan and it had better be a good one,”

Scully smiled up at her partner.

Mulder pulled her into a tight embrace. “Have I ever not had a

plan Scully?”

“You’re scaring me again,” Scully teased.

“Look I need to contact Frohike again, I’ll be back in an hour or

so.”

Scully looked at her partner suspiciously. “You’re not ditching

me are you?”

“No, I really do need to contact the guys.” He kissed her

forehead and released her then she watched him walk to the car.

Scully entered her motel room to find Stonecypher working on her

computer. “Don’t let me disturb you,” Scully told the other

agent.

“Oh you’re no problem. I was just finishing up my report to the

bureau.”

“You’re finishing it up already? Mulder and I usually burn the

midnight oil to finish it the night before it’s due.”

Stonecypher turned off her laptop and closed it. “Mike would

never stand for that. We always finish our report before we fly

out.”

“He’s very efficient, isn’t he?” Scully smiled.

“He’s a great agent to work with.” Stonecypher looked past

Scully. “Is Agent Mulder coming in?”

“No, he had to run into town but he’ll be back soon.”

“Good because we always eat dinner between 5:30 and 6:00.”

Scully nodded her head slightly and pursed her lips, grateful

that Mulder was not as anal retentive as Kinsley was.

“Agent Scully, I gotta tell you if Agent Mulder isn’t back in ten

minutes we’re leaving without him,” a peeved Agent Kinsley

informed Scully. Kinsley looked down at his watch. “We should

have left twenty minutes ago.”

Scully rose from her chair and approached the male agent. “Agent

Kinsley, why don’t you and Stonecypher go on to dinner? I can

wait for Agent Mulder.”

Just then they heard a car pull up outside. Stonecypher peeked

out the curtains. “It’s him, it’s Agent Mulder.”

“Good,” Kinsley said brushing past Scully, “I’m hungry, now we

can eat.”

Mulder unlocked the door to his room and stepped inside just as

the three agents entered through the connecting door. “Don’t

even bother to sit down Agent Mulder, we’re late for dinner,”

Kinsley barked.

Mulder looked confused. “Do we have reservations somewhere?”

Mulder swiped his napkin across his mouth. “I have to hand it to

you Kinsley, you do know where the best steaks are.”

Kinsley took the compliment well. “The best and the most

economical.”

Stonecypher returned from the salad bar. “Agent Mulder when do

you plan on infiltrating the building?”

Scully had to smile at the agent’s use of the covert terminology.

Mulder cleared his throat. “Tonight around 9pm.”

“I have to admit, it does sound exciting but I’m not sure I would

want to see that apparition again.”

Mulder put down his cup of coffee. “Agent Scully and myself have

seen much worse over the years.”

“I would like to try an X file case just once,” Stonecypher

excitedly said. Kinsley shot his partner a confused frown.

“The cases Mike and I investigate are so hum-drum and Agent

Scully assured me that even she gets scared from time to time.”

“Any agent who tells you different is a liar,” Mulder replied.

“But you guys don’t seem to ever solve anything,” Kinsley

interjected.

“That’s not true, our solve rate is one of the highest in the

bureau,” Scully defensively said. “And we usually get the cases

other agents can’t solve.

Kinsley turned red at the implication.

“Well, I think the X files sound exciting,” Stonecypher replied.

Kinsley looked down at his watch. “We need to get going.”

Mulder knocked on the connecting door. “Hey Scully, have you

seen my blue tie?”

Scully opened the door to let him in. “I’m sure I packed it.

Did you look in the side pocket of your suitcase?”

Mulder grinned that dopey grin that Scully has come to know

means; I didn’t think to look there. He returned to his own room

and seconds later yelled back, “I found it.”

Stonecypher sat on the edge of Scully’s bed as she laid out her

weapon, badge, and fake ID. “So you pack for Agent Mulder?”

Scully paused for a moment, caught off guard by the question.

“Some of his clothing got mixed in with mine on our last case and

his tie accidentally went to the cleaners with my clothes. When

we left I stuffed it into his bag,” Scully nonchalantly lied.

Stonecypher seemed to have bought the explanation. Scully put

her weapon in her travel bag and turned around. “Well, do I look

like I work for the AEC?”

Stonecypher looked her over. “You look like every other woman I

saw working there except you aren’t wearing a lab coat.”

“Good,” Scully nodded as Mulder peeked around the corner of the

door.

“All set?” He asked.

“As set as I’m going to get,” Scully replied as she walked to the

outside entrance.

Act IV

The night was cool but not cold and the sun had just set. The

huge labs and plants were between shifts so traffic was light.

Mulder adjusted the rearview mirror and tugged at his tie. He

strummed his fingers on the steering wheel and messed with the

vent system. Finally Scully couldn’t stand it any longer.

“Mulder, what is up with you? Is there something you’re not

telling me?”

“Scully, I told you…”

“Oh cut the crap Mulder, it’s me you’re attempting to lie to not

Stonecypher.”

Mulder pulled off the highway and onto a service road. He

stopped the car as Scully braced for a fight. He turned toward

his partner and contritely said, “Scully, I am bothered.” He

looked over the steering wheel and out into the night. “What if

Kinsley and Stonecypher saw what Diana and I saw in that reactor

in Arizona?”

Scully was speechless.

“Maybe they did see something. When I left this afternoon I

contacted the guys to see if there had been any UFO activity over

the area.”

Scully swallowed hard. “What did they say?”

“They found nothing unusual but that doesn’t rule anything out.”

“What if we do find one of them?” Scully tentatively asked.

Mulder grasped her hand and rubbed his thumb across her fingers.

“Don’t worry, we’ll get thought this, we always do.”

Scully let a small breath escape. “I’m glad you told me the

truth.”

“I wasn’t hiding anything but I needed to talk to the guys

first.”

They sat in silence for a few moments. “Well Mulder, let’s do

it.”

Mulder grinned at his partner and started the car.

They approached the high security fence that ringed the 7.6

square mile complex that is Rutherford and Stone. The two agents

got past the first security checkpoint with a mere mention of

their names that now appeared on every security computer screen

thanks to the Gunmen.

A half-mile into the complex another checkpoint appeared. This

time they were asked to produce their photo ID’s.

“So far so good,” Mulder said as they made their way to their

destination, building K-1007.

“It should be on the left, the second building, according to your

tourist map,” Scully said looking up from the small map.

“I think I see it.” Mulder brought the car to a halt in front of

a small building, small only in comparison to the forty-five acre

K-25 plant that sat next door. He looked up at the L-shaped

building. “This must be the place.”

Both agents exited the car. Scully pulled her suit jacket

tighter while the cool night wind tussled her hair as they

approached the next guard post.

“Good evening folks.”

“Evening,” both agents respectfully answered.

“Can I see some ID?” The burly guard asked.

Mulder unclipped his photo ID from his jacket and handed it to

the guard. “I’m Doctor George Hale, AEC.” The guard punched the

information into his computer as Mulder and Scully held their

breath.

“And you, ma’am.”

“I’m Doctor Dana Frohike, PhD and also with the AEC.”

Mulder flashed his partner a slight grin at her one-upmanship.

The guard punched in Scully’s information and paused for a few

seconds. “Okay, you’re cleared.” He handed two visitors badges

to the pair of agents. “Wear these at all times.”

“Yeah, we know the routine,” Mulder laughed.

“I’m sure you do,” the guard agreed.

The agents approached the building. “PhD?” Mulder laughed as he

held the glass door open for Scully.

The entrance was brightly lit with a few people coming and going

even at that late hour. They approached what they hoped was the

last security checkpoint of the evening.

The guard didn’t appear to be the least bit pleasant and maybe

even surly. “This guy will be trouble,” Mulder mumbled under his

breath to Scully as they walked through the next set of glass

doors.

“How do you know?” Scully asked her partner.

“You should know,” Mulder deadpanned, “you’re the one with the

PhD.”

“Good evening sir,” Mulder smiled at the guard.

The guard merely grumbled and tossed out a clipboard with a pen

attached to a string. “Sign this,” he growled.

Mulder dutifully signed his name then passed the clipboard to

Scully. “Well, what are ya waitin’ for, a guided tour?” The

guard growled. Mulder nodded at the guard and ushered Scully

past him as he heard him remark, “AEC must stand for another

expert crackpot.”

Mulder pointed to a small room on the left, “This is the security

tape room.” He walked over and tried the doorknob but found it

locked. “Scully watch Barnie Fife for me while I get us in.”

“Mulder! We are breaking and entering on federal property!”

Scully huffed.

“And we are impersonating AEC officials, your point being?”

Mulder sniped as he continued to try and pick the lock. “There,”

he said as the door swung open. “PhD’s first.”

Scully tried to hide a smile but didn’t succeed. She flipped on

a lamp away from the door so the light wouldn’t escape from

underneath. She turned to look over the racks of tapes that

stood before her. “At least they’re categorized by date and

time.”

Mulder sat down in front of a bank of tape players. “Kinsley and

Stonecypher saw the apparition two nights before we arrived.”

“Got the date over here, now what time?” Scully asked her

partner as she scanned down the tapes.

“Mid evening, say around 9 pm.”

“I’ve got 6 to 12 midnight.”

“That should be the one,” Mulder said as he readied a tape

machine.

Scully popped the tape in and sat down next to her partner. “New

perfume?” Mulder asked as he fast-forwarded the tape.

“Yes, my favorite G-man bought it for me.”

“Better not be Skinner,” Mulder teased as he slowed the tape down

to the point where Kinsley and Stonecypher first appeared.

“Skinner is too cheap,” Scully remarked as she moved in to look

at the screen.

Kinsley and Stonecypher could be seen walking around a vat of

clear water that had several pipes coming out of it.

“That must be the reactor,” Mulder commented.

“Looks like a swimming pool reactor to me,” Scully said.

“Swimming pool reactor?”

“I’ve read about these and I know Rutherford and Stone has one.”

Scully pointed to the deep pool of water set in the concrete

floor. “The swimming pool reactor was developed by Eugene Wigner

and is largely used for research. The water acts as a moderator,

coolant, and because the reactor is run at low power it’s also

the shield.”

“Interesting.” Mulder pointed to the pool as Kinsley and

Stonecypher walked around it on the video. “Why is it so

bright?”

“My guess is that they back light it so they can observe various

effects visually as well as chemically and electrically.”

“Wow Scully! You really do have a PhD,” Mulder laughed.

Kinsley and Stonecypher continued to walk around the swimming

pool reactor; they stopped to discuss something then moved on.

The camera clicked to a shot of another department.

“That looks like it might be the tech area,” Scully commented.

Mulder fast-forwarded through the video and found Kinsley and

Stonecypher still at the swimming pool reactor. The two agents

appeared to be starting to leave the room when Kinsley turned

back with a startled look on his face. He could be seen grabbing

Stonecypher’s arm, forcing her to turn around. Her hand

immediately went to her mouth in surprise.

“What are they seeing?” Mulder hissed. “Dammit! The camera

angle is wrong, we can’t see it!”

The video switched back to another angle of the tech area.

Mulder fast fore-warded to the reactor room once more but Kinsley

and Stonecypher had already gone and the swimming pool appeared

normal. He fast-forwarded through several more rotations of the

security video but found no sign of the lightning man. He shut

off the player and leaned back in the chair. “Son of a bitch

Scully, we were so close to seeing whatever it was that they

saw.”

Scully took out the tape and returned it to the shelf. “I guess

that leaves only one thing, we’ll have to check it out

ourselves.”

Mulder got up from the chair and moved to the door. He placed

his ear next to the door and waited. “I’m not sure what Barnie

Fife is up to.”

Scully moved to stand beside him. “The phone’s ringing Scully,

let’s see if he answers it.” Mulder listened a second longer.

“Okay, he should be sitting with his back to us, let’s just hope

no one else is outside this door.”

Mulder gently opened the door and let Scully slip out as he

paused to lock it from the inside before he also slipped out.

Both agents held their breath as they walked around the nearest

corner and paused. “So far, so good,” Mulder said as he stopped

to get his bearings. “We need to follow this hallway, turn

right, go down a flight of stairs and through a set of double

steel doors, at least that’s what Kinsley said.”

They followed the hallway, took the steps and found the double

doors. Scully grabbed Mulder’s arm just before he pushed the

doors open. “Mulder, what is our alibi if anyone is in there?”

“We’ll do what all bureaucrats do, we’ll ask to see the records,”

he grinned. Scully seemed to accept this premise.

They pushed both heavy metal doors open to reveal a cool, clean,

white room with gauges and meters mounted on white steel girders

and support posts. In the middle of the floor sat the swimming

pool reactor just as they had seen it on the videotape. The

agents approach the pool of water.

“Is this safe Scully, I mean we’re awfully close to this thing?

I don’t want to wake up with a third eye.”

Scully smiled up at her hesitant partner. “It’s safe, this place

has all kinds of built in safety features.”

They walked around the reactor then Scully stepped up onto the

catwalk that transverses the pool. Mulder followed. The pool

was backlit just as Scully had described it would be. Mulder

stooped down to look into the clear water.

Scully bent over with her hands braced on her knees. “Do you see

anything?”

Mulder slowly shook his head. “No, nothing that I can see.” He

paused then looked over at Scully, “What if it’s escaped?”

Scully looked back at him with wide eyes.

The heavy metal door swung open causing both agents to nearly

jump out of their skin. “Hey you two, get down from there!”

It was the irritated security guard and he had brought backup.

Mulder stood up and raised his hands into the air when he saw the

semi-automatics pointed at him and Scully did the same.

As soon as Mulder and Scully had gotten off the platform one of

the younger security guards grabbed Mulder by the arm and pushed

him away from Scully while another guard handcuffed him. Scully

was asked to turn around and she too was handcuffed.

Both agents were quickly frisked. Neither Mulder nor Scully was

armed but the guards do find their FBI badges and ID’s on them.

“Come on,” one of the guards said as he shoved Mulder. Mulder

turned around to see what kind of treatment Scully was receiving

but over her shoulder he saw a bluish-white ghostly glow coming

from the reactor. He was hustled through the steel doors before

he could react.

Each agent was placed in a separate dark sedan and driven to a

small building deep in the complex where they were once again

reunited. They were led to a small office that contained two

chairs facing a desk. Scully was uncuffed first and told to sit

down while Mulder was treated the same. Both guards left the

room.

Mulder glanced over to his partner. “Do you think Skinner will

burst through the door to chew our asses out as usual?”

“We can only hope,” Scully whispered back.

A few minutes passed and in walked a tall, distinguished looking

man who had obviously just gotten out of bed. He stepped behind

the desk and sat down. He looked nothing like Skinner, gray

hair, prominent nose, and wiry thin frame. He leaned back and

looked over the two agents seated before him.

“It’s eleven thirty, I’m finally getting a good nights sleep and

then I get this phone call, we’ve got two interlopers in the

swimming pool area.” He stared at Mulder then at Scully but

neither agent flinched; they were use to be screamed at. “And

who are the culprits? Two FBI Agents posing as AEC janitors.

Now really, couldn’t you have come up with a better cover than

that?”

Mulder was confused by the janitor remark.

The man got up and paced behind his chair. “I am Assistant

Director Thomas Coby of Rutherford and Stone.” He sat on the

edge of his desk. “And I thought I had seen it all until you two

showed up.”

“Sir, we were not posing as janitors, we were supposed to be

doctors, Agent Scully here has a PhD.” Mulder tried to smooth

things over.

“Save it son,” the AD barked, “you need to tell it to your

lawyer.” Each agent glanced at the other then Mulder’s curiosity

got the best of him. “Sir, why would you think we were

janitors?”

“The computers came back with your security clearance and job

code, turns out you two are over dressed janitors. I suggest the

next time you hack into the AEC files you first update your data

base!”

Suddenly there was a noise outside the door. “I need to talk to

AD Coby.” Mulder recognized Kinsley’s voice.

The AD walked to the door. “What the hell is going on?” He

spotted Kinsley and Stonecypher and softened. “Agents, how nice

to see you. I thought you had left.”

“We were on our way out but we needed to speak to you first,”

Kinsley said as Stonecypher looked over his shoulder.

AD Coby stepped aside to let the agents in then took his seat

behind the desk. “Now what is it agents?”

Kinsley glanced over to his fellow agents. “Sir, we called

agents Mulder and Scully in, we noticed a breech in your

security.”

“We saw a man down by the reactor,” Stonecypher interjected.

“Why didn’t you tell me this?” The AD asked.

“We wanted to do our own external investigation so we called them

in,” Kinsley said motioning to Mulder and Scully.

Mulder was mortified that Kinsley had to pull his butt out of the

fire. Scully merely smiled a sickly smile.

“Well they did a damn poor job of it posing as AEC janitors.”

This statement took Kinsley back. “Janitors?” He laughed.

“But they did succeed,” Stonecypher said. “They were able to

breech your security and spend time at the reactor, now what if

they had been terrorist? Kaboom!”

Everyone in the room jumped.

“That’s right,” Kinsley added. “They did just what any terrorist

with any brains could do, hack some crummy ID’s, dress up, and

lie their way past your guards.”

Mulder sunk lower and lower into his chair while Scully stared at

her feet as if she had never seen them before.

The AD sat with his tired head resting on his fist for a few

minutes then slumped back into his chair. “Okay they can go but

I want a full report on my desk within a week, and Kinsley you

and Stonecypher make damn well sure you put them on a plane and

they get the hell out of here.”

Mulder and Scully rose from their chairs and walked toward the

door. “Agents,” the AD called out. Mulder and Scully both

paused at the door. “You could take a lesson from these two.”

Kinsley had a grin plaster across his face while Stonecypher was

visibly embarrassed.

Mulder looked back at the two agents while Scully started out the

door. Mulder was still looking back when he shut the door.

“Sorry they towed your car away,” Stonecypher offered from the

front seat while Kinsley pulled the sedan out of the complex and

onto the dark road.

Mulder sat in the back seat sulking while Scully looked out the

side window. Finally he spoke up, “Thank you for getting us out

of there.”

“How did you know we were in trouble?” Scully asked.

Stonecypher smiled at her partner then looked back at Mulder and

Scully. “We were on a covert mission of our own. We followed

you and when we saw all the commotion we knew you were in trouble

so we followed the motorcade to Rutherford and Stone’s corporate

offices. Agent Mulder, tell me did you see anything?”

“I didn’t see a lightning man if that’s what you’re asking,”

Mulder pouted.

“Oh,” Stonecypher groaned, “I was hoping you would see

something.”

“Nothing but a bluish-white light above the reactor.”

“We saw that too!” Kinsley jumped in.

“Did you see it, Agent Scully?” Stonecypher asked.

“If you’re referring to Cherenkov’s Glow then yes I saw it.”

“Cherenkov’s Glow?” Suddenly Mulder is excited. “It has a

name?”

“Do you think the lightning man’s name was Cherenkov?”

Stonecypher asked. The other agents just stared at their fellow

agent.

“No, the glow we all saw is called Cherenkov’s Glow. It was

discovered by Soviet physicist Pavel Cherenkov in 1934 and the

glow comes from electrons in the reactor traveling at speeds

greater than the speed of light in water.”

“How is that possible?” Mulder frowned.

“Because the speed of light in water is 75 percent of the speed

of light in a vacuum. It’s all relative.”

“I can see that, Einstein.” A smile finally crossed Mulder’s

face.

“So you’re saying what we saw was a nuclear reaction and not some

lightning man?” Kinsley asked as he drove down the dark road.

“Maybe, while Cherenkov radiation is unusual it’s not uncommon.

It’s been compared to a sonic boom.”

Mulder chuckled, “You mean we were almost brought up on charges

for impersonating AEC janitor’s for an electromagnetic sonic

boom?”

Scully pursed her lips and nodded her head. “It would appear

so.”

“Then what did Mike and I see?” Stonecypher questioned.

“My guess is you were tired and over stressed by the case you

were working on, sometimes the mind plays tricks on us.”

“So you’re saying we didn’t see anything?” Kinsley asked looking

in the rearview mirror.

“In my opinion, no, you did not see anything.”

Stonecypher looked back over the seat. “What is your opinion,

Agent Mulder?”

“I’d say at this point, I would have to agree with Agent Scully.”

Scully’s eyes grew wide as she looked over at her partner.

“What! Can’t I agree with you once in awhile?” Mulder smiled.

Mulder crawled into the downy soft bed made all the more

comfortable because he was sharing it with his partner. He

snuggled up to the woman curled up next to him. He softly kissed

her cheek and was rewarded with a small smile from the sleepy red

head. “I’m glad we’re home.”

“Me too,” Scully yawned. “I’m glad you had Kinsley drop us at

the airport.”

“I couldn’t spend one more night listening to him snore.”

“Is that the only reason you wanted to come home?” Scully asked

through sleepy eyes.

Mulder kissed her jaw. “Oh I had other reasons too.”

“Wanna share them with me.”

“Maybe I missed Skinner,” Mulder teased.

“Do you think he is going to have our asses?” Scully mumbled.

Mulder falls onto his back. “I doubt it, he’s as much to blame

as we are. He’s the one who sent us out there.”

Scully eased herself onto Mulder’s chest and ran her fingers

across his ribs. “Mulder, we are better agents than Kinsley and

Stonecypher aren’t we?”

“Of course we are Scully. You solved the mystery of the blue-

white glow.”

“I just happened to have studied physics or I might not have

known about the Cherenkov Glow, but then again I do have a PhD.”

Mulder could feel a grin cross Scully’s face. “Scully do you

know what PhD stands for?”

Scully snuggled in tighter to her partner. “No, what does it

stand for?”

“Piled, high and deep.”

Scully tried to keep from laughing. “Mulder would you like to

spend the night on the couch?”

“No ma’am I’d rather sleep with my favorite PhD.”

~ The End ~

1

Turkey 101

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Title: Turkey 101

Date: November 10, 2004

Author: Kathy Foote

Summary: Mulder and Scully reminisce about Thanksgiving

past

Rating: PG

Category: MSR, Humor

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, these characters are the property of

Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and Twentieth Century Fox. I

wish they were mine, but they aren’t.

Archive: Two weeks exclusive with VS12, then anywhere is

fine by me

Authors’ note: This story was written for IMTP Virtual Season

12, Thanksgiving Special.

Thanks: To Emmy and everyone at Mulder’s Refuge who

encourage my writing, to my Mom who is rapidly becoming my

writing partner, and last but definitely not least, to Vickie

Moseley, my absolutely fabulous beta.

Turkey 101

THANKSGIVING, 2004

Mulder and Scully sat around their dining table having just

finished their Thanksgiving dinner. The table was packed with

food. There was a modest sized turkey that had been roasted to

perfection, missing a few slices. There were half full bowls of

dressing, mashed potatoes, and green beans. There was even a

gravy boat containing what looked like giblet gravy. There was

a beautiful centerpiece of autumn flowers, surrounded by

burning candles. It was perfect; Martha Stewart would have

been proud.

“Mulder…that was the best turkey yet. I believe you outdid

yourself”, Scully said rubbing her full belly. “You just keep

getting better every year. I don’t know how you do it.”

“Yeah…well…compared to the first year, it isn’t hard to show

improvement”, laughed Mulder, remembering his first

experience cooking a turkey. “Do you remember that?”

Scully broke into a wide grin, “Of course, I remember. I was

completely surprised. I had no idea what you had planned.”

“I just wanted to do something really special for you Scully. I

had no idea what I was getting into. It was a spur of the

moment thing…”

THANKSGIVING, 2001

Mulder sat in his office, seeing how many pencils he could get

stuck into the ceiling. He was bored. It had been pretty quiet

these last few days with Scully spending all her time at

Quantico. Thank God, it was a short week. Tomorrow was

Thanksgiving and they would be off for four days. They were

planning to spend the long weekend together, since her mother

had gone out of town. He couldn’t wait. They hadn’t spent that

much time together, since they became a couple.

He wanted to do something special for Scully, so he decided he

would cook Thanksgiving dinner, complete with turkey and

dressing and pumpkin pie. He called her cell phone and asked

her to come to his place the next day around 2:00. He said he

had a quick errand to run in the morning but he would have

lunch ready when she arrived. He wanted to make sure she

wouldn’t arrive before the meal would be ready. He knew she

would never suspect that he would actually cook a turkey. She

would probably be expecting pizza or Chinese takeout.

On his way home, Mulder stopped at the supermarket to buy the

fixings for dinner. He picked out an 18 lb frozen turkey. It

looked big, but he thought it would leave them with plenty of

leftovers. They wouldn’t have to cook the rest of the weekend.

He had better things planned for them, than cooking meals.

He walked up and down the aisles trying to decide what he

should buy to eat with the turkey. He bought Stove Top

Stuffing, instant mashed potatoes, frozen green beans (Scully

would expect some kind of green vegetable), a jar of turkey

gravy, and jellied cranberry sauce (he had always liked that

stuff). He picked up a pumpkin pie and a can of whipped

cream. He thought about it for a second, and when an idea

formed in his head, grabbed a second can of whipped cream.

He saw a stack of aluminum roasting pans. He thought about it

and decided he didn’t have anything big enough to hold the

turkey, so he threw one in his basket. He mentally went over

his menu and decided he had everything he needed. The girl at

the checkout counter commented on his choice of turkey,

guessing that he must be cooking for a large group and hoping

he had enough time to thaw it out. Mulder wasn’t listening. He

was deep in thought about how he would pull this off.

As soon as he got home, he called the Gunmen to see if they

knew how to cook a turkey. They put him on speakerphone and

each threw out a myriad of ideas from cooking the turkey to

stuffing it. They even detailed how to properly prepare giblet

gravy (what the _hell_ is a giblet?).

Finally, Mulder had had enough of their advice. He said he

would figure it out on his own, but before he could disconnect,

Byers suggested checking out the Butterball website. He said

they were bound to have all kinds of information on cooking

turkey. Mulder had no idea such a website existed. He

immediately booted up his computer and checked out the site.

The site was amazing. It had everything he would need to know

about cooking turkey. It even had videos.

The first task was to thaw the turkey. He could thaw it in the

refrigerator for 2-3 days. 2-3 days? No way! There was a

faster way that involved using cold water. That would be a

possibility. He read further. “Are you left with no time to thaw

your turkey? No thawing is needed for all natural Butterball

Fresh Whole Turkeys”. Now they tell him. It looked like it

would be the cold-water method.

– Thaw breast side down in its unopened wrapper in cold water to

cover

– Change the water every 30 minutes to keep surface cold

– Estimate minimum thawing time to be 30 minutes per pound for

whole turkey

Wait! 30 minutes per pound? If that were correct, it would take

9 hours to thaw the turkey. Damn! It was almost 11:00pm and

if he started now, it would not be thawed until 8:00am. Why in

the hell had he bought such a big turkey? What had he been

thinking? Obviously, he had been thinking about spending the

weekend with Scully and nothing else.

Mulder filled the sink with cold water, placed the turkey in the

water, and set the timer for 30 minutes. When the timer went

off, he replaced the cold water in the sink and reset the timer.

Every 30 minutes he repeated the procedure. Finally, around

1:00am, he began to fall asleep during the wait, only to be

awakened by the ringing timer. He would no sooner fall into a

deep sleep then he had to get up and take care of the turkey.

Around 7:30, Mulder figured the turkey was thawed enough and

was ready to be cooked. He jumped back on the computer and

looked up how to cook the turkey. First, he needed to know

how long it would take to cook the monster turkey. It would

take 4 1/2 hours to cook if he stuffed it and only 3 1/2 hours if

it was unstuffed. Mulder opted for an unstuffed turkey. He

studied the remaining steps, committing them to memory.

– Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

– Place thawed or fresh turkey, breast up on a flat rack in a

shallow pan, 2 to 2-1/2 inches deep.

He thought about how glad he was he had seen the pans in the

store. He had never considered what he would have used to

cook the turkey in. Pan…check!

– Brush or rub skin with oil to prevent the skin from drying and

to enhance the golden color.

Oil? Mulder didn’t have any oil. He had butter and that would

be close enough. Butter…check!

– Insert oven-safe meat thermometer deep into the lower part of

the thigh muscle, but not touching the bone. If unstuffed, the

turkey is done when the meat thermometer reaches 180°F deep in

the thigh; also, juices should be clear, not reddish pink when

thigh muscle is pierced deeply.

Meat thermometer? They had thermometers for meat?

Obviously, the one Scully had bought for him wouldn’t work; it

didn’t go any higher than 106 degrees. What were his options?

Well, he could run out and try to find one or do without it. He

decided he would do without it. No meat thermometer…check!

– When the turkey is about two-thirds done, loosely cover the

breast and top of drumsticks with a piece of lightweight foil

to prevent overcooking the breast.

Foil? Dammit! He should have checked out this website before

he went to the store. Think! Where could he get some foil? He

remembered he had some leftovers in the refrigerator that were

wrapped in foil. Thank you, Scully. Foil…check!

He returned to the kitchen and prepared the turkey for cooking.

He first turned on the oven to 375 degrees. Then, he rubbed

down the bird with butter, put it into the roasting pan, and

placed it in the oven. He checked his watch…8:30. He would

need to put the foil on the turkey at 11:00.

By 11:00, you could smell the turkey cooking. Mulder

unwrapped the leftovers, set the foil aside, and threw away the

leftovers. He carefully smoothed out the foil, but still managed

to tear it several times in the process. He arranged the small

pieces of foil over the top of the turkey, trying to cover as much

as possible. Wouldn’t want to burn our breast, now would we?

He checked his watch…11:30. The turkey should be ready by

1:00.

While Mulder waited for the turkey to finish cooking, he

decided to recheck the website to see if there was anything else

he forgot. There were so many topics on the website. He

decided to check out the ‘First Timers’ section and see how he

had done.

– Determine how much turkey and stuffing you will need: Let

Butterball do the math with the Turkey and Stuffing Calculator.

Oops…well he had missed that one. 18 lbs for 2 people was

probably a bit much. He decided to see how much he should

have bought. He entered the variables. Adults…2, children…0,

leftovers…yes. He pressed the ‘Calculate’ button and it spit out

the answer of 3 lbs. Wow…he guessed he would have a lot of

leftovers. Maybe he could pawn some off on the Gunmen.

– Prepare your shopping list: Save multiple trips to the store by

Creating Your Own Shopping List.

That would have been a good idea. At least he didn’t make

multiple trips to the store. Of course, he decided to forego some

of the items. Next time, he would make a list of everything he

would need, including the elusive meat thermometer.

– Thaw the Turkey: Refrigerator or Cold Water? Decide which method

is right for you.

He wished he had seen that one. If he had known and planned

ahead, he would not have been up all night thawing out the

monster turkey. Next time, he would buy a smaller turkey and

would purchase it several days in advance.

– Roasting to Perfection: Follow our Open Pan Roasting Method and

Video for tender and juicy turkey every time. And learn where the

meat thermometer goes and how to tell when the turkey is done.

There was that damn meat thermometer again. He would

definitely have to buy one of those next time.

– Still looking for fail-safe preparation? Consider preparing a

Butterball Fully Cooked Turkey.

He really wished he had seen that idea before now. He could

have bought one already cooked or had dinner catered if he had

planned ahead. He nixed the latter idea. He really wanted to

cook for Scully. She was going to be so surprised and this

would have all been worth it just to see the look on her face. He

let out a satisfied sigh as he thought about her.

He shook himself from his daydream. He didn’t have time for

that. He had just enough time to grab a quick shower and set

the table, before the turkey would be done.

At 1:00, he checked out his turkey. It was golden brown and

looked pretty damn good, even if he said so himself. He took it

out so it could…breathe…or was it rest…either way, it had to

sit for at least 15 minutes before it could be carved. He figured

it could lie there and rest until Scully got there, which would be

in about 45 minutes.

It was time to cook the side dishes. He had four side dishes,

which would require 4 burners and 4 pans. He had 4 burners on

his stove, so that was no problem, but when he counted pans, he

came up short. He found only 2 pans. Now what could he do?

Not only would he have to cook 4 things using only 2 pans, but

also he would have to keep everything warm until Scully

showed up. He hadn’t even considered that each of these things

needed to be cooked on top of the stove and basically at the

same time, so everything would be hot.

He suddenly had a brilliant idea. He removed the turkey from

the roasting pan and placed it on a cookie sheet, since he didn’t

have a plate big enough to hold the massive bird. He would

cook the stuffing and potatoes, put them in the roasting pan, and

keep them warm in the oven, while he cooked the beans and

gravy.

True to her word, Scully showed up at exactly 2:00. He opened

the door and there she stood. He invited her in and took her

coat. She was casually dressed in jeans and an oversized oxford

shirt, with her hair pulled back into a ponytail.

“I thought we were just going to hang out and watch movies, so

I wore my comfortable clothes.”

“You look great, Scully, but you might be even _more_

comfortable wearing nothing” Mulder retorted, waggling his

eyebrows for a lecherous effect.

Scully looked back at him, patting him on the cheek, “Maybe

later…if you’re a good boy.”

Mulder gave her his patented puppy-dog look, “Ah, Scully, you

know I am always a good boy. Maybe we can…”

She interrupted him, having noticed the smell of the food. “Is

that food I smell, Mulder? Did you already order lunch?”

“Order? I’ll have you know, I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for

us…with my own hands.”

“Well. I just assumed you would be ord…wait…what did you

say? You cooked?”

“I _cooked_ . Turkey, dressing, and all the fixings.”

“Mulderrrr”, she purred, “I can’t believe you cooked…. for me.”

“Come sit down Scully and I’ll put the food on the table.”

Mulder retrieved the food from the kitchen. He put the

dressing, potatoes, beans, and gravy in their own bowls. Scully

watched with her mouth agape as Mulder brought the dishes

filled with food from the kitchen to the table.

He brought out his turkey last and placed it in the center of the

table.

Scully’s eyes widened in surprise. “Mulder! How many more

people are you expecting? That turkey would feed a small

army.”

“Yeah, I know…I…uh…I thought we could eat the leftovers

this weekend. I figured we would be too _busy_ to cook

anything. Besides, you’d be amazed how many leftover turkey

recipes I found on the Internet. There’s turkey chili, turkey

nachos, turkey pizza, turkey pasta…”

Scully rolled her eyes, “Enough, Mulder…I’ll take your word

for it. You’re beginning to sound like that guy from Forrest

Gump.”

Mulder proudly carved into the turkey and, as he hoped, it was

done, even without the use of the meat thermometer. Scully and

he ate their Thanksgiving dinner amid the occasional sounds of

approval.

“Mulder, this is _really_ good. I am so surprised.”

Mulder gave her a little pout, “Are you surprised because you

weren’t expecting it or are you surprised because it is good?”

“Both, I guess. I never expected you to cook an entire

Thanksgiving dinner. It was a great surprise and you did a

damn good job. I’m proud of you.”

Mulder smiled, “Thanks.” He wasn’t sure what made him most

happy…the fact that it turned out so good or that Scully was

proud of him. “Hey, I have another surprise. Close your eyes.”

“Another?” Scully obediently closed her eyes.

Mulder disappeared into the kitchen. He retuned with the

pumpkin pie and the two cans of whipped cream. He placed the

pie and one can of whipped cream on the table, keeping the

other can behind his back. “Ok, you can open your eyes.”

When Scully saw the pie, her eyes grew wide, “Oh my God,

Mulder, I couldn’t eat another thing. Let’s save the pie for

later.”

Mulder leaned in close to Scully’s ear and huskily whispered,

“Fine by me, Scully, because I actually had a better use planned

for the whipped cream anyway”.

Scully turned her face to look at him and broke into a wide

smile, “Oh really, Agent Mulder?” She snatched the can of

whipped cream off the table and said, “I have a few plans of my

own.” She stood and started backing toward the bedroom

Mulder also broke into a wide grin. He brought the other can of

whipped cream from behind his back. “Oooh, Scully…I sure

hope we’re thinking the same thing. Come on…I’ll race you to

the bedroom…”

THANKSGIVING, 2004

Mulder and Scully laughed as they remembered that

Thanksgiving not so long ago.

“Mulder, did we ever eat that pumpkin pie?”

“Yeah…the next day…but we had to eat it plain, because we

used up all the whipped cream on other things”, Mulder said,

reaching for her hands and waggling his eyebrows for added

effect.

“Save it, Mulder.” She rose from the table before he could

reach her and disappeared into the kitchen. Mulder’s arms fell

to the table and he rested his head on them, letting out an

impatient sigh. He could hear Scully moving around the

kitchen, opening the refrigerator door. “Mulder? You want

dessert now?” she yelled from the kitchen.

“Awww, Scully, can’t we save the pie for later,” pouted Mulder,

not moving his head from where it rested. He had hoped the

story would have reminded Scully of the time _after_ dinner,

but apparently he had made her think of pie.

Scully returned from the kitchen with her hands behind her

back. “I didn’t say pie, Mulder…I said _dessert_.”

He raised his head to see Scully bringing her hands from behind

her back. In each hand, she had a can of whipped cream. A

huge grin formed on Mulder’s face.

“Come on, Mulder…I’ll race you to the bedroom…”

The End

Dark Meat

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Title: Dark Meat

Author: Martin Ross

Spoilers: None

Summary: Witches and ghosts and marauding turkeys. Yes,

it’s Thanksgiving.

Written for Virtual Season 12 with exclusive rights for two

weeks.

Category: Casefile; humor

Rating: PG-13 — adult language

Disclaimer: Mr. Carter and the gang own it; I just visit.

Morton County, Illinois

Thanksgiving

1:02 p.m.

Mulder stared with a tinge of horror as the corpse was

dissected. He’d seen this scene countless times before,

but this time, somehow, it was different, more disturbing.

“Note the exaggerated breast size,” the Morton County

medical examiner murmured, slicing through the tissue with

an artful diagonal incision. He dispassionately removed

sections. “Industry breeding and genetics efforts in recent

years have been focused on increasing breast size and

overall bird weight. This, of course, has resulted in

reduced reproductive capabilities and certain orthopedic

concerns…”

“Jack, I swear to God this is absolutely the last time you

will be allowed to carve a turkey in this house,” Sandi

Yerkes snapped, thumping her grandmother’s lace tablecloth

with a plump but well-manicured hand. “Bad enough last year,

when I caught you trying to weigh the gizzard.”

Jack Eisner snorted, granted his hostess a withering look.

“The liver. I was weighing the liver. Weighing the gizzard

would be a pointless exercise. Besides, you heard me offer

Dr. Scully the honors. Professional courtesy.”

Sheriff Ron Yerkes sighed. “How’s about we just rule this a

homicide and dig in, huh, folks?”

“Hey,” Bill Yerkes protested, adjusting his considerable

girth as Sandi’s grandma’s dining chair creaked in agony.

“What kind of crack was that, Ronnie?”

The sheriff held up his palms. “C’mon, Uncle Bill. Getting a

little sensitive here, aren’t we?” He turned to the federal

agents who were sharing his Thanksgiving table. “A gang of

PETA people came over from Peoria last week and had a sit-in

at Bill’s farm. They’re still put up at the Days Inn,

waiting for the next slow TV news day.”

“Yeah, have a good yuck, Sandi,” Uncle Bill bristled.

“Damned animal rightists — care more about some dumb bird

than an honest man trying to feed his family.”

“Actually,” Mulder interjected in a familiar manner that

elicited a silent groan from his partner across the table,

“turkeys exhibit a very complex group intelligence,

including fairly sophisticated communicational capabilities.”

“This is lovely flatware,” Scully chimed in.

“Sorry, Ronnie, Sandi,” Uncle Bill rumbled, chin inclined

toward the table. “This Atkins horseshit has me kinda tense,

I guess. And those PETA assholes.”

“Bill,” the slight woman at his side gasped. Charlene

Yerkes was elegantly put together, with apricot hair and

rings on every finger. “Watch your mouth. And this diet is

for your own good.” Charlene turned from her husband.

“Bill’s lost 23 pounds so far, just by cutting carbs.”

“Like to lose about 132 more pounds, but my nephew’s the

sheriff,” Uncle Bill grumbled petulantly.

“Maybe if you’d eat something besides turkey all the time,”

Aunt Charlene chided. “Roast turkey, fried turkey, BBQ

turkey, turkey hash, turkey Jello if I didn’t draw the line.

All washed down with homemade wine. No wonder you have to

drink a gallon of warm milk every night just to get to

sleep.”

“It’s the only way I can get through this carb crap and

your bitching,” he countered, righteously.

“Can I leave now?” All eyes moved toward the magenta-haired

girl in the corner. Alecia Yerkes had been silently studying

the adults around the table, like some Bergmannesque goth-

girl specter of Death.

“How about we eat first?” Sheriff Yerkes suggested dryly,

clearly accustomed to his daughter’s monotoned complaints.

“Looka that,” M.E. Eisner exclaimed. All eyes again turned

to see the beaming pathologist displaying a plate of thick

tissue sections and artfully dismembered appendages.

“Agent,” Sandi inquired. “As you’re our guests, I wonder if

you wouldn’t mind saying grace to begin the meal.”

Scully turned a snort into a cough. Mulder glared across the

side dishes.

“I’d be honored,” he said, beaming beatifically. Scully’s

amused expression morphed into abject terror. “Now, if we

could all assume the position of prayer…”

“Whatever,” Alecia sighed.

Around the table, heads bowed, and Mulder’s eyes closed. “On

this hallowed and, uh, revered Thanksgiving Day, we the people

thank God or whatever cosmic force may rule the universe

for providing this bounty which with thine own blessing we

intend to partake, er, upon.

“As we sup upon this bounty that thou has provided for our

nourishment, we shall not forget the sacrifices made by our

forefathers — and foremothers, of course — who came to

this sweet land of liberty only to endure harsh winter

weather and face new bacterial and viral strains to which

they had built no immunity, as well, I’m sure, as a host of

food allergies and sensitivities owing to the bounty of

native but foreign vegetation thou provided for their

sustenance.”

Sandi Yerkes opened one eye, curiously, then reassumed the

position of prayer. Alecia leaned back in her chair,

fascinated.

“And we thank thou, thee, for this magnificent bird,

ritually slaughtered so that we may give thanks for the

amber waves of grain which thou hast endowed upon us.

May we appreciate the sacrifice this noble creature has

made each time we see a flock of gobblers against the

autumn sky…”

“Turkeys don’t fly–” Uncle Bill protested before giving up.

“And so shall we enjoy this feast, with malice toward none

and charity at home. Amen.”

The table was silent for a moment. “Amen,” Ron blurted

hastily, and his family and friends chimed in.

“Just lovely, this flatware,” Scully murmured.

**

“How’s your mom, Scully?” Mulder asked as his partner folded

her cell phone.

Scully sighed, leaning against the newel post of the Yerkes’

carpeted stairway. “Thank God Cousin Grace invited her to

come up for the holiday. It would’ve been a lot tougher on

her, first with Bill, and then with us being held up here.”

Mulder and Scully had hoped to return to D.C. two days

earlier, but complications had arisen in the Heartland

Thresher case even after the Bible-spouting serial killer

had been apprehended on the banks of the Illinois River.

“Well, Uncle Bill is comatose on the couch. Coroner’s taking

up the recliner. Ron’s trying to hear the Lions game over

Bill and Jack’s snoring and gastric rumblings. Sandi and

Charlene are in the kitchen, scraping cranberry-and-dressing

caulk off that love-ly flatware you were so enamored with.

Little Alecia’s up in her room, no doubt preparing a

Black Mass. And I think there’s still a recliner with my

name on it…”

“Oh, no,” she said, grabbing his forearm. “You are not

leaving me alone with the ‘gals.’ You were the one who

jumped at the sheriff’s invitation.”

“Dana, Fox?” Aunt Charlene sang from the living room. “Who

wants to be my euchre partner? Or are you canasta people?”

“Oh, yeah,” Scully muttered, petite fingers stretching

Mulder’s sweater. “You aren’t going anywhere.”

In the main room, Charlene was attempting unsuccessfully to

rouse her husband. “It’s euchre time, Bill. You’re going to

sleep through all the fun!”

Uncle Bill’s rasping snore only increased in volume. Dr.

Eisner affected a theatrical snore of his own, and the

sheriff cranked up the game. Ron jumped as his walkie-talkie

erupted on the lamp/table next to his avocado recliner.

“What you got?” he snapped into the radio.

“It’s me, Ted,” the voice was nasal and apprehensive. “We

got a disturbance out at Paul Cremone’s place. Might say

kind of a hostage situation.”

Ron’s footrest slammed into place as his socked feet hit the

carpet. “Family thing? Paul get shit-faced again?”

“No,” the deputy drawled.

“Well, what the hell is it like?” Ron roared. “Oh, crap;

just hang tight and I’ll be right over.”

Aunt Charlene appeared distraught as the sheriff slipped on

his uniform parka. “So you’re out this hand?”

“Sheriff?” Mulder inquired, hopefully, avoiding Scully’s

gaze. “Ron? You want some backup? It sounds like a

potentially risky situation.”

“Saddle up,” Ron invited, admitting a blast of late fall air

into the overheated house.

“Mulder,” Scully said through her teeth.

“I know, be safe,” he nodded briskly. Mulder grinned at the

sheriff. “Women, huh?”

**

The first thing Mulder noted was the crowd packed about the

Cremone farmstead, stretching from the wide, railed front

porch to the navy blue Harvestore bin towering over the

poultry houses.

“Looks like Woodstock by way of George Orwell.”

Sheriff Yerkes crunched to a stop on the berm beyond the

Cremone driveway, surveying the white sea of turkeys. “Much

as I’d love to show off my University of Illinois education,

I’m more of a Hitchcock kind of guy, Agent.”

Mulder shoved open the passenger’s door and strode around

the unit. Hundreds of wattled, beady-eyed heads turned

simultaneously toward him, and a tidal wave of feathers

rippled toward him, accompanied by an eerie, almost

ritualistic group warble. “Whoa,” the agent exclaimed,

slamming himself back inside the sheriff’s car.

Yerkes grinned. “Spooky, huh? They’re like that — like ants

or termites. Like they’re all operating with the same mind.”

“I read where groups of eight or ten birds will participate

in a kind of chase during where they’ll run at each other,

then dodge suddenly,” Mulder said.

“You done profiling these birds?” Sheriff Yerkes asked.

“Just saying, they’re not as stupid as they look,” Mulder

explained weakly.

As the flock turned as one toward the lawmen, Yerkes shoved

his door open and strolled to his deputy’s unit, on the other

side of the drive. Deputy Ted was huddled in the front seat,

nursing a hand wrapped in what appeared to be a bloodied

muffler. Yerkes sighed and motioned for him to roll his

window down. Ted vigorously shook his head.

“Dammit, Ted,” Ron shouted. He depressed the button on

walkie-talkie, and the deputy jumped as the radio on his

passenger seat beeped. Ted pressed it to his face. “What the

hell happened to you, Ted? Paul drunk? He take after you?”

“It was them.” Even though the walkie-talkie static, Ted’s

voice was filled with terror. “They did this to me when I

tried to go up to the house. We need back-up, Ron.”

“I brought the damned FBI with me.” Ron chewed his lip,

then reluctantly unsnapped his holster. “Crap, Agent. I

guess we’re going in.”

**

Official play had been suspended early on when Charlene and

Sandi fell into heated debate over “freezing the deck” – an

issue that apparently bore the global significance of the

Kyoto Agreement on Climatic Change. Uncle Bill had settled

into a low rumble of somnambulistic white noise.

“I know you had those rules with the cards,” Charlene

fretted, rooting through a side board near the now-silent

TV. “You need a system, like index cards…”

“Hell, I went to a convention in Vegas, and they didn’t

have anywhere near the kind of gear you see on the show,”

Dr. Eisner ranted. “And let me assure you, none of the CSIs

there looked like that Helgenberger chick.”

“Charlene, just sit down,” Sandi breathed. “Let’s just play

it your way.”

Aunt Charlene froze, her angular jaw dropping. “It’s no fun

if you don’t follow the rules.”

“What they oughtta do,” Eisner thumped the table, “what they

oughtta do is CSI:Peoria. Sure, we don’t have serial

killers – well, ‘sides the Thresher, but those network guys

are missing a bet. Bunch of puffed-up Hollywood…” Eisner

again thumped the table.

Scully’s iced tea, dosed to near-saturation with Equal, had

edged closer to the table’s edge with each thump, and as the

coroner drove home his point about CBS and its staff, the

plastic tumbler toppled into her lap. The combination of

Sandi’s shriek and a lapful of ice yanked Scully back to the

land of the living.

“Jack!” Sandi yelled, running for paper towels. Dr.Eisner

stared dumbly at the brown liquid dyeing Scully’s jeans

and the beige carpet, then pulled a monogrammed

handkerchief from his polyester sports coat.

“No!” Scully gasped and shrank back as he loomed toward her.

“Thanks, Doctor, but I’m fine, really. Mrs. Yerkes, where’s

your restroom?”

“Upstairs, Hon, second door,” Sandi cooed. “I am just sooo

sorry, Agent!”

“Not at all,” the sodden Scully assured her, escaping to the

hallway. She took the stairs two at a time, and closed the

bathroom door firmly. She sat on the pink plush toilet lid

and set to work on the tea stain.

In the end, Scully looked like the stylishly casual victim

of extreme incontinence, but her jeans were again uniformly

blue. The special agent took a deep, cleansing breath,

grasped the wobbly doorknob, and re-entered the Yerkiverse.

“No, no. Aces are 20 points,” Charlene insisted downstairs.

Scully steeled herself and started down the hall.

Only to come face to face with the girl. Or at least half a

girl, for the smiling Jesus painting at the end of the

upstairs hall was visible through her red-checkered blouse.

Scully froze, and the girl walked toward her, an oblivious

grin on her pretty blonde face. She wore white Capri pants,

like the kind Laura Petrie made famous, and her hair was in

a ponytail. A mole was anchored at the corner of bee-stung

lips. Late teens, early twenties, the agent ventured, her

heart pounding

Then the girl walked through Scully, and after a split-

second, the petrified redhead spun to see the apparition

stroll through the plaster and lath at the other end of the

corridor.

“Don’t worry.” Scully jumped, then spotted Alecia leaning

against her bedroom door jamb. “She won’t hurt you.”

**

“I’m not into the satanic shit or anything,” the teen told

Scully. Alecia’s room was a study in bipolar eclecticism,

as if Jan Brady and Marilyn Manson had jointly supervised

the decorating. “It’s just, you know, this stuff, it makes

people leave me alone.”

“The woman,” Scully prodded gently.

Alecia flopped back on her black pom-pommed pillows. “Well,

I guess that’s my fault, kinda.”

“Your fault?”

The girl pursed her black lips and inhaled. “Yeah. See, I

summoned her.”

**

Mulder sucked at his palm, then wiped his mouth vigorously

with his sleeve as he contemplated where the turkey that had

bit him had been. He glumly examined his slashed and

shredded pants legs, and stared out the cruiser window.

Thousands of beady, impassive eyes stared back.

The sheriff sighed. “I’m thinking. I guess it’s time to call

the state boys, ‘cept those animal rights folks are still in

town, and we’d have every Peoria TV crew shooting every bird

we shoot.”

Ron peered out to see a large ripple in the sea of poultry.

The birds were shifting position. The wave then began to

move, away from the farmhouse and its terrified inhabitants,

around the sheriff’s and deputy’s cruisers, out toward

County Road 1250W.

“The hell…?” Ron muttered, craning backward in his seat.

“They’re heading west, Sheriff,” Mulder advised.

“Jesus. Toward town?”

The flock now well down the gravel road, Mulder cranked his

window down to peer in the opposite direction. “Sheriff, you

better alert the Econolodge, the Best Western, and the Motel

6 downtown. There’s a second wave coming.”

**

“I got to reading about wicca, you know, witchcraft?” Alecia

told Scully.

“I know,” the agent sighed.

“It can get pretty deadly out here in Hooterville, you know?

So me and my friends, we started playing with the Ouija board,

learning a few incantations and trying out a few spells. It

was supposed to be bullshit – you know, like to wish for

better grades or for one of the guys to notice us. And,

well…”

“Yes?”

“Well, I always liked Uncle Bill – he didn’t treat me like

some little dumbass kid, and he’d let me help out on the

farm sometimes. So I wanted to do something for him.”

“You saw how Aunt Charlene treats him. What a bitch – always

on his ass about his weight or what a failure he is. The

bank downtown turned him down for a loan last year – he wanted

to start his own turkey sausage business instead of growing on

contract for the mega-turkey company. Well, Aunt Charlene

like ripped him a new one, said the doctors all might think

he’s a big dreamer, but you couldn’t eat on dreams. Whatever

that means. So I wanted to do something to help Uncle Bill

feel better about his life, about himself. So I cast a

spell, with the help of some runes.”

Scully’s head was pounding. “To do what?”

Alecia looked apprehensive. “Nothing really horrible. Just

for Aunt Charlene to maybe just, you know, disappear, and for

Uncle Bill to find his true love.”

Scully’s eyes tracked to the hallway.

“I did want him to find somebody maybe just a little bit

older,” Alecia explained. “And alive. Duh.”

**

“So, you think Sabrina the Teenage Witch pulled one out of

her pointy hat?” Mulder posed, moving his cell phone to his

left ear and watching the hundreds of birds about 50 yards

ahead of Sheriff Yerkes’ creeping unit.

“Get real, Mulder,” Scully breathed. “Though Alecia swears

she’s never seen this apparition before she cast her

‘spell.’ God forbid I should ask, Mulder, but if this were a

‘true’ haunting, wouldn’t Patti Duke’s ghost have made her

presence known before now?”

“Unless some event has occurred that may have manifested

her. Maybe Alecia’s spell merely tore the tissue between our

plane and the ghost’s. You talked to the grownups about

this, yet?”

He could hear the heat of Scully’s sigh in his ear. “I guess

I was hoping to just stay up here in Alecia’s room until you

got back. What’s your course of action?”

“The suspects don’t seem to have spotted their tail yet. Me

and the sheriff’s gonna foller ’em into town, make sure

there’s no fowl play. Scully? Scully?”

Mulder shrugged, and pocketed the phone. “So, Ron, whatcha

think? What are they up to?”

“Damned if I know. The grain elevator’s downtown – you think

maybe they’re, I dunno, hungry? Yeah, I know. But you got

any better ideas, Agent?”

“We’re too far from Capistrano,” Mulder mulled. “By the way,

you don’t happen to remember any recent visitations at your

house, do you?”

The sheriff’s brow wrinkled as he eased ahead. “Just you

folks, and the doc.”

“No. I mean otherworldly visitations. My partner and your

daughter saw something strange upstairs. What appeared to

be the spirit of a young woman. Blonde, pretty, dressed

like she came out of an episode of Happy Days.”

“Doesn’t sound like any ghosts we’ve seen lately,” Ron

drawled.

“OK, OK. Let me put it to you this way: How long you been

policing around here?”

“Oh, since 1978 or so.”

“How about your predecessor, any of the older guys on the

force? Anybody ever mentioned any mysterious deaths back in

the early to mid-’60s? Any local girls go missing?”

Ron kept his eyes on the turkeys, pursing his lips in

concentration. “Boy disappeared in ’85, along with about

$10,000 in fast food receipts. A vanful of kids from Peoria

went into the lake back in ’71. But wait a minute, J. Edgar.

If there’s a ghost haunting my house, wouldn’t it have had

to have, well, bought the farm there?”

“Relax, Ron,” Mulder smiled. “I’m just trying to consider

all the possibilities. You don’t have any memory of a cute

little blonde Anne Francis clone…”

“What do you mean, Anne Francis?” The sheriff was suddenly

alert.

“My partner said she had a little mole in the corner of her

mouth, kinda like Anne Francis. You know, Forbidden Planet,

Honey West?”

It was Sheriff Yerkes’ turn for silence. “Nah,” he finally

murmured. “Too homely.”

“What?”

“Well, it’s just that Uncle Bill used to have the hots for

some gal back when I was a kid, before he married Charlene.

But she was a far sight from Anne Francis. Closer to Francis

the Talking Mule. Couldn’ta been her.”

“Why didn’t he marry her?” Mulder asked, leaning forward.

“Did she die mysteriously? Tragic accident on Dead Man’s

Curve? Blind date with some budding Norman Bates?”

“Afraid your theory just went south on you, Sherlock,” Ron

chuckled. “Saw her last weekend at the Peoria mall. Amy

Ogleson’s alive and well, and still looks like she needs a

bridle and a bag of oats.”

“Well, it was a-” Mulder perked and stared out his side

window. His finger waggled. “Sheriff, Ron. I think we just

hit the cross-town traffic.”

Yerkes’ head turned slowly to County Road 500N, a blacktop

which now was white with waddling, wattled birds…

**

“Agent Scully, why don’t you sit down?” Sandi cooed

solicitously. “I think we still have some of Charlene’s

tomato wine left.”

“I’m fine,” Scully hastily assured the group above Uncle

Bill’s low sawing. “I’m not saying I believe I saw a ghost,

but I did see something up there. Does the description I

gave you sound at all familiar?”

Scully looked to Aunt Charlene and Dr. Eisner, who likely

would have been the “ghost’s” contemporaries. Eisner

fingered his mustache, deep in memories. Charlene’s

sharp jaw was tight, and she looked pointedly away from

Scully.

“Ms. Yerkes?”

Aunt Charlene looked challengingly at the younger woman.

“You know, it sounds a little like, oh, you know, Amy

Ogleson,” Sandi said, snapping her fingers. “You went to

school with her, didn’t you, Charlene?”

Scully could hear Charlene’s jaw constrict.

“Yeah, yeah. In fact, didn’t Bill take Amy Ogleson to the

junior prom?” Sandi prattled on, oblivious to her husband’s

aunt’s tension.

The older woman rose stiffly from the couch. “Are we going

to play Canasta or not?”

**

“OK, so what, exactly?” Mulder absorbed Scully’s latest

intelligence as the Dumont city limits beckoned. “This is

like a makeover ghost? Sheriff Yerkes said this Ogleson

suffered a severe congenital beating with the ugly stick.”

“Sensitive, Mulder,” Scully said. “Aunt Charlene and Dr.

Eisner described Ogleson as some kind of femme fatale.

But ‘Sandi’ managed to dig out an old family album –

which, by the way, we are only halfway through – and I

have to concur that, at best, Amy Ogleson’s charm must

have rested in her personality.”

“Or maybe she put out… Scully?”

“I’m here. For the moment.” Scully’s voice was

glacial. “Clearly, this isn’t our woman. Unless…”

“I hear the cogs turning.”

“Unless Amy Ogleson had a sister. The mole could be a

hereditary trait.”

Mulder turned to the sheriff. “Amy Ogleson have a sister?”

“Only child,” Ron replied absently, watching worriedly as

the combined birds of eight local farms moved in one white

wave down the holiday-deserted Main Street. Deputy Ted had

surveyed the county to discover a mass poultryhouse-break.

“Only child,” Mulder informed Scully.

“Agent,” Ron said urgently.

“Gotta go,” Mulder said, ending the call. He squinted out

the front window. “It’s quiet.”

“Too quiet. They’ve stopped.”

That’s when Mulder heard the sound of breaking glass.

Another crash followed, and an alarm began to echo

through the metro business district.

“The bank! Aw shit!” Ron unholstered his weapon and threw

open the door.

“Sheriff!” Mulder yelled. “Wait up! Let’s get backup!” But

Yerkes already was approaching the mob of birds. Mulder

pulled his sidearm and pursued him.

But before he could reach the sheriff, Mulder’s shoe hit

a puddle of turkey guano, and the fed met the road. He

stumbled to his feet and craned for a peek of Sheriff

Yerkes.

“Ron!” he shouted. “Ron!”

A few thousand small, emotionless eyes suddenly turned in

Mulder’s direction. He leveled his gun toward the birds.

A few dozen peeled off and began to advance. Mulder aimed

for the nearest bird, heart pounding. There was a feral

intelligence in the alpha tom’s beady little eyes that he

suspected would chill him toward Butterball products

for the foreseeable future.

And then the wave turned. Mulder kept the gun at shoulder

height as the advancing force flowed back into the sea of

turkeys and the sea ebbed toward the other end of town. A

trio of monolithic grain elevators towered over the Town

Hall, a minimart, and a Days Inn at the western edge of

Dumont.

“Hey!” a weak voice echoed. “You wanna pull your jaw back

in, get your thumb out of your ass, and get over here?”

Sheriff Yerkes was sitting against a lamppost before the

First National Illinois Community Union Bank, nursing a

bleeding ankle. His clothes looked like something from the

Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue for homeless-wannabe teens —

the gangsta gobblers had pecked and tore the fabric from

calf to midsection. Mulder knelt beside the lawman.

“You OK?”

“Like the man said, it’s just my pride,” Ron groaned.

“What was that all about?” Mulder asked.

Ron grunted to his feet. “Look in the front window of the

bank.”

Mulder crunched through broken glass, turkey shit, and

feathers to the now shattered plate glass window. A half-

dozen corpses littered the carpeted lobby floor, and every

surface — every counter, desk, chair, and promotional sign

— was festooned with turkey leavings.

“They attacked the bank,” the agent murmured, swiping his

disheveled hair back. “What are they? Socialist poultry?”

“I don’t know,” Ron said, low and apprehensive. “But

they’ve located a new target.”

“The elevator? You think they want to feed?”

“I look like the Lord of the Flock? Jeez, all I wanted

this afternoon was my game and a snooze in front of the

tube. Usually, turkey helps put me to sleep, not flat

on my ass.”

Mulder started to formulate a witty comeback, then clamped

his mouth shut and studied the carnage about him,

formulating a theory…

**

“She’s pissed off,” Sandi fretted. “Whenever she’s in a

snit, she makes sandwiches.”

Dr. Dana Scully, forensic pathologist, University of

Maryland physics major, special agent, considered the query.

“I dunno,” she finally shrugged. “Why’s your aunt so piss–,

er, miffed, anyway? This woman is clearly no threat in

her present state. Whatever that is.”

Sandi pulled Scully away from the kitchen doorway and the

sounds of furious sandwich-making. “See, Amy Ogleson was

Uncle Bill’s dream girl, you might say. She was funny,

smart, and pretty. Him and Aunt Charlene have had a rough

patch these last 40 years or so, and when Bill gets a

snootful, he tends to talk about what might’ve been. So,

you think that ghost is her? Amy Ogleson back to haunt

him? Or Charlene?”

“I dunno.” The ringing of her cell phone saved Scully

further academic embarrassment. “Scully. Yeah, how goes the

flock?”

“We been slimed, and I’m afraid this could get ugly real

quick. The rogue turkeys may be heading for the motel at

the end of town, and it looks like the lot’s pretty full.

They just trashed the bank.”

Scully frowned. “Well, that oughtta make at least one person

here happy. If he ever rises from the dead.”

The line went silent for a moment. “What do you mean,

Scully?”

Scully took a breath, and related Uncle Bill’s problems

with the lending community. More silence.

“Scully,” Mulder finally said, “what do you know about

tryptophan?”

His partner slipped into professional mode. “Tryptophan.

It’s an essential amino acid and a precursor of serotonin.

Tryptophan supplements can help suppress the appetite for

carbohydrates and raise blood sugar.

“Tryptophan’s also beneficial in treating some forms of

schizophrenia. And, yes, as I’m guessing you’re really

wanting to know, it’s the compound in turkey and other

foods that promotes drowsiness.”

“It’s not the only thing,” Mulder retorted. “What about the

side effects? What happens if you OD on tryptophan?”

“OD on trytophan?”

“Headaches, sinus congestion,” a drowsy voice drifted from

the armchair. Dr. Eisner opened one eye. “It can jam you up

something awful, too. Oh, and too much tryptophan can screw

with sleep patterns something awful. Give you some

hellacious nightmares.”

“Constipation and hellacious nightmares,” Scully translated.

“Mulder, just what are you–?”

“Agent Scully!” Sandi Yerkes suddenly screamed.

“Agent Mulder!” Scully heard Ron Yerkes shout.

Sandi, braced in the kitchen doorway, was white-faced.

“Agent Scully, I think she’s choking!”

The phone fell to the carpet, and Scully rushed into the

kitchen. Aunt Charlene was sitting against the dishwasher,

gasping like a grounded carp and roughly five shades more

blue than she normally would be.

“She was only eating my Cranberry Jello Dream,” Sandi

whispered ineffectually as Scully began performing the

Heimlich.

“It’s not working,” Scully panted after about three minutes

of the procedure. “Dr. Eisner!! Get in here!” She was

answered by an abrupt snort from the living room. A rumpled

coroner appeared in the doorway.

“Kee-rist,” he yelped. “You tried the Heimlich?” The agent

nodded vigorously. “Airway must be completely blocked and

constricted. Sandi, you call 911! Agent, find that turkey

thermometer and some isopropyl.”

“Thermometer?”

He looked up bleakly, a bead of sweat rolling down his broad

pink forehead. “You have done a tracheotomy before, haven’t

you, Doctor?”

“Once,” Scully stammered.

“Well, that’s one up on me. Let’s move!”

**

“Scully!” Mulder yelled, growing frantic. “Scully!!”

“What happened?” Ron demanded, ignoring the flock now

swarming across the Days Inn lot. “What’s going on, damn

it?”

“Your Aunt Charlene,” Mulder breathed. “I think she’s

choking.”

“God!” The sheriff sprinted for his unit, for the radio.

“Ron!” the agent shouted. “Sheriff! The bank – the ones the

turkeys trashed. Was it the one that turned your uncle down

for his turkey processing loan?”

“Yeah!” Yerkes snapped from the passenger side of the

cruiser. “So what?”

“Those animal rights activists? Are they still at the motel

here?”

“Sure, yeah!” Ron keyed his radio.

“Wait, wait,” Mulder implored. “One last thing. How’s your

Uncle Bill feel about Dumont?”

“What? You are nuts…”

“No. What’s his feeling about this town?”

Ron gaped at the FBI agent. “With the yuppies moving in from

Peoria, the town’s been trying to annex more of the outlying

farms, close ’em down. The county’s trying to regulate the

turkey guys outta business. Of course, he hates this town.

Bill told me last week he felt like the community has crapped

on him–.”

The sheriff halted, staring first at Mulder, then at the

turkey-soiled streets of Dumont…

**

“You have to be very careful here,” Dr. Eisner murmured, his

fingers twitching. “You don’t want to nick an artery or

break the hyoid.”

Scully wiped sweat from her forehead as she positioned the

pointed end of the turkey thermometer over Charlene’s

cyanotic throat. The woman’s eyes were bulging, and she

gurgled in dry, rasping terror.

“Scully!!” It was a small, tinny, fuzzy voice. Mulder’s voice.

“Take the pill! TAKE THE PILL!!”

She then remembered dropping the phone. Scully tried to tune

out her partner’s voice as she prepared to incise Aunt

Charlene’s throat.

“TAKE THE PILL!! SCULLY, TAKE THE PILL!!!”

Scully held up a quieting palm, then, thermometer in hand,

crawled on her knees toward the phone nestled in the thick

living room carpet.

“…THE PILL, SCULLY. TAKE THE PILL!!”

“What pill, Mulder?” Scully yelled, reaching for the

instrument. She clapped the phone to her ear.

“WAKE UP BILL, SCULLY!” Mulder repeated, clearly now. “For

God’s sake, wake up Uncle Bill!!”

Washington, D.C.

One year later

“So that’s why we’re feasting on General Tso’s chicken

instead of Butterball’s finest,” Arthur Dales exclaimed,

slapping the red-and-gold tablecloth before him.

“You can understand why we might feel like a little less

traditional Thanksgiving celebration this year.” Mulder

smiled at the father of the X-Files as he poured him some

more plum wine. Scully had suggested a less celebratory

beverage choice for the elderly ex-agent, but Dales had

cheerfully changed the topic and, well, it was the holiday.

“But the birds,” Dales murmured.

“Within a minute or so of Scully shaking Uncle Bill back to

consciousness, the flock started dispersing. We had to get

about three dozen turkey wranglers to help round them up

and sort them out by farm, and I hear the town paid a

whopping bill to clean the place up, but the PETA people

were spared a merciless pecking.

Mulder sipped his tea. “That’s what made me realize what was

going on. The same force, the same consciousness, dispatched

a flock of turkeys to dispatch a coven of vegans while

blitzkrieging the local bank and soiling the town that was

trying to sh–”

“Mulder,” Scully warned.

“Yeah, anyway. And unless we were to embrace a ludicrous

twist of coincidence, we had to believe that same consciousness,

that same force, had manifested not only a woman with whom

the Yerkes had experienced some checkered past history, but

indeed an idealized version of that woman. The way Bill

had seen Amy Ogleson, remembered her. That’s when it clicked.

She was a dream. A very vivid dream.”

Dales thumped the table. “No!”

“Alecia’d told Scully Aunt Charlene had remarked that ‘the

doctors’ had called Bill a ‘big dreamer.’ Actually, Bill was

a vivid dreamer. One of those rare cases where an

individual’s dreams seem startlingly real. Now, if

tryptophan tends to disrupt or alter sleep patterns and

dreaming, then imagine if the dreamer had ingested mass

quantities of tryptophan over an extended period. After

Charlene cracked the whip on him, Bill forsook all carbs

and boosted his turkey intake to extreme levels. This

ill-advised diet, supplemented by cheap homemade wine,

contributed to his gastric distress and, combined with

Charlene’s nagging, to a raging case of insomnia. So he

gulped gallons of warm milk each night.”

“More tryptophan,” Dales said. “His bloodstream must have

been saturated with the stuff. Er, I assume the unfortunate

Uncle Bill was responsible for Aunt Charlene’s, um,

Predicament?”

“Not that we could ever prove,” Scully muttered. “We

couldn’t even bring him into court.”

“Give it a rest, Scully,” Mulder sighed. “He agreed to quit

turkey cold turkey, so to speak. And Bill and Charlene

finally reached an accommodation.”

“An accommodation?”

“Bill hooked up with the equine but affable girl of his

youthful dreams at a New Year’s Eve party a month later.

And Charlene is now the wife of the town coroner.”

Dales beamed. “Marvelous. And look – here comes our

Thanksgiving feast!

“Happy Thanksgiving! God Bless America!” Luan Yee,

proprietor of Happy Paradise Garden, yelled as he delivered

three platters of hot orange-glazed chicken and dressing

festooned with bamboo shoots and water chestnuts.

Mulder grabbed his sticks, but Dales coughed with dignity.

“Why don’t we honor the Great Benefactor responsible for

this evening of fellowship and food? Agent Mulder–?”

“Our father…” Scully began loudly.

The End

The Autumn People

THE AUTUMN PEOPLE

TITLE: The Autumn People

AUTHOR: Traveler

Feedback:: iluvxf@hotmail.com

RATING: PG-13 for a few nasty words

CONTENT: X-File, Angst, MSR and a little MT

SUMMARY: Mulder and Scully encounter a touch of evil and do a little soul searching in the heartland of America.

FEEDBACK: Always welcomed.

DISCLAIMER: 1013 and FOX own these characters.

DISTRIBUTION: Exclusive to VS!2 for two weeks. Please send me an email if you would like to archive elsewhere.

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INDIANA STATE ROUTE 45, 4:38PM

The constant droning of the tires had lulled her to sleep

miles ago. She wasn’t sure what had possessed Mulder to

leave the interstate for these quiet Indiana back roads but

she could only look at so many miles of open farmland

before boredom overtook her and she drifted off. She knew

he was upset, choosing the constant noise of the classic

rock station that he’d selected on the radio instead of

conversation.

They’d come out here by invitation from a support group for

abductees, ‘alien abductees’ for whom Mulder had become

somewhat of an idol. When he couldn’t give them an answer

as to what he or the government were doing to stop the

invasion threat they all believed existed his golden imaged

had been forever tarnished.

Since the events of the last month they had tried to make a

life for themselves outside the X-Files. The fight still

raged on Capital Hill over the governments’ complicity in a

growing list of cover-ups but the policy of denial was

still in full force despite the equally growing number of

groups involved in blowing the whistle. The can of worms

Mulder had opened all those months ago was yet to make

anyone uncomfortable. Mulder’s credibility was beginning

to suffer, so much for public awareness.

And now these people who had experienced some of the same

frightening things she had, who only wanted someone to give

them faith that their voices would be heard had felt they’d

been let down by the very person they believed understood.

The Mulder she knew today was not that same impulsive,

driven, loner she had met all those years ago, demanding

answers by waving a gun and a badge. Dedicated as it were

to an endless search of truths he’d yet to find. He’d

grown up to face the stark reality that you didn’t always

get what you wanted and quite often it cost you more than

you gained. He’d come to realize that it wasn’t worth the

price. The heartache of the last ten years had brought

them together. They had each other but not much else and

somehow that seemed a hollow reward for all they had been

through.

The decisions they’d made in the past few months had left

him in a melancholy mood. She knew he enjoyed spending

time with her and her family but she could always sense his

loss of self-direction. The idea of leaving the Bureau had

given him cause for thought. Torn between wanting to head

his career in another direction and finding a purpose for

continuing their work she knew he found it hard to get

motivated these days. He told everyone he was between

careers. The one he spent living off his inheritance and

the one where he actually did something for a living. She

knew how he felt; her emotions were spent. The sudden

cessation of motion brought her awake.

Opening her eyes to the late afternoon sunshine she looked

first at why they had come to a stop and then at Mulder who

seemed to be engrossed in the scene spread out before them.

He had pulled the car of on the shoulder of a two-lane

road. Perched as they were on the top of a slight rise the

field below them was filled with wilted vines and hundreds

of golden pumpkins. The sun made the cloud filled fall sky

dark and foreboding despite the warm hues of the turning

foliage.

He sensed her awakening and tilted his head towards the

scene before them. “Will you look at that?”

“It’s a field of pumpkins Mulder,” she stated somewhat

annoyed, stretching to get the kinks out of her shoulders.

“Why have we stopped?”

Trying to lighten her mood he smiled slightly, “That’s got

to be the most sincere pumpkin patch I’ve ever seen.”

What did sincerity have to do with a field of pumpkins? It

was late afternoon, they were in the middle of nowhere USA

and she ached from having fallen asleep buckled into the

seat of yet another in a never ending supply of Ford

Taurus’. Is that all rental agencies furnished these days?

Angrily she let him have it. “What the hell are you

talking about?” It made him flinch.

“Geez, Scully, you’ve never seen THE GREAT PUMPKIN?”

Oh, please, she thought, some people never grow up. But

she decided to play along. “Please don’t tell me we’re

going to spend the night in that pumpkin patch waiting for

the Great Pumpkin?”

“I saw a sign for a Bed and Breakfast a few yards back,

it’s your choice.” He put the car in drive but didn’t take

his foot off the brake.

Some choice she thought to herself, but a bed and hot water

sounded much more appealing. Mulder could sleep in the

pumpkin patch if he wanted to. They do have hot water out

here don’t they? “Where are we?”

“Needmore.”

“You’re kidding right?”

“Come on, Scully, this is the heartland of America, the

stuff you miss flying by at 70 miles per hour on the

Interstate or soaring over at thirty-five thousand feet.”

“And we need to stop here because? If we’d stayed on the

Interstate we’d be in Indianapolis by now. Don’t we have a

flight to catch?” Even to her own ears she sounded bitchy.

“I cancelled our flight,” he stated too matter-of-factly

turning the wheel and giving the car a little gas. Damn,

how long had she been asleep? As he eased the car back

onto the road she took in the dreamy look he still seemed

to have. Almost like he’d been asleep too, or lost in his

own thoughts for all these miles.

“Mulder, what’s wrong?”

He turned, almost too suddenly, a defensive motion.

“Nothing!” he bit his lip when she flinched. “Not a damn

thing.” Then he reached over to pull her left hand into

his and let out a long sigh of frustration, then a gentle

smile curved his lip. “I seem to remember a conversation

in a car with you once before…something about stopping the

car. I thought we should stop.” Despite the caress he

placed on the back of her hand, he turned back to the road

just as quickly.

“If I remember correctly, that didn’t turn out too well.”

“Yeah, well, maybe it just wasn’t the right place or the

right time,” he said, pulling his hand away and gripping

the wheel a little too tightly. Time, something they never

seem to have enough of just for themselves. Giving the car

a little gas he eased it back onto the road, Scully settled

into her seat her gaze coming to rest on her partner. They

were still partners weren’t they? Their relationship had

grown so much over the past couple years but to define what

they now were to each other was almost impossible to

categorize.

Less than a mile down the road a small sigh appeared

welcoming them to Needmore, Indiana. There was obviously

something needful in Mulder’s desire for them to stop here.

Whether it was fatigue, the futility of their situation or

a need for some personal redemption she wasn’t sure. What

she was sure of however, as the sun disappeared behind the

fall clouds was the sudden chill she felt as they headed

into town.

DOWNTOWN NEEDMORE

It occurred to them as they drove through the center of

town that they had driven though some sort of time warp and

ended up in the 1940’s. Needmore, Indiana had a small

village square surrounded on three sides by dated

brownstone store fronts. On the forth side sat a town hall

and what appeared to be a library. A couple of older

vehicles sat in front of a diner on the corner across from

the town hall. The cloudy evening made it all look that

much more depressing. “You said you saw a sign for a bed

and breakfast?”

“Yeah.” What he hadn’t told her was that the sign had been

so weathered it was hardly readable. “Right before I

pulled off the road, it said Main Street.”

“Well, there are no other streets Mulder. This has got to

be Main Street.”

Despite the well-kept appearance of the square, dry leaves

scurried down the street in bunches, gathering in empty

doorways, there were very few shoppers. Scully rolled down

her window at the site of a couple of gentlemen who had

emerged from the barber shop, complete with turning barber

pole as they came to an intersection. A blast of frigid

fall air gusted into the window surprising her. “Excuse

me,” the three men turned at the sound of her voice. “Can

you tell us where the…” she turned to Mulder. “What was

the name of the place, anyway?”

“Need More Rest, I think it said.”

She stared at him a moment in disbelief, should she scream

now and scare these poor gentlemen to death or do it in the

privacy of the car after she rolled the window back up?

Turning back to the gentlemen she casually asked, “Can you

tell us where the Need More Rest Bed and Breakfast is?”

Deciding she’d kill Mulder for this later.

“That’s Alice’s place,” the one man dressed in coveralls

and a barn jacket and leaning on a cane replied. Another

man in their party, an older gentlemen, stepped up to the

window of the car. He wore a three piece suit and as he

leaned into the window pulled a pocket watch from his vest

and popped it open. “It’s almost five, you’ll have to

hurry. She doesn’t take any guests after five o’clock.

The house is two blocks down on the right.”

“Thank you,” they both said in unison.

Mulder pulled away from the curb as Scully pushed the

button for the window enclosing them both in the warm of

the car. Two blocks from the square they came to a sign in

front of a huge gray Victorian home covered in white

gingerbread trim. The yard was full of whimsical yard art

and whirligigs. They pulled into the driveway and Mulder

cut the engine, leaning into Scully’s space as she turned

to take in the house before them. “Welcome to Wonderland,

Scully.”

“If the Queen of Hearts comes out that door Mulder, we’re

leaving.” He chuckled and popped the door. The wind

swirled and lifted his overcoat before he could wrap it

snugly around himself. He buttoned it quickly and came

around the car to accompany Scully up the stairs of the big

house. The huge porch looked much the same as the yard

did; filled with baskets of waning flowers and knick-

knacks. A swing at the end swayed with the stiff breeze.

Scully wrapped on the door as Mulder turned the knob to

find it unlocked. Bells jingled from the top of the door

as they both stepped into the foyer. “Hello,” Scully

called out.

The foyer extended into a hallway that appeared to reach

all the way to the back of the house. To their right was a

beautiful ornate staircase leading to the second floor. On

their left were French doors that led to a sitting room.

“Hello”, they both called this time but there was still no

reply. Mulder was about to make his way down the hallway

when they heard the jingle of a bell and someone stomping

their feet. An elderly woman’s voice echoed from the back

of the house. “Just a moment, I’ll be right in.”

A few moments later they were greeted by a collie mix dog

followed closely by a tall elderly woman in a long denim

dress. “Maggie, sit!” she commanded to the dog.

“Goodness, I was out in the yard and noticed your car in

the drive,” she apologized pushing up the sleeves of her

dark green sweater. “What can I do for you folks?”

“We’d like a room, actually, Mulder said. My name is Fox

Mulder; this is my–friend Dana Scully. I saw your sign

down the road.”

Alice’s hand flew to her chest, she seemed a little

flustered. “Oh, my, yes, I haven’t had any quests it quite

some time.”

“If this in inconvenient for you,” Scully said. “We can be

on our way.”

The woman seemed to hesitate for a moment. Taking in their

smart attire, she was sure this couple was not just out for

a weekend drive. She had heard Mulder hesitate when he

mentioned his lady friend, like he wasn’t sure what to call

her and yet there was something in his voice, in the

hopeful way he had asked about the accommodations and

besides, Maggie seemed to sense this tired looking

gentleman was asking for more than a room for the night.

“Oh, no, no, I’m sorry, my name is Alice Halloway; you’re

very welcome to stay. Please, just give me a few minutes

to get a room ready.”

As she started up the stairs she turned to them once more.

“Will you want one or two rooms?”

“One will be fine,” Scully replied and Alice disappeared up

the stairs with Maggie close on her heels.

Scully stepped into the large sitting room as Mulder went

out to the car to get their bags. Glancing about the room

she decided they were definitely stuck in the forties. The

furnishings in the room were just as Victorian as the house

itself. Mulder wouldn’t be spending any time punching a TV

remote tonight, there was none. Everything in the room

looked perfect, like no one had used it for a very long

time. There wasn’t a speck of dust anywhere. Suddenly she

heard someone calling her name and walked back to the

hallway. “Miss Scully?” Alice called from the top of the

stairs. Scully approached the bottom of the beautiful

staircase and looked up. “I’m sorry; I was just admiring

your sitting room.”

“The room is ready if you’ll come up I’ll show you around.”

Mulder pulled their garment bags from the trunk of the car

and turned to go back into the house. He stopped abruptly

when he found himself face to face with a tall dark skinned

man with a neatly trimmed beard and sporting a black

waistcoat and tall hat. He had dark eyes and a mystical

quality to his voice when he spoke. “Mr. Mulder, my name

is Alvin Dark,” he said, extending his hand for Mulder to

shake. Mulder hesitated a moment as he felt the hairs on

his neck raise but put down his bag and shook Dark’s hand.

“I don’t believe we’ve met before Mr. Dark, how do you know

my name?” The handshake and the fact this man knew who he

was already made him feeling uneasy.

“I know everyone whose soul searches for redemption Mr.

Mulder.”

Mulder hesitated before replying. “I’m not sure I know

what you mean?”

“Yes you do, you’ve been thinking about it all the way

here,” he handed Mulder a flyer; it was a small poster for

a carnival. “You’ve been thinking about all the choices

you’ve made that have brought you here. All your failures,

the hurt you have caused, the people you’ve lost; but most

of all you think of the things you wish could change if you

could. I see the desire in you Mr. Mulder, the desire for

a life free from these burdens. Remove the darkness from

your soul and free those around you. Come and be amazed.”

Mulder took the flyer from Dark’s hand, DARK’S PANDEMONIUM

FAIR. Welcome to my hell, he thought to himself. “You

have no idea what I’ve been thinking Mr. Dark,” his tone

aggravated by the audacity of the man’s words. Stuffing

the paper into his pocket, he bent down to pick up his bag.

When he straightened up again, Dark had disappeared.

Alice had given them the first room at the top of the

stairs. She had shown Scully the bath across the hall.

Since there were no other guests at the moment they had it

all to themselves. She heard the door jingle again

downstairs. “Scully?”

“We’re up here, Mulder.”

As she heard him climb the stairs she stepped out of the

room to take her bag from him. He looked weary but he

smiled when she greeted him and followed her back into

their room. He set his bag on the floor. “Maybe we should

have asked for two rooms.”

The room was no larger than your average bedroom. There

was a large bay window in the front filled with what

appeared to be yards of lacey curtains that draped onto a

window seat. A Queen Anne chair upholstered in some dark

green fabric sat to its right in front of a dark mahogany

wardrobe. There was a small dresser with a mirror and a

four poster double bed that Mulder imagined he would

probably hang off of by at least a foot.

“The bathroom is down the hall,” Scully replied

“Look, maybe this really was a bad idea, we should just

go.”

“Mulder, we can’t, Alice has been so accommodating. She

asked what you liked for breakfast.”

“Breakfast is a long way off, I don’t think I can wait that

long.” Mulder looked away from her and began to rummage

through his bag.

Scully came over to touch his arm. “Find something casual

to wear. Alice said that little diner we passed is open

until nine we can walk back and get something for dinner.

Just give me a minute in the bathroom.”

He reached up and brushed the hair back from her face.

“It’s cold out there. Are you sure you want to walk.”

Kissing his palm she pulled away. “We’re getting out of

the car, remember?”

Fifteen minutes later they had been ushered out the door

with a key and Alice’s instructions to tell Mil at the

diner that they were staying with her. The brisk wind made

them walk fast and in a few short minutes they were outside

the diner. Mulder paused for a moment when another of

Dark’s carnival posters pasted to a light pole caught his

eye. ‘Change all the things you could change if you

could…’ Dark’s eerie voice coming back to him. Yes, he’d

change a lot.

Scully had stopped a few yards up the sidewalk when she

realized she was walking alone. Turning around, he seemed

to be gazing into space. “You coming?”

“Um…what?”

“I thought we came here to eat?”

“Yeah,” Mulder answered distractedly. “I’m coming.”

Another poster appeared pasted to the back of the cash

register on the counter as they entered the diner. Inside

the tiny restaurant time seemed to stop. A few patrons who

were seated at the counter turned as they came in. Those

who were seated in the booths at the windows all looked

their way. They both felt very self-conscious.

“Mil, these folks are stayin with Alice, you fix them up

something nice,” a voice boomed from behind them and they

both turned to see one of the gentlemen they had asked

directions from earlier. Mulder nodded a thanks.

“Oh, yes, of course,” the busty woman from behind the

counter grabbed two menus out of the pocket by the register

and tugged Scully with Mulder following to an empty booth.

Small town grapevine, news evidently had traveled fast.

“It’s kinda late, but you folks pick out whatever you’d

like, it’s no trouble.”

Mulder looked up at the list of specials scrawled in chalk

on the board over the counter. “You still have some of the

meatloaf special?”

“Oh, yes, town favorite,” Mil replied with a grin.

He glanced at Scully, “We’ll have two of those and some

coffee.” He handed her back the menus.

“That’ll just take a few minutes; I’ll get you some

coffee.”

The coffee came, warm and rich. Scully decided that if the

meatloaf tasted half as good as the coffee, she wouldn’t

mind eating it. Mulder was quite, deep lines under his

eyes told here how weary he was. At the moment he seemed

to be engrossed in something over her left shoulder. She

glanced in the direction he was looking but saw nothing

that would appear to have earned so much attention.

“Where are you, Mulder?”

His eyes came back to hers. “You like carnivals Scully?”

He gestured with his chin to whatever he’d been looking at

over her shoulder. When she turned again she saw the

poster he’d been studying. “What do you say we hang around

for a day?”

“Dr. Blockhead, Jim Jim the Dogfaced Boy, we went to a

carnival once Mulder.”

“No, actually we INVESTIGATED a carnival; we’ve never been

to one.” Their dinner appeared in front of them, two

heaping plates of meat and potatoes. Evidently Mil thought

they needed to be fattened up. Scully reflected back to

‘The Enigma’ and decided she wasn’t so sure she wanted to

know why. The meatloaf was delicious.

Mulder had cleaned both their plates and partaken in the

free pumpkin pie for desert as Scully sipped on another cup

of coffee. She hadn’t really thought about it but neither

of them had eaten since the continental breakfast at their

hotel that morning. At least traveling on their own dime

had meant better accommodations. Leaving the diner the

wind was at their back as they headed back to Alice’s.

They passed an antique store that Scully decided she

wouldn’t mind investigating in the morning, a dry goods

store and the barber shop. It was as if this little town

had been lost in time several decades ago. It was quaint

but it gave her the chills.

Other than complimenting Mil on the meatloaf and inquiring

about the pie Mulder hadn’t said much over dinner. He

still had that ‘lost in thought’ look she’d seen on him

when she’d awakened in the car that afternoon. She wished

he’d talk to her about what was on his mind. They walked

along in silence until she felt his fingers curl around

hers. “A real step back in time isn’t it?”

“It’s very quaint Mulder, but I think I like living in the

present myself.”

There was another carnival poster in the barber shop

window. Mulder stopped in front of it dropping her hand.

“What has you so obsessed with these carnival posters?”

“I don’t know just a feeling that it’s something more than

just fun and games.”

“A feeling?”

He pulled the copy of the poster Dark had given him from

his pocket handing it to Scully.

She took if from him and read the bold print, DARK’S

PANDEMONIUM FAIR. “Where did you get this?”

“Dark gave it to me.”

“This Dark, of Dark’s Pandemonium Fair?” She asked pointing

to the name in bold print.

Mulder stuffed his hands back into his pockets, kicked at

some leaves that had gathered at their feet. “Yeah, you

know, disorder, chaos, the land of demons. He handed it to

me outside Alice’s when I went out to get the bags.” He

was facing the wind and squinted when it bit into his

flesh. His hair blew it all directions. Scully, sensing

his discomfort, slid her arm through his and turned him

around back in the direction of Alice’s and began to walk.

“What did he say to you?”

He looked away from her, up the street in front of them,

“He just invited me to hell.”

THE NEED MORE REST, 10:13 P.M.

By ten o’clock Mulder had paced for at least two miles back

and forth across their room. A man without a remote was a

restless thing. There wasn’t even anything he could get

comfortable sitting in and he obviously was no longer

tired. Visions of some things Scully could think of that

would tire him out came into her mind but neither of them

felt comfortable engaging in anything but a kiss within

Alice’s house. She tried desperately to read as he paced

but it was too distracting.

“Go for a run Mulder.” He stopped dead. Salvation.

She knew he had his sneaks, he’d worn them up to the diner

and she was sure there were some sweats in that bag of his

somewhere.

He stopped, his face brightening. “You don’t mind?”

“Change your clothes, take the key and just be careful of

the dark.”

His dress shirt flew off over his head. “I don’t think I

need to worry about traffic Scully.”

“Probably not, I just don’t want you to get side swiped by

a deer.”

Properly attired in his sweats he grabbed the key off the

dresser and sat down on the bed to tie it into the laces of

his right shoe. He leaned over and kissed her gently. “I

love you.”

“I love you too, now go and close the door.”

When he got to the bottom of the stairs Alice was seated in

the sitting room working on something on her lap. He was

surprised to find her still up.

“Anything I can get for you Mr. Mulder?” She started to

put her lap work to the side.

Mulder came to stand in the archway of the room. “I’m just

going out for a run. Scully-Dana’s upstairs reading.”

“So late you go for a run?”

Mulder chuckled, yeah, sounds nuts doesn’t it he thought to

himself. Alice got up and followed him to the door. “Do

you suppose Dana would like a cup of tea? I don’t get much

chance to chat with anyone.”

Mulder thought for a moment, glanced to the top of the

stairs and dumbly mumbled, “Yeah, I suppose you could ask

her.”

Alice touched his arm, sensing there was something that was

preoccupying his thoughts. “You be careful, it’s dark out

there.” He smiled a thanks, turned and opened the door,

pulling it closed as he stepped onto the porch. He heard

her lock the door behind him.

Mulder stood at the top of the porch steps thinking only

what a fool he was standing out here in the cold and not up

snuggled with Scully in that tiny bed. Heavy clouds

covered the sky illuminated only slightly by distant

flashes of lightening. It seemed to have gotten colder or

maybe that was because he was out here alone.

He made his way down the steps, stretching when he hit the

walk and started off at a slow pace heading away from the

center of town. There were a few more blocks of houses

similar to Alice’s and then they started to thin out. As

he approached his jogging speed the homes had become larger

farm houses, the road lined with fences, the cold air made

his lungs burn. Off in the distance, across a field he

noticed a glow. It seemed to come from behind a line of

trees at the back of the field. Jumping the ditch along

the edge of the road he started to jog across the field,

oblivious to the darkness and the irregular footing he

stumbled several times. Scully would have his head if he

twisted an ankle or worse.

As he made his way closer to the tree line the faint sound

of what he swore was carrousel music made him slow to a

walk. He stopped at the tree line, trying to see through

them to what lay beyond in the adjacent field. His breath

came in frosty pants, the music grew louder. He could see

lights that appeared to outline an archway, maybe a Ferris

wheel and the tops of other attractions. He remembered

Dark, suddenly appearing behind him in Alice’s driveway

telling him to come and be amazed.

“Dana,” Scully heard her name followed by a light rapping

on the door to their room. “Dana, its Alice, would you

like some tea?” Scully closed her book; she hadn’t really

been able to concentrate on it since Mulder left. She’d

changed into some fleece herself and had dug the romance

novel Mulder had bought for her at the airport out of her

bag. Did he really think she read these things? Truth was

she did on occasion and he knew it. “Just a minute,” she

called, sliding off the high bed and padding across the

room to the door. She opened it to find Alice, dressed in

a flowery robe standing in the hallway.

“I hope I didn’t wake you.” Scully shook her head and

Alice smiled. “Your friend said you might like some tea.

I was wondering if you’d like to come down to the kitchen.”

Leave it Mulder to make her plans for her. Some things,

she had come to realize, would never change. “Yes, Mulder

always assumes I need tea before bed, that would be nice.”

“I’ll go down and put the kettle on, you come down when

you’re ready,” Alice said, reaching to pat her on the

shoulder in an understanding but not condescending way.

A few minutes later Scully wandered in to the large

kitchen. The kettle was already whistling and she could

smell baked apples. “I made some cobbler earlier, would

you like some?” Alice looked up from the pan she was

slicing into.

“Smells wonderful.”

“You just have a seat dear,” Alice replied as she busied

herself with cutting the cobbler. “I don’t get much chance

to visit with outside folk. Maybe you can tell me what

it’s like in the real world.”

Scully sat down at the big oak table and soon found herself

digging into a slice of Alice’s cobbler. Alice didn’t want

to know about the real world. From Scully’s vantage point

over the past several years it had been a frightening place

full of secrets and lies that most people would find to

impossible to believe. What was real were people like

Alice, going about their everyday lives; sometimes she felt

as if she and Mulder were the ones not living in the real

world.

“You two seem very professional. Where are you folks from

if you don’t mind me asking?”

Alice’s voice startled her from her thoughts. Scully

looked up and watched Alice as she poured their tea. She

looked like a woman who had spent her whole life in this

small town and it seemed to suit her just fine. “D.C.,

actually.”

“My, you’re a long way from home. I can’t imagine you had

this in mind as your destination when you came out here.

We don’t get many tourists as you probably guessed. Alice

smiled gently at Scully and set the tea on the table.

“Cream and sugar?”

Scully stirred the condiments into her tea. “We came out

here through an invitation from a support group for

abductees. I’m a doctor, Mulder’s field is Psychology. We

um, sort of have this standing joke about being in the car

all the time and I think he sort of fell for your small

town on our way through and we decided to stop and get out

of the car.”

“Abductees? Oh my,” Alice made a motion with her hand and

chuckled. “For a moment there I thought you were talking

about those silly alien abduction stories you see on TV all

the time.”

Scully looked across her tea cup at Alice. No, she would

not admit that was the reason they were here. She smiled,

“um no, not that type of abductee.”

“You two have been together a long time haven’t you?

You’re obviously very close but you’re not married?”

Scully smiled at the woman’s intuition. Not surprised by

the question. “No, we’re not married.” How do you explain

who you are to this gentle woman without giving away your

life story? “We’ve been through a lot. Life has a way of

eating you up if you try and take on more than your share

of the burden. I think we’re both ready to slow down a

little, maybe get a taste of this simpler life.”

Alice’s expression darkened a bit. “You know, most folks

who come through here think this is such a quaint place.

Like we’re all so much better off living a quiet life away

from the hectic world; like we’ve escaped into the past and

are content to stay there. This town has its secrets too

Dana. Would you like more tea?”

Before Scully could answer Alice had gotten up to retrieve

the kettle. “I’ve been the town librarian for almost

twenty-five years; seen a lot of things you wouldn’t think

happened in a place like this. As Alice poured more tea

she continued. “Most folks in a town like this spend their

whole life wishing they could be you.”

Scully looked a little surprised, if they knew, no one

would want to be her and Mulder. “What do you mean?”

“You know, thinking they could be better than they are.

Nellis Walker for instance, he walks around town in his

three-piece suit, owns the Dry Goods Store, always bragging

about how he’s gonna make all these investments. Don’t

know where the hell he thinks he gonna spend these riches

in a town like this. Big Jim Carter, he was going to play

for Notre Dame until an accident crippled him. He can

barely walk now but still talks about what a great player

he would have been. Then there’s Mil, the gal at the diner,

she was a gorgeous gal. Married Ron, always thought he was

God’s gift to women. I don’t know what made him buy that

damn diner. Mil’s spent her whole life on her feet waiting

on other folk, never had any family of her own.” Everybody

here wants to be something they’re not Miss Scully.”

“Do you have family Ms. Halloway?” Certainly this woman

hadn’t spent her whole life alone in this huge home.

Alice sighed, “Oh, my, Louis and I had four children. My

eldest died in Vietnam. The others have all gone out into

that hectic world of yours, I don’t hear from them much.”

“What about Louis?”

“Louis built me this beautiful home and gave me four

beautiful children but he always thought he hadn’t done

right by me for some reason. He was a dreamer, always

talking to me about the wonderful places he was going to

take me. He just never understood that I was happy right

hear with him. I lost him almost ten years ago-in an

accident.”

Scully reached over and patted Alice’s arm. “I’m sorry.”

A distant rumble of thunder shook the house and she looked

up at the kitchen clock. It was well after eleven. She

felt Alice take her hand. “You take care of that man of

yours. Don’t let the darkness take him from you.”

DARK’S PANDEMONIUM FAIR

Mulder was amazed when he cleared the trees and saw what

was before him. A huge Ferris wheel lit up the night sky.

A banner welcoming him to DARK’S PANDEMONIUM FAIR was

stretched between two towers advertising attractions like

the Maze of Mirrors and the Temple of Temptation. The

carrousel music continued to play, drawing him towards it

in an almost hypnotic manner. The wind picked up as he

entered the grounds, the sound intensifying like the

wailing of a thousand souls, it gave him the chills and he

wished not for the first time that he was back in that bed

with Scully.

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The music seemed to be coming from an enclosed tent just to

his left. As he parted the canvas he could see the

brightly lit carrousel. Four rows of exquisitely carved

horses continued all the way around and the whole carrousel

was trimmed in ornate brass. Dark stood at the controls in

the center and a man Mulder recognized from the diner, a

heavy set man who walked with a cane sat on one of the

outside horses. “Are you ready?” he heard Dark ask. The

man only nodded. Mulder watch in fascination as the

carrousel began to turn and then with puzzlement as he

realized it was turning counter-clockwise, backwards at an

increasingly more rapid speed. He continued to watch as

the horses, the man and Dark himself blurred into a sea of

color and noise. It made him dizzy and he clutched the

canvas of the tent to keep himself upright.

As the carrousel began to slow he found himself watching in

horror as the image of the man became clearer. He was no

longer the aged, crippled man that Mulder has seen sitting

there earlier. In his place was a small boy, dressed in

similar clothing.

When the horses came to a stop Dark approached the boy,

lifting him from the horse and placing him on the ground.

“There you are Jim. Did you enjoy the ride? I’m sure you

feel like you never have before.” He ruffled the boy’s

hair, looking up he stared straight at Mulder and they both

watched the boy run off into the carnival grounds.

Mulder’s instinct was to walk away but he found Dark’s

intense gaze held him in place until the man was once again

right in front of him. “I told you you would be amazed,

Mr. Mulder. Do you see what it can be like to be given a

second chance? You can have a whole new life Mr. Mulder,

free to make different choices than the ones which have

brought you here.”

“I don’t need another life Mr. Dark. I’m happy with the

one I have.” Mulder turned to leave but Dark grabbed his

arm and turned his hand over to place a ticket into his

palm.

“You say that Mr. Mulder but it is not what your heart

desires. You can ride whenever you like.”

Mulder pulled his arm away angrily. “Go to hell,” and

continued to walk away. As he neared the edge of the

carnival grounds he stopped, looking down at the ticket he

still clutched in his hand. He crushed it tightly but

couldn’t bring himself to toss it away. He finally stuffed

it into the pocket of this sweatshirt and began to run.

NEEDMORE BED AND BREAKFAST

Scully lay awake, listening to the distant rumbles of

thunder. Midnight had passed and still no Mulder. Certain

there were no dark conspiracies in this small town she was

beginning to wonder what ditch he had fallen into when she

heard the door jingle downstairs. The stairs creaked as he

climbed them quietly and shortly thereafter the water came

on and went off in the bathroom across the hall. The door

clicked open when he entered their room. She heard him pad

across the floor in his socks and then watched as he

stripped off his sweats in the dim light from the window.

He eased himself slowly down onto the bed and sat for a

minute collecting his thoughts. He sighed, “You’re awake,

aren’t you?”

Scully pulled the covers back motioning for him to join her

in the small bed. “Mulder, it’s after midnight, where were

you?”

“Running…”

“All this time?”

“Yeah, I guess–maybe trying to outrun my past.”

His answer startled her. He didn’t talk much about his

past anymore. Seeming to have come to terms with what had

happened to his family and himself some time ago he had

been focused on their future very much lately. Scully

pulled herself up, adjusting the thick pillow behind her.

“Mulder, something’s been bothering you since we got here,

talk to me.” He turned to her, lying himself down beside

her, fluffing the pillow behind his head and crossing his

arms behind it to raise himself up a bit.

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“I don’t know,” he said bitterly shaking his head. “I just

keep thinking we’ve never finished what we started. All

these years of searching and gathering what evidence we

could have really amounted to nothing. Nobody cares.”

“There are people who care, Mulder.”

“No they don’t,” he said with disgust. “Truth is, people

don’t want to know the truth, they don’t want to know what

the government is capable of behind their backs, or what

could threaten their lives from,” he tipped his chin up,

“Elsewhere. They’re much happier living in complete

oblivion like these people here. I can’t think like that

Scully.” She lay down next to him, propping her head up

with her left hand. “Mulder, oblivion is not what it’s

cracked up to be. Small towns have problems too.”

He turned to look her straight in the eye. “Not global

ones Scully; not ones that can change the course of the

world. What are we supposed to do, just pretend we don’t

know what we know; do nothing about it?”

She’d seen this coming. This storm she’d seen brewing deep

inside him, a raging flood of emotions that needed to be

released. You might change the course of a river but you

can’t take away the force behind it. She could see the

conflicting forces gathering right behind his eyes and it

was beginning to frighten her. “Mulder, what do you

propose to do? I will not let you become an army of one.”

“I didn’t say that! I-I don’t know what I want to do.”

Enraged one minute and subdued the next he closed his eyes,

“I know what this has all cost us. I think about it all

the time and I know…” He turned to face her again, “I know

you do too. I’m tired of the fight but I can’t bring

myself to walk away from it.”

“It’ not just our fight…” speaking softly, trying to calm

him she reached out and touched his arm.

“Then find me someone else who gives a damn, Scully! He

was angry again suddenly. She pulled her hand from his

arm. “There is so much going on out there in the world.

So much we know will continue to go on without any way of

stopping it. I’m just having a really hard time wrapping

myself around the fact that we don’t seem to be in any

position to do anything about it.”

“Mulder, why do you insist on making this hell for

yourself? Have you ever stopped to think that maybe you’re

not the ONE who’s supposed to do something.”

He sighed, turning to face her. “You know me better than

that Scully, I never stop to think.” He turned back to

look up at the ceiling. “I am what I am, Scully. And if

there are self-made purgatories, then we all have to live

in them. Mine can be no worse than someone else’s.”

“Is that what our lives have become for you, purgatory?”

Realizing what she thought he’d implied he turned to her

suddenly, a look of astonishment on his face. “No! God, no

Scully, that’s not what I mean.” He pulled his hand from

behind his head, reaching over to caress her cheek. “Right

now I just have no sense of direction. I used to know

where I was headed, now, now-I have nothing to focus on.

It’s taken me years to make this hell, I’m just so very

thankful that you’re here to keep me from being lost to

it.”

She leaned over and kissed his forehead, that beautiful

mind, “maybe you weren’t running from your past, Mulder.

You were running towards our future.” He reached out to

her then with both arms, turning onto his side and wrapping

them around her as she turned to spoon against his chest,

his warmth enveloping her. Pulling her hands into his he

kissed the crown of her head, her temple, the side of her

cheek. “This is heaven here with you,” he whispered into

her ear. She turned her head, their mouths meeting in a

soft kiss.

8:06 A.M.

She woke to the sound of the door opening again. Mulder

stepped into the room, his hair wet, clothed in a tee shirt

and jeans. “I think Alice is making a buffet just for the

two of us, you better get moving before I eat it all.”

His somber mood from the night before seemed to have

improved. She watched him walk over to the window and

appraise the sky. It was still overcast from last night.

“How about we hang around, go check out that carnival?”

“You’re serious?” she said, unwinding herself from the

covers and dropping from the high bed onto the cold floor.

“You went out there last night didn’t you?”

He looked at her in surprise; maybe he should be

investigating her and not the eerie Mr. Dark. He shrugged

but wouldn’t deny it. “Looked like it might be fun, get

dressed,” he mumbled though the sweater he had pulled over

his head. “I’m going for coffee.” He kissed her and

headed out the door for the stairs and the unmistakable

smell of coffee brewing from the kitchen below.

Scully arrived in the kitchen to find Mulder helping

himself to a rather hefty stack of pancakes. There was a

big plate of sausages and a basket of muffins in the center

of the table. How many people did Alice think she was

feeding? “Coffee, Dana?” Alice turned from the stove when

she saw Scully enter the room. “You better make another

pot; she’s not coherent until she’s had at least two cups.

OW!”

Mulder’s comment had gotten his stocking clad toes crushed

under Scully’s shoe as she seated herself across from him.

“Guess you haven’t had enough to wake up either.”

“More coffee, Fox?” He nodded and presented his half full

cup for a refill. Scully noted not for the first time how

Mulder had just sort of made himself at home here. She

still felt as if she were staying in someone’s home she

didn’t know. She wondered if it was the faint resemblance

that Alice had to Teena Mulder and that his subconscious

had found itself back in a home he hadn’t had for almost

thirty years.

“Will you two be heading for home today?” Alice sat down

and passed the bowl of eggs she’d just finished.

Mulder caught Scully’s eye before he replied. “Um, we were

hoping you wouldn’t mind guests for another night. We’d

kind of like to roam though town, maybe take in that

carnival.”

Alice seemed surprised. “Well there isn’t much of a town

to roam through, but you’re certainly welcome to stay.

Those carnivals are too shady for me, just a bunch of

gypsies out to take your money.”

Mulder chuckled between bites. He felt a lot more relaxed

than he had last night. The kitchen was warm and full of

wonderful breakfast smells. Maggie’s head had taken up

residence on his lap, her big brown eyes pleading for a

missed directed bite of sausage. He used his stocking clad

toes to tickle Scully’s calf. When she looked up at him he

winked at her. She was glad to see his mood from last

night had changed. “Seems like an odd time of year for a

carnival. Do they come here often this time of year?”

Alice dropped her fork; it clattered from the plate to the

floor. Flustered, she bent to pick it up but Mulder and

pushed his chair out and had already gotten to his feet,

bending down to pick it up. He touched her shoulder as she

waved her hands about. “My, I can be so clumsy sometimes.

They’re in the drawer to the right of the sink.”

Outfitted with a new utensil she looked from Mulder to

Scully. “There’s something very strange about the carnival

that comes here. I’ve kept track. They only come here

every twenty-five years and I swear it’s the same people.

It’s like they never age. But that couldn’t be could it?”

Mulder’s eyes flashed in Scully’s direction and she knew

the hunt was on. “You mean they always look the same each

visit?”

“Well I certainly think so. Strange things happen when

they visit here. I don’t want you not to have fun, just be

careful.” She reached across her plate to pat Mulder’s

forearm.

While Scully helped Alice clean up the kitchen Mulder went

off to find his shoes. He met her at the bottom of the

stairs with their jackets. “You want to walk or drive?”

“I thought we were getting out of the car?” she replied

smiling up at him. He opened the door, waving her through

but before he could follow her Alice stopped him with a

hand on his arm. “You keep your eye on that pretty thing,”

she nodded towards Scully. “You don’t want to loose her.”

Mulder smiled in acknowledgement but something about

Alice’s manner made him realize she was very serious.

After walking around the square and finding almost every

establishment closed for the day they ended up in front of

the antique store, “I had no idea something like a carnival

could shut down an entire town for a day,” Scully sounded

disappointed. Mulder slung his arm over her shoulder.

“Well everyone here obviously finds something about it

enticing; I suggest we go take a look.”

“You obviously find something about it enticing. Do I have

a choice?”

There was something about Dark’s carnival that had

attracted his attention. Something that played on his

thoughts since last evening and he definitely needed a

second look. This time however, he would have her there to

back him up. He reached for her hand and clasped it

tightly in his own. “No, you don’t.”

They stayed on the road instead of cutting across the field

as Mulder had done last night. A dirt lane appeared on the

left and they followed some other town folk down the lane

and then a short walk across the field brought them to the

carnival entrance.

As soon as they entered the carnival grounds Scully felt

uneasy. There was definitely something very strange about

this place. She could tell Mulder had sensed it too. He

had taken her hand as if to anchor himself to something

real, she squeezed his tightly indicting she too felt

apprehensive. They wandered through the crowd recognizing

several people from the diner the night before. Children

were playing games, several carried around oversized

stuffed animals they had won. A sudden commotion to their

right drew their attention to a booth with a money wheel.

The gentleman from the square, Mr. Walker was waving a

ticket with glee announcing himself the winner of the one-

thousand dollar prize. Mulder made a motion towards a ball

toss game but Scully stopped him. “I don’t need any

evidence of your youthful agility Mulder.”

“You spoil all my fun, you know that.” He looked

disappointed.

“It’s better to spoil the fun before it turns into

something I have to treat when you strain your arm.”

“I played right field Scully, there’s nothing wrong with my

arm.”

“Three decades ago.”

“You really know how to hurt a guy, don’t you?”

“Me and the beast woman,” she smirked back at him.

His gaze then wandered to a large tent with a banner strung

across its entrance proclaiming it the home of “THE TEMPLE

OF TEMPTATION”. A dwarf stood outside accompanied by a

scantly clad young woman, performing some interesting

gyrations with her hips and bellybutton to the beat of some

mystical tune. “Bet you can’t you do that.” Mulder teased.

“Bet you I can’t either.”

“Gentlemen, gentlemen, come see the most beautiful women in

the world! Our Harem of Happiness dances for your

pleasure,” the dwarf chanted. Mulder and Scully watched

several men hover about the entrance looking suspiciously

like they didn’t want to be seen entering. Scully

recognized Ray from the diner as he brushed past the other

men and disappeared into the tent. Mulder caught him too.

“Should I follow him?”

“In your dreams,” Scully said, pulling him away from the

temple.

Mulder looked up; the Ferris wheel had come to a stop.

“How about a ride?” Scully followed his gaze, Mr. Walker,

now waving a hefty cigar was stepping onto the Ferris wheel

to share a car with a woman in a veiled hat. Mulder was

pulling her towards the Ferris wheel and she soon found

herself seated next to him in a car only a few sections

behind Mr. Walker and his friend. Scully was never a big

fan of Ferris wheels and she braced herself as the wheel

turned and they climbed higher. It was a beautiful view

from the top. Even in the gray afternoon the countryside

was ablaze in fall color. The fields around the town had

all been harvested leaving a patchwork of browns and

greens. Below them on the midway the town’s people milled

about; many of them lingering near one of the larger

attractions that she could not make out from this height.

Mulder took her hand again, “Relax,” he whispered gently as

the wheel turned, sending them up and then back down over

and over again Lightening flashed off in the distance. It

seems to be coming from the same direction as it had just

yesterday; a storm that forever seemed to linger on the

horizon. The top of this wheel was not where she wished to

be if that storm decided to come this way.

The wheel began to slow, coming to a stop as each car was

opened for the passengers to get off. Scully looked down,

watching as the riders jumped off and ran for another

attraction. The woman in the veiled hat that had been

riding with Mr. Walker stepped off alone. “Mulder,” Scully

pulled his attention to what she was seeing. “Where’s Mr.

Walker? I’m sure he got on with that woman.” They both

watched as she lifted Mr. Walker’s hat from the seat,

smiled and handed it to the ride attendant who acknowledged

her with a sadistic grin.

“Well if he got on, he had to have gotten off Scully,”

Mulder smirked at her. She didn’t think it was funny.

As they got off the ride Scully pulled Mulder aside.

“Mulder, I have a very bad feeling about this place.”

“What?” Mulder chuckled, more to ease his own suspicions

than hers. He took her hand again. “It’s a carnival Scully;

they’re supposed to be a little creepy. Come on, I think I

know a way to make you taller.”

The large attraction Scully had seen from the Ferris wheel

was the “MAGICAL MAZE OF MIRRORS.” They both stood for a

moment and watched people mimicking in front of the wavy

mirrors outside. Mulder stepped up to the shorter one and

had his image reflected back to him as wide as he was tall.

“Hey Scully, see what I’d look like if I was your size?”

She gave him a gentle shove and he pulled her in front of

the tall skinny mirror. Suddenly they were both the same

height. “See, now you’re more my type.” That got him a

punch in the shoulder, “I don’t type.”

Scully’s gaze drifted to the exit of the attraction. Mil,

the woman from the diner stood pale and dazed at the top of

the stairs. Stepping away from Mulder, Scully approached

the woman. “Mil? Mil, are you alright?” The woman looked

down at Scully when she heard her name, reaching up to

touch her face with a wistful look and then started down

the stairs. When she reached the bottom she smiled gently

and walked away.

Scully turned to look for Mulder; he was talking to a tall

man, dressed in a black waistcoat. He was almost Mulder’s

height with thick dark hair and a neatly trimmed beard. It

did not look like a pleasant conversation. As she started

back to where they were standing her reflection in one of

the mirrors caught her attention. She turned and gasped.

Her own reflection gazed back at her surrounded by her

sister, Melissa and both her brothers, Bill and Charlie;

smiling in a family portrait that would never be.

Mulder heard her and turned from his conversation,

“Scully?” She was white as a sheet, reaching out

hesitantly to the mirror, caressing the face of someone

only she could see. He turned his attention back to Dark.

“Damn you.”

Dark followed Mulder to Scully’s side. “This must be

Dana,” Dark said admiringly, reaching to caress her cheek.

Mulder bristled. “My, you are strikingly beautiful,” he

reached to take her hand, kissing the back of it gently.

“My name is Alvin Dark. I certainly hope you’re enjoying

my fair. You never know what mysteries of the heart you

may uncover here.” Scully shook his hand listlessly, still

in a daze from what she had seen in the mirror. Mulder

grabbed her shoulder to steady her. “Are you okay?” She

nodded slightly.

“No, she’s not okay,” Dark corrected. “She’s seen a

reflection of what could have been. Perhaps Miss Dana

would also like a ticket for the carrousel,” Dark

continued, pulling a ticket from his coat pocket and

offering it to Scully. “It can change your life.”

Mulder intercepted the ticket before Scully could take it,

snatching it from Dark’s hand angrily. “She doesn’t need

one of your damn tickets. Now leave her alone!” Grabbing

Scully’s hand he pulled her away from Dark, heading back

towards the entrance and away from the pandemonium. “She

is alone, Mr. Mulder!” Dark yelled after them.

As they reached the open field Scully grew tired of being

dragged and snatched at Mulder’s arm. “Mulder, stop!

What’s wrong with you?” She pried his fingers from her

wrist. “Let go of me!”

He whirled on her, spinning her around to face him and

planting is hands on her upper arms. “I don’t know! But

you were right; there is something very bad about this

place, Scully. Last night, I did come out here. He’s right

about the carrousel, it does change you. The crippled man

from town, I saw him get on the ride last night, it went

backwards, backwards in time, and when it was over, he was

a child again Scully; a healthy child.”

“Mulder, that’s crazy, it’s not possible!”

“Forget about the possibilities for once, Scully. I know

what I saw. Dark, I don’t know-he plays on the fearful

needs of the human heart, your heart’s desires. What did

you see in that mirror?” When she just starred at him he

shook her. “Tell me what you saw!” Snatching his hands

from her shoulders, she stepped away from him. Not wanting

to think about what she saw. “Who did you see-Bill? Who

else? Melissa? A family you won’t see again because of

your relationship with me.”

“Mulder, please.”

“Somehow he’s able to give people the life they thought

they wanted. Take you back, let you start over. That’s why

he gave you the ticket Scully, a ticket to a new life.”

When they got back to Alice’s’ they found Maggie lying on

the front porch. Her tail thumped against the aged wood as

they approached; a quick search of the house revealed that

Alice was no where in sight. “You don’t suppose she…”

Scully looked apprehensively at Mulder.

Mulder stopped to look at a photo of Alice and Louis

proudly displayed on the corner of the mantle. “What

happened to her husband? You said you two talked last

night.”

“She said he had an accident.”

“I’ll bet there have been a lot of ‘accidents’ in this

town,” he countered, opening the door. “Come on, there has

to be some town records somewhere.”

“Alice-Alice said she was the town librarian, maybe that’s

where she is.”

Their first stop had been the diner. A “CLOSED” sign hung

on the door. Scully tapped Mulder’s shoulder “Isn’t that

Mil?” she said pointing across to the square to where a

beautiful dark haired woman was leading a toe haired boy by

the hand.

“Mil!” Mulder called out. The woman turned abruptly at the

sound of her name. Even from this distance they could both

see the change. She had to be 30 years younger in

appearance. The boy she was leading turned also. Mulder

recognized him as the boy he had seen step from the

carrousel the previous evening; the boy who had once been a

crippled man.

“Mulder, what’s going on?”

“Something wicked, Scully, come on!” He grabbed her hand

and they headed for the library.

NEEDMORE TOWN LIBRARY

The building had been open and dimly lit when they arrived

but there was no sign of anyone within its walls. Large

wooden tables with reading lamps filled the main aisle. A

set of stairs ascended to the second floor. They walked

slowing through the first floor shelves filled with neatly

filed fiction and children’s stories. Mulder’s eyes

searched frantically for any type of reference material.

Scully wished Alice had been here to help them. Without

her it had taken some time to find what they were looking

for on the upstairs level.

After an hour of searching the town records neither of them

had come up with a solid lead as to what they had

witnessed. Mulder could tell Scully was still shaken by

what had transpired at the carnival. The sight of Mil and

the boy on the square had only added to her apprehension.

He could tell her mind was miles away. Dark had touched

her deeply with his deception. He had no idea she ached

this way. He pulled another book from the shelves, a hand

written journal. Returning to the table where Scully sat,

he began to read. “Listen to this,” he said aloud, drawing

her attention. “1928, There has been more ill fortune

since the autumn people have arrived, these traveling

people who come to destroy others by granting their heart’s

desires as has been the cause of the devil since God

created the world. Old folks talk of such a carnival

visiting many years past when they themselves were young.

Each visit is followed by a most unusual storm and a

promise of their return again another autumn”

A sudden burst of wind whipped the pages from Mulder’s

fingertips startling them both. Looking up, Dark stood in

the doorway of the library. “I knew I’d find you here,

reading of other men’s dreams,” he said as he carefully

climbed the stairs to where he and Scully sat.

“Scully, run,” Mulder whispered to her. When she didn’t

move he grabbed her arm tightly, “Damn it, hide!”

Scully pulled away from him, saw his wordless plea and

disappeared behind the library shelves.

The door blew shut behind him as he reached the top of the

stairs. “That’s all you have isn’t it, Mr. Mulder, your

dreams.” He came to stand next to Mulder who still sat

holding the journal in front of him. “She has dreams too

you know. Dreams you’ve taken from her. Dreams of a happy

family life, of children and nieces and nephews, I can give

you your dreams Dana, I know you’re here.” Dark surveyed

the shelves with is eyes trying to determine where Scully

had hidden herself. He was certain he could draw her out

with his words. “You still dream to experience motherhood;

of times spent with your brothers and sister. Quiet times

with family and friends away from this life you’ve chosen

to live. I can give you that other life Dana; I can give

you that child and more.” He turned back to Mulder.

Mulder stood up, face to face with Dark, still holding the

journal he’d been reading. “I know who you are. You’re

these autumn people; you feed off the misfortune of

others.”

“Yes, and we are hungry again and the torments of men call

us to feed on the pain and

despair in men’s hearts.” Dark began to circle the table,

his eyes canvassing the rows of books, looking for Scully.

“I see it in yours as I’ve already told you. I hear

middle-aged men like you groan with the despair of what

they cannot accomplish. We suck the misery from them,

always looking for more.” He came to stand before Mulder

again, snatching the book from his grasp. “This book won’t

help you, tell me where she is and I can turn the years

back for you. Take you back to that moment when your life

changed forever; make it so it never happened.”

Mulder stared defiantly at Dark but said nothing. Dark

accepted the challenge.

“Twelve,” Dark ripped a page from the journal, crumpling it

and tossing it to the floor. “You sit there frozen in fear

as your own sister is taken away. It destroyed the family;

none of you were ever the same.”

Dark began to stalk the library aisle. “Twenty-eight,”

Dark ripped another page from the book, again crumpling it

as trash and throwing it to the floor. “As a young agent

you make a serious miscalculation regarding your suspect.

Another agent dies. He had a family Mr. Mulder, a wife and

two boys.”

Scully watched from her hiding place as Mulder’s face

flinched with each page Dark ripped from the journal;

baring his life before him in a wicked game of ‘This Is

Your Life’. He was not responsible for this and she was

about to put a stop to it.

“Mulder! Don’t listen to this!”

Dark turned, hardly surprised to have flushed her out. He

walked behind the shelves and grabbed her arm, dragging her

to where Mulder could see her. “And this, perhaps your

deepest regret, what you have taken from her. Thirty-

three,” rip, Dark tossed another page away. “Your

obsession with a lunatic leads to Dana’s abduction. She’s

gone for three months. It’s changed her life forever, Mr.

Mulder. Your father, Dana’s sister…

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Scully seethed

at him. Mulder never moved.

“I most certainly do, and so do you. Look at him, a

middle-aged man who cowers in his past. He has no future

for you. Thirty-four,” Dark ripped another page, “Lucy

Householder. Rip, “Thirty-five, Melissa Ephesian, Max

Fenig.” Rip, Dark stood before Mulder. “Thirty-six, Ester

Nairn, Emily Sim.”

Scully stood horrified behind Dark. “Stop this now,” she

pleaded.

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Rip, “Thirty-six, Patrick Crump, Jeffrey Spender, Karen

Berquist, a young woman named Pam; shall I go on? How many

others did you enlist in this cause of yours? All

causalities of war Mr. Mulder, your war, were the answers

really that important to you?”

Mulder stood facing Dark, unable to speak. to the truth of

Dark’s words. Dark continued to taunt him. “Thirty-eight;

a woman you once loved, Diana Fowley; Amber Lynn LaPierre,

your own mother; she called you didn’t she? You never

called her back. And now Dana’s brother.” Dark threw the

book on the floor, “You fool, you see now what drew me to

you? You heart is full of despair,” Dark then reached to

place his palm against Mulder’s chest. “You couldn’t save

any of them could you? I feel your heart beat while theirs

does not. Do you want to know what it feels like to die?

Feel your heart slow, your breath still?”

Mulder’s face grew ashen, sweat broke out across his

forehead, he stumbled back and slid down the shelf behind

him until he was slumped on the floor. Dark turned to

Scully handing her a ticket, like the one he had tried to

give her earlier. When she resisted he forced it into her

hand, grabbing her wrist. “You can have a life Dana, the

life you dream of. Join me. I can give you what he can

not.”

Scully tried to pull away but Dark turned them around to

face a woman she hadn’t noticed standing in the shadows.

Scully recognized her as the woman from the Ferris wheel

only now she was dressed in black, her face covered lightly

with a black veil. “Give him a taste of his future so he

will remember it when it comes.”

Scully watched the woman approach Mulder. There was a

scent of smoke and she could see Mulder begin to perspire

again, his breath grew rapid and he began to grimace in

pain. Clutching his left arm, he slid down on to the

floor. The woman stooped before him, her hand caressing

his chest. He gasped for breath, his breathing growing

shallow and then stilled, his face frozen in a deathly

expression, his eyes lifeless. A heart attack, she

recognized the symptoms.

“Stop this!” She tried again to wrestle herself from

Dark’s grip.

Dark pulled her too him, “Come with me,” he whispered in

her ear.

4:04P.M.

Mulder felt himself being shaken gently. The pain had

subsided but he lay exhausted on the floor of the library.

When he opened his eyes, Alice was kneeling at his side.

“Oh thank God, I thought the darkness had taken you.” She

helped him to a sitting position against the shelf behind

him, he breathed deeply trying to catch his breath, he felt

light headed. He had never felt pain like that before.

“Where-where’s Scully?”

“Dark took her Mr. Mulder, she’s not here,” Alice replied

worriedly.

Mulder crawled onto his knees and struggled to stand with

the help of the library table where he and Scully had been

seated. Alice grabbed his arm to steady him. “Don’t let

the darkness take your life from you Fox. They feed on the

darkness; you must not let them see it in you. Dana loves

you very much, that’s all you need.”

He stood for several minutes just testing his lungs waiting

for the dizziness to go away, his strength to come back.

When he felt like he could walk he headed for the door,

Dark had taken Scully and he knew where they were headed.

He stopped and turned to Alice, “Thank you.”

By the time he reached the other side of the square he’d

managed a brisk walk. When he hit the road that passed

Alice’s house he was at a steady jog. The wind whipped his

hair. A sudden burst of lightening streaked across the sky

followed by an ominous rumble of thunder. The clouds

billowed angrily above him. Mulder broke into a dead run.

He took the route he’d used the first night, cutting across

the field, his chest burning from the cold air. On the

other side of the woods the carnival came into view.

Lightening flashed again illuminating the field

momentarily; a light rain had begun to fall. Mulder came

to a halt when he reached the entrance. The carnival now

seemed deserted except for the midway lights which still

blazed a welcome that seemed only for him.

The dwarf Mulder had seen hacking for the harem girls stood

at the entrance to the maze of mirrors. At Mulder’s

cautious approach he waved his hand as if beckoning Mulder

to enter. “Where’s Dark?” he demanded. The dwarf only

motioned again for him to enter.

Mulder walked cautiously into the maze, his palms extended

in front of him as he headed down the corridor.

Reflections of himself looked back at him at every turn.

He heard Scully cry out, “Mulder!” her cry echoing off into

nothing. He quickened his pace and soon found himself in a

room full of mirrors, Dark’s liquid voice startling him.

“Looking in my mirrors for another chance Mr. Mulder? Would

you know it if you found it?”

“Is that what people find in here, second chances? You know

what I’m looking for Dark! Where is she?” He could hear

the wind outside as it battered the tent around him.

Thunder continued to roll. The storm was getting closer.

He circled the room but soon found there was no way out.

“These are the mirrors of darkness, Mr. Mulder. They lead

men to ruin. I’m sure I can find one for you.”

In the mirror in front of him Mulder saw the image of Ray

from the diner surrounded by the dancing girls, laughing as

they lavished him with touches. Suddenly Dark’s voice

haunted him from beyond. “This is the mirror of incredible

loves never to be found.”

In the next mirror Mulder saw Mr. Walker, still dressed in

his three piece suit, waving the money he’d won in the

game. “This is the mirror of riches beyond wishes, never

to be spent.”

The image changed again. This time the image of Jim Carter

appeared. A football tucked under his arm, leaning on a

cane. “This is the mirror of greatness and fame,” the

image changed to the small boy Mulder had seen Dark lift

from the back of the carrousel horse. “A game hero no

more.”

“And this,” Mulder turned to another mirror. “This is the

mirror of pride and vanity where the war of time is fought

and lost.” An elder Mil, laughing with customers at the

diner appeared before him changing suddenly to a beautiful

but terribly frightened young woman.

“Ah, and the mirror of regret,” Mulder watched as his own

image appear in the mirror before him. “I believe this one

suits you Mr. Mulder.”

“Fox! Fox!” Mulder turned around; in the mirror behind

him he saw a reflection of himself, thirty years ago.

Samantha was there reaching out to him in desperation.

“NO!” With one swift movement Mulder thrust his fist

through the glass, shattering it and the images into

hundreds of tiny shards.

“Mulder! I need your help!” Mulder turned again, seeing

his reflection as a much younger man. Scully, her hand

outstretched to him. “NO!” Again he thrust his fist

through the glass shattering the images. Blood dripped

from his clenched fist. As he uncurled his fingers he

could see the splinters of glass imbedded in them.

“Fox, call me when you get back.” His mother’s voice came

from behind him. He turned reluctantly to find himself

face to face with himself, his mother’s image speaking to

him on the phone. He froze.

“You’re a failure of a man Mr. Mulder. The answers have

always been there for you. You just never took the time to

listen to what those around you were trying to tell you.

You never gave them a chance. Let me give Dana another

chance. I’m going to give her the life she wants, a life

with her family around her, the life you’ve taken from

her.”

“NO!” Mulder reached through his mother’s image in the

glass before him once again sending shards of glass flying

in all directions. His hand grasped that of another and he

pulled hard; pulling Alice through the glass and into his

arms.

“Fox! Oh thank God, you’re all right.” Mulder stood for a

moment in utter confusion. “You’re hurt.” Looking down,

his right hand was now covered in blood. Alice had begun

to fuss over it with her apron; there was no time to attend

to it now. He grabbed Alice by the shoulders. “Where did

he take her?” The poor woman was shaking. “I don’t know.”

The melodic rhythm of carrousel music filled the silence.

“The carrousel!” Mulder was gone in an instant. Fighting

his way out of the mirror maze he was hit by the tremendous

force of the wind which had gained in intensity. Rain

pelted him as he made his way across the midway to the tent

that held the carrousel. Lightening arched across the sky.

Inside he found Scully perched on one of the magnificent

horses, Dark at the controls, the carrousel beginning its

movement back into time. Lightening flashed again, closer

this time, sending a loud burst of thunder that shook

everything about him.

“Scully! No!” Mulder ran around the platform of the ride

as she spun away from him. Suddenly there was a tremendous

flash; arcs of electricity flew down from the center of the

tent and across the brass poles that held each of the

horses. Mulder could see Scully’s whole body lurch and

then she fell from the horse to the platform to the ground.

The carrousel itself lurched grinding to a stop and then

suddenly changing direction, beginning to spin in a

clockwise direction. Another bolt of lightening arced its

way down through the tent. Dark had attempted to cross the

platform but the second bolt had dropped him. He fought

desperately to crawl from beneath the hooves of the horses

as the carrousel spun faster.

“No! God, No!” Mulder had reached Scully. She lay

lifeless. He dropped to her side, scooped her up into his

arms, brushing her hair from her face with his bloody hand.

“Scully, Scully-come on”, he urged tapping her cheek

softly. “Come on, I need you.” When he got no response he

turned angrily towards the carrousel, “Damn you Dark! You

can’t have her!” Angry tears brimmed in his eyes.

Suddenly someone was trying to pry her from his grasp.

Gentle hands pulled his away from her. “No, Fox, you must

not let them feed on the darkness. Be happy!”

Mulder looked up, shocked by the idea. “I can’t. Not

without her-never without her.” The same gentle hands that

had taken Scully from him were wiping his tears from his

face, twisting his cheeks into some resemblance of a smile.

“Don’t let them take her, son.” Alice was pulling him to

his feet, taking his hands and pulling him along in some

sort of macabre dance. “Rejoice in your love, there is so

much more you need to do with your life. Your goodness

will prevail. Laugh with me Fox!”

Behind them the carrousel continued to spin, arcs of

electricity jumped from one horse to another lighting up

the tent in an eerie blue light. Dark, aged and motionless

lay under the horses. Mulder looked at Alice, her eyes

pleading with him to join her. “Dance, Fox, laugh with

me!”

Mulder stumbled along with her, her light heartedness

beginning to pull him away from the sorrow he had felt.

They danced about as the wind tore at the tent, laughing at

each other and how ridiculous they must appear. A movement

at his feet brought Mulder to a stop. Scully had rolled

onto her side and was attempting to sit up. Mulder dropped

to her side to help her, glancing up at Alice with a look

of utter amazement. He pulled Scully too him, wrapping her

in a fierce embrace. “Come on, we have to get out of

here!” Alice was pulling them both to their feet. The

wind had become a steady roar, ripping the tent and

whipping their clothes.

Outside the tent the carnival was being torn a part by the

wind. A huge funnel cloud had appeared and was now bearing

down on them. Glass shattered, wood splintered and canvas

was ripped to shreds. They bolted for the exit, stopping

momentarily to view the chaos. When the huge banner over

the entrance began to give way Alice yelled for them to

run. Mulder grabbed Scully’s hand pulling her along as he

followed Alice across the field. Bits of debris flew about

them. Mulder could swear it wasn’t the wind he heard but

the hideous moaning of the souls Dark had taken with him.

When they reached the tree line the three of them turned as

the remains of the carnival were sucked up into the vortex

of the funnel. It spun in place for several minutes and

then it too was sucked back up into the cloud from which it

had come. A peaceful silence fell over the empty field.

NEEDMORE BED & BREAKFAST 6:17 P.M.

None of them said a word as they made their way back to

the bed & breakfast. The late afternoon sun had broken

though the clouds sending its warm rays down from the

heavens and bathing the town in a glow of new found hope.

Standing in the yard they all let it warm them. Coming

back to herself Scully realized she still clutched Mulder’s

hand tightly, a very sticky hand. Looking down she gasped

when she saw the cuts and drying blood that coated his hand

and wrist. “Oh, Mulder, what have you done to yourself

now?”

He looked down as he felt her drawing his hand up to

examine the damage. He winced as she began to poke about

at the cuts. “I think I shattered a few images of myself

I’d like to forget.”

“This looks like glass, this has to be cleaned up,” she

wouldn’t look at him.

Alice stepped up and patted her shoulder, “Bring him in the

house; I’m sure I have what you need.”

They followed Alice up the steps but Mulder stopped her

before she got to the door, “Scully wait.” Alice went on

ahead inside.

“Mulder you’re hurt.” Still not looking at him she grabbed

the handle to the screen door pulling it open until

Mulder’s left hand slammed against it above her head. “So

are you.”

“I’m fine.”

“Neither of us if fine, Scully,” he touched her chin,

raising it to make her look at him. Her lip trembled but

she stood her ground. “Okay, we’re not fine, but can we

please have this conversation after I’ve stopped you from

bleeding all over this poor woman’s porch!”

She was right, his hand throbbed. He pulled the screen

door open and followed her into the house.

In the kitchen they found Alice, laying out some first aid

supplies on the table. She looked up as they walked in.

“I’ve patched up a few boys in my day,” she said smiling

gently at Mulder and patting him on the arm. “But I think

you’re better off in her hands.” Winking at Scully before

she quietly left them alone.

Mulder watched as Scully transformed into doctor mode,

pulling his jacket from his shoulders and pushing the

sleeve of his sweater up past his elbow. He followed her

to the sink where she gently began to wash the blood away;

gritting his teeth as she examined the cuts again under the

light over the sink. “You still have glass in some of

these Mulder, some of these should be stitched,” she

observed in a very clinical tone.

“I doubt Alice has any cat-gut Scully, just butterfly

them.”

“That will leave scars, Mulder.”

“It’s not like I don’t already have some of those.”

Her eyes flashed to meet his but she said nothing, patting

his hand dry, she motioned to the table, “Sit!”

As Mulder sat down Scully opened a bottle of peroxide,

moistening a cotton ball she began to dab at the cuts.

“Geez,” Mulder hissed.

“Mulder I’m sorry, these have to be cleaned. I have to get

the glass out.”

“Yeah-yeah, I know, ow!”

The doctor mode was keeping her mind from what had happened

over the past few days. Mulder could see she was

struggling to keep working; her mind reeling with the

implications of what Dark had said to him, what he had

implied about Scully. She finally spoke. “What happened

out there Mulder?

“I don’t know. A visit from the devil’s own, sent to tempt

the souls of men?”

“But you stopped them, Mulder.”

No he hadn’t. What had happened out there had nothing to

do with his intervention as far as he could see. Something

else and driven the devil away. Something he refused to

believe in and only others had faith in. “I didn’t stop

them, Scully,” he whispered softly.

With his hand splayed out on a towel she had picked up a

pair of tweezers, her hand shaking above his. He reached

out with his left to still it. “Scully,” she froze in his

grasp. “Scully, I’m okay,” he said softly. Her eyes

finally came up to meet his quickly filling with tears.

She dropped the tweezers and wrapped her arms around his

neck, her head against his shoulder. “Oh, Mulder, none of

those things Dark said to you were true,” she lifted her

head to look him in the eye. “You know that, don’t you?

You’re not responsible for any of those lives.”

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions?”

“Mulder, don’t.”

His arms came around her, rubbing her back with his good

hand. He whispered into her ear, “I am responsible for

yours. I know how I’ve hurt you.”

She pulled back suddenly at his reply. “No, Mulder, we’ve

had this conversation before but you don’t seem to listen.

When I met you all those years ago I knew I was in trouble.

The good looks, that cocky attitude…”

“You thought I was good looking?”

His comment brought a welcome gentle smile back to her

face. “Will you just listen-that propensity you had for

always being one step ahead of me, it was so aggravating at

times I wanted nothing more than to prove you wrong. But

then I started to see the man behind those hazel eyes, his

pain and his passion, his incredible mind. You’ve taught

me so much Mulder, you let me do the investigating even

though you knew what I’d find-and then somewhere along the

line I fell in love with you and this search of yours and

now nothing can change how I feel. The X-Files are my job

too. The decision to stay with them-and you has always

been mine.”

Mulder huffed, “I seem to remember a moment in my apartment

when I practically begged you not to quit and you begged me

not to make you stay. You’ve lost so much Scully; you

can’t tell me you haven’t thought about what Dark offered

you.”

She hesitated a moment, “I don’t think about it, Mulder it

hurts too much. I know how it feels Mulder, I miss my

sister dearly and now Bill-and I don’t understand Charlie.”

“The truth, Scully,” he pleaded.

She knew what he wanted and after all these years, how

could she give him anything but? She picked up a cotton

ball and began to dab at his hand again. He flinched.

“Scully, please don’t do that,” he winced as she continued.

Finally grabbing her hand again, ‘It hurts like hell. If I

didn’t know you better I’d think you were trying to hurt me

back.”

She threw the cotton ball on the table. “Okay, I DO think

about it. I used to dream about it. After I lost Emily I

used to think about what was taken from me and what I could

never have again. I think about it every time you make love

to me, about what I can never give you.”

“All I need is you Scully,” Mulder tried to comfort her.

“This isn’t about what you need Mulder. Don’t you see?

Dark, the autumn people, they fed off our individual pain.

What we want but will never have. He gave you a ticket too

didn’t he?” Mulder nodded.

“Why didn’t you use it, ride that carrousel back to your

childhood and live your life over again? I know you’ve come

to terms with your loses but you can’t tell me you weren’t

tempted by the offer. What kept you from escaping this

purgatory you think you’ve made for yourself?”

“You,” he said simply. She saw the sincerity in his eyes.

“I didn’t want too,” was all he could let escape his dry

throat.

“You didn’t want to forget that you’ve lost your family?”

“NO!” Mulder shouted at her angrily, how dare she suggest

that. “I mean, yes, I’d give anything to forget what’s

happened to me, to my family to you. But I don’t want to

forget them and I can’t forget you.” He laced his fingers

though hers, his eyes tired and regretful.

“Then you’ve answered your own question, Mulder. Don’t you

see? Even if Dark could have given me my heart’s desire, I

wouldn’t want it. Not without you.”

He acted as if he was about to say something but she

silenced him with a finger to his lips. “Can you imagine

us, the happy family, 2.5 kids, the dog, and the mini van?

The holiday picnic with your family and mine, lots of

nieces and nephews, Bill actually liking you?” She’s

smiled as she’d said it but he saw the truth in her words,

it wasn’t them. He whispered an honest “no”.

“These past ten years, everything we’ve been though

together, as hard and as frightening as it’s been, we’ve

been there for each other. All the pain and the hurt; it’s

bonded us together with a strength only others can imagine.

It’s made us who we are, brought us here to this place in

our lives. These people, Mil, Mr. Walker, Jim Carter, all

the others Dark gave a second chance too. They haven’t

gained anything. Like you say, what they’ve given up is so

much more important.”

Mulder shook his head slowly, “I don’t follow you.”

“All their memories, all their life experiences, everything

they’ve ever done and everyone they’ve ever loved.

Everything that made them who there were, is gone.

Mulder,” she reached over, running her fingers across his

scalp. “You have the most amazing mind.”

He shook her off. “It’s a curse, Scully.”

“No Mulder, it isn’t. That memory of yours, to be able to

call up all those moments that are important to you, live

them again in your mind. If you didn’t want to keep those

memories, you would have used your ticket, erased them from

your life and began a new one. All those people, they’re

starting over but they’re not the same person they were

before. I don’t want to loose myself; I didn’t want to

loose you. That’s what frightened me more than anything.”

“We are but the sum of our memories,” Mulder said with a

sad smile. “The good ones and the bad.”

“But I wouldn’t change any of them, I told you that a long

time ago,” Scully replied smiling back to him.

“Even that fluke man thing?”

She didn’t answer, picking up the tweezers again and

spreading his fingers so she could pull the glass shards

from his hand. Mulder gritted his teeth turning serious

again. “Don’t give up on your dreams, Scully.”

What was he trying to say to her? There was no answer to

that one dream and the pain of trying to find one was not

something she chose to pursue. They had each other and a

future-somewhere. She looked up to find his gaze fixed on

hers a question in his eyes. “This is our life Mulder. I

won’t give up not as long as you don’t. That expression of

yours, a dream is an answer to a question we haven’t

learned how to ask, if we stop dreaming, then who will ask

the questions?”

He knew exactly where she was taking this. Asking him for

a commitment about their future; about whether they’d spend

the rest of their careers or perhaps their lives in this

endless pursuit of the truth. He sighed, “It’s not worth

it, Scully.”

“The truth, Mulder.”

He clenched the side of the table with his other hand as

she went back to her impromptu surgery. “I’m just so damn

tired of loosing Scully.”

“Maybe it’s not about winning or loosing, Mulder, it’s how

you play the game.”

“You can’t play the game when the rules keep changing all

the time, when you don’t have enough pieces. This is so

much bigger than just us, Scully.”

“Maybe that’s the problem, we just need more pieces.”

What was she telling him?

“Don’t give up on your dreams either, Mulder. You will

find a way.”

They sat in silence as she dabbed at the cuts again and

then spread some antibiotic ointment over them; butter-

flying a couple of the deeper ones and then wrapping his

hand in several layers of gauze. She patted his hand when

she’d finished and started to get up from the table.

Mulder stopped her, “Where do we go from here, Scully?”

She looked down into his questioning eyes. “Back on the

road and home.”

8:10 A.M.

The following morning Alice made them breakfast again.

Mulder had called and gotten them a flight back to D.C. for

late that afternoon. Sitting around the breakfast table in

the warm kitchen had brought back good memories for him.

Back to a time when life was easy and free of the threats

that surrounded them today. They were times worth

remembering, memories that gave him cause to look toward

the future with a new determination to find that other way.

By ten they had the car packed. Scully had cleaned and

rebandaged Mulder’s hand and now they stood on the porch to

say their goodbyes. Alice handed Scully a paper sack.

“It’s the rest of the cobbler from the other night, thought

you might like it for a snack along the way.” Scully gave

her a gentle hug. “Thank you so much, take care of

yourself.” She broke the embrace and stepped away, down

the stairs and towards the car.

Mulder stood for a moment, “I don’t know what to say to

thank you.” Alice smiled, “Life is a long journey, Fox,

full of rights and wrongs. I sense that in your mind you

think you’ve made a lot of wrong choices but in your heart

you’ve always done the right thing. It has never failed

you. You are a good man.” He wrapped his arms around her,

giving her a gentle hug and kissing her lightly on the

cheek. She pulled back and patted his arm. “Next time you

get tired and need another rest, you just come back here to

Needmore.” Mulder chucked and stepped away, heading down

the steps and joining Scully in the car.

They headed back through town. Both the diner and the dry

goods store were closed but the square was filled with

people enjoying the autumn sun. Scully turned to Mulder.

He sat in the passenger seat gazing out through the

windshield, his mind somewhere else. They had talked into

the night, coming to some sort of conclusions about their

life back in D.C., about juggling work and taking time for

themselves. In some sense they had been given a second

chance themselves only they still had all their memories to

take with them. Scully smiled to herself, whether it was

fate, destiny or just bad luck here they were back in the

car again; where this journey would lead them, only time

would tell.

AUTHOR’S NOTES: Thanks to Ray Bradbury whose story

Something Wicked This Way Comes gave me the idea for this

piece. Special thanks to my beta and best ebuddie, Chris

whose home is back in Indiana. This story is dedicated to

her as a special thank you for being my only friend who

understands the addiction. You Milton fans will remember

Pandemonium as Milton’s name for the capitol of hell in

PARADISE LOST. A little note on my spelling of the word

“carrousel”, Webster only spells it with one “r”, I’ve

given it two in remembrance of the wonderful carrousel

which stood in EUCLID BEACH PARK on the east side of

Cleveland, Ohio until 1969. For what ever reason, the

owners of the park, the Humphrey’s, chose to use two “r’s”.

When the park closed the ride was sold at auction and

disappeared from Cleveland. Over the past several years a

group of enthusiastic citizens located and purchased most

of the horses and are currently working to restore the ride

itself and bring it back to Cleveland. There really is a

Needmore, Indiana though I’m sure it is nothing like my

fictional rendition. There’s a quote from STAR TREK in

here somewhere.