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One Good Turn

This story is based on characters created by Chris

Carter and Ten Thirteen Productions. Characters

used without permission. No infringement

intended.

TITLE: One Good Turn…

AUTHOR: Jo-Ann Lassiter

EMAIL ADDRESS: Jolassi555@cs.com

DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT: Two weeks

exclusive on VS10. Then post anywhere. Thanks.

RATING: PG-13

CLASSIFICATION: S, R

SUMMARY: Scully is nice to a little old man, and

he decides to reward her.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Written for VS11 St. Patrick’s

Day Challenge. M&S are a couple, but only

Skinner is aware of their relationship. Both live at

Scully’s apartment.

AUTHOR’S NOTE 2: I’ve tailored leprechaun

folklore a bit to more suit my needs. Just go with

the flow.

THANKS: To Gerry, for being so picky. 🙂

March 17

Convenience Store

Georgetown

3:14 p.m.

“Be right back,” Scully told Mulder as she exited

the car. “Are you sure we don’t need anything

else?”

Mulder shook his head. “Unless you think we

should have something more than ice cream for

dessert?”

She thought a minute, then shrugged. “I don’t

know. I’ll see what they have.”

“Okay,” Mulder said, nodding. “But hurry. We have

to get cooking.” He gave her a big grin, and she

laughed. Gone were the days when his sexual

innuendoes were a source of frustration for her.

The thought that he could, and would, make good

on them kept the smile on her face all the way to

the door of the market.

Entering the store, she found the freezer section

and grabbed up the four different flavors she had

decided upon in the car. On impulse, she

snatched up a package of Hostess cupcakes and

a package of Twinkies. She was pretty sure that

Matthew liked ice cream, but it wouldn’t hurt to be

over-prepared.

She trudged to the register with her 60,000

calories and stood behind the smallest man she

had ever seen. Not more than three feet tall, he

barely reached the counter. When he went to pay

for the wrapped sandwich and apple, he handed

what looked like a gold coin to the clerk.

“What’s this?” The young man examined it for a

few seconds, then handed it back to the customer.

“Sorry, we can only accept U.S. funds.”

“But I’ve only the one coin,” the man said in what

Scully thought was an Irish brogue. “Can ye not

take the gold, man? T’is worth a far lot more than

this fare, I’ll grant ye.”

“Sorry, sir,” the youngster said, shaking his head.

“I don’t make the rules.” The clerk moved the

sandwich and apple to one side, clearly finished

with the customer.

When the man turned around to leave, Scully was

surprised by the long white beard, nearly as long

as the man was short. It was neatly trimmed, and

complemented the leather vest he wore over his

gray suit, which was clean, but threadbare.

As the clerk added up Scully’s purchases, she

indicated the man’s items he’d set aside. “Ring

those up, too, would you, and put them in a

separate bag.”

With only the briefest shrug, he did as she asked,

then Scully paid and strode quickly to the door.

She spotted the old man about half a block away.

“Wait!” she called.

The man stopped and looked around, and Scully

caught up to him. She handed the bag with the

sandwich and apple to him. “I, um… hope you

don’t mind that I bought these for you.”

Confusion gradually gave way to delight as the

old-timer accepted the food. “Why, thank ye, lass.

You’ll be wantin’ a wish then, will ye?”

The smile Scully had been wearing faded a little.

Oh, lord, was he an escaped mental patient? “Er,

no. No, thank you.” She so wanted to just walk

away, but her sense of duty prompted her to ask

him, “Is there someone I can call for you? Do you

have a place to stay tonight?”

The man chuckled. “Don’t you be worryin’ about

Macauley O’Callahan, darlin’. I’ll find me way back

in no time at all.”

“But–”

“Are ye sure about that wish, lass? Ye are entitled

to it, ye know.”

As she shook her head, Scully glanced down the

street to the car, trying to catch Mulder’s eye. He

was up and out of the car in under a second.

“What are you doing?” he asked, when he

reached her.

“Mulder, I think–” When she turned back to the old

man, he was no longer there; he hadn’t merely

continued on his way, he was completely and

totally gone from sight. She turned back to her

partner. “Where did he go?”

Dutifully, Mulder made a show of looking up and

down the street. “Who?”

She was growing exasperated. “The old man. I

was standing here talking to him not more than a

minute ago.”

Mulder’s eyebrows furrowed in puzzlement. “There

was no one here, Scully,” he said gently. “You

came out of the store, walked down the block,

then stopped here. When you asked me to, I

came.” He laid a hand upon her arm. “There was

no one else here.”

What in hell was he talking about? “The old man

who came out of the store. I followed him.” She

looked up at him. “Handed him a bag.” She

mimicked her actions. “He thanked me.” She

laughed. “Wanted to grant me a wish.”

Mulder’s face came alive at this. “Is that what he

said?”

She nodded. “I figured he escaped from a nursing

home or a mental hospital, so I signaled you to

come help me.”

Mulder sighed. “No one came out of that store

before you. I watched you the whole time. Up until

I joined you, you were alone.”

She shook her head. “No. He was here. A little old

man, about three feet tall, with a long white beard.

Surely you couldn’t miss someone who looked like

that?”

He nodded, agreeing with her. “But I didn’t see

him, Scully,” he said quietly.

“But you had to, Mulder,” she insisted. “He was

here. He was in there. The kid in the store saw

him.” Looking toward the store, she took hold of

Mulder’s sleeve. “Come on. We’ll ask him.”

Mulder allowed her to pull him along until they

reached the entrance, then he shook free and

followed her inside.

“Excuse me,” she said to the young man. “Do you

remember me?”

The clerk smiled. “Sure. You bought all that ice

cream.”

Scully returned the smile. “Do you remember the

old man who was in line before me? He had a long

white beard? He tried to buy a sandwich and an

apple with a foreign coin?”

The clerk seemed to revise his opinion of her,

studying her cautiously. “There wasn’t anyone in

line before you, ma’am. I didn’t see any old man.”

Shocked, Scully nodded. First Mulder, and now

the clerk didn’t see him. “You’re sure?” she tried

one last time.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said. “It’s been a pretty slow day,

so I’d have remembered someone like that.”

“All right,” she said, sighing. “Thank you.”

After they’d gotten in the car and had driven for a

few minutes, Mulder asked her, “Can you tell me

what he was wearing?”

“Gray wool suit, with a leather vest on top,” she

said dully.

“Was he wearing a hat?

“Yeah, it was some kind of stocking cap, one of

those long floppy ones.”

“Anything else?” he asked. “Why did you chase

him down the street?”

“He tried to pay for something with a foreign coin.

The clerk wouldn’t take it. After he left, I paid for it

and gave it to him.”

“Ahhh…” Mulder said, as if he’d just unearthed

buried treasure. “*That’s* why he offered to give

you a wish.”

She stared at him as he drove; his eyes were

alight with animation. “Why?” she asked, warily.

“Because, my darling, generous, soft-hearted

Scully, you did something nice for him, and he

wanted to pay you back.”

She continued to stare at him, flabbergasted.

“Yeah, but he couldn’t really…” At Mulder’s grin,

she broke off, not wanting to hear it. “No, Mulder.

He wasn’t some magic genie or fairy god… father.

He was just a nice little old man.” She winced as

she recalled something else. “With an Irish

accent.”

Mulder banged his fist on the steering wheel. “I

knew it!”

Scully sighed; she always got a little afraid when

Mulder got too excited. “What?” she asked with

trepidation.

“Do you know what today is, me lass?”

She looked at him quickly. “Stop that,” she said.

“That’s what he called me.”

This revelation only caused Mulder’s head to bob

up and down. “Scully! Do you know what today

is?”

She thought a moment. It was Wednesday, March

17… “Oh,” she said, a sinking feeling in the pit of

her stomach. “St. Patrick’s Day?”

“Yes!” Mulder exclaimed, as though she’d just won

a million dollars in the lottery. “A leprechaun,

Scully! You were talking to an honest-to-God

leprechaun.”

She sighed. Didn’t she see *that* one coming. “I

highly doubt that, Mulder.”

“Can you explain it, then? Huh? Why can only you

see him?”

“The clerk saw him,” she started, then faltered.

“The first time, anyway.”

“But he didn’t remember! Don’t you see? The

leprechaun didn’t want anyone to remember him.”

He took his eyes off the road to give her a smile.

“Except you. He didn’t mind that you saw him.

Because he owes you.”

Her eyes widened. “What are you talking about? I

didn’t ask him for any money.”

He shook his head at her as if she was a

recalcitrant child. “Scully, Scully, Scully. He owes

you a wish, a favor, something to pay you back for

what you did for him.”

“No.” She shook her head. “No, he doesn’t. I didn’t

ask for anything, and I don’t want anything.”

“Ah, but he has to give you something in return.”

Mulder’s eyes twinkled. Actually twinkled. “It’s in

the rules.”

She stared at him. “There are rules for

leprechauns?”

“Well, sure,” he said, and she felt like an idiot for

even questioning it. She knew that the next logical

question would be, ‘Gee, Mulder. Could you tell

me what they are?’ but she refused to ask it. She’d

seen a man, not a leprechaun, and no amount of

evidence was going to convince her otherwise.

Apparently deciding that she needed to be

enlightened, Mulder ploughed on ahead. “If you

don’t take a wish, it’s his obligation to pay you

back by another method, possibly perform some

act of kindness for you.”

She chuffed out a laugh, finding that picture highly

amusing. “Mulder, he’s an old man. What could he

possibly do for me? Besides,” she said, waving

away what he was about to say, “he doesn’t even

know who I am or where I live.”

Her partner smirked at this. “He doesn’t have to

know.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Why?”

He turned his gaze to her. “Magic, Scully.”

**

Scully’s and Mulder’s Apartment (aka Scully’s

Apartment)

Georgetown

8:23 p.m.

Whose bright idea was this? she wondered for

about the fiftieth time, even as she knew very well

it was hers. Dinner had been tolerable at best, with

little Matthew the only one at the table who

seemed to be, if not enjoying himself, then not

wishing that he was anywhere but where he was.

Bill and Tara and her mother and Mulder looked

every inch like death row inmates partaking of

their last meal before the switch was pulled. Or the

pill was dropped. Whatever.

They looked like they’d rather be taken out and

horse-whipped rather than spend another minute

in each other’s company. And hers. Couldn’t forget

that she was very much a part of this gruesome

tableau.

“So,” she asked as brightly as she could to her

guests now relocated in the living room. She stood

up. “Coffee, anyone?”

Bill looked at Tara, and Mulder looked at Scully,

and everyone looked at Maggie. Her mother tried

not to squirm, but Scully saw it.

“Sure,” she answered in her ‘I’m-being-cheerful-

goddammit (her mother would probably use

another term, but Scully was too tired to think of

one at the moment)-so-you’d-better-be-too’ voice.

“Uh, sure,” the others parroted in their own

versions of forced ‘cheery.’

As Scully nodded and turned to leave the room,

twin echoes of “I’ll help you,” followed her, as

Maggie and Tara hurried into the kitchen. A few

seconds later, Matthew trailed after them, the pout

on his face an indication that it was not of his

choosing.

Uh, oh, Scully thought. Bill wanted Mulder to

himself. That couldn’t be a good thing. She took

out the coffee items, then left it to her guests to do

the actual coffee-making. She had a war to

prevent.

She arrived on the scene just in time to witness

the utterly surprised look on Mulder’s face when

Bill punched him in the eye. Mulder had been

perched on the arm of the wing chair she had

vacated to make coffee, and the momentum of

Bill’s blow caused him to topple off. Fortunately,

his fall was broken by his chin slamming into the

end table.

“Bill!” she screamed, a second before the sound of

breaking glass in the kitchen reached her ears. As

she tried to remember if she’d taken down the

good China, she strode across the room, brushing

aside her five foot eleven, one hundred eighty-

pound brother like he was a speck of dust. When

she leaned toward her dazed partner, she was

shocked to find herself being dragged back

upward.

“What the hell are you doing?” She struggled to

free herself, but he held her in an iron grip. “Let go

of me!”

He didn’t, and so Scully’s training kicked in, and

she kicked out, catching him high in the leg, but

not as high as she’d intended.

“Ow! Fuck, Dana, watch it!” Bill cried, as she

landed another one a little closer to the mark,

“Let me go, Bill,” she seethed, “or you know where

the next one’s going.”

Instead, he adjusted his grip so that she was

caught flush against him, unable to get any

leverage. The worst part was, she could no longer

see Mulder. “Let me go!” she screeched as loudly

as she could.

Out the corner of her brain that was locked on

Mulder and Bill, she could see Tara and her

mother, staring at them in shocked silence. “Mom!”

she called, exasperated and angry. “Do

something. Tell him to let me go.”

That seemed to snap her out of it. “Bill, Let your

sister go!”

Bill shook his head and held fast. “Let me go, you

bastard. I need to see how badly you hurt him.”

The asshole actually laughed at this. “You’re

sleeping with him!” He said it like an accusation

and the worst thing in the world she could ever

have done.

She renewed her attempt to free herself, finally

sagging in exhaustion. “You son of a bitch,” she

said softly.

“How could you do it, Dana?” he asked. “How

could you sleep with a fucked-up loser like him?

You deserve better!”

She shook her head. “You’re such a bastard, Bill. I

wish you were half the man he is; it’d be such an

improvement!”

In the quarter second it took her to blink her eyes,

Bill’s grip on her upper torso had moved to her

legs, and she didn’t feel his bulk behind her any

longer.

Not caring what had caused the change, she

ripped herself free and ran to Mulder. He was just

coming around, and her mother and Tara hastily

backed away when she barreled in.

“Mulder?” she asked at the same moment she

heard Tara gasp and Matthew call out, “Cool.”

Not overly concerned about whatever the hell had

happened to her brother, she helped a groggy

Mulder to his feet. “What happened?” she asked

him.

“I dunno,” he answered, still dazed-looking. “He

asked me where I was sleeping while I stayed

here. I wasn’t thinking, and I told him.” He looked

down guiltily. “I’m sorry, Scully. My mind was on

other things.”

“Like what?” she asked softly.

He grimaced. “Like what he punched me for.”

She laughed. If Bill knew where that mind had

*really* been, he would have done more than

punch Mulder in the eye.

Finally becoming aware of the squawking behind

her, she turned around to see what the ruckus was

about.

She took in the four people standing there, and

she blinked. The she looked at Mulder. He was

already gaping at her. “Uh, Scully…”

She looked back at the two women, one little boy,

and… her three foot tall brother. There was no

mistaking it was him. He had the same face, but

he was about the same size as his son. Maybe

smaller.

Mulder tugged on her arm. “While I was… out…”

He gave her an incredulous look. “You didn’t

happen to make a wish, did you?”

That came from so far out of left field that she

couldn’t even wrap her mind around it. “What?”

“You were angry. He was provoking you. Or…” He

threw up his hands. “I don’t know. Did he do

something to make you wish him like…” He

indicated Bill with a tilt of his head. “…that?”

Scully thought over her altercation with her

brother. When she got up to the part where she

knew it happened, she nodded in disbelief. “He

said… some things about you, and I…” She

swallowed hard. “I told him I wished he was…” She

couldn’t help it: she started laughing.

Mulder smiled uncertainly, waiting.

“I told him…” She tried to stop laughing, and it

ended up coming out as a snort. “I told him I

wished he was half the man you are!” She erupted

in laughter once more, then found herself being

dragged out of the room. “What are you doing?”

she asked indignantly.

“Getting you out of there before they kill you.”

She covered her mouth with her hand. “Oh,” she

snickered.

“Scully,” Mulder said sternly, but his own laughter

bubbled up and out, then cut short with an “Ow!”

and a hand to his bruised jaw. He held it fast,

while she saw him trying to get himself back in

control.

The sight only made her laugh harder, and she

turned away so she wouldn’t have to look at him.

“You have to…” he sputtered out. “You have to get

that wish reversed.”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to.” Peering out

into the other room, her eyes found her ‘big’

brother, and she felt the power he must feel when

he towered over her. “I want to keep him like that.”

Mulder looked at her like he wasn’t sure she was

serious or not and, to tell the truth, she wasn’t

quite sure herself. She sighed. As much as she’d

love it, she couldn’t leave him like that. “Mr.

O’Callahan,” she called to the air, feeling more

than a little ridiculous about it. “Mr. O’Callahan,

that wasn’t a real wish. Please take it back, and

we’ll call it a debt paid.”

Mulder took a look out into the living room, then

shook his head.

“Oh, come on, Mr. O’Callahan, surely something

said in anger couldn’t possibly fulfill an act of

kindness.”

When Mulder nodded his approval, Scully realized

how much more like him she was becoming with

every growing day, and the thought made her

smile.

An instant later, she found herself alone in her

kitchen, making coffee. Looking out in the living

room, she saw her mother and Tara chatting, and

Bill helping his son open the package of Twinkies.

Mulder still sat perched on the arm of his chair,

looking lost in his own home. Everyone just as

she’d left them before ‘the incident.’

“Drat,” she thought.

**

Mulder and Scully’s Apartment

11:13 p.m.

“Wow,” Mulder said, climbing into bed and

snuggling up to Scully’s backside. “I am *so* sorry

I missed that.” She felt him shrug, then, “Well, not

the part about me getting injured, but all the rest.”

He let out a breath, a wistful sigh if she’d ever

heard one.

His hold on her tightened. “Thank you for

defending me to your brother.” He kissed her neck

in what she knew signified that he loved her, not

as a prelude to sex. “Why did he put everything

back to a few minutes before he changed Bill?

Why not back to the second you said, ‘I wish’?”

She thought about it a moment. “I think because I

would only have said it again. He had to alter the

setting. Tara and Mom followed me into the

kitchen, yet I was alone. That was probably the

key. Bill couldn’t be left alone with you.”

Mulder nodded behind her, the closeness of his

head making hers nod, too. “You’re right,” he said

a little too quietly for her liking.

“It’s not your fault that Bill doesn’t like you,” she

told him gently.

“I know,” he said. “But…” He stopped.

“But what?”

“But I wish he would.”

She turned around in his arms to face him. “Am I

allowed to give my wish away?”

He looked a little off balance by the abrupt change

of subject. “What?”

“My wish,” she repeated. “Can I give it to someone

else?”

She watched as comprehension dawned. He

shook his head. “Non transferable,” he said,

kissing the tip of her nose. “But thank you for

trying.”

Suddenly, she sat up. “Why don’t I wish it for

you?”

Reaching up, he gently drew her back down to

him. “If it’s going to happen, I’d rather it happen

honestly. I’d rather earn it.”

“And if you never do?”

He shrugged. “Then I don’t. Let whatever’s going

to happen, happen, Scully. Use your wish for

something silly, something fun. Being too serious

with a wish only leads to trouble anyway.

She looked at him sharply, then remembered his

little run-in with that genie. “Yeah, I suppose,” she

muttered, hardly able to believe she was taking

this whole wish thing seriously.

“Tha’s good, Scully,” Mulder mumbled, and when

she looked at him, he was almost asleep.

‘If I didn’t already have you, you would have been

my wish,’ she thought as she joined him in

slumberland.

**

March 18

FBI Headquarters

10:16 a.m.

Scully stopped short right in the middle of the

bullpen. On her way back from the lab, she had to

cut across her old stomping grounds. No fond

memories there, no one she would stop and chat

with, yet she nonetheless stopped at this desk.

For there sat Macauley O’Callahan, beard and all,

wearing a three-piece standard issue suck-up suit.

“Mr. O’Callahan,” she whispered. “What are you

doing?”

He stroked his beard for a moment before

replying. “I’m sorta stuck here, lass, until ye use

your wish.”

She looked at the man kindly. “Please, Mr.

O’Callahan, I’m not holding you to that wish. I don’t

need it.” Leaning in a little closer, she told him,

“I’m releasing you from that obligation. Please go

home.”

He shook his head sadly. “I canna do that, lass.

Ye did me a kindness, now I’ve got to do one for

ye.”

“Take me to lunch then,” Scully said. “I bought you

lunch, you can buy me lunch.”

Macauley shook his head sadly. “I possess none

of your money. Remember?”

“Oh, yes,” she said, frowning.

“Then…” She had a brilliant idea. “Conjure

something up. How about a turkey on pita, with

lettuce?”

Again, he shook his head. “I canna let you let me

off that easy. It must be a deed of some sort.

Not…” He wrinkled his nose. “…lunch.”

Sighing, she nodded her head and proceeded on

her way. When she reached the exit, she glanced

back.

As she knew it would be, Macauley O’Callahan

was no longer sitting at Agent Shaughnessy’s

desk.

Shaughnessy, however, who always treated her

and Mulder like second-class citizens, appeared

rather flustered as he looked around for the source

of the white hairs that had come out of nowhere

and settled on his nice new three-piece standard

issue FBI suck-up suit.

Scully smiled. She was beginning to enjoy having

Mr. O’Callahan around.

**

March 18

Basement Office

12:34 p.m.

Scully sat at her desk, daydreaming of what she

might wish for. Her sister? Her father? World

peace?

She shuddered at that one, remembering Mulder’s

description of how his wish for ‘world peace’ had

turned into his being the only person left in an

unpopulated world. Maybe he was right, and

frivolous was the way to go. The trouble was, she

couldn’t think of one single solitary thing that she

wanted.

“Having trouble deciding?” Mulder’s soft question

was a welcome interruption.

“I just can’t think of anything Macauley would

consider a good enough deed. He already turned

me down for lunch.”

Mulder chortled. “You wanted to use your wish for

lunch?” He chuckled. “That must have gone over

big.”

She frowned. Why should he know so much about

leprechauns when she was the one with the wish?

Then she perked up. *She* was the one with the

wish, not Mr. ‘I-know-everything-there-is-to-know-

about-leprechauns-except-how-to-get-a-wish.’

“How about a pay raise?” he suggested. “You

could always use the extra money. Or what about

a vacation, all expenses paid?”

“I don’t know…” she said, thinking it over. “I don’t

want to ask for too much.”

“Well, whatever you choose, I’m sure you’ll select

wisely. Only don’t take too long. Poor Macauley’s

stuck here until you decide.”

She sighed. “I know. If he’d only accept that I don’t

want anything…” Another sigh.

Mulder rose and stood before her desk, arm

stretched toward her. “Come on,” he said.

“Pretend I’m the type of leprechaun who *does* do

lunch, and join me for a fine dining experience at

the Hard Rock.”

Looking at him dubiously, she shook her head, but

let him help her up to her feet. “The Hard Rock,

Mulder? At lunch time? Unh, uh. Let’s just go to

the caf.”

He smiled. “Ah, Scully, you really know how to get

my taste buds a-waterin’.”

When they arrived, the lunch room was brimming

with employees. “Oh, great,” Scully murmured

when she found herself face to breast with Marilyn

‘Monroe’ Russell, the former Miss Georgia Peach

who’d just about knocked Scully down so she

could talk to Mulder.

“Hello, Fox,” she said in her breathy ‘Marilyn’ voice

that all the males seemed to find so alluring.

“Hello, Marilyn,” he said, frowning. Then he guided

Scully so that they both could bypass the

roadblock she’d thrown up.

The woman planted herself in front of them again.

“Care to join me for lunch?” she asked.

This time Mulder stayed put, his hand still on her

back. “Thanks, but no. We’ve got a case to

discuss.” Scully didn’t even blink at the lie.

When the woman laid a hand on his arm, Scully

felt his fingers dig into her back. “Oh, you can

spare ten minutes, can’t you?” The viper started

pulling him away from Scully’s side. “I’m sure your

partner can let you out of her sight for that long,

can’t she?” She smiled sweetly at Mulder, and

deigned to throw a patronizing glance Scully’s

way.

“Oh, I’m sure she could,” Mulder said,

disentangling himself from her hold. “Except that I

don’t want to.” He started them walking toward the

food area. “Excuse us.”

As he led her away, Scully heard Marilyn

muttering to anyone who’d listen how ‘poor Fox

was afraid to cross his scary little troll of a partner.’

Scully continued on to the salad bar, taking a plate

and indiscriminately filling it with lettuce. Suddenly,

a loud crash caused her–and everyone else in

the cafeteria–to look for the source. It was then

that she saw Marilyn Russell laying splayed out on

her stomach, just beyond Agent Nick Quintero’s

outstretched legs, a look of pure horror on his

face.

Almost immediately, whistles, catcalls and cheers

were heard, from both the male and female

occupants of the room. Try as she might, Scully

couldn’t feel one iota of sympathy for the woman

whose bare rear end was exposed to all gathered.

No one offered her a hand up, too shocked, Scully

imagined, from the sight that they had just

witnessed.

As Russell picked herself up and stormed from the

room, the agent whose legs had tripped her up

kept saying, “But I was facing the other way. I

don’t know how it happened. I…”

Whatever he said was swallowed up by the voices

of almost everyone else talking at once,

exclamations of lust, amusement or disgust being

bandied about.

Scully wasn’t surprised when she saw Macauley

O’Callahan sitting at Agent Quintero’s table,

doffing his stocking cap to her. Nudging her

partner, she directed his attention to the small

man. “Mulder,” she whispered.

“I see him,” he returned, winking at the

leprechaun. “Oh, man, I hope he lets me

remember this.”

When Scully turned back to the salad bar,

everything looked a hell of a lot more appetizing

than it did a mere few seconds ago.

**

March 18

Basement Office

12:57 p.m.

Because of all the hubbub still going on in the

cafeteria, Mulder and Scully decided to take their

food back to the office to eat. Plus, Mulder was

tickled pink that after Macaulay had disappeared,

he could still remember seeing the leprechaun,

and she could tell he needed to talk about it.

“This is so cool, Scully,” he said the second he’d

closed the door. “Why do you suppose he allowed

me to remember him?”

Scully shrugged, removing the cover from her

salad. “I don’t know. Maybe he likes you.”

Although she hadn’t thought it possible, Mulder

perked up. “D’you think so?”

She smiled. He was so cute like this. “Maybe he

heard you trying to help me so he could go home.”

He became thoughtful, and finally sat in his chair,

unwrapping his sandwich. “Maybe that was his

good deed for you. Maybe he let me see him

because he’s no longer here.”

“Maybe,” Scully agreed, hoping he was right.

But she’d miss the little guy.

**

March 21

Stakeout

Mulder’s Car

10:21 p.m.

They hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Macauley

O’Callahan in three days, so Scully thought it safe

to assume that he’d considered his debt paid and

gone home.

“What time’s our relief supposed to be here?”

Mulder asked.

Scully didn’t even have to look at her watch.

“Twenty minutes ago.”

“Dammit,” Mulder swore, and she knew exactly

how he felt. “What–”

“Mulder,” Scully interrupted him when she saw

their suspect leaving the building on foot.

“Jensen.”

Mulder nodded; he reached to open his door,

waiting for the man to go around the corner. “Call

for back-up, Scully. I’m going to follow him.”

Phone already to her ear, she reported what was

happening and ended the call. “Done. I’m coming

with you.”

They both exited as silently as they could, running

to the corner, peering around it carefully. Jensen

was still in view, but turned abruptly down a side

street.

“Do you think he made us?” she asked.

“I don’t know. We didn’t do anything to give

ourselves away.” He started walking toward the

street where the suspect vanished. “Let’s be

careful anyway.”

She nodded her agreement, and followed behind

him. The street was deserted when they turned

down it.

“Damn,” Mulder said. “He must have seen us.”

A second later, a muzzle flash registered just

before Scully felt the white-hot pain that only came

from a bullet wound. She found herself being

dragged into a doorway, while her partner fired at

their assailant. Darting a glance at her, he asked,

“How bad is it?”

The pain in her chest was so great that she could

hardly talk. “Bad,” she managed to gasp out.

She heard Mulder’s weapon clatter to the ground

as he gave her his full attention. “Scully?” He

sounded so lost, and she wished she could tell

him that everything would be okay, but she knew

that this time it wouldn’t.

“Love… you… Mulder,” she whispered, and then

she died.

**

March 21

Side Street

10:46 p.m.

Scully was being crushed. She couldn’t breathe,

and her whole body was shaking.

“No, Scully! No no no no no…” It was Mulder. He

was the reason she couldn’t breathe, and he was

the one crushing her, and it was his trembling that

made it feel like she was shaking. “Oh, God. Oh,

no. Oh, God, Scully, no…” He was crying, and

hugging her to him so hard that she couldn’t move.

“Please. Oh, God, please, don’t take her away

from me. Don’t do this. Oh, God, please…”

He sounded so devastated that it was breaking

her heart. What the hell was the matter with him?

Except for his trying to squeeze the life out of her,

she felt fine.

“Don’t die, Scully. Please don’t die.” His tears were

soaking into the shoulder of her blouse, and she

could tell how distraught he was, but she couldn’t

do a thing about it, his hold on her was so tight.

“Mulder… Hey, come on, man, let her go.” People

kept trying to pry her out of his arms, but it only

caused him to cling to her all the harder.

“No!” he snarled.

“Agent Mulder.” She recognized A.D. Skinner’s

voice. “What happened?” he asked softly.

His voice sounded dead when he spoke. “We

followed the suspect down here. We were careful,

but he must have seen us. He ambushed us, and

shot Scully.” He took a hitching breath, and

sobbed out, “She’s dead, sir.” Clutching her to

him, he whispered, “She’s dead.”

“Let the paramedics look at her, Mulder,” Skinner

said gently.

Mulder sniffled. “Okay,” he said, loosening his grip.

Scully felt herself being removed from her love’s

arms and laid carefully on something soft. It was

then that she realized that it wasn’t because of

Mulder that she couldn’t breathe, or move, or…

anything. She just wasn’t alive any longer.

Hands began touching her. Examining her, she

knew. After a few moments, the paramedic

stopped. “I’m sorry,” she heard the man say.

Then she was back in Mulder’s arms again. “No,”

he moaned. “Please don’t…” He buried his face in

the crook of her neck. “Don’t do this to me, Scully.

Please… Oh, God. I wish we were never assigned

to this fucking stakeout–”

And she found she could breathe. She was still in

Mulder’s arms, but they were on her couch, in her

living room. She heard Mulder gasp, then loosen

his death grip on her. “Scully?” he asked fearfully.

Finding she could move, she threw her arms

around him. “I’m here. I’m here, love. I’m alive!”

Instead of his hugging her back, Mulder ripped her

from his body, holding her out at arm’s length. His

breathing was shallow and hitching; he looked like

he was having a heart attack. “You’re…” He tried

to draw enough breath to talk. “You’re not…”

She shook her head. “I’m not.” Not anymore, she

thought.

“But you…” His face crumbled, and he gathered

her in close, tight but not as bruisingly hard as

before. He didn’t say anything more, just held her

close and wept. She hugged him back, and let him

get it all out of his system.

After a few minutes, he took several deep breaths

and released her–not letting go of her, but moving

her out to where he could see her face. “Do you

remember…” he asked.

She did, and she nodded that she did.

“How?” he asked, his hands still touching her all

over, reassuring himself, she knew, that she was

real and alive.

“I don’t–”

“With me finest compliments, laddie.” At the

accented voice behind her, Scully turned around

to face Macauley O’Callahan, perched on the back

of her armchair.

“Mr. O’Callahan!” she cried, genuinely surprised to

see the little man. “I thought you’d repaid me

already.”

“Aye, lass,” he said. “This was for your laddie

there.”

“For me?” Mulder squeaked. “Not that I’m

complaining, but why?

The leprechaun smiled. “Ye tried to help the

lassie. Not out of greed, but to help an old

leprechaun get home.”

“But…” Her poor Mulder looked so confused. “You

kept bugging Scully, but you didn’t bug me at all.”

The leprechaun’s eyes twinkled mischievously.

“Aye, laddie. A lass ye are not. Me need to see ye

wasn’t as great as me need was to see the lovely

lass.” When he winked at her, Scully blushed.

“Mr. O’Callahan…” Mulder started. Scully saw that

he was having trouble getting a handle on his

emotions once again. “I can’t tell you…” He

swallowed. “What you did I can never repay you

for.”

The little man hopped down to the seat cushion

and, with a bounce, landed nimbly on the floor.

Stepping closer to Mulder, he touched a finger to

her partner’s knee. “Did ye not understand,

laddie? I was merely returning a kindness.”

Mulder shook his head. His voice was very quiet

when he spoke. “You did more than that, Mr.

O’Callahan. You gave me back my life.”

The old man looked at him for a moment, then

nodded his head. “I know that, laddie.”

“Thank you,” Mulder said, his voice hoarse.

“Thank you for giving her back to me.”

“Right welcome, ye are,” Macauley said jovially.

“Now see that ye don’t go believin’ all those tales

you hear about the wee folk. Mind you,” he said in

a conspiratorial tone, “most of them are true, but

we’ve our good sides as well.”

“Well, you’ve got two people who’ll vouch for you,”

Mulder said, gazing at her like he still couldn’t

believe she was back. “If there’s ever anything we

can do for you, just ask,” he told the leprechaun,

finally breaking eye contact with her.

Scully reached out and took the old man’s hand in

hers. “Anything, Macauley. If it’s within our power

to help you, we will.”

The leprechaun seemed to consider how these

two mortals could ever help him, then he smiled.

“I’ll keep that in mind, darlin’,” he said, giving her

another wink. “And now I’ll be takin’ me leave.” He

looked at Mulder. “See that ye take care of the

lass.”

Mulder nodded earnestly.

Macauley turned to Scully. “And ye take care of

the poor laddie, me fine lass. I think he needs it

more than ye!”

Then he plucked his cap from his head, revealing

that shocking cap of bright orange hair, and with a

‘pop’, vanished into thin air.

They stared at the empty space for a minute, and

then Mulder scooped Scully off her feet and fell

onto the couch with her on his lap. She didn’t say

a word; she knew he needed to reassure himself

of her presence. She suspected he would for a

few weeks to come.

Making herself comfortable, she laid her head on

his chest and snuggled in.

Mulder’s sigh was a little unsteady still. “I’m going

to be overbearing for the next few days,” he said.

“I expect so,” she agreed. “Probably longer.”

He nodded. “Probably.”

She hugged him to let him know she understood,

and that it would be okay. “Mulder?”

“Yeah?” His voice was muffled; she felt his chin

resting on her head.

“What do you think happened with Jensen? Do

you think anyone got… hurt… in my place?”

He was still for a moment, then asked, “Do you

want me to find out?”

“Yeah. I think I need to know.”

With barely a movement, Mulder had his cell

phone to his ear. “Sir?” he said after dialing

Skinner’s number. “I was wondering if you could

give us any information on Alfred Jensen? There

was a stakeout tonight– No, sir, I didn’t. I just had

a feeling. … Oh. Well, that’s great, sir. I’m glad no

one was hurt. … No, no. Like I said, it was just a

feeling. … Yes, sir. Good night.”

Scully felt like a weight had been lifted off her

chest. “So no one was hurt or… killed?”

Mulder drew in a breath, and let it out shakily.

“Other than Jensen, no. When the agents ran

down that side street, one of them tripped over his

own feet, and the bullet missed him.” He squeezed

her to him. “You’ve got to start being more clumsy,

Scully.”

Before she could reply to that, her phone rang. Not

willing to relinquish her spot on Mulder’s lap, she

stretched toward the phone. Mulder plucked it

from the cradle and handed it to her. “Hello?” she

said into the mouthpiece.

She listened to her mother’s frantic ravings,

inserting an occasional comment when

appropriate until, “It sounds like an allergic

reaction to something he ate. It should go away on

its own, but he should see his doctor when he gets

home.” Then she said her goodbye’s.

Passing Mulder the phone, she waited until it was

safely back on the hook before bursting into

laughter.

“What is it?” Mulder asked.

She pushed off until she could see his face. “It

seems that Mr. O’Callahan left us a parting gift.”

She waited a second while Mulder brought himself

up to speed with the clues she’d provided thus far.

“What did he do to Bill?”

She snickered, then snorted. “Bill’s hair turned

orange.”

Mulder grinned. “Really?”

She locked eyes with him, hers barely able to

contain her glee. “Everywhere.”

Now his eyes widened. “Everywhere?”

“That’s what Tara said.”

Mulder threw his hands up in front of his eyes.

“TMI, Scully! Do you want me to go blind?”

She started laughing again. “You think it’s too

much information for you, you should have heard

Mom trying to tell it to me!”

Mulder was holding his sides. The sight of him

laughing after his horrible evening made her feel

happy. “Let’s go to bed, partner. I need to see if

Macauley left any other little surprises.”

Mulder looked horrified. “What? You don’t

suppose…”

Scully squirmed around on a certain part of his

anatomy. “Well, my favorite parts appear to be

working okay.”

Mulder jumped up, catching her before she could

hit the floor. He pulled her toward the bedroom.

“You never know with leprechauns, though. We’d

better get in there and make sure.”

She swatted him on the behind. “Hm. You’re right.

Magic and a warped sense of humor. There’s no

telling what we might find.”

After giving her a pained look, Mulder walked a

little funny to the bedroom.

And Scully laughed.

And Mulder was glad she could.

The End

Feedback is appreciated!

Mulder’s Crock of Gold

‘Mulder’s Crock of Gold’

[Happy St. Patrick’s Day!]

By MairŽad

PG15 for language

[Mulder belongs to David Duchovny,

Chris carter and Fox and is only

borrowed

here, with thanks, for a whim].

A Market Town in Ireland

Mulder had seen the end of the rainbow

earlier in the day. It beamed into a

cemetery which was dead centre in the

Irish town he was visiting. He had

been standing at the door of a hotel

opposite when he spotted it. He

went next door to a general store and

bought a spade at the time which he

carefully hid inside the cemetery gate.

The weather was very cold so there

were few outdoors.

Late that night he crept into the

graveyard and started to dig in the

spothe had marked earlier in the day.

He dug up a crock of gold which was

spilling over. The place he was digging

was lit up by floodlights from

thestreet nearby but still he was

confident he wouldn’t be seen. Having

stoppeddigging to take a breath leaning

on his spade he heard the sounds of

the cemetery gate being locked.

‘Now you are in trouble my good man’

a voice from nearby informed him

Turning Mulder spotted the Leprechaun

‘I was wondering when you would

show up’ he said testily.

‘And why wouldn’t I considering it is

my gold you are digging up!’ The

strange faery responded

‘Don’t give me that! Mulder growled

glaring at the little person in

front of him ‘Where did you get the

gold and if I am not mistaken you are

an alien from another world who could be

up to all sorts with this money.’

‘Alien my arse!!!’ the Leprechaun screamed jumping up and down in fury

at Mulder’s haughty words. ‘Prove it,

prove it he continued to scream and

if you can’t prove it I get to keep my

money!!!’

Mulder raised his head laughing ‘now I

have you, double the gold horde if

you lose. I have years of experience finding

aliens and you will be my proof!!!’

‘Come here’ he said grabbing the

leprechaun by the scruff of the neck.

Quickly removing a flick knife from his

trousers pocket he pricked the

Leprechaun’s skin on his fisted hand.

Green blood started to seep from

the cut much to Mulder’s satisfaction.

‘Ha I knew it. You are an alien there

is no doubt of that’

‘Alien my arse!’ the Leprechaun repeated spitting bile at Mulder’s feet.

‘Ask anyone in Ireland and they will

tell you Leprechauns have green

blood. Why do you think they turn the

beer green on St. Patrick’s Day if not

to honour us. You have lost your bet

young man’ and with that the Leprechaun

disappeared with the gold. Not because

Mulder had lost the bet but because

he had forgotten he should not take

his eyes off the Leprechaun even

for amoment.

Mulder sank to the ground shaking his

head in frustration. Not only had he

lost untold riches he was alone in a

locked graveyard with a dug up grave

and a spade in his hand and would have

to answer some awkward questions once

released. Getting up he stumbled to

the gate and started to shout for help.

SlaintŽ

MairŽad

Go mBeir an Taibhse

Title: Go mBeir an Taibhse

Author: Skinfull

Rating: PG

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit, no harm.

Summary: St Patrick’s Day, Ireland and

leprechauns…it’s gotta be an Xfile. Originally to

be submitted to IMTP for VS11 St Patrick’s Day

Special.

Feedback: skin_full@yahoo.ie Love all feedback.

Thanks in Advance!

Author’s notes: My dad is from Killarney so every

summer for two weeks we all packed into the car to

head south like a flock of ducks. With usually about

8 of us traveling in a small car with a dog it was

never much fun until we got to Torc Waterfall. My

dad told us horror stories about banshees and

leprechauns so it was always the highlight of the

trip.

*The title of this fic roughly translates “To Catch

the Ghost” It’s one of my favorite Irish poems and my

dad used to recite it as we climbed the waterfall to

scare us. Go mBeir an Taibhse. (Pronounced “Guh Mare

awn Tie-v-shuh”) Other Gaelic words in the fic are

Bodhrán (bow-rawn) which is a drum held in the hand

and hit with a wee stick, Poul an Ifrinn (Pool awn

If-reen) The Devils Bowl and Scéalta (sch-k-ale-ta)

that is Irish for Stories. Oh and of course Sláinte

but then when your holding a pint of Guinness in your

hand and you say Sláinte…I don’t need to write a

meaning do I.

**You really can climb up and behind Torc. To view

pictures of Torc Waterfall go here:

http://www.irlgov.ie/aboutireland/eng/photogallery/14

.asp

Go mBeir an Taibhse

By Skinfull

Torc Waterfall

Killarney

Ireland.

March 8th

The waterfall stood impressively in front of them

spilling a continuous flow of heavy water over its

sheer drop onto the rocks below. The rain that

dropped heavily from the sky did nothing to diminish

the view as they sauntered up the sandy path to the

bottom of the falls.

Patrick Murphy took the lead and leapt over the small

brick wall to land on a wide flat rock. The water

flowed quickly beneath the rock but would only wet

his ankles if he fell in.

“Keep close lads, it’s not too tricky until we get to

the pool that’s about half way but to climb in behind

it we’ll need to keep focused.” Patrick looked back

at the two men that followed him. When they arrived

at his tourist office three days ago he spotted their

American enthusiasm immediately and dollar signs rang

up in his mind. Then when they explained what they

were researching he knew only the personal touch

would do. He offered to take them up to the top of

the waterfall through the caves that sprawled out

behind it, and told them the tales that he’d heard

from his father about the folklore of these ancient

caves. With every tale their eyes lit up and when he

picked them up at the hotel this morning, they could

barely contain their excitement.

He had instructed them to wrap up warm and bring rain

gear. Paddy supplied the food and they had backpacks

full of equipment that he didn’t think they’d really

need.

“Is it much further Mr. Murphy?” the tall one said.

Paddy glanced back and looked between them both. One

named Charles Parsons and the other Frank Gellar but

he couldn’t tell which was which.

“Call me Paddy…and no, once we get to the pool it

will only be a little further.”

He jumped up to another flat rock and turned back to

help the others over. He’d been climbing this route

since he was a kid and knew every loose rock and

stone in the place. As he circled the wide natural

pool he told them to be careful, as it was deeper

than it seemed.

“This is the skinny dip pool you mentioned?” Frank

said smiling through his thick beard.

“Yeah and it wasn’t raining we’d probably have to

sidestep a few lovely maidens!”

“Damn this Irish rain,” Charles laughed as Frank

helped him onto the next rock.

They managed to get around the pool and climb up to a

table like rock that was big enough to hold all three

men. Paddy rubbed his hand over his face to wipe it

free of the rainwater and took a deep breath. He

pointed up to a cave opening that stood behind the

fast falling water and showed them their destination.

“Stick close lads and follow me. Stand where I stand

and yell out if you need me to slow down.”

The two men nodded and Paddy took off at a moderate

pace, climbing up the side of the waterfall to a

ledge that stood eight feet above the pool and a foot

wide. Pressing his back to the rocky wall Paddy

inched his way behind the water, ignoring the mist in

his eyes, he carefully moved past it and finally made

it to the cave entrance. He remembered it being a

lot easier when he was a kid, Paddy mused with a

smile. Shortly afterwards the tall American, Frank,

with the backpack now resting on his chest walked in

his smile wide and elated. Charles finally made it

through, his face more panicked than elated but his

smile was present.

“Right so lads. This is where it gets tricky…these

caves are like mazes. Don’t wander off. We each got

our own torches but if you want to see what you came

looking for keep them off.”

The cave was all but pitch black with little or no

light to follow their leader but they held their

torches off in their hands as instructed, the hopes

of maybe finding what they came all this way for out

weighing the need for light. Paddy’s footsteps

stopped and Frank and Charles bumped into the back of

him.

“Shhh…did you hear that?”

“No…what did you hear?”

“They are a tricky folk…they can make a man think

he’s seeing things that aren’t really there.” Paddy’s

voice was hushed and he bent low to the ground. He

flicked on a small penlight and Frank knelt next to

him.

“Where’s yer man?” Paddy said nodding his head behind

Frank to the empty space where Charles should be

standing. Frank glanced round and was surprised not

to see Charles kneeling next to him.

“Charlie? Hey Charlie?” He switched on his torch and

shone it round the empty cave way. Standing, he took

a few paces back the way they came calling his name,

but a loud scream from ahead in the cave startled

both of them.

“What the hell was that?” Frank came back to Paddy’s

side and searched the cave again with his torch.

“They’re here,” Paddy, sounded almost surprised. He

glanced back to his anxious partner and waved him on

to follow him. “C’mon this way, it came from over

here.”

“What about Charlie?”

“Hurry…”

Keeping their torches on, Paddy rushed ahead racing

around the stalactites with a surefootedness Frank

wished he possessed. They reached an opening with a

blowhole on the top letting the light from outside

stream in. They stilled in the sunrays and held

their breath for another clue, but as Paddy turned

around to speak to Frank he found he was alone.

“Hello? Mr…Eh…Parsons? Gellar?” Going back the

way he came he took slower steps, retracing his track

all the way back to the cave entrance. “Hello?”

Stepping away from the misty falls outside, he went

back into the caves slipping on the wet rocks and

falling hard onto his knees and hands. He looked up

wanting to see the two men standing over him but all

he heard was their screaming voices filling the air,

that shook him to his bones. Scrambling to his feet,

Paddy backed away from the cave and jumped over the

edge through the falling water, landing in the deep

pool below.

Gasping for air he resurfaced and swam to the rim to

climb out. He rushed down the rocks with little

care, falling several times. The path was empty as

he barreled down calling for help all the way. He ran

straight out of the park entrance and onto the road

without looking. The lorry couldn’t stop in time and

it crushed him to the fender, dragging him for three

hundred yards before it finally stopped.

The rain kept falling and the roar from the falls

disguised the screams as the driver called the police

and turned from the gruesome sight under his wheels.

***

FBI Basement Office

March 14th

7.12am

“Top of the morning to you Scully?” Dana Scully

halted in her tracks half way across the office and

spun on her heel to face her smiling partner. His

grin was suspiciously wide, spanning his whole face

even reaching his eyes making them twinkle wickedly.

“What?”

“Skinner just approved our next case.” Mulder sat

back into his chair enjoying the satisfying creak as

it moaned under his weight and propped his feet on

the desk.

“What case?” She approached his desk and placed her

case on the chair in front of it, dropping her coat

down too.

“I thought we were desk bound for the next couple of

weeks?”

“Well I submitted a few cases for Skinner to look

over and he approved one. I guess we get a pardon

this time Scully.”

“So what is the case?”

“Missing persons.”

“Missing person? Who?”

“No missing persons. A government funded team who

were researching…for purely scientific reasons…”

“What were they researching Mulder?”

“Folklore.” He sat forward and rummaged through a

pile of papers on his desk, avoiding her eyes.

“Folklore?”

“It began five years ago. In different parts of the

country and was so successful in debunking local

folklore that it has expanded worldwide. They

traveled to Scotland to-”

“No don’t tell me…The Loch Ness Monster?”

“Correct. Then to Ireland at the beginning of this

year…January 15th to…” He glanced up at her to

see if she would pre-empt his answer. She was half

smiling looking down at him shaking her head.

Finally his exploring fingers found the elusive file.

“To search for Leprechauns.”

“Leprechauns? Oh come on Mulder give me a break.” She

collected her case and went over to her desk.

“Skinner approved this investigation?”

“Well in essence we’re searching for the team not the

leprechauns.” He followed her to her desk where she

was booting up her PC. He dropped the file in front

of her and perched himself on the corner.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were submitting cases to

Skinner?” she glanced up at him with more than a

little annoyance.

“To be honest I didn’t think we’d get approval for

any of them.” She took the file he left down,

opening it. Reading through the personnel data of

the missing team, she noted they both had scientific

doctorates and published works in many magazines.

“But it seems that without this team a lot of the

research will be wasted.”

“So when do we leave?”

“This evening. Flight is direct to Shannon and

leaves Dulles at six thirty. Check in is at four.”

He stood away from the desk and straightened his tie

but leaned down closer to her, resting one hand on

the desk and the other on the back of her chair.

“Wrap up warm Scully, it’s cold over there at this

time of year.”

***

Killarney

Ireland

March 15th

10.34am

It was raining. It was raining heavily. And it was

cold. Mulder stood beside her with the keys to the

rental car jingling in his hand merrily. She glanced

up to see him smiling and pulled the collar to her

coat higher around her neck. Pulling her bag from

the boot she dropped her bag to the ground and jammed

her hands in her pockets.

“Cold Scully?”

“Freezing.”

“Well it’s just after nine so after we check in we’ll

get some food.”

“Breakfast…doesn’t feel like breakfast time.”

Mulder locked the car and caught up with her as she

went in through the large ornate hotel entrance.

Gold trimmed door handles and a marble tiled floor

pleasantly surprised her as she stepped up to the

reception desk.

The receptionist spotted them walking in and smiled

as Scully approached the desk. Her weariness was

obvious and she could tell she was just off a

transatlantic flight so she softened her smile a

little.

“Hello. Welcome to Jury’s Inn Killarney.”

“Hi. We have a reservation for two rooms.” Scully

put her bag on the ground and turned to see Mulder

join her dropping his bag too.

“Under Fox Mulder,” he said.

“Ah I see. Rooms 213 and 214.” The receptionist

busied herself for a moment setting up their card

keys as Mulder fished out his credit card and signed

the check in receipt. “There will be food served all

day in the restaurant and of course room service is

available.”

“Thank you.”

“The elevators are through those doors and your rooms

are on the second floor. If you have any questions

dial zero for reception.”

“Thanks.”

After unpacking her clothes Scully stepped into the

bathroom and turned on the shower. Looking down at

her watch she saw it was just after eight in the

evening but the room clock told her otherwise.

Resetting it to local time she left it on the bedside

locker and undressed. The hot water poured some

vitality into her weary body and she basked in it for

a moment longer than necessary. Finally stepping

out, she wrapped up in a large soft towel and

returned to her room. Mulder lay stretched out on

her bed, the case file in his hands and a frown on

his face. He had removed his tie and shirt and his

shoes were trailing from the door.

“What?” she asked sitting down on the edge of the

mattress.

“Just some of these things don’t add up.”

“Well isn’t that why we’re here?” she chided over her

shoulder making him smile.

“Partially.”

Rolling onto his side, he slipped an arm around her

waist and pulled her down next to him to kiss her.

She let him for a moment then pushed him away to sit

up.

“C’mon. The sooner we get out in that rain the

sooner we can get back in here.”

“And finish up the real work.” Laughing she walked

over to her wardrobe and pulled out some fresh

clothes.

***

Laurel’s Pub,

Main Street Killarney

March 15th

“Mister Patrick Murphy was seen speaking to them in

the lobby of Ryan’s hotel on the morning of the

22nd.”

“That’s doesn’t mean he killed them.”

Mulder glanced at Scully as she took a step forward,

drawing the attention of the bartender. He continued

to wipe the glass clean with a well-worn cloth. The

pub was small and smoky but he didn’t seem too

interested in cleaning anything but the glass in his

hand. Scully let her eyes wander briefly around the

room at the three other patrons that nursed pints

even at this early hour.

“We’re not here to accuse Mr Murphy-” she began but

the bartender shook his head with a frown as he

blessed himself.

“God rest his soul.” He put the glass down, leaning

over the bar towards the two agents as if he was

about to impart with some secret wisdom. “Something

frightened him up there. He saw something that

scared the bejeezus out of him.”

“What do you think he saw Mr Reilly?” Mulder asked

leaning on the bar too.

“Not what…who…” Reilly tapped the side of his

nose, turning away to serve a customer. Scully

turned on her heel and walked swiftly out of the bar,

not waiting to see if Mulder followed.

“Mulder…we checked out the tourist office…Patrick

Murphy’s brother and now the bartender at his

favorite watering hole,” she said when she heard his

quick footfall behind her.

“You don’t think he’s a suspect do you Scully? That’s

a bit easy. He’s dead.” Mulder was walking behind

her, yearning to turn her round to face him but he

knew better than to stop her when she was in this

mood.

“He was killed on the N71…a main road outside the

gates of a national park. The path from that park

has quite a steep incline leading to that road. If

he was coming down that hill he could have lost his

footing and raced out in front of the truck that hit

him.”

“He was running…running from something Scully…I’d

like to know what. A horseman at the park gate who

saw Murphy and two other men that have been

identified as Parsons and Gellar entering the park,

said Mr Murphy came racing down that hill, soaked to

the skin and screaming for help.”

“We’re here to look for Professor Frank Gellar and

Doctor Charles Parsons. Patrick Murphy’s death-”

“Patrick Murphy was the last man to see these two

alive.”

“He’s dead!”

“So we’ll work from there.”

“We’re going to the waterfall aren’t we?” she knew

his answer before he spoke.

“It’s supposed to be a beautiful view.”

She didn’t reply but she didn’t argue. Her pace

slowed and her eyes finally took in some of the

sights in the streets. Flags and banners were being

hung up all over the place with huge inflatable

shamrocks and leprechauns joining them on rooftops.

Bunting criss-crossed the streets, hanging from shop

to shop with green white and gold colors everywhere.

“It’s St Patrick’s day.”

“Well not till the 17th.”

“We’re in Ireland on St Patrick’s day…searching for

leprechauns…oh god Mulder!” She was laughing with

a rueful smile.

“Oh come one Scully, everyone’s looking for

leprechauns this time of year.”

“My Dad loved it this time of year. He was in

Ireland once for St Patrick’s Day when his ship

docked in Dublin and he told us about it over and

over…”

“Your family is of Irish decent isn’t it Scully?” he

asked as they ambled down the street turning towards

a trio of musicians who started up an old Irish tune

on a bench outside a crowded pub. One of the played

a guitar, one a tin whistle and the last beat on a

hand drum Mulder remember being called the bodhrán.

“Yeah. It goes way back but a few Scullys moved back

here in the 70’s.”

“Never been tempted? With your hair you’d fit right

in.”

“No not me. My dad talked about it a lot but, well,

he never did.”

They walked on in silence for a few minutes enjoying

the music and the party atmosphere in the street.

Spotting an advertisement that was bragging the best

guides to Torc Waterfall in town he took her arm,

leading her towards the tourist office. A small

jingle alerted the receptionist as they entered and

they both produced their badges as they approached

the desk with perfunctory smiles.

“Agent Mulder FBI.”

“Oh sure aren’t you the ones investigating Paddy’s

death?” the small receptionist asked as she blessed

herself.

“Well not exactly…” Scully slipped her badge back

into her pocket. “We need to get to Torc waterfall.”

She tried a different approach.

“Well you’ve come to the right place.” She switched

immediately to business mode and slid a few brochures

across the table. “We’re quite busy at this time of

year as you can understand.”

“Of course but we need a guide who would have known

where Patrick Murphy was taking the two tourists that

morning.”

“They were going into the living caves that run

beneath the Devils Punch Bowl.” The receptionist

blessed herself again at the mention of Murphy’s

name. “John will take you. No man knows those caves

better than John Byrne.”

“Great.” Mulder’s eyes lit up at the mention of the

caves and the name of the area.

“When can we leave?” he asked, reading through the

brochures with restrained enthusiasm.

“Sure he wont be ready to go until tomorrow morning.

He’s out at The Gap today,” she said with an air of

incredulity as if the guides schedule was common

knowledge.

“There’s a Gap in town?” Mulder looked up in

surprise.

“Yeah the Gap of Dunloe.” Her gaze turned to one of

amazement at Mulder’s ignorance of the land.

“It’s a mountain pass Mulder, not a clothing store.”

“So should I get him to meet you at your hotel?” The

receptionist asked pulling out a copybook to jot down

their appointment.

“Please. Jury’s Inn.” Mulder passed her his business

card and turned to Scully smiling. “Call me if there

is any problem.”

“Rightso. He’ll be calling at around nine-ish. Have

a good breakfast and wrap up warm.”

***

Jury’s Inn Lobby.

March 16th

10.21am

“Maybe he couldn’t come.” Scully sipped her coffee,

looking out the window at the pelting rain. People

rushed by with umbrellas, coats and scarves pulled

around their necks tightly protecting them against

the wind.

“They would have called, I left my card.” Shifting

uneasily on the soft leather chairs, Mulder strained

his neck to see the door as the swoosh of it opening

reached his ears.

“Maybe the little people got him!” she jibed over the

rim of her cup.

“Maybe Scully maybe!”

“Agent Mulder?” A soft-spoken voice called his name

making him turn to see a tall brown haired man

walking over from the check in desk. “My name is

Jack. Jack Byrne.”

“We were expecting a John.” Mulder stood to shake

his hand.

“Jack or John…it’s all me. I understand you want

to go up to the Devils Punch Bowl on Torc.” He

glanced at Scully as she drained her coffee and

stepped round the table to join Mulder’s side.

“We wanted to go on the route that Patrick Murphy may

have taken two American researchers.”

“Paddy took them up to the falls and then on the path

that leads behind it into the caves.”

“Well then that’s where we want to go.” Mulder

smiled and looked down to Scully who was standing

quietly by.

“Rightso. Follow me. We’ll take my truck.”

Jack turned round and walked out into the heavy rain

without a second thought. He crossed the road with a

lazy gait and started to climb into a dark blue pick

up.

“You going up to Torc today Jackie?”

They all turned to see an old man approaching the

truck; one hand swinging before him as he walked the

other one nestled in the small of his back. He wore

a tattered pair of trousers that were tucked into a

green pair of wellies and a tweed suit jacket. On

his head he rested a threadbare cap that had seen

better days but he didn’t seem to notice or care.

“Yeah Míchál I’m taking these on a trip up to Poul an

Ifrinn.”

“Well you be careful up there. I can feel it today,

the mountains are close.”

“Don’t worry Míchál. I’ll catch you later in

McClusky’s.”

“Rightso Jackie, I’ll have a pint of the black stuff

waiting for ya!”

Jack smiled and sat into the truck closing the door

behind him. Mulder climbed in beside him, while

Scully got in the back, and with a quick glance over

his shoulder at the traffic he pulled out into the

road.

“So you’re from the FBI?”

“Yeah. Agent Fox Mulder and that’s my partner Agent

Dana Scully.”

“How are you doing ma’am?” John gave her a warm smile

through the rear-view mirror and she could do nothing

but return it.

“Did you know Patrick Murphy?” Scully asked leaning

forward.

“Yes. We were good friends. Terrible shame what

happened to him.”

“What do you think he was running from?”

“The caves.” Jack said it without question as if he

thought there could be no other answer.

“What’s in the caves that made him so scared?” Scully

asked trying not to meet Mulder’s excited eyes.

“Well Torc Waterfall is a very enchanted place. It

has a lot of history.”

“Enchanted?” As if sensing her cynicism Jack glanced

round at her with a wide smile.

“This is Ireland Agent Scully…the whole place is

enchanted.” He turned back to the road and drove away

from the town. Soon they were driving through tree-

lined roads with glimpses of the lakes to their left

and mountains all around. “Torc Wood was once home

to the Pookas and Fairies, but a man named Larry

Hayes owned a farm that bordered it. He was a good

honest man but every morning when he came out to tend

to his stock, he found they’d been hocked, hipped or

even missing. Sometimes dead.”

“Sounds like a case for you Mulder.”

“Cattle Mutilation is a common phenomena in the

United States.”

“Well I don’t think Larry was afraid of aliens,” Jack

replied, surprising Scully with his perception.

The rain hadn’t eased up by the time Jack pulled in

to a space by the park entrance. He jumped out of

the car and zipped up his raincoat, pulling the hood

up over his head. The agents joined him, each

pulling up their hoods too.

“Anyone who’s not wearing a coat today doesn’t own

one!” Jack smiled at Scully as she shoved her hands

in her pockets to protect them against the cold wet

wind.

“So what happened with Larry?” Mulder asked glancing

between them both and catching the smile on Jack’s

lips as he winked at Scully.

“A long time ago…” Jack began, walking up the

incline that led to the waterfall.”

“In a galaxy far far away?” Scully suggested, her

voice dripping with sarcasm.

“No not quite…” Jack looked back at her with

laughing eyes. “Larry was wondering who would hold a

grudge against him to hurt his livestock. But he

couldn’t think of anyone.” As he spoke he walked on

the gravely sandy path away from the car park and up

towards the waterfall. The closer they got the

louder he had to speak, as the roar of the water was

tremendous. “So even though he was afraid of the

good people of the forest, he stayed up one night to

see if he could catch the culprit. He walked the

fields over and over and suddenly before him appeared

a large boar.”

“A boar?” Scully asked but both men ignored her

exclamation.

“He was afraid but he asked the boar what he was

doing in the forest. And the boar admitted it was he

who killed his animals, but promised to make it up to

him if he followed him to the caves.”

“A talking boar no less,” Scully added but again to

no reception.

“So Larry followed the boar into the forest,” Jack

continued chuckling at her reaction. “So they walked

through Torc Wood and came to a large rock. The boar

opened a door in the middle of it and walked in.

Carefully Larry followed only to find himself

standing in the finest room he had ever seen. He

turned to speak to the boar but standing in his place

was a handsome young man.”

The path became steeper and Mulder reached back to

take Scully’s hand but she batted his offer away,

passing him out instead. If Jack noticed the

altercation he didn’t comment, only continued with

his story.

“In less time than it takes to tell, he had treated

Larry to a fine meal of beef and mutton and a large

jug of whiskey punch, then from nowhere, he produced

a bag of gold and handed it to Larry. He then told

him that he could have as much gold as he liked but

he couldn’t utter one word of this place to another

soul.”

“Uh oh…here it comes.” Mulder glanced around him

and took in the beautiful sights of the forest and

the river that flowed beside them over soft rocks and

pebbles.

“Larry vowed he would never tell, hocked the bag over

his shoulder and made his way home. Soon the

neighbors not to mention his wife became curious how

he’d become so suddenly rich. But Larry never said a

word. Then one night his wife followed him into the

forest and watched him enter the rock. When he came

out she taunted him to tell her his secret and she

berated him so much he finally gave in and told her

everything.”

“Women!” Mulder joked rolling his eyes to heaven.

“Shut up Mulder.”

“Then the boar appeared on the top of the rock and

yelled out to Larry so loud that the mountain on

which they were standing rocked again and again. And

he was whipped up into a sheet of flame to Poul an

Ifrinn where no sooner had he plunged into the Devils

Punch bowl the water spilled out and became Torc

Waterfall ever since protecting the rock.”

“That’s some story,” Scully said emphasizing the word

story.

“What about Larry?” Mulder asked always wanting to

take it a little further.

“Larry is said to roam this forest protecting the

rock for eternity.” Scully let out a small laugh and

Jack turned to face her, an exaggerated frown on his

face.

“Well let’s just get up here and see what we can then

we’ll know who’s skeptical?”

As they turned a corner in the small path the

waterfall came into view. They all looked up at the

magnificent sight of the pristine water spilling over

the many rocks in its path. Jack reached the small

brick wall and rested one foot one it. His hands

slapped his knee and he pointed up to the waterfall.

“See that ledge up there jutting out from behind the

falls? It leads to the cave entrance.”

“We have to climb up there?” Scully pulled her hood

back to get a better view. The rain had eased down

but the crashing water at the bottom of the falls was

wafting a fine mist over them.

“Yeah.” Jack hoisted himself over the wall onto a

flat rock and Mulder followed. As they bounded onto

the next one Scully followed. “They are supposed to

live in these caves. But you can’t just walk in and

see them.”

“Walk in and see who? The boar?”

Both men stopped and turned to face Scully who was

jumping one rock behind them.

“Na Fír Beag,” Jack answered in his native tongue.

“Who?” Scully asked unaware of the scrutiny she was

receiving from both men as she jumped onto the next

flat rock.

“Leprechauns.” Jacks voice was so matter of fact

that she found it hard not to expect to see them.

“Agent Scully is part Irish,” Mulder offered

helpfully.

“Oh so she knows all about them then.”

Scully pursed her lips, jumping over to the rock

where Mulder was standing. He steadied her with an

arm around her waist and smiled at her ruffled hair.

“C’mon Scully we’re nearly there.”

“This pool is a lot deeper than it looks do be

careful.” Jack called out to them. “It’s also a

skinny dippers haven so try to keep your clothes on.”

“Pity it’s raining,” Mulder muttered earning him a

jab in ribs from Scully.

Jack had climbed up onto the small ledge and was

inching his way behind the powerful water. Scully

followed, and with a quick glance back to see if

Mulder was behind him, she carefully stepped behind

the water and met Jack in the cave.

What little sunlight managed to shine through the

water was refracted around the cave. Jack was

pulling a torch from his jacket pocket but he didn’t

switch it on. As Scully went to turn hers on; he put

his hand over hers to stop her. Without a word he

shook his head, putting a finger to his lips.

Mulder stepped in and looked between them both. He

resisted the urge to turn on his own torch as stepped

protectively up to Scully, placing a possessive hand

on her elbow.

“We can’t use the torches,” Jack whispered. “They

hide from the light.”

“We’re here to examine a crime scene Mr Byrne. That

can’t be done in the dark.” Scully’s voice was a

little higher than a whisper but her frown added all

the volume it needed.

“I understand that, but if you don’t keep your torch

off we wont get much time to examine it.”

“What do you mean?” Mulder asked.

“They’re here.” Jack walked on and slowly made his

way deeper into the darkness.

“I don’t like this Mulder.”

“We’re both armed Scully. And besides…I could do

with a pot of gold.”

“You’ll need more than lucky charms if something goes

wrong here.”

Chuckling Mulder looked up to find Jack. Barely able

to make out his shadow he walked on, dodging the low

cave roof in a few places. He felt Scully’s hand

gripping the back of his jacket as she followed

closely behind.

“Hey! Jack! Wait up!” Mulder called ahead not able to

see Jack’s shadow any more. When no one replied he

looked back at Scully who without hesitation flicked

on her torch and shone it ahead.

“Where did he go?”

A loud scream startled them both and Mulder reached

for his gun. Scully kept the torch steady as they

walked on, holding her gun rigidly by her side.

“Hello?” Mulder called out. “Yell if you can hear

me!”

Another scream from behind made them spin round to

see where it came from. Scully took a few steps back

and reached a hand out to the cave wall. It was wet

and cold beneath her fingers but it glistened beneath

her torch light with an unnatural sheen.

“Come here Mulder look at this?” He walked over and

she held the light up closer to give them a better

view.

“What is that?”

“I dunno…it looks like…it looks like gold.”

“It’s not in a pot though.”

Mulder stood away from the wall and spotted small

stream of water running on the floor but disappearing

behind a rock. He knelt lower to the ground and ran

his fingers along the streams trail feeling a breeze

as they brushed against the bottom of the rock.

Calling Scully over with her torch, he holstered his

gun and tried to move the rock but it wouldn’t budge.

Sitting back and leaning on his hands he ignored the

freezing cold water that soaked through his jeans and

levered his feet onto it to push it away. It moved a

little then with a grunt he pushed harder and it

moved away. Scrambling to his knees he followed the

water with his fingers again and found the hole that

it was flowing down.

“There is something down there. I can feel the air

rising.”

“The must be another entrance.”

Scully locked her torch onto the stream and followed

it in the other direction. Mulder was behind her

fumbling in his pocket for his own torch, but as he

pulled it free of his pocket it fell to the floor

with a splashing clatter. Following it to a curve in

the wall he grabbed it and was relieved to see it

switch on.

“I see the light Scully!” he mused, turning to follow

her, but as he swung his torch around the cave he saw

she was gone. “Scully?”

Her scream shook him right down to his bones and he

rushed forward to chase it. The ground was wet and

he fell to the floor scraping his palms but his

momentum kept him moving and with some difficulty he

got back on his feet and scrambled further into the

cave.

“Scully!” he called again louder this time and more

urgently, his heart ramming in his chest so hard he

was sure if she couldn’t hear his voice shouting she

would hear his heart calling out to her.

“Mulder…I’m down here!” he heard faintly. Stopping

all movement and even holding his breath he waited

for her to call out again. “Mulder.”

Running forward he noticed a slip in the ground where

a tunnel ran under the wall. It was pretty well

hidden but he figured she must have fallen in.

Getting down onto his chest, he got as close as he

dared to the tunnel noticing how it went into a sharp

decline.

“Scully…can you hear me?”

“Yeah Mulder. We’re down here…call the paramedics

and get help out here quickly.”

“We? Did you find Jack?”

“And the researchers. But get help Mulder…quick.”

Her voice sounded urgent so he jumped up and rushed

out to the cave entrance. Pulling his mobile phone

out he checked it for a signal but there was none.

He edged his way out onto the ledge but lost his

footing and fell down into the pool.

Splashing his way to the edge he raced down the

rocks, bouncing form surface to surface with an

agility that belied his stiff cold wet limbs. He

reached the path, watching his mobile until finally

the signal lit up. Mulder dialed the 911 emergency

services and stared in confusion as it dinged funny

noises at him, flashing a message of no such number.

“What the hell…” he tried again but it failed a

second time and then it dawned on him where he was.

“Shit…” He reset the phone and dialed 999 rejoicing

in the instant connection.

“Killarney Emergency how can I help?” the clear voice

answered.

“This is special Agent Fox Mulder with the FBI. I

need all available emergency vehicles down at Torc

Waterfall.”

“Wait hold on a sec there boy…FBI?”

“Agent Fox Mulder…with the FBI!”

“Is this you Brian?” the voice came back laughing.

“You gotta stop calling here like this. You’ll get me

in trouble.”

“Sorry this isn’t Brian look, I’m at Torc Waterfall.

Some people are trapped in the caves…they need

help.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes!” Mulder couldn’t believe what he had to go

through to call the ambulance. “Hurry!”

“I’ll send two units straight out.”

“Thank you!”

Already running up the hill, Mulder pocketed the

phone and climbed back in to the cave. He was

freezing cold and shivering from the wet clothes but

he made his way back to the tunnel entrance and

called out to Scully.

“Can you hear me Scully?”

“Yeah Mulder.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah…a bit bumped and bruised but I’m okay.”

Scully shone the light around the small cave and held

it over Jack’s pained face. He was holding his leg

at his knee and wincing at the pain he was obviously

feeling from the bloody wound. The researchers were

unconscious but she could feel slight pulses.

Removing her coat she draped it over Parsons who

seemed to be slightly worse off then Gellar.

“You okay?” Scully asked Jack as she crawled over

towards him seemingly oblivious to the small bloody

wound over her left eye.

“My knee. I think it’s broken.”

“I’m a doctor…let me see.”

Reluctantly he released his grip on the leg and tried

not to wince too much as Scully probed his knee with

her fingers. She refrained from rolling up his

trousers and pulled the scarf from his neck. Binding

it tightly in place she rested it back on the ground

and told him help would be there soon.

“It shouldn’t be long now. I can’t believe no one

checked the caves for the researchers,” she mused as

she looked them over again checking and rechecking

their pulses.

“A lot of people are afraid of these caves.”

“Because of that story?”

“You don’t put much weight into stories like that do

you?” Jack was watching her from under hooded eyes

and she wasn’t sure if he was in pain or trying to

add an air of mystery to the cave.

“No. I’m a scientist,” she replied matter of factly.

“Maybe you shouldn’t disregard everything without

proof.”

As he spoke Jack’s eyes lifted to an area behind her,

towards the tunnel they had fallen through. Scully

whipped her head around and in a flash the ghostly

outline of a young man shabbily dressed disappeared

in a cloud of mist. She blinked a few times and

shook her head but the sight was gone, replaced only

by two boot-clad feet as the rescue worker jumped

through the tunnel and landed in the middle of the

small cave.

“What have we got here then…” The seriousness of

the situation seemed to dissolve under the soft Irish

brogue of the rescue worker who was already assessing

his options.

When the emergency team arrived they went down the

tunnel with an efficiency Mulder was afraid they

wouldn’t possess. The bodies were lifted out and

carried down the waterfall to waiting ambulances.

Scully was the last to be lifted out, having waited

for all the others to go first. Jack smiled ruefully

at him as he was winched down. The waterfall did

nothing to help their decline to the path but the

rescue team didn’t even seem to notice it was there.

Finally when Scully crawled out, he helped her out of

the cave and they made their way down the waterfall

hand in hand carefully stepping from rock to rock

until the steadiness of the gravel path was beneath

their feet. Sitting on the ambulance bed in the back

of the truck, Scully let the technician sew up her

small wound and place a light bandage over it. She

still hadn’t said a word as they took Jack’s car back

into town. Leaving the keys at reception as Jack had

asked him to do, Mulder walked beside her to the

room.

“You okay Scully? You seem very quiet.”

“I’m eh, I’m fine Mulder. Just tired.”

“Well have a rest. I’m going to go to the hospital

to find out about Gellar and Parsons.”

“Okay.” He helped her out of her wet clothes and into

the bed. She had fallen asleep almost as soon as her

head touched the pillow so with a soft kiss he left

her alone and walked out.

It was some time later when Scully woke with a start.

The room was dark but it was a fading darkness that

barely shadowed the shapes and contents of the

unfamiliar surroundings. It took a moment to realize

where she was and spied Mulder laying next to her; a

warm protective arm draped over her waist. She

smiled. Rising from the bed she slowly made her way

to the bathroom and it all came flooding back.

She cupped her hands under the running taps and let

the cold-water spill over the uneven edges of her

palms for a moment before splashing the cold liquid

over her face. The immediate shock stung her temple

and she reached up and carefully padded the small

bandage. It came off easily and she cringed at the

sight of the jagged stitches over her eyebrow.

Back in her room she fumbled in her case for the

first aid kit to replace the dressing as Mulder’s

warm arms embraced her from behind. She leaned back

against his bare chest and he kissed her head.

“How are you feeling?” he asked as he loosed his grip

and let her continue search for the kit.

“Much better. What happened at the hospital yesterday

evening?” she replied immediately taking the focus

off her and into the case.

“Parsons is still in a coma but Gellar woke up this

morning. He said that he fell down into the cave and

found Charles Parsons lying there unconscious. He

yelled out for help but nobody answered.”

“How did they survive?” Scully asked sitting in front

of the mirror to apply the thin dressing over her

stitches. He stood behind her his fingers rubbing

gentle circles into her shoulders.

“Until the day before yesterday he was okay. He was

able to keep them both alive by feeding them water

from the falls that trickled down the walls.”

“Then he passed out,” she summarized turning as she

stood into the circle of his arms.

“Yeah. If we didn’t find them when we did.” Scully

didn’t reply but her arms snaked around his waist and

she held him close. “You okay?”

“Yeah.”

“I spoke to Jack. He said you got a bit of a fright

down in the cave…did something happen?”

“Happen? No nothing happened.” Mulder didn’t believe

her but her words seemed to close off any more

questions.

“So shall we go into town an see the parade?”

“It’s St Patrick’s Day today?”

“Yeah and the parade kicks off in about an hour.”

“Sure but I’d like to go into the hospital first and

see them.”

“I thought you would. Well lets get dressed and go.”

It seemed that at least one thing in this world was

universal, Dana Scully thought as she walked swiftly

through the hospital corridors. No matter which

country she was in a hospital still smelt like a

hospital. The sound of bedpans clattering to the

floor sent a nauseating shiver up her spine and old

men didn’t know how to tie robes. Mulder knew where

the rooms were so they didn’t need to ask for

directions. He led them to the researchers room

first and they were pleased to see both men awake.

“Doctor Parsons. My name is Fox Mulder.”

“Ahhh the FBI Agent who saved us.” His voice was

raspy and soft and Mulder could barely make out what

he was saying.

“Well that accolade should probably go to my partner

Dana Scully.” Mulder waved towards Scully who was

examining the chart at the end of his bed.

“Thank you very much,” he managed to say too weak to

sit up but too grateful not to smile in her

direction.

“Do you remember anything from your time down there

Dr Parsons?” Scully asked coming around to the side

of the bed and taking a closer look at his pallor.

“Nothing at all. I remember falling and a flash…I

guess that was when I banged my head.”

“What about you Professor Gellar?” Scully turned to

face the other bed and faced the other patient. His

eyes seemed to shift between the two agents but he

said remained silent, “Nothing?” Scully persisted.

“Just worrying about being found.”

Scully stared at him for a moment and Mulder almost

called her away, but it seemed she finally accepted

his answer and walked out of the room with a brief

wave. Mulder wished them well and followed her into

the corridor.

“What was all that about Scully?”

“What?”

“The third degree…what did they see? What did you

see?” he persisted taking hold of her arm.

“Nothing Mulder. Where is Jack?”

“He’s in orthopedics. This way.” They took the

elevator to the next floor and found Jack in the

communal room sitting by the window.

“Jack?” Mulder said softly not wanting to disturb the

other patients.

“Ah Mr Mulder. You’re back.”

“Agent Scully wanted to make sure everything was

okay.”

Jack’s eyes lit up at the sight of Scully walking

towards him a careful smile on her lips.

“How are you doing Jack?”

“It’s just a twisted knee. I’m going home tomorrow.”

“That’s good.” She glanced over her shoulder at

Mulder who was keeping one eye on the TV sport’s

channel. She didn’t recognize the game but it looked

like soccer. A local sport she presumed, as she

turned back to Jack grateful for Mulder’s

distraction. She stepped closer to him and rested a

hand on the table beside him “I was wondering if you

could tell me…”

“It’s not my story to tell Dana.”

“Sorry?”

“It’s not my story.” He covered her hand with one of

his own and squeezed it gently. “We both saw the same

thing so we both have to tell our own stories.”

“What did you see?” she asked tying to keep the plea

out of her voice.

“Scéalta. Scéalta Taibhse.” At her frown he smiled

a little and turned back to the window but not before

she heard his faint whisper. “Ghost stories.”

Scully stood away from the table and touched Mulder’s

elbow to let him know they were leaving. He smiled

at Jack whose focus was on the scenery out the

window. Following Scully out to the car they drove

back to the hotel and parked the rental car back in

the garage.

“What did he say?” Mulder asked unable to take the

silence any longer.

“Ghost Stories Mulder, he was talking about Ghost

stories.”

They climbed out of the car and turned walked out

onto the street in time to see a large paper maché St

Patrick drive by on the top of a lorry. Mulder

smiled and even Scully’s reverie seemed to have

melted. Taking her hand he pulled her over to the

side of the road where they could watch the rest of

the parade go by. With an arm over her shoulder he

pointed out the various floats that caught his eye.

They ate green candy floss and watched as the teams

of Irish Dancers danced by, oblivious to the wind and

light rain in their short skirts and curly hair.

“I’d really love a pint of Guinness,” Mulder muttered

as he spied the doorway to a pub behind them,

littered with parade watchers who didn’t seem to want

to commit to the rain fully.

“Guinness Mulder?”

“When in Ireland…” he said smiling as he took her

hand and led her over to the pub. Fighting his was

to the bar he ordered two pints of Guinness and

smiled at Scully as the bartender left two half full

glasses on the bar to settle. After taking the money

from Mulder, he bent lower to the glasses as if

evaluating their status then arched them under the

tap to fill them to the brim. Grabbing what looked

like a small jam jar lid from a shelf behind them he

pressed it onto the top of the creamy pint head and

gave them to Mulder.

Mulder took them and held them high above his head as

he fought his way back onto the street again. They

managed to reclaim a spot near the curb again and

Mulder handed her a pint, grinning like a fool.

Scully took it with trepidation and realized that now

they were out in the sunlight the stout wasn’t black

as she expected, but a dark green color and had a

shamrock stamped carefully onto the head in the

cream. Her eyebrow went up in surprise as she looked

to Mulder in surprise.

“Sláinte!” Mulder said clinking his glass to the side

of hers before taking a deep breath and tasting his

drink. Scully watched him swallow a big portion and

grimace at the sour taste. “Oh that’s good

Guinness…”

“Try telling your face…” she said joking before

taking her own taste. The dark green liquid was ice

cold and the taste exploded on her tongue and buzzed

all the way down to her stomach. Once the initial

surprise dissolved she was left with a cold trail of

stout that begged to be filled. Mulder watched in

amazement as she took another swallow and another

licking her lips free of the creamy residue.

“You like it Scully?”

“Oh yes. But sure Mulder I’m practically Irish, of

course I like it.” He laughed out loud delighted to

see the dark clouds of wonder had disappeared from

her eyes replaced by the now familiar twinkle of joy

that escaped when she smiled. Especially the smile he

brought out in her when he looked at her with all

that charm and love. He clinked their glasses

together again and slipped an arm around her shoulder

to hold her close as they watched the rest of the

parade. She felt a strong urge to lick the Guinness

froth from those gorgeous lips of his, but what her

mouth didn’t say her eyes made up for. Nothing in her

gaze was lost on Mulder.

Soon they too didn’t seem to notice the misty rain

that came down from the mountains and covered the

town in a damp sheen as the festivities went on

around them.

“Happy St Patrick’s Day Scully.” He bent to kiss her

and nuzzled her lips, tasting her.

“You too Mulder.”

The End.

Skinfull.

Banshee

Title: Banshee

Author: Martin Ross

Type: Casefile; St. Patrick’s Day theme

Rating: PG-13

Synopsis: Mulder recalls his college days, and a case

that screamed to be solved.

Spoilers: Fire

Disclaimer: The X-Files is the property of 10-13

Productions, Chris Carter, and Fox.

Special Agent Dana Scully stared in horror at the

pile of pink, pungently aromatic flesh before her. It

was half-covered in leaves, and she gasped as she

nudged them aside and exposed the tissues.

“Mulder,” she breathed. “This is deadly. Look at the

fat deposits.”

Her partner nodded cheerfully, mouth crammed with

corn beef and cabbage. “Try ih wif da gree’ beer. I’s

Atkins-frien’ly.”

Scully turned to the tall stein of emerald-colored

brew next to her steaming plate. “When you told me

you were taking me out for a special St. Patrick’s

Day dinner, I foolishly assumed you were taking me to

O’Mara’s Publick House for the peppercorn sirloin and

maybe some black-and-tan pudding. Not a slab of

sodium, cholesterol, and gristle buried in soggy,

overcooked cabbage.”

Mulder swallowed. “It’s all you can eat, you know.

Did I tell you that?”

Scully scanned the array of cardboard shamrocks and

leprechauns stapled to the booths of Flynn’s Capitol

Mall Pub. “I mean, Mulder, is this what our cultural

awareness has come to? Look at me – a redheaded,

Irish-American cop. But no one in my family ever

traveled to Ireland, I don’t know a single word of

Gaelic, and my priest’s name is Wozjehewski. We’re

not a melting pot – we’re like a bad cheesy

casserole.”

“C’mon, Scully, what’s wrong once a year with our

getting in touch with the Irish inside us?”

“The Irish inside us.”

“You know what I mean – the joyous, gregariously

poetic, romantic part of ourselves we button up

during our humdrum, workaday lives. Besides, on a

purely personal level, the Celtic culture is a

virtual smorgasbord of preternatural petit-fours.

Leprechauns, faeries, wraiths… Perhaps no

technologically advanced western nation is so steeped

in its belief in the unknown.”

“And thereby, I assume, hangs a tale?”

“Ah, sure, and you must have psychic abilities. . .”

**

“Well, if it isn’t the pride of Oxford Yard,” Nowicki

murmured, appearing as always in the corner of my

eye. “Things’ll kill you, son.”

“Special Agent Nowicki,” I nodded, collecting my

coneful of fish and chips and turning away from the

stall. Special Agent Kenny Nowicki was pale and

flabby, and I doubted he followed any of his frequent

avuncular health tips. “Actually, I plan to secret

this into my aberrant psych prof’s meat pie while

he’s not looking, so I can take the course over.”

“Want to be careful, Fox – Prof. Winton speaks very

highly of your skills in profiling.”

“Ah,” I said. “Have to go to the chemist’s and get

some digitalis for the dear old chap.”

This was back in the mid-’80s – disco was thankfully

dead but Reaganism was alive and kicking. I was in my

final year at Oxford, a Yank among the dons in self-

exile from trickle-down sociology, the ghost and the

demons that had dogged my adolescence, and my father,

who’d seemed as relieved to ship me off as I had been

to flee.

Three years later, I was a regular at every pub

around Oxford town, frequently tucked into a corner

discussing serial killers or the latest item in the

Fortean Times with my mentor, Dr. Byrnes, my equally

twisted and scholarly mates, or the girl I’d been

seeing.

(“Phoebe.” Scully stated it matter-of-factly, laying

it out on the table with the fatty corn beef and the

wilted cabbage.)

Phoebe Green, budding criminologist, determined

someday to become the Terror of Scotland Yard.

Nowicki, some kind of Bureau recruiter who’d surfaced

a month earlier on campus, was equally as determined

to put me in a black suit and J. Edgar Hoover decoder

ring.

“Some piece of work, that thesis you did for Winton

last term on the Lecter case,” Nowicki continued,

trailing me without stepping up his pace. “You could

probably snag an assistant directorship within five

years, you quit screwing around and came aboard.”

I turned, smiling. “Agent Nowicki, I’d love to talk

wiretaps and illegal searches over a couple

Guinnesses, but my girlfriend and I are blowing town

for the weekend, and I have to pack.”

“Where to?” Nowicki asked lightly.

“Pip, pip, Agent Nowicki,” I murmured, stepping it

up. He didn’t follow me – he never did.

**

“My, you already have your own agent-cum-major domo

attached to you,” Phoebe noted as our train trundled

toward the Dublin Ferry landing.

“I think I shall name him Jeeves.”

“Ugly Americanism at its worst. Quite seriously,

though, Fox, what are your intentions? Is there a

going market for freelance behavioral

scientist/occultists in the States? Or do you intend

to make a career of chasing flying saucers?”

I’d made the mistake one amorously candid night of

baring my soul, including the raw and aching part

where Samantha had been ripped away. The evening had

ended with a pint or so too many and a sacrilegious

episode at the grave of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

“Just evasive future coppers,” I responded lightly.

Phoebe sighed heavily, shook her head in resignation,

and turned to the green blur of Northern England

outside her window.

“Come on,” I finally murmured, reaching for her hand.

She refused it at first, then sighed and squeezed my

fingers.

“Me, evasive,” she mused. “You’re very likely the

most unfathomable mystery I’ll never solve.”

**

“Pop, this is Fox and Phoebe,” Ryan called out as he

shut the sounds of rush-hour Dublin outside.

Garren O’Mara was a large, simultaneously soft and

hard man. Ryan had told me his dad had nearly made

the pro soccer circuit as a young man, before a blown

knee had sentenced him to life in a foundry.

Ryan’s childhood home was a sorely neglected monument

to his late mother. Dried flowers – flora left to

die, not the artfully arranged flowers you might find

in a foofy boutique – languished in dusty glass vases

in long-forgotten corners.

“Fox,” O’Mara grunted, a smirk momentarily contorting

his bleak, monolithic face. He gave Phoebe the once-

over, turned, and ambled back to a filthy, ramshackle

chartreuse armchair. In seconds, Ryan’s father was

burbling and occasionally chortling over the antics

of a gaudily dressed comedian and his scantily clad

nurse.

“Well,” Ryan grinned, as if his father had performed

an oft-repeated trick. “William,” he shouted. “Get on

out here!”

I heard a pot clang in the kitchen down the dark hall

beyond the living room, and a dissipated, broken-

nosed version of Ryan lurched into the room. He

ignored me and inspected Phoebe from head to toe, a

look of frank envy momentarily souring a reckless and

hung-over grin.

“And you’d be Ryan’s chums from the school,” William

said, wiping wet hands on his jeans. “Supper’s just

about on – just beef and potatoes, I’m sure nothing

fancy like the fare they feed you at the college.”

“Stow it,” Ryan sighed.

“Yeah, guess I better watch myself in this company,

eh?” He tossed his father’s smirk at me, nodded, and

lurched back to the kitchen.

“Ah, home,” I breathed.

“Sorry,” Ryan smiled sheepishly. “Pop’s been pretty

much into his telly since Mum died, and William,

well, he’s got a hollow leg and a chip the size of

County Kilkenny on his shoulders. Always got to drink

harder and fight harder than any of the other

blokes.”

“If only he could cook harder than any of the other

blokes,” I commented to Phoebe later, as we washed

the dishes. The boiled beef had held more water than

the Titanic, and the potatoes were soft and

flavorless. Garren O’Mara was now drowning out Benny

Hill in the living room. William had disappeared for

the pubs before the food reviews could come in.

“Used to cook up a storm with Mum, when he was a

lad,” Ryan recalled. “They were great, good friends –

he’d help her out in the garden and in the kitchen —

until the old man decided he was turning into a nancy

and devoted himself to making William into the

gallant young man you now see.”

I glanced out the kitchen window. Beyond a yard of

anemic brown grass was a bare patch of clods and

long-dead vegetation. “I take it your father doesn’t

have the same green thumb.”

Ryan darkened. “It was a sore point for him, Mum and

her flowers. That was how she coped with him, I think

– the gardening, making these beautiful dry flower

arrangements. He was constantly grousing about the

flowers and garlands about the house. Said they gave

him hay fever.”

I wondered if perhaps Mrs. O’Mara had had more than

one way of coping with her brutish husband. “When did

your mom die, Ryan?”

“Three years ago,” Ryan murmured, leaning on the

kitchen table. “In fact, that’s part of why I asked

you to come for the school holiday.”

“I was curious,” I grinned. “Considering we haven’t

exchanged more than about five sentences over the

last two years.”

Ryan shrugged his athletic shoulders and glanced at a

cheap plastic clock mounted by the pantry. “Phoebe

told me you were into, ah, rather queer crimes –

supernatural stuff and the like. Well, I wondered if

you might, well, give me an opinion on a sort of

unexplained phenomenon.” He glanced again at the

clock. “It ought to be starting any minute–”

Ryan was interrupted by what I first assumed to be a

siren keening low in the distance. Phoebe nearly

dropped a plate as the sound grew into a human, but

somehow inhuman, female wailing. Somewhere in the

anguished sobs and lamentations were words I couldn’t

quite make out.

The wailing continued for at least 10 minutes, and

then trailed off into a low moan and silence. I was

unable to determine from where the cries emanated –

it was as if they came from nowhere and everywhere at

once. Phoebe and I stood in shocked silence.

I looked to Ryan, heart pounding with mild fear – and

exhilaration. “What,” I breathed, “was that?”

“Been happening every night, round about 7:30, for

the last three years,” he explained. “I think it’s my

Mum.” His head jerked toward the living room. “I

think he killed her, and she wants us to know it.”

**

“The banshee is a centuries-old Irish legend,” I told

Phoebe later in the upstairs hallway. “A disembodied

female voice, sometimes anguished and plaintive,

sometimes vengeful and menacing. According to the

literature, the banshee is supposed to be a woman who

has been torn from her family prematurely. There are

two types: The spirit whose love for those left keeps

her earthbound, guarding and protecting them; and the

banshee seeking to torment the one who took her life

from her.”

Phoebe, at the threshold to her room, smiled

tolerantly in a style I later became accustomed to.

“And which kind do you believe this particular

banshee to be? Anguished or angry?”

“Given the dynamics of this happy home, I’d be

inclined to believe a bit of both.”

The front of her terry robe was gapping, and I was

becoming eager to end this chat. But she shook her

head sadly. “Fox, how do you expect ever to gain any

credibility in forensics or law enforcement with this

paranormal rubbish? You sound like one of the London

tabs. I shudder to think of your first interview with

the FBI.”

“You sure it’s disdainful shuddering?” I suggested,

leaning into the heat of her. “I know a cure for

banshee jitters.”

Phoebe pecked me on the lips. “Night, Love.” I

retreated just in time to avoid a faceful of

splinters.

**

“And you would be Mr. Fox Mulder?”

I looked up to see an impressive paunch with a nearly

bald block of a head and a cauliflower nose floating

above it. A short white scar framed the left side of

his graying brush mustache.

“Yes, sir,” I responded, determined to stay on his

best side.

“Detective Inspector Dobbyns,” the Dublin policeman

murmured, stepping around me to the battered chair

behind his battered desk. “They keep you gathering

dust very long here?”

“No, sir – everybody was very accommodating.” In

fact, I’d been cooling my heels for 20 minutes with

only amused stares and curious glares to keep me

company.

“The squad prides itself on impeccable service. Now,

Mr. Mulder, I understand you would be here inquiring

as to a homicide case we investigated three years

ago. Are you a relation to the late lamented, or has

guilt or spontaneous remembrance of a pertinent fact

brought you here today?”

“I’m a friend of the victim’s son – we attend Oxford

together. I’m studying criminal psychology, and Ryan

asked me to see if–”

“Danny!” D.I. Dobbyns barked suddenly to a tall cop

next to a file cabinet. “Do we have any locked room

murders at hand presently? Untraceable poisonings?”

The tall cop shook his head, glancing at me.

Dobbyns turned back to me. “Tis a shame. To have an

Oxford-trained American criminologist named Fox at my

disposable and no unfathomable riddles or nefarious

schemes for him to sniff at.”

I smiled as I rose. “May the road rise up to meet

you, sir.”

“Ah, sit down, Mr. Mulder,” the D.I. chuckled,

indicating the guest chair. “The wife’s taken me off

my whiskey and sweets, so I have to find some sport.

Besides, Marty says you’re inquiring as to the O’Mara

case. That one always bothered me a bit.”

“Why?”

Dobbyns studied me carefully. “You’re a friend of the

family, is that right?”

“Just Ryan. Just the victim’s son.”

“Ah, what the hell. Never could prove it, but I

always had a bad feeling about the husband – felt

like maybe his bein’ off with his mates at the soccer

match while his wife was dying at home was a mite

convenient for him. The poison was administered in

Mrs. O’Mara’s afternoon tea – we found residue of the

substance in her cup.”

“What substance?”

“Ah, yes – you are the forensic whiz kid, aren’t you?

Glycoside, lad – a heart drug if you got a bum

ticker, deadly poison if you don’t — and a

reasonably high concentration of it. Mrs. O’Mara

tended to prefer her tea loose – used one of those

thingies—”

“An infuser?”

“Yes, that. She was down to the last dregs of her

supply that day – kept it in one of those crockery-

type affairs — and we suspicioned someone had

slipped the poison into the jar. How well do you know

Mr. O’Mara?”

“I’ve met him,” I said, dryly. “I won’t leap from my

chair to defend his honor.”

“Indeed. Well, as I’m sure is true in the States, the

loving spouse is not infrequently the focus in many

homicide investigations. And a more tantalizing focal

point one could not wish for. Many’s the time the

boys’d drop in on the O’Maras to maintain the

neighborhood peace, and Mrs. O’Mara was no stranger

to the local dispensary. But, as an erudite Oxford

criminalist such as yourself might guess, all of our

attempts to remove the problem from, well, the

‘situation,’ were fruitless. And we didn’t let this

out, but the late lamented showed signs of brutality

— two broken fingers, according to the police

surgeon, broken after death.”

“So you liked Garren for the murder. Or you would

have liked him for it.”

Dobbyns’ mustache shifted. “I will confess, I would

have liked to have clapped the irons on old Garren.

He was all that the world hates in an Irishman –

drunk, foul temper, and as mean as an old boar off

his feed. Unfortunately, that’s no longer enough for

Her Majesty’s Bench. While I could picture Garren

O’Mara bludgeoning his dear wife or knocking her down

the front stairs, poisoning did not quite suit the

man. Not to mention that we could find no evidence of

him purchasing or otherwise securing the glycoside.”

“Any other suspects? The sons?”

“Your friend Ryan was completely in the clear – he’d

been on holiday with his chums for the previous week

in the south. The other boy, ah…”

“William?”

“Yes, that. Well, young William appeared to have a

bit of what you might call a furtive nature about

him. Sensitive lad.”

“Sensitive?” I gasped.

“You don’t think all that bluff and swagger of young

William’s isn’t just a performance for his sorry old

man? I’m sure you’ve spied that limp of his, and at

the time his poor mother was killed, he was nursing a

knot on his neck near the size of a hedge apple. And

all of the neighbors swore the boyo was devoted to

his mother, which I’m certain endeared him to old

Garren. There was some talk of him being involved

with a woman – an older woman. A neighbor lady told

us as how she’d seen him and what appeared to be some

older woman roaming the house whilst his folks were

out.”

“An older woman?”

“The neighbor lady described her as ‘dowdy,’ dressed

like a middle-aged woman. One of the fellows came up

with the rather weak theory some strumpet had got her

hooks into young William and talked him into doing

something dire to get his mother out of the picture.

But we couldn’t find any sign of such a relationship,

and what would this older woman have gotten out of

William or his dear mother? You’ve seen their

palace.”

“So the case just went unsolved.”

“Until you walked into our hallowed halls, praise the

Lord above. Now, how might you convince me to blow

the cobwebs off this woefully neglected casefile?”

I took a breath. “I assume you’ve heard of banshees…”

**

“And that, I assume, is when you found yourself on

the street, wondering why the good inspector couldn’t

simply open himself to the possibilities.”

Mulder frowned bleakly at Scully. “Hey, I was young.”

Scully sputtered. “Oh, yeah – things have really

changed.”

The band was warming up now – three reedy young men

with wispy facial hair plucked out test notes while a

fetching but strongly built redhead caressed the

mouthpiece of her lute. Mulder eyed the lute player

with interest.

“Yes, things have really changed,” Scully repeated,

more darkly.

**

I nearly dislocated my shoulder yanking on the

O’Mara’s doorknob. Ryan had told me to just come back

in when I finished sightseeing, that he’d leave the

door unlocked. I rapped on the weathered frame, and

in a second, Ryan’s ruddy face appeared beyond the

yellowed lace curtain.

“Thought you were gonna do the town,” he breathed,

with what I perceived to be a slightly plaintive

tone. That’s when I noted Ryan’s cheeks were ruddier

than usual, and he seemed winded.

I smiled. “Got hungry, and I left my money in my

jeans.”

Ryan nodded wordlessly, and jerked his head toward

the kitchen. As he turned, I could see the back of

his sweatshirt was tucked half in and half out of his

jeans. It took a second longer to realize the shirt

was on backwards. I quickly scanned the living room

and parlor for Phoebe.

Garren O’Mara was sitting up at the kitchen table,

his broad back to us. I could smell cold meat and

mustard.

“Mr. O’Mar—” I began, heading for the chair opposite

him, then stopped dead.

Ryan was raiding the fridge. “Hey, Pop, why don’t you

go easy on Will. Some day, he may just decide to give

you a good thump on the–”

“Ryan,” I advised quietly. He turned, and all blood

fled his cheeks.

“Dear Lord,” he whispered, staring wide-eyed into his

deceased father’s equally wide eyes. Garren O’Mara’s

jowly face was locked in a look of terror, his

fingers locked into a fear-mangled sandwich. Mustard

had oozed between his digits.

Ryan collapsed into a chair, his jaw slack. “It

must’ve been the row he had with William when he came

in from the pub. Don’t know what it was about, but

there was an awful commotion, and I could hear

William stomp up the stairs. I suppose it was one

tantrum two many for ‘im.”

As I examined O’Mara for any sign of foul play, I

unconsciously recorded Ryan’s strangely secondhand

report of the domestic disturbance and the fact that

Phoebe still hadn’t shown herself.

“Or maybe one too many manifestations,” I mumbled.

“Oh, come on,” Ryan snorted, irritably. “So now, you

think he was murdered by some kind of wraith or

spirit? Mum?”

“Look at his face, Ryan. That’s pure horror. Maybe

this time, she actually materialized.”

“God’s sake, Fox!”

“What are you boys –?” Phoebe halted in the kitchen

doorway. Her sleek hair, I noted, was neatly brushed.

Too neatly, as if she’d just had to. . . “My God. Is

he. . .?”

“That he is,” Ryan said quietly.

Phoebe rushed into the kitchen and threw her arms

around Ryan’s neck. “I’m so sorry.” She caught my

eye, and the look on Phoebe’s face made me glance

away, something sharp but shapeless forming in my

gut…

**

The wake for Garren O’Mara was held two days later at

the O’Mara residence. It was attended largely by

solicitous neighbors, friends of Eileen O’Mara who

periodically cast neutral eyes toward the photo of

Garren on the long-unused hearth, and Garren’s

coworkers – a morose lot drawn primarily to the table

of donated food. The parish priest dropped by for a

few moments, stumbled over an anecdote or two about

Garren’s infrequent episodes of humor and humanity,

and hastily left us with the distinct impression the

dear departed would not be chatting up his deceased

wife any time soon.

The police had come to call after Ryan summoned an

ambulance for his father. D.I. Dobbyns was not among

them.

Neither had Eileen O’Mara made an appearance since

the passing of her surviving husband.

The police surgeon cleared the air of any homicidal

suspicions a day later, when the post-mortem revealed

that a life of red meat, cheese, potatoes, and fried

pub food had laid waste to Garren O’Mara’s arterial

network. I made no mention of my own theories on the

case – Ryan preferred to believe his father had

stared horror-stricken into the face of his own

mortality, rather than that of his dead bride – and

Ryan busily attended to his father’s arrangements

while William nestled into a cocoon of silence and

Phoebe and I avoided conversation and contact where

possible.

“You’d be the young American fellow?” I looked

around, and then down, at the diminutive old woman

whose face was as finely webbed as the lace shawl

about her shoulders.

“Yes, ma’am,” I smiled, transferring my whiskey glass

to my left hand and grasping her thin fingers

delicately. “Fox Mulder. I’m a friend of Ryan’s.”

“I’m Maureen Cragan – I live a door to the south. Tis

a shame, for the boys, I mean, even if he was an

awful creature.”

“Mr. O’Mara?”

“I suppose it must sound awful – I’ll have to say a

dozen Hail Marys tonight.” I then noticed her

worrying a rosary in her arthritically clawed left

hand. “I knew Eileen and her people when she was but

a child, and what she ever saw in that brutish ogre

is anyone’s guess.” Mrs. Cragan waggled a finger at

me, rattling her rosary. I leaned over, and could

smell fermented barley on her breath. “I still

believe he did ‘er in.”

“What makes you think so?”

“There was a lot odd went on in this house. The old

bastard would just whale something awful on those two

young boys, on the least little provocation. She was

the peacemaker, Eileen was, always getting between

Garren’s belt and the children, and sometimes losing.

But always cheerful on the outside, she was – always

had a kind word to say, brought me over one of her

beautiful garlands whenever I had a birthday or one

of my sisters or brothers passed on. I don’t think

she had any idea William was carrying on with that

brazen woman under her own roof until the day she

died.”

I steered her toward the couch. “I’d heard you’d seen

them together. You sure they were having a romantic

relationship.”

“Well, I never saw them locked in the throes of

passion, if that’s what you mean. But she looked as

if she was old enough to be Eileen. I suspect that’s

what they were going on about so the day she passed

on. I was having my afternoon tea and crocheting when

I heard an awful row going up next door. I’m not a

prying sort, but I caught a peek at the two of them

through the side window. They were yelling and crying

to beat the band, the both of them, then he stormed

out. I went about my business, and after a while, she

came out to tend to her flowers and shrubs.”

I perked. “That seems strange. I mean, that Mrs.

O’Mara would have a violent argument with her son,

then just start gardening.”

“That was like her – surrounded by heartache and

misery, retreating to her little patch of beauty out

back of the house. Garren hated that – that she had a

refuge from him. I noticed the day after she died –

when her body was barely cold – that the miserable

old beast had ripped everything out, every flower and

stick.”

I eyed the beads between her gnarled fingers as a

notion took hold. It was a disturbing notion, but it

made sense.

“I don’t want to seem forward, Mrs. Cragan…” I began.

“I wonder if you could answer a kind of strange

question for me, and then do me a great favor.”

A second later, I caught sight of both Ryan and

Phoebe staring curiously as I escorted Mrs. Cragan

through the front door.

**

I found William on the rear stoop, sucking

thoughtfully on a Player. As I lowered myself onto

the step beside him, he looked up, startled.

“Want one?” he stammered, proffering the pack. I

shook my head. “Had to get away for a few, you know?

Pop’s mates are as bad as those old biddies from the

block. Telling me what a fine man my old man was,

like the old bastard had a friend down at that plant

of his. They just come for the liquor and the eats.”

“Must’ve been pretty rough after both your mother and

your brother left you alone here, huh?” I asked.

William looked straight ahead, blowing a plume of

smoke. “The old man just kept getting meaner and

drunker every night, so I’d stay out with my chums

’til all hours. ‘Cept however late I’d get home, he’d

still be up drinking. And the more she screamed at

him, the more he’d drink, mostly ’til he’d pass out

in that chair of his. Guess Ryan still thinks the old

man killed her, eh?”

“I know he didn’t directly. So do you, don’t you?”

William froze, then pitched his cigarette into the

scrubby grass and jumped up. “Now you’re saying I

killed my own Mum? I ought to smash your face.”

“No one killed your mother, William,” I said calmly

but firmly. “You know that. You came home after your

argument with her the day she died, didn’t you? But

the poison had already done its work.

“See, there were three really weird things about your

mother’s death. One was the broken fingers — fingers

broken after her death, as if something were removed

from them. You accidentally broke them prying the

rosary out of her hand. As a good Catholic woman,

she knew what she was doing was a mortal sin, and was

praying for forgiveness when you found her. You

didn’t want anyone, especially your dad, to know she

had committed suicide.”

William glared down at me for a long second, and a

tear rolled down his stubbled cheek.

“Then there was the question of why after a violent

and tearful argument with her son, your mother went

out to her garden. I think the answer to that puzzle

ties in with our third mystery: Why your father would

have torn out your mother’s garden after her murder.

It’s a totally illogical act. Unless someone was

getting rid of some evidence.” I pointed toward a

bare spot in the corner of the yard. “What was back

there, William?

“I’m guessing an oleander shrub. Oleander nemeris is

one of the most toxic plants on earth – one leaf is

enough to kill you. And there were a number of

oleander leaves in the garland she gave Mrs. Cragan

for her last birthday.

“Your mother took an oleander leaf, maybe two, from

the shrub out here and ground it into her tea. When

you were young, she’d probably told you and your

brother to be careful around some of the plants back

here. You’re smarter than you want anyone around you

to know — when you realized she’d poisoned herself,

again to protect her, you tore out anything the

police might be able to trace to her death. If anyone

spotted you, they’d probably chalk it up to angry

grief.”

William was now sobbing silently, hands over his

face.

“William,” I said. “William, look at me. You need

help. This is too much to carry alone. And I don’t

just mean the knowledge of your mother’s suicide or

what blame you believe you have to shoulder in it.”

“And what do you mean?”

I looked up. Ryan was standing over me, his square

jaw tight, his arms crossed over his chest.

“What do you mean, Fox?” he asked.

I rose and turned to Ryan. “I mean that your brother

needs help. He’s been sitting on a secret for years.

He’s confused, and he’s in pain.”

Ryan’s eyes didn’t leave mine. “That true, William?”

Eyes raw, his brother nodded.

“You go on ahead in, William. Everyone’s leaving, and

we’ll talk shortly.”

William sniffed and headed past us. I patted his arm

and he made a weak gesture in return.

“All right, Fox,” Ryan said as the door closed. “You

want to tell me why you’re playing psychiatrist with

my family? You have a complaint with me, why don’t

you talk to me? It’s about Phoebe, right?”

I shook my head. “Whatever, Ryan. You’d better talk

to your brother. He’s a mess.”

“And what’s wrong with him?”

I headed past Ryan. “I think you should talk to him

yourself.”

An iron hand locked on my forearm. “What’s wrong with

my brother?”

I explained it as concisely as I could.

Ryan nodded.

And then he broke my nose.

**

“I took the train back to Oxford the next morning,

alone,” Mulder said. “Phoebe said Ryan needed

consolation. I suggested he needed something else.

And that was pretty much it. I saw the two of them

together around campus a few times over the next

month or so, and then I saw them not together. Phoebe

and I eventually talked it out, and we agreed to be

friends. Which, of course, means she agreed. We

graduated, Phoebe went to Scotland Yard, Agent

Nowicki offered me free dental and I joined the FBI.

Another beer?”

Scully nodded slowly, then frowned and shook her

head. “Wait a minute. What happened to the banshee?”

“There was no banshee,” Mulder said. “Never was.

That’s my point. The subconscious often sometimes

grabs onto superstition and cultural belief when the

truth is too much for the conscious mind to grasp.”

“Are you trying to tell me William O’Mara

manufactured the banshee?”

“Not consciously. There are reams of case studies

documenting poltergeist phenomena linked to

psychokinetic activity. I think William’s bottled-up

emotions and impulses finally spilled out in the form

of psychic energy.”

“Just what was this terrible secret he was keeping,

anyway? What did it have to do with Eileen O’Mara’s

death?” Scully snapped her fingers. “The banshee was

William’s subconscious way of punishing his father

for his role in his mother’s death. Did he kill

Garren?”

Mulder shook his head. “You mean, scare him to death?

No. I think Garren O’Mara died of a mixture of

cholesterol, booze, and mental overload. I don’t know

why William decided that day to face his father –

maybe it was Ryan’s visit, the realization of the

potential he was cheating himself out of – but in the

words of Brother Jack, old Garren just couldn’t

handle the truth.”

“Which was?” Scully breathed, impatiently.

“Let’s profile William O’Mara, Scully. A sensitive

boy, close to his mother, not too interested in

sports or manly pursuits until his father beats the

living snot out of him. Then he starts to

overcompensate, becomes a swaggering drinker.

According to his brother, a terrific cook who

purposely botches a meal to perpetuate his manly

image.”

Scully winced, fingered the cross about her neck. “No

wonder it was such a tinderbox, William and his

father boxed up in that cramped little house. A

devout, Irish Catholic family; a blue-collar,

testosterone-driven father. Of course, he’d try to

deny his homosexuality.”

Mulder leaned back as the band launched into a

melancholy ballad of love and glory. “If it had only

been that. Eileen O’Mara was the backbone of their

family – she had been for years. I don’t think the

news of William’s homosexuality would have been

enough to make her commit one of the gravest of

mortal sins in Catholicism.

“No, let’s take this a step further. I began to

suspect something was very out-of-whack about William

the first time I met him. He virtually ignored me

when we were introduced, but he practically gave

Phoebe a complete physical exam. And there was a look

on his face of pure, unadulterated envy. At the time,

I thought he envied me for having this drop-dead

gorgeous girlfriend.”

“A little horsey through the face. . .” Scully

mumbled.

“Focus, Scully. I was wrong: William’s envy had

nothing to do with what I had that he couldn’t. It

was what Phoebe had. I’m sure you’ve heard of

dysphora. An extreme form of gender confusion, apart

from homosexuality or transvestitism. William had a

far less violent but no less emotionally wrenching

form.

“At the wake, I asked Mrs. Cragan if she’d ever seen

William and this unknown lover of his – the dowdy

woman who dressed like William’s mother – together,

at precisely the same time. The answer was no. I

think the day she died, Eileen O’Mara walked in on

her son and the ‘other woman.’ She’d been keeping the

peace in her family for years, battling first to

please her implacable husband, then to keep her sons

safe from Garren. When she realized what kind of all-

out war was about to break out between Garren and

William, I think Eileen had reached the end of her

endurance.”

A raucous burst of applause marked the end of the

band’s set. Scully’s brow wrinkled as she absorbed

her partner’s comments, and she was startled when the

tall redhead from the band materialized at their

booth.

“Fox,” the woman exclaimed warmly. She locked Mulder

in a firm embrace; he smiled sheepishly. The lute

player beamed happily at Scully.

“And this would be your partner, Dana.” Scully’s hand

was encased by firm fingers. “She’s quite a lovely

little thing – I hope you don’t mind me saying so,

dear.”

“Not at all,” Scully flushed. “And you are?”

“Eileen,” the musician sang. “Your friend and I are

good chums from ‘way back.”

“Everything going well, Eileen?” Mulder inquired.

“Happier than. . .” She glanced mischievously about

the pub and its faux-Gaelic décor. “Happier than

Paddy’s pig. Look, I got to touch up my blush a bit

before the next set.”

“Live long and prosper, Eileen,” Mulder winked. The

woman kissed his cheek and moved on with the

slightest of limps.

The mug was almost to Scully’s lips before her eyes

widened. She lowered the glass and stared at Mulder.

“Eileen?”

Her partner smiled crookedly. “Ryan was pretty pissed

off when I told him about his brother, but he

realized William needed some counseling and made sure

he got it. Luckily, socialized medicine, while often

shoddy, allowed William to afford the psychotherapy

and surgery he needed to exorcise his demons.

“See, Scully, William’s subconscious mind filtered

his inner fears and torment through his own cultural

context. The banshee that haunted the O’Mara clan

wasn’t Eileen, watching over her broken family or

indicting her unpunished murderer. It was the woman

inside William, literally screaming to get out.”

end

Love’s a Beach

TITLE: Love’s A Beach

AUTHOR: XSketch

SUMMARY: It’s Valentine’s Day…and Mulder’s ditched

Scully again.

CATEGORY: Vignette, casefile, MSR

RATING: PG-13

ARCHIVE: Two weeks exclusive to IMTP’s VS11, and

then I’d be honored for you to use it – as long as

you keep my name attached and let me know where so I

can visit!

FEEDBACK: Proudly begged for at

sketchney@ntlworld.com!

SPOILERS: Nope (I’ve been very good this time

<g>)…’cept, maybe, Vickie Moseley’s VS11 ‘Great

Balls Of Fire’

DISCLAIMER: Oh, please! Look, they’re NOT mine –

never were, never will be! I’m just giving them an

airing. Chris Carter, 1013 and co. own them, and all

complaints about where the show ended up going are

encouraged to be sent to them!

AUTHOR’S NOTES: Written for VS11’s Valentine’s Day

special. The Lithuanian and Norse myths mentioned do

exist…Wish I could claim to have come up with

those, but I can’t. 😦 I read it and just *had* to

make the M&S connection!

This is for GG7 – for being the first person to prod

me into writing!

*****************************************************

**************

LUVLITE LAKE, CONNECTICUT

FEBRUARY 13th, 2004

5:17 PM

*This* was the best time for a stroll along the

beach.

Everyone was making their way home, the business was

winding down and the sun was setting. Quiet,

tranquil, and hers for the taking whenever she wanted

it.

Yep: the best time for sure.

Of course, why they were even open for business in

February when it was freezing cold and the December

snow had barely thawed still befuddled her, but it

was her husband Olev’s decision and he owned the

place; it was best to let him just get on with it.

…If only, one day, he would make the time and get

his head out of the books long enough to share this

special walk with her… That didn’t look set to be

happening any time soon, though – not even with

Valentine’s Day just around the corner – so she

stopped at the water’s edge and let out a sigh in

appreciation of the fact that she could experience

this at all.

The moment of tranquillity quickly and unexpectedly

changed into one of confused shock, however, as the

clear blue lake turned a sickly shade of amber and

the small tide dispensed two objects shaped like

teardrops at her feet.

XxXxXxXxX

“It was her.”

Fox Mulder glanced up at the tanned, Dutch-accented

man that had just uttered the words, and then

frowned.

The call had come on his cellphone from the Tolland

County sheriff at 5:12 this morning, and he had

almost turned it down… ‘Almost’ being the operative

word, of course. Fifteen minutes later he had left

the apartment and the peacefully slumbering Scully in

favour of solving this as soon as possible.

“Who? Your wife?” he queried, glancing out at the

expanse of golden water and then back at the man.

Olev Johansen gave a scoff of laughter and shook his

head. “No!” As quickly as it had departed, the

seriousness returned to his face. “The mermaid

lady,” he whispered for dramatic effect.

Mulder could be gullible…No, not gullible – more

‘open-minded’… about things, but even he had come

far enough to be able to give the man a skeptical

glance. He was just thankful his partner wasn’t here

to see it, otherwise she’d be either checking him for

a head injury or gloating with ‘I told you this case

was a waste of time!’

“I hear the mermaid lady’s story when I small boy…

I no believe… I still don’t. But be it her or

something else, I need my water back fresh – I lose

customers all time beach closed,” Olev explained.

“I-I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable

explanation, sir,” Mulder faltered, lowering his head

to stare at the two objects in the evidence bag that

he held. “And I’m sure we’ll be able to open the

beach before too much business is lost.” A pause,

and then, “But, about this mermaid: what’s the

story?”

So, he was curious! Was that such a surprise?

“In Baltic Sea, lady fall in love with fisher-man…but

that is pissing off Perkunas because it make the

water impure.” Johansen paused as he noticed the

dawning realization on the FBI agent’s face. He

wasn’t deterred from telling his story for long

though, and after a deep breath he continued, “So

fisher-man was killed with great bolt of lightning in

the palace, and mermaid lady was chained to ruins.

But it said she cry – she cry a lot for loss of

fisher-man, and her tears colour the sea… Maybe she

freed from palace and now she cry here…at my lake.”

“Mister Johansen, you’re talking about a myth

centuries old… Believe me, given many other

scenarios I would have every reason to think that a

myth may be connected to the crime… I just don’t

think it’s the case here.” What the hell was coming

out of his mouth!? Mulder quickly shut it before he

told the man he was crazy, and then crouched down to

collect a sample of the coloured water.

“You no think? It may be old story, but I think it

true…Melba agree, and she not often do that for

things she know I learn from my papa,” the tanned man

countered, combing a shaky hand through his greasy

hair. “I think it very likely – especially today of

all days.”

Mulder capped the tube before shooting the man a

questioning glance. “Huh?”

“February 14th, of course!”

February 14th?…Febr–

Oh, crap.

Valentine’s Day…

…And he had ditched Scully…

XxXxXxXxX

GEORGETOWN, WASHINGTON D.C

HALF AN HOUR EARLIER…

Dana Scully turned over and reached across the

bed…only to find the space beside her empty. Her

eyes immediately flung open and looked around the

room, but there was no sign of her partner.

Since he’d moved into her apartment three weeks ago

she had learnt a couple extra perks and quirks about

him that she never thought possible (after all,

they’d always spent so much time together whilst on a

case and in the rest of their personal time… What

made cohabiting so different?), but nine times out of

ten he was always there in the bed with her when she

awoke – always ready to prove to her again just how

much he really did love her, even though it would

make them late for work if he did.

Today they had the day off, and she was adamant on

the idea of making this Valentine’s Day work, with

neither of them ending up in hospital.

…Maybe he’d gone for a jog…

Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Scully padded into

the living room and then the kitchen.

She quickly stepped back, though, as the image of his

running shoes next to the front door registered in

her mind.

“Mulder?”

A search throughout the whole apartment and several

more sharp calls of his name turned up no Mulder.

However, another visual sweep of the living room

revealed the folded note on the coffee table.

‘Scully,

Please don’t load your gun yet! I got a

call from the sheriff in Tolland County early this

morning about some lake changing color all of a

sudden… It sounds fairly simple, and I know you need

the rest so I didn’t want to wake you. I’ll solve it

and be home ASAP, unscathed – I promise.

Yours always, M’

The paper fell to the floor as the anger inside her

rose. She was going to kill him this time, for sure.

Ditching her was one thing, but in the morning and on

today of all days… A death sentence was definitely

called for.

After an unsuccessful attempt at calling his number,

she phoned the sheriff to gain all the information

she could (wishing she could kill him as well for

calling her partner out).

“Oh, yeah,” the voice down the line apologized. “I

didn’t think he’d mind – I’ve heard that that kind of

thing is what you investigate.”

“It is, Sheriff Gusmano, but we usually take

assignments via our assistant director,” Dana

seethed, barely able to contain the murderous rage

boiling in her veins. Of course Mulder wouldn’t

mind! She, on the other hand…

“All I can do is apologize, agent. As it is I’ve

been trying to contact your partner to apologise for

wasting his time an–”

“Wasting his time?”

“Well, yeah… We found out the cause of the colour-

change in the Johansens’ lake, and it ain’t anything

paranormal, I can assure you,” Gusmano explained.

“I’ve been trying to pass the information on to your

partner, but he’s not answering his phone. I was

just about to drive out there when y–”

“No, don’t worry about doing that,” she suddenly cut

in – a plan forming in her mind. This would be the

perfect chance to punish him for ditching her!

“Where did you say he was again?” She could turn up

and then watch his face as she debunked whatever

crazy theory he had concocted with the sheriff’s

explanation.

“Luvlite Lake Beach and Boat Club.”

“Thanks. Thank you very much.”

XxXxXxXxX

As Olev Johansen made his way up the decked stairs to

look for his wife, Mulder sat down in the rental car,

booted up his laptop and then – with a couple of

clicks – opened the ‘Myths And Legends’ program

Scully had given him two Christmases ago.

“Ah, Scully, you know what I like,” he grinned (as he

had then), typing ‘Baltic Sea – Perkunus’ into the

search bar.

When the results brought back an alternate spelling

and two listed articles, he opened the first and

begun to read.

Needless to say, it was pretty much exactly what the

Dutchman had described to him.

At the bottom of the page, however, was printed the

sentence ‘Recalls myth of Freya – the Norse goddess

of Love and Fertility – who cried tears of amber into

the sea after losing her husband, Odur’. Immediately

he typed that name into the program, and was reading

the almost identical tale when the sound of

approaching footsteps caught his attention.

“Melba is okay… She speak to you now,” Johansen

awkwardly smiled, resting a hand on the top of the

open car door.

Mulder gave an appreciative nod and then followed the

man up to the clubhouse.

XxXxXxXxX

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 14th, 2004

1:57 PM

Two and a half hours, three cups of coffee and one

bathroom break later Mulder moved back out to the

beach no nearer to solving this case than he had been

when he’d first arrived. Melba Johansen had seen

nothing, the trees that surrounded the small building

showed no signs of UFO activity, and the only theory

he had to work with was the myth of a grieving

mermaid goddess.

Pretty standard X-File, then…

With a defeated sigh, he glanced down at his watch.

Two o’clock… Scully would have concocted a perfect

torture plan for him by now – heck, she’d have come

up with it five seconds after reading his note! He

couldn’t really blame her – forgetting Valentine’s

Day and ditching her aside, he had then worsened the

situation by not bothering to call her.

He reached into his jacket pocket for his phone, only

to find it not there.

“You seem to have this habit of leaving things

behind: Unlocked car, laptop, cellular

phone…partner…”

Mulder looked up to see Scully standing against the

front of his car with her arms folded across her

chest and the stern expression on her face that could

kill a thousand men on the spot in a heartbeat.

“Scully… Hey!” That’s it, Mulder, play it cool.

“When did you get here?” Approaching, he smiled –

trying to let his happiness to see her outweigh the

fear of what she was going to do to him.

Dana stood still, watching his tall frame as he

stopped directly in front of her. She was still

angry with him, but as she stared at his face and

noticed the guilt it unsuccessfully tried to hide

from her, it was a difficult internal battle to stay

that way.

“I think the words you’re looking for are ‘I’m sorry

I ditched you yet again, Scully. What can I do to

make it up to you?'” came her cold response.

He grimaced.

“Mulder, one of these days you’re gonna learn you

can’t chase after every little case that drops in

your lap, and that I don’t particularly like being

left behind – without warning – on one of our rare

days off,” Scully asserted – arms unfolding and both

hands moving to rest against her hips.

“I’m sorry, Scully. Really, I am – I did leave you a

note to let you know where I’d gone…” came his

hesitant defence. “But we could be witness to a myth

becoming reali–”

“No, we’re not, and other than coming to kick your

ass to Kingdom Come, I’m here to let you know that

your work here is done – there is no case.”

“The water suddenly turned amber! Of course there’s

a case, and I think it’s connected to an old Norse

tale…”

“Believe me, Mulder, there is no X-File here.”

Scully’s features softened and she outstretched a

hand to gently touch the end of his jacket sleeve.

Sometimes she hated having to tell him that there was

a rational explanation because of all the hard work

he put in – no matter how big a jerk he could be.

“Sheriff Gusmano got word of the real answer you’re

looking for and has been trying to pass it on to

you…but guess who left their phone on silent and in

the car?” The all-too-familiar raised eyebrow

appeared.

“You have the answer?”

She smiled triumphantly as the crestfallen expression

on his face deepened. “Ohhh yes… But you’re not

going to like it.” The hand on his arm raised to

rest on his shoulder and then turn him so he was

looking out at the water. “See that building beyond

the trees on the other side of the lake?” Her other

hand outstretched to point at the dark spot on the

horizon, and he nodded. “It’s a waste disposal

plant.”

Mulder’s shoulders abruptly slumped and his head

snapped round to stare at her.

“Yesterday there was an unexpected leak and somehow

it all overflowed into the Johansens’ beautiful lake

– contaminating the water,” Dana continued. “That’s

why the water suddenly changed colour. But the

sheriff wasn’t handed the incident report until about

the same time you were flying to Logan.”

It was the most logical thing he’d heard thus far,

but still Mulder didn’t want to believe her, so he

quickly reached into the car and pulled out the

evidence he’d collected. “Well, what are these

then?” he enquired, holding up the bag with the two

teardrop-shaped objects in.

“Uh…” Scully paused and had to break eye contact

briefly. “Mulder, what did you used to do with your

fish when they died?”

“I flushed th– They’re not, are they?”

A nod of her head and the bag sharply fell from his

grasp.

“So, this…?” He presented the plastic tube to her,

then removed the lid and lifted it to his nose to

sniff the yellow liquid. A second later disgust

washed over his face and he quickly emptied the

contents out onto the sand at his feet. “Jeez… I

really…I really screwed up this time, didn’t I?”

Scully shook her head and reached for his hand – her

anger a memory she was okay to put aside at least

until later. “When don’t you?” she smiled. “It’s

what makes you unique, though – you mess up so many

times, but you still fight for what you believe in,

survive and beat the bad guys. As annoying as you

can be, I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

“But I ruined today…I ruined your Valentine’s

Day…”

“Very true, and I will make you pay for doing that,

as well as for ditching me. But the day is still

young, there’s still plenty of time for you to buy me

something…” A pause to flash him a mischievous

grin. “…And maybe we can hunt down a decent

restaurant to go to before flying back.”

“In podunk Connecticut?” Mulder groaned.

“It’s worth a try, isn’t it?”

He nodded as she gave his hand a squeeze. “Okay.

I’ll just go tell the Johansens I’m leaving.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

He was just moving back towards the clubhouse when

her voice suddenly called out, “Besides, you forgot,

Mulder, that you need me around to help you find the

answers!”

He turned, smiled, gave a nod of his head and mouthed

the word ‘Always’ before continuing on his way.

XxXxXxXxX

TWENTY MINUTES LATER

Having had her patience stretched to breaking point,

Scully was briskly walking toward the clubhouse when

her partner suddenly re-appeared.

“Sorry about that, Scully, but I do come bearing good

news and a plan to make this day worthwhile,” he

panted.

“You’d better,” she grunted in reply.

He looked hurt at her lack of belief in him (even

though he knew at the same time that he’d given her

no reason to have otherwise), but boldly continued,

“Have you got the overnight bag in the trunk?”

“Mulder?”

“Just bear with me: obviously the Johansens have

gotta shut the place down ’til the lake’s been

completely decontaminated, and they’ve made plans to

disappear for a few days… So, I kinda asked them if

we could stop here – just for tonight – and they

happily gave me the keys to the place. Even gave me

directions to a nice dining spot a couple miles

away.” Mulder paused and smiled at the mixture of

happiness, shock, love and confusion he saw in her

eyes. “What d’ you think?”

Think? She had to *think*?! She couldn’t even

speak! Yet again his tenderness and desire to always

make sure she was happy overwhelmed her. At the back

of her mind she vaguely remembered that she should be

angry with him, but that was too distant a memory to

care about right now.

“Scully? Did I screw up again?”

“Whuh–? Mul– No! No…No, you didn’t. Are you

sure they’re okay with that? I mean, you didn’t tell

them we’re FBI partners, did you? Because if word

gets back–”

“Yes they are okay with that, and no I didn’t tell

’em you were my work partner – give me some credit,

g-woman. I told ’em I have this beautiful girl that

I’m dating but always take far too much for granted,

and that I’d forgotten it was Valentine’s Day so I

wanted to make it up to her…” He paused and a

devillish grin lit his face as he added, finally,

“And then I held them both at gunpoint and demanded

they hand over the keys or I’d shoot–”

“*Mulder!*”

“What? That’s what you wanted to hear, isn’t it?”

Dana shook her head, reached up onto tiptoe to kiss

his cheek and then wrapped her arms around him. “So,

what now?”

“I got the map here… Why don’t we go grab a meal?”

“Yes please – I haven’t eaten since last night and

I’m starved…”

“So am I, but how about we save that for after?”

A playful slap on his arm from her, a hearty laugh

from him and then together they made their way toward

his parked car.

XxXxXxXxX

LUVLITE LAKE

7:22 PM

“Come with me down to the beach.”

Mulder looked down at Scully, who had suddenly tugged

at his hand as he was about to ascend the path to the

clubhouse. Already this evening had proven to be one

he would remember always thanks to the meal they had

just shared. The prospect of walking the beach in

the moonlight with the woman he loved so much was an

added bonus he hadn’t stopped to consider.

“Come on,” she persisted with a breathy whisper.

“Scully, the water’s full of piss and shit!”

“So are you a lot of the time, but I still kiss you!”

To prove her point she reached up and pressed her

lips against his (the mixture of her desire and the

wine she’d consumed at the restaurant immediately

intoxicating his senses). “Come on,…We don’t have to

go near the water. I just…I just wanna walk along

the beach with you.”

Nothing more needed to be said, and he happily

obliged her.

XxXxXxXxX

Ten minutes later they were settled on the sand –

Scully sitting between Mulder’s spread legs and

resting back against his chest.

“I had come up with about a hundred different ways to

torture you for ditching me this morning, you know,”

she sighed as his arms encircled her.

“Mm… I’d guessed as much… What were the chief

runners?”

“Making you clean my apartment from top to bottom for

a month, singing to you, making you learn to rinse

your mouth out with water when you’ve cleaned your

teeth instead of coffee – although I’m planning on

working with you on that one anyway, so don’t get too

cocky… Uh, inviting Bill ’round for dinner and

making you stay…”

“Wow, I’m glad I got you drunk instead so that you

forgot you had to be angry with me!” he chuckled,

resting the side of his head against hers. “I don’t

think I could have survived that much punishment!”

“Hmm…”

The humour quickly faded away and a thick layer of

tense silence smothered them for a moment. Finally,

though, his hold on her increased and he whispered

against her ear, “I don’t like leaving you behind,

Scully. As you said yourself, I need you by my side

if I’m ever to find the answers professionally or

privately. But when I got the call from the sheriff

this morning I just couldn’t say no, even though it

seemed a waste of time. It killed me to have to

leave you behind, but I thought you could do with a

little rest, and I didn’t wanna pull you out to the

middle of nowhere for another pointless case… Not

that I’m saying I knew it was just gonna be two

petrified fish and a lake full of the county’s toilet

sewage–”

“I know. Let’s just forget it and enjoy what’s left

of today.” One of Dana’s hands reached up and

stroked down his cheek as he kissed her earlobe.

“Jurate,” came his deep sigh.

“What? Who?”

“I was just thinking about Jurate – the mermaid

Mister Johansen told me about – I read up about her

on that CD-ROM you gave me for Christmas. Apparently

she had originally gone to visit Kastytis – a

fisherman who was hunting in her kingdom – to stop

him fishing, but she fell deeply in love with him

instead… I was thinking about how much you remind

me of her… I mean, you were sent to debunk me, but

instead you worked *with* me and helped me. And

when, when They realised Their mistake, They tried

everything to separate us.” Mulder swallowed and his

eyes slipped shut as he remembered the day she had

walked through his office door for the very first

time. “You became my everything, though – my

world…dependable, held together and always so

caring.”

After a heartbeat or two to let his words sink in,

Dana cleared her throat and then twisted in his arms

so that she could stare at him. “You’re forgetting

something, though, Mulder,” she whispered, never

breaking eye contact.

“What?”

“Didn’t that story finish badly?”

“Yeah. A sea goddess in love with a mortal was

frowned upon, so–”

“Shhh,” she cut him off, placing her cool fingers

against his lips. A little shuffling, a few more

twists and she was kneeling in front of him – her

hands resting on his neck. “How about we create our

own myth…and give it a happy ending?”

He was beaming from ear to ear as he leaned forward

and they shared a passionate kiss. “I think I like

that idea a lot, Dr. Scully,” he breathed.

“And how about we sit here for a few more minutes and

then go inside?”

“How about we just stay out here under the safety of

the stars?”

It was Scully’s turn to grin, and she did so as she

nodded her agreement and then moved to sit down in

front of him yet again.

Not long after, they showed each other how much they

appreciated what they had together every day of the

year – not just today – under the watchful eyes of

the gods.

Even the goddesses of the sea stopped crying to

smile.

=====

THE END

=====

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘Don’t wake me up

If I should be dreaming

I don’t wanna miss

One minute of this dream’

-‘Oceans Away’ by G. Pitney

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To those I promised MT to: sorry! It seemed much

more fun contained

in Scully’s mind…if not just better for the story

🙂 Whether you

liked it or not, though, I’d love to read your views

at

sketchney@ntlworld.com!!! …Please?!

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

Just Me and You

This story is based on characters created by

Chris Carter and Ten Thirteen Productions.

Characters used without permission. No

infringement intended.

TITLE: Just Me and You

AUTHOR: Jo-Ann Lassiter

EMAIL ADDRESS: Jolassi555@cs.com

DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT: Two weeks exclusive on

VS10. Then post anywhere. Thanks.

RATING: PG-13

CLASSIFICATION: S, R

SUMMARY: When another agent keeps hitting on

Scully, Mulder and Scully decide to take

advantage of his inability to take “No” for an

answer.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Written for VS11 Valentine’s Day

Challenge. M&S are a couple, but only Skinner is

aware of their relationship.

THANKS: To Gerry, for the super-speedy beta!

Los Angeles Field Office

Conference Room “A”

Feb 11

10:52 a.m.

“Whoa!”

The lust-filled exclamation came from the blond-

haired, blue-eyed muscle-beach type to Mulder’s

left. When he looked up to see what had so

captured the other agent’s attention, his eyes

lit up when he saw who it was. “Put your tongue

back in your mouth, move down one seat, and I

just might introduce you, Evans.”

Mulder had flown to the L.A. office two days ago

as part of a ten-day terrorism task force.

Scully had been invited, too, but a prior

obligation at Quantico had delayed her

departure.

Mulder had almost laughed when Skinner informed

them that their expertise in domestic terrorism

had qualified them for the task force. Mulder

had always referred to that period in their

careers as ‘shit patrol.’ Who knew that

investigating all those ‘piles of manure’ would

lead to their becoming ‘experts’ in the field of

domestic terrorism?

“You know her?” Evans asked, nudging Mulder with

his elbow at the exact moment Scully spotted

him. The smile she gave him had the dual

pleasure of cheering him up and making muscle

boy’s mouth drop open in astonishment.

As Scully was approaching him, she frowned at

the already-filled seats on both sides of him.

Mulder whispered to Evans, “You gonna move, or

do you want to remain in the dark about the

lovely Agent Scully?”

Evans leered at Scully while he answered Mulder.

“I think I can find out on my own, Mulder. Given

the choice between me and Agent Bulldog over

there, who do you think she’ll choose to

converse with?”

“You’d be surprised,” Mulder said under his

breath, none too pleased that he’d be denied the

opportunity to play footsie with his partner

after two whole days’ absence.

Mulder never wanted to hug Scully more than when

she reached the two of them, took in the empty

chair to Evans’s left, smiled sweetly and said

to the tanned hunk, “Would you mind sliding over

so that I can sit next to my partner?”

Grinning like a fool as Evans had no choice but

to comply, Mulder pulled out the chair for her

after a much-subdued Evans settled in the empty

chair. “Have a good flight?” he asked her.

Eyes darting to the agent still giving Scully

his full attention, she answered, “It was a

little boring, actually. Not even a crying baby

on hand to break the monotony.”

Receiving her underlying message loud and clear,

Mulder nodded in understanding. His flight out

had been lonely, and he’d missed her, too.

The clearing of a throat next to Scully

disturbed their reunion; Mulder schooled his

expression not to reflect the scowl he wanted to

wear at the other man’s interruption. “Something

I can do for you, Evans?” he asked.

“I believe you were going to introduce me?” the

agent said.

“That was if you moved when I asked you to. You

didn’t.”

Still facing Mulder, her back to the other

agent, Scully raised her eyebrows before turning

in her seat. She offered her right hand to

Evans. “I’m Dana Scully, Mulder’s partner.”

Evans took her hand and raised it to his lips.

“Paul Evans,” he said, kissing the back of her

hand. Some of the agents gathered at the long

conference table snickered, while others

groaned. Mulder wasn’t certain what to make of

it, but he knew he didn’t like it.

The female agent to Mulder’s right–Robertson,

Mulder thought her name was–elbowed him. “You

might want to warn your partner. Evans thinks

he’s Romeo, Don Juan and Casanova all rolled

into one. Not that he’s wrong about that, mind

you, but…” The agent glanced at Evans. “He’s a

little short in the scruples department–at

least where it comes to women. He’ll ask her out

even if she’s married; even if she tells him

flat out she’s not interested, he’ll keep at it

until he gets his way–and he usually does.”

Mulder was appalled. “Married women consent to

go out with him? Why?”

The agent looked at Mulder as if he was a total

blockhead. “Are you kidding? Look at him! He’s

gorgeous!”

“But that shouldn’t matter,” Mulder sputtered.

“If she loves her husband–”

“They can’t help themselves, Agent Mulder.

There’s something about him…” The agent was

lost in thought for a moment before she shook

herself out of it. Sighing, she met his eyes.

“Trust me. I know several married women who’ve

gone out with him.” She glanced at Scully and

Evans conversing in low tones. “Once Paul turns

on the charm, it’s like one switch gets turned

off, and another gets turned on.” She gazed at

him pointedly. “And I do mean ‘turned on.’

So…” She glanced at Scully again. “If she

means as much to you as I think she does, you’d

better keep her away from him.”

Though concerned that Robertson may have guessed

at his and Scully’s relationship, Mulder was

more concerned about her revelations. Surely no

one man could have that much natural persuasive

ability? Certainly not ever over his Scully. She

loved him too much to ever betray him like that.

“Hey,” he said, tapping her hand. “The meeting’s

about to start. Do you want to grab some lunch

afterward?”

“Excuse me, Paul,” Scully said to Evans, and he

broke off mid-sentence with a frown marring his

perfect features. When she turned to Mulder with

a relieved look on her face, and rolled her eyes

with no mistaking that it was intended for

Evans, Mulder’s spirits lifted considerably.

“What did you say, Mulder?”

He couldn’t prevent his smile even if he’d

wanted to. “I asked if you’d like to get some

lunch with me after the meeting.”

“Well, Paul asked me to join him…”

Mulder felt his face fall at her words.

“…but I told him about those cases you and I

needed to confer over, and we’d already planned

to do it at lunch.”

Mulder brightened again. She was a quick

thinker, she was. And then he realized that he

needed to do some quick thinking of his own.

“Oh. Right. Right. I’d forgotten we’d already

set that up.” He peered around Scully to look at

the other agent who was *still* watching Scully.

“Tough luck, Evans. We have quite a few cases to

review. Should take us several days, at least.”

Evans presented him with a dazzling smile. “Not

to worry, Mulder. I’m sure I’ll find *some* way

to steal the lovely Agent Scully away for a meal

or two.”

Looking distinctly uncomfortable, Scully turned

back around so that she was facing forward in

her seat. When the moderator indicated that they

should refer to the materials in front of them,

Mulder, too, gave his attention over to the

speaker. The matter of Evans hitting on his

woman would have to be put out of his mind.

At least for the moment.

**

12:37 p.m.

The lights dimmed, the first slide was

displayed, and Scully nearly jumped out of her

skin.

His back to her, his full attention on the

presentation, Mulder never gave her a glance.

This was a fine time for him to finally become

the model agent.

Turning to the rapidly-becoming-annoying man

behind her, Scully bestowed upon him the full

extent of her glare. “What the hell do you think

you’re doing?” she whispered.

“You looked a little tense,” his smooth-as-silk

voice cooed, as he continued skimming his

fingertips along her back and side.

“Agent Evans, unless you want to be brought up

on sexual harassment charges, I suggest you

remove your hands.” When he didn’t still his

movements, she hissed, “*Now.*”

Chuckling softly, appearing not the least

intimidated by her words or by her withering

scowl, he returned his hands to rest before him

on the table, the very picture of innocence.

Trying not to scrape her chair along the floor,

Scully moved it as close to Mulder as she could

get without sitting in his lap. When Mulder

looked back quizzically, Scully shook her head

and indicated that he should continue watching

the slide show.

Still distracted by the material being shown,

Mulder nodded and faced the screen again.

Scully spent her time divided between studiously

ignoring the irritant behind her and

concentrating on the business she was there for.

She didn’t have much luck at either.

**

Conference Room “A”

1:45 p.m.

Lunch with his partner, as it happened, had not

been an option. At precisely 1:30, trays of

sandwiches, salads, cookies, and beverages had

been delivered to the conference room. They were

given a half-hour break to gather a meal, visit

the rest room, go for a smoke, etc., before they

got back to business.

After returning from the men’s room, Mulder

decided to check out the cookie tray. He

returned to his seat to find Evans monopolizing

his partner’s attention once again. This time,

however, there was a definite lapse in Scully’s

manners as she turned away from the still-

talking Evans with not even a hint of apology.

She met the question in his eyes with an

uncertain smile.

“Something wrong?” he asked so that only she

could hear.

Lips pressed tightly together, she shook her

head. “Nothing I can’t handle.” He handed her a

bakery-style chocolate chip cookie, which she

accepted with a distracted smile.

“Thanks,” she said softly. In a hushed voice she

asked, “When do we get out of here?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. This is the first

day they’ve done anything like this.”

She leaned in a little closer, after a quick

glance at her watch. “We have a few minutes yet.

Why don’t we get some air?”

Knowing that they didn’t have enough time left

to go outside and back, he nonetheless agreed.

“Sure.”

Once they were safely away from anyone else,

Scully stopped. “When we get back in there, I

want to change seats with you.”

Mulder nodded slowly. “Hit on you again, did

he?”

She looked quickly at him, then turned away.

“That’s not what bothers me.”

“He hit on you after you told him you were

seeing someone,” Mulder said flatly.

Her head snapped up. “You knew? You knew he

would do that, and you let me–”

“Hold on; hold on, Scully. I found out only

after you were already sitting next to him.

Agent Robertson told me what he would probably

do. She, uh…” He took a breath, then let it

out. “She, uh, said if you meant as much to me

as she thought you did, I’d better keep you away

from him.”

“Humph,” she sniffed. “Well, as much as I abhor

being thought of as an object in need of

protection, in this case I waive my right to be

offended if you tell him to back the hell off.

And what do you mean she said if I meant as much

to you as she thought I did? What have you been

telling these people?”

Mulder blinked, awed that she had been able to

get all that out without pausing for so much as

a breath in between thoughts. “Uh, I, uh…

didn’t tell anybody anything!” he finished a

little irritated that she had somehow managed to

make this his fault.

Scully placed a calming hand on his arm, and it

had the desired effect. He glanced down at her

hand, then back up. “I’m sorry,” he said at the

same time she said it to him.

They shared an easy laugh, and then he directed

her into the unused office in front of which

they had been talking. After closing the door,

he leaned back against it. “I don’t know how she

guessed,” he said quietly. “It’s not like I

*try* to wear my heart on my sleeve, but…” He

shrugged. “She probably saw my reaction when I

first saw you come into the conference room.”

Her eyes met his, and he adored the dreamy

quality in them as she thought back to that

moment. She smiled. “Yes, I can see where she

might have reached that conclusion.”

Mulder returned her smile, then checked the time

on his watch. “We’d better get back.”

Scully nodded, a bit regretfully, Mulder was

happy to note. “Don’t forget to run

interference,” she reminded him as they walked

back to the meeting. “I don’t want to be held

responsible for putting an agent into the

hospital.”

His hand on the doorknob to the conference room,

Mulder laughed. “The only downside to that would

be that you’d probably get suspended.”

As she moved into the room, she glanced at

Evans, who shone his million kilowatt smile her

way.

“Might be worth it,” he heard her mutter.

**

Sheraton Universal Hotel

Scully’s Room

9:36 p.m.

Emerging from the bathroom dressed in her

pajamas, Scully yawned widely. When a knock came

on the door to her room, she continued on and

threw it open, a big smile on her face for who

would be waiting on the other side.

Somewhat taken aback to find Agent Evans and his

perfect white teeth gleaming at her, she

scrambled for her robe, pulling it on and

covering up as much as she could. Damn this

hotel for putting her and Mulder on separate

floors. She would never have opened the door

without checking if they’d been in their usual

adjoining rooms. The next time she was too tired

to think about who might be lurking behind her

door, she’d make damned sure that Mulder didn’t

go anywhere so she wouldn’t have to worry about

having to think about who was behind the damned

door!

“Agent Evans,” she said, not trying to disguise

her displeasure at his unannounced–and

unwelcome–visit. “What do you want?”

His smile faltered only slightly. “I do

apologize for the late hour.” He took a step

forward, looking deep into her eyes. “But I

couldn’t stop thinking of you. I know you said

you’re seeing someone, but I just can’t help

myself. You’ve… There’s something in you that

draws me like a magnet. I can’t put a name to

it, but I’m unable to resist the pull.”

Scully wanted to roll her eyes, then figured,

what the hell, and did. He was a damned fine

actor, she’d give him that.

Apparently not used to his advances being

rejected and especially not to their being

ridiculed, the grin coalesced into an open-

mouthed stare.

Now that was more like it! Scully thought. She

wondered if this man had ever had an honest

emotion in his life. She may be witnessing a

first!

Finally gathering his wits about him, Evans held

out a white paper bag. “I was passing my

favorite chocolatier, and the image of your

enjoying that chocolate chip cookie appeared to

me.”

Now it was Scully’s turn to stare. Chocolatier?

And what the hell was he doing watching her eat?

“So I thought,” he continued, blithely, “‘I must

buy her one of Mademoiselle Francine’s

truffles.” With what could only be described as

a flair, he drew an exquisitely-wrapped box from

the bag, presenting it to her. “Then I thought,

no, a creature as elegant as the very lovely

Dana deserves an entire box.”

Trying not to guffaw at Evans’s syrupy-phony

delivery, Scully hid her laugh behind her hand

as a cough. “I’m sorry, Agent Evans–”

“Paul,” he interrupted, breathily. “I wish you’d

call me Paul.”

She had to look away before she laughed in his

face. Were women actually attracted to this

magnificent-looking, yet empty vessel of a man?

The anger she’d felt at his earlier attempts had

quickly downgraded to amusement. “Paul,” she

started, her voice shaky with repressed

laughter, “I really can’t–”

“But you must,” he insisted, shoving the box

toward her. “Even if nothing ever comes of…”

He paused dramatically. “…us…” She looked up

in time to see him batting his eyelashes like

Rudolph Valentino, then had to look back down

before she lost it. “…I want you to accept

these as a token of my esteem.”

Desperate now to get rid of him before she

laughed in his face, she grabbed the box. “Okay.

Thanks,” she said, giving him a push and closing

the door.

She stood at the door a moment, listening to his

unsteady footsteps moving away, then she threw

herself face down onto her bed and laughed

hysterically into her pillow.

Oh. My. God. After that smooth come-on, Mulder

had better keep a *really* close eye on her.

**

Scully’s Room

One minute later

Mulder used the key Scully’d given him to open

her door, freezing when he caught sight of her

on her bed, shoulders shaking and muffled cries

escaping her mouth.

Recovering quickly, he pushed the door closed

and hastened to her side. “What is it? What

happened? Are you all right?”

She shook her head, and Mulder felt tears

prickling his eyes. He laid his hands gently on

her shoulders. “What is it, honey?” he asked,

trying to keep the fear out of his voice,

especially when she started shaking harder.

“Mulder… Oh, God, Mulder. He…” More shaking

and wailing.

Catching sight of the candy box lying near her,

the pieces suddenly fell into place. “Where is

he?” he roared. “What did that son of a bitch do

to you?”

“He…” She couldn’t catch her breath, she was

crying so hard. Mulder felt torn between beating

Evans to a pulp and comforting the woman he

loved.

“Scully, honey, please…” Reaching down, he

hauled her up into his arms, free hand ready to

dry her tears.

And there were tears. Plenty of them.

But the woman for whom he was about to kill a

man was laughing. She was laughing so hard he

feared she might give herself an aneurysm.

Annoyed and relieved at the same time, he moved

her out to arm’s length. “Scully, what the

hell…”

When she met his gaze, something she saw in his

eyes must have affected her, because she sobered

almost immediately. “Oh, Mulder, I’m sorry. I

didn’t mean to worry you.”

He shrugged, then smiled sheepishly. “It’s my

job to worry about you.” His lips twitched

uncertainly. “And don’t I do it so well?”

Suddenly, she hurled herself into his arms.

“God, I love you,” she said, hugging him

tightly.

Hugging her back, happy but confused, he asked,

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

She laughed, then pressed her lips to his in a

brief, but passion-filled kiss. “I’m just so

glad you’re real.”

Mulder wondered what the hell she was talking

about. “Scully, did something happen here that I

should know about?” He remembered the box on the

bed. “Where did that candy come from?”

At his words, Scully dissolved into giggles.

“From him.”

He felt her tongue on his neck and almost forgot

his train of thought. “Who? Evans?”

“Mm hm,” she hummed against his carotid. “He got

them at his favorite chocolatier.”

Did he hear right? “Chocolatier?”

Scully let loose an honest-to-God guffaw.

“That’s what the man said.” She pulled out of

his embrace and looked into his eyes; he was

enthralled by the mirth dancing in hers.

“Truffles.” She indicated the elaborately-

decorated container, smiling smugly. “He was

going to buy one, but I merited a whole box.”

Rolling over, she snatched up the box, then

unceremoniously destroyed the intricate covering

as she ripped it off. “Want one?”

He frowned. She was offering him something

another man had given her. He wasn’t altogether

sure he liked that. It meant she’d accepted it.

“Scully–” he started, but her finger on his

lips put a stop to whatever he had thought about

saying.

“Mul-der,” she sang. “Truf-fulls.” Opening the

box, she waved it under his nose. “From a choc-

la-tier.” She took one out and placed it on her

tongue. “Mmmm…” she groaned, and Mulder

thought he might have to kiss Agent Evans the

next time he saw him. The man may be a nitwit,

but he had good taste in aphrodisiacs.

How unfortunate, Mulder thought, that Evans’s

evening hadn’t worked out as well as Mulder’s

was about to.

**

L.A. Field Office

February 12

9:06 a.m.

“Did you enjoy the truffles, Dana?” Evans asked.

She thought back to her evening with Mulder, and

the many variations they’d discovered for the

care and feeding of truffles. “Oh, yes. They

were marvelous.”

The agent beamed. “Then can I persuade you to

have dinner with me tonight?”

“Paul, I told you: I can’t. I’m seeing someone.”

“Aw, come on, Dana.” Evans shuffled his feet in

what Scully was sure he thought was an endearing

way. “It’s just dinner. You have to eat.”

She nodded. “I eat dinner alone or with my

partner.”

He pounced on that tidbit as she knew he would.

“If you can eat with him, it should be no

different to take a meal with me. We’re both

agents with the Federal Bureau of Investigation,

after all.” He followed up with dazzling smile

#26.

“It is *not* the same, Paul.” She patted his

hand. “But it was a good try anyway.”

She left him with what she was sure was becoming

a new category of expression for him: open-

mouthed awe #2.

**

Feb 13

7:20 p.m.

“Come on, Mulder!” She banged on the door to his

bathroom until he emerged, all clean-shaven and

resplendent in his recently-purchased Knicks

jersey. “Hurry up, or we’ll miss the kick-off,

or whatever they call it in basketball.”

“Tipoff. It’s called the tipoff.” Grabbing his

jacket, he followed her out the door. “Tell me

again how you got Knicks/Lakers tickets?”

Turning around, she wore an expression of

exasperation. “I’ve told you three times

already.”

He couldn’t stop his grin. “Some things never

get old, Scully.”

She sighed, but he knew it was all a sham. She

loved telling it as much as he loved hearing it.

“I was in the break room when you were

‘persuaded’ to take a look at that case…”

This was the part of the story that gave Mulder

a sour taste in his mouth. While it was true

that Evans had been working on a case, the part

about possible extraterrestrial involvement had

been pure fabrication. Although wary, Mulder had

followed Evans’s partner, Bob Michaels, to his

third-floor office to take a look. After about

three minutes, Mulder realized that he’d been

set up. The ‘case’ wasn’t–it was a collection

of what Evans and Michaels thought a case

involving aliens should contain.

When he realized that the local boys were using

him to have a little fun, he’d closed the folder

and walked out of the room, Michaels calling

after him, asking him where he was going. No

longer concerned with courtesy, Mulder had just

ignored him. He’d felt like an idiot, and

wondered if the entire task force was in on it,

or only the two L.A. office agents.

Upon returning to the break room and seeing

Evans once again turning on the charm with his

partner, Mulder was actually relieved. That

meant it was most likely something Evans had

cooked up to get rid of him, not something

they’d come up with to make fun of him. He’d

settled himself on a sofa near the door, got

comfortable, and waited.

Scully had not disappointed. When she turned on

her heel and walked away, Evans had once again

been wearing the slack-jawed face that Mulder

was coming to know and love. She’d given Mulder

the eyebrow on her way out, and he’d followed

her like the trained puppy he was. Once they’d

returned to the hotel and he’d gotten

comfortable on her bed, she’d presented him with

her prize.

At first thrilled, he’d snatched them out of her

hands, marveling at the great seats. Then he

thought about it and wanted to know just how

she’d come about them. Were there any strings he

should know about? Was anything required on her

part? Had she agreed to anything he didn’t

really want to know about, but needed to anyway?

She’d shaken her head, while wearing the most

perfect Cheshire cat grin he’d ever seen. And

then she’d told him.

“I didn’t know how long you’d be, so I’d gotten

a cup of coffee and a cheese danish to tide me

over until we could get dinner.” She looked up

at him. “That’s when he intercepted me.” She

shook her head. “You know, I should feel guilty

about this, but I just can’t bring myself to

feel that way.” She shrugged. “Anyway, he

stepped right into my path. Right into my cup of

hot coffee.” Looking up into his eyes, she

sighed. “God, I was so looking forward to that

coffee.”

Mulder laughed.

“I think he was expecting sympathy… actually,

I think he stepped into that coffee

intentionally just so I’d feel bad for him…”

She waved her hands in front of her. “Never

mind. Anyway, there he was gasping and moaning

about hot coffee and a new shirt, and I stood

there, pissed off because he’d made me spill my

coffee…

“And then it must have occurred to him that I

wasn’t buying into the sympathy angle because he

buttoned his jacket over the stain, and gave me

that billion megawatt smile.”

This was one of the parts Mulder made her act

out. “Come on, Scully, let’s see it,” he prodded

her.

Smiling indulgently at him, she stuck out her

chin and gave an exaggerated version of Evans’s

‘look-at-me-I’m-stunningly-handsome’ full-

toothed smile.

Mulder couldn’t help it; he chortled. She was

just so damned cute when she was making fun of

someone who deserved it. “Go on. Go on. Tell me

what came next.”

Rolling her eyes, she shook her head. “Honestly,

Mulder. You know what happened next.”

He nodded emphatically. “But you tell it so

well.” He gave her the puppy dogs. “Please?”

She gave him a look that said she knew exactly

what he was doing, but she was going to give in

anyway. “Out of politeness, I asked him if he

was all right, and he said, ‘Not to worry, my

dear Dana.’ Then he asked me if I liked

basketball. I told him, ‘It’s okay,’ and

evidently that was good enough for him, because

he told me had two tickets for tonight’s game,

and asked me if I’d like to go.”

“For one brief second, I felt that twinge of

guilt, but I got over it fast enough once I

remembered what a slime he was. So I said,

“Sure, thanks,” took the tickets and walked

away.” She raised an eyebrow. “That’s when I saw

you by the door, and you know the rest.”

He applauded. “That is so classic, Scully. I

mean, I’ve seen it happen in a movie, but it’s

usually to some poor lovesick geek, and he’s

been taken by some callous way-out-of-his-league

cheerleader or something. But for you to do it

to that…” He searched for just the right

description.

“Sleazeball,” she provided helpfully.

He looked at her, surprised, then nodded.

“Sleazeball. He is, that and more, for hitting

on you, and right in front of me!”

“Mulder…”

“I know he doesn’t know, but he knows you belong

to *some*one, and it doesn’t matter to him. I

wish you’d let me beat him up. Just a little.”

She stared at him a bit incredulously. “Have you

taken a close look at him, Mulder? He’d kill

you!”

Mulder met her stare with one of his own. “Never

doubt the strength of a jealous man. Never doubt

that love is stronger than…” He sputtered

while trying to come up with the perfect word.

“…sleazeballs!” he finished, triumphantly.

She took hold of his arm with both her hands,

smiling up at him. “Your Oxford education is

showing,” she whispered. Then she pulled them to

a stop, stood on her tiptoes, and kissed him on

the cheek. “That’s for showing remarkable

restraint in the face of an untenable

situation.”

He was a little disappointed that that’s all he

was going to get, until he saw her wink, and

then he knew.

Even if his team didn’t win, their number one

fan was going to score tonight.

**

L.A. Field Office

February 14

2:23 p.m.

“You know, Dana, that wasn’t a very nice thing

to do.” Paul Evans cornered her in the break

room, not five seconds after Mulder left for the

men’s room. Sitting in Mulder’s seat, he moved

it to face her.

She narrowed her eyes in suspicion, wondering

how long he’d been watching them, waiting for

this opportunity when she was alone. “What you

do isn’t very nice, either, Agent Evans. I’ve

told you repeatedly that I’m seeing someone, and

yet you still insist on trying to get me to go

out with you.”

“Dana, Dana… You misunderstand me. I’m not

trying to take you away from anyone. I just want

to spend a little time with you. Share a dinner,

take in a ball game… where’s the harm in

that?”

“Rationalize it all you want. You’re still

trying to date someone who’s already taken.” She

fixed him with a glare. “And someone who’s not

interested. God, Evans, can’t you take a hint?”

As she rose to get up, he laid a hand on her

arm. “Wait!” Her head snapped up to greet him

with the anger she felt reflected in her eyes.

“…Please. I just want to know…” He looked

down at the table, an air of genuine defeat

about him. “Why don’t you like me?”

She sighed. “I don’t even know you, Paul. You

haven’t given me that chance. The minute you see

me, you hit on me. You don’t talk *to* me, you

talk *at* me. You cook up some scheme to get my

partner away–that was way out of line, by the

way, what you and your partner did to him. Why

on earth would I want to date someone like that?

Can you tell me?”

Expecting to see remorse on his face, she was

somewhat surprised by the smug expression he

wore instead. “Yeah, ol’ Spooky didn’t fall for

our ‘case,’ but we dangled that alien carrot in

his face long enough to get him interested. I

don’t see how someone like him ever got you for

a partner.”

“Someone like him?” she asked, icicles dripping

from every syllable.

“Yeah. You’ve gotta know what everyone thinks

about that freak.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Come on. You must hear it… The guy’s off his

rocker. Always chasing after ghosts, monsters

and aliens. And look at his family… Little

green men kidnapped his sister, his father

murdered in his own house, his mother offing

herself because he–”

Whatever else Evans was going to say, Scully

would never know, because it was at that point

that she decked him.

As she was rubbing her sore knuckles, two things

happened simultaneously: the entire room broke

out in applause, and she saw Mulder standing in

the doorway, smile sadly, and leave.

**

Corridor Outside of Break Room

2:27 p.m.

Scully caught him as he knew she must. “Mulder!”

she called, and he waited until she was beside

him. “Are you all right?”

He nodded. The thing was… he felt pretty good.

Granted, what Evans said hurt–it always did, no

matter how much he might say it didn’t–but

seeing Scully pop that blowhard in the nose was

worth it. Hearing the other agents cheering

about it was an added plus.

“Are you sure?” Her concern for him was

adorable, especially standing there sucking on

her abraded knuckles.

He took hold of her elbow, and guided her down

the corridor, into a conveniently-located

janitor’s closet, flicking on the light switch

before closing the door. “That was the single

most erotic thing I’ve ever seen,” he told her,

taking her sore hand and bringing her knuckles

to his mouth.

She looked at him a moment, shocked, and then

she started to laugh. “Here I was worried that

you were going to get all maudlin on me, and you

were turned on?”

He nodded emphatically. “Very.”

She shook her head. “Do women hitting men always

turn you on?”

He shook his head. “Only you. Only you hitting

other men while defending my honor.”

Again, she laughed, and he was more aroused by

the sound of it. “I can’t go back to that

meeting.”

Her laughter stopped, and she placed a

comforting hand on his arm. “You *are* upset.”

He looked down at the bulge in his pants. “Well,

you got the ‘up’ part right.”

She followed his gaze, and the comforting hand

gave him a light smack. “I can’t take you

anywhere.”

He shook his head happily. “Nope.” Then he

sobered. “What will we miss if we leave? What’s

left for today?”

Reaching into her jacket pocket, Scully pulled

out the agenda. “Uhmm…” She looked up quickly.

“You’re not going to believe this.”

His brows furrowed in question. “What?”

She pointed at the sheet of paper. “Evans.

Giving a presentation on manure.”

He smiled in amazement. “You’re kidding!”

Grinning, she shook her head. “For real. Look.”

She held the schedule so he could see.

He read about the last presentation of the day,

then looked up at her. “There’s no way we can

get through that with any modicum of dignity.”

Scully suddenly gasped. “I wonder if I broke his

nose. Maybe he can’t do it.”

Mulder shrugged. “He deserved it.” Tilting her

face up to him with a finger under her chin, he

kissed her lightly on the lips. “Not just for

what he said about me, but for the way he’s been

disrespecting you, the way he disrespects all

women–and their significant others. He deserved

that, and so much more.”

“I suppose,” she said, looking away, sounding

uncertain.

Now was the time, he thought, for him to give it

to her. “But your timing was a little off,” he

said.

She met his eyes again. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I was waiting for him to make us a

reservation at a really nice restaurant…”

His words had the desired effect, and she

laughed.

“One with soft music, dancing, candlelight…

all those romantic cliches.”

“Mulder, you do know how to sweet talk a girl,

don’t you?”

“Only you, Scully. Only you.” He reached into

his pocket and took out a small box.

“What’s that?” she asked.

“Well, it’s not brass knuckles…”

She rubbed her sore fingers. “It’s a little too

late anyway; I really could have used them

earlier.”

“I said it’s *not* brass knuckles–”

“Oh. Right. Sorry.” She grinned. “Well, what

then? What is it?”

“It’s Valentine’s Day today.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I gathered that by all

the hearts and flowers you bestowed upon me

earlier.”

His head snapped up. “What? I didn’t–”

“It’s just too easy,” she laughed.

“Humph. Maybe I should keep this.” Turning

around, he made a show of opening the box and

peeking inside. “I’d look quite fetching in it,

you know. I’d be the envy of all the other boys

in the office.”

She tugged on his arm. “Mulder, come on. Quit

stalling and give me my present.”

Now that the moment was here, he wasn’t too sure

about what he was about to do. Perhaps he should

have followed tradition and given her chocolates

or flowers or some appropriately-themed jewelry.

Would she think he was trying to get out of

buying her a *real* present? Maybe she’d laugh

at his pathetic attempt to be romantic. He

fingered the box in his pocket, looked at the

excited anticipation in her eyes, and chickened

out.

He pulled out a half-empty box of candy

conversation hearts instead. Then he realized

that they were even cheesier than his ‘real’

gift. He tucked them back in before she could

see them.

“So you *did* get me candy, after all,” she

laughed, her words proving that the eye–at

least hers–was faster than the hand.

“Uhh… No. Not really,” he stammered, starting

to feel more than a little ridiculous for what,

at the time, had seemed not only romantic, but a

true representation of what he felt and where he

wanted their relationship to go.

“Mulder,” she said gently, apparently picking up

on his feelings of doubt. “Whatever it is, I’m

sure I’ll love it.”

He shook his head. “It’s nothing like what

you’re expecting.”

She laughed. “If there’s one thing I learned

from all my time with you, it’s that *nothing*

from you is ever what I expect. You always

manage to surprise me.”

He looked down at the floor. “Then you’ll

definitely be surprised by this.” Taking a deep

breath, he pulled out the box and thrust it at

her. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” he mumbled

nervously.

Instead of taking the box, Scully closed her

hand over his. “Why don’t you keep this until

you think I’m ready to accept it?”

“Scully, it’s not… Well, not exactly.” Meeting

her eyes, he saw love and understanding. He took

another deep breath. “I want you to have it

now.”

She watched his face a moment, then nodded.

“Okay.”

After she let go, he held it out to her in his

palm. She plucked it out carefully, then looked

up at him before opening it. Swallowing

apprehensively, he nodded, and she cracked the

lid.

She stared at it for a minute, and he knew she

was wondering just what in the heck it was.

“It’s–”

“A love token,” she finished, picking up the

cup-shaped coin. After examining it for a

second, she gazed up at him. “A Lincoln penny? I

thought these were from medieval times.”

He scraped a foot along the floor. “Well, the

tradition is from medieval times. It was

customary for a man to bend a copper coin and

give it to his sweetheart as a token of his love

and…” He glanced into her eyes before looking

away again. “…intention of marriage.”

Her lips formed an ‘Oh,’ but the word was not

vocalized.

“Um… The rest of the tradition is that they

were never spent and were always carried by the

woman as a demonstration of her loyalty and as a

constant reminder to her each time she opened

her purse. Um… usually it was a coin of the

period, so I thought…” He felt his face flush.

Suddenly he found her lips attached to his.

“Mulder, that has to be the most utterly

romantic thing anyone has ever done for anyone!”

Slowly, he shook his head. “Not anyone,” he said

quietly. “As I may have mentioned before… only

you, Scully.”

Smiling, she cupped his cheek with her hand.

“And only you, Mulder.”

Then she turned out the light and gave him her

present.

The End

Feedback gratefully accepted by Jo-Ann at

Jolassi555@cs.com. Thanks!

1

20

Asurya Lokas

Title: Asurya Lokas

Author: Martin Ross

Type: Humorous casefile; Valentine’s Day theme

Rating: PG-13 for adult language and innuendo

Synopsis: Mulder and Scully investigate a strange

case of murder and animal attraction – and repulsion.

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: The X-Files is the property of 10-13

Productions, Chris Carter, and Fox.

“The only problem with your murder theory,” Scully

suggested as she scanned the now-waxy body on the

exam table, “is that no one was murdered.”

“Not in the traditional sense, maybe,” Mulder

countered.

“If by the ‘traditional sense,’ you mean caused to

die at the hands of another, neither by accident nor

the transmission of disease, then I’d be interested

to know in what innovative and exotic manner you

believe Mr. Rhawalpindi died. I did a complete

workup, and there is no doubt whatsoever that this

man was the victim of anaphylactic shock. My post-

mortem turned up an insect sting, Mr. Rhawalpindi’s

doctor told me the victim suffered from several

severe allergies, and, most compellingly, we found a

dead North American honey bee near the body.”

“And your problem is…?” Mulder demanded as his

partner re-covered the body.

“In a general sense, or specifically referring to the

case at hand? Which isn’t a case, by the way.”

Pittsburgh, Pa.

Three days earlier

The strange and yet poignantly mundane death of Rajiv

Rhawalpindi had come to the FBI’s attention only

because he had through several tenuous relationships

and even more tenuous circumstances been deemed a

“person of interest” under the Patriot Act. In the

pre-911 world, the young software developer’s

introspective, nearly monastic lifestyle would have

drawn little notice. In the post-911 world, the quiet

Pakistani-American, whose sixth cousin had made some

rashly nationalistic remarks at a demonstration a

half-continent away, was viewed as almost too quiet.

So when Rhawalpindi, the subject of ongoing FBI

surveillance, had been found dead without a mark in

his Washington living/dining/computer room/den,

memories of anthrax and Japanese saran gas prompted a

CDC/EPA crew to covertly swoop down on his two-room

flat. Every scrap of correspondence, every book,

every pot, pan, and prospective chemical mixing

vessel was confiscated and examined with every high-

tech device the FBI, the ATF, and the CIA could

muster. With the exception of an ornate statue of the

elephant god Ganesh that adorned a corner table and

an addiction to eBay (Golden and Silver Age DC

comics), the authorities could find little to justify

the late Mr. Rhawalpindi’s status as a person of much

of any interest.

However, Assistant Director Walter Skinner, no big

fan of John Ashcroft or the Patriot Act but a man

devoted to his duty as the law prescribed, managed to

satisfy his dual sentiments by assigning both one of

his best agents and one of the Bureau’s most

aggravated wiseasses to the Rhawalpindi

investigation. Both were the same man, and Skinner

knew Mulder would appreciate the absurdities of the

case while exhaustively eliminating any possible of

terrorist malfeasance.

“Mr. Rolla–, Rawla, oh, shoot, Rajiv was a very

polite young man,” Mulder and Scully had learned from

Olive Pizer, the decedent’s possibly 130-year-old

apartment super. “Every once in a while, I’d smell

that incense stuff coming from under his door, and I

suppose he might’ve smoked a little of that reefer

weed the kids seem to like, but boys will be boys,

won’t they? I can’t believe he would have anything to

do with that horrible Mr. bin Laden. He always tied

up his garbage bags very securely, and he never

played his music loud during my CSI.”

Mulder pictured Osama sloppily applying a slip knot

to his Hefty bag, and suppressed a smile. “How long

had he been living here?”

Without soliciting it, Pizer poured Mulder and Scully

a second cup of a particularly acrid tea neither

agent originally had invited. “Oh, my. Mr. Clinton

was president…Yes, it was right after that nasty

Lewinski girl was all over the news. She was my

daughter, I’d have given her a good spanking.”

“That’d teach her. And no trouble during that time?”

“As I said, he was extremely polite. Always had his

rent to me first of the month. A nice boy, even if he

was the unluckiest young man I ever met.”

Scully perked. “Unlucky how?”

“Wellll, first of all, there was that girlfriend of

his – oh, what was her name? This was maybe three

years ago. She was one of them, too. Palestinian.”

“Pakistani.”

“Yes. They were to married – Rajiv was very happy.

Then she got hit by the No. 12.”

“Pardon?”

“Bus. The No. 12 crosstown bus. She was a student at

the college, and she was going to one of her classes

when the No. 12 swerved to avoid a boy on a bicycle.

I understand she was killed instantly. The poor boy

was heartbroken.”

“Not to mention the girl,” Mulder suggested.

“Well,” Pizer murmured non-committally. “It seems as

if poor Rajiv’s life went downhill after that. The

accident took place a few months after that girl

died.”

“Accident?”

“The oddest thing I ever heard of,” the senior

related. “He hit a deer in his car. At 11 p.m. on a

Tuesday night, downtown. It leapt in front of his

car, and he killed it.”

“Mrs. Pizer, would you know if any of his co-workers

ever–?” Scully began hastily, hoping to divert her

partner.

“A deer, you say,” Mulder said. “Was he hurt?”

“Rajiv? Oh, no. He had one of those balloons, you

know, those car balloons.”

“Airbag?”

“That’s it. Oh, no – the mauling was much worse.”

“Mauling?” Mulder leaned forward, a childlike gleam

in his eyes. Scully sat back and sipped her

industrial tea in resignation.

“Yes. A poodle. Or a Pomeranian. The one with, you

know, the eyes…”

“A poodle mauled Mr. Rhawalpindi.”

“Yes. Or a Pomeranian. A stray, I believe – there was

no collar. It was horrid. Rajiv was out front,

getting ready to go visit his parents on the west

side, when the little cur just, well, launched itself

at him. It was, well, just gnawing at his neck –

blood was all over the sidewalk. It took Mr. Wallace

in 2 and Ms. Jankowicz in 6 to get it off him. The

bitch.”

“Ah, the dog?” Mulder ventured carefully.

“Yes, it was a female. I remember now. Even when they

pried the poodle from Rajiv’s throat, it tried to

reattach itself. Mr. Wallace was forced to use a golf

club from his trunk to beat the dog to death. A No.

7, he told me at the time, although I haven’t the

slightest interest in that silly game.”

Mulder’s eyes were wide now. “Then what happened?”

“Well, I suppose all of this must have taken its toll

on Rajiv, because he attempted to hang himself one

day. This was a few months after the mauling – for a

while, he could scarcely be persuaded to leave his

apartment. But that day, he’d just gotten back from a

Pirates game, and he seemed very chipper, if I may

say. Then I discovered a piece of Rajiv’s mail had

gotten in with mine, and I went up to his apartment

to return it. I could hear his music, and so I

knocked, but he didn’t answer. I was concerned, so I

unlocked his door to check on him. Rajiv was hanging

from the light fixture, which certainly wasn’t built

to withstand that sort of weight. I called the

ambulance, and they were able to bring him around.”

“Did he say why he did such a thing?”

“When I visited the hospital, he apologized profusely

for frightening me and for abusing the light

fixture,” Pizer informed Mulder. “He said he realized

that he’d made a dreadful mistake, that his plan

wouldn’t have worked. Oh, he said…Yes, he said he’d

realized he was too good for it to work, which seemed

a little odd and uncharacteristically boastful. He

promised me he would never try it again, that suicide

was useless and he should get on with life. That was

about four months ago, and he was fine until, of

course, he died this morning. Oh, my; you don’t think

he killed himself?”

“It’s too early to determine,” Scully replied, “but

it would initially appear that he didn’t.”

Mrs. Pizer shook her silver-blue head. “Poor young

man. He was so unlucky.” She leaned toward Mulder,

and her voice took on a confidential tone. “I don’t

want to speak ill of the dead or judge another

person’s faith, but I always felt the boy worshipping

Babar the Elephant would lead to no good.”

J. Edgar Hoover Building

Three days later

“All right, let’s indulge your precariously teetering

imagination,” Scully finally piped up. She had

resisted the temptation to rise to Mulder’s thesis on

the trip back from the Quantico pathology lab, during

lunch, and throughout most of the afternoon at the

office.

Mulder turned, a triumphant grin on his face. “Why,

Scully, what if Skinner should walk in?”

His partner closed her eyes for a second. “Let us

examine this so-called ‘case’ logically. Means,

motive, and opportunity – the keystones of any

homicide. I don’t see any of the three here. Take

opportunity: For this to be a murder, the killer

would have to have known Rajiv Rhawalpindi was prone

to anaphylactic allergies and ensure he would be

stung by a bee in his apartment.”

“Absolutely. That’s essential. It’s key to this

murder.”

“And what,” Scully asked patiently, “was this

omniscient killer’s motive.”

Mulder pushed his chair back, rose, and came around

the desk. He crooked a finger under Scully’s chin and

kissed her lightly.

“Why, love, mon cheri,” he murmured Gallicly. “You

want a Diet Pepsi?”

Pittsburgh, Pa.

Two days earlier

“He didn’t get real weird until the shitzu attacked

him,” Byrin Gittes told the agent, fingering his

eyebrow ring and eyeing his Mac like a lover he’d

been forced to abandon mid-coitus.

“I thought it was a poodle,” Mulder said.

The chief programmer of 3.0 Development shrugged.

“Whatever. It like messed up Raj’s mojo or something.

He started gettin’ all religious and all. And worse,

man. I showed up at his place with a pizza one night,

and he was readin’ a biography of some old actress

broad. The one was in that chick flick. Actually,

maybe she was in a bunch of chick flicks. That was

when I knew Raj was seriously whacked. Then he

brought in the snake.”

Mulder straightened in his chair. “Snake?”

“Yeah. He almost got his ass fired over that. Raj

like insisted the thing had somehow gotten in through

the air vent, but I think he was into, you know, that

snake handling shit.”

“Snake handling’s generally a fundamentalist

Christian practice, and I understand Mr. Rhawalpindi

was a devoted Hindu.”

“Well, snake charming, then. Though I never saw any,

you know, flute or nothing.”

“What kind of snake was it?”

“What do I look like, man? An ornithologist or

something? One of the code writers freaked and beat

the shit out of it. Raj almost freaked on him, which

I why I think he brought it in, you know…”

“To charm,” Scully supplied.

“Did you know Rajiv’s fiancé, Sana?”

“Jesus,” Gittes breathed. “You mean Indira Ghastly?

Sana was a world-class bitch, dude. She had Raj’s

cojones in a firm grip at all times, and she looked

at us like we were a bunch of lowlifes or something.

Especially the babes. Sorry, ma’am – the chicks. She

had like a permanent she-hard-on for any chick even

smiled at Raj. Don’t mean to diss the dead or

nothin’.”

“Certainly,” Mulder said.

**

“Terms of Endearment?” Mulder squeaked as he sorted

through the personal effects the FBI Homeland

Security Squad had removed from the Rhawalpindi

apartment. He displayed another DVD. “Steel

Magnolias? My God, The Cemetery Club? Scully,

certainly you see the pattern here. It doesn’t take a

behavioral scientist.”

Scully repacked a stack of T-shirts emblazoned with

catchy cyberphrases. “Pattern?”

“Scully, our victim, Mr. Rhawalpindi, was a serious,

serial pussy.”

“Ah, the professionalism,” Scully sang, moving on to

Rhawalpindi’s books.

“Seriously, though, here’s this software guy who

creates cyber-warriors and loves baseball and the

NFL. How does this square?”

“Not everyone’s an aficionado of the works of Jackie

Chan and the Three Stooges, Mulder,” Scully offered

drily. She hefted a thin volume. “Looks like Mr.

Rhawalpindi was exploring his feminist side

literarily, as well.”

Mulder stepped around the boxes, and read the

binding. “The Search for Bridey Murphy. That’s not

beach reading, Scully. It’s the true story of a

woman’s paranormal experiences.”

“A man after your own heart. Mulder, we’re wasting

our time here. This poor man was no terrorist – just

lonely and unlucky.”

“Very lonely,” Mulder murmured, glancing at Shirley

MacLaine’s smiling face on the DVD cover.

J. Edgar Hoover Building

Two days later

“Love?” Scully challenged as Mulder set her soda on

the desk. “Rajiv Rhawalpindi was murdered because of

love.”

Mulder ripped the end from his Butterfinger wrapper.

“Money, love, and in-laws. Your big three. Yes, I

think love was at the root of Rhawalpindi’s death.

Dark, obsessive love, but love nonetheless.”

“And who might have loved Mr. Rhawalpindi enough to –

– what was it now — have him stung to death?”

“Don’t forget the car accident, the shitzu attack—”

“I thought it was a Pomeranian…”

“— and the snake attack.”

Scully popped her Pepsi and leaned back. “I’ve

thought about that. I don’t suppose you saw an item,

about a week ago, about a Chicago police dog

suspended for biting an African-American child only a

few minutes after allowing a white boy to pet it?”

“Racist dogs, Scully?” Mulder laughed. “Of course,

I’ve read about the phenomenon. Some say it has to do

with canine visual perception, others a lack of

canine cross-cultural exposure. Personally, I believe

sometimes shitzu just happens. That’s your theory?

That Rajiv Rhawalpindi was the successive victim of a

racist deer, a supremacist lap dog, a religiously

intolerant serpent, and a xenophobic bee?”

“Any theory I might propound,” Scully said evenly,

“would be irrelevant, because there is no murder. I

suppose next, you’re going to try to tell me

Rhawalpindi committed suicide via anaphylaxis.”

“No,” Mulder stated seriously. “He’d given up on that

idea. And that was probably about the last straw for

the killer.”

Scully’s brow arched. “The mysterious lover who

planted a deadly bee in Rhawalpindi’s apartment.”

“You’re close.”

Pittsburgh, Pa.

One day earlier

“Like something on the goddamn Fox network,” Sgt. Oz

Detterich told Mulder, swabbing a French fry. “‘When

Freakin’ Bambi Goes Bad.’ Yeah, I remember it, OK –

ain’t every night we get a deer go berserk in the

downtown area.”

Mulder unwrapped his Whopper With Cheese. “How do you

think it got that far into the city?”

The cop, mouth full of potato, shook his head. “We

always kinda figured maybe somebody brought her in as

a prank, or maybe some hunter hit her out in Bucks

County, threw her over the hood for a trophy or for

some venison sausage, and she just wasn’t quite dead

enough. Yeah, I know. But it makes about as much

sense as anything else did. Maybe the thing was sick

or something.”

“Did you do a post-mortem?”

The cop grinned. “Nah. We had a pretty good idea what

killed her.”

Mulder smiled back, sheepishly. “Sorry. Did you have

any witnesses to the accident?”

“Three or four late-night partiers who saw the doe

before it ran in front of the motorist’s car. They

said it was just standing there, still as a statue.

Couple cars came past before Mr. Rhawalpindi, and

they said the thing didn’t move. Only ran out into

the street when Rhawalpindi drove through. Almost

like she was waiting for him. Like bad karma.”

“You have no idea,” Mulder murmured.

**

“You should pardon me for saying,” Singh Rhawalpindi

told Mulder, “but Sana was perhaps the finest

argument I ever saw for the old pre-arranged

marriages of my father’s and grandfather’s times. She

was a grasping, venal, and rabidly jealous woman.”

“Rabidly jealous?” Mulder echoed, regarding the

graying orthodontist.

Rhawalpindi brushed a piece of lint from his smock.

“Agent Mulder, one of my nephews was married a few

weeks prior to Sana’s unfortunate death, and Rajiv

brought her along. Well, at the party afterward, Sana

mistook a cousinly embrace for an overture toward

Rajiv, and nearly wrestled the poor woman into the

buffet table. You should have seen the look of

murderous rage in Sana’s eyes. She was

pathologically, violently possessive. She told my son

that he was hers’ forever.”

Mulder nodded thoughtfully as his cell phone sounded.

He flipped it open. “Mulder.”

“Yeah, Agent Mulder?” a brisk voice grunted. One of

the zealous domestic security guys with whom Mulder

and Scully had been liaising. “Ran down that reading

list you wanted.”

Working on a slowly emerging hypothesis, Mulder had

used what he’d felt to be one of the more odious and

invasive provisions of the Patriot Act to his

advantage. He’d asked one of the junior Efrem

Zimbalists to dig up Rhawalpindi’s public library

record for the past three months. Mulder scrambled

for his notebook and pen. “Yeah, shoot.”

“We got nada,” the agent reported. “Nothing. Just a

bunch of religious stuff – Hindu, Muslim, some stuff

about Indians. Not Rhawalpindi’s kind, the woo-woo-

woo kind.”

“Native Americans, you mean?” Mulder suggested,

suppressing his irony.

“Yeah,” the agent grunted, missing Mulder’s

suppression. “Oh, and a couple books by some guy

named Casey.”

Jackpot, Mulder thought. “Would that be C-A-Y-C-E?”

“Roger that,” the agent affirmed.

Mulder smiled at the father of the deceased “person

of interest,” who frowned curiously. “Anything by

George Orwell on that list?” he added mischievously.

“Orwell?…Nah.”

“Peace out, then.”

J. Edgar Hoover Building

One day later

“Edgar Cayce,” Scully perked, draining her diet soda.

“The psychic.”

“And expert in reincarnation,” Mulder added.

Scully fell silent. “Mulder, I’m a little surprised

you’d leap to such a cultural stereotype. Just

because Rhawalpindi was a Hindu–”

“As a Hindu, Rhawalpindi likely was more aware of the

phenomenon of reincarnation than most Christians,

Jews, or Zoroastrians would be. And actually, Scully,

Hinduism doesn’t have any exclusive claim to the

perpetuation and migration of the soul. The Muslim

Q’uran states, ‘Every living being shall taste death,

then unto us you will be returned.’ Many American

Indian tribes maintain animals and even non-living

objects possess souls. I think that’s why Rajiv

Rhawalpindi developed his interest in chick flicks. I

think it was an offshoot of his fascination for

Shirley MacLaine and her fascination with

reincarnation and past lives.”

“Shirley,” Scully mouthed, “MacLaine.”

“What if the karma we create in this life

shapes our destiny, Scully? What if the evil we do

demotes us to a lower niche on the food chain in the

next life? Or the good we do elevates us? I think

these are the questions Rajiv Rhawalpindi began

asking himself when the pattern began to emerge.”

“And what pattern was that, Mulder?”

“Deer, dog, snake, bee. What would that

succession suggest to you?”

“Steps on the evolutionary ladder? Except is a

deer higher up the ladder than a dog, or just

larger?”

“Don’t quibble. I think Rajiv began to suspect

that his bizarre series of animal attacks was no

accident, and he started to consider the possibility

that these animals were consciously attempting to

kill him. But why would the animal kingdom be out to

kill a single human being.”

Scully propped her heels on Mulder’s desk.

“Obviously, you’ve never watched America’s Funniest

Home Videos.”

“Sarcastic isn’t sexy, Scully. Look at the

evidence. Who would know the route through downtown

Pittsburgh Rhawalpindi took when he visited his

parents? Who would be in a position to know he was

susceptible to anaphylactic shock? And who would have

a reason to want him dead?”

“Love,” Scully recalled.

“Love. After the accident with the deer and the

shi–, ah, dog and snake attacks, I think Rhawalpindi

began to wonder why Death was knocking at his

apartment door. Then his cultural orientation kicked

in, and he started to ponder the possibility that

Sana had been reincarnated, and that he was on her

hit list.

“Sana was a rabidly jealous woman, as Rajiv’s

old man noted. She told Rajiv he belonged to her

forever, and she meant it. She wanted Rajiv to join

her on the next astral plane, and tried to punch his

ticket to get him aboard. The problem is, like most

obsessive, self-directed people, Sana never

understood the nature of karma. Her transgressions as

a woman earned her a zoological demotion, and her

misplaced ‘love’ for Rajiv made her sink deeper into

fanatical obsession and her attempts on her

boyfriend’s life. With each descent in karma, Sana

got bumped down a few more species.”

“Reincarnation for Dummies,” Scully sighed.

“And I suppose Rhawalpindi’s suicide attempt was some

tragically romantic bid to join Sana in the

afterlife.”

“Now, I’m getting real tingly, Scully. I think

Rhawalpindi became convinced his one true – if deeply

flawed – love was reaching out for him from beyond

death, and he decided to join her. But dangling over

his coffee table that day Mrs. Pizer discovered him,

I think he had a dual revelation. No. 1, that killing

yourself is neither as easy or fun as one might

think. No. 2, that he and Sana were ships that were

spiritually incapable of passing in the night or at

any other time. Remember what he told Mrs. Pizer

while he was recovering in the hospital? That his

plan wouldn’t work. That he was ‘too good’ to make it

work. Rajiv Rhawalpindi was a kind, polite,

considerate man. His death likely would serve merely

to elevate him to a higher station, while Sana was

doomed to progress further and further down the

evolutionary ladder. By now, she may be a blade of

grass, a virus, a telemarketer. Rajiv Rhawalpindi

ultimately realized he was simply too good for her,

and I think perhaps he suffered the fatal sting of a

woman scorned.”

Mulder leaned back in his chair, waiting for

Scully to jeer his theory or offer a witty bon mot.

Instead, the redheaded agent rose, walked to the

door, and fished into her handbag. She returned and

slid a large pink envelope across his desk. Mulder

stared down at the valentine, then looked up

guiltily.

Scully smirked. “Men. No, Mulder; don’t say a

word. This may surprise you – it certainly surprises

me — but I’m strangely touched by your odd and

clumsy little theory. The idea of a love that

transcends death, a desire manifested in such single-

minded obsession, it shows me a romantic dimension

that, frankly, I wouldn’t have suspected of you.” She

moved around the desk and eased onto Mulder’s lap,

wrapping her arms about her partner’s neck.

“Yeah, you say you love me,” Mulder murmured,

feeling rather warm, “But would you kill me?”

“Keep talking,” Scully whispered.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Title: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Author: Vickie Moseley

Summary: Sometimes, living together is almost as hard as living

apart.

Disclaimer: They still do, I still don’t, I can’t say if they are

profiting at the moment, but I know I’m not.

Archives: Written for Virtual Season 11 Valentine’s Day Special.

Two weeks exclusive engagement. After that, yes.

To the Virtual Season producers, I love you all. Happy Valentine’s

Day!

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

by Vickie Moseley

Le Bistro

17th & M Streets

Washington, DC

Friday, February 6, 2004

12:05 pm

Scully glanced over at the door of the little restaurant and spied her

mother. She stood up and waved Maggie over to their table.

“How are the roads?” Scully asked, helping her mother shake the

snow off her coat and scarf.

“The BW wasn’t that bad. They were worse in the city, actually. I

almost got squashed by a bus crossing Rock Creek,” she said,

folding her coat over one of the two empty chairs. “Where’s Fox?”

Scully had sat down again and was busy reading the menu.

“Dana. Where is Fox?”

Scully looked over at her mother, a slightly guilty expression. “I

didn’t invite him,” she said and chewed on her lip.

Maggie’s brow furrowed with concern. “Didn’t invite him? Why

not?”

Scully licked her lips and winced. “I wanted to talk about him and

I couldn’t do that with him here. I told him we were shopping for

underwear — for you. He decided to grab a sandwich from the

cafeteria and catch up on his email.”

Maggie crossed her arms and leaned back, giving her daughter a

classic raised eyebrow. “What’s the matter?” she asked, but it

sounded more like a demand.

“Mom, it’s just . . . he’s such a male!” Scully blurted out, then

realized a few other patrons had looked her way and she lowered

her voice. “It’s insufferable. He leaves his basketball right in the

middle of the living room. He has to use three towels to take a

shower — three, Mom, three! He never remembers about the toilet

seat and last night I had to scoop sunflower seeds off the sheets

before I could get into bed,” she fumed. “I just want to strangle

him!”

Maggie had the good grace not to laugh in her daughter’s face, but

it was difficult. “Dana, you and Fox have been together for over

10 years. Surely none of this comes as a surprise.”

Scully rolled her eyes as if in silent benediction. “I know, I know.

And it’s not like we’ve never shared a residence. But when he’s

sick or injured, he’s usually too weak to be a bother. And by the

time he is well enough to get into mischief, he goes home, to his

apartment. But this time . . .”

“I thought you said he was looking for a new place,” Maggie said

as she looked up and waved to the waiter nearest their table. They

ordered and the waiter left before Scully answered.

“Yes, and so far nothing has panned out. I know he’s really

looking, but it’s so exasperating. He keeps talking about maybe

buying a condo, but that would mean selling his parents homes and

the summerhouse and I don’t think he’s ready to do that yet. I can’t

just toss him out, I love him. But I think I might have to murder

him if he doesn’t change his ways.”

“Have you talked about it?”

Scully closed her eyes. “Talked, whined, nagged, screamed. All

of the above and sometimes all at once. And he does seem to

listen, for a while. But then, a day or two later, it’s the ice cream

tub on the hearth and the DVDs scattered all over the coffee table.

He’s . . . Mom, he’s a cretin and I don’t know what to do about it.”

Maggie smiled up at the waiter who served their food and when he

was gone again, smiled over at her daughter. “Well, let’s see. I

seem to remember a few late night calls from hospitals across the

country when you would have given your right arm to have him

leaving ice cream tubs on the hearth and DVDs all over the coffee

table,” she said slowly.

It wasn’t what she expected, but Scully’s eyes clouded with tears.

“I know. I feel like a . . . a shrew! Mom, I try, I really try. I say to

myself ‘I’m not going to be that way, I’m not going to sound like a

wife’ and then I hear myself yelling at him to put down the toilet

seat. I don’t want to be that way, really. I remember all those

calls, too. I remember just last fall being scared to death that I’d

never hear his voice again when he had carbon monoxide

poisoning.” She stopped before going much further, since Maggie

was still fairly clueless as to the cause of the poisoning. “Bet this

never happened with Daddy,” she said, picking at her salad.

Maggie’s unladylike snort caused her to jerk her head up and stare.

“What?” Scully demanded.

“You’re father was one of six children, five of them male,” Maggie

recited. “I think your poor grandmother gave up trying to teach

any of them to clean up after themselves. She was thrilled if they

helped set the table for dinner! I had to ‘retrain’ your father, which

wasn’t that easy, especially when he was at sea half the time. I

thought marrying a sailor would mean he’d have a military sense of

order — but I found out the minute he was on shore leave, it was

back to the old bad habits, and I was stuck with the mess.” She

stared out into space a fond expression in her eyes.

“So what did you do? I mean, he was neat as a pin when we were

growing up.”

Maggie smiled at her daughter affectionately. “I just let it go. I

realized that the times we were together were too precious to spend

either cleaning or yelling about cleaning. We spent that time . . . in

other ways,” she said, dropping her eyes to her salad. “I’m sure

you and Fox have more important ways to spend your time,” she

added, more to the salad than to Scully.

Scully blushed and dropped her eyes, too. “I can think of a few.”

“It’s really not important, after all is said and done, Dana. You

won’t remember how clean your house looked. You’ll just

remember how it felt to be in his arms,” Maggie said with a wistful

sigh. She cleared her throat, signaling a change in subject. “So,

what are you two doing for Valentine’s day?”

Scully looked up with an expression that spoke of antlered

creatures staring down Peterbilt trucks. “Valentine’s day?

Ohmigod, it’s next week!”

“Um hum. You have reservations some place, don’t you? You

won’t find any place in town that has space open for next weekend

now. I heard as much on the radio on the way down here.”

Maggie politely ignored Scully’s muttered curse. “I guess not,” she

said primly.

“Mom, we’ve been busy lately and to be perfectly honest, I forgot

all about it!”

Maggie thought for a moment. “Dana, do you remember your

father’s old buddy Chuck?”

“Chuck Nelson, sure I remember him, Mom. He’s Bill’s godfather,

isn’t he?”

“Well, he called the other day. He’s taking a post in NATO for a

year. He’ll be moving to Europe. They pulled him out of

retirement.”

“Wow, bet he was excited.”

“Yes, he was. You know he’s been a bachelor since his wife died a

few years back.”

“Mom, are you . . . and he . . .”

Maggie blushed. “Oh, Dana, of course not! Chuck is sweet, but

definitely not my type. No, the reason I bring it up at all, well,

Chuck has a penthouse at the Watergate. Full maid service and I

believe he even has a cook.”

“I say again, Wow. But why are you telling me all this?”

“Chuck and I got to talking and I mentioned that Tara and Bill

come out from time to time. He suggested that the next time

they’re out, they could use his penthouse. It has a fantastic view of

the Potomac and the monuments, a little ‘love nest’, he called it.

Anyway, all I have to do is call the Watergate and give them my

name, it’s all arranged.”

“I still don’t get it,” Scully insisted.

“Dana, think about it. You can set up a romantic dinner, have a

beautiful apartment all to yourselves and the best part . . . you don’t

have to lift a finger to clean up in the morning,” Maggie said, slyly

sipping her coffee.

“We’re in hotels a lot, Mom,” Scully pointed out.

“I believe the words you use the most are ‘flea bag motels’,”

Maggie countered. “Dana, this is a hundred times nicer than any

motel. And it’s completely private. You’d be in a world all to

yourselves.”

“It would take a lot of planning. I mean getting the food, that sort

of thing . . .”

“You have all day Saturday to do it,” Maggie said with a smile. “If

you ask nicely, I might even be persuaded to help.”

Scully looked across the table at her mother and immediately felt

her face breaking into a grin. “OK, Mom, you’re on!”

Lone Gunmen apartment

Anacostia

Feb. 10, 7:55 pm

“More pizza, Mulder?” Byers asked as he started to take the near

empty carryout box to the counter.

Mulder shoved the chair back from the table with a groan and

rubbed his stomach. “No, thanks. Five is my limit.” He looked

around the darkened apartment. “So, where are Curly and Moe

tonight?”

Byers came back to the table with two more beers. “Rocky Horror

Film Festival,” he said with a shrug.

“And you passed on that? What’s the matter? Langly steal all the

good fishnet hose?”

Byers actually cracked a smile. “No, but Frohike was cleaning his

leather jacket this afternoon. Seems there are some women who

show up regularly to this theatre. I think they’re hoping I’m by

myself all night tonight.”

Mulder almost choked on his beer but recovered quickly enough.

“So, no prowling instincts, Byers? Why stay home when the

probability is so . . . slightly in your favor?”

Byers took another swig and then stared intently down at his bottle.

“I just can’t. Not since Suzanne. . . well, you know the story.”

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up,” Mulder said contritely.

“So why are you over here? Scully at a conference?”

Mulder snorted. “No, she’s home. At least I think she’s home.” At

his friend’s worried expression, Mulder pressed on, this time

examining his own brown bottle. “We’ve been, uh, well, hitting a

rough patch lately.”

“Familiarity breeds contempt?” Byers offered.

“Not contempt, exactly. More like a whole lot of yelling,” Mulder

admitted. “And to be honest, I can’t say I blame her. I’m just not

that good at living with another person. It’s been too long and I’m

too stuck in my ways.”

Byers sat back and regarded his companion for a full minute.

“Mulder, you are so full of shit. You and Scully are made for each

other. What’s the problem here? Are you being a slob?”

Mulder winced as Byers hit the nail on the head. “I just keep

forgetting. I mean, if I remember one thing, I forget three others. I

put the seat down, but squeeze the toothpaste from the middle. I

put the salad dressing in the refrigerator but leave the fork and

bowl on the countertop and not in the dishwasher. I can’t win for

losing!”

Byers chuckled softly.

“I’m glad you can find humor in this,” Mulder shot back in a huff.

“No, Mulder, it’s just so . . . gee, it sounds so ‘normal’! I mean, you

two are like action figures, you know. You’re always getting into

some terrible situation or another, you always seem to be larger

than life. It’s just refreshing to hear that you’re both so . . .

human!”

“Yeah, well, humans break up, request to be transferred and never

see each other again,” Mulder replied with a heavy sigh.

“Like that’s ever going to happen,” Byers said lightly. But at his

friend’s long face, he reconsidered his callousness. “Mulder, you

really can do this, you know.”

“I really can retrain myself not to be a slob at 42 years of age?”

Byers grinned. “You don’t have to undergo a brain transplant,” he

quipped. “You just need to show her you’re trying to change.

That’s all women really want — to know that we’re trying to please

them.”

“Says the man with two male roommates,” Mulder muttered.

“Not by choice,” Byers countered. “And you know that! Look,

Saturday is Valentine’s Day. What are you doing for it?”

A look of complete terror crossed Mulder’s eyes.

“You did know it was Valentine’s Day, right?” Byers asked

casually.

“Oh shit. I am in so much trouble!”

“No, no, you’re not. It is not too late! Here’s what you’re going to

do . . .”

Valentine’s Day

Penthouse Suite

Watergate Hotel

4:45 pm

Maggie smiled at her daughter and looked around the room again.

Gas logs ready in the fireplace, table by the French glass doors

with the entire city just beyond. The monuments glowed in the

early evening rays of the setting sun. It was perfect.

“Mom, you’re being awful quiet. What did I forget?” Scully asked,

her eyes filled with confusion.

“Nothing, sweetheart. I was just thinking . . . You haven’t

forgotten a thing. Well, except maybe a certain ‘someone’ you

intend to share all that champagne,” she added with a sly grin.

“Mulder!” Scully shouted, as if she just remembered a missing key

ingredient. “He’s been at the apartment all day, by himself. Oh,

crap, I bet Mrs. Douglas below me is ready to shove that basketball

right down his throat!”

“Dana, tonight is not about basketball dribbling . . . it’s about

romance. Remember?”

Scully drew in a deep breath. “How can I forget? I just laid out a

fortune on lobster tails that I have to cook myself,” she groused

mildly.

“So, how are you going to get him over here?” Maggie asked,

picking up her coat and slipping it on.

“I . . . hadn’t really thought that through, yet,” Scully admitted. “I

could lie and tell him I have reservations. Or I could just be sly

and tell him to close his eyes and trust me.”

“Well, you work that out. Call me on Monday, let me know how it

goes?”

“Of course. Thanks for helping today, Mom.”

“My pleasure. Have a wonderful night.”

Scully’s apartment

Georgetown

4:50 pm

Mulder collapsed on the sofa, exhausted. But one look around the

apartment and he had to smile. The place actually sparkled! He’d

spent the day, the whole day, cleaning. He’d even vacuumed under

the furniture. He’d dusted every knick-knack, polished the mirrors,

wiped down the kitchen cabinets, mopped the bathroom and

kitchen floors and even cleaned out the coffee carafe. He’d idly

thought about tackling the freezer, but ran out of time.

While putting away the cleaning supplies he’d found Scully’s stash

of linen tablecloths and napkins. He’d even uncovered a set of

sterling silver napkin rings from some corner of her pantry. The

few pieces of good china and crystal she had, very old from what

he could gather, had been carefully washed, dried with a soft cloth

and now rested on the table, waiting for the candles to set them

afire.

Knowing he’d never have time to clean and cook, Mulder had

ordered their dinner from an upscale restaurant on M Street. As a

special on Valentine’s Day, they were delivering meals to your

door and he’d taken advantage of the opportunity. Dinner, coq au

vin, would be served precisely at 6 — or the meal was free. ‘Just

like Dominos,’ he chuckled to himself after hanging up the phone.

Yes, he had really gone through a work out. Muscles that he

forgot he owned were burning from the strain, but he’d never felt

happier. While he’d been cleaning, he realized how much of

himself there was in the apartment. His dry cleaning was hanging

in the closet, his razor, shave cream, aftershave was littering up the

bathroom, along with a pair of boxers he found stuck behind the

laundry hamper. Even in the kitchen, his breakfast cereal, with

marshmallows, found a place next to her ‘nutrition for women’

oatmeal selection. Even pictures of the two of them took center

stage on the mantel.

Sure, he’d never picked out the sofa, but he had picked out the

floor pillows that set next to the fireplace. He kept thinking he’d

lost everything in the fire, but he was shocked, as he cleaned, to

find how much of his personal belongings he’d already replaced.

And all of them were finding a home in this apartment, just like he

was. Maybe Byers had been right. Maybe it was all about the

trying.

With that thought in mind, he drifted off into a sound sleep.

6:35 pm

Mulder awoke with a start as something warm and fragrant

touched his lips. His eyes flew open to find his partner smiling at

him, a fork full of chicken posed at his mouth.

“I was afraid I’d have to eat both servings by myself,” Scully

laughed as he sat up straighter and ran his hands over his face.

“I fell asleep,” he noted. That only made her smile bigger.

“And with good reason, Mr. Clean. This place is immaculate!

Were you working on it all day?”

He nodded groggily. Wiping sleep from his eyes, he glanced over

at the kitchen table. The candles were aflame, the meal laid out on

the china, red wine in the crystal. “I wanted to do all that,” he

pouted.

She ruffled his hair and then pulled him to his feet. “You’ve done

plenty already. C’mon, let’s eat.”

She held his hand all through dinner, which made cutting the

chicken an experience, but a fun one. He fed her from his plate but

she stopped him when he was only half finished.

“As much as this is wonderful, let’s leave it for tomorrow,” she said

coyly.

“I think I like that idea,” he smiled in return. Together, they boxed

up the leftovers and rinsed the dishes to be washed later. He

started to pull her toward the bedroom, but she pulled the other

way.

“Now, it’s my turn,” she said with what could only be called an

enigmatic grin. “Grab your jacket.” At his confused look, she

reached up and kissed him lightly. “I promise, you’ll like this.”

He shrugged and put on his coat, helping her with hers, and they

left the apartment.

As they drove toward Foggy Bottom, Mulder’s curiosity was at a

razor’s edge. “We’re going to the Kennedy Center?”

“Nope.”

He watched as she negotiated the streets and headed toward a

familiar landmark. “Scully, I agree it would be really kinky to play

‘Washington lobbyist and hooker’, but . . .

“Mulder, shut up and enjoy the drive,” she growled, but flashed

him a smile with all teeth to soften her words. He bit his lip and

looked out the window. When they pulled into the underground

parking for the Watergate, she could see him flinch, but he kept

silent.

She knew it was killing him as she locked the car, took his elbow

and guided him toward the elevators. He seemed to know where

she might be going and was making a visible effort to keep his

mouth shut, but when she pulled out a key and put it into the slot

above the elevator buttons, pressing the top floor, his eyes grew

wide and she thought he might stop breathing. She squeezed his

hand and he gulped.

“We aren’t going to the restaurant?” he squeaked.

“Nope. And what did I tell you in the car, Mulder?”

He pressed his lips together so tightly, they lost all color. She had

to turn away to keep from laughing.

When they arrived at the top floor, she led him down the hall and

used the same elevator key to unlock the apartment door. She

didn’t open the door, she grabbed him by the shoulders and pressed

his back against the wall. “I need you to stand right there, with

your eyes closed, for just five minutes.”

“Scu-lly,” he whined, but at her fierce glare, he dutifully backed

himself against the wall and closed his eyes. “I just hope no one

comes out in the hall and finds me playing ‘hide and seek’,” he said

loud enough to be heard inside the apartment.

“Keep up the racket and you’ll have plenty of company out there,”

she warned. Hurriedly she ran around the living room, lighting the

candles on the mantel and the gas fireplace, then checking the

champagne. She had to admit, the place really did look great.

‘Almost as nice as my apartment,’ she chuckled to herself.

She stepped out into the hallway and pulled on Mulder’s arm.

“Can I open my eyes?” he asked.

“Not yet. I’ll tell you when,” she promised. She brought him all

the way into the living room, turned him to face the fireplace and

reached up to kiss him lightly. “Open them.”

He blinked because he was looking right into the fire. Then he

turned and looked at the rest of the apartment. A slow smile

creased his face and he gave a low whistle. “Scully, you shouldn’t

have. All I got you was a card,” he teased.

“Well, this place is all ours, for tonight. Then it turns back into a

pumpkin,” she told him.

He walked over to the glass french doors and looked out onto the

city. “You can’t rent these penthouses, Scully. How in the world .

. .”

“A friend of my parents,” she supplied. “He’s in Europe, Mom got

me the key. There’s more food in the kitchen.”

He turned around, took the two steps to reach her and gently

lowered them both to the floor. “We might need it . . . a little

later.”

Two hours later

the floor in front of the fireplace

She giggled as butter ran down his chin. He looked around for

something to wipe it off and she obliged him with her tongue.

“You were just waiting for that,” he accused her with a grin.

“Yup,” she answered with a sly smile. They were lying in front of

the fire without a stitch of clothing on, warm in it’s glow,

surrounded by empty plates and wine glasses.

He licked his fingers of the last of the drawn butter and pulled her

down so her head was resting on his bare chest. “I’ve never dared

eat lobster in the nude.”

“Me neither.”

“It’s fun,” he decided happily and she nodded in enthusiastic

agreement. “Even more fun when it’s someone else’s carpet we

dripped butter on,” he added.

“I’ll mention it to the maid tomorrow. I’m pretty sure it will come

out,” Scully said with a shrug.

“So, we trash this place and then in the morning go home to your

apartment where it’s nice and clean?”

“That’s the plan,” she answered, kissing his chest.

“I really like that plan,” he said, leaning in for a very passionate

kiss. He pulled away and lifted her chin up so she could see his

eyes. “I’m sorry I’m such a pig to live with,” he told her seriously.

“I’m sorry I’ve been turning into a shrew,” she replied and kissed

him just a thoroughly.

When they came up for air, he hugged her tightly to him. “Happy

Valentine’s Day, Scully.”

She smiled at him. “Actions speak louder than words, Mulder.”

At that moment, he couldn’t agree more.

the end.

Too Far for an X-File

Title: Too Far for an X-file

Author: Theresa J

Summary: Crossover between Farscape and the X-files.

Mulder meets John Crichton in a secret military

prison.

Rating: PG-13

Author’s notes: This was written for the VS11 Cross

Over Special. Two weeks exclusivity on the VS11 site.

After that, archive anywhere. I always wanted to have

these two meet! Just some fun for me.

Time Period: This takes place before “Terra Firma”,

Season 4 of Farscape. For the X-files, time period

fits with the VS11 timeline.

Spoilers: For the VS11 MS relationship status. For

Farscape, almost everything up to “Terra Firma”.

Disclaimer: The X-files, Mulder and Scully belong to

Chris Carter and Tenthirteen Productions. Farscape,

John Crichton, Moya, Aeryn Sun and other characters

belong to Henson Studios and the SciFi Network. I’m

just borrowing these guys for a while, I don’t own

them, and no copyright infringement is intended.

One line belongs to “Foxy Lady” by Jimi Hendrix.

Feedback: Please and thank you!

theresacarol1013@yahoo.com

——

Secret Military Prison

Undisclosed location

1:07 a.m.

A square room. Funny how something so common looked so

strange to him now. John Crichton sat in an

uncomfortable metal chair, trying to find a good

position in which to settle himself. He’d gotten used

to the amorphous curved lines of Moya, the living

alien ship he’d been aboard for the last several years

of his life. Sometimes he’d imagined that the chairs

and beds he slept in while living on her would adjust

themselves to his body, molding themselves to him as

if Moya were able to communicate by touch as he sat or

slept.

Sleep. He remembered sleep. His red-rimmed eyes stung

as he looked up at the harsh overhead light above him.

He could see deep shadows hug the underside of his

cheekbones and the hollows of his eyes in the

reflection of the two-way mirror. He never thought jet

lag would insinuate itself so strongly after

travelling through a wormhole in outer space. It

didn’t help that he hadn’t slept since he’d been back

on Earth, either.

The door to the small interrogation room swung open,

snapping him back to alertness. Crichton automatically

stood and reached to his side for a holster that

wasn’t there. They’d taken Wynona, his alien version

of a pistol, away from him. His hip felt light and

empty without it, and he made an awkward gesture with

his hand, scrubbing at his close-cropped hair to hide

the motions he’d taken in defense. His leather pants

squeaked as he shifted his weight, then stilled

himself to size up the man that had just entered the

room.

He was most definitely a government employee. The

style of the dark, double-breasted suit he wore just

reeked of it. He was a few inches taller than

Crichton, with a thin, though muscular build. Not as

stocky with the muscles as Crichton himself, but

athletic at least. He had a too-clean-cut way about

him, yet the facade was spoiled slightly as he spat

the remains of a sunflower seed shell into his fingers

and dropped them into the wastebasket in the corner of

the room.

Crichton remained standing as the other sat on the

opposite side of the table. ‘Who the frell was this

guy?’ Crichton had thought for sure he’d be seeing

some ornery official from NASA come to beat his head

into the ground.

“John Crichton?” the suit said.

“Yeah. And you must be Joe Friday,” he replied dryly.

The suit paused, a twinkle in his eye that appreciated

the quip, but also recognized Crichton’s sarcasm as a

defense mechanism even more so than the weapon absent

from his hip.

“Sorry, wrong division. I’m Agent Fox Mulder with the

FBI.”

“Ooooh… Foxy! I’m comin’ to get ya!” Crichton

replied, twanging an air guitar and then smirking at

the FBI agent.

“It’s just Mulder, if you don’t mind. Sunflower seed?”

Mulder held out the red and white plastic bag he had

gotten out of the vending machine two floors up and

popped one into his mouth while he waited for the

other to consider.

Crichton sat down slowly, watching Mulder for signs of

dishonesty. Mulder held his gaze just as intently, not

even blinking as he dipped his hand gently into the

snack bag again and cracked two more seeds open with

his teeth.

“All right, Mulder. Why aren’t you NASA?”

Crichton decided this guy wasn’t going to do him any

harm… yet. He rifled his fingers into the offered

bag and snatched up a handful of seeds. He’d promised

himself that he wouldn’t eat too much while he was

stuck on Earth, but along with lack of sleep, lack of

food was another thing that was wearing him thin.

The outer shells tasted good — salty, nutty, earthy.

Much better than many of the alien foods for which

he’d been forced to acquire tastes. He closed his eyes

and could almost pretend that he wanted to come back

here for good. He was human after all. Did he really

want to continue playing the fish-out-of-water game on

a living ship, with a half-crazed Luxan, a two-foot

green eating-machine Dominar, a gray haired, gray

skinned teenaged thief, and a… Peacekeeper?

Crichton’s face softened at the thought of Aeryn Soon,

a Peacekeeper defector that was one of the other

passengers on Moya. That was the reason, the biggest

one anyway, that he had to go back. Thousands of

universes and a thousand chances to convince her that

it was okay to love him — he’d finally done it,

but… He promised he’d always go back to her, but

that wormhole had just come out of nowhere. He still

didn’t have full control over his abilities to predict

wormhole locations and their times of appearance.

Sometimes he got lucky. This time he had found Earth,

but this time he wasn’t looking for it.

Mulder crumpled up the half-empty bag of sunflower

seeds, and pushed them across the table to him.

Crichton was able to focus on Mulder, but it took him

a moment to remember what he’d asked the agent before

thinking about Aeryn. She had a tendency to overpower

his thoughts sometimes, especially when he thought he

might never see her again.

“I’m not NASA because I’m the one who got you out of

their stewing pot. I want to know why you’re so bent

on getting that module back. What’s your hurry in

getting back out into space? And getting out there

trying to bypass security. Did you think nobody would

notice you taking off with a trillion-dollar project

they thought was lost forever?”

“Point taken Beanpole,” Crichton said, chewing on the

last of his seeds.

Mulder bit on the inside of his bottom lip and nodded

subtly, visibly keeping a temper under wraps. “It’s

just Mul–”

“Mulder,” Crichton grinned, “Yeah, I know. So you’re

helping me, is that it? What’s in it for you?”

Mulder had the decency to look mildly surprised at

this question. Then he said in all seriousness,

leaning over the table, “I want to know what’s out

there.”

“Oh, lordy, lordy! You do *not* want to know.”

Mulder remained hovering over the tabletop, but now

rested his elbows on top of it. He’d be in for the

long and tiresome story, if that’s what it took.

Crichton could see, though, that Mulder knew exactly

that it was not a tiresome story at all.

“All right, Beanpole.”

Mulder glared, but moved nothing.

“Sorry. Mulder.”

Crichton inhaled deeply through his nose, trying to

decide the best way to spill it all. Hell, this weirdo

might actually believe him. But where to begin? Maybe

he ought to start off with the ship, or how he first

got out there, or the project with NASA, or Aeryn.

No. He knew what to ask first. “How are you going to

get me back out there, anyway? I mean, I can spill my

guts to you like slicing open a Ton-Ton with a Light

Saber and I’d still be left out in the cold.”

Mulder sat back in his chair. “I have friends that can

get us where they moved the test-module. I believe

it’s now in Area 51.”

“Wow. I guess I’m involved in a bonafied alien

conspiracy now.”

“You have no idea. Point is, my friends have ways. My name

is known in those circles, too, so we’ll have to be

extremely careful. I’ll only be able to go with you so

far,” he had a hunger in his eyes as he said this,

“though I wish I could go the whole way.”

Crichton could see that Mulder was truthful in his

speech. Stupid with ideals, yes. But truthful. He

really did want to know.

“Have you seen Them? Are they the Grays?” Mulder asked

in so soft a tone, Crichton thought it might have been

a timid request. But Mulder’s face was full of awe.

“Far from it, Mulder.”

Crichton proceeded to tell the short version of how

he’d been testing out the module; how he’d gotten

sucked through a wormhole and ended up in a different

universe, in the middle of a confrontation between

Peacekeepers and a ship that had been apprehended by

escaped prisoners — all of whom were different

aliens.

He told him about the translation device implanted

into his foot when Mulder asked how he communicated

with them. He told him about Kar D’Argo, Rygel,

Chiana, Zahn, Scorpius, and Aeryn.

Then he told Mulder about his return to earth the

first time. How his father had greeted him and told

him about wormholes, and that it really wasn’t his

father but an alien that looked like him. It was the

only way the alien could think of to tell Crichton

that he held in his mind, the key to wormhole

technology, and that it would be revealed to him when

he was ready to understand it.

He told him about the plague Scorpius had become to

him, and the obsession Aeryn had become to him. Saving

Earth from the clutches of Scorpius and the

Peacekeepers was one of his quests. Aeryn was the

other. Right now, Aeryn was the most important thing

in his mind, because he saw what Earth thought of him

when he had come back. He felt like Earth was lost to

him. It wasn’t his life anymore.

“My father still works in the space program. He

doesn’t understand why I cannot bring him, or any

other explorers with me when I return. And if I can’t

bring them, then I don’t go,” Crichton concluded.

Mulder sat silently for long moments, absorbing the

whole crazy story. Crichton shifted around in his

strange buckled vest and leather pants, stretched out

his back from sitting so long. Mulder watched him,

studied his eyes, bright with exhaustion and with

determination. Crichton lowered his head, tired from

the telling of his tale, and unsure if it would buy

him a chance to get back out into space.

“I believe you.”

Crichton snapped his head up. “Damn, monkey! Why

didn’t I meet you before?” He grabbed Mulder’s hand

and shook it furiously.

“I’ve been stuck in a basement office for a long

time.”

*****

24 Hrs later

Outside of Area 51

Mulder lay back on the hood of his car, staring up at

the sky full of stars. Out in the desert, one could

see more stars than any other place on Earth. He

wondered which one of them Crichton was going back to?

He remembered his conversation with the space traveler

on their way out here, before he turned Crichton over

to direct communication with the Gunmen to get him

inside.

“So,” Mulder asked casually, “how does it work between

a human and a… Peacekeeper?”

Crichton smiled brightly, showing off his gleaming

white teeth. “Surprisingly well. Though I had to wear

her down to it.”

Mulder cleared his throat, slightly embarrassed about

asking personal questions about someone’s love life.

“I meant…”

“Don’t sweat it, Mulder. I know what you meant.” He

adjusted his earpiece as Mulder sped the car along the

open desert road. “Peacekeepers and humans are very

much alike. She has the physiology of a woman, but

she’s just built a little differently.”

“How so?”

“Well, here’s a good example. I found out recently

that she was pregnant.”

“Wow. You’re a regular Captain Kirk, aren’t you?

Fraternizing with the aliens that way.”

“Nice, Mulder. But here’s the catch. It might not be

mine, or it could be mine, but I didn’t exactly do the

deed — particularly.”

“Okay, I understand the first part, but if it is

yours, how could you not have–”

“Let’s just say, I wasn’t quite myself,” Crichton

winked at him, but didn’t explain any further. Trying

to describe that he’d been split into two versions of

himself by an alien ray-gun, in which both were

completely himself at the same time, body and soul,

was a little much to go into when they were less than

a half an hour away from his ticket home.

“I — probably got her pregnant, but she chose the time

to have the baby. It doesn’t just happen for her.” Then

Crichton said under his breath, “God, I wish I had

been there.”

Mulder was furiously confused and bursting at the

seams to ask him more. But instead, he asked, “She’s

worth the world to you?”

“My man, she’s worth a thousand worlds to me.”

“I know the feeling.”

He did know. If he had met Scully anywhere on this

Earth or another, he would have felt the same way for

her. Finding out that there was really something out

there was Mulder’s primary reason for diverting John

Crichton away from being trapped in a government

prison by NASA. He didn’t want Crichton to become

another legend lost to the alien conspiracy, something

that wasn’t supposed to exist.

For the brief time he got to know Crichton, Mulder

began to realize that he was one of the most human

people he knew. Against all odds, dealing with strange

worlds and beings, he adapted his own knowledge of

himself, and used it to overcome diversity in an alien

world.

Mulder glanced at his watch. It would be any minute

now.

A rumble in the distance made him sit up and look to

the West. He saw a glow toward the horizon that became

a thin streak of white vapor shooting straight up into

the sky. As it got higher, it faded completely from

sight.

A crackle came through his earpiece, and he heard

three voices whooping and shouting through the

static.

“Did you see that, Mulder? He made it the sonofabitch!

Whooo!”

Mulder added to the celebration assaulting his eardrum

with his own shout toward the sky. “Yeeeaaaahhh!”

He hopped off the car, and leaned his head back as far

as it would go, just before he could become dizzy from

his body’s imbalance. He hoped one day he’d be able to

travel as Crichton had. But would he really want to

leave what he had behind him?

“Mulder?” Frohicke’s voice came in clearly through his

earpiece. The other two had hushed for the moment.

“You’d better start getting out of there before they

start sweeping the area for witnesses.”

“All right Frohicke. Hey, thanks for this, guys.”

“No problem, Mulder. What a scene! Thanks for the

excitement, man.”

“All right. See you when I get back. I’m headin’ home

to Scully.”

“Lone Gunmen out.”

“Mulder out.”

*****

The End

Smallville X

Title: Smallville X

Author: Vickie Moseley

Summary: Mulder and Scully are sent to Smallville to

investigate the strange happenings surround a teen-

aged boy.

Category: X, Crossover (Smallville), MSR

Timeline: X Files: Virtual Season 11, Smallville:

Season 3

Rating: PG

Archives: Exclusive with VS 11 for two weeks, then

anywhere

Author’s note: My apologies to avid Smallville fans.

I watch the show occasionally, so I might not have the

voices down. But it’s a great show, and the David

Nutter connection could not be ignored. Forgive me if

I screwed it up too much.

Special Thanks to Theresa for character knowledge.

Feedback: vickiemoseley1978@yahoo.com

Smallville X

by Vickie Moseley

Metropolis International Airport

January 23, 2004

“You can’t be serious.” Scully was standing next to

the baggage corral at the Metropolis International

Airport, arms crossed, ready to do battle.

“Scully, I’m not making this up. The kid is freaky!”

Mulder said, smiling around a sunflower seed stuck

between his front teeth.

“And you think this ‘freaky kid’ had something to do

with an explosion, power surge, what have you, that

leveled a farm and caused damage in the neighborhood

of millions of dollars? How, Mulder? Is this

‘Nuclear Boy’? What are we talking here?” She

spotted her two-suiter and lunged for it, dragging it

to safety before the tall Marine next to her tackled

his seabag, which was also hurrying around the corner

of the carousal.

“Actually, Scully, someone has dubbed the kid ‘Super

Boy’ but I’m not falling for it. And there is a

possible explanation,” he added as he pulled his well-

worn suitcase off the carousal and hoisted the strap

onto his shoulder.

“And that would be — ?” asked Scully, leading the way

through the crowded airport concourse and up to the

Lariat Rental Agency window where she pulled her

identification and gave their registration

information.

“A meteor shower hit the area about a dozen years ago.

Some strange things resulted.”

“Strange? Mulder, after all these years, you have to

get a little more specific. What kind of strange?”

“A kid with gills, for one. A telepathic kid. A kid

that survived leukemia, a fatal car crash and a fatal

plane crash, for another. Some rather, well,

dangerous teenagers, and I’m not talking gang bangers

here, Scully. Dangerous in the mutant variety way.”

“A whole town of mutants? Mulder, how have you

managed to keep this garden spot off the tour?” she

asked, signing the rental agreement and picking up the

key with a nod to the attendant.

“I just found out about it, Scully. Smallville is,

well, rather small.”

“I’m trying to figure out why Skinner signed off on

this 302,” she said, pointing him in the direction of

the short term parking shuttle that would take them to

their rental car.

“A gentleman by the name of Lionel Luthor, head of

Luthorcorp and a major contributor to both political

parties, by the way, has convinced Director Tenet that

the FBI might want to look into this kid. He tossed

out words like ‘possible terrorist connections’ and

‘threat to national security’.”

“The buzz words of the day, these days,” Scully said

with a sigh.

“Exactly,” Mulder replied.

“But we don’t do terrorism, Mulder,” she pointed out

as they settled on the bus.

“I know. I’m not buying the terrorist line, anyway.

But the other stuff, the mutants, the meteor — that

has me intrigued. And this kid, Clark Kent, he seems

to show up just in the nick of time. He keeps saving

people.”

“Sounds like a town hero, not the town terrorist.”

“From what I can get on him, he’s the All-American

Boy, Scully. Darling son of Martha and Jonathan Kent,

straight A student, on the high school newspaper.

He’s every mother’s dream.”

“And the Director of the FBI thinks he might be a

terrorist. Well, at least we have a wonderful

Midwestern winter storm to look forward to,” Scully

mused as she nodded toward dark clouds on the western

horizon. “Five will get you ten we’re snowed in by

morning.”

By the time they found the Sheriff’s office, it was

getting dark. The Sheriff, an overworked woman with a

dour expression, was less than helpful.

“The Kents are good people. I don’t think you should

be botherin’ ’em,” she said flatly. She then gave

them sketchy directions on where to locate the Kent

farm and let them out the door.

“I thought small towns were supposed to be ‘friendly’,

Scully,” Mulder quipped as they made their way back to

the rental. True to Scully’s earlier prediction, it

had started to snow.

Scully looked up at the sky. “What will it be,

Mulder? The Kents, who arguably won’t be going

anywhere and in all likelihood will be there tomorrow,

or a nice warm motel, preferably one with a claw

footed bath tub that’s big enough for two?”

He winced. “Don’t be a tease to me, Scully,” he

whined.

She shook her head and sighed. “I was expecting as

much, Mulder. To the Kents, but you are driving!”

They arrived at Jonathan and Martha Kent’s house just

after sunset. The lights in the window made for a

cheery and welcome sight in the howling wind and

blowing snow. As they approached the front door,

Mulder could smell something . . . pork chops, maybe,

cooking inside. His stomach rumbled loud enough to be

heard over the wind.

“Muzzle that thing, G-Man,” Scully scolded as she

looked for and found the doorbell.

In the interest of time, both agents had their

identification wallets in their hands when someone

answered the door. Mulder got his wish — it was the

teenager, Clark.

“Can I help you folks? You lost or something?” Clark

asked warily as he looked from one agent to the other.

“I’m Special Agent Mulder and this is Special Agent

Scully. We’re with the FBI. We were wondering if you

could answer some questions. You are Clark Kent,

aren’t you?” Mulder asked with an ingratiating smile.

That name, Mulder. Where had he seen it? Clark

searched his memory and finally came up with the

answer. Chloe’s Wall of Weird. Agent Fox Mulder, aka

M. F. Luder, FBI agent with a penchant for the weird

and unusual. Believed his sister was abducted by

aliens. What a thought. And his partner, Dana

Scully. She had been missing for three months, if

Chloe’s research was correct. They were coming to

investigate him.

Which brought up another set of questions. How much

could he reveal to these people? Hiding the truth, if

the WOW was right, would only cause them to dig

deeper. He might not be happy with the results.

The two agents were standing in the doorway, smiling

at him. He saw the woman, Agent Scully, shiver. He

couldn’t turn them away.

“Uh, yeah, I’m Clark. Just a minute,” Clark said and

turned away from the door. “Uh, Mom, Dad, there’re

some special agents here from the FBI!” he yelled

toward the back of the house.

“I have all the paperwork for that fertilizer right

here in my desk, Agents. Clark, where are your

manners? Let the folks in out of that weather!”

Jonathan Kent chided as he walked into the room,

drying his hands on a dishtowel. Martha Kent followed

in behind him, a wooden spoon in her hand.

“Clark, get these folks some coffee, it’s freezing out

there,” Martha commanded. “Or would you prefer tea?”

she asked lightly.

“No, thank you, coffee does sound good, Mrs. Kent.

But we’d like Clark to stay and answer some questions,

if you don’t mind,” Scully said politely as she

followed Jonathan into the living room and took a seat

next to her partner.

“Clark? He doesn’t buy the fertilizer. I do,”

Jonathan objected.

“They aren’t here about fertilizer, Dad,” Clark said

uneasily, exchanging a look with both his parents.

“Mom, could you get that coffee, please?”

“What’s this about, Agent, uh, Mulder, did you say?”

asked Jonathan, not looking at all pleased.

“Yes, sir, Mulder. Well, to be perfectly honest, sir,

we’re here to find out what we can about some

occurrences during the past few years. An explosion

that leveled this farm, for one.”

Martha was back with the coffee and the tray in her

hand slipped when she heard Mulder’s comment. The

coffee cups, four steaming ones, started the long

descent to the floor. Faster than anyone could see,

Clark was standing beside his mother, holding the

tray, cups intact.

“OK, and I think that would be something else we’re

interested in,” Mulder added dryly, nodding toward

Clark and Martha and the undisturbed tray.

“He’s tried out for the track team,” Martha said

weakly.

“Mom, we better sit down,” Clark said sadly. There

was no way they’d walk quietly away now, he had to

tell them the truth. At least Agent Mulder looked

like the honest sort.

Half an hour later, Clark was finished with his tale.

“So when you’re exposed to this, what is it again?”

Mulder asked, jotting furiously in his notebook.

“Kryptonite. It’s found in small deposits around

here. It was in that meteor shower,” Clark responded.

“When you’re exposed to this kryptonite, it makes you

sick or weak or . . . evil?” Mulder continued.

“Just the red stuff makes me evil. I couldn’t control

my impulses. The green stuff, well that just makes me

sick.”

“It’s almost killed him, a couple of times,” Martha

interjected. By now the poor woman was pale as a

ghost, twisting a tea towel in her hands. “You aren’t

going to . . . take him away, are you? Please, he’s

just a boy,” she pleaded.

Scully looked over at Mulder and shrugged. “I’m hard

pressed to find where Clark has any terrorist

leanings,” she said softly.

“Terrorist? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever

heard of!” Jonathan howled.

“I can assure you, my allegiance is to this country,

Agent Scully,” Clark said solemnly. “To my family, to

this town, to this country.” He reached over and

squeezed his mother’s hand. “I would fight anyone who

tried to harm them.”

Scully smiled at the young man. Mulder had already

closed his notebook and was putting it in his jacket

pocket. “I think we’ve kept these nice people from

their supper too long, Scully. We have enough to file

our report.”

“But wait, if you put all that in a report, won’t

there be others like you, others who come and want to

find out more about Clark? They’ll want to turn him

into some science experiment!” Martha objected.

“Mrs. Kent, I’m sorry. If it’s any consolation, we

see any number of odd or unusual phenomenon in our

cases and not all of them receive scrutiny or follow

up investigations,” Scully tried to reassure the

woman. It had little positive effect. The woman

looked almost petrified.

“Well, the least we can do is offer you some supper,”

Martha said, squaring her shoulders as she stood.

“It’s just pork chops and mashed potatoes. Clark . .

. Clark is really good with mashing,” she said,

holding back tears.

“No, but thank you for the very generous offer,”

Mulder refused for them both. “We really need to get

back to town.”

“That north-south road tends to drift in snowstorms.

You might want to watch that curve just before the

bridge,” Jonathan said stiffly.

“I’ll do that, sir. Thank you. And thank you, Clark.

You’ve given us a lot to think about.”

Clark nodded. “I hope I explained it to your

satisfaction, Agent Mulder. Please let the people

back in Washington know I’m not a terrorist?” he asked

politely.

“That will definitely be in our report,” Scully chimed

in. “Try not to worry, Clark. Or you, Mr. and Mrs.

Kent.”

Scully slipped on the ice as they walked out to the

car, Mulder catching her just before she landed

ungracefully on her rear. When he righted her, she

looked around at the quickly mounting piles of snow.

There was at least half a foot already on the ground.

“We better hurry, Mulder. Remember what Mr. Kent said

about the north-south roads drifting.”

“Believe it or not, Scully, I do know how to drive in

snow. And for the record, north-south roads _always_

drift. Winds tend to blow west to east. I thought

you’d know that,” he teased.

She gave him a look and got into the car, shivering

while she waited for him to start the engine.

Clark was on the phone to his buddy Pete Ross almost

as soon as the dinner dishes were finished.

“It’s bad, Pete. Real bad,” he said with a heavy

sigh.

“Why in the world did you talk, Clark? Why couldn’t

you just deny it all and show them the door?”

“Mom was about to drop a tray of coffee,” Clark

explained meekly.

“And you just couldn’t let that happen,” Pete replied

sarcastically. “They think you’re a terrorist? Who

would put them on to you like that?” Pete asked.

“I don’t know. But I think I got them past that.

Even so, they know more about me than I want anyone to

know. I just couldn’t lie to them after what they’d

seen. Besides, I think Chloe knows about them. And

they are from the government.”

“Clark, the Sheriff is from the government and we end

up lying to her all the time,” Pete pointed out.

“This was different. These people are from the

Federal government,” Clark said emphatically.

“Besides, I couldn’t explain why I wasn’t a terrorist

without explaining what I am.”

“I can’t believe they bought that, Clark. I mean the

whole ‘boy with super powers from another planet

living in rural America’. Who would believe that but

a nutcase.”

“Present company included, of course,” Clark teased.

“Agent Mulder said they look into a bunch of strange

stuff.”

“Well, old buddy, you qualify there,” Pete joked,

trying to lighten the mood. “Hey, maybe we can figure

out a way to get that report.”

“The one Agent Scully will no doubt file by her

computer tonight at the motel? I don’t think that’s

possible,” Clark said morosely.

“Hey, something’s bound to turn up. Maybe their boss

will think they’re nutcases.”

“Not much to hope for,” Clark conceded. “I gotta go.

I have some history I gotta do.”

“Good luck, Clark.”

“Thanks, Pete.”

Hanging up the phone, the young man lay back on his

bed and stared at the ceiling. There had to be some

way out of this situation. If only he could think of

a way.

“I think this is the curve, Mulder,” Scully was saying

as she peered out the frost-riddled windshield. “What

a time to have the wipers go out!”

“Could have been worse, Scully. Could have been the

defroster or the heater,” Mulder quipped.

“We should turn back. I’m sure the Kents have a four-

wheel drive vehicle, living out in the middle of

nowhere like they do.”

“Why would they? Clark probably shovels their way in

to town,” Mulder shot back.

“You aren’t really buying this ‘super powers’ story,

are you, Mulder? I mean, look at him. He looked

fairly normal to me.”

“Just because he didn’t have gray shiny skin and big

black eyes doesn’t mean he’s not from another planet,

Scully. Gosh, talk about racial sterotypes!” He

grinned at her huff of breath. “And yes, I do think

there is something to his story. Even Mr. and Mrs.

Kent substantiated the fact that they found him in a

crashed space craft.”

Scully rolled her eyes again. “Oh, yeah. Well, if

all _three_ of them are giving us the same story, then

of course, I believe it,” she said sarcastically.

“Why would they lie?” Mulder shot back. He was having

trouble seeing the road and it was making him testy.

“The publicity. Mulder, do you know how quick one of

those tabloids you read would pick up on a ‘Super

Boy’? Instant fame and fortune!”

“Then why have they waited this long, Scully? The kid

is 16 years old. Why not shove him in the spotlight

years ago? Besides, they seem to have shunned

publicity. I think they only reason they told us the

story was because we came to their door sporting

badges.”

Scully opened her mouth to speak when the car suddenly

slipped out of control. Mulder fought the wheel and

for a split second, it appeared they would be all

right. But then the wheels hit another icy patch and

the momentum of the car hurtled them toward the side

of the road. A split second before they crashed,

Scully realized that the side of the road was actually

the guardrail of the bridge over a small river. Her

screams were lost to the sound of metal ripping and

the car plunging fifteen feet into the icy waters

below.

Clark’s head jerked up from his history book. What

was that sound? Like metal, tearing. It was loud and

unnatural. On the edges, he thought he’d heard a

woman scream. It had to be the wind, he decided and

tried to go back to his book. But then he heard

another sound, ice breaking, water rushing.

The bridge. Someone had gone over the side of the

bridge!

In the blink of an eye he was on the road and running

so fast, the snow melted a path behind him. He got to

the bridge before a human being could take a breath.

When he got there, he saw what had happened. The

guardrail for the bridge was broken at least the width

of a car. Below, the ice on the river was broken into

chunks. But the car was no where in sight.

Looking hard at the icy water, Clark could see the car

below the surface of the water, completely submerged.

The two agents were still inside, trapped, and

unmoving. Clark had to move fast.

Acting without thought, Clark dove into the water. He

tugged at the driver’s side door, but with the

pressure of the rushing water, it wouldn’t budge.

There was no time as the interior of the car was

almost entirely flooded. Clark reached under the

chassis and hefted the car up. With a mighty heave,

he threw the car out of the water and onto the bank.

Clark followed the car out of the water. This time

when he pulled on the driver’s side door, the metal

groaned and separated easily. Water rushed out of the

opening, exposing the two agents, neither of whom

appeared to be breathing.

Grabbing Agent Scully first, Clark performed his own

brand of CPR. The agent coughed and choked, but

started breathing on her own. Turning to the other

agent, he performed the same action. Mulder coughed,

vomited a great deal of water, but his bluish gray

color faded to a more normal pale tan.

“I can’t leave you out here, you’ll freeze to death,”

Clark told the unconscious agents. “But if I take you

into town, it might raise some more questions.”

Considering his options carefully, Clark picked up

both agents and ran at full speed into the city of

Metropolis. The emergency department of the

University Medical Center was bustling. No one

noticed the two people laying on gurneys in the

hallway until one of the nurses heard the woman cough.

Scully’s apartment

One week later

Scully was sitting at her computer, finishing up her

report. Mulder came in from the kitchen, carrying two

steaming mugs.

“That better not be coffee. The doctor said no

caffeine for another week, Mulder.”

“We were hypothermic with mild concussions, Scully.

They always restrict caffeine for any bump on the head

and it’s usually unnecessary. But if it makes you

stop busting my chops, this is cocoa, extra

marshmallows for the G-Woman.”

“You know what I like,” Scully smiled and accepted the

mug.

“So, what are you putting in the report?” he asked,

settling down on the sofa near her desk.

Scully turned to look at him. “Just that we went to

Smallville, interviewed the Sheriff who told us there

was no indication that young Mr. Clark Kent was a

terrorist, and that we were in a car accident that

prevented us from interviewing the suspect, but a

subsequent visit by the suspect in question to our

hospital rooms provided enough evidence to support the

Sheriff’s assessment.”

“Still can’t remember how we got to the hospital in

Metropolis?” Mulder asked, sipping his cocoa.

“No. Can you?”

He shook his head. “Since all the notes I might have

taken were in my notebook, which was ruined by the

snow, I have nothing. But I’m not sure I buy the idea

that we slid off the road and were rescued by a

passing grain truck, Scully. I can’t remember

anything after we left the Sheriff.”

“Mulder, that’s not uncommon. You had a concussion,

so did I. That, coupled with the hypothermia could

very possibly result in amnesia, maybe even permanent

amnesia, of the events immediately preceding the

trauma.”

Mulder pulled at his lip. “So, I guess we just close

the book on Clark Kent of Smallville?”

Scully looked back at her report, saved it to the hard

drive and closed down the computer. “I don’t know,

Mulder. I don’t think we’ve heard the last of Clark

Kent. But for now, I think it’s time we both went to

bed.” At his hopeful wiggle of eyebrows, she laughed.

“And got some sleep.”

He feigned disappointment, but helped her to her feet.

“Fine. I’ll just attack you in the morning.”

the end